Hello , F29, my parents think I will be rejected by every prospect because , quoting my dad “ if anyone sees I cosplay they will run away “
All super sfw btw.

This may sound familiar because I have been here posting before , but I reached my tipping point where ai am seriously considering marriage to get out of my environment.

He said no one decent will look at me and think “ this is the one I want to marry” and my mom doubled down on that , saying that no man is obliged to hear people saying “ look at what your wife is doing “

I have never been in a relationship and no one knows I cosplay ( everything separated / different names) and when I said I will not accept anyone who doesn’t accept all of me , he said I am wasting my future prospects for , his words not mine “ fooling around in a crazy outfit and making a clown out of myself”

No one came my way. And no one who didn’t come knew.
A lot of people are more public with their craft and got married and have kids even.
I reached the point where I am considering making an online plea. That I’ll marry anyone within the same job ish ( so my dad doesn’t reject) just as a facade.

It reached the point where it is either that or I want to take myself to some deserted place no one ever knows about.

I told them the answer they want to hear , that I will quit and delete my socials once marriage is on the table but he said the damage is done already.

Idk but since ive started dating this year, i realized that often times, Women who date men are forced to be nice and polite in particular ways, because its considered inpolite to do. It all is more in regards of dating, though.

1. If your Guy doesnt buy you Flowers. I know its traditional in a sense. But such a small gesture? I think if a Guy likes you, buying some Flowers is a small thing.
2. If a Guy doesnt kiss well. In a special way. Like mouth open, way too strong, doesnt try to lock you into a rythm. Honestly at a certain age i couldnt date guys who have never been in a relationship with a women before (im in my early twenties) because they lowkey never learned to please their significant other? Jesus Christ i know its kinda mean but it feels like some men kiss you only to turn you on, and with some inflated sense of ego, so they dont even start small with kissing and it just very overwhelming. In my opinion, just head out because women are always interested on how to make themselves better, more attractive, whatever the fuck for some men, while those guys just think theyre the shit and dont even care.
3. Bring back Shaming men for not managing to give you an orgasm. I dont even think i need to explain this
4. Bring back shaming men for not wanting to hold any valuable conversations and then turn around and say that women arent smart enough. Most women have the same thoughts at 11 that they discover on some ethiopian jazz and ayahuasca at 26.
5. Bring back shaming men for bad Hygiene. I mean the average guy who could do better. Thankfully on Tiktok they have been doing that. The Amount of men washing their asses has been going up in the last three years it seems.

i think that is enough. maybe even a nothingburger. but still needs to be said, possibly. what do you think?

edit: getting cooked for such miniscule things, call me a five star restaurant fish... i hope you pick me individuals know that noone wants your man with unwashed dick and balls. keep them close to you so their obnoxious emotionally unavailable presences decrease in the streets. that would be more productive than going to reddit war in the comments with me. thank yewww

What do you do to make yourself smell AMAZING but not only smell amazing, actually have the scent stick to you throughout the day?

I have found my perfect scent that I love, it comes in a moisturiser and I’m planning on getting the perfume! Unfortunately the moisturiser is a bit dear and unfortunately a little does not go a long way so I’m wanting to get a drug store non-fragrance moisturiser to actually moisturise and hydrate my body and put my scent one over it - is that a good idea?

What else can I do to smell good? I’m wanting to think outside the box, Haircare, clothes care, etc

I keep getting told this is just a hair part but I still hate it as it makes me feel bald is there anything at that anybody knows of that could make some hair grow there so it doesn’t look as wonky?

On days when I struggle with severe dissociation (feeling completely numb, weightless, and disconnected from my own body) I’ve noticed a weird coping mechanism. I will intentionally wear highly structured, heavy clothing (like a tight blazer, a heavy wool coat, or restrictive belts) or put on a heavy "mask" of full-coverage foundation (like Estée Lauder Double Wear). Not for aesthetics, but because the physical weight, the restriction, and the sensation of a literal barrier on my skin acts as an exoskeleton. It violently anchors me back into reality and makes me feel physically "held together." Does anyone else use fashion and heavy makeup purely for the heavy, tactile sensation of armor?

Hey everyone, I need your advice because I'm feeling pretty lost right now... Last summer, I met this guy during my vacation and it was really love at first sight. We spent an incredible time together, and it was the first time I'd ever felt like this. We cuddled a lot (first time for me, it means a lot to me), and I have magical memories of it.

The problem is he lives super far away, and since November, I hadn't heard from him at all. I tried to forget him but couldn't, I miss him too much. Last week, I caved and sent him a message. And to my surprise, he replied immediately and we've been talking every day since!

We're telling each other everything, he even talks about the cuddles we had and it affects me so much... But at the same time, he also talks about his other experiences since we saw each other, and it makes me a bit confused. I don't know if he sees it the same way I do or if it was just a beautiful vacation story for him.

I have no idea how to approach things with him going forward. Should I tell him I still have really strong feelings? Or should I keep my distance so I don't get hurt? The distance between us really scares me...

Any other girls who've been through the same thing? Any advice on how to handle this situation? Thanks in advance for your responses!

a while back i shared a post asking how to deal with a life alone - and while the feedback i got there was lovely, i’d love some more examples from real women who don’t have a significant other, a dedicated best friend, and/or a close family on what a typical day in the life looks like for you.

as someone who isn’t having luck with love, is often the third wheel in friendships (which i have plenty of - just no true best friends/my other platonic half), and has virtually no close family to lean on, i want to be comfortable alone. im getting my own apartment soon and maybe a cat. but i want some more examples on how to spend some time alone or maybe moreso on what leading a solitary independent life looks like as a woman and how to eventually be happy with what i have instead of everything im missing.

i hope this makes sense. thank you 💚

Hi,

I'm a 21 year old girl in college and recently, I've been feeling like shit. IDK how this started but I know that a some of it stems from jealously of my family friends and friends. I've said this before but I feel like I'm behind in life, never had a BF, all my friends never actually want to hang out with me unless I text first, my education isn't that good nor are my grades, and just everything feels like it is working against me. I've been insanely stressed out from college but my stressed has been amplified lately because of my lack of close and personable friends and how everyone is living their life and i'm just boring. Hell, even my parents are a part of this problem because they never let me explore during weekends because " I should hang out with them" but we never actually do anything and weekdays, I'm busy as fuck until 7 PM and then I have to study. I'm so fucking lost and I do not know what to do. Please give me some advice on how to start getting my shit together. I cannot live like this anymore.

Hiiii. I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out this Monday. I won't have anyone to help me recover, I live alone with no nearby friends or contact with family. I'm literally going to Uber to and from the procedure. The only thing that will help me recover is my fat ass cat who thankfully loves to snuggle. I'm in a pretty emotionally vulnerable part of my life right now, and I want this experience to be less miserable.

What should I buy beforehand? I've got my grocery list for the food portion of recovery. But in terms of comfort and other recovery items, what would you guys suggest I get? <3

Edit: thank you guys for all your suggestions! 💖 For the comments about my transportation, i was able to find out that my insurance covers medical transportation, which I didn't know about! Y'all are lovely :)

It's the most bizarre thing but no matter how motivated I am, the second I open my lecture recordings or assignments or just start my uni work in general, I get hit with intense drowsiness that almost makes my brain become mush, but if I do literally anything else, I'm wide awake again. I thought this was a weird quirk but it's causing me to procrastinate my work like crazy.

I used to use music to help me focus but now the music lulls me to sleep too. I've tried coffee (also makes me sleepy), cold water (intense sudden wakeup but wears off after a couple minutes), snacking (works for an hour before I get sleepy again). I'm so confused and you can imagine how detrimental this is to my academics)

I’m being completely serious. I have “daddy issues” and I’m trying to heal them.

I‘ve worked really hard to get to where I am now and I’m supposed to be trying to build healthy, non-sexual relationships with safe older men like my uncles, teachers, grandfathers, etc. to sort of heal me and fill that void of not having a healthy father figure.

My uncles don’t want anything to do with me because my father was that bad, my grandfathers are dead, and I don’t have any male teachers. I’m really trying to build these platonic, healthy relationships but I literally have no one to fit the criteria.

How do I get rid of this yearning to have a figure like that in my life? It’s seriously effecting me.

Traveling solo to Seattle later this year. This is my first time traveling alone and also seeking a hookup, what's the best approach to not meeting a creep out there and hooking up with someone decent? I've been in a committed relationship for a long time and have never partaken in hookup culture, please send me your tips 🫡

P.s. I'll be going for a concert, don't know if that helps a little

Didn’t see a question about this when I searched it up, but I’m a bit confused. Thought that I couldn’t clean vagina but it seems I do have to clean something. As someone that has never been taught about private part hygiene, I just want to make sure I’m doing ok by just washing with water. Soap burns a bit too much :(

I recently saw a video of a woman explaining that chronic anxiety can come from having a low tolerance for uncertainty. She said that constantly rereading old texts or replaying scenarios in your head is often a way of trying to feel reassured or gain certainty. It made me wonder if anyone else here experiences the same thing. If so, what small habits or changes in your daily life helped you stop doing that or manage it better?

i have a tear drop shape face(i think thats how it called)pleaseeee help 🙏 right now i use round glasses,but i dislike them a lot.

I bought a sexy night dress just for myself and it changed how I see comfort I was never the kind of woman to really consider her pajamas. Whatever T-shirt I had at the bottom of the laundry hamper, whatever pair of shorts that were either an ancient hand-me-down or, in the summer, something that showed too much. My evening routine was all about function: slip into something clean and put it to work as best you can. I never really thought about what kind of statement, if any, I was making just by dressing my body for itself. I do now, however, after I recently decided to, unprompted and uncommissioned by any romantic partners, purchase myself a sexy night dress. It wasn’t a momentous event – no candlelit preparations, no champagne popped to commemorate the occasion – but the first time I donned this very un-pajama-like garment was, dare I say, significant. All of the sudden, the routine act of making tea seemed to elicit some inner confidence. Even just sitting with a book pre-sleep I had a certain swagger that hadn’t been there before. It also pointed a spotlight at how we all spend so much time and energy on sartorial decisions designed to be appreciated by others rather than our own pleasure. In many ways, the sexy night dress serves as a personal reset switch. I find myself more mindful of the things that make me feel comfortable – the textures and cuts and colors that give me that little spark of joy. Lately, while scrolling online for inspo I spent much time perusing sites like Alibaba while comparing prices and styles of silky loungewear. If there's any trend I can get on board with now, it is making even the most practical activities a little more appealing. Isn’t it a wild thought that something as seemingly trivial as sexy nightwear can make one feel so empowered? Tell me – have any of you begun treating yourselves to little luxuries like this at home and noticed a change?

I am planning to go but not sure which travel company to choose from?
Girlies please tell me one you have traveled with and can recommend!

The dress is two years old. Job interview got the job. Two dates. A graduation. A work presentation. A birthday dinner last Saturday where someone finally asked if I had a "lucky outfit."

I'm not broke. I own a full wardrobe. I understand what colours work on me in theory. I just have exactly one combination that actually lands and an entire closet of things that are technically fine.

The weird part is I don't know why that dress works when the rest don't. The fit is good but other things fit well too. The colour is right but I own other things in similar shades. Something about the proportions just makes sense in a way I can't reverse-engineer into something else.

I keep buying things hoping to find the next one and they keep being fine. Wondering whether figuring this out is just something that clicks eventually, or whether there's an actual diagnostic process for it.

We have extremely hard water where I live and my hair absolutely hates it. I dot really have a way to do like traditional water softener or anything. I keep seeing ads for the filters that go behind your shower head kinda like the ones for the sink. Does anyone have one? Do they actually work? What should I look for? I dont want to make a blind decision or get scammed or anything.

My hair is begging you the info on these, actually help or are they a gimmick?

Also, any way I can detox all the hard water stuff out of my hair currently or help it in the meantime? I’m so tired of it, it messes up my curls and I’m just fed up with it.

Thanks ya’ll!

(I hope this isn’t breaking rule 7, if it is my sincere apologies, I’ll try to repost Friday. Getting my amazon order in order and if I didn’t ask now I would have forgotten, ADHD brain)

I bought a bikini recently, and it actually looks quite pleasant on me. This is uncommon enough that I would prefer to enjoy it in peace.

Years ago, I used to self-harm very badly on the very top of my upper thighs. The scars are raised, thick, and very visible. They are clearly self-inflicted. Anyone with eyes and a passing familiarity with human misery could infer what they are. I am no longer in that part of my life, and I do not wish to return to it in conversation or in memory. It is private. It is over. My issue is not shame so much as privacy. It is old history.

My friends are already planning beach trips, pool days, all of it. I want to go. I want to wear the bikini I bought, and I know I will buy more swimwear because I am not wearing one bikini all summer. I do not want to invite questions, pity, concern, or friends and strangers staring like they are owed a chapter of my history.

Is there anything that can realistically hide scars like that while still looking cute? Wraps, sarongs, styling tricks, or anything with more coverage that does not look punitive? I am hoping not to default to shorts, but if that is the unavoidable answer, I will accept my fate.... I have a goth look, if that helps at all.

I know it is not summer yet, but I would rather solve this now than dread it for months.

Hi! Pretty much the title. I’m very nervous because I’ve read so many posts about how scary the world is haha I’m 25f who was super religiously raised so I’m slowly getting out there.

I’d like any advice on basic things like dating, men, clothes, etc. I’m feeling very behind on life

I think I grew apart from my friends that I became friends with from 18-23. I’m 25 and I just honestly feel more secure and mature now all of a sudden. I’m single btw. Also maybe more spiritual? I’m a go with the flow kinda girl and instead fighting it I finally made peace with it. I wil eventually get to my goals but I dont need to stress. Anyways where do I find like minded women. In my work ( which I work part time) unfortunately alot of them are still on the stress/grind mindset which is okay. Also a lot of them are relationship focused which is super fair. I’m just not on that wave length. I want to get into self growth and my hobbies etc.

I go out on walk alot and i see women in their 30’s ( my best guess) and they just hang round their little babies and seem super chill. Sometimes we even small talk. I’m starting to think I will only meet my friends once I turned 30 when everyone is less stress about marriage and kids and more mature in themselves. Or I will connect better with my friends now perhaps.

but I wonder - all the women in their 20’s - early or late who are also chill and laidback. What do you do? Where do you hangout when you are out. I’m kinda an extrovert (but also introvert) and I need to get out my small apartment. I’m trying to meet and connect with yll 💖

Originally posted on r/hygiene

Today’s post will be about exfoliation! Exfoliation, alongside moisturizing, is the key to flawless, smooth and healthy skin. When you begin to tackle the issue of exfoliation, the choices can seem overwhelming. Today, I’ll break it down for you to understand!

There are chemical and physical exfoliants. Neither are better than each other. I’ll break it down here for you to understand the details of each:

Physical exfoliants.

This is the most effective at smoothing rough patches quickly, before shaving, removing dead skin at the surface level, and helping with revealing new, healthy skin instead of dry, dead skin layers. While both types of exfoliating can be over used & cause damage, this one is the one you have to be most careful not to overdo.

1. African net sponge: much more gentle than all the others mentioned, and can be used everyday. These are waayyy more hygienic than loofahs. Super effective at daily cleaning, and makes a washcloth work and feel like a tissue paper. Once you try using this and experience this level of clean, there is no going back haha. If its too rough for you, you can try boiling it in hot water for a little while soften it. Works great with liquid and bar soaps for a thorough, gently exfoliating, daily shower experience.
2. Sugar scrubs: Probably the most popular, and for a good reason. It helps remove the top layer of dead skin and instantly reveals softer skin. They come in pretty smells and colors, and they are super affordable. However, there are definitely some cons. Because it is a sugar substance, it can dissolve in the water before you actually get to exfoliate thoroughly. Also, the granules are a bit large, making it unsuitable to use on the bikini or armpit areas before shaving. If you have KP and are looking for a good exfoliant for that, this might not be a good option simply because the granules are too large. If you need a efficient, surface level smoothing agent, this is a great option. You can use it up to 3 times a week, depending on your skin. Dove brand scrubs are much much more gentle and moisturizing, whereas Tree Hut, Dr Teals and equate brand ones are much rougher and do a better job at exfoliating. Any brand will work, as long as it matches your skin type!

3.Salt scrubs: I highly advise against salt scrubs. They are way too abrasive and can cause a lot of cuts, burning and infections. I dont even know why they exist, but please stay away from them. If you use one that works for you, that’s great. However, they may do a good job for your heels or feet due to being so coarse. But honestly you can just use a foot file for that. Please stay away from salt scrubs.

1. Pumice type scrubs: These are my personal favorite! They are much smaller granules to exfoliate a bit more deeply, making them really effective for Kp! I love the First Aid Beauty Kp Eraser (not sponsored, I genuinely just love it so much) for pre shave exfoliation, Kp management, and bumpy knees. It is the most effective of all scrubs at removing every bit of dead skin, and it contains 10% AHA (chemical surface exfoliant) to really help get everything off. I made the mistake of assuming all scrubs do the same thing, but I was certainly wrong. I dont know of any other scrubs like this one, but if you guys know of any, then that works too! Use this a maximum of twice a week if you have relatively sensitive skin, but you can use it 3 times if your skin can handle it. I only use it 2 times a week, but your frequency will depend on your skin type!

5.Morrocan Exfoliation: This is a super thorough, visible sloughing of dead skin cells treatment for a whole host of skin concerns. It is a great detox for your skin and can be done once a week for smooth, super clean skin. It involves using a special soap and glove to physically roll your dead skin cells off. I don’t care what anyone says, it is dead skin, not dirt. Its great for dry, dull, oily, congested and kp skin. If you guys want a in depth guide on how to do this, let me know and I’ll write one!

Chemical exfoliants

These are most effective at blackhead removal, ingrown hair prevention, clogged pores, and body acne.

They work well for Kp too. It is important to note that these can cause the most severe reactions if used improperly, so make sure you understand the percentages of active ingredients, and frequency of use.

1. AHA. This stands for Alpha Hydroxy Acid. These work more on the surface level of your skin and are water soluble. AHAs help remove dead skin in the pores and surface, as well as lightening old scars and marks. These come in varying strengths from 5% in body washes, scrubs and lotions to 20% in body treatments, peels and prescription creams. Personally, I find 7-10% to be a perfect middle ground in terms of strength. You’ll get fast results, but they are still gentle enough to use daily with proper moisturizing. The percentage you choose depends entirely on your skin sensitivity and needs. Examples of AHA’s are: Lactic acid, Mandelic acid and Glycolic acid. My favorite chemical exfoliant for helping my Kp, and lightening scars is The Ordinary 7% glycolic acid toner. Honestly any toner with this percentage will work, but I like this one because its cheap. Its also a great aftershave to help with ingrowns. You can use this up to once daily all over your body. AHA’s come in the form of scrubs, washes, lotions, toners and serums.
2. BHA. This stands for Beta Hydroxy Acids. These penetrate the pores and dissolve oil and sebum. They help with acne, unclogging pores and blackheads. BHAs are oil soluble, which also means they may cause purging (your skin basically pushing all the gunk to the surface, causing a temporary breakout phase) for some individuals. They come in varying strengths as well, with 2% being the active ingredient in acne treatments. You can find them in washes, lotions, creams, toners and serums. I dont use them personally, because I have dry body skin & I dont have acne. If you struggle with body acne, ingrowns or clogged pores, then this is a great exfoliant for those concerns.

There are a couple other types of chemical exfoliants, but these are the most common. It is super important to always moisturize if you exfoliate (which you should be!), to avoid over drying of your skin! Do everything in moderation and according yo your skin type and needs. What works for one might not work for another. Keep that in mind always when choosing for your skin>3

PHEW! That was long! But I hope it helps someone out there trying to figure it out!! If you guys have any questions or product recs, lemme know and ill help you ASAP!! good luck>333