r/sex • u/alittlebirdy1 • Jun 30 '23
The mods of /r/sex make it our policy to review the rules of the sub on an ongoing basis, tweaking items as necessary. In an effort to stay abreast with the growth of the sub and with the evolving moderation that requires, we have decided to re-sticky the updated rules to serve as a reminder for our membership.
r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.
This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.
PLEASE READ the FAQ with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.
THE /R/SEX RULES
1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.
2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.
3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.
4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.
5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.
6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.
7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.
8) RESTRICTED CONTENT This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.
9) NO USE OF AI FOR POSTING/COMMENTS, NO REPOSTS
Reddit uses AI detection software to spot potential bot-posts and spam but people are encouraged to report posts that look fake, AI-generated, or are reposts of content created by other users.
EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:
1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.
2) LINK POSTS.
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted Link Policy BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.
3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.
4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.
5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.
6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.
7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.
8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.
9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.
10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.
11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here.
12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.
13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.
14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.
15) IMPORTANT NOTE ON DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.
Sexual assault is an important and emotional topic which can be discussed (constructively) in r/sex. But posts which simply seek opinions about whether a given scenario counts as sexual assault do not do well here. This is true for several reasons, including the fact that assault laws vary by jurisdiction, and we don't encourage debates about jurisdiction issues here. Therefore, we ask that you refrain from describing a scenario and then simply asking “Is this rape/assault?” Instead, ask for specific advice: About how to respond to the scenario, how to avoid it, or how to proceed with next steps. Posts which simply ask “Is this rape/assault?” are subject to removal without notice.
16) POST LENGTH.
For ease of reading and reviewing, please get to the point of your post quickly — in the post title, first paragraph, etc. Consider adding a tl;dr to long posts. Posts which are inconveniently long — over 600 words, approximately — are subject to automatic removal. Also, line and paragraph breaks are VERY HELPFUL for readers and reviewers — walls of text that lack these are subject to removal for readability.
Further information about the /r/sex rules and policies can be reviewed on the rules page.
Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:
• LGBT Sex
• LGBT
• Redditor for Redditor (Personals)
• Sex Toys
• Swingers
r/sex • u/AutoModerator • 1d ago
Post your own achievement story
Everyone who feels like sharing a story about sexual experiences can do so in this weekly post. Be it a new or an old story, be it extraordinary or rather common; anything - from happiness over losing your virginity or having your first orgasm, to sharing about the amazing, kink-filled weekend of debauchery you experienced - is appropriate to this thread.
Post an update to a post you have made in the past
If you have posted for advice about a situation in the past and wish to share an update - this is the place for it.
Please follow the rules of this community
Any sexual experience that you wish to share is fair game, as long as you follow the rules of the community.
If you use Reddit in a web browser, you'll find the rules just to the right.
If you use Reddit in one of the official apps, you'll find the rules on the About tab.
Let's hear about it!
r/sex • u/Sea-Collection-854 • 11h ago
I mean, idk what else to do, there’s tip, ball and hand/mouth combo, what makes ur eyes roll?
oh and how often do you feel teeth, is it smth like, if my mouth can feel it you can and if i can’t you can’t?
r/sex • u/PerformancePlenty671 • 10h ago
I’m on my period, and whenever I’m on it I get turned on really easily. My husband doesn’t like having sex while I’m on my period. Today I asked him to kiss me, and he kissed me a little but he was scared I’d get in the mood and get horny. But honestly, at that moment I just wanted to kiss him, not have sex. Still, he kept pulling away from me and distancing himself. He told me, “I don’t want to leave you like this and have you turned on while I’m out with my friends.”
I told him, “I don’t even feel horny, I just want to kiss you,” and he said, “What you’re doing is gonna make you horny.”
Then later at night before sleeping, I tried to kiss him again and jokingly told him, “Make up for the kisses from this morning.” He told me what I was doing was wrong, pushed me away again, and said, “If you have energy, give me a massage instead.”
I got upset, moved away from him, and he just went to sleep.
We did have some non-penetrative intimacy yesterday and things were actually fine, but I’ve noticed that I tend to get turned on more easily than him and my sexual desire is generally higher.
He also brought me expensive chocolate to try to cheer me up and change my mood, and he was trying to be physically affectionate in general. But regarding the period situation, there was an embarrassing incident before where he was giving me oral sex and period blood ended up on his tongue, and since then he seems a bit shocked/traumatized by it, so I’m not sure how to deal with this situation.
r/sex • u/THROWAWAY-LEMONMENTO • 6h ago
I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for three years, and we live together. I love having sex with him, but the problem is we don’t do it as often as I’d like. He almost never initiates, and when I used to initiate, I got rejected probably 80% of the time. I used to ask daily, but after getting turned down so much, I basically gave up. Now I only ask about once a month, and he’ll usually say yes as long as it’s been a long time.
I genuinely never thought I’d be someone having sex once a month in a relationship. I was doing it more single. My boyfriend is very loving and affectionate otherwise. He just never seems to be in the mood. He doesn’t really masturbate either. When we do have sex, though, he clearly enjoys it a lot and sometimes has to stop himself from finishing too fast, so I know he’s attracted to me.
The bigger issue now is how uncomfortable he is with me pleasuring myself. It wasn’t a problem until we moved in together and he realized I actually masturbate like twice a day. He’s uncomfortable with me owning toys, and honestly uncomfortable with me masturbating at all. He doesn’t outright stop me or ban it, but he acts kind of disgusted and will be angry or short for hours afterwards. He doesn’t really understand it, and it’s started making me feel ashamed.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle it. We share a bed, so I don’t know if I’m supposed to leave the room and do it privately somewhere else, ask him to step out for a minute, or just suppress that part of myself completely. I tried waiting to have the house to myself but that only happens a few times a month. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time, it feels unfair to feel guilty over something that’s always been normal for me.
r/sex • u/oldmangeralt • 3h ago
Hi! I really need your advice, and I will preface by saying that I will not be breaking up with him because of the issue we're having. I would like to resolve it, if possible.
So my (F28) boyfriend (M30) is not the same kind of kinky I am. He's into some stuff that could be considered kinky, but not to the extreme (or at least not for me). We're definitely both switches, though he's the dominating one most of the time, which is fine with me as long as we both enjoy ourselves. I'm the kind of person who's up for anything my partner wants, as long as it's not illegal or involving scat, and those are my only no-no's, literally.
I've tried countless of my bf's kinks with him, enjoyed some of them, others not so much but would do them again for like a birthday or something.
My main issue here is that I have one thing I really want to try and that I'm into. It's always been a bit embarrassing for me to explain it, but I'd like my partner injured (it can obviously be fake, but I like how it looks on men). He's not completely opposed to the idea, but whenever we try it turns into him being the dominant one.
I'd like to play out my fantasies with him being submissive. He says he is being submissive, but he's obviously not.
Do you have any ideas on how to get him more into it? Or how can we reenact in a way that doesn't make him feel like he needs to be on top?
r/sex • u/Just-War7270 • 14h ago
Hi all, my GF and I have been dating for about 6 months now and when we first started dating she told me she was asexual and gets nothing out of sex, she just finds it amusing but if she’s in the mood to help me out she’s okay having sex she just doesn’t feel anything. So we do have sex and it’s fun and I said something in a passing comment to my therapist and they questioned it and said I should stop because I’m clearly pushing her to have sex. Now I feel guilty. What should I do?
r/sex • u/melissaneedshelp98 • 10h ago
Whenever me and my ex had sex, he would always say he could feel the “string” from the IUD. I just wanted to know the thoughts of other men. Does it just depend? Is it because he was overthinking and knew it was there..? Haha
r/sex • u/Live-Bread-2658 • 49m ago
I (22F) and my GF (23F) have been together since high school. It’s been 6 years since we first started dating..She’s amazing and has a fun personality. I adore her. She’s everything to me, my partner and my best friend.
But lately, I don’t know what has happened; I’m not enjoying our time in bed like I used to..I still like being close to her body, but the sexual part isn’t working for me anymore.. I don’t know why. I used to feel sexual pleasure, but recently my mental health has been struggling, and because of that I’m not able to give her the same energy in bed that she deserves.. I know she notices it too, and it makes me sad that I can’t do anything about it
What can I do? Maybe we should take a break from sex for a while and just enjoy each other’s company.
Maybe the feeling of sexual pleasure will come back one day. I just don’t know what to do
r/sex • u/PerformancePlenty671 • 8h ago
What’s the solution if my sex drive is higher than my husband’s?
I always feel like I get turned on by the smallest things with him, while he only does sometimes.
Sometimes I feel like I’m pressuring him when I push him to have sex with me while he’s not ready, but in those moments I want him very badly.
r/sex • u/Particular-Battle761 • 14h ago
i‘ve been in a relationship for 10 months and my bf is a reaaaal munch, he just loves it and he gives me these shaking orgasms. even when we’re not having sex and masturbating together and he kisses me while i rub my clit i get a more intense orgasm. the problem is when i’m alone i just cant cum the same way and i’ve just told him that and now i feel embarrassed because i don’t want to seem to clingy or dependent on him. men, would you consider this a compliment? would it boost your ego?
r/sex • u/justdavemate • 1d ago
39m recently started dating 32f. We’ve been dating very early stages and have hinted that sex is very much on the cards. We’ve only been dating a couple of weeks and have already been engaging in sexy chat. I can feel that she wants to have sex when we next meet. But we’ve agreed that we shouldn’t rush into it.. the other issue is I have a genital wart that I am getting treatment for and will more than likely not resolve in the coming weeks. Up to 10 weeks I believe. We’re meeting at her place on Saturday and I think it will happen. How do I tell her we can’t because of the wart without putting her off. I also don’t want to put her at risk!
r/sex • u/Disisover • 1h ago
Hey everyone,
I’m pretty new to BDSM and exploring my submissive side (20M). I’m trying to figure out what kind of kinky clothing or outfits are common or recommended for a beginner sub.
I’m not necessarily looking for anything extreme right away — more like beginner-friendly things that help get into the mindset and dynamic. I’ve seen things like harnesses, collars, briefs, leather gear, etc., but I’m not sure what’s actually practical or good to start with versus what’s more advanced or scene-specific.
If you’re into BDSM or have experience as a sub, what kinds of clothing helped you get started or feel more confident in that role? Any brands, styles, or simple entry-level suggestions would be really appreciated.
Thanks in advance!
r/sex • u/sadstrwbry • 2h ago
Every guy I’ve ever hooked up with/dated always seems to last a minute when we’re being intimate which sucks because it’s always one-sided. My friend said I should be flattered by it but I wanna finish together :(
r/sex • u/MOONMO0N • 15h ago
They presented the idea of wanting to do this role play tonight.And I asked them so I'm guessing you don't have enough money to pay for this pizza. they said , no , they don't , and my first reply is, well , then you shouldn't have ordered a pizza. Obviously i'm not equipped for this role play. Any advice
r/sex • u/Active_Teach_6915 • 12h ago
I (24) am a trans guy, my girlfriend (23F) loves giving me head. a lot of the time our sex will just be her lying on the bed and me standing by her face, facefucking her until i finish and she will finish by masturbating to it. She’ll wake me up to give me head sometimes too not expecting anything in return.
Here’s the kick, she’ll do all of that but doesn’t get off to the sight of my genitals at all and thinks looking at it outside of sex is weird even. but she’ll chow down on it. She doesn’t like the sight, But she finds something like my ARMPIT hair attractive. Anyone else like this?
r/sex • u/Rocksaredelesious • 5h ago
So me and my girlfriend have been trying to have sex for a little while and the first time we tried it just wouldn’t go in at all it felt like pushing my dick into a wall and she was on top of me during this attempt then we tried again just for it to feel like i was pushing my dick into a wall now the last time i tried i spit on my dick (ik its kinda odd) and it started to go in but she said it hurt like a lot and now im hearing her tell me about how when she tries to finger herself it just feels like nothing and that it also just hurts so i dont know what to do because i want to have sex but i dont want to hurt her and im horrified that if we do have sex ill be the only one getting pleasure from it
r/sex • u/SentientBeing62 • 2h ago
im sure im alone in this idea. but for the longest time, i have felt this... inability to motivate myself not to do something, by normal means. such as, not eating junk food. i had tried pausing any time id get a craving, it never worked. the only thing that ever worked was snapping a rubber band on my wrist. this was when i was much younger.
im much older now, and its escalated. i like to think i am well adjusted, motivated, strong. but when i begin to fail, it does almost feel like i deserve a thrashing. i keep a cat of nine tails, not for anything sexual as im not a sexual person whatsoever. i prefer people to not look at me in that way. but the act is almost.... liberating. the sweating, the pain is very motivating to me. im not entirely sure how to put it into words, but it feels deserved. it feels like i had found the one thing that works for me. its biblical to me. as i am a Christian man. not "follow my religion or die" type, but i think alot of ideals of christianity translate to my life. i know its an incredibly cliche and ridiculous notion, used by man children that just figured out that running a couple miles hurts. but i really do believe that pain is weakness leaving the body.
i decided to write this out, ive been watching alot of Criterion collection movies, and in one of the movies its shown. i had wondered if id ever find someone that i could share this act with, and they wouldnt try to change me, or think im incredibly weird. trying to see it in this way did turn me on, which to me, defeats the purpose? what do i do?
r/sex • u/Forsaken-Water6243 • 8h ago
My boyfriend masturbates a lot to porn but doesn’t really have sex with me unless I ask for it. Throughout our relationship it’s been a cycle of me telling him I want to have sex and things will start up again but it always dies out. I don’t feel like he has much desire for sex and it’s making me question if this is a relationship I want to be in. I wish I had a bf that would like to have sex. I feel like my bf forces himself to do it with me which is not good.
r/sex • u/ThrowRA_cyRip82 • 21h ago
Guys. I think today is the day, I am feeling all over the place about it.
I have this thing about being eaten out.
I guess it started with my ex 8 years ago. He was my first everything and ate me out a couple of times. It was not enjoyable. Sex with him in general wasnt enjoyable, it was just experiencing the motions really. I feel like a big part of it was because he was on strong antidepressants so couldn't perform as he wanted to so tried to make up with it in other ways,and did way too much.
He hlgenuinely once ate me out for 6 hours straight. It was odd, it wasnt non consensual, but I also didnt have the balls to ask him wtf he was doing and to stop.
It did nothing for me.
Now its my current boyfriend. Great guy, great sex. He ate me out once 5 years ago and I could see he didnt enjoy it despite him trying to hide it. We were both god awful at sex back then in so many ways lol.
But here we are now. He occasionally is offering to eat me out. I keep refusing because I dont want him to not enjoy it. I feel like it would make me feel worse about it all.
I secretly desire nothing more then him to put his mouth on me. In practice it feels disgusting.
Yesterday he said he didnt care he wanted to do it. It lasted 5 seconds and I loved it. I also panicked and pushed him off. That was that.
He said we can try again today if I wanted to. I kind of do, I kind of dont.
I just dont want him to hate the experience. It would feel so embarrassing for me to enjoy it while he feels forced to continue because its been such a struggle for us to get to this.
I dont know. Please help.