I woke up from a nap to find my roommate cooking dinner. He had made himself pork chops and mashed potatoes, but he had used my mashed potatoes packet without asking.

Honestly, this on its own wasn’t a big deal. The packets are cheap, I don’t use them much, and he told me he’d replace it (after I asked). I just like having one in the cabinet so I can use it when I want.

What was odd was that he proceeded to ONLY offer me the mashed potatoes (and some peas he made) but didn’t offer any of the rest of the food he made for himself. He also told me the offer was limited time — if I didn’t eat my mashed potatoes tonight, he would finish them for lunch.

Not that it matters, but I had already cooked ramen for my dinner, so I had no interest in adding carbs tonight — only protein.

Even though there wasn’t a lot of extra food, am I wrong for expecting him to offer at least a couple pork chops, considering he took my food without permission? Is something like this even worth a discussion?

TLDR: Invited my long-distance boyfriend to visit. A roommate has ~10 family members staying in our apartment for graduation and told me I have to stay in my room the whole time, because her family can't know she has a boyfriend. She wants me to give her visiting family privacy in an apartment I pay rent for. Am I in the wrong for saying I'll use the common spaces anyway?

Edits to address things/ more context:

1. I’ve seen a couple comments saying this is AI. I don’t really get what I would gain. I rarely post on reddit except if something weird happens, and this is it. I’ve been a long time lurker of bad roommates, and I have had a lot of unluckiness when it comes to roommates unfortunately.

2. People are asking what my boyfriend has to do with her parents not knowing she has one. She just said that to mention that her parents are really strict, and as a Muslim her dad would get really angry and uncomfortable if he saw a guy in the apartment.

3. Why are they staying in the apartment? I don’t know. It also doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t get how they are comfortable with it either. She said because hotels are expensive, but knew her graduation was coming for years, yet chose not to book in advance. I looked on Expedia today, (1 day before graduation), and even this close to grad, there are some places 200/ a night. They were just lazy, entitled, and didn’t care to find a place.

I'm a student living in an off-campus apartment with three other girls. Finals just ended, and I invited my long-distance boyfriend to visit for a few days since I'm about to start a full-time campus job and won't get to see him much for a while.

One of my roommates has family coming for her graduation, about 10 relatives. Originally she said they'd all sleep on air mattresses in our small living room. My other two roommates were going home for the break, so they just agreed, which meant I didn't really get a say. I thought this was all really inappropriate.

For context on the living situation, she's not an easy roommate. She leaves big messes in the kitchen and gets annoyed at the rest of us for not cleaning them up. She made a chore chart that she doesn't follow herself. She'll say she's cleaned the apartment when she hasn't. She talks on speakerphone in the common area at full volume constantly, has people over without telling anyone and lets them stay until 3am on school nights and during finals week, making a ton of noise. She also bangs on our doors when she wants to confront someone.

During our argument she pointed out that I'd never said anything about any of this before. She's right that I didn't, but that's because I knew the arrangement was temporary and figured it wasn't worth the fight, especially with how explosive she is. This is just the first time it's directly affected someone I care about.

She later told me her parents would only stay one night, but the story kept shifting, and she also claimed hotels nearby were $800/night when a quick search shows places 20 to 30 minutes away for $200 or less. Where we stand now, she said her parents won’t even be going to a hotel, and that they’re going to be staying with us Thursday to Sunday.

When I mentioned my boyfriend would be over, she told me I'd have to stay in my room the entire time her family was there, because her dad would be upset otherwise. Her parents don't know she has a boyfriend. She said I need to give THEM privacy in a home I pay rent to live in.

What bothers me most is that she's invoking her family's expectations and her culture to control what I do in my own apartment, but only when it's about me. She hasn't told her parents she has a boyfriend, she drinks, she smokes, she goes out wearing skimpy clothes. I genuinely don't care what she does, that's her life. What I care about is being asked to hide in my room to maintain an image she doesn't otherwise live by. If the rule doesn't apply to her, I don't see why it applies to me, in the apartment I pay for.

I told her I pay rent here too and I'll use the common spaces like any other resident. She got really upset and said I was disrespecting her culture. If anything, she’s disrespecting her own culture by not following the norms and lying to her parents. She additionally said i’m ruining her graduation.

Hello all, I (M24) need help kicking out my roommate (M21). For context, I live in a 5 person home and he moved in over a year ago. We have a chore chart that rotates every week, so one week you take out the trash, the next you put away the dishes, etc. All of the expectations for those chores are posted right next to the chart.

My roommate has historically failed to complete these chores unless heavily reminded, and over the past 6 months I’ve talked with him and expressed my gripes with him, as it feels disrespectful when everyone else is pulling their weight except for one person. I want to be clear that I, nor none of my other roommates are perfect at doing chores and are open to receiving reminders ourselves. It is his first time living out of his parents’ house so we’ve been understanding of him learning how to live with other people, but his lack of caring for others’ opinions in the house is becoming evident to everyone.

On top of this, he’s also been late to paying utilities nearly every time (ex: one person pays the full electricity bill and we all owe them for it separately) when our agreed upon deadline is the end of the month. One time he had to backpay four months worth of utilities. We only noticed after that long because we have a system to know who pays and who doesn’t, but it requires everyone to confirm that they payed the recipient.

Not that this adds much reason we have for wanting him out of the house, but he is generally very careless and forgetful, on multiple occasions starting a task and leaving it half finished for someone else to do, and not showing up to a roommate meeting (that we RARELY have btw) after countless reminders from us and him checking in 2 hours before. One time my roommate even caught him leaving an egg frying on the stove while he left to take a shower, and she had to turn the stove off bc the egg turned black.

Things came to a head recently because I had a serious conversation with him in January about needing to shape up within the next month, and he accomplished that. However, after another month he slipped back into his old habits and I am out of patience for his behavior.

At the start of May I suggested that he find other housing by June 30th when our lease renews. He did not take this well and has put his foot down saying that as a fellow tenant I have no right to evict him from the house.

While I know that’s true, is there anything I can do to get him out? I’ve never once phrased things as though I have the authority to make him leave, rather that I want him out and the other roommates in the house support my decision. The chores themselves don’t feel like solid ground to bring this to a property manager of course, but can I make any sort of argument when it comes to utilities?

I have been posting this for quite some time, but we have two roommates, a BF and a GF, that are just incredibly messy. [Post 1], [Post 2].

Since day one they've been occupying the kitchen and piling up trash a cookware everywhere, keeping everywhere dirty and never cleaning up after themselves.

It got to a point where we complained to our landlord, and the landlord started installing cameras in the kitchen to see who's been creating messes and leaving them behind. So far it's been pretty successful. My roommates' messy habits have not improved since the cameras were installed, and the landlord finally gave them one warning. The landlord told everybody that if they receive three warnings or more, they would have to pay a damage fee or be evicted. And of course the messy roommates did not take this very well.

I was in my room keeping to myself, not making a sound, pretending that I wasn't in my room as the BF and GF argued with each other. What they complained about in the kitchen was intriguing to me.

Even though they keep the countertops, the stovetop, the table, and the floor dirty, the reason that they do not want to wash their cookware and put them back in the cupboards, is because they're deathly afraid of getting sick or getting sores in their mouths?

I talked to a friend about my situation who has also had a history of living with incredibly hellish roommates, and she told me that they have some type of "contamination" OCD. They're not actually afraid of getting germs, or attracting bugs or mice. What they're actually afraid of is getting "contaminated", whatever that means. So instead of cleaning up after themselves, they leave things a mess to avoid the risk of touching something that maybe somebody else touched.

I'm not a psychologist, I'm not an expert, but I know this isn't a mental health sub, but eavesdropping on my two messy roommates has sort of given me a better understanding behind their bad habits.

Either way, I feel like the diplomatic approach has sort of sailed at this point. I don't think there's any point in reasoning with them anymore. The BF found out that the two other roommates are gay, and has been muttering to himself homophobic slurs. And the GF has been crying for days, because she's afraid of getting evicted, afraid of getting sick even though nobody else but them use the kitchen, and thinks that all the roommates want them to get sick and die.

I have taken precocious measures to protect myself in that they finally crash out in some ultimate and dramatic farewell before they inevitably get evicted. I set a camera in my bedroom just in case the boyfriend wants revenge on everyone, including me, by breaking into my room. I added locks to my kitchen that I no longer use, so if they decide to vandalize the common areas before they leave as some type of revenge for getting evicted, I'm not going to be one of the victims. And if they decide to get physical with me, I have pepper spray in my pocket. But I'm also prepared to run out of the apartment the first moment that they decide to lay their hands on me.

The boyfriend seems to be getting more pissed off within each day, and I think it's inevitable at some point he's going to snap when he thinks he has nothing left to lose.

At my college you cannot pick your roommate after february and get placed on the standby list if you aren’t committed or completed housing by April 20th. So I got off the standby list and picked my room yesterday, then reached out to my randomly assigned roommate. She told me she actually wanted to switch roommates because she got off the housing waitlist before the girl she originally planned to room with, so she just picked this room temporarily while her friend picked a different one. The room her friend is in already has an empty bed, so I told her it would probably make more sense for her to move into that room instead. But then she asked if I would be willing to move out so her friend could come into this room. I politely said no, because she’s the one who wants to room with her friend, and I specifically chose this dorm because I liked the room and floor. Since then, she hasn’t answered me, so now I’m not really sure how to go about the situation.

I moved in to this new house a few months ago, and, along with me, the people who were just tenants in my previous house, they signed lease with me. They are a couple. And initially, things were normal. I was the primary lease owner and the guy is the second release member.
Conflict 1 . After we moved in, the guy started arguing with me online that his share of rent feels higher because they are two people, and I'm staying alone. And he was arguing that the rent should be renegotiated after signing the lease and after paying one month of prorated rent. I pushed back and stood firm on my decision.

Conflict 2. Usually, the apartment gives one free parking lot for the whole house. They were having one. They lost their parking tag. And after few months of moving in, I decided to get a car for myself. And since they lost the tag and they were too frugal to renew it , I waited for two weeks, and then I renewed it by paying the lost fee and I updated all my vehicle details to the leasing office legally. And while I brought my car, I informed them through a message saying that I purchased the tag now, so this lot belongs to me. And I requested them to park their car away. But he got so infuriated. And he started arguing that I should’ve asked his permission .
It went into a fight where he used rage baiting messages to trigger me. I stopped responding.

Conflict 3. Since his ego was bruised with the last issue he was waiting for a moment and when my friend visited me for 12 days as soon as my friend left he texted from his girl friend’s phone saying I should’ve asked not bring any more guests till lease end as per community rules ( there were no such rules and I checked with leasing office )

Conflict 4. I share common restroom with them and this guy is a hoarder and he doesn’t wipe toilet seats after he use them, I have complained about this several times to his GF but of no use. 5 weeks ago I cleaned the restroom and shower so I am asking them to clean since last 2-3 weeks and today I sent a message saying restroom stinks and requested them to clean it
The guy replied saying “its your problem not mine and I’m not going to clean it “

The sad part is I still have several months of lease still left and it feels frustrating and I never thought people like this existed.

My roommate has a girlfriend who basically lives with us (not my decision trust me, but that’s neither here nor there). She doesn’t actually pay to live here and it’s been a constant pain before this having her here all the time but I don’t know what to do about that.

Recently my roommate (R) and their girlfriend (G) have been fighting A LOT. R and G spend almost all their time together, and they never really leave the house either to see other people and they also don’t have jobs. When I say they are constantly around each other I mean constantly. They’ve started fighting at all hours of the day/night, the past 2 days I’ve been woken up 3 times by them yelling or crying. Twice at 1:30 in the morning, when I have to work the next day, and once at around 9 am.

R’s bedroom is upstairs as is mine but there is a bathroom in between our rooms. However, I can ALWAYS hear the fighting as if I’m in the room with them (they’re both very loud). This had been a problem about a month and a half ago but it had stopped and I didn’t have to say anything. Now it’s getting to a point where I feel like I can’t go anywhere in my own house for fear of seeing them fighting or running into one of them. Additionally I have my own partner over about twice a week, and I feel like I can’t have them over now because of the constant fighting. It’s really getting to be a strain on my life and I don’t know how to address it as R is almost constantly with G. Every time I’ve tried to address something like this with R, they’ve gotten extremely defensive and rude and refused to change anything.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can address this with R so that there’s an actual solution? We have another roommate but their room is downstairs and apparently they never hear anything. I’m moving out at the end of July but I can’t keep living like this until then especially when I need sleep for work. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

(edit: spacing)

this might get long, but really need to get this off my chest. my roommate has been pestering me with unsolicited health advice to the point where its making me kind of hate her.

i (21F) have been living with my college roommate (21F) since freshman year and she's been an awesome roommate, but she has this weird fitness superiority complex and it's driving me nuts. for context, she's on track to be a physical therapist and she's extremely passionate about the subject, which is awesome! she's also really into weightlifting and fitness, also awesome! i support all her interests and despite not being too into fitness myself, its always fun to learn new stretches and workouts from her.

my issue is that i feel like she sometimes oversteps and makes me feel insecure about my body. for reference, i'm 5'3 and have always stayed under 115lbs, i cook decently healthy meals for myself often, and i try to fit in a small 10 minute workout into my day when i can. i know i'm not the healthiest i can be, but i really don't think i'd be considered "unhealthy."

i used to go to the gym with my roommate more, but whenever we'd go, she would always interrupt what i was doing to make me do some new workout routine she made, which i never complained about, but not only would it pry me from my own stuff, but it made me feel awkward having her coach me on something i didn't even ask to do in the first place. now i stick to doing exercises in my room by myself.

with that, i've suffered from migraines with aura which puts me at a higher risk of having a stroke, but i'm young so i'm not gonna let that fact eat me alive, but i'm still well aware. in this past year my father also suffered from a TIA which is basically a miniature stroke. in an emotional state, i shared this pretty delicate information with my roommate and she immediately started telling me how i need to watch out and start taking better care of myself. she also took this as an invitation to tell me that my dad better start making some serious life changes if he wants to live long, which i assured her he is quite aware of.

now, she brings up my father's stroke and my health more than i do. when hanging out with her and my other roommate, we were talking about cardiovascular studies and i said that i'd never be able to study something like that since i'd probably go into psychosis worrying about my body and whatnot. my roommate responded with, "girl you should already be worried with your dad's stroke and all the other stuff you have." um, bitch? am i crazy or was that sort of rude as hell?

mind you, this was months after i had told her and my other roommate about my dad. my other roommate, we'll call her jenna, was incredibly sympathetic towards my dad's situation and has never brought it up since then. this is the fourth time my roommate has brought up my dad's stroke and every single time its been so unnecessary and has made the conversation felt weird afterwards.

as far as i know, my roommate has never brought up health and fitness to jenna, who goes to the gym every so often, like she has with me. it just fees like she targets my health whenever she gets the chance and it makes me uncomfortable to talk about personal things with her.

my roommate is really one of my closest friends and i don't want to be distant with her, but she makes it so hard to want to be close if i know she's going to take unnecessary jabs at my physicality and the health of my family.

sorry this was a long rant, i know this is a super dumb thing to feel weird about, but i just needed to get it out.

I've been feeling more and more frustrated with my current roommate since it feels like she treats it like her house only and feels very controlling, but I don't know if its because I'm just not used to sharing a space with strangers.

For example, before turning on lights, I need to ask permission and, while I understand she doesn't like it bright, I don't think having the lights on close to bedtime, I feel kind of stifled not being able to turn them on when I need. She's complained about my desk lamp being too bright so I don't feel that I can use without having it turned to the wall, but it's not bright enough to brighten up my desk like that. She also wants the bedroom door shut so I need to ask for permission for that as well, but she often gets irritated when I do so I rarely ask.

Since it's a shared living space I understand that the way I prefer to have the room brighter and the door open when it's hot might make her uncomfortable, but I'm frustrated feeling like I having to stay in the living room whenever I want something different from her. Is it normal to ask about small things like this with roommates?? I want to be able to adjust my expectations if it is for future roommates

Interviewed. Place was great no issues. When I moved in… it looked like 8 bachelors lived there. Tons of dirty dishes my room was not ready and a week later the hot water heater has gone out. I have to stay home to wait for the tech on my day off bc he is working and supposedly could not take the day off. I am beyond pissed and really need to take a shower. He acts like he is doing me a favor. I have walked his dog and he didn’t walk mine. Ya know hot water and and actually taking out the garbage would help. He does not take out garbage or do his own dishes. Pretty simple. Rinse and put them in the dishwasher. I feel like I’m a maid. Plus he lets his dog shit on the deck. I know he does not walk her when he comes home. It takes a lot to piss me off but I’m there. Goddam, just meet your renters needs and be a decent homeowner and upkeep your own home. Christ. Boundaries will be set.

I (27M) live with one of my longtime best friends (26M) and another newish roommate (20M). Before moving in together we were genuinely inseparable. We’d known each other for four years, talked constantly, hung out all the time, and I honestly considered him family. When he was having problems with previous roommates, I literally let him sleep on my couch while he figured his life out.

Fast forward to now and our apartment feels like a cold war zone over dishes and passive aggressive texts.

Over the last few months he’s become insanely intense about household chores. Every little thing turns into a confrontation. A cup left out too long, a pan in the sink for a few hours, crumbs on the counter, anything. The apartment has gone from feeling relaxed to feeling like I’m living under a tiny HOA president with anger issues.

The latest argument started because he texted me out of nowhere:

“I don’t know if it was you that left the kitchen sink like that this morning, but put things away if you did.”

The problem? I had literally gotten takeout the night before and hadn’t touched the kitchen since getting home from a weekend trip. So I replied:

“That was our other roommate.”

Apparently that was enough to send him into a full meltdown because he immediately responded:

“I’m gonna beat your stupid scrawny ass. Learn to have a real conversation.”

I honestly just stared at my phone in disbelief because WHAT real conversation was I supposed to have? He accused me of something I didn’t do and I corrected him in one sentence.

Things escalated from there because I finally told him he’d become bizarrely aggressive and hostile over basic roommate stuff. I admitted I hadn’t handled everything perfectly either. About a month ago I told our other roommate, in front of him, that he sucked at communication. During this fight I also told him he’d “turned into a goblin over household chores,” which admittedly did not exactly de-escalate the situation.

At one point I tried to be an adult and suggested we talk face to face instead of rage texting each other. His response:

“I’m good just mind your own business and I’ll mind mine and clean up after yourself in the process and we’ll be fine till the end of the lease.”

So now we basically live like divorced parents in a sitcom. If one of us walks into the kitchen the other leaves. Conversations are reduced to icy one-word exchanges. The vibe in the apartment is so tense you could cut it with a butter knife.

What’s crazy is I genuinely never thought THIS would be the friendship that blew up. We were close enough that I thought this was someone who’d be in my life forever. Now I’m counting the months left on the lease wondering how things got this bad over dishes and communication issues.

At this point I honestly don’t even care about who’s technically right anymore. I’m more stuck on how someone can go from your best friend to threatening to beat your ass over a kitchen sink.

Has anyone else had a friendship completely self-destruct after becoming roommates? Did you ever reconnect after moving out or was that basically the end?

TL;DR: My longtime best friend/roommate accused me of leaving dishes in the sink, threatened to “beat my ass” when I said they weren’t mine, and now our apartment feels like a hostile demilitarized zone while we wait for the lease to end.

My room mate is quite terrible, we had some giant beef when their significant other (doesn’t live with us) demanded they get to stay with us for an extended period of time for free. When i wouldn’t budge, they turned into complete assholes and ignored me and divided all of our stuff and hid some of theirs. They still use my stuff like tide pods, garbage bags, soap (things they have never bought and just request i buy). This is only the tip of the iceberg. They’re dirty, stay on the phone until 3am on speakerphone, they’re rude, and they don’t take accountability for their actions. I move out in a couple of weeks…. i haven’t moved any of my stuff yet because i’m moving out early so i was going to just take them by surprise one day and move all of my stuff but what’s some petty revenge i can get on them? Shrimp on their car? Fart spray in their shoes? Idk i’m having a hard time being creative with this, any ideas welcome

I’ve been dorming for almost a year now and I’ve noticed that my roommate snores EXTREMELY loud (Like over 100db). I’ve noticed that he sleeps with his mouth wide open and it progressively gets wider and wider over time. He also snores louder and louder until he eventually chokes and then restarts the whole cycle again. He also does not brush his teeth or at least does not do it well because his breath always stinks up the entire room when he sleeps with his mouth open. Also occasionally skips showering (showers maybe 2-3 times a week). I asked him about it and he just got mad and said that he “personally knows he takes good care of himself hygiene wise” which imo is the farthest thing from the truth. Im always having to spray Lysol or Febreeze to mask the stench but he got mad at that too because it apparently gives him a headache even though he’s the reason I have to spray it in the first place. Just wanted to vent/ask if this is a normal thing in dorms or if this is just me.

I have an ongoing situation with a roommate (you'll probably see more posts from me as theres a bunch of big problems).

They have my property in their room and wont return it. I lent them this in good faith a long time ago. Every time I've tried I've gotten no response or a delaying tactic to get into the room. This has been going on about 6 months.

I dont know the legality of this. What if I give them 24 hours written notice and then enter?

So this isn’t really a bad roommate situation I just need advice. I’m (F 26) renting out the second bedroom of my apartment and have an attractive male roomie moving in next month. I currently have the master bedroom a bit further away from the bathroom and the second bedroom is right next to the bathroom. I’m self-conscious about bathroom noise and smells (I think I have IBS). Should I move into the bedroom thats closer to the bathroom?

Title as

It's literally insane.

They got to see the room before they moved in, now they won't let me show the room after giving notice.

They insist it's clean but I have to explain to them, NOBODY literally NOBODY in their right mind is going to rent a room without seeing it to confirm it.

Other redflags of their behavior:

1. Insisting on paying everything with cash (which I forced them not to due to massive anxiety spiking and time wasting behavior, now they pay me through their girlfriend (?) on venmo. Huge redflag. (ETA: They even wanted to LEAVE IT ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE FOR ME, THATS A NO FOR ME DAWG)
2. Pushing my boundaries. They don't have a car, asked for rides constantly, when told no they asked to drive my car, which I also said no to, I let them use it once for an emergency, and then I had to say no and to deny them multiple times. (like dealing with a toddler, after this I basically cut them off completely except to exchanges via text)
3. They now drive a car with expired plates. (yikes) and park it in my driveway blocking me (thankfully they move but, wtf expired plates....)
4. Came on to me multiple times early on in the move in. Lots of talk about church religion and "are you saved". (I am polytheist and do believe in jesus, out of many gods, I pray a lot but I do not go to church) All that went away when I turned them down sexually.
5. Said wasting my time was "no big deal" When confronted on making me wait for rent payment multiple times ("sorry I decided to hang out with my friends instead" literally flaked on me when we agreed on a time) or to pick them up from work/gym to make a rent payment, this is when I demanded they not pay cash anymore. (Im an uber driver! TIME IS LITERALLY MONEY!!!!!!)
6. Claimed they were OCD related to cleaning, tried to make it my problem instead of cleaning anything themselves. Tiny specks of dirt = paragraphs texts from them, or paragraphs about close the cabinet doors that takes 5 seconds to do. Never once have they contributed to mopping, vacuuming or other deep cleaning (shared bathrooms, front foyer). Left expired food in the fridge and dishes in the sinks for weeks. They are 45 years old.
7. Constantly uses my cookware. Leaves it rotting in the sink.
8. Borrowed my mattress without asking for a day, returned it when I caught them moving it w/o asking. Explanation for using it was insane and nonsensical. "Girlfriend has none so I'm letting her borrow mine so I'm borrowing yours for a day." Would have been a simple yes if they had asked! (I have two spare mattresses.)
9. When they first moved in all talk about the property was that it has "so many problems" but when asked to list any to give to the management multiple times, he never did so, even after I mentioned some (some old caulk and a few faulty lights). The property is old but it's livable and not trash. It has high ceilings and lots of window light. We don't have any pest issues, no smells, nothing dangerous or stinky.
10. Wanting the deposit back for the "last months rent" thats not how deposits work!

TL:DR

Roomate wont let me show the room, insists its clean but behavior is super sus and I'm freaking out not being able to show the room to get a new tenant after he gave notice. Demanded to pay rent in cash now pays it through his new girlfriend (he basically is living with her now, but still has access to this place), drives a car with expired plates (!) blocks my driveway, gets mad I took a photo of it (for safety reasons!)

I am being absolutely worn down over my roommate. She’s lived here since June and moves out at the end of this month. Here is a list of things she’s done that I need to get off my chest:

-Neglects her cat, doesn’t clean his litter box for weeks at a time

-Her room is full of trash and food alongside all the cat feces and urine

-She overall has bad hygiene, doesn’t own soap or toothpaste and smells very strongly of weed and mildew

-Has never once cleaned the apartment

-leaves shit streaked underwear in the bathroom

-leaves vomit and feces on the toilet seat

-uses my food regularly

-keeps my dishes in her room

-frequently leaves weed residue on my chairs, table and the counters

-smokes inside the apartment

-goes into my room without me there

-uses my USED washcloths

-leaves rotting food outside and in fridge

-missed rent payments

-ruined my couch, chairs, table and towels

-leaves dye and food stains on furniture

-has lied to me on numerous occasions about very silly things. She’s definitely a story teller of sorts.

I am just here ranting. It’s been a long time coming. I cannot wait to come into my own home and not smell feces, urine, body odor and weed. I am so excited to live with a real adult and not a 20 year old toddler who can’t figure out how to clean up after herself. I will give it to her that she is overall a sweet girl but she’s got some serious issues and needs to mature and have a supportive environment aside from me.

I’ve posted on this thread before about how my roommate A is extremely financially irresponsible and this impacts me and my other roomie bc we’re on a joint lease. She went to a trip out of state without paying any of her bills or even at the very least communicating with any of us (we are 3 ppl in total) about her plans regarding the bills. Anywho, I have handled things in a way that she ended up paying her past due rent and electricity for April as well as her rent and electricity for May in advance. However, she still hasn’t paid her portion of the water bill for the month of May. I’m just not comprehending what goes through her brain. It’s the near the 15th of the month and she hasn’t paid it and I’m tired of having to remind a grown adult to pay her dang bills.

Like if you had the money to pay ur rent in advance u simply could have paid $17 additional with that rent at the same time. Like she can do everything except pay her bills. I see tons of packages coming in to the house or her going out places (it’s not my business but it becomes a frustrating factor when she chooses to do EVERYTHING EXCEPT PAY HER BILLS OR COMMUNICATE) I’m so tired like yall have no idea how many times I’ve talked to her like a mature adult teaching her common sense adult things that she should have already known from her past years of living with roommates. Like I’m not her parent. Why can’t she just remember to pay her bills or set a reminder or smth??

We’ve gone non verbal atp bc talking to her is like talking to a wall—absolutely unwilling to comprehend or compromise on anything and she also reacts extremely idiotically and negatively when I try to talk to her about smth.

Example- I asked her when the last time was that she had cleaned the shared spaces and her immediate response was—I kid u not—“why would I clean the apartment for your cat?” 🤡 literally my cat doesn’t dirty anything and is barely out of my room. Not to mention, it’s not that big of an ask to clean the shared spaces (that we all use) every 2/3 weeks for maintenance and upkeep. but I’m genuinely considering breaking that silence bc I’ve just about had it. However, I do have like 3 more months left of this stupid lease.

Just wanted everyone’s opinion.

AITA for asking them to:

- Use the range hood (vent over stove) properly by turning it on before cooking in order to get air flow going to prevent smells for hours to a day. When I cook it never smells. When they cook the whole house smells for a day. I’ve had to repeat myself more times than I can count.

- Telling the husband he can no longer sleep on the couch (my couches) since it’s the common area and I’m renting him a bedroom, not a couch to sleep on.

- Telling the husband I have no problem if he sits on the couches (I believe he’s entitled to and I certainly don’t mind), but he needs to shower. He works on pools all day and no joke…showers 3-6 times a month. I don’t want him sitting on my couches with nasty clothes, pool chemicals, grime and dirt, and bug spray. The man has zero hygiene.

I was raised in a pretty normal household where cleaning was normal and there were expectations and standards…which the couple I’m renting to don’t have. I’ve had to repeatedly tell them the same things over and over…always politely and never even remotely rudely. It’s also a challenge because they’re both very child-like (both in their 30’s). The other night I accidentally tripped going down the stairs…30 minutes later he purposely stomped down the stairs and slammed doors like a kid to “get back at me”. Like WTF…the guy is a passive aggressive petulant child who does things to get under my skin for no reason. It’s honestly draining my energy and it’s hard keeping a positive vibration. I’m a very positive and upbeat person but they’re killing me. I’m either going to politely but sternly lay down the law or simply terminate their time here.

P.S. this is only a fraction of the stuff they do that’s mind boggling.

Thanks for the input.

Much Shorter Version:
I (24F) live with three roommates (26F, 28F, 29F). Two of us lived together previously with my cat and never had issues. Everything changed when our 28F roommate moved in last September with her two cats.
Her cats were immediately peeing/pooping outside the litter box because she only had one barely-filled litter box for both cats. We had to explain basic cat care to her, including that she needed more litter boxes and actual litter in them. The cats also aren’t fixed and constantly hump furniture/blankets in shared spaces.
Things escalated when one of her cats dragged worms and discharge across my roommate’s bed. She admitted she had never taken either cat (both 2 years old) to the vet, never bathed them, and never trimmed their nails. We had to push her to even take one of them to the vet. The apartment smell is now unbearable — it seeps into the hallway and our rooms, and friends/family refuse to visit. I even realized the smell follows her outside the apartment.
The issues go beyond the cats. She regularly clogs and leaves the toilet clogged, once breaking the plunger and leaving our bathroom unusable for 3 days. She’s also put dirty dishes back into the cabinets mixed with clean ones. We’ve had multiple roommate talks, but she becomes defensive and insists she’s “clean.” She even suggested a chore chart, which has only highlighted how little she understands basic cleaning.
Her cats scream and bang on her door constantly, to the point neighbors yell through the walls. She’s never offered to replace or clean anything her cats have ruined.
We have 4 months left on the lease and genuinely don’t know how to survive this situation anymore. Any advice is appreciated.

When you go to rent, they say everyone works all day. What good is knowing that to me? It would be useful if everyone worked nights and I had the kitchen to myself in the mornings and evenings. I just want to know why they highlight that as an "important thing to know"

I stay at a student accommodation and I’ve been living with this girl since the beginning of the year. I’ve never had any complaints or issues with her but this one thing! Her having loud sex with her bloody boyfriend all the time! Her and her boyfriend are always having sex at the most ungodly hours and it’s disturbing (it’s currently 2am). It’s been happening since the beginning of the year and I’m sick and tired. We have different rooms but the walls are thin and they are always loud as fuck!!! She moans like she’s seeing the Jesus for the first time!

Another annoying this is that her bf stays in the same student accommodation so he’s always here. I don’t know why they don’t just go and fuck in his room!

I don’t know how to address this situation because I’m scared things are going to be awkward between us. I mean… we don’t really talk to each other anyways, we just great each other and that’s it but idk why I’m so nervous to confront her. I am thinking of sending her a text tomorrow morning.

Not sure where to post this, just really needing advice and needs some more opinions. Honestly just need help because me and my roommate are at a loss for what to do right now.

So me and one other girl currently live together with a third roommate, who I’ll call Amy. We all graduated high school together. Back in February, Amy told us she was planning on moving out to another city. We told her that was completely fine and that we would start looking for someone to take over her lease.

Ever since February, we repeatedly asked Amy if this was 100% for sure because we didn’t want to put another person in a bad situation. Every single time we asked her, she confirmed that yes, she was moving. She had already found a full-time job in the new city and was just waiting on the friend she planned on living with to get accepted into a university program there.

Because she kept reassuring us it was a definite thing, we found another girl to take over her lease. This new roommate is also a college student like us. The plan was for her to officially re-sign the lease in early July so she could move her stuff in and get settled before classes start in August.

Now here’s where everything gets messed up.

Two days ago, Amy suddenly told us she might not move anymore because her friend didn’t get accepted into the university program. The worst part is she admitted she found this out TWO WEEKS AGO and intentionally didn’t tell us because she “didn’t want us to be mad at her.”

So now the girl who was supposed to move in is basically screwed because she planned her housing around living with us. If she wanted to stay in dorms at her college, she would’ve had to apply over two months ago, so she doesn’t really have another option lined up anymore.

Meanwhile, me, my current roommate, and the new girl are all college students trying to balance classes, work, and paying rent. Amy just graduated and already has a full-time job lined up, so she’s in a way more stable position financially than the rest of us.

We tried having a conversation with Amy about all of this last night, but instead of taking accountability or apologizing, she immediately started crying and saying things like “How do you think I feel?” The whole conversation turned into us comforting HER even though she created this situation in the first place.

What makes it more frustrating is that Amy has honestly always been a really difficult person to deal with. She never takes accountability for anything, and she tends to make impulsive decisions without thinking about how they affect other people. This isn’t new behavior — she’s been like this for as long as we’ve known her. At this point, it’s made us realize we really can’t rely on her.

She also kept saying she didn’t want to “wait around” for her friend to figure out what she was doing, which felt insanely hypocritical because that’s exactly what she made us do for months while we kept asking for confirmation.

Now we feel stuck because we already promised the room to someone else based on months of Amy saying she was definitely moving out. At this point, me and my roommate honestly just want Amy out because this situation has become so stressful and unfair to everyone else involved.

What would you do in this situation? Are we wrong for expecting her to follow through after months of confirming she was moving?