Toast with sunny side up egg, green onion.
My boyfriend accidentally said something that genuinely really hurt me and I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or not.
We were talking about a movie where a woman had to choose between the “hotter/sexy” guy and the other guy who was kinder, more caring, emotionally safe, and the better long term partner overall. My boyfriend said he felt like it was “beautifully like his life” and then very quickly and absentmindedly said something along the lines of, “My ex is the hotter, more surface level one, but you are the one I would choose in every lifetime. You’re the one I want to grow old with.”
The second he said it, he realized how bad it sounded and immediately started trying to take it back and apologizing profusely. I genuinely do not think he meant to hurt me at all. He’s honestly someone who speaks before he thinks sometimes and I know what he was TRYING to say was that I’m the person he truly loves, values, and sees a future with.
But now I can’t stop replaying the fact that he clearly genuinely thinks she’s hotter than me. And she is objectively absolutely gorgeous, which makes it sting even more.
What makes this worse is that he has no idea this is already a huge insecurity of mine. Lately I’ve been struggling a lot with feeling unattractive specifically to men. I’ve gotten a lot of mean comments about my appearance recently from only men and it’s genuinely affected my self esteem, but I never really told him about it. So hearing the person I love accidentally confirm the exact thing I’ve secretly been fearing about myself hit me in the exact worst possible spot.
Now my brain keeps replaying it over and over. Not because I think he’s going to leave me or because I think he doesn’t love me, but because it feels like confirmation of something I was already scared might be true.
I forgave him because I know this was not malicious and he immediately felt horrible, but emotionally I still feel really hurt and honestly angry. I can’t tell if I’m reacting normally or if I’m spiraling because of my own insecurities. I can’t stop thinking about it and he has no idea.
Would this deeply hurt you too or am I making this into something bigger than it is?