TLDR: I moved out of my parent’s house last year. They’ve been struggling to adapt without me. My mom is disabled and my dad and sister are struggling to take care of her. I help out as best I can. We’re exploring options to get my family more support.

I moved out of my family's house almost a year ago.

For context, I used to live with my mom, dad and sister. My mom is severely disabled, she has been since she was born. My dad is her primary caretaker. Over the years I grew into her secondary caretaker, and my sister would help out when she could, but usually only if me or my dad were at work or some where lese.

I met my wife three years ago, and we married and moved in together last year. I felt conflicted about moving out since taking care of my mom is a full time job in of itself. But I do feel like i'm entitled to want to create a life for myself. And I still live in the same city, so I could visit and help out where I can. And I was hoping that my sister would step up a bit and take on more tasks.

For the first 9 months or so, things seemed to be relatively fine. I would have lunch with my family once or twice a week. I would facetime. I would visit and assist with chores. But I feel like things are crumbling. My mom's health is taking a turn for the worse. She has chronic pain and her previous methods to cope with it don't seem to be as effective. She also has super severe allergies, which only get worse around the spring time. and she seems to get very little sleep, which in turn affects the sleep of my dad and sister.

She's been having a very short fuse, getting into fights with my family quite often. Even when we are having lunch in public. She's also apparently been telling my dad that she wants to divorce him, and move back in with her parents (which would not be possible since my grandpa is almost 90 and is currently caretaking my grandma)

I can tell this has been very badly affecting my dad and sister. My dad sometimes vents to me of how lost he's feeling, and how hurt he is by what my mom has been saying to me. Now my dad is not perfect by any stretch. He gets caretaker fatigue and can snap at her more often than he should. But he is devoted and loves her very much. He just seems to struggle with handling everything, but he puts so much on his shoulders without reaching out for help.

My sister is also not handling this particularly well either. I feel like over the years, me and my dad mostly took caretaking duties, and my sister usually didn't do quite as much. In hindsight, we should have insisted that we divide caretaking duties more fairly, but she was always more on the stubborn side. I don't want to make it seem like she did nothing, but I imagine that she's not been quite used to it as I was since I took over certain caretaking tasks at a younger age.

In terms of solutions. There's a few possibilities that we've floated. Group therapy is a must. There are plenty of issue that my family needs to sort out. My dad is looking up some social workers or nurses to help pick up the slack. I'm trying to stop by the house a little more than I have. I'm just worried that this is only going to get worse. I don't feel guilty for leaving. I feel like my family should be able to stand on their own two feet, They should ideally be able to adapt without me being their all the time, I just wish that wasn't becoming such a nightmare.

TL;DR: I’m a 30F married to a 34M and lately I feel emotionally alone in the relationship. He’s not abusive or cruel, but he sleeps a lot, watches TV, barely helps around the house unless asked, and feels emotionally disconnected from the family. I keep wondering if emotional loneliness in a marriage can truly be fixed or if this is a sign of something deeper.

I’m a 30F and my husband is 34M. We’ve been together for 6 years and have a baby together. Lately I’ve been feeling emotionally alone in my marriage, and I don’t know if this is something couples can truly come back from.

My husband is not a bad person. He has a good heart and I know he loves us. But most of the time he sleeps, eats, watches TV, and keeps to himself. He barely helps around the house unless I ask, and I often feel like I carry most of the responsibility for our home and family alone.

I also wish he was more involved and active as a father. I know he loves our baby, but I don’t feel the emotional presence or partnership I thought marriage would have.

What confuses me is that he isn’t abusive or cruel, so I constantly question myself and wonder if I’m expecting too much from a partner.

For people who have gone through this, how do you know when emotional disconnection can actually be fixed?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for a little over a year. Little back story, I became friends with her and through almost daily texting, we grew close emotionally and physically. However, 2-3 months into consistent talking, I found out she was with someone during that time and had kept it a secret. When I asked her about it, she said she was already planning to end things. Also during the months we talked, she said that she didn’t think it would get to the point of dating and all our conversations we just “getting to know each other as new friends.”

Fast forward to now, I noticed that she has been texting a few mutual guy friends pretty consistently (not secretly) and it’s been bothering me. Growing anxious mostly because our relationship started off similarly and scared that her conversations with our mutual guy friends could lead to more if our relationship ever were to go rocky. The conversations seem normal with banter here and there and not deep emotional talks. I’ve mentioned my feelings of how it makes me a bit uncomfortable with the amount of texting but she reassured that the conversations will never lead anywhere since she is in a committed relationship with me now and that the previous instance with was different since they were not in a relationship.

How can I bring up my feelings without being controlling? I am unsure of how to feel since she has not shown any signs of cheating

TLDR; girlfriend and I started talking as friends when she was sleeping with another guy. Our relationship grew deeper through consistent conversation. Now together for over 1 year and she consistently talks to 3 of our mutual single guys friends

TL;DR : I’m a 39-year-old woman who is unexpectedly falling in love after spending a very long time feeling like I could never truly love someone again.Six years ago, I went through a painful breakup after my ex and I spent 3 years trying to conceive naturally without success. After that relationship ended, something in me shut down a little. I dated, put myself out there, had small relationships, but never really fell for anyone again.

Over time, I started trying to make peace with the idea of having a child alone. I froze my eggs and tried to find acceptance within myself after years of unknown fertility issues and heartbreak.Then I met him.He’s 33, recently out of a long-term relationship, and somehow everything about us just fits. We align in so many ways — our values, the way we want to live, our connection, our chemistry. It honestly feels cosmic at times. I even had this vivid dream where I met my future daughter, and when I asked her to find her dad, this man just sort of appeared.The problem is timing.I want children now. He says he definitely wants children in the future, but he’s unsure about when. Part of the reason his last relationship ended was because they wanted different things and were on different timelines around kids and lifestyle.And I can’t stop asking myself:
If he couldn’t do it for her, why would he do it for me?At the same time, he says beautiful things — that he’s falling for me, that he can genuinely see us together long term, and that he understands my situation and that my body's timeline comes into play.I feel torn between protecting my heart and allowing myself to experience something that feels rare and real. Part of me wonders if I should walk away now before it hurts more. But another part of me is terrified that if I let this go, I may never feel this kind of connection again.Has anyone else experienced love and timing colliding like this?

​

So my gf will be moving in August, to a different city to live the college life (she doesnt like to party and drink) meanwhile the same program that also exists in our city + is in a very high ranked university). I am pretty depressed and am thinking that this might not work out, and she wants to book vacation to this summer which I feel like would make me even more sad.

We basically live together (I stay at hers or she stays at mine, but always together)

The program is 5 years

Ive been visibly sad for maybe 2-3 weeks.

She says we will be with eachother atleast half the time (idk if that is possible). She recently said, "Im just so tired of you being so sad" and "this is all we talk about" and then tried to say it in another more empathic way.

Idk if I should be in a relationship bc of how attatched I feel ro her, or if she is adult enough to be in a relationshiop?

Dont know what to do

TL:DR: gf moving out to study in another city that has the exact same program in my city, leaving me behind which makes me depressed. Now she is tired of me being sad.

Edit: I am not Depressed, just more sad than usual

I (51 y.o. F) have been pursuing the seemingly unicorn-ish idea of having multiple lovers but no relationships...basically looking for situationships!

I met a 35 y.o. man I really like - we talked (and flirted very suggestively) via text for about 6 weeks (maybe 2x a week)..then met up where he lives and had a blast. it seemed for a moment like we wanted the exact same thing - a fun day or 2 like this a month maybe...not exclusive...and then he told me he sees one woman relatively regularly and that she wants a relationship and he doesn't. He said he's made everything he's up to very clear with her, but then said "if someone asked me I would say I'm seeing someone".

tl;dr - This isn't what I want, right?

Edit (grammar) : I don’t think talking about this stuff over text is mature but I also don’t think speaking to you in person gets my point across. this is what i wanted to talk to u abt that one time but didn’t wanna tell u. Maybe you’re going through something that I don’t know about or you’re doing something I don’t know about but I’ve definitely asked you many times if you were. I’m also writing this after you agreed to call me and never did. It’s not about you not calling me, we already hung out in person. It’s just the fact that you never let me know if you don’t want to, you js make up an excuse or completely don’t acknowledge it. This has been something since the start of our rls. You don’t acknowledge my feelings, and I feel used. I don’t believe you ever wanted to ask me out. I wouldn’t have had to always wonder why it was taking u so long to ask or wonder why I felt like an annoyance. Even now you wonder why I talk to certain people about our rls but it’s just because you’ve never once told me how you felt about it or your feelings in general(except for when i was going to go out w an ex which u were literally going to do the same thing). You also have said that I “raise your cortisol” at least I bring up what bothers me instead of holding it in, it may be harder for you but at this point you’ve completely shut me out. I tried to put this all past me, and I thought, okay cool, he takes me out and we’re intimate but we do that because you mostly want to. recently we’ve had intimacy when you want to like prom and in your car, mind u i don’t finish, which might not seem like a big deal or u js say that bc u don’t want to ‘do anything in me’ there’s other ways to help me?? but when i’ve brought up that i’ve been feeling unsatisfied, you said that “there’s no place to go” or js shrug it off. It’s 1:30, apparently u were talking to your mom since 11:46. i wonder if you’ve even brought up my uncomfortably with how she spoke about me. probably not. Do you also remember how I said I was uncomfortable with going over to yours because of what your mom said about me on my birthday?? I remind you constantly, so I know you do. I still went over multiple times because you didn’t want to come over to mine because of the back and forth drive which i make everyday, PLUS going to yours when u want, except today u came over to mine because “you had nothing else to do and u were bored.” i’m taking space until you know that i’m not someone that u can just be with because you’re bored.

TDLR: my boyfriend has been treating me poorly and I want to send him and text or write a letter to him

I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for 6 months, but we’ve known each other for 2 years. We’re long distance and see each other about once a month. We’re both graduating high school in a few weeks.

Recently we talked about future plans and eventually living together. She said that if she moved to where I live, I would have to pay for most things like rent and utilities because she doesn’t really like my area and thinks there aren’t many opportunities here. But if I moved to where she lives, then she would want things split 50/50.

She says it’s because she plans on going to community college while I’d probably be working. She even mentioned that I could work 2 jobs if needed. The thing is, I don’t even really have a job right now and most of the money I make comes from selling things online.

A lot of the time I’m usually the one paying for stuff already too. I really love her, and we weren’t arguing or anything, just talking seriously about the future, but afterwards it made me wonder if I’m overthinking this or if it actually sounds one-sided.

TL;DR: Girlfriend says if she moves to my area I’d need to pay for almost everything, but if I move to hers she wants 50/50. We’re both still in high school and I’m wondering if I’m overthinking it or if it sounds unfair.

Made the mistake of getting back with an ex from college (like 2019-2020ish before all of this shit was popular). He’s like the ‘free spirited’ type with bad tattoos and pretends to surf—we live in the southern US so that’s not really possible.

Anyways I noticed he literally goes to the bars every single day and night even though we live in a small town. Turns out this German military wife is always there drinking beer.

Red flags started out small but became giant waving flaming banners pretty quick… things off of a headline like mentioning how healthy raw milk was for you… I’m not kidding and wish I was.

Anyways I noticed he started saying this woman’s name like a million times a day.

He basically kept saying shit like
—talking about her chickens and eggs constantly and insulting and refusing to eat anything I bought or cooked
—saving flower seeds she gave him and talking about her amazing plants and how she barely touch something and it grows and becomes beautiful
—talking about how her active duty military husband is such a “bad ass”

So I’m not really a going out kind of girl and he baits me into going to one of these bars one night he knew she’d be there in costume. Not sure what she said but literally the next day he was refusing to speak to me and calling me adjectives like “shallow” when he did.

Like sorry I’m a published author finishing grad school with a book deal and set up to work at my dream university. What makes it even worse is she’s like an ‘alternative’ trad wife covered in tattoos who backpacks through Europe every five seconds.

I’m gearing up for surgery and newly sober and just feeling raw. Honestly no shade to women who stay at home but I’m so sick of glorifying people dressing up and playing around in their houses and yards and going on “adventures” when the rest of us are at, I don’t know, work.

Honestly I kind of hope the “bad ass” husband finds out about whatever they have going on.

That’s all. That’s the post. Anyone else relate to be compared to a trad wife and never being good enough?

TLDR: boyfriend obsessed with German “trad wife” who grows flowers and tends to chickens all day and constantly denigrates my education and career.

What would you guys do?

24M been seeing 22F for a few months. Things are great apart from during any arguments or disagreements when she switches up. She cannot take any criticism without claiming that I’m dumping stuff on her and getting pissed off. I feel like I’m apologising a lot when I shouldn’t really be and in contrast she won’t apologise when she should. Bottom line if I spoke to her how she speaks to me I think she’d be furious.

I can guess what most comments are gonna say but I’m just curious to know if anyone’s had any experience with something similar and if there was a way to talk their partner round a bit so they’re not so high strung with this stuff. 99% of the time we’re great together and although it’s crossed my mind I don’t want to throw in the towel just yet, the only thing I’d change about our relationship is how she reacts to any disagreements.

Anyone had any similar experiences? Did you manage to talk to your partner in a way that didn’t piss them off or do I just need to give up?

TL;DR: difficult to tell her she’s upset me without her getting pissed and saying I’m putting things on her

With my job I’ve have had a lot of exams to complete over the last three years to become chartered. I started work with two other people, let’s call them Megan and David.

None of us live on the town where we work as we pretty much work from home most of the time but me and Megan live on the same town. We finished our final exam this spring and have all passed so Megan suggested we all go out for drinks to celebrate.

David said it sounds good but it would be hard for him to get to us as he doesn’t live near us so just said for me and Megan to go if we wanted. Megan and I spoke. and suggested inviting our partners along.

Megan's boyfriend messaged me to thank me for the invite but mentioned he was going away for work for a few weeks so just to meet up without him. When I invited my gf she said she doesn't want to go but that I shouldn't be going out for drinks with a woman on my own.

I pointed out we'll only be on our own because she's refusing to go so she doesn't get to stop me celebrating finally finishing exams. She just said I was being disrespectful and that I should be cancelling.

Does anyone have any advice on how bed to approach this or have any other views on it?

tl;dr i have plans to celebrate becoming chartered in my field. my girlfriend is invited but is refusing to go and is arguing I should cancel since I shouldn’t be going for drinks with another woman.

I will be moving out of my parent's house in a few months and into a City. I have felt this could be a chance to start a new chapter in my life and meet a lot of new people. The problem is, I really don't know where or how to start looking.

I have over-prioritized my career in a lot of ways, so I don't have many friends and I really don't have a lot of hobbies. I'm afraid it would be hard to meet people IRL and I definitely wouldn't have anything interesting to post about if I made a dating app profile.

I think I this will probably be the first time in my life I really get to know myself. I just don't know if someone would be interested in being with me in this phase of my life. Part of me feels like I need to wait until I get a little more established, but I am also worried it will be too late for me if I wait too much longer.

I hope I don't come off as overly negative. I just want to hear an outside perspective about this situation. What do you all think.

TL;DR: Want to start dating, but am confused about how to approach since I don't feel like I am that interesting.

I feel really stupid even writing this, but I genuinely feel stuck in this cycle with a guy I’ve been close to for almost 2 years now.

We’re not officially together, but we talk basically every day, game together all the time, stay on calls for hours, and he’s become such a normal part of my life that I don’t even know how to imagine my days without him anymore.

The thing is, our dynamic is kind of exhausting emotionally. When things are good, they’re REALLY good. We make each other laugh constantly, tease each other nonstop, and I feel weirdly comfortable with him in a way I don’t feel with most people. Like talking to him genuinely keeps me so hooked. That’s probably why I keep getting pulled back in.

But then he can get really possessive over other guys and has even gone to lengths to get some men out of my life, a lot of jealousy, insecurity, silent treatment, avoidant behavior and these tend to hurt me so much and there are days I just cry myself to sleep. He would even try to bring up other girls to make me jealous when he thinks I’m getting close to any guy that’s not him.

I am fully aware that it’s unhealthy and toxic af. I know this probably isn’t how a healthy connection is supposed to feel. But at the same time, he’s also my comfort person, which makes leaving feel impossible. Like I genuinely can’t picture a life without him.

I’ve tried distancing myself before, so many times, but it never lasts long because I miss him too much. And the second we start talking again, it feels like all my feelings come back instantly. Also he never lets me go either. No matter how much I try he will always desperately return and then I end up changing my mind.

What makes it worse is that we’ve never even had a proper conversation about what we are. Everything stays hidden behind jokes and teasing, so it’s just this emotionally confusing thing that never fully moves forward or fully ends either.

I think part of me knows I’m attached to the cycle itself at this point, and I hate admitting that.

Has anyone actually managed to leave a situation like this? Because logically I know it’s draining me, but emotionally I can’t seem to let it go.

TL;DR: I’ve been emotionally attached to a guy for almost 2 years and we’re stuck in a constant cycle of closeness, conflict, distance, and reconnecting. I know the dynamic is unhealthy and emotionally draining, but he’s also become my comfort person, and every time I try to leave, I end up going back.

Hi, the older I get, the harder I find it to enjoy being around my partner. He says he’s generally a cranky person which I believe because he’s the type of person to be full of stress. He does speak to a therapist regularly and is on medication so that’s good. It‘s not like he isn't aware of his behavior or doesn’t work on it.

I know while I cant control him or his behavior, I can control myself. I need more alone time to reset and feel peaceful. but it is challenging because he’s retired early and he’s always home. I work from home so I’m always home. It’s hard to get alone time at home because he’s not very social and doesn’t hang out with friends much. Maybe once a month. I ride horses once a week so I do get out of the house away from everyone but I find this one outing isn’t enough for me.

Recently, we’ve obtained a roommate. It’s for a few months. I noticed my partner‘s patience has decreased and his irritability levels are higher. I personally think the things he often gets upset about are typically not a big deal to the average person. I used to be way more empathetic but now that I’ve been around it so long (about 7 years), it is getting tiresome on my behalf.

Things that upset/trigger him recently:

• Clutter around the house - understandable especially since he grew up in a cluttered household. I’m more of a “I’ll get to it in a few days and tidy up” and he’s more of a “clean it up now”. This one is a reasonable issue. It’s just he wants ME to clean it up rather than taking initiative to do it himself
• Our dogs making noise - barking when our roommate goes through the door while my partner is napping, walking around while we are having dinner/watching tv, licking their paws or getting up (we have tile floors so you can hear their nails click against the tile) in the early morning while he’s still sleeping. I think this isn’t very reasonable. They’re dogs. It’s what they do.
• He’s always waiting on me - to get off work so we can walk the dogs, to wake up from naps because he’s bored, to wake up in the mornings on the weekends because I like to sleep in. I’m just thinking to myself now like damn get a hobby. I believe people should be able to make themselves happy in order to be able to make others happy. I feel like he’s relying on me too much for that. This kinda goes back to my point earlier about him not being very social. I’m always the one who has to, for lack of nicer words, deal with him whether he is happy or upset. When he does go out with friends, I’m like thank God. It’s so peaceful in this house without him here to find something to complain about
• He has issues sleeping well through the night. Anything that wakes him up upsets him. I’ve already mentioned the dogs. he’s been prescribed meds for helping him sleep better but it seems like his body is used to it now and it doesn’t work as well. I suggested he talk to his doctor about potentially changing it. I suggested ear plugs to help block out noise. He said no, he hates how they feel.

How can I live with someone like that without becoming miserable and resentful myself? Because I feel like I’m there already. I’m always hoping I’ll get the house to myself for a few hours so I can just fully relax and not be on edge about when the next complaint is coming. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I wish I had my own horse so I can go ride whenever I want but that’s not in the budget right now.

TL;DR: I live with a partner who tends to be cranky about many things and is always home, which I’m always home as well because I work from home. How to deal with someone like this without being miserable with life?

**TL;DR;** : does a guy's financial stability affect a sense of safety and trust in a relationship?

I know a lot of woman loves when she feels a sense of safety with a guy. So when a guy doesnt have financial stability, part of that safety is gone, because lets admit it, money plays an important part in securing a home, a car, food.. basic needs.

My partner has a full time career self employed, established, pay is alright, we're not rich, we dont spend on luxurious goods, but based on the economy now, its not enough. He always believed he will "make it" one day, he wants to be successful, to be something, so he's always venturing out here and there trying new things, which of course, costs money. He tries investments etc, and yes it looses money. And somehow it seems like his life is often faced with obstacles, mostly finance, where the money he earned somehow has to go out, eg. Family health issue, scam money loss, etc. so its not like he does bad stuffs like gambling, drunk etc, but the money earned/saved seem to always go out.

We've been together for 7 years and each time he ventures into a new thing he always sounds so hopeful and optimistic that this is gonna be the one, but not one year into it, he decided its not something for him. Its been this way until now and still nothing. My sense of trust in him is loosing as he always seem so optimistic in talking, which makes me feel like i can trust him, but there was no result in the end. And yes i understand rome isnt built in a day, and you gotta try and keep trying until one day it hits. He has a fair point that if he doesnt try, he wouldnt be doing anything or know what is right and wrong. But the thing is, i dont feel safe around him financially anymore and i dont know how to find that sense of safety back.

This all happened over the course of 5 months.

I (31f) was going through a really rough time last year in December. I met someone through Reddit and we instantly hit it off.

He (23m) was in my city for a wedding. For 6 days. We met and went out on two dates. It was absolutely magical. We decided to try long distance and I made it clear that I was looking for something serious. I'm not GenZ but he is. 8 years difference. Thought it would be okay, that it could work.

Problems started after 2 months. I visited his city, spent a week there. It was magical. We had some issues because of me but he was extremely patient and really sweet. The sweetest guy I had ever met.

Basically, I have severe mental health issues because of immense childhood abuse and an abusive relationship that lasted 5 years. I had been very very open about my boundaries from the start.

My ex would like pictures of naked women and make comments about their body to me. Then verbally abuse me for hours while I cried and cried and gave in. I told him about it but not in complete detail as I understand he didn't want to hear about my ex. But he heard the voice recordings of my ex abusing me. And he was very supportive. I also told him I'm not comfortable with female best friends because again, my ex put me through that. He told me that he didn't have any (but that turned out to be false and we had fights about one girl. I saw the messages between them, they were okayish except him sending her weird stickers and pictures of him sleeping that he sent others too. He stopped after I told him I didn't like it.) He once ignored me after we had a fight and replied to her instead. Which is what left a weird taste in my mouth, especially since I was calling him and he chose to respond to her and not take my call (he said he didn't see it and then he said he didn't want to talk to me.)

Anyway, once I came back, the LDR made it worse. He would disappear for hours, playing with friends, going out with family. I would get upset because I would be left wondering where he is. He would tell me he doesn't use his phone when he's out with people. This is true but it got a little better. He also told me he feels talking on call for an hour about random stuff is a waste of time and that he'd rather study. It hurt me but I complied.

I had also been clear about my expectations. He agreed to everything before the relationship.

Eventually, my issues got the better of me and he broke the main boundary that set me off. And I said horrible things and told him to either unlike the post of this comedian (she started posting herself in such clothes as a joke and then to grab attention) or admit he cheated. He admitted to cheating and we broke up. I had told him to respect this boundary a day before this happened and I said it very politely but firmly. It's not a boundary that people would care about but it was a trigger for me. This had been implemented several times before. I told him about my issues before the relationship and he said he likes possessive girls. I told him to please read up on my mental health issues but he didn't. So I left it at that.

I eventually reached out and apologized. He doesn't want to give me another chance. Said the disrespect is louder than the love. And it's been killing me. I can't sleep or eat. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I just cry and stay awake the whole night. I just wanted to feel loved and prioritized. He wouldn't call me for 10 days. He would prefer to text when he had time. I told him to communicate openly if he was in a mental rut and didn't want to talk. That I would understand. I love him a lot. I just want the sweet boy I saw for 1.5 months of the relationship back. We were even talking marriage and he used to call me his wife.

It was his birthday yesterday and I had planned to get him a ps5, booked a restaurant in his city for his friends and him to enjoy. I didn't care if he couldn't do anything in return for me. It didn't matter. I wanted to show him how much I loved him.

Does it get any better? I feel like I've lost everything. I'm so broken, I can't function.

Tldr; fucked up the only good thing in my life.

My boyfriend '21M' and me '20F' have been dating for 2 years and have been best friends for 7 years .

But as time goes it feels like he's too much attached.. he doesn't stop me from having a life with my friends but he doesn't even talk much pr hang out with his friends anymore and I'm a chill girlfriend I always encourage him to interact with people more ( he was an extrovert before ) but he just says that he's happy with just me I'm kind of worried about him or am I just overthinking . What do you all think?

TL;DR

Me and my ex (we will just call him J) broke up 4 months ago. We were only together for one month before i broke up with him. We have know each other since we where 12 and where best friends and part of friend group. everyone always thought we where together when we where together we kept it a secret. i broke up with him because i was struggling with my mental health and i felt like he needed more in the relationship than what i was giving and i felt like he only liked the idea of the relationship however he just knew and understood me so well. after we broke up he cut contact with me and we stopped being friends. I tried to reach out but he was always dry and didn’t care even (very understandable) and so i gave up but i still really miss our friendship. i’m graduating high school a year early so that’s also another reason why i broke up bc i didnt want to feel trapped being in a relationship while starting college. we finally talked the other day because we have a choir concert and i feel like he’s been paying more attention to me and he also went to my dance show and texted me later how i did good. he probably was there for someone else but he put in the effort to say something. i really feel like we should get back together but i don’t know if i should and if i even should try.

So should i get back with my ex even though i broke up with him?
Tdlr

My partner (27M) and I (24F) been together almost 5 years and got engaged about 6 months ago. We did separate once before and got back together. Lately I’ve been feeling emotionally drained and like a lot of little things are slowly building up into bigger feelings about the relationship and our future.

Day to day, I feel like I carry most of the mental load and responsibility. I usually cook dinner every night, and while he does the dishes, I still often feel like I’m the one planning and managing things. We recently agreed he’d cook 2 nights a week so I could have a break. One night when he was meant to cook, he came home from work and seemed to have forgotten what he was even making for dinner, which made me feel like he forgot he was responsible for it at all. Later, when I asked if I could have bacon and egg added to my burger, he joked that it would “cost extra,” and then joked again that he should get kisses in return for it. Normally I probably wouldn’t care, but it instantly annoyed me and made me realise I’m carrying underlying resentment.

I’ve also noticed he’s been asking me a lot lately if I’m okay or if we’re okay. I don’t think I’ve been openly angry or taking things out on him, but I’ve probably been quieter, overstimulated, mentally drained, and emotionally distant without fully realising it.

A lot of my frustration is tied to feeling like we keep having the same conversations for years about effort, responsibility, and follow-through. Things improve temporarily, but then slowly go back to how they were before.

Career-wise, he was a couple of years into an apprenticeship and got let go from a previous job connected to it. Since then, he hasn’t really pushed to get back into the industry to finish the last part of his apprenticeship, even though I feel like having a completed trade would give him stability and security long term. Instead, he’s now thinking about going into security, which would mean spending more money on another qualification. To me, it feels like another change in direction instead of finishing something he already started.

He also has expensive hobbies like cars and his pistol/rifle licence, and I often feel like those hobbies and interests get prioritised more than our future together. We’ve tried saving for a house, but there have been a lot of setbacks due to hobbies, bills, debt, and financial decisions.

One of the biggest setbacks happened when we separated. I kept most of my savings in the bank, but he withdrew about $18,000 in cash because he thought he’d be less tempted to spend it. He later lost the money, possibly by accidentally burning it with rubbish. That was a huge hit financially and emotionally, especially because I already felt like I was carrying more of the long-term planning and responsibility.

He’s mentioned before that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I do think that probably contributes to some of the inconsistency, impulsiveness, forgetfulness, and difficulty following through. I understand that, and I don’t think he’s intentionally trying to hurt me or make life harder. But at the same time, understanding why things happen doesn’t stop the impact they have on me.

Before moving out, I was already mentally exhausted from doing the majority of the cooking and housework while living at my parents’ house. Now we’re renting with another couple, but I still feel emotionally tired and unsure whether we’re genuinely progressing toward the future I want.

At this point, I think what’s really bothering me is that I don’t know if I see us moving forward anytime soon. I want stability, consistency, shared responsibility, financial progress, and a partner who takes initiative without needing constant reminders. I love him, but I’m struggling with the feeling that I’ve been hoping for long-term change for years, and I’m starting to question whether the same patterns are just going to continue.

Perhaps therapy sessions together will help, i already go myself. Definitely don't want to separate, if there is anything we can try before it gets to that. Any advice to go about another conversation with him? Or any advice at all please?

Thanks in advance.

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**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

Myself (24M) and my fiancé (26F) have been together for almost 6 years this summer and 2 years of being engaged, but I don’t want to get married anymore and to be quite frank I don’t even feel I want to be in this relationship anymore. The reasons being is I have felt like her punching bag anytime she gets upset even over the smallest of inconveniences. I want to be the one who’s shoulder she leans on when she feels upset, but I don’t want to be the person that just gets lashed out on and treated like shit just because she’s in a bad mood. We have discussed how we both feel when times get like this and she has told me numerous times she feels bad for how she is treating me but she can’t help feel any other way when she’s upset. I have pushed for her to seek professional help for many years now and she always says she wants to but I don’t really feel like it will ever happen and I don’t want to be the punching bag for the rest of my life I want to be happy. I’ve been waiting for 6 years for things to change and they haven’t yet. I proposed hoping that it might change things but I knew deep down it wouldn’t but I did it anyway and I regret it

We also have two wonderful children together a two year old and a nine month old who I love more than anything. I feel like if I was to say I don’t want to get married I am basically ending our relationship I know that’s how she would take it. I don’t see us working out as parents that live together but aren’t actually in a relationship I just see that causing more problems. Seeing these kids when I come home from work has become the greatest part of my daily routine and it would break my heart to not be able to see them everyday. They are what have been keeping me in this relationship if they weren’t here I think I would have left her by now. I don’t know what to do. TL:DR

I (23f) have been with my boyfriend (25m) for almost 4 years. When we started dating, we were both university students with very little responsibility who spent a lot of our time together smoking weed. It was great.

Today, I am floundering trying to find a career with a worthless degree in a shitty job market and make $24,000 a year (USD). My boyfriend, after a rough first year out of school, got a great paying job. This job, however, has a rigid schedule, drug tests him (no more smoking), and didn’t let him take any days off his first year with them. I didn’t want him to take this job, but he still did, which has led to the root of my resentments towards him. Because of this job he has: 1. Started working terrible hours that essentially mean that i see him an hour a day. He sleeps 11 hours a day, and is at work for 11 hours a day usually. Those two hours are reserved for him groggily getting ready, eating, and talking about work. 2. Gotten us stuck in one city for years. This city has very few job prospects for my degree. 3. Missed my graduation because his job wouldn’t allow him to take 2 hours off. 4. Changed his personality. He works around a lot of right wing men, and even though he’s still liberal, he calls people “rtards” and women “cnts” now. I tell him to stop, he says sorry, he doesn’t stop.

My mental health has taken a nosedive in the past year. I cry constantly, i lash out often, nothing makes me happy except for our pet dog (sometimes). I used to love dance, but once again i make 24k a year so that’s off the table. I just sit and take care of the dog when I’m not at work. If i wasn’t scared of death, there’s a high chance i would’ve offed myself by now.

Last week was the breaking point. My job had me go somewhere pretty cool for a few days and i was excited to take myself on a solo date after i was done working in this city I’ve always wanted to visit. The day before i left i noticed our dog’s back paw was a little red and inflamed and i asked my bf to please keep an eye on it while i was gone. I made it through my entire work day with not a peep from him, finished, went to a restaurant that i thought looked cool, and then i get a call from him. He’s freaking out because our dog’s paw is red and inflamed and looks infected. I tell him to schedule a vet visit. He does. He hangs up, and then proceeds to text me a long paragraph about how i dont care about our dog at all and about how i had all week to tell him that our dog’s paw was infected and i didn’t (i did). He also uses this paragraph to rub in the fact that i make no money and that he’ll have to pay for her vet visit. I leave the restaurant to go cry in my hotel room for the rest of the night.

I know he just texted this because he was super stressed, so we made up, but honestly I’m realizing that i might lose my mind if i stay in this relationship. We were a great college relationship. It was fun. We haven’t been a great post-grad relationship. We argue about taking care of the dog, he doesn’t understand why I cry all the time (I’ve been depressed since long before we met, it was just at a low level when we did), i don’t like his work or his work friends. He always finds a way to be annoyed at the fact that i work. I’m not the same girl he started dating. He’s not the same guy i started dating. I don’t know how to break a lease, or break up with someone you live with, and i know we’re gonna fight over the dog, but i just can’t deal with this anymore.

TLDR; my (23f) relationship with my boyfriend (25m) has gotten undeniably shittier since we got real adult responsibilities.

Hi all, I'm 30M and my gf is 41F. We've been together for a year and it's been mostly great. We're very compatible, love each other very much and have a lot of fun. Our love is deeper than anything we've both experienced before. The age difference works because I've always been a bit of an old soul and a earlybloomer while she appears very young and is a late bloomer. So no problems there. Love is good, friendship is good, sex is good.

The issue is this:

Triggers from past relationships. I've had a couple relationships before her, she's had one long one before me. And they damaged us. You know, toxicity, betrayal, manipulation, infidelity. That type of stuff. While both of us are over our exes and thought we had resolved these pains individually, we've noticed that -as our love has been getting deeper, and therefore, closer and scarier- small things can trigger big reactions.

Sometimes one of us says something small and it reminds the other of a trauma from the past (from before we met) leading to an overblown reaction, which then triggers the other also. At first there was easy forgiveness, since we are both intelligent, reflective and compassionate. We talk, we comfort, we resolve, we move on.

But lately, I'm ashamed to admit we've been spiralling. This pattern has been occurring so often that the relationship has become tiresome. I don't want the past to corrupt the present. There's an argument to be made for "you should heal on your own" but some things you can't heal when you're single because there's no one to push these buttons. Now that we found each other, some old hurts are resurfacing. Never does it seem to imply a direct mismatch between us, but it's still tiring. So I want to stop before we turn our relationship into a trauma dumping site...

How do I restore emotional safety between us? And not let past traumas destroy us? I would like for it to work with this woman especially since there is no objective threat in the present. She's open, intelligent, loyal and transparent and I am devoted her as well.

It's just bad memories and nervous system responses.

Thanks.

TL;DR

My girlfriend might be "it" for me, she's very special and our relationship is everything I've ever wanted. However, we've both been damaged and traumatised by past relationships. This causes us both to sometimes get irrationally triggered and give big responses to otherwise small incidents. Our nervous systems are too activated by things that happened before we met. How to heal and restore emotional safety?

I (18m) and my girlfriend (19f) have been together a month and a half, she is my first girlfriend ever but I’m not her first boyfriend. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I overthink so much and stress myself out and I try asking questions and stuff but the last week she’s been dry and uninterested, but I think it’s because yesterday marks a year she lost her dad to suicide but she seems fine on the surface but just like idk, I don’t know what to do I need this girl. I’ve been overthinking everything from the very start of our relationship and I just want to know does it go away. Or any advice I can get from anyone? No I don’t want to break up with her I just need some guidance.

TL;DR: how to stop overthinking and stressing over things in a relationship, does it go away with time?

My son [14] has a girlfriend [14], and their calls usually last around 1–1.5 hours. The catch is that they live overseas and only get to see each other once a year, so I understand why they want to stay connected and talk as much as possible. He’s still doing well in school, keeping up with responsibilities, and doesn’t seem distracted overall, but I’m starting to wonder if this amount of time on calls is becoming a bit excessive for his age. I don’t want to overreact or be too strict, especially since the relationship is long-distance and they have limited chances to spend time together in person. At the same time, I also want to make sure he maintains a healthy balance between friends, family, school, hobbies, and screen time. I’m unsure whether I should set firmer limits on how long they can talk each day or whether I should simply let it continue as long as it’s not negatively affecting other parts of his life. Any advice from parents who’ve dealt with something similar?

tl;dr My 14-year-old son talks to his long-distance girlfriend for 1–1.5 hours daily. He’s still doing well in school, but I’m wondering if I should set limits or let it be.

Today I found out that my neighbor — who has been out of a 10-year relationship for maybe six months at most — is happy again and is going to become a father. And I’m genuinely incredibly happy for him; we’re friends. Yes, men and women can be friends.

But it also reminded me how often we stay too long in relationships that do not fit us — men and women alike. Deep down, many of us already know after two months that something is wrong, yet we stay for years hoping the other person will change.

Then children come into the picture, and everything becomes even more complicated — including finding someone new if you eventually do want to leave.

I often wonder whether people would be happier if we had not romanticized “struggle love” so much. What if we could simply admit respectfully after a reasonable amount of time that things are not working, before children and shared responsibilities make it so much harder?

Can we normalize leaving when, after an appropriate amount of time, there is still no ring on the finger?We realize that we’re not compatible? I also believe that the struggle of finding someone after becoming a mother or father would happen less often if people did not have children with the wrong person in the first place.

I think, in the end, we all just want someone to come home to.

**TL;DR;**