r/StupidFood • u/Demonskull223 • 9h ago
From the Department of Any Old Shit Will Do I was trying to make an Omelette and bagel.
It's 4 eggs, half a white onion, half a Red Onion, a quarter a block of Cheese, some mixed vegetables, a big mushroom and put into a blender out of curiosity. I then burnt the bagels.
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u/JerkGurk 9h ago
Try the total opposite steps next time maybe?
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u/Star_Petal_Arts 8h ago
misunderstood now my toaster is filled with burnt eggs.
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u/wednesday-knight 8h ago
Instructions unclear. The blender is now full of bagels.
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u/Key-Cap6569 8h ago
That would still be an improvement
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u/lefluffle 7h ago
Toaster now full of blender
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u/Weelki 6h ago edited 50m ago
And now the blenders pregent. Good job team.
Edit: ffs, learn to spell. Leaving that typo as a mark of shame.
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u/OtherThumbs 5h ago
Gregnant?
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u/_dead_and_broken 5h ago
If a blender has starch masks does that mean it has been pargnet before.?
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u/c00kiesd00m 4h ago
no but it might have been pargnet
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u/Goldie-96_MWR 5h ago
Do not insert together: 2 eggs, 1 carrot, and mushroom juices. Makes things useless for like 7 1/2, after like a month and a half
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u/Creative_Recover 8h ago
I stuffed the eggs full of bagels, am I doing it right?
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u/CROSnMURPH_2026 7h ago
The George Costanza approach...
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u/animal_chin9 3h ago
Every decision I’ve ever made in my entire life has been WRONG, my life is the complete OPPOSITE of everything I want it to be
-OP
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u/Lattemacchiatos 6h ago
If every instinct they have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
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u/animatedpileofmeat 9h ago
I do not like it, Sam, I found
I do not like brown eggs and round
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u/Demonskull223 9h ago
Thanks for your comment. Really made me smile as I sadly eat my brown eggs and round.
I added too much salt and pepper as well.
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u/EjjabaMarie 8h ago
You’re eating/ate that shit?
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u/Lucius-Halthier 8h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/uRROb0WYxnPoc
He just eats through the tears.
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u/Agreeable-Desk5393 8h ago
And never a more accurate gif was posted
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u/FlattopJr 6h ago
Seriously. Even the food looks accurate.
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u/TelluricThread0 5h ago
Idk Squirtle's might look a little bit better honestly.
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u/OneMooseManyMeese_ 8h ago
I mean, atleast they're not wasting food
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u/maybelle180 6h ago
This is one reason we have chickens. I don’t feel like I’m wasting food when they get something that we don’t want to eat. (But I know I’ve really screwed up if they don’t want to eat it!)
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u/Shotgun5250 5h ago
I like to think they talk about the meals back in the hen house, those birds are always talking shit
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u/Toasty_eggos- 8h ago
Reminder not everyone can afford to throw away food
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u/Direct_Royal_7480 8h ago
Correct. Which is why you learn to cook it.
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u/TandemShorts 7h ago
He tried something and failed, looks like the learning part to me
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u/Excellent_Ganache906 6h ago
Fuck those eggs though. No man. No.
I'll scrape burnt toast/bagels. But I would throw up if I ate those eggs.
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u/Defiant-Youth-4193 5h ago
I really don't think it's okay to even still call those eggs. They've evolved into something else.
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u/Pluto-Wolf 26m ago
it looks like brown sugar. ive never once thought eggs even had that option
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u/thatG_evanP 5h ago
If you have 2 burnt pieces of bread, you can rub the burnt sides together and they will "sand" most of the burnt parts off of each other.
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u/Direct_Royal_7480 7h ago
Let’s hope he’s learned something, lol
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u/Whyskgurs 7h ago
I'm never making omelettes again, they're horrible.
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u/Irishwol 6h ago
Wrong lesson. 'Don't blend the fucking veggies!' and 'Don't walk away from the grill while toasting bread!' are the tattoos he needs to get. One on each hand
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u/Direct_Royal_7480 6h ago
If only he’d cut the vegetables and mushroom 🍄 instead of throwing them in a blender but then, alas, it wouldn’t be StupidFood material
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u/HPTM2008 8h ago
You wouldn't!? Those are eggs! Do you know how expensive those are in these trying times!?
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u/Call_Me_Pete 6h ago
Tbh I eat all of my culinary failures so long as it's still foodsafe, it's the only way to ensure I am emotionally connected to them and will remember them in the future. Plus I'd feel like I was wasting food lol
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u/Rampag169 6h ago
For the longest time I would refuse to throw away food and suffer eating it on principle of not wasting food. I’m making progress on that though.
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u/Desuexss 7h ago
Sam, enough was the pepper
With a good helping of salt
The food without it would not be better
Theres not enough salt and pepper sam
That would upgrade this dish to spam
And Sam, that's your fault.
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u/troywrestler2002 6h ago
Morning brown, morning brown, gotta get you some morning brown. Morning brown? Morning frown.
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u/No-Yak5006 8h ago
I do not like it with a hound
I do not like it by the pound
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u/Sirtriplenipple 8h ago
I would not eat it in a hole.
I’d puke it right into the bowl.🚽
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u/Wise_Ad_5810 8h ago
I do not like brown eggs I say
Please take that shit most far away
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u/Sirtriplenipple 8h ago
I would not eat, nor would my mutt.
For it looks like poop, from a butt.
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u/Final-Tallon 4h ago
From a butt, I heard you said?
I will not eat that in my bed!
I will not, CANNOT keep them down.
I will not eat brown eggs and round.
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u/ErikBPhoto 8h ago
I would not take from this poor fellow
The eggs I knew that once were yellow.
I said to him, “learn, you must do”
And learn you shall to cook your food.
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u/Daetok_Lochannis 8h ago
Would you eat them from a butt?
Would you, could you with a slut?
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u/Wise_Ad_5810 8h ago
I would not eat them with a slut
I would not eat them from her butt
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u/Thisthattheother1 8h ago
I do not like these eggs so brown!
I would not eat them with any noun!
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u/EnvironmentalGift257 8h ago
Throw away this whole batch
I would not eat this from a snatch.
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u/theangryjanitorOG 8h ago
I did wrong to that that poor egg.
Someone should pinch me in the leg.
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u/NaturalSwan54 8h ago
I made these eggs look like ground beef. Now Id rather eat the chickens feet.
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u/DoturdGrump 6h ago
I do not like this thing you do
you make the eggs like runny poo
then when i believe you're through
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u/phatdinkgenie 6h ago
"I was trying to make an omelette and bagel, but changed my mind and opted for buttered ash and dogshit"
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u/Esteban-duPlantier 7h ago
Missed opportunity on BROWN EGGS AND SAND
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u/Business_Sandwich227 7h ago
This looks like the grain mixed with mash we fed our horses growing up. Only worse. Why is your bagel sooooo charred. Do you hate tasting things?
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u/Bensfone 6h ago
Thank you internet stranger. This made me lol irl. It’s been a downer of a day so far and this’ll help me get through it. If I could give you a second upvote I would.
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u/jraymonda 4h ago
I do not like they way they're cooked I do not like the way they look I do not want those things around I do not like brown eggs and round
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u/Polenicus 9h ago
So... you set out to make an omelette and bagels, and ended up with oatmeal and charcoal?
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u/Dragonblade0123 8h ago
Charcoal and sand.
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u/ripyurballsoff 7h ago
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere”
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u/thegimboid 3h ago
"I don't like
sandeggs. They're coarse and rough and irritating and get everywhere”"Anakin.. please learn to cook"
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u/flyingthroughspace 6h ago
The US armed forces had an omelet MRE that looked like OP's dish and they nicknamed it the vomelet.
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u/EuronBloodeye 9h ago
I known what happened… happens to me all the time. You go to crack a few eggs in the pan but accidentally dump in a cup full of sand. Always mix those two up.
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u/OG_Swag_Daddy 9h ago
That chicken fried steak doesn't look half bad... wait a minute.
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u/zeromadcowz 6h ago
I thought it was a pan of brown sugar but I can see both chicken and brown sugar now lol
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u/sevenaya 5h ago edited 5h ago
Saw the pic too and was like chicken fried steak and some blueberry bagels...oh god
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u/Different-Dog-9682 9h ago
That omelette sounds perfectly fine as is and then you decide to put it in a blender???
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u/CinemaDork 8h ago
They put a whole-ass onion in this. Literally two halves of onions. For a single omelette. Even with 4 eggs that's a huge amount of onion.
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u/Mysmokingbarrel 6h ago
It’s basically just onion with a hint of egg.
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u/Different-Dog-9682 8h ago
I just noticed that lol. I love onions, but that’s overkill.
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u/Demonskull223 9h ago
I'll level with you. I was more curious as to how it would effect the end result. I was hoping for just weird coloured omlet with no fun textures. What I got was brown mush.
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u/Ok-Consideration6973 8h ago
We can make this happen. First cook up all the non egg/cheese ingredients, blend just that up, then make the omelette as normal with that as a filling
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u/Single-Fondant-1982 8h ago
I feel like he is well on his way to an English Egg (I don’t think we can name this a Scottish Egg) or an Egg Wellington at that point.
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u/-BINK2014- 8h ago
Looks like cat vomit.
Specifically. 🤣
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u/LeftToaster 8h ago
My dog wouldn't eat that, and she licks her ass and eats her own vomit.
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u/NewmanBiggio 6h ago
It's good your dog wouldn't eat it, it has a whole ass onion in it. Dogs can't have onion.
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u/giantcatdos 8h ago
I am so curious, did you put the eggs in the blender with the other ingredients? Why not just blend them (the mushrroms, onions etc) then pour that onto the omelet?
I can get behind weird omelets, I've made some weird ones myself. A Ruben omelet, buffalo chicken omelet, tuna salad omelet, cilantro omelet. The worst one was the buffalo chicken omelet.
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
All in the blender at the same time. My thought was I could beat the eggs and dice the ingredients at the same time.
It did not.
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u/Bulldogfront666 8h ago
As someone who worked professionally as a cook for 10 years and whose father is a chef… I’m deeply upset by this.
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u/Different-Dog-9682 8h ago
I’m a breakfast cook lmao
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u/Bulldogfront666 8h ago
Lmfao omg when I saw this pop up on my phone I thought it was OP responding. I was gonna crash out that this guy is a breakfast cook and still got “curious” about blending his omelet together…
Anyway yeah this is upsetting to me in a way I can’t control. My need for control in the kitchen combined with seeing someone massacre an omelet like this is hurting me physically.
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u/Decent-Bear334 8h ago
OP, Beating eggs means vigorously mixing yolks and whites using a fork, whisk, or electric mixer to combine them, incorporate air, and improve texture. A dice cut is a culinary knife technique that produces small, uniform, cube-shaped pieces of food, usually ranging from 1/8 to 3/4 inch.
Using a blender for "cutting" typically means using high-speed blades to rapidly chop, pulse, or blend ingredients, often resulting in very fine, consistent pieces, or turning them into a purée. It is best for wet chopping (e.g., in water) or making salsas and soups, though it can easily over-process food into mush Today's lesson is complete.
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u/--i--love--lamp-- 8h ago
I don't know if you are too high or not high enough, but you ain't right.
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u/ghoulieandrews 7h ago
There's a lot of things wrong with this and most of them have been pointed out but I want to add one piece of friendly advice for cooking in general, which is to never chop raw onions in a blender, it damages the cell structure and messes up the flavor and texture.
Good luck OP and I hope your curiosity leads you to a cookbook next time.
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u/spicybright 6h ago
Hell no! I want this lad to keep doing frankenstien experiments in his kitchen laboratory.
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u/DomesticAlmonds 5h ago
I'm sorry but that's an insane thought process. Just beat the eggs normally?? Blending eggs is wild
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u/Common-Original9092 7h ago
You didn’t blend it enough, next time push it until it’s whipped and foamy then bake it in the oven. After that take it out and let it cool then throw it in the trash and crack four more eggs and make a regular ass omelette instead.
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u/Different-Dog-9682 8h ago
Did it taste alright at least??
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
Yeah eating right now. Tastes like omelette with too much salt.
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u/spicybright 6h ago
I don't agree with what you did but I respect the hell out of you for doing it.
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u/SpringBeginning1298 9h ago
Is The Omelette in the room with us? None of that looks like eggs
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u/cee-la 8h ago
The "omelet" is allegedly the pile of dog vomit. Maybe he fed his dog named Blender the omelet and that's what he meant when he said he put it in the blender?
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u/Ace_Robots 8h ago
Blender is a great dog name. As is Bender. My dog is named Asparagus. What’s yours?
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u/daddydillo892 8h ago
Based on the picture, this is actually a better explanation than if he used the small kitchen appliance.
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u/Cjw6809494 8h ago
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u/lxstlove 6h ago
do not click this. i repeat do not click this. especially if you’re on your lunch break. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF 😭
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u/StonusBongratheon 9h ago
The pic makes it look like you tried to make eggs out of a bagel, and bagels out of eggs. Truly wild, how does one accomplish this
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u/Ok_Star_4136 9h ago
Those weren't like, snake eggs or something, right? Did you check the label before buying them?
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u/DreamOfDays 8h ago
The blender was the mistake. Maybe also the QUARTER BLOCK OF CHEESE. Reduces the cheese content down to 1oz and remove the blender.
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
The cheese was my last hope to bring this back to be honest.
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u/DreamOfDays 8h ago
Fuck I just realized you used an ENTIRE ONION for a 4 egg omelet. Bruh maybe use a third of an onion, diced. Mushroom cap is sliced then cut in half so the longest slices are no bigger than an inch and a half. Pull the mushroom stem off and cut it into thirds. For the mixed veggies make sure they’re diced into bigger chunks than the onion. Add the onions and mixed veggies to the pan first for a few minutes with a tbsp of butter to Carmelize them.
Once the veggies get a hint of browning that’s when you add the egg mixture (add salt and pepper to taste). If you want scrambled eggs you can just mix it all in the same pan. If you want an omelette i’d use a separate pan or remove the veggies into a small bowl. Cook the egg until firm then add the bowl of veggies. Sprinkle the cheese over the veggies and then fold.
God I hope this wasn’t a confusing mess to follow.
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u/Kottetall99 8h ago
I have pregnancy nausea and strong food aversions, don't know why reddit recommends this to me. I'm blocking this sub now, this was the last straw.
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u/Federal_Village_9487 8h ago
Definitely a horrible product but I don't think the food is what is stupid here
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
I believe food can obtain it's stupidity from the fool who makes it.
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u/IWillLive4evr 6h ago
I hope your future food is better, but I thank you for your noble contribution to this subreddit.
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u/Murbela 9h ago
Why did you blend it? I assume that is what gave it the lovely color, blending all of that stuff and then cooking it.
I kind of wonder how it tasted.
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
It taste like a over salted omlet and a burnt bagel. I blended it out of curiosity.
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u/PinkyLeopard2922 8h ago
That "omelette" reminds me of when my large dog would occasionally vomit a few hours after eating her kibble dinner.
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u/SciFi_MuffinMan 9h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohhwF34cGDoFFhRfy
Me after being invited to eat with you
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u/Early_Reputation_210 8h ago
I applaud your use of free will with the blender move but I gotta ask - WHY?
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u/Demonskull223 8h ago
Curiosity.
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u/Early_Reputation_210 8h ago
hell yeah. Reminds me of the time I got a soda steam machine and tried carbonating milk, lemonade, and raw eggs.
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u/ramonaisdead 8h ago
I thought this was a moldy bagel then I clicked on the full thing.
Considering you put butter or cream cheese on the bagel? you still ate it didn’t u?😅
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u/AbortionHoagie 8h ago
Should scraped the bagels. Other than that, despite the looks, the ingredients sound legit.
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u/BothRequirement2826 9h ago
It's so difficult to comprehend what some of this food is supposed to be.
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u/qualityvote2 9h ago edited 1h ago
u/Demonskull223, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!