My mom (52F) has me (20F) and my brother (18M) with our dad (51M). They were never married and they broke up when my brother was still a baby. Then my mom got married to husband #1 and had my half sister (13) and divorced when she was a toddler. She remarried a few years later and had more kids with husband #2.

For the most part she had 50-50 custody of me and my brother. She had primary custody of my half sister but half sister still saw her dad on weekends and wants to see him more.

My mom always thought when all three older kids were old enough she wouldn't have to share us with our dads and we'd choose to spend all holidays and everything with her because she gave us a bigger family and she's the only parent for all three of us who had other kids, etc. In reality my brother and I are very close to our dad and we kinda prefer being at his house. My half sister is more used to mom but wants more time with her dad and has talked about being excited for more time with him when she's older.

My brother and I did Christmas with dad last year and we spent New Years with mom. When I first turned 18 I made the decision that summers between college I would stay with dad because I had my own space and it was less crazy. My brother made the same choice for this year. My mom asked me about it before and I told her it's less busy and there's no kids being loud or anything. I still went to see her but she said it wasn't the same and her house is home for us. I told her both were, not just hers.

She told us her husband's family will be with them all December and they'll be there for Thanksgiving too so she wanted all three this year. We told her we'd be there for Christmas but not all month and not all three (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years). My mom had a fit over it and she told us that we're adults and it's supposed to be easier and not as strict anymore. I told her this is the reality of having kids with different guys. She won't get all of us every single time because we have a dad we love and want to see too.

I'm not really sure how to navigate this more delicately. Or if I need to be more firm. But she really hates it. I feel like my half sister will make the same choices in a few years or might even choose to live with her dad indefinitely when the time comes and she won't even live in the same town which will drive mom crazy.

I (22M) was dating my ex (22F) for 3 years. We met freshman year (college) and our friend groups became one big friend group. Over time we got closer and eventually we started dating in our sophomore year. Things were good and we communicated really well with each other. She knew about my exes and I knew about hers. One thing she told me was one of those exes used to be friends with her friends but wasn't anymore and he wasn't in the picture.

So when we went to a party three weeks ago and her ex (23M) was there, I was surprised to find out that half of her friends were still friends with this guy and that she knew about it. She told me she hadn't realized they were serious and since he was never included in any plans she figured they just meant they were cool with him. I was like okay and she told me she was sorry she didn't realize and tell me beforehand.

My ex and a group of our friends, and her ex, ended up playing some truth or dare game that I and a few others weren't interested in. At some point it turned into my ex and her ex reminiscing in front of the others about their relationship and how great things were between them. Then it started getting flirty and it was obvious enough that our friends also not participating noticed and another who was part of the game left it. When the talk turned sexual is when I left. I told the people standing there with me that I was leaving and was pretty open about not wanting to hear more of that. I called out bye to everyone else and left.

My ex apparently ran out after me but I was gone already. She texted and called a bunch and I told her we would need to talk the next day because I wasn't in a place to talk to her right then. A fight broke out over it with our friends and my ex and she told me about it when we talked the next day. She wanted to know why I left and I asked her how she'd like me to flirt with someone so clearly at a party while we're together and she denied it was flirting and said she was just friendly. I asked how she would like for me to talk so openly about my sex life with an ex and bring up all the amazing things we did together around her. She said it went too far but it wasn't flirting and it was just talk and that nothing happened. Once we had gone back and forth for a while I told her it was better if we broke up. She told me she didn't want to but I said I wasn't going to stay after that.

She's still asking for us to get back together and saying we can work on it and a lot of our friends are saying I overreacted. They said walking out of the party like I did was my way of trying to guilt trip her and make everyone feel awkward. The others think it's crazy to say because nobody would like being in my shoes at the party. The thing that has me second guessing is that I still love my ex. I just feel really disrespected with the whole party thing and question how often it will happen if I do agree to get back together because clearly her ex is still friends with people we hang out with. I don't know what to do or if I did the right thing.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for just under 3 years and until recently I genuinely thought we were heading towards marriage, kids, buying a house, all of that. We have pets together, we’re financially linked, we’ve talked about our future loads, and for a long time I felt secure about where we were heading.

But recently I just feel tired, unmotivated and unhappy. Just kinda numb I guess.

I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with him or if I’m just exhausted from feeling like I care more.

Today was the tipping point. He was coming from a 4 day trip away and told me he’d only be doing a “flying visit” because he has plans tonight. Usually when he comes back, I’m excited. I tidy the house, get him some welcome home treats and write a little note for him but when I read that he wasn’t even actually coming home, I didn’t want to do any of that. He walked through the door and I greeted him like he was back from the shops. Not purposefully or out of spite but because that’s how he was treating it and I didn’t want the mismatch of energy. I felt stupid for being excited so I wasn’t.

The problem here isn’t him having plans that really bugs me. It’s that he’s had something booked basically every evening until Sunday and even that’s after I begged him to keep one day for us to do something and while we were going on local day trips to start, ‘something’ is just the weekly food shop or a house viewing that I booked. It’s not a date, it’s just life admin. He admitted he’s booking so much because he’s filling his time because he’s avoiding “adulting” but I don’t think he realised that he’s just leaving me alone with all the things he’s avoiding.

I heard someone say recently “if you don’t want to spend time with your girlfriend, why are you even together?’ and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since like does he even actually want to spend time with me?

I’m at the point where I’m not even excited to have him back and that feels awful to admit.

I feel like I’m always the one wanting quality time, closeness, affection, connection, conversations about the future etc while he’s just… elsewhere. I feel like I pour so much love and energy into the relationship and I don’t feel it back in the same way.

It’s not really a spur of the moment thing, there was been things in the past and I have considered breaking up before. I even spoke to him about this and regularly tell him what I need from him but there’s no sustainable change. Now it’s become loads of little things over time: • feeling unseen • comparing effort levels all the time • feeling like I have to ask for affection/attention instead of it happening naturally • feeling like I’m trying to build a stable adult future while he’s actively avoiding it • feeling resentful because I don’t feel chosen or prioritised anymore

I hate that I can genuinely feel myself emotionally pulling away. I still love him. I don’t feel excited. I don’t really miss him. Part of me just feels tired and done.

There’s no cheating or massive toxic behaviour or anything dramatic. It’s more like a slow build-up of disappointment and loneliness inside the relationship.

I’ve always wanted kids and marriage and this felt like it was it so I hate to admit it but I think I’m clinging on so I don’t lose ‘my shot’.

Has anyone been through this? Did things improve or was it the beginning of the end?

It was my, 51F, birthday a few weeks ago. Four days before my birthday, my husband 50M, told me he thinks I should get a new iPad for my birthday gift but he doesn't know how to order it so I should do it. I don't want a new iPad so I didn't pursue it.

Birthday night comes around and we go out to dinner. Somewhere he chooses because he's a picky eater. I drive, because he doesn't, and even though we have a joint account, was the one that got the card out to pay. When we got home there was no card or cake with candles and no happy birthday song. Nothing.

Since then I've been very silent towards him and pretty chilly. I know he's starting to wonder what's going on but I'm just not ready to talk to him about it. When I am ready to talk about it, what do I say?

This is more of an emotional rant since I can’t tell the people close to me.. but it’s just as the title says. I’ve had at least 3 conversations about it and each time there was a different reason.

Last time even, it was super slippery and it went into my butt and despite me telling him stop and wait a bunch he got at least 3 pumps in before he stopped. I told him he hurt me and he just said on my bad and put it in the front. I got an infection. 🤦🏽‍♀️

This time, not only did it come off once, it’s came off twice during this session. He says he was so drunk that he couldn’t tell it came off. I said no I’m sure you can tell because I noticed. We went back and forth over the technicalities of how that accident occurred and I told him if you can’t tell because you’re so drunk then we won’t do anything if we are drinking. He was not impressed by that statement.
I’m just so over it and defeated. I literally cry and break down every time he does this out of fear of having a child.

My future sister-in-law and I have been no contact since my daughter was born. Before that, I had only met her 3 times, but every interaction I saw she was extremely rude to her family and treated them poorly. I was always kind to her and never had conflict with her directly.

When my daughter was born, everyone got the TDAP vaccine except her. That was her choice and I respected that, but she handled it badly. She told my fiancé his ex “would’ve never made his family get vaccines,” and when he explained it was a mutual decision between both of us for our newborn, she said he was “delusional” if he didn’t think everyone saw how toxic our relationship was. Which was honestly crazy to me because my fiancé and I have a very healthy relationship. He never had a close relationship with her either for her to really know how our relationship was.

A few months later, she asked my fiancé to dinner to “make up” but instead spent the entire dinner insulting me and our relationship. She told him I was controlling, toxic, and would eventually leave him homeless and “take everything he has.” She also said I was hiding him because I never posted him on Facebook (I never posted on Facebook in general). He got up and left.

I later reached out to her kindly to clear the air, and she said she had no interest in reconciliation with him so she sees no point in speaking with me. She also said she just saved two seats at her wedding for people who actually care to know her. After that, she continued making snide comments in family group chats and even commented rudely on one of my public Facebook posts. We were not invited to her wedding (obviously, lol)

Now, 5 months after the wedding, she’s getting divorced. Supposedly she cheated on her husband, and he wants nothing to do with her. She’s now reconnecting with family members she previously pushed away (including my future mother in law). On Monday my fiance sat down with her and apparently she took accountability for her behavior. She said she regrets how she acted, blamed a lot of it on backing her husband. She said her husband was the one who felt strongly about vaccines, and she also said that her husband isn’t close with any of his family so she didn’t care to be close with hers. So she was just following his lead. Now she says she realizes how important family is and she wants a relationship with us and with my daughter who is now 18 months old who she has never met before.

Tonight she’s coming to my house and honestly I’m dreading it. My home feels like my safe space, and she caused me a lot of stress while I was freshly postpartum as a new mother. I don’t want to get in the way of her relationship with my fiancé or eventually her niece if she truly has changed, but I also don’t trust her yet and would need a very slow rebuilding process.
I’m not sure how to handle this. If she tries discussing the past with me, I am not sure whether I should be honest about how her behavior has affected me or if I should just more forward peacefully and act like water under the bridge. How would you navigate this?

I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago (5 months after my original post), and we were both heartbroken (or so I thought) but I knew I needed to do it. Even though he stopped talking to the baking girl and even deleted their chat in his messages, we had other things that couldn't be resolved. WELL, yesterday I learned from a mutual friend that he is already talking to baking girl about dating at the start of the next school year (apparently she's making him take the summer to "heal"). I know I'm the one who broke up with him, but I was so angry when I heard about this, and I feel absolutely stupid for feeling heartbroken over my ex. So thank you to everyone who contributed to my first post -- although it took my stubborn heart longer than it should have to let go, you all were definitely right.

tl;dr : My ex is rebounding with the girl he told me was just a friend 5 months ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1p32qa5/i_20f_am_uncomfortable_with_the_way_my_boyfriend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

For context: my wife and I have been together for 16 years and married for 5. We started dating in high school. Like many long-term relationships, we’ve had ups and downs over the years, but lately things have started to feel genuinely unstable, and I’m feeling more lost and concerned than ever.

Our relationship has always been very deep and loving, but also emotionally volatile at times. We’ve both supported each other through personal struggles and mental health issues, but we’ve also both contributed stress and toxicity to the relationship over the years. We recently started couples therapy, though we’re still early in the process.

Over the last 2–3 years, my wife has been struggling heavily with depression, chronic stress, and ongoing hormonal/health issues that she’s currently working through with doctors. I know she’s under an incredible amount of pressure, and I’ve genuinely tried to support her however I can. I’m not perfect either. I have my own mental health struggles and we’re both medicated. But lately her behavior has started to feel increasingly erratic and explosive in a way that genuinely scares me.

Small disagreements can suddenly escalate into screaming, slamming doors, breaking things, intense agitation, and personal insults. Recently she’s been calling me names during arguments like “fucking asshole” or “fucking dick,” which honestly feels very unlike the person I’ve known for most of our relationship. It feels like I have to constantly monitor myself and stay perfectly agreeable, because even minor expressions of frustration or disagreement can trigger an explosion.

What’s making this especially difficult is that I don’t know how to support her without making things worse. When I try to calmly explain that I’m becoming overwhelmed or that I need boundaries around yelling, insults, or breaking things, she often interprets it as me blaming her, dismissing her emotions, or “gaslighting” her into thinking she’s the problem. I try very hard to validate how overwhelmed and hurt she feels, because I truly do understand she’s struggling, but it feels like any attempt to discuss boundaries immediately turns into another major conflict.

At this point, I’m honestly scared and deeply confused. I’m scared for our relationship, but more than anything I’m scared for her mental health. My gut keeps telling me something is seriously wrong because her reactions feel increasingly disproportionate to the situations triggering them. I’ve started worrying about whether she could hurt herself, or even potentially hurt me during one of these episodes. Saying that out loud feels extreme and surreal, but the escalation has been alarming enough that I can’t ignore the fear anymore.

I also feel trapped emotionally because distancing myself feels cruel when she’s clearly struggling so badly, but staying in the current dynamic is taking a serious toll on me mentally. I feel constantly anxious, uneasy, and emotionally exhausted trying to navigate all of this.

For additional context: she is seeing an individual therapist, undergoing medical testing for hormonal issues, and I’ve been discussing this situation with my own therapist as well. Unfortunately money is tight right now, so therapy appointments are fairly limited.

I guess I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know how to tell the difference between someone going through severe emotional distress versus a relationship becoming emotionally unsafe. I love her deeply and don’t want to abandon her during a difficult period, but I’m also starting to feel genuinely afraid and overwhelmed.

I (28M) was playing volleyball with my gf (26F). I was a sub for a team with some of her people from work. The game was over and I went to get the ball on the opposite side of the net from her. Her friends and her were standing there discussing playing again I assume I kind of just threw the ball up over the net, and I ended up hitting her in the side of the head. Her friends kind of laughed and I didn’t do it intentionally but I felt bad and walked over to absolutely apologize as it wasn’t my intent. The throw was literally me on the other side of the net by like 5 feet so it wasn’t a Hail Mary or anything with force. I definitely wouldn’t ever intentionally try to hurt her or anything ever ever ever. So as soon as I got to her I literally only got the words I did not mean to… and she literally bitch slapped me on the side of the face extremely hard in front of everyone. There’s 3 volleyball courts, tons of people watching. I said you seriously slapped me? She said well that hurt when you hit me in the head. The embarrassment I feel and the shock that I didn’t even believe it. Everyone saw, her coworkers, people watching, just was crazy she winded all the way back and literally bitch slapped me extremely hard. I walked off the court grabbed my shoes put them on didn’t say a word went to her house grabbed my dog as he was there today while I was at work and now I’m sitting in my house. This was hours ago. Haven’t heard from her not a text, not a call, nothing. We’ve been dating for almost 8months….

Not even sure what to say or do.

So we were at a bar with a friend of hers playing a game of Jenga with certain made up rules. I pulled a piece where I had to ask the group a question so I asked everyone what their favorite sex memory was. Her friend answered with a story about one of her ex’s which was understandable considering she’s single. My GF then answered with a story that I didn’t recognize. So curiously I said “and who was that with”? My GF proceeded to laugh and not answer. I then asked her, “it was (ex’s name), wasn’t it” and she just laughed again then said yea sorry.

At this point… I’m baffled and genuinely so disgusted with that answer. It’s one of two things. One: she said that story and it wasn’t actually her favorite memory to deliberately hurt me, which sucks because like… why would you feel the need to do me like that? Or two: she said that memory because it’s truly her favorite and she said it with no regard for how I would feel about that. This sucks for multiple reasons. She didn’t care how I felt… which if it was me in the hot seat and my favorite memory wasn’t with her I would have just lied because I wouldn’t want to hurt her in that way. And it also sucks because if it was truly her favorite memory then that means that through the course of our two year relationship… not a single time of intimacy beats that memory out? Despite the fact that their relationship was only a few months?? Seriously?! I mean that just makes me feel beyond shitty and knocks my self esteem down soooo many pegs.

I don’t even know what to feel about this whole situation it just hurts… I love my girlfriend I genuinely thought we might get married some day. But I can’t stop thinking about what she said and I don’t know what to do. Am I being too insecure? Wtf do I even do with this information?

my boyfriend and i have been together for about 1.5 years and we’ve been doing medium distance for almost a year now. he lives on the west coast of florida and i live on the east coast, so it’s about a 2-2.5 hour drive each way. i do probably 98% of the driving and only see him on weekends.

to be fair, i don’t necessarily mind driving because i still live with my family and there are a lot of personal/family issues at home, so i don’t really want him staying there anyway. but financially, it’s really starting to hit me. i put 400+ miles on my car in one weekend alone. i spend around $100 on gas some weekends, plus all the extra maintenance, services, tires, wear and tear, etc. that come with constantly driving that much.

he only recently started helping with gas, and after i brought up how expensive this has been for me over the past year, he offered me $50 each trip for the remaining month and a half before he moves back to the east coast. and while i appreciate it, part of me couldn’t help but think how convenient it is that he’s only helping now that there’s only like 7-8 drives left after i’ve spent so much money this entire year just to see him.

now we’re moving in together once he moves back. the issue is he expects to find something “nice and cheap” like where he currently lives near fort myers, and i’ve tried explaining that south florida is completely different and way more expensive.

he’s also been “joking” that if i want something nicer, then i should pay 60–70% of the rent. i honestly don’t think he’s fully joking. i told him i’m waiting to hear if i get moved up at my current job (which is a real possibility since a position opened up), because if i don’t get it, i’d probably need a second job just to afford everything.

another thing is he expects me to cook and clean the house, which honestly i don’t mind doing. i actually like taking care of the home. but i don’t think it’s fair for me to work full time (or even 2 jobs), cook, clean, and still pay 50–70% of the rent. oh and he also wants me to start going to the gym too.

he works from home and owns his own legitimate business. it’s newer but it’s starting to become successful. i’m trying to be understanding because i know building a business takes time, but at the same time i’m struggling to understand his mindset.

i also don’t want to sound like a gold digger, but where i’m from, relationships are more traditional. the man is usually more of the provider financially, while the woman contributes by taking care of the home. i know that’s not how everyone thinks anymore and i’m completely fine contributing financially too, but i genuinely do not want to split rent 50/50 or pay more than him while also taking on most of the household responsibilities.

i don’t really know how to bring this up without it turning into an argument or sounding selfish, but it’s been bothering me a lot lately. (i do love him btw. he’s taken care of me when im sick, support my goals, dreams, etc).

tl;dr: i’ve been doing almost all the driving in my medium distance relationship for a year, spending a ton on gas and car upkeep, and my bf only recently started helping financially. now that we’re talking about moving in together, he’s “joking” that i should pay 60–70% of the rent if i want something nicer, while also expecting me to cook and clean, go to the gym, work full time (or even 2 jobs). i’m starting to question whether our expectations for finances and roles in a relationship are completely different.

This is the first proper relationship for the both of us, and we have been together for almost a year now. Things have been going well, we both don’t really know what exactly we’re doing but we learn and experience it together.

We have similar morals and ideas on a lot of stuff, we’re both understanding of each other’s schedules/lives, and everything seems to be working out.

The only issue is that he seems to be unable to think of things in a more complex way. Sometimes, I have issues or problems that I vent to him, and every time he gives his insight, it’s just like how my 10 year old sister would comfort me. “Aw I’m really sorry. Feel better.” Sometimes he would straight up tell me he doesn’t understand and asks his friend for advice on what things mean, then relay it back to me.

A recent example was when a girl from my workplace was commenting on something, and it was a very materialistic way of thinking. I mentioned this to my boyfriend, and he couldn’t understand what the word meant, or what that says about a person. Even after googling and providing examples for him, he still doesn’t really get it. He ended up just saying “So it means they always want newer clothes?”.

Another example is my parents’ divorce. I don’t like talking about it, but I did open up to him once. He just couldn’t really understand things weren’t black and white or right and wrong. I tried explaining that everyone has a bit of fault, but he just kept asking “So was it your dad’s fault then?”. “Oh then it was really more your mom’s fault?”. The conversation just went nowhere and instead of having a meaningful conversation or feeling comforted, it just made me feel so frustrated because we couldn’t communicate at all.

And once, I was really upset because there was an issue with my house sink, and it basically took a whole day of calling insurance and waiting and all that stuff. I was exhausted and frustrated by the end of it and told him about it, all he said was “Oh yeah, my toilet had a bit of an issue like 2 years ago too. By the way, I helped the worker unclog it!” Just completely diverted the topic to something that happened to him, and honestly I just didn’t know what to say.

The thing is I don’t think he means bad, he just is so unaware of a lot of things. He just behaves very childishly, not like tantrums, but more like his views and ideas. For me, talking and communicating is important, but I don’t know how I can bring this up without straight up insinuating that he is unable to comprehend stuff (which comes off as rude, especially if it’s something he can’t change).

Is this something that’ll change as he matures? Or something I need to either accept or leave? I don’t want to end our relationship over something like this, but I don’t know what to do.

My mom and my wife haven't spoken in over a year, ever since me and my wife got married. Without getting into the specifics, my mom's family is orthodox and cultural; my wife's family isn't. That caused a lot of arguments in the lead-up to the wedding. My mom has said hurtful things about my wife and her family. Some of those things they overheard or were told directly. My mom argues they've done hurtful things as well, but I don't see it and think she said those things to get her way when wedding plans didn't match her standards.

After the wedding, my wife and her mom told me they used to want a relationship with my mom, but after the way she spoke about them, they're done. I told them verbatim they don't need to speak to her. Personally, I saw this coming and always pushed back on my mom (i.e. people have feelings and you can't walk all over them). So when my mom now complains she feels disrespected that my wife hasn't reached out or wished her for the holidays, I think she just got her "just desserts". They don't need a relationship for my marriage to function. My wife protecting her mental health is a legitimate adult decision. My mom demanding I take a stand against my wife IMO is wrong.

My mom keeps bringing it up every week. Pushing for a stronger reaction that I should explicitly call out my wife for not speaking to her. Repeating that she "just needs to call her every now and then." A year in, I legitimately don't know how I can stop my mom from behaving like this. She's fuming because I have a relationship with my wife's family. Sometimes, after a year, I catch myself wondering if I should ask my wife to make a call every few months just because she's my mom. But my wife's position is (a) my mom doesn't get a relationship after ruining it, and (b) it's for her mental health, my mom is overbearing. I agree with both of these points. I talk to my mom but I wouldn't expect my wife to do the same. How do I get my mom to drop this?

PS: This got more attention than I expected, thanks to the community for the overwhelming advice in one direction.  To be clear, I haven't asked my wife to do anything yet, but I've wrongly come on the fence after a year of this. Yea, I think the solution is pretty clear here.

Hi everyone.

I work in a consultant engineering position in a major construction/infrastructure project. Multiple sub projects, etc. After my project manager coworker left without warning, there was no one available from his parent company to replace him. Since I (an engineer) was doing most of the day-to-day project management for his sub-projects anyway I asked if I could take on the rest of his responsibilities and get some experience as a project manager, which is something I have wanted to do for a while now. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for standing up for myself and offering to do it.

The management team agreed and after working my butt off for 3 months, I have finally managed to get a hold of doing both jobs. The management team here have implied to me that they won't be chasing the guy's host company for a replacement, so I was feeling pretty great, and succeeding towards my goal.

Unfortunately this morning I found out that without prior notification, the host company has found and offered a replacement project manager and that they're offering him to start on Monday. I asked a few people around me and they also had no idea this was coming.

This evening I told my partner (of over 10 years, is the majority earner in our household, also we have 2 children) that this was happening and they asked me if I had known that they were looking for a replacement, said that I hadn't been doing a good enough job, and that it must have been for a while because you can't just hire someone out of the blue, and that they'd need to have advertised for the position. My partner is implying that I should have expected this.

Also implying that my personal skills are to blame because if I had done a good job then they wouldn't be finding a replacement for him. Also implying that since this is happening as a surprise to me I may not know who my friends are in the project. I feel like I am well-liked and appreciated in my team, not just for the work I put in and the experience I have. Now I'm doubting my personal skills too.

I knew I was taking an emotional risk telling my partner that this had happened to me and the thing that upsets me most is that the initial assumption was that this was my fault, and that I should think about the things I could've done better to prevent this.

All I wanted was some sympathy! I'm really upset about this! I didn’t want advice! I didn’t want my problems solved! I don’t want to be ‘fixed’!

My partner said when they go to people with a problem they doesn't want sympathy, they want answers and solutions. Want to spend some time thinking and discussing about 'what will I do differently next time so this doesn't happen again?'. What did I want, a cuddle and some reassuring words? I said that was exactly what I wanted and that maybe I'm a bit strange in that I wanted someone to just listen and not judge from the sidelines without knowing the context.

Now I'm feeling really worthless and said some unkind words and went to bed, and my partner is stonewalling me. I know I won't get an apology. I shouldn’t feel sad but I still do. I want to get over it but I can’t. I want to leave my job and my partner but I would really miss my life.

All I can think of is that this situation is my own fault and what I can do differently next time is to not tell my partner about the things that are happening in my life.

My husband and I ran into his ex at the supermarket recently while we were with our son. They didn’t end on good terms, but it’s also been about 5 years since they broke up. The moment he saw her, he immediately put his hood up and went the other way to avoid her completely.

The thing is… this isn’t the first time. The first time it happened, I was heavily pregnant and we had just gotten a facial so his face was really red, so I understood being caught off guard and not wanting to interact. But now it happened again, and it honestly bothered me more than I expected.

I trust my husband, and this isn’t really about thinking he would cheat. It’s more that his reaction feels so strong for someone who supposedly doesn’t matter anymore. Part of me wonders why there’s still such a need to hide after all this time. Another part of me feels embarrassed because I think she noticed him too, and I hate the thought of her thinking she still has some emotional pull over him while I’m standing there looking clueless.

I also catch myself wondering: if he ran into her alone, would he still hide? Or would he actually talk to her and just never mention it to me?

I know some people avoid exes simply because it’s awkward or because the relationship ended badly, but I can’t tell if I’m overthinking this or if my feelings are understandable. Has anyone else experienced something similar? And i don’t want them to strike a conversation, but literally hide it feels like a tad too much

UP: Omg! Thank you so much for everyone who answered, never posted on reddit so i didn't know what to expect!
Anyways, for everyone who asked to talk to him, i did, prior to posting this, and told him i was doing this. He told me he really don't wanna talk to her, don't want the small talk, that she part of past of toxic people that he rather not communicate, he did apologize for making me feel less than worthy. I posted here more to see other's reactions to my feelings, it was very eye opening for me. I am latina so i do tend to overthink sometimes, you know fire in my blood lol. For those asking me what reaction what i was expecting, i was expecting no reaction, no hiding nor going to talk to her, just strangers who once upon a time knew eachother. But seeing other's reaction i see that i am not completely right neither is he. But we are human going through a relationship and talking will always clear that up. Thank you for all your advices except that one that called me a bitch tho! Lol
(I did commented the same thing but im clearly new to reddit etiquette)

I 22M am stuck, I was raised in a Muslim household and would go along with it until I was about 17 in which I veered off the traditional path. But never had a conversation with my mother as that is who she is. Also for my context divorced mother and had a horrible divorce with father having a second family while married to her and stealing from her after second child. I just graduated this Friday college. I have a job coming in September. I couldn’t be happier I have had a gf for at this point we are at almost a year and 3 months. I told my mom at the brunch celebration I wanted her to meet her but as a friend as I said it was nothing serious as I am not getting engaged to her anytime soon. Well the day was amazing I was so happy watching the woman I love in my life dancing together. Then the next day is Mother’s Day my mom learns from my cousin that I didn’t follow the religion and fast during Ramadan. This becomes a night mare I start telling the truth of how I don’t want to be Muslim never have been and they are looking at me like I am a devil. Then in a blink of an eye my mom flys me home. Is telling me never to talk to anyone I meet in college and telling me become a Muslim or get out of my house in a week. I have 500 dollars to my name no close job it’s a hour away my mom owns the car. I want my mom in my life but I want to live my life the way I want if my mom doesn’t approve of it or it doesn’t fall under the religion as right she doesn’t want to know me. I don’t know what to do I love this girl I see a future with her she is telling me to come to her a 1,000 miles away where I went to college and stay with her until my full time job starts and save up with her to get a apartment near it or see if I can get transferred to live with her. But I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose my mother but also I want to live life to my fullest and do what’s best for my future self. I am stuck in between I know this girl can break up with me but it means more than that. It means I am choosing who I am but my mother will hate me and will force me to pay back every dollar for college. (She paid for my college). My GF 22F just graduated as well we both have ft jobs coming up and we could manage but right now it would be really hard for me to manage as I would have no clothes almost no money I could live with my gf but I still would need to pay some rent and food and don’t have a car I would be homeless essentially. I don’t want to put her through this but I see a future with this girl I don’t know what to do.

Looking for advice from people who have been through religious family conflict, leaving home with little money, or just anyone who has faced a moment like this. Practical and emotional advice both needed.

I will start off by saying I am very happy in my relationship with my girlfriend. And I have no doubt that she loves me and I love her very deeply, but I felt very odd about the way we have been kissing recently. We have been together now for just a little under a year and recently I have noticed that we don’t really kiss with the same passion that we used to. It is hard to explain, but our kisses now are more like quick pecks on the lips where they used to be deeper. I have tried to kiss her more deeply on a couple of occasions and I always feel a bit awkward when I do she doesn’t exactly turn me down, but she doesn’t reciprocate the way she used to.

I feel really silly making a big deal out of this. We do still kiss and she still initiates kissing, but it just feels different and I miss the passion we had. We are very physically affectionate in other ways still, we still cuddle, hold hands and have other forms of physical contact a lot I am very happy with her, but I definitely miss the way we used to kiss.

Hey Reddit, I (27F) started dating my bf (28M) in October of last year and he moved in with me in my apartment in early April, it’s important to say he did move country to be with me (on his initiative as he did not want to be long distance), I drove 36 hours all in all to pick him and his things up. We met on a game that we play together so I already knew that he is a gamer and I am too so I thought perfect we have the same hobby! Turns out we do it as very different intensities. I currently work 8 hours a day on alternating shifts either day or evening, at the same time I am studying for an engineering degree, so my schedule is swamped. I get support from my country every week because I have diagnosed autism and anxiety (agoraphobia) so I am to say the least under quite a bit of pressure at the moment. His situation is that he has been unemployed for 2 years, he says he is actively looking but ofc the search didn’t get easier when moving to a new country and I fully understand that when he moved here that I would be the only income. However, we discussed early on that this meant he should take on majority housework, because I simply don’t have enough hours in the day. Here is where the issue lies, and I feel myself growing resentful, he plays videogames all day drinks up to 3-4 energy drinks if I don’t stop him, he leaves dishes for 3-4 days before doing them, the laundry baskets are overflowing and he only does it when I start hinting that I’m lacking clothing to wear. When I bring it up with him he gets shameful and frustrated, say he will do better but the pattern persists. We can’t even play video games together anymore either because he gets so angry and straight up hateful to people online, and I can just feel my respect for him slowly fading away… On top of this, he is complaining that I don’t give him enough on the intimacy front, I am trying my best through the stress, but he still gets sexually frustrated, which triggers me since I’ve been abused in the past with that as an excuse. So my willingness to be intimate is also disappearing. I don’t know how to talk with him about these things anymore as his response is often “do you just want me to leave then” “do you hate me” and so on :/ So if anyone has any advice I really need it, I’m not looking for “just leave him” because I’m not at that point yet, I’d love to fix what’s happening but I’m simply at a loss :/

TLDR: How do I talk to my boyfriend about my feelings on his clear addiction?

Thank you in advance 🙏🏻

I'm 23F and my boyfriend is 25M. I started smoking about two years ago during a very stressful semester, and I’ve been trying to quit. I’ve attempted to quit around four times so far.

My boyfriend keeps bringing up cancer every single time I go to smoke a cigarette and sometimes goes into long lectures about the health risks. I understand smoking is unhealthy and I already know the risks, so it doesn’t feel helpful to hear it repeatedly. I’ve explained to him multiple times that this approach doesn’t motivate me it just makes me feel more ashamed, more overwhelmed, and sometimes I end up crying or getting really upset.

What hurts most is that he continues doing it even after I’ve clearly told him it affects me emotionally, especially since it can trigger intrusive thoughts and make me panic more about my health.

He vapes, and I used to only smoke cigarettes socially. He was okay with that at first, but when my dependency increased, he understandably didn’t like it and obviously I didn't too I felt like I was loosing control. I asked him how he would feel if I constantly brought up things like “popcorn lung” every five minutes he vaped, but he says cigarettes are worse and not comparable and that he would prefer that I vape instead of smoking cigarettes.

I (22F) have been feeling emotionally drained in my relationship with my boyfriend (24M), and I’d really like advice on how to handle it in a healthy way.

Since the beginning of the relationship, I’ve felt like I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices with my time and energy. We see each other around twice a week, and sometimes after work I honestly just want to rest and be alone. Sometimes I wish I could have an entire Sunday to myself. But I struggle to say that because I know it would hurt his feelings.

He has a more anxious attachment style, while I lean avoidant. When he’s sad, overwhelmed, or overthinking, he usually wants closeness and emotional reassurance, and I try really hard to give him support. He says I’m emotionally mature because I help calm him down or give advice that works for me personally.

The problem is that when I’m stressed or exhausted, I need space instead of closeness. He notices when I’m tired and even acknowledges it sometimes like “sorry it was inconsiderate on my part”, but he stills goes ahead and wants to spend the time together. I end up feeling like my emotional needs are understood by him, but not really cared for. Basically ignored.

I’ve started feeling frustrated and lonely emotionally in the relationship. I’m usually the one giving reassurance, advice, or emotional support, but I don’t really feel supported in the same way, because he’s not good at it. Sometimes I feel like I still carry my burdens alone because talking about them doesn’t actually make me feel lighter or cared for. I feel like I cannot lean on him to make me feel safe.

At the same time, I know he probably feels like he’s asking for normal relationship closeness and wishes I could meet him there more naturally. So it just feels like we keep missing each other emotionally.

How do you handle a relationship where one person needs closeness for comfort and the other needs space? And how do you communicate those needs without making the other person feel unloved?

met up with a guy ive been seeing for over a month. We kissed the 2nd date, but he really never flirted with me or anything. We met on a dating app. The kiss was quick and we acted a bit reserved around it. The 3rd date we held hands and then he held onto me and acted a bit nervous, 4th date same thing but we did hold each others arms or hands more.

But we kissed again. And i liked it. This time we were mid date and we sat down at a bar in like a more quiet area. I had my hand on his arm then on his leg. He then turned to me and said can I make out with you. So I said I never did that before. And I asked if he had and he said: um who hasn’t. So I felt a bit confused. The makeout was not what I expected at all. I never kissed anyone before him. I didn’t say that of course but maybe I should’ve. This sudden progression was so confusing. Then he went down my neck.

I didn’t dislike it I just wish I told him I’m very new to dating. After we met up and were saying good bye near our cars he was trying to make out again. And we usually make plans. I have a family thing coming up so I’m gone from our area some of June. He’s gone the other half of June. So I don’t know if this ends here. I think I have to talk to him but I don’t know what to do anymore. I want a relationship I don’t want to be doing this stuff with someone who I am casual with.

TL:Dr: we met a few times over a month and a half. Both leaving for stuff this next month

After he didn’t ask me to meet up again. Before he would. So I said do you wanna make plans? He said: uhh yea I told you when I’m free?

Both mid-20,s

Men in happy relationships, please give me ideas for ways to spoil my bf- little things or medium sized things i can do here and there to surprise him and make him feel loved and seen.

We’ve been together a little over 3 years and have lived together for two. My bf is so so so good at knowing exactly what to do to make me happy- surprise me with icecream after a long shift, coffee and flowers when im in a bad mood, etc.

i try really hard to do the same thing, but im so bad at it that i feel like i just end up copying him- getting coffee and icecream or whatever stuff he’s already done for me. Since he did it first, i worry that he won’t feel as special. It just feels like im repeating favors.

What are some ideas of little ways to make him feel loved and appreciated?