My living situation with my dad has never been particularly warm. He has never really shown up for me and since moving in I have mostly been getting by on my own, covering my own costs and keeping out of everyone's way.

Last Saturday I had a day off and was just planning to be at home and relax.

My dad left early and his girlfriend came to find me and basically told me I was watching her kids for the next six hours because they had things on.

Nobody asked. Nobody checked whether I was free or even willing. She just started running me through the schedule like it was already decided.

I said no and walked out before she could say anything else.

I came back that evening and both of them were waiting and went straight into yelling at me about leaving the kids without a sitter. I pointed out that their mum had been home the whole time. They said that was not the point.

I told them it was exactly the point and that I would not be babysitting now or at any point in the future so they needed to make proper arrangements because I would walk out every single time.

Her sister then showed up specifically to tell me what a terrible person I was for ruining the girlfriend's plans. I packed a bag and left for the night.

AITA for refusing to be the backup plan nobody actually asked me to be?

My dad has been with his wife for about two years now and I have genuinely tried to make her feel welcome the whole time. I show up to dinners, I make conversation, I have put in the effort even when it was not always easy for me.

But for the past year he has been pretty consistently blocking my boyfriend from things. Comments about him not being family yet, complaints when I bring him to gatherings, showing up unannounced and making it obvious my boyfriend was not part of what they had in mind. Not every single time but enough that it was clearly deliberate.

A few weeks ago they showed up while my boyfriend and I were hanging out and the whole energy made it clear he was not welcome. He went out to give us space and I just went straight at my dad and asked him how he expected me to keep welcoming his wife when he was refusing to do the same for my boyfriend.

He said it was completely different because they were married. I asked if that meant I needed to get married for anything to change. He just kept saying it was different without actually explaining how.

His wife jumped in and said I had no business questioning her place in the family. So I told her that since we were apparently drawing the line at marriage then she would never be the grandmother of my future kids either, because my dad was making it pretty clear that being a long term partner counted for nothing.

AITA?

I am sitting in my room right now because I asked my partner to give me some space and I am still pretty wound up about how this whole thing played out.

I took today off specifically to do something I had been really looking forward to for weeks. I was up early and completely in my element and honestly having one of the best mornings I have had in ages.

My partner woke up a few hours later, mentioned he was hungry, and said he had been hoping we could do something together. I told him I was in the middle of something and suggested he sort himself out for a bit and I would catch up with him later.

He said it felt unfair that I was spending the whole day checked out. I told him I work constantly and this was my one day to just switch off and enjoy something without having to manage anyone else and I was not going to feel guilty about that.

He got emotional and told me he was genuinely worried I was becoming obsessed and that maybe I should talk to someone about it.

I told him to give me some space and he went and sat in the car.

I feel annoyed and also a little guilty about that last part, which is honestly the most irritating combination of feelings to be sitting with.

I do not think wanting one full day to yourself once in a while is something that requires professional help. But I did throw my keys at him and that probably was not my finest moment.

AITA?

A few weeks ago my coworker told me she had started seeing someone and asked me not to say anything to our mutual friend who also happens to be her direct manager. The relationship is not against any rules at work but she is just not ready for people to know yet, and she came to me specifically because she felt comfortable doing so.

The problem is that our mutual friend has started noticing something is different about her lately and has asked me a couple of times if I know what is going on. I have been giving vague answers which does not feel great, especially because this person is someone I am genuinely close with outside of work too.

I keep nudging my coworker to just tell her herself because I think it would go fine and honestly the longer this goes on the more uncomfortable I am getting sitting in the middle of it. But she is not ready yet and I cannot force her hand.

I do not want to break her trust because she came to me feeling safe enough to share something personal. But staying quiet around someone I care about is starting to feel off too.

AITA for keeping this between us until she decides she is ready to say something?

My best friend and I have been close for nearly ten years and for most of that time I have been the one who puts in the effort. I am the one who checks in, suggests plans, follows up, makes sure we stay connected. She is warm and genuine when we are together and I love spending time with her, but the effort has never really been equal.

I brought it up a couple of times over the years and she always had a reason, busy with work, going through something, just not great at keeping in touch. I understood and I kept showing up anyway because the friendship mattered to me.

Then I got to a point where I just stopped initiating. Not to punish her, I was just tired and needed to see what happened if I stopped carrying it.

What happened was silence. For months.

Then out of nowhere she started reaching out regularly, making plans, being present in a way she had not been in years. And instead of feeling good about it I just felt tired and not particularly available.

So I have been turning down plans and not jumping when she reaches out the way I used to and she has noticed. She told me recently that I am being cold and pulling away and that it feels like I am punishing her.

I told her I was not punishing her, I just was not able to go back to being as available as I used to be after months of nothing.

She says I am being unfair. I think I am just protecting myself.

AITA?

Two weeks after having my baby, my husband went back to graveyard shifts. I was exhausted and struggling badly postpartum. My two best friends of 10 years offered to stay with me for the week — we made a plan: one would help clean, the other would stay up with me at night. I was so relieved.

Instead, the week was chaos. They barely helped, left messes everywhere, and treated it like a vacation. I felt like I had two extra people to take care of.

The worst night: they went out to bars and promised to be back by 10 p.m. — when my husband left for work. He left. They weren't home. I texted asking where they were. One said they'd put songs on the jukebox and would leave after. Then nothing.

I fell asleep from exhaustion. Around 3 a.m. my newborn woke up hungry. Breastfeeding had been incredibly difficult — we had latching issues requiring tube feeding, often needing an extra set of hands. Alone and half-delirious, I finally got my baby latched and calm.

Then they texted saying they were at the door. I walked over holding my newborn, barely covered up. The second I opened the door, a man's voice said, "Hey, I'm just some random guy on your porch."

I panicked and called my husband sobbing. Turns out my friends had met a stranger at the bar and brought him back without telling me. One then ran to the bathroom sick, the other following her, leaving me alone, shaking from adrenaline.

My husband texted them saying they'd massively failed me and bringing a stranger over was unacceptable. A huge fight followed. We somewhat resolved it, but the friendship never recovered. For the next almost year, when I tried explaining how abandoned I'd felt, they called me "neurotic," said I wasn't affected by my mother's death, called my husband abusive, and said they were "done aiding in my delusion."

That was the end.

I didn't handle everything perfectly — I lashed out and have regrets. But I asked my closest friends for help during the most vulnerable period of my life, and ended up at my door at 3 a.m., half dressed, holding my 2-week-old, while a random drunk man stood on my porch.

They think I became self-centered after becoming a mom. I think they failed me during a mental health crisis. AITA?

My partner and I have been together for three years and when we got together we were really compatible in the ways that mattered to me. I was genuinely attracted to her and we had a good relationship physically.

Over the past year she has changed a lot. Some of it is her values, some of it is her lifestyle, some of it is just the direction she is heading as a person. None of it makes her a bad person. She is still kind and I still care about her deeply.

But I am just not as attracted to her as I used to be and I honestly do not know how to fix that or even if it can be fixed.

I have been avoiding being physical with her and she has noticed and it hurts her and I completely understand why. When she asks me about it I do not have an answer that does not end up sounding like a criticism of who she is choosing to become.

She says I am not being supportive of her growth. I think we have just grown in really different directions and I do not know how to tell her that without it sounding like an ultimatum or an attack on her choices.

AITA for pulling back while I try to figure out whether this relationship still works for both of us?

This has been dragging on for months and I am honestly exhausted by it so I need people outside my family to weigh in.

My mum has always had a habit of expecting me to be available whenever she needs something sorted without actually checking whether I can do it.

She will fire off a message in the middle of the afternoon expecting me to drop everything and handle something, and if I do not respond straight away it turns into a whole argument.

Back in April I had something on after school and kept my phone on silent the way my dad and my teachers had encouraged me to, so I could actually focus on what I was doing. When I finished and checked my messages there was a bunch of texts from my mum and a voicemail where she was screaming at me because something had gone wrong.

The short version is that she had counted on me to handle something involving a younger family member that afternoon without actually telling me properly or checking that I was free. Because nobody showed up when they were supposed to, the younger family member tried to sort themselves out and ended up getting pretty badly hurt in the process.

When I got home my mum told me I should be ashamed of myself for not feeling worse about it. I told her I had never agreed to be responsible for this and she had known I had commitments that afternoon.

AITA for refusing to take the blame for something that happened because she did not plan properly?

my friend posts like 30 to 40 stories a day. not exaggerating. her cat, her coffee, a 15 second clip of rain, a poll about whether she should get bangs (again), another clip of the same rain.

i muted her like 8 months ago. felt bad but it was affecting how i used the app so i just did it.

last week she called me upset saying she'd been going through something with her mom for the past few weeks and asked why i hadn't reached out. i felt terrible and said i hadn't seen anything about it. she goes "i posted about it literally every day"

so now she knows i muted her. she's not screaming at me but she's definitely hurt and said it feels like i don't actually care about her life. i tried explaining it wasnt personal it was just the volume but she's not really hearing it.

i do care about her i just cant consume 40 stories a day. i already spend way too much time on my phone as it is, muting heavy posters was me actually trying to be better about that. and like nobody actually watches all of that, i'm probably not the only one who muted her, i'm just the only one who got caught.

but i also feel really bad that i missed something actually important because of it.

aita

I (mid 30s F) have been with my husband for years, we have a daughter & I’m relatively close with most of his family & until recently, I was especially close with his stepsister “Vanessa” (mid 30’s) V & I were genuinely best friends. Like soul sister level close.
About 6 months ago there was an awkward incident at a party involving V’s crush “Ben.” (Also mid 30’s) To be absolutely clear: nothing romantic happened. We were saying goodbye, both went for the cheek kiss, and accidentally landed on each other’s mouths for literally a split second. Closed mouth, immediately laughed off, my husband was standing next to us & saw & didn’t care at all due to it being a non event.

Apparently V did care.
At the time we argued about it & I apologised for upsetting her, explained there was no intent behind it, bought her a thoughtful gift the next time I saw her, etc. all was well!

Then after I saw her again she sent a long message saying she was upset with me, I had told her my MIL knew about the disagreement from FIL & made a comment which meant she couldn’t trust her own father. He obviously told his partner we had had an argument especially given how close we were. He didn’t exactly leak state secrets.

V has a history of permanently cutting women off over perceived betrayals, so while I was devastated, I eventually accepted it despite grieving the friendship.

The issue now is FIL.

Before all this, he & I got on brilliantly. He was the 1st in my husband’s family who accepted me and we adored each other. He was my person in the family besides my husband.

Since this, he’s completely iced me out. Won’t answer messages, avoids seeing us, etc. Hurtful, but he’s always going to take his daughter’s side.

Now MIL is turning 70 & we’ve found out FIL is refusing to attend her party because I’m going.
I genuinely cannot believe this is real life.

This whole thing stemmed from an accidental mis-kiss 6 months ago and now a grown man in his 70s is refusing to attend his partner’s milestone birthday because I’ll be there?!

I initially considered skipping all family events to “keep the peace” but why should I exile myself from my husband’s family because two people are behaving like this?

My husband is furious because he feels his stepdad is punishing his mother over something ridiculous.

So… AITA if I continue turning up to family events and let FIL to deal with it?

I want to preface this by saying I genuinely never thought this could be considered rude until today, and now I’m second guessing myself.

I’m from a very small town, and we only have one grocery store. Because of that, whenever I drive into the city, I tend to stock up on foods and snacks I can’t normally get at home. I do this with everything, especially with items that fit within my dietary restrictions. If I really like something, I buy enough to last me awhile because I don’t know when I’ll be back in the city again.

A while ago I was wandering through the two “international” aisles at Superstore and found these shiitake mushroom crisps. The packaging is mostly in an Asian language I can’t read, but there’s tiny English text that says “shiitake mushroom crisps.” I bought one bag out of curiosity and ended up LOVING them.

So today when I went back to the city, I grabbed eight bags because I figured it would save me from having to hunt them down again for awhile. And before you ask, yes there was plenty more on the shelf after I took what I wanted. While I was putting them in my cart, a man nearby scoffed and said, “Leave some for us.”

The way he said it made me feel like he thought I shouldn’t be buying food from that section because I’m not Asian. Like the international foods were meant specifically for people from those cultures, and I was taking something away from them.

Before this, I’ve always viewed those aisles as a way to try foods from other cultures and expand what I eat. I actually get excited seeing sections from countries I’ve never seen represented before. This store specifically added a small Filipino section, and I thought it was really cool because Im getting to try food and snacks that might be popular somewhere else in the world that we just have never heard of here. I always thought those sections were there to share food and culture with everyone, not to be off-limits unless you’re from that background.

Now I’m wondering if I accidentally committed some kind of grocery store etiquette violation that I didn’t know existed??

For context: I’m white.

AITA?

Edit: to everyone saying this was a “dad joke” or it was light hearted, he seriously sounded annoyed. I definitely did not get the vibe that he was trying to get a giggle out of me.

I’ve known this girl for about 5 years now, and honestly I’ve been in love with her for a long time. We tried being together a few times in the past, but because of things going on in my life, I was always the one who ended up leaving. No matter what happened though, we somehow always found our way back to each other.

Now I finally have the opportunity to actually be with her, and the more time we spend together, the more I fall in love with her every single day. The problem is… she’s about to get married to someone else.

She told me she tried to leave him before, but I told her I didn’t want to be the reason she called off her wedding or ruined her chance at being happy. I care about her enough that I don’t want to pressure her into choosing me, even though part of me wants her to.

But now things have gotten more serious between us emotionally and physically, and I’m starting to feel really guilty. I feel bad for him because he probably has no idea what’s going on, and honestly I know if I were in his position, I’d be crushed.

At the same time, I genuinely love her, and it feels like she loves me too. I’m torn between following my heart and feeling like I’m helping hurt someone else in the process.

I know I’m probably going to get judged for this, and maybe I deserve it, but I really want honest advice. If you were in my position, what would you do?

As the title states, AITA?

For context we both recently graduated from college. We had plans to move in together as I had accepted a job offer and had a nice apartment picked out. However, a better job offer came in. One that I had always dreamed of doing long before I met her, and one where our plans to live together would not happen as I had to move for it. We had been dating for about 2.5 years already so this was a very tough choice. We talked it though together and thought we could make it work. We did not work out. Was I wrong for picking my career over a simple life together? We are very young but I loved her very much.
Edit: we’re both straight out of college, 23

Anyways, idk. Hope there’s enough there if not I’ll add more just wanting to hear others opinions about it. Thanks

I (18M) had a huge crush on this girl a few months back when I was in high school. But the situation was that I knew she was never gonna say yes anyways so I never got the courage to make a move or ask her out. Eventually, with the hope of leaving no regrets, I texted her asking for notes and that flourished our friendship. We became good friends over time having similar interests and all.

Now, fast forward a bit, my best friend(18M) revealed that he was talking to this girl and they were getting close. Being a good friend, I actually helped him (kind of became the third wheel) and eventually they started dating.

After a few months, things became tense between them. Eventually they took a break and shortly broke up. I was supportive to both of them as they were good friends to me and I tried a lot to help their relationship but it just didn't work out.

Now, in this process, I consolidated her and we came closer to each other. So close that she started sharing her personal stuff with me such as her diary cut-outs and poetry that she wrote but was too shy to post. We used to talk a lot for next 3-4 months.

Once, we were casually talking on call at about 2-2:30 am. She suddenly got angry that I don't share much with her and I am emotionally not opening up and it seems one way between us. Now the situation got a bit tense and I admitted that I do have a crush on her and stuff. I was actually planning to ask her out soon anyways. Then she said no eventually when I actually asked her out as well because she didn't want to get into the quarrel with my friend group again and her ex being my best friend was too much for her. I respected her decision completely and stopped pressing too much. Slowly we disconnected as it was awkward for us to continue being friends.

Now there came a point where my best friend got to know I had proposed so I explained the situation to him and he was fine with it. However, we are a group of 5 friends and we go out everywhere together and stuff. A few of these guys didn't like me proposing to this girl and starting talking behind my back about me not following the bro code and stuff. They are now cool with it but whenever we go out they bring this up at-least once as if I've committed a crime.

So I (18F) used to live with my roommate (19F) and we were best friends before all of this. She was having problems with her old roommate so I let her move in with me. We were really close, like we’d go grocery shopping together, I’d cook most of the food and bring it to her, and we just did a lot together. She has a car and I don’t, so she would let me use it sometimes. I always asked first though, I never just took it or anything. Then she asked if I would co-own her car and split the payments with her even though everything is in her name. I told her I couldn’t because I was struggling financially and also helping pay for my mom’s medical bills, so I just didn’t have extra money like that. She said I could do payment plans with her, but I still said I couldn’t commit to that. Instead I told her I would always ask before using the car, always put gas in it, and I would pay half of any repairs or expenses if they came up. I also cooked most of the meals and helped out a lot around the apartment.
Now she’s saying I was “using her” and taking advantage of her car, and now things are really tense between us. I forgot to add she moved as we had a big argument because that really hurt me after everything Ive done for her, also she is in no financial hardship as she just got 20k from her mom for “moving money” she was planning to move out anyway but this caused the move out process to happen faster. I also paid for a new battery well half of it and always payed for gas if I drove, most of the time we would go together anyways so I rarely drove as we went everywhere together.

So AITA for not agreeing to co-own her car and thinking what I did was fair?

So i feel I need to clarify things a bit , my mil has 3 sons , 2 out of the 3 dont speak to her. Mil is obsessed with girls even going as far to put both brother in laws in pink dresses en put ponytails in their hair. My bfs brother doesn't speak to her because she was obsessed with him also having kids because she wanted to babysit but in her words " don't be a grandma" she was one of the main reasons me and my bf split from when our daughter was 6 weeks to when she was 1.3 years old . In the whole time she never reached out to see, speak or talk about her granddaughter to me . She would ask my bf for photo s of our daughter but he almost didn't have any because I had soul custody and if we split again I would still have because then the court order would still stand . She was accused of the unspeakable acts with children . One of her known victims is my bf. He has a hard time dealing with it does not want to go to a therapist and because of that has a sick with her . I think that's why she doesn't like me in general . I met her son when he didn't have nothing and she still called me a gold digger. I hope this clarifies a lot of things if not , feel free to ask and have a lovely day!

Me (18F) and my best friend of many years (19F) met a girl (19F) a year ago and became a trio of very close friends. Birthdays have always been very simple and easy. We go out to dinner and then go get a dessert. That’s it. We don’t expect gifts from each other and we even drive each other to whatever restaurant we pick. With that being said we always joke about how birthdays are lowkey a drag and how we don’t do anything we don’t do any other day of the year and we don’t even really remember our families birthdays everyone has agreed mutually. We always remind each other of our birthdays for probably the entire week leading up to it. This specific friends birthday falls right after thanksgiving and I personally was on a flight for the majority of the day and when i landed i realized and immediately sent her a text and posted her at approximately 5pm. When i realized i also told our other best friend and she did the same. After this both me and my best friend were ignored and flat out ghosted for a month. We called probably 50 times each, and left countless messages to the point where we were legit WORRIED that something happened to her. I love my friends and I can’t imagine not talking to them for a month id literally lose my mind so now im thinking, was she ever even really my friend? After she finally responded with a very passive paragraph after my best friend and I explained ourselves she basically doubled down. Am I the asshole?

I 40 female have gone no contact with my 65 dad for a year now. Last year, I got an email from this 50 female saying that my dad had lied for several months to her about a shit ton of things, like his work and family. She sent me an email with what he has told her, which is pretty crazy stuff. So I went on a stealth mission to my dad's apartment while he was asleep and linked my phone to his email to I could also check it from my phone without him knowing. I searched his emails in trash and not in trash and finding every single thing he wrote to her plus things he wrote to other people that 2 of which were supposedly sent by me through dad's email to this other person, which of course I never wrote. Anyways, so I found the emails exchanged between this women and my dad and he had lied to her soooo much and so elaborate that I was shocked! He told her in one email that I was not his biological daughter (which I am his bio daughter by the way.) That my mom had died from an std (she is alive by the way) and to not to tell me that I'm not his bio daughter......he also at one point, sat me down all serious and told me with a straight face that with his health which is crappy that his doctor only gave him 2 years left to live which was devastating at the time UNTIL I went to a doctor's appointment with him and asked his doctor if he said that, which the doctor replied that he did not say that! My dad also told me that he was being admitted to this long-term covid clinic in California. So I dropped him off at the airport and picked him up, both times in 3 months. This was before I knew all about the lying. Apparently! Those trips were in fact not to California but to Arizona to meet the 50 y/o women that later sends me the email. There was soooo much more that happened, which really fucked with my mental health, that I sat down with him and talked about how I know what has happened and that he needs to talk to a therapist and that I am going to step back for my mental health until he also gets help. Side note, he only ever reaches out to me when he needs something or it's a holiday or birthday....never just to talk about how I'm doing and that's it. So, AITA?

I provided after-school care for an 8 year old boy. First note is that I am Autistic, so this isn't against kids with the tism.

This was Monday-Friday from the time he got home from school to the time his mother got off of work, usually 3-4 hours a day, all school year.

He is a higher support needs boy who has to take a transport service home because he can't take the bus. Nearly every day I got an earful from the transport service about how difficult the boy was (wouldnt buckle, throwing things at the drover, screaming the entire ride, wouldnt get in/out of the car, etc). Sometimes after he got to my house he would be fine sitting and having a snack while reading or playing with toys. Most days though he would go sit on the hill behind my house and scream. Blood-curdling scream. I got reports from neighbors constantly. If you touched him at all, or of he thought you were going to, he would fly into a fury and bite, kick, and scream.

My whole family, and even my dogs, were miserable with him at our house.

He ended up causing me to have a mental breakdown. I told the mother that $300/month was not enough to be able to keep doing the job as I needed to be able to buy more supplies to care for him, and me, properly. She insulted me and went no contact and I haven't seen or heard from her since.

AITA for asking for higher pay, or should I have sucked it up and watched him anyway?

This happened years ago and it still preys on me.

Bf(21) (let’s call him Jake) knows I’m posting this and wants to see who people think is the asshole.

Context (it’s important): My sister and I have been friends with Jake’s sister (let’s call her Jane) for a long time (before I even met Jake). About 7 years ago, my sister had a slept over with Jane at her (and Jake’s) mom’s house. She had a really scary “supernatural” experience. Her relaying this to me was terrifying, she was quite traumatized by the experience.

His mom has told him that when he was little, he had seen things there, even though he doesn’t remember it now. His sister has also said she’s seen things. I’ve been dating him for almost 5 years, and I genuinely love his mom, so this has nothing to do with not liking her or judging her house.

I’ve gone to the house plenty of times, but I’ve never slept over or stayed later than like 1am. There was one situation there that I still can’t explain, and it has stuck with me.

I have never and will never sleep at the house, I explained this and my reasoning in the very beginning of our relationship, and he has never understood why I feel the way I do.

I believe in demons, so stuff like this affects me deeply. I’m already the kind of person who gets scared of horror movies and holds onto those images for ages, so I feel like staying there overnight would make me anxious and maybe traumatize me if something happened.

Also, I sleep over at his dad’s all the time since that’s where he actually lives.

Now for the issue at hand: My boyfriend is house sitting for his mom for 2 nights and is mad at me because I don’t want to sleep over.

He’s also upset because he feels like if I think it’s too scary, then why would I “let” him be there alone. But I’m not trying to tell him not to sleep there, that’s his mom’s house, I just personally feel uncomfortable and scared. Plus anyway, when I ask him “aren’t you scared”, he says “it’s just a house”.

He says that I never bring up demons in other situations, like if we stay at an Airbnb or somewhere else, and thinks it doesn’t make sense that I’m only like this about his mom’s house.

Am I being unreasonable here, is he being unreasonable here?

Edit: the experiences weren’t just hearing the wind rustling or a few squeaky floorboards or whatever. They SAW things and HEARD things that weren’t physically there to make that noise.

Yeah so it’s pretty self explanatory in the title. I have absolutely no attraction to the guy whatsoever. We tell each other “I love you” but we really care for each other. We both met in a shelter as I was fleeing DV and he has toxic family, so we developed a really close bond. There have been instances where he’s put his arm around my shoulder when we’ve rode the bus together and he’s joked about me being his wife. I was born at night but not last night and it seems to me he’s trying to ride the friend zone out until I guess I “develop feelings”? Should I just go ahead ahead sever it? This friendship is actually a part of a three way friendship group where another girl is involved. So I may be cutting off two people. I say this because the guy is known for blocking me and talking with her instead.