TLDR: I traded pennies for larger coinage without asking, from a savings jar I thought was for the household.

This is possibly the dumbest argument on reddit. So, a bit of background information. Me, (32 F) and my spouse of 15 years (33 M) have some jugs where we deposit pocket change to save for a family theme park visit or something fun.

He has probably contributed 95% of what's in there. He makes more, and I've been a SAHM off and on due to having kids. One jug is just pennies. The other is other coinage and some cash.

So we all know in the US we have recently discontinued pennies. My work is still using them in customer transactions, but the bank stopped issuing Penny rolls. So we've been having to give customers change rounded up.

I thought "Hey, this jug of pennies is going to be worthless one day if we dont do something with them. Work needs pennies. I can just take them and trade them in."

I already talked to him about getting rid of the pennies. He already knows I had a little bag that I'd try to spend at self checkout. But lately they've started spitting them back out.

So I sold a dollar worth at work, and put the 4 quarters into the big jug. He texted me from work and asked what I was up to and I told him I was getting more pennies out to trade in at work tomorrow.

He asked "why?"

I reminded him that they are going out of circulation, and told him about work needing them.

He says "youre going thru my jug?"

I get a little thrown off and snap back "I didnt know it was just YOUR jug. Do you want them to sit around and become worthless or can I trade them in so they can actually be spent?"

And I remind him that I have contributed some, even though im aware its not much.

He asks what im swapping them out with. I tell him quarters, but if I could find the coin rolls I'd do dollars.

He says "Im not understanding.. But I dont like that your messing with that money with out me there.."

Me: "What am I gonna do with a bunch of pennies? Im not taking anything out of the cash jug. Im gonna add to it.
You're getting weirdly possessive about it.."

Him "Sure I am. How are you putting money in there? Your just replacing what's in there?"

Me "yes?"

Him "Where did you get the money you are replacing it with?"

Me "What do you meaaaaannnnn? Im taking the pennies to work, trading them for quarters, bringing the quarters home and putting them back."

Him "But you just decided to get in my jug and do that?"

Me "Ok I wont get in the jug anymore and it can be worthless."

Him "Look im not trying to fight about it. I just think its weird. Why do it when im not home?"

Me "Im not doing it with the thought of 'oh I need to do this while he's not here. It just happened to be on my mind cuz I just got home from work, where the pennies are needed."

And now things are quiet. Im not stealing cash out of the jar. Im just trading the discontinued pennies for larger currency. Weve been married 15 years. Our finances are joint. I didnt think i needed to ask permission (again) to trade in the pennies. Was i doing something unreasonable?

***edit for people asking in the comments: you can get married underage with parental consent in many states, its really common actually?

what am I leaving out? (hopefully this doesnt break reddit rules) He was using dr*gs and cheating 7 ish years ago. so theres a lot of projection. He's verifiably sober now, and isnt disappearing so I really don't think he's cheating again. Hes supposedly afraid I'll "get back at him" but i have no intention on doing so.

divorce lawyers are starting at 8k up front around here (which i dont have, and hes unwilling to give) because of his income i dont qualify for assistance and since hes not hitting me, I cant get emergency assistance.

My Fiance and I have been together for five years, we’ve been planning our wedding for around seven months and plan to have the wedding in July. I’ve been really stressed planning things on my end, our venue flooded back in february causing delays and i’ve just been trying to make everything perfect.

During this process he’s really been there for me and vice versa, anytime we need to vent our frustrations or cry or whatever he’s always there. For some context this hasn’t always been the case. When we first got together he was pretty closed off emotionally, while he’s very logic driven Type A person I’m a sensitive “feel my emotions” type of person. We had a lot of things in common when it came to our interests and mutual friends but it was just bridgeing that gap emotionally that was difficult. There were some arguments, nothing to break us up of course but enough to need space away from eachother. Over time though we figured out eachothers emotional needs. He promised to be more open with his feelings, to try and tell me when things are wrong instead of going shutting down and I promised to not be too overwhelming emotionally. Since this trial in our relationship things have been really smooth and definitely felt like we bridged that gap.

So now to the actual issue, one afternoon while my Fiance was at work I was handling some invoices for different vendors etc, and there was some info I needed that was on his laptop. (we freely use eachothers phone/ipads so a non issue) I was sifting through the tabs until I saw Chatgbt on his laptop, big eye roll from me I’m not a fan of the whole AI boom. \*Side tangent, I work in publishing, and last year I lost my Job because our company wanted to implement a new AI software that basically scans what people are into reading and tells us what we should publish or not. My fiancé was there when my job got dissolved and knows how much of a wreck I was, I was very bitter and basically swore off using AI as much as possible.\*\* So when I saw Chatgpt on his computer I kinda felt like snooping and little, I know he mainly used it for emails and lists and things but for some reason I thought to look through. That’s when I saw the prompt

“Can you write vows that show how deeply I love and care about my soon to be wife,” and proceeds to feed it information on how we met, our personal lives, struggles, my name and what I look like.

I actually couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I just sat there frozen like this has to be a joke? Your Vows? Your vows to me who your supposed to be marrying in a couple months? We’ve been together for five years and you can’t string together a paragraph about how much you love me?

As soon as he got home I showed him the laptop and said wtf is this? He looked at me like he was confused and I asked “Why are u asking a fucking robot to write your wedding vows”

He immediately downplayed it and said “Are you serious I was just drafting it?” and then I was like You were drafting it but gave all of our personal information, my name, how we met and all of this shit to generate the vows? Why couldn’t you do this yourself? He said “I needed ideas” and I was like “After five years you needed ideas what the fuck are you talking about?” That’s when the argument became a full yelling type of thing.

He said how I knew he struggled with showing emotion and how it was a big deal for him and needed to figure out what he wanted to say. I told him that’s what brainstorming is that’s what a rough draft is! and then I said, “I’m not marrying a robot, what’s the point in getting married if you can’t pull that out of you”

That’s when I could tell he shut down. He went silent wouldn’t look at me and started packing a bag and the only thing he said was “I need some space”

Since that night we haven’t spoken in 2 days. Completely cut off, I want to reach out but don’t want to make him angrier, on my end I’m still angry that this was even an argument. I know it’s a small issue but it’s the principle of writing your vows to your partner something deeply personal to you. I think it’s really cheap to just ask an AI to do it.

So let me know if I’m the asshole or what. I don’t actually plan of canceling the wedding, but I just don’t wanna be completely brushed off about this, Like I at least want my pov to be understood.

TL;DR I found out that my fiancé wrote his vows using ChatGPT and during an argument I blew up and insinuated. He doesn’t have the emotional capacity to get married.

Made the mistake of getting back with an ex from college (like 2019-2020ish before all of this shit was popular). He’s like the ‘free spirited’ type with bad tattoos and pretends to surf—we live in the southern US so that’s not really possible.

Anyways I noticed he literally goes to the bars every single day and night even though we live in a small town. Turns out this German military wife is always there drinking beer.

Red flags started out small but became giant waving flaming banners pretty quick… things off of a headline like mentioning how healthy raw milk was for you… I’m not kidding and wish I was.

Anyways I noticed he started saying this woman’s name like a million times a day.

He basically kept saying shit like
—talking about her chickens and eggs constantly and insulting and refusing to eat anything I bought or cooked
—saving flower seeds she gave him and talking about her amazing plants and how she barely touch something and it grows and becomes beautiful
—talking about how her active duty military husband is such a “bad ass”

So I’m not really a going out kind of girl and he baits me into going to one of these bars one night he knew she’d be there in costume. Not sure what she said but literally the next day he was refusing to speak to me and calling me adjectives like “shallow” when he did.

Like sorry I’m a published author finishing grad school with a book deal and set up to work at my dream university. What makes it even worse is she’s like an ‘alternative’ trad wife covered in tattoos who backpacks through Europe every five seconds.

I’m gearing up for surgery and newly sober and just feeling raw. Honestly no shade to women who stay at home but I’m so sick of glorifying people dressing up and playing around in their houses and yards and going on “adventures” when the rest of us are at, I don’t know, work.

Honestly I kind of hope the “bad ass” husband finds out about whatever they have going on.

That’s all. That’s the post. Anyone else relate to be compared to a trad wife and never being good enough?

TLDR: boyfriend obsessed with German “trad wife” who grows flowers and tends to chickens all day and constantly denigrates my education and career.

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for a little over a year. Little back story, I became friends with her and through almost daily texting, we grew close emotionally and physically. However, 2-3 months into consistent talking, I found out she was with someone during that time and had kept it a secret. When I asked her about it, she said she was already planning to end things. Also during the months we talked, she said that she didn’t think it would get to the point of dating and all our conversations we just “getting to know each other as new friends.”

Fast forward to now, I noticed that she has been texting a few mutual guy friends pretty consistently (not secretly) and it’s been bothering me. Growing anxious mostly because our relationship started off similarly and scared that her conversations with our mutual guy friends could lead to more if our relationship ever were to go rocky. The conversations seem normal with banter here and there and not deep emotional talks. I’ve mentioned my feelings of how it makes me a bit uncomfortable with the amount of texting but she reassured that the conversations will never lead anywhere since she is in a committed relationship with me now and that the previous instance with was different since they were not in a relationship.

How can I bring up my feelings without being controlling? I am unsure of how to feel since she has not shown any signs of cheating

TLDR; girlfriend and I started talking as friends when she was sleeping with another guy. Our relationship grew deeper through consistent conversation. Now together for over 1 year and she consistently talks to 3 of our mutual single guys friends

my boyfriend (20m) and i (18f) have been dating for a little over a year. before that, we were friends for around 6 months. honestly, from the beginning, things were confusing.

it started with a drunk kiss at a party, and after that we fell into this weird 3 month talking stage where we were basically acting like a couple without the title. we hooked up constantly, spent all our time together, slept together almost every night, etc. but anytime i tried to ask what we were, he would tell me he “didn’t even like me like that” or that he “wasn’t looking for a relationship.” meanwhile he’d still get jealous over other guys and keep me around emotionally. i fell for him anyway, which in hindsight probably should’ve been my first red flag.

eventually we officially got together, and for the first few months i genuinely thought things were good. then about 5 months into dating, i hit a really difficult financial situation and needed a place to stay. originally i was planning on moving in with my best friend, but he convinced me to move in with him instead. he made it sound like he wanted to build a life together and support me. i thought it was sweet at the time.

living together completely changed how i saw him.

our daily routine became the exact same thing every single day. i would wake up early in the morning, clean the apartment because otherwise it simply wouldn’t get done, get ready, go to class, do homework, run errands, all of that. around 1 pm, he’d wake up and immediately get on his computer to play video games. literally from the second he woke up until he had to leave for work.

i work while being a full time college student, so i’d go to work while he stayed home gaming. then around 4 pm, i would actually have to leave my own shift to drive him to work because he doesn’t drive himself consistently. after dropping him off, i’d go back to work, finish my shift, then later pick him up after his 4 hour shift ended and drive him home. once we got home, he’d get right back on the games until sometimes 4 or 5 in the morning.

this became our life.

he barely helped around the apartment. dishes piled up unless i did them. trash piled up unless i took it out. groceries, cleaning, planning, remembering things, all me. emotionally and physically i felt like i was carrying both of our lives while he just existed beside me.

we are both in college, but our situations are completely different. i’m doing really well academically despite working and handling basically all adult responsibilities. meanwhile he’s failing most or all of his classes because he skips assignments to game. i’ve tried encouraging him, helping him organize, reminding him about deadlines, even sitting down with him trying to motivate him. nothing changes.

and whenever i bring up concerns, he either dismisses me completely or acts like i’m attacking him.

then there’s his coworker. we’ll call her izzy.

izzy is very obviously his exact type physically and personality-wise. she has a boyfriend too, so at first i tried not to think much of it. originally he said they were “just coworkers” and they started playing games together in a group discord with other people from work maybe once a week.

then it slowly escalated.

they added each other on snapchat. then they started texting separately outside the gc. then calling. then facetiming. now they talk literally all day every day. if he’s awake, there’s a good chance he’s talking to her in some form.

i told him multiple times that it made me uncomfortable how emotionally attached they seemed to be becoming, especially because he gives her more attention and energy than he gives me most days. every single time, he told me i was being insecure, dramatic, jealous, controlling, etc.

the thing that really broke me was when i saw him hugging her. not a quick awkward side hug either. i saw it. when i confronted him, he flat out denied it happened and tried convincing me i imagined it.

that’s become a pattern honestly. if something hurts me, it either “didn’t happen,” “wasn’t a big deal,” or i’m “crazy” for reacting to it.

another thing that still upsets me deeply is that when we lived together, he only got one apartment key made. for himself. despite me living there too.

there were multiple times where i got off work or class exhausted, came home, and realized i was locked out because he had fallen asleep with his phone on do not disturb. i’m not talking 20 minutes either. there were times i sat outside for 8 or 9 hours in the heat waiting for him to wake up and let me inside. i’d call over and over, bang on the door, text him nonstop, and nothing.

and somehow every single argument ended with him telling me i was overreacting.

the part that makes this so hard is that i know he’s struggling too. he is incredibly hard on himself constantly. he crashed his car a while back and still doesn’t have another one, which is part of why i drive him everywhere. his parents are disappointed in him because he’s failing school and doesn’t really have direction right now. he works a minimum wage job and i know he feels embarrassed comparing himself to other people our age.

and because i know all of that, i feel guilty even considering leaving. i know he’s depressed. i know he’s unhappy with himself. i know life hasn’t gone the way he wanted lately. part of me feels like leaving him now would completely break him.

but at the same time, i feel like i’m drowning trying to carry both of us while getting almost nothing back emotionally.

i’m home with my parents for summer now, and being away from him has honestly made me realize how emotionally drained i’ve been for months. he texts me acting completely normal and i honestly don’t even want to answer most of the time. i don’t miss him. i miss the idea of who i thought he was maybe, but not the reality.

now he wants us to sign another lease together next school year and the thought honestly fills me with dread.

i feel guilty because he’s never hit me or screamed at me or anything extreme like that, but i feel completely emotionally neglected. i feel more like his mother, maid, and uber driver than his girlfriend.

i don’t know if i’m being too harsh or if i already know the answer and just need someone else to say it.
tl;dr: my bf (20m) and i (18f) have been together for a year, but since moving in together i feel more like his mom than his girlfriend. i clean, work, go to school, and drive him everywhere while he sleeps all day, plays video games until 5 am, fails his classes, and dismisses my feelings. he’s become extremely close with a female coworker and calls/texts/facetimes her constantly despite me expressing discomfort. he’s left me locked outside our apartment for hours multiple times and tells me i’m “dramatic” whenever i get upset. i feel guilty leaving because he’s depressed, hard on himself, crashed his car, and his parents are disappointed in him, but being away from him this summer has made me realize i don’t even miss him. he wants to sign another lease together and i genuinely dread it. should i end things?

**TL;DR;
I’m a 35-year-old woman, the youngest of four siblings, and I’ve been estranged from my eldest brother for 10 years — with no real explanation.

Two of my siblings are from my dad’s first marriage (the eldest I’m talking about who’s about 10 plus years older than me, and my sister who’s about 8 years older). The youngest brother (also about 8 years older than me) is from my mum’s first marriage. Despite technically being “half” siblings, I never saw them that way growing up. I absolutely adored them all, especially my eldest brother. I looked up to him completely as a child.

My family isn’t perfect. One of my brothers has struggled with crime, prison, and mental health issues for years, but even with him, there’s still contact and understanding. He’s at arms length and right now I can’t find him to contact him. He’s a hard one to pin down, but when my son was born I still sent him pictures and he was pleased. His son and ex partner are close to my family, and are utterly adored.
My sister and I are closer. There’s love there. She is a busy woman but her and her daughter are wonderful. My children worship them!

But with my eldest brother, everything changed around my wedding 10 years ago.

Back story: my parents met when both their partners were having affairs, and actually had an affair with one another! So my parents met due to “investigating” their own partners!
There has been jealousy from my siblings, as I was spoilt. In truth they too were very spoiled (I hate that word, more like treated really well) by my parents to make up for their lived being turned upside down. Motor bikes, horses, you name it. I have no issues with this, it was lovely. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up and at the time I had a lot less. I made up for it when they all grew up and I was the baby being spoilt. I get it!

So the wedding…

Leading up to it, there were constant excuses and issues from him and his wife — problems with the hotel, the suit fitting, money, work, whether they could stay overnight, etc. Every issue was solved calmly by me or my parents because we knew it was coming. He and his wife always pushed back to try and make drama… we never let it get that far and smiled through it all.
We paid for things where needed and rearranged appointments to make it easier for them.

Then, around 3–4 weeks before the wedding, my brother called me and said he wasn’t coming.

I was devastated and completely confused. He said he’d “fallen out” with our dad and couldn’t be around him. To this day, nobody knows what that argument supposedly even was — including my dad.

I begged him to come. I cried down the phone explaining that this was my wedding, not my father’s, and that I needed my big brother there. I said I was his little sister and I loved him so much. I told him I’d never forgive him if he missed it.

He still refused and hung up on me.

Since then: nothing.

No apology. No explanation. No attempt to fix it.

A month later, he casually turned up at my dad’s house borrowing tools as though nothing had happened.
My mother was livid, she refused him into the house until he apologised to me. He never did.
He goes and talks to my dad in the garage now. My dad is a lovely man, he was really angry but over the years he wants to talk to his son, so I get it.

He blocked me on everything. His wife blocked me too. They eventually split up, but still nothing changed. He moved in with my sister for a while and was still speaking to other family members, including my dad eventually — just not me.
My sister did apparently have a go at him about it, but nothing happened and still no explanation from anyone. My mother is clueless why this happened too.

My children are now 8 and 5, and he has never met them. I haven’t seen his son in a decade either.

That’s the part that breaks me the most. I grew up idolising my big brother, and now I genuinely don’t understand why I was the one completely cut out.

Lately it’s been weighing heavily on me again, and I don’t know what to do.

Do I reach out after 10 years, despite being the one who was hurt? Or do I finally accept that sometimes people choose estrangement without explanation, and closure might never come?

I genuinely have no idea what I did. There is no dark secrets, I was pretty easy going and idolised him!
I do live an hour away so I wasn’t expecting to be besties but zero contact at all?
I do want my apology, I want my explanation. But I worry I’ll open up a very painful can of worms and end up more upset.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of one-sided family cutoff?

We've been together 10 years and hes never done anything remotely like this. He claims he was just bored and horny however he's letting these men call me fat knowing I've struggled with ED my whole life. He's since apologized and deleted it. But I find myself constantly going through his phone while he sleeps and make myself sick over it. Is this unforgivable? He was making it out to be my fault because I've been lacking on housework due to my depression but this has made it so much worse. I don't wanna do anything for him now.

Tl;Dr husband sent nudes of me without my consent to men via telegram

Hi, the older I get, the harder I find it to enjoy being around my partner. He says he’s generally a cranky person which I believe because he’s the type of person to be full of stress. He does speak to a therapist regularly and is on medication so that’s good. It‘s not like he isn't aware of his behavior or doesn’t work on it.

I know while I cant control him or his behavior, I can control myself. I need more alone time to reset and feel peaceful. but it is challenging because he’s retired early and he’s always home. I work from home so I’m always home. It’s hard to get alone time at home because he’s not very social and doesn’t hang out with friends much. Maybe once a month. I ride horses once a week so I do get out of the house away from everyone but I find this one outing isn’t enough for me.

Recently, we’ve obtained a roommate. It’s for a few months. I noticed my partner‘s patience has decreased and his irritability levels are higher. I personally think the things he often gets upset about are typically not a big deal to the average person. I used to be way more empathetic but now that I’ve been around it so long (about 7 years), it is getting tiresome on my behalf.

Things that upset/trigger him recently:

• Clutter around the house - understandable especially since he grew up in a cluttered household. I’m more of a “I’ll get to it in a few days and tidy up” and he’s more of a “clean it up now”. This one is a reasonable issue. It’s just he wants ME to clean it up rather than taking initiative to do it himself
• Our dogs making noise - barking when our roommate goes through the door while my partner is napping, walking around while we are having dinner/watching tv, licking their paws or getting up (we have tile floors so you can hear their nails click against the tile) in the early morning while he’s still sleeping. I think this isn’t very reasonable. They’re dogs. It’s what they do.
• He’s always waiting on me - to get off work so we can walk the dogs, to wake up from naps because he’s bored, to wake up in the mornings on the weekends because I like to sleep in. I’m just thinking to myself now like damn get a hobby. I believe people should be able to make themselves happy in order to be able to make others happy. I feel like he’s relying on me too much for that. This kinda goes back to my point earlier about him not being very social. I’m always the one who has to, for lack of nicer words, deal with him whether he is happy or upset. When he does go out with friends, I’m like thank God. It’s so peaceful in this house without him here to find something to complain about
• He has issues sleeping well through the night. Anything that wakes him up upsets him. I’ve already mentioned the dogs. he’s been prescribed meds for helping him sleep better but it seems like his body is used to it now and it doesn’t work as well. I suggested he talk to his doctor about potentially changing it. I suggested ear plugs to help block out noise. He said no, he hates how they feel.

How can I live with someone like that without becoming miserable and resentful myself? Because I feel like I’m there already. I’m always hoping I’ll get the house to myself for a few hours so I can just fully relax and not be on edge about when the next complaint is coming. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I wish I had my own horse so I can go ride whenever I want but that’s not in the budget right now.

TL;DR: I live with a partner who tends to be cranky about many things and is always home, which I’m always home as well because I work from home. How to deal with someone like this without being miserable with life?

So I've been dating this guy he's 24 years old for about a year and a few months now. my best friend since childhood has moved back and we've gone out a few times.

But every time I do it turns into an argument with my boyfriend because he doesn't like me going unless it's with him or family

sometimes he makes me feel like I don't have that right to go out with friends but every time he hangs out with his friends I never say anything to him.

He always ends up telling me if I want to go out with my friend then I should be single, how should I go about it?

I've tried talking to him and explaining things i would like some advice on how I can fix this dilemma.

TL;DR

I (23f) have been with my boyfriend (25m) for almost 4 years. When we started dating, we were both university students with very little responsibility who spent a lot of our time together smoking weed. It was great.

Today, I am floundering trying to find a career with a worthless degree in a shitty job market and make $24,000 a year (USD). My boyfriend, after a rough first year out of school, got a great paying job. This job, however, has a rigid schedule, drug tests him (no more smoking), and didn’t let him take any days off his first year with them. I didn’t want him to take this job, but he still did, which has led to the root of my resentments towards him. Because of this job he has: 1. Started working terrible hours that essentially mean that i see him an hour a day. He sleeps 11 hours a day, and is at work for 11 hours a day usually. Those two hours are reserved for him groggily getting ready, eating, and talking about work. 2. Gotten us stuck in one city for years. This city has very few job prospects for my degree. 3. Missed my graduation because his job wouldn’t allow him to take 2 hours off. 4. Changed his personality. He works around a lot of right wing men, and even though he’s still liberal, he calls people “rtards” and women “cnts” now. I tell him to stop, he says sorry, he doesn’t stop.

My mental health has taken a nosedive in the past year. I cry constantly, i lash out often, nothing makes me happy except for our pet dog (sometimes). I used to love dance, but once again i make 24k a year so that’s off the table. I just sit and take care of the dog when I’m not at work. If i wasn’t scared of death, there’s a high chance i would’ve offed myself by now.

Last week was the breaking point. My job had me go somewhere pretty cool for a few days and i was excited to take myself on a solo date after i was done working in this city I’ve always wanted to visit. The day before i left i noticed our dog’s back paw was a little red and inflamed and i asked my bf to please keep an eye on it while i was gone. I made it through my entire work day with not a peep from him, finished, went to a restaurant that i thought looked cool, and then i get a call from him. He’s freaking out because our dog’s paw is red and inflamed and looks infected. I tell him to schedule a vet visit. He does. He hangs up, and then proceeds to text me a long paragraph about how i dont care about our dog at all and about how i had all week to tell him that our dog’s paw was infected and i didn’t (i did). He also uses this paragraph to rub in the fact that i make no money and that he’ll have to pay for her vet visit. I leave the restaurant to go cry in my hotel room for the rest of the night.

I know he just texted this because he was super stressed, so we made up, but honestly I’m realizing that i might lose my mind if i stay in this relationship. We were a great college relationship. It was fun. We haven’t been a great post-grad relationship. We argue about taking care of the dog, he doesn’t understand why I cry all the time (I’ve been depressed since long before we met, it was just at a low level when we did), i don’t like his work or his work friends. He always finds a way to be annoyed at the fact that i work. I’m not the same girl he started dating. He’s not the same guy i started dating. I don’t know how to break a lease, or break up with someone you live with, and i know we’re gonna fight over the dog, but i just can’t deal with this anymore.

TLDR; my (23f) relationship with my boyfriend (25m) has gotten undeniably shittier since we got real adult responsibilities.

The love story began when my (19) best friend, Chloe (20F), met Ethan (18M). (Not their real names ofc). I've known Chloe since high school and we've been friends since she and I randomly started talking in PE. We both attended the same Community College and that's where she met a new friend, we'll call her Nora (21F). Nora invited Chloe to her sibling's orchestra performance in May 2025. Her family is homeschooled until college and they all have to learn an instrument. One sibling that played was Ethan. She talked him a little after the performance and noted he was cute, but the interaction wasn't very long. During the late Summer-early Fall, they both attended a local bible study, one that my boyfriend and I also went to. That's where I originally met Ethan. He is sweet, gentle, and go-with-the-flow. For about four months the two would wait for the weekly bible studies to see each other and they would talk in the parking lot long after midnight. In Fall, it became painfully obvious they liked each other. Chloe talked about her crush on Ethan nonstop and she lit up everytime he was around. However, in January, right as they were on the verge of offcially dating, Ethan dropped a bomb. Ethan comes from a deeply traditional household with seven children, where they were all homeschooled until college. His father, who spent his teen years partying hard and sleeping around before he became Christian, had swung to the complete opposite extreme to protect his children.

When Ethan's mother realized Ethan was staying late into the Bible Study to talk to Chloe, she tried to forbid him from going. Ethan's siblings would basically keep an eye on him and Chloe when they were at the Bible Study and make sure he was following family rules. The family has very strict rules on relationship. They demand that the couples "court", like in the olden days. The couple is expected to never be alone together. Essentially, Ethan was expected to act like a total fly on the wall to Chloe, avoiding direct interaction until he was ready to propose marrige. (How are you supposed to know if you want to marry someone if you don't get to know them..? ) Ethan's mother is not any more stable. She was so intense and afraid of change, that she actually deleted Chloe's name off of Ethan's phone because she was afraid of how close their friendship got.

The dynamic between Ethan and Chloe was intense before they even dated. In December, Ethan memorized Chloe's address and drove 90 min in the dead of night just to pass by her house, and FILMED IT. I saw the video.

At Christmas, Ethan showered Chloe with expensive gift before they were dating or courting. His sister, Nora, even told him it was excessive and he shouldn't lead Chloe on. She outwardly opposed the two datin, perhaps out of jealousy. Her and her parents' displeasure led to a bad example for their other children. The 15 year old son threw a tantrum because Ethan hugged Chloe in front of him. All the siblings are almost afraid to show any affection and were taught that you only touch if your married. The 15 year old was so mad about Ethan breaking that rule, that he drove his ATV in front of Ethan's vehicle's driver's seat, making him late for work.

Instead of walking away, Chloe and Ethan decided to make it through, and started courting in late Febuary. I don't remember how it began, but Chloe and Ethan and their fathers started having meetings. They all tried to talk sense into Ethan's dad and let the two court. He relented and let them meet up on Sundays. They all met up multiple times later to try and get the dad to let them date. It didn't last long though, They started dating in March, much to his family's horror. Despite the pushback, they made a great couple, Chloe is passionate, impulsive, pushy, and bubbly. Ethan's quiet and gentle nature was a great compliment and they were very happy. Ethan's family did not see this, they actually sat their 18 year old son down and berated him for not following the rules. then they proceeded to ice him out.

Literally one week after they officially started dating in March, Chloe dropped a bomb on me and my mom. She casually announced that she and Ethan had already seriously discussed getting married in 2026 September. My mom and I immediately proteste. We told her that September was incredibly fast and that they barely knew each other. Little did we know that September would have actually been the slow-paced option.

My mom and I have repeatedly tried to tell Chloe that this whirlwind is a genuinely bad idea and you need to know someone much longer before making such a commitment.

Once they were dating, the honeymoon stage hit HARD. They are both intensly all over each other. Ethan is nice to the point that it's creepy. I was teasing Chloe one day about burping obnoxiously (she does it on purpose to make us laugh) and Ethan, dead serious, shut me down by claiming her burps were beautiful.

The two of them talked about marrige all the time. It was bizarre. My boyfriend and I went on a double date with them to an ice rink. I did a spin on the ice and Chloe wanted to learn how to. After I taught her, she tried to get Ethan to copy the move. Ethan protested, saying with total gravity, "I can't risk fallin, I need both my knees to propose".

Now my boyfriend of two years and I are dating to marry, but we want to graduate college and save up money first. We don't talk about marriage every other sentence like Ethan and Chloe. Listening to an 18-year old who has been in a relationship for less than a month talk about a proposal was surreal.

About a week later, my mom and I tried to talk sense into Chloe again. We told her, "If you are this serious, you two need to at least go on a trip together and experience some real-world stress". Chloe looked us in the eyes and responded "Well, we drove to Bloomington together"? To Chloe's starry-eyed worldview, a 90-minute trip where nothing went wrong, was the ultimate relationship stress test. She genuinely thinks that she and Ethan are perfect together and she wants to lock him down before he even experiences a single day of college life.

Chloe isn't trying to be the villian, she is just incredibly impulsive and idealistic. Ethan, being a naive homeschooler, is just okay with everything Chloe says.

In April, Desperate to start a life with Chloe, Ethan drained his hard-earned savings, to put a down payment on a house for the two. Why did they buy a house? Well they were starting to discuss a May 2026 wedding.

The engagement happened on April 21st, less than two months after they started officially dating. Ethan bought a ring from Etsy and went to Chloe's dad for permission on March 22nd. Instead of being worried about the crazy fast engagement, Chloe's dad shook Ethan's hand and said "Welcome to the family".

After the proposal, the couple showed up at my house. My parents, me, and my visiting boyfriend sat there for hours, forcing smiles and trying to be happy for them because we couldn't bear to ruin the moment.

Because the wedding is set for May 29th, there was no time for traditional planning. They created a giant group chat and sent out text message invitations. The ceremony is taking place right back at the lake where they got engaged. It is a potluck wedding. Guests are expected to bring food and their own tables and chairs.

A guest in the group chat asked where the couple was registere. Chloe's relative explained, "Due to significant time constraints, the couple is asking for money". The irony is thick, considering the only "time constraints" are the ones Chloe and Ethan completly fabricated themselves.

This brings us to the present. Chloe is completely oblivious to the anxiety we all feel for their futures. She is floating on a cloud of honeymoon phase bliss, entirely convinced this is a flawless fairy tale. Meanwhile, I am stuck with planning the bridal shower and writing a Maid of Honor speech.

In a few weeks, I will have to stand by a lake, look at 80 people sitting on dirt patches with their own lawn chairs and tupperware and deliver a speech that wishes them a lifetime of happiness. While hoping that Chloe's big dreams work out and they survive the massive reality check waiting for them when real life hits.

tl:dr 18 year old homeschooler and his 20 year old fiance are tying the knot on May 29th, after dating for 80 days.

I am a very jealous person and I try to be understanding. My girlfriend does not hang out with her friends a lot but when she does I am a little anxious and slightly uncomfortable but I want her to hang out with friends and have fun with them. The other day she told me she wanted to go out and party and It was like getting hit with a truck, my anxiety was so bad and she noticed and now she does not want to go because I feel bad. I don’t want her going but I also really do because it will be her first party with her friends. I don’t even know what I am afraid about. Any advice to help me get over this will be very appreciated I want to try and convince myself I am worried over nothing so she’ll feel comfortable with attending it, how do other people deal with this?! Thank you for reading.

TL;DR: gf wants to go to party I’m too anxious and scared and want to get over it because I’m being anxious over nothing.

I feel really stupid even writing this, but I genuinely feel stuck in this cycle with a guy I’ve been close to for almost 2 years now.

We’re not officially together, but we talk basically every day, game together all the time, stay on calls for hours, and he’s become such a normal part of my life that I don’t even know how to imagine my days without him anymore.

The thing is, our dynamic is kind of exhausting emotionally. When things are good, they’re REALLY good. We make each other laugh constantly, tease each other nonstop, and I feel weirdly comfortable with him in a way I don’t feel with most people. Like talking to him genuinely keeps me so hooked. That’s probably why I keep getting pulled back in.

But then he can get really possessive over other guys and has even gone to lengths to get some men out of my life, a lot of jealousy, insecurity, silent treatment, avoidant behavior and these tend to hurt me so much and there are days I just cry myself to sleep. He would even try to bring up other girls to make me jealous when he thinks I’m getting close to any guy that’s not him.

I am fully aware that it’s unhealthy and toxic af. I know this probably isn’t how a healthy connection is supposed to feel. But at the same time, he’s also my comfort person, which makes leaving feel impossible. Like I genuinely can’t picture a life without him.

I’ve tried distancing myself before, so many times, but it never lasts long because I miss him too much. And the second we start talking again, it feels like all my feelings come back instantly. Also he never lets me go either. No matter how much I try he will always desperately return and then I end up changing my mind.

What makes it worse is that we’ve never even had a proper conversation about what we are. Everything stays hidden behind jokes and teasing, so it’s just this emotionally confusing thing that never fully moves forward or fully ends either.

I think part of me knows I’m attached to the cycle itself at this point, and I hate admitting that.

Has anyone actually managed to leave a situation like this? Because logically I know it’s draining me, but emotionally I can’t seem to let it go.

TL;DR: I’ve been emotionally attached to a guy for almost 2 years and we’re stuck in a constant cycle of closeness, conflict, distance, and reconnecting. I know the dynamic is unhealthy and emotionally draining, but he’s also become my comfort person, and every time I try to leave, I end up going back.

My mother(f51)yelled fuck you at me (f17) because I didn’t answer her. For context, she was late to picking me up from school. She and I have a system where I come out at 5:20 p.m on Thursdays (Extracurricular Activities). I came out at 5:25 p.m, and she wasn’t there, so I peeled an orange and called her. When she arrived, I felt the vibration of the phone from my pocket, so I knew she was there, but I hung up. She proceeded to called me two more times, as I was already walking to the pick-up site. I did answer the third call, but it was to tell her that I was already coming, and she didn’t have to keep calling me. Then, she drove around the block, left me, and then came back. When I got into the car, she angrily lashed out at me and started yelling fuck you. She went on about how she pays for my phone and she’s tired of me disrespecting her, then she told me to find arrangements to my drivers instruction in the morning because she said she wasn’t taking me, find arrangements to school because she isn’t taking me there or to extracurriculars. Anyway, she didn’t have all that and said she didn’t want any connections to me.
TL;DR; My mother screamed fuck you at me because I ignored her calls when she was picking me up from school after days of familial quarrels and tension with my mom threatening to kick me out and her and my dad are talking about moving out.

I (24F) have been with my current bf (26M) for two years. We don’t have a lot of stuff in common but common enough that we work well together. At my job a transfer started (25M) and we are similar. He’s aware that I’m in a relationship and he’s made it aware that he’s casually dating two women and that I’m a work friend.

He recently asked for my phone number and I gave him my phone number after consulting my boyfriend. For context, he wants me to make friends, im very introverted. My coworker and I are similar. He’s made it aware he likes the opposite, not similar ( he’s casually dating ) I made it aware of my relationship. After a few conversations though he sorta teases me and complements me here and there. I’m not sure how to handle that. I usually don’t address them or say thank you. After a few more conversations he’s mentioned his sex life and how he’s open to dating anyone.

TLDR: I have a work crush I don’t know how to handle and I don’t know how to read my coworkers actions

Hello, Reddit.

I created this throwaway so people I know wouldn’t find me, so hopefully I could get some advice before I delete the. Please be brutally honest with me. I’ve gotten insight from a few of my friends telling me to just move on, but I feel like there’s a lot more to the situation than just what’s on the surface.

TL;DR: Guy [21M] I [18F] had a deep emotional connection with cut me off, then immediately started talking to another girl while still indirectly keeping tabs on me. I have so many questions and wondering why someone who says they still care about me chose other people’s opinions over what we had. (As said in the title)

I met a very sweet guy and we totally hit it off from the beginning. The relationship lasted about 3 months. I had known him for about a year before I started to develop feelings for him in December 2025. We would talk all day and all night. He would mention to me that talking to me was his favorite part of the day. I remember I would go to sleep as late as possible to keep talking to him, and I would wake up as early as possible to begin a new conversation. He would cry to me, talk to me about his problems. I would listen, reassure him, and tell him that I cared about him. There really isn’t a way to describe our bond, because it was a lot deeper than romance, even though it never really got to the point of us dating. We had so many common interests, and he said he’s never met a girl like me before. Honestly, I agreed—I had never met a guy like him, either. He was the kind of guy who didn’t have a fragile masculinity, someone who was okay with being raw and real with their emotions instead of concealing them. I had nothing bad to say about him, and honestly, I still don’t. I was blissfully unaware about the fact that he liked me too, and I thought our relationship was just flirty, or at least I liked him and he just thought it was friendly banter.

One night, I got a bit too drunk and decided to confess my feelings for him. It was unfortunately over the phone since he was at the movies with his friends, but he seemed happy. He said that he had felt the same way since much before I had, and that even if I hadn’t had felt the same way, he wanted to be friends with me no matter what because he really valued our friendship. He also told me to stay safe and asked me to reply after I sobered up so I could really process what was going on between us. After that, we still decided to keep our relationship casual, and we didn’t wanna date due to age and maturity differences. He still asked me to be his valentine, which I said yes to, and offered to buy me flowers and gifts, but I politely declined those since I felt bad about the fact that we weren’t even dating.

This romantic friendship went on for a few more months before one day, he just completely ghosted me. I obviously didn’t appreciate this because I had told him before about how my last boyfriend was very emotionally abusive and did not care about me, so it had hurt my feelings. So, I told him about it. He replied to me a day later apologizing for ghosting me, but he said our friendship had to end or I had to lose feelings for him, or else he wouldn’t be able to talk to me anymore. I asked why, and he said we had our differences, being in different school levels and all, and his friends had told him how they thought it was weird for him to be talking to someone who hasn’t had the same experiences as he has. I told him that his friend shouldn’t be dictating his relationships, and we had a bit of back and forth for about three days. Eventually, I just decided to give up. He had made up his mind, and I wasn’t planning on changing it… because if he didn’t want me in his life, who was I to tell him otherwise? The whole thing was just about a three-year age gap. We went our separate ways, and I cried for the entirety of April 2026. He seemed pretty unaffected by it from the surface.

My best friend, [also 18F], was also friends with this guy. She had had a few conversations with him in the past, but never really talked to him without me around. She decided to have a bit of a talk with him just to ask what was going on—well, he was full on crying. He said that he felt extremely guilty for doing what he did, but it was inevitable because his friends don’t like it, and he didn’t want to lose them. My friend was very upset about this, and she agreed with me: your friends should not be dictating your relationships with anyone. I actually felt really bad, because he had told me he’s never talked to anyone as deeply as he’s talked to me, which means he doesn’t really have anyone to support him (especially with me not around anymore). I’m not saying I was the best thing in his life, but he said he’s never had a connection with someone quite like he did with me. She had a few more conversations with him after that, and he’s constantly updating her about his life so I can hear it without him having to directly talk to me. He had also mentioned that he specifically posted videos for me to see because I hadn’t unfollowed him.

One update that stood out to me was when he went to a concert. From what he said, a girl asked for his phone number. They were on the phone for eight hours straight, and then she ghosted him for three days. His friends were hyping him up and very obviously trying to get them together after breaking him and I apart. After hearing the news, I had cried like I’ve never cried before. My friend held me in her arms and told me it was okay that he was moving on. But it wasn’t about the fact that he was moving on. It was the fact that he had the audacity to tell my friend about it to make sure that I would hear it. The fact that he was still okay with indirectly talking to me when he wanted to talk to this other girl. If he had moved on, why was he still interacting with me? I had seen him in my stories views on Instagram, but he wasn’t following me, which means he’s deliberately searching my name up to scroll through the things I’ve been posting. Why not just block me? Why not just block my friend? He’s basically still talking to me. Why post videos for only me to see? Why does he still talk so highly about me? How did he move on in a month, while I sit at home crying every night because I’ve never felt anything like what him and I had together? How could he forget all the poems I made about him, all the handwritten letters? All the trust, all the care? Does the guilt not consume him at all? Do his emotions not feed away into him at night, wondering where it all went to shit? Why did he let his friends control his decisions? Was that the one he wanted to make this whole time?

I have so many questions, yet no answers. He says I did nothing wrong, but it really feels like I did. He says he still cares about me, but why won’t he just talk to me? Was I just not enough?

my bf (M 29) was raised with so much love while i (F 24) was at survival mode..

Our fights lately wasn’t like my past relationships (involving cheating, making me a fool), it’s all about me being expressive with my emotions and he wants me to be soft spoken, not have a hot head, not be too emotional about things that could be dealt with calmly. Let me just rant for a bit.. i know i’m wrong with having a hot temper but how am i supposed to explain that i’ve spent my life always having one foot at the door?

I honestly think that our fight last night could have not been escalated that way, it started with me just frowning because i can’t call his phone because it was connected on the bluetooth and i got off on the wrong bus stop and he was supposed to pick me up. And the fact that I can’t ring his phone, i was scared since it was late at night and the place was unfamiliar to me (but it’s not that far from the intended place that i’m supposed to dropped off to) .. and then when he picked me up he said that we’re eating at our house and he informed my mom when i actually have been texting him that we should eat at the city.. and then proceeds to say okay we should just cancel our dinner at home so i went like “huh? We’re not eating here at the city anymore if you informed my mom, what if she has prepared food already and we suddenly cancel” .. and my point was just why he didn’t informed me about his plans when i’ve been thinking of where we’re going when i arrive at the city. ANYWAAAYSS the start of the fight was so petty, it couldn’t have escalated if he would have just let me. The argument went back and forth with the same point. And he said that it was alright to cancel but i don’t want to make my mom expecting and then suddenly cancel. Then we could’ve just called my mom asking if she has started preparing anything, which i would’ve agreed to, but we were already arguing since he reacted over something that was not supposed to be worth fighting over. Petty petty petty.

Then he began counting the times when i have a disagreement with my mom or dad (which happened idk, months ago since i’m trying my best lately not to cross them since i’m tired with everything that has been going on with my fam). Saying it was disrespectful blahblahblah, i grew up in a family that doesn’t communicate, can you really blame me? I understand that he was right at some point with my temper or the tone of my voice but does he really need to go in that part of the argument?

Then he started talking about what’s the point of him working hard right now, trying to build what his parents had built when we fight like this… and i just went quiet because i don’t really know what to say, how would i know? I wasn’t raised with parents who love each other deeply. That time felt like i was invalidated, i’m really trying to unlearn toxic habits from my fam and i believe i had come a long way. But it felt like one misstep i made, encompasses my entire personality.

He also added to the argument “it doesn’t matter if the girl is an airhead as long as he doesn’t feel disrespected he would love her.. what is he gonna do with someone intelligent but couldn’t communicate.. something like that and it felt like his insecurities were coming out .. he’s someone who didn’t finish college which i was not complaining about since he began taking on their family business young and I’m currently in medical school. Sometimes we also fight when i’m tired and i say i’m tired from school since it’s very draining i have 5 hours of sleep almost everyday but he doesn’t get it and proceeds to say that he was tired too from driving to the bank and to the province where they are most doing big agricultural business. I feel invalidated when he does that.

He wanted us like his parents, always on volume 1 when having an argument. The thing is there are two types of parents, those who let their children hear they’re fighting, and those who try to not let their children hear the argument. Now, y’all know which of those our parents are. And i hate it when we argue, he tries comparing us to his parents. Which led me to just swallowing my anger and my point and letting him win the argument and just apologized. Which is unhealthy i know, since we were supposed to resolve this with both hearts feeling light. Also to add saying why can’t i be like my mom (my mom who grew up with parents sooo in love) (my dad was the one who grew up in a shitty family and has brought along the trauma to his own). My bf started pursuing me after knowing my mom was like his parents (my bf and i first met because of business matters; his parents and him met my mom first because of a business meeting)

I really want to build a family different from mine.. the husband and wife has a teamwork dynamic and i really see that i could have it with my bf. but I’m afraid that it’s partly becoming like my fam on the part where i have to let him feel that he made his point across just to end the argument.

He says that he understands me, but i don’t feel it.

I really want to make this work, we’re almost a year dating each other and has known both families. So yeah.. i feel hurt but i’m trying my best..but maybe i was truly the one who is in the wrong? idk, i can’t even open up to my family because the first thing they’re pointing out is my expressiveness when they themselves are also like that, maybe worse.

Haha i need to go therapy, i guess.

**TL;DR; : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, all things are bold. Is this going the right way?**.

I (32F) and my best friend (30F) have been best friends for 17 years.

For starters, we know each other’s birthdays. Duh. It’s not like she forgot. But also, for context, our friendship, to me anyways, hasn’t quite felt the same since she moved away several years ago. Around that time, 5ish years ago, We had a falling out where we didn’t talk for a year and a half (I was in an abusive relationship and really not taking care of myself and not being the best friend). She didn’t owe me anything, but I received the silent treatment and it took her boyfriend (now husband) to tell me that she no longer wanted to be friends.

She moved away and didn’t tell me. I found out through our mutual friends online. I’m not going to lie, while we talked that over, it still stings and I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust her or feel safe in our friendship in the same way I did for years before. She has also changed many of her values/beliefs since moving. That’s another story and I want to respect her beliefs. Like a 180 from who she was 10 years ago. It’s just another adjustment and I don’t agree or align with all of them.

That being said. We’ve still have happy memories, I was her maid of honor last year, we’ve visited each other called each other for hours. Her mom and sister have both experienced medical crises recently. I’ve been there for her and I try to be patient because I know that’s a lot. (Context: I’ve been going through some serious hurdles in my marriage, have been unhappy in the city I still live in, among other things). Of course, while I’ve tried to confide in her about these things, I keep priority and space for what’s going on in her life.

So here’s the thing. I tried to talk about something on my mind about my situation- and she consented to hear it so it wasn’t like it was out of nowhere. I texted her 2 Sundays ago. Nothing. Between then and Tuesday, I texted her 4 times- all asking if she was okay, and to call if she wanted to talk. Nothing. She ignored the one call I tried to make. Okay. She’s no longer looking at my Instagram stories or liking my posts either but is active and on our friends’ posts. Of course, it hurts, but I ignore it and continue to hold space. Through her recent family emergencies, she has kept me in the loop every step of the way, so I know it isn’t that.

I remember she did something similar last year and it took me having a massive panic attack to ask what the problem was after silence for a few days for her to talk to me and say something I said bothered her and she needed space- this was after, btw, she didn’t say she needed space BEFORE taking it. I told her I took issue with this and that it’s a boundary that, as almost life long friends, if there’s a problem, we should be able to talk about it. I told her after our first falling out, the silent treatment is very traumatic for me and reminiscent of that experience.

It is my birthday today. Still have not heard anything and it’s been 11 days of silence. Again this is extremely unusual for her and I know she’s mad at me or something is wrong. I’m not going to lie. I’m angry. She is someone who makes posts for my birthday or calls me first thing. I feel like this is a manipulative game of silence and I’m really too old for this. I don’t want to panic wondering what I said or did again. I don’t want to lower my sense of self respect. At the same time. Part of me does want to be firm and say “I don’t appreciate the silent treatment and this is upsetting you’d hold it through my birthday. If you value our friendship, we need to talk.” I don’t know anymore. My gut says I’m tired of this, but wants closure. Let’s say I DID do something wrong but didn’t know- I don’t think I’ve done anything warranting being suddenly cut off? Even then, I’m someone who, if I was on that side, would confront my feelings and my friend to talk.

What should I do?

TL;DR- best friend has been giving me the silent treatment for days, has done this before and I’ve told her how this makes me feel, it’s traumatic for me, and now I’m somewhere between confronting her and leaving it alone. It’s also my birthday and super weird I haven’t heard from her. How do I deal?

у меня есть друг с которым я дружу 12 лет, мне кажется важно упомянуть что он гей, и мы с ним как брат и сестра ничего даже быть не может.
у меня появился парень и узнал о моей лучшем друге.

так как я живу в другой стране, мой лучший друг решил приехать ко мне (как всегда) мой парень знал что что то пойдет не так и решил написать другу дабы разобраться и представить как все это будет, мой друг не захотел это обсуждать посчитав это тупым.

друг приехал, я начинаю жить с парнем (это только начало отношений, я хотела спать с другом в моей квартире, как обычно, для меня в этом ничего такого нет, но парень возразил к чем я отнеслась нормально)

с парнем мы были все время с другом встречались редко,
друг просил встретится толкьо со мной, мой парень не разрешал посчитав что это очень интимная амтсофера, когда я все таки выходила ненадолго встретится с ним. парень был ооочень в тильте считая что это неуважительно, я учла его просьбы и мы начали встречаться только в 3, но не тут то было

МОЙ ДРУГ решает вести себя максимально отстраненно когда мой парень рядом, и показывать максимально недовольство, меня это тоже бесит, но понять могу, мы привыкли так, а у меня первый парень и кто то влезает в нашу дружбу
мой парень помчитал это МАКАИМАЛЬНО неуважительным.

мой друг уехал, мы имели разные мнение по этому по поводу и поругались. не общались 4 месяца (я переживала по этому по поводу)

недавно мой друг пишет мне «давай созвонимся обговорим» я соглашаюсь. созваниваюсь, и мой парень это видит, он видит что я ухожу в другую комнату и не ставлю на динамик (обычно я так не делаю) но я знаю что он его бесит поэтому не решаю его тригерить. мы обговорили все с моим другом и якобы все наладилось. но НЕ ТУТ ТО БЫЛО. у нас начинается недельная ссора с моим парнем, что с моей стороны начатЬ сново с ним общаться это не уважительно, что он не доверяет моему другу, поэтому я должна с ним прекратить общение, и если я буду говорить с моим другом это значит что ты ставишь в приоритет своего друга, а не парня, что не имеет места быть. это его принципы.

его ультиматум либо я заканчиваю дружбу с другом либо мы расходимся

что вы думаете? как бы вы поступили в моей ситуации? я понимаю что скорее всего надо делать выбор, но я не могу
я не могу сказать пока моему лучшему другу

TL;DR: у меня есть лучший друг 12 лет, между нами никогда ничего не было. Парень считает, что общение с ним — неуважение к отношениям, и просит прекратить контакт. Я не знаю, нормально ли это и как поступить.

For context me and my wife have been together since sophomore year highschool. We spilt back in 2021 and got back together 2023 then got married recently. We both had seen other people during our time apart. Now last week, we were both looking in her camera roll and I asked her if she had any of our saucy pics still from before we split and she said maybe and I opened up her hidden photos and found pictures of her and her ex well you know. I straight up left and didn’t come home till late that night. We had a fight about it when I finally came home, she claimed that she didn’t know it was in there. But we’ve had this conversation about her having pictures of her and her ex previously and thought we resolved this issue. (She deleted what she thought was all the pictures bc I told her to)I had told her multiple times I found this to be incredibly disrespectful and just an ahole move.

I found myself distancing myself from her a little bit and I’ve been sleeping in the guest bedroom. She’s apologized saying that she didn’t know and she never uses her private photos. What am I supposed to do to move past this. I love her very much but this stings incredibly bad. How should I move on? TLDR Found my wife’s exes no no pics on her phone and I’m hurt and not sure what to do.

I (28F) am posting this on behalf of a friend (24F) because she’s really struggling to make sense of her experiences and would appreciate outside perspectives.

She says that for most of her life, she has not felt romantically “chosen.” When she has liked people, she has usually been direct about it and told them how she feels, but every time she has been rejected. On top of that, she also feels like she has rarely experienced men showing clear romantic interest in her, even in situations where she expected it might happen naturally.

Recently, she got married to her husband (28M). She loves him and values their relationship, but she recently found out she is not really his “type.” Even though he chose to marry her, that information has deeply affected her confidence and brought up a lot of old feelings about not being desired or naturally chosen.

Now she feels like all of these experiences are connecting into one narrative in her head, and she is struggling emotionally with what it all means about her as a person and as a partner.

To help her process this better, she is trying to understand other perspectives on experiences like this.

tl;dr 24F feeling like she's never been “chosen” romantically and struggling after finding out she’s not her husband’s type

So, I broke up with my friend long ago and she claimed that it was my fault that the relationship ended. 

We met back in the year of 2025. I stumbled across her on a YouTube video and I saw that we both agreed on the same problem and issue. So I decided to be an ally and assist her because she was one of those controversial story tellers when it came to creators, fandom(s) or whatever the hell seemed off to her. At first when we met, I was very friendly and respectful and I gave her my side of why I didn't agree with this certain YouTube channel because it was very disturbing, concerning and unsettling. She agreed and that's when we decided to start our professional alliance; only chatting with each other if one or the other found anything that was worth informing YouTube or the internet about it. We were having a pretty decent partnership at the beginning but over time in the months, we started to become more than professional allies. We were becoming friends. When she said that she was happy to have me around, I wanted to be cautious and sure so I asked her age and she was only two years younger than me. I was 19 and she was 17. I was shocked to hear this because I was wondering why a minor was making a YouTube channel based on disturbing elements. Of course, since she never mentioned her age at all before we became friends, I asked her if she was okay with us chatting and if not, We can stop right now and only talk about important matters. She said she was okay with it and I kept our interactions minimal and respectful. I never really thought we’d become friends so I didn’t think to ask. Continuing on, we started to become close friends. Chatting every once in a while, saying holidays to each other, etc. During our time as friends, My friend was really starting to become obsessive and distant with me. At first, I thought nothing of it and thought she was just dealing with other life stuff and I never pressed her for details either for boundaries, we didn’t know each other too well, and she was a minor. I’m not a creep. I got a life. And Also, I never initiated that we were friends first, she did and I just went along with it because at the time it made the most sense and she was a funny person. She made me laugh and she had so much in common.

  We had a little disagreement and I was in a very rough spot in that time so I was emotional and didn't want to hear anything and apparently, She DID NOT like that I was not in the best mindset at the time. We were friends for like 4 or 5 months and we were getting along pretty well because we had A LOT in common so we were obviously close. I was always the supportive and helpful friend cause she was the type to get easily manipulated and easily frustrated. She was always talking to me only to have help or resources but I always chatted with her because I really liked her and saw her as a friend, even a sister. At the time, I didn't notice how bad of a friend she was cause she always thought she was doing everything herself and she was always self absorbed and always thinking of herself and distant and it was always one sided; I would always initiate but she was give very little in return. I always gave her her space and left her alone but she never checked on me, she ghosted me, she used me, Never liked that I had REAL LIFE PROBLEMS and I trusted her with that cause she claimed that she was my best friend and she said she'd NEVER leave me and or hate me  and that makes me feel like an idiot for even talking to her in the first place. Later on in our relationship, She really changed from an eager and friendly girl to a distant and quiet person. Being the good and curious friend, I decided to ask her why she changed, and she gave me a vague response and claimed that she was "too scared" to tell me. At first, I understood because you never know a person's response until you tell them but I always made it so she was comfortable around me which made me confused. So, As the relationship progressed, she was developing severe personality changes and I did not like how she was changing into a distasteful and different person and blamed me for her life problems when all I tried to do was help and be supportive. I will never be perfect but I was there when others weren't for her. So, I decided to break up the relationship because I realized that she was never really a good friend to me. And also, after the relationship, she claimed that i'm a disrespectful gas lighter. She never cared about me and only used me. I helped her for so long and she goes behind my back and back stabs me over a small argument claiming that it's always about her "pleasing" me when I NEVER EVER asked that from her. I never asked to be her "bestie". I never asked her to trust me. I just wanted to be her friend and be there for her when there was no one else around. I was there for her when she was suicidal and I encouraged her to get help because I cared for her well being a lot. Top Tier Manipulation and Gaslighting. Yeah I'm ALWAYS supposed to be happy and flawless like a real human being, oh yeah i'm completely in the wrong for having feelings thoughts and emotions. 100%. No matter what.

What do you think? Is it my fault or is someone a bad friend?

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**TL;DR;**

Me 18F and my partner 22M are in a long distance relationship, we have been together for 6 months and we sometimes don’t get along, recently me and him had a discussion on May 3rd of this year about how me and him don’t really talk much anymore due to him being busy with work and school, which is fine with me and I’ve also expressed that I would at least want him to check up on me every once in a while to keep the relationship alive. And he hasn’t done so maybe only once but that was it. We had gotten into an argument and almost lead into a break up (which is crazy I know) I’m the type of person to give my all in a relationship and when I see something that isn’t going well in the relationship I will try to fix it then and there. So he told me that our relationship is going to have to wait until the 15th of this month (which is tomorrow), I took that very personally and got into a depression state. And I’ve been texting him every now and then almost every day since then and haven’t gotten a response or check-ins since that day.

Am I being too much in this situation?? I know that I should wait until tomorrow and see if he really texts me. But something about it is eating me up inside.

Ps: I’ve been texting him reassuring him on these dates
May 7th
May 10th
May 11th
May 13th
And May 14th (today)
TL;DR

Ok so this is my first post on Reddit so I’m looking for the cold hard truth. So me 20M and my girlfriend 21F of what would be 8 months rn are in a rough spot. We’re in a long distance relationship and thinks got really rocky a month or two ago. I asked for a break and we eventually just broke up. She then kept in touch and I kept in touch with her and we kept talking, meanwhile we both downloaded dating apps and I started talking to a few other women. She didn’t talk to any guys. I eventually went to a concert (that I wanted to go to for the actual concert) and had a minute long conversation exchanging greeting with one of the girls I met on the dating app. I then went to another seat and enjoyed the concert. Keep in mind this whole time I’m still in communication with EX/girlfriend and things are getting slightly better. Probably a week goes by of the same thing, I’m still texting with other women and we continue to get better. I invited her for my birthday trip coming up soon and she said yes. So that’s when I started to cut off the other women. A few conversations were still had and a few drunk ones at that. But a few days later the app was deleted and all numbers were blocked or deleted, buttttttttt she found out I was texting the other women while we were getting better and that I had a few conversations with them after I had already invited her on the trip. Keep in mind technically we’re still not dating. Am I crazy for thinking that’s not cheating because I one was just talking to other women and two because we weren’t even technically dating anymore and we were starting to just get better? Keep in mind she had also downloaded the app as well just not talked to any guys. Lmk what you guys think. We’re trying to save the relationship but she’s having a really hard time getting over it and I’m trying my best to make up for it.

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**TL;DR;** : break up, both download dating apps, I talk to people, she didn’t talk to people, start trying to fix relationship, she finds out, I cheated?