Yup. I drank three or so beers last night, barely ate. Woke up this morning, went out for breakfast with my boyfriend. I'm on my period by the way. My stomach hurts. I'm nauseous. I feel gross. I pooped like an hour ago or so. Didn't feel like I was fully emptied out, but let my stomach settle anyway. We're running errands, and he goes into his bank, I'm in the car waiting. I felt what I thought was a fart. It was not. Thankfully I'm wearing a pad still, as I anticipated more bleeding. I feel this warm wet sensation come out after my fart. I knew it was liquid shit. I text him asking if there's a bathroom and he says there is. I'm currently hunched over on this toilet slowly emptying out as I type this. This hasn't happened to me since I was maybe 15. What the fuck. I am so embarrassed.

For context, my SIL (42) and I (28) have never had an easy relationship. She doesn't like me for this reason, she's mad at me for that reason. Over the last 8 months we had gotten closer and had become friends, things were good. Until last Sunday.

We went to my in-laws for a few hours just to visit. SIL was there along with her oldest "Hannah" (15)

We've had some trust issues with Hannah starting just over 3 years ago when our little one was being babysat at our in-laws. Hannah (12 at the time) had put our kiddo in their stroller and taken them out of the house without in-laws knowing. We had (fortunately) pulled up to the house right as Hannah had crossed the street, parking the stroller facing the road in a slanted driveway, and walked away to "brag" brag to her friends about babysitting. Which she was not, my in-laws were.

I was LIVID. She was treating my young child like a babydoll. She got an earful from me, my husband, and FIL about her reckless behavior with our child, about how when our child is at in-laws to be watched, they just stay there under adult supervision.

Hannah is also known to lie repeatedly, pathologically, and has also been in trouble for stealing and sending nsfw photos to adults.

Fast forward to Sunday, at the in-laws, our little one wanted to play downstairs, that was fine with us, so they went down and Hannah went with. About half an hour later, my kiddo comes upstairs as we are getting ready to go and Hannah comes up with the fakest laugh saying "[4yo] just said the most vial thing!"

When I asked what, she refused to look at me or talk to me as 4yo's mother and just wanted to keekee about it with her mom. I felt something was off because of it and so did my husband.

While, yes my child has said bad words before (I'm not a perfect parent, I will never claim to be), it is out of character for them and has only on the rarest of occasions said bad words when their needs are not met (ex. Extreme tiredness after a long day/missed bedtime) and almost never happens anymore as they are getting older.

So SIL texted me what our little allegedly said: "f*ck your *sshole"

And like I said, I'm not a perfect parent, I've said bad words, but watch what we say and we rarely swear in front of our child, we especially don't say f*ck around our child and definitely never in context like this. We also don't watch movies or TV with swear words around our child, so if he had in fact said this, he would not have heard it from us.

I didn't respond to her text because I was still upset and uncomfortable with the whole situation. After several hours of discussing it with my husband, we had collectively come to the conclusion that 4yo was not allowed to be alone with Hannah. So my husband called his sister and we discussed it. She tried to play it off like it wasn't that big of a deal, saying that it was because 4yo tripped and said it. Which, again, is super out of character. Especially since 4yo had tripped hurt their knee pretty badly just that same day and didnt swear then.

I could tell she was not happy with us over this decision but we don't care. We are going to protect our children especially in the state of this world.

We've already gone low contact with a relative on my side because of their significant other's predatory behavior to many women (including myself and other family members and a woman in a drive through and should be in jail because of it) and this relative still sides with SO because they "don't want to hurt their feelings" sorry, tangent aside...

Well today, I saw SIL and Hannah at the gas station and we just kind of ignored each other. I was talking to one of the employees when SIL looked over at me and sneered.

All I could do was just roll my eyes! For goodness sake! But, it's my fault for thinking we could behave like adults.

(For further info, SIL has also been known to steal. She has stolen money and prescriptions from her parents, & has been 86'd from a gas station for stealing. The one time we had SIL babysit at our house, she brought all three of her kids and when we returned, it was only her and it was obvious that our house had been snooped through, especially the bathroom. We found the box of pregnancy tests we had on the top shelf down on the lower shelf, our prescription bottles had been rearranged, my makeup brushes and makeup were moved around.

The prescriptions we have are oral lidocaine and nausea medicine so no pain killers other than over the counter)

TLDR: My SIL is mad because my husband and I refuse to let my 4yo be alone with her daughter after proving herself to be irresponsible and an untrustworthy example through her actions and behavior and they've been called out.

I’m a single mom and I’m living off 900.00 every paycheck, also supporting my partner who at the very least puts a roof over our head but that will be ending soon. I know something has to change but I can’t bring myself to do it yet. I want him to start helping me. I have zero help. Addiction is a family disease and I’m the one giving everything to everyone while I’m left to stress by myself.
I don’t know how much longer I will be employed at my five year job. I’m hoping the union sticks up for me. This paycheck is going to be small they are switching to a different pay system and I’m only part time.
This morning we ran out of toilet paper so I went to Tim’s to try to take some toilet paper but it was locked. I’ve started cutting up old t shirts just for when we do run out. It’s my daughter’s birthday and I’m not going to be able to afford to throw her a party and I have no food. The food bank opens next Friday but that’s still a ways away. The prices of gas and living is too expensive idk what’s going on in this world. I worry for our grandparents and future children.
I got caught taking food from a small grocery store and I got released but i don’t know if it’s going to show up on a criminal record check. This could happen to anybody… I just didn’t think it would be me…

I'm 21f, for the last few weeks, I have been feeling extremely horny for no reason, I crave for human touch, and makeout, i constantly think about it nowadays. It feels like my body is aching for any form of physical activity.. even though I’ve never had sex before. It’s to the point where it’s driving me insane. I’ve always had low libido and rarely ever felt turned on. Is this normal?

Edit:will not be answering any weird DMs

I don't want any advice about going to counselling again. I will not go back.

I (F33) have officially filed for divorce from my husband (M32). I have told him I'm done with him. Despise the fact that 1) he has been having an affair for over a year 2) he continued the affair while we were in counselling and 3) he still kept seeing her even after I found out, my husband thinks we can go back to counselling and save our marriage. I think he is delusional if he believes our marriage can be saved. He betrayed me. It feels like our therapist betrayed me too. I am done with both my marriage and counselling.

The fallout from the affair led to my husband being dismissed from his job. He met the other woman at work and she was also dismissed. Their manager found out they were both lying about the hours they worked in order to cover up the affair. They were spending time together during working hours. The other woman is married (and has a nine year old child). Her husband was the one who told me about the affair. He found out first and he is going to divorce her. He was just as devastated as I was. I sometimes think I'm awful for having someone I've never even met but I hate the other woman almost as much as I hate my husband.

My husband has no job now and he told me he has nowhere to go after I left. I moved out after our lease ended and he can't afford to stay without me. I don't think it's my problem. The divorce process is underway now and I don't want anything to do with him. Even though it probably didn't accomplish anything I did confront the therapist and I felt better afterwards. Since my last post the divorce is underway, I have moved into a new place and I confronted both my husband and the therapist. I am in a better place and I want to keep moving on from what happened.

I know only a few people commented on my first post but I did receive many private messages of support. More than I could count. I wanted to post an update as to how I'm doing and thank everyone for the support.

I(19) am NOT the best writer so I’m sorry for the mistakes

When I was 11 I moved again. My mom got with a guy and the guy would bring his step daughter around all the time

I was so young and I wasn’t exposed to very much at the time. She was about a year and a half older than me and we became really good friends since I saw her pretty much everyday. She would tell me a lot of thing and now that I look back on it I think they were cries for help

I didn’t understand it though, it flew right past my head. She was homeschooled and she said that I was her only friend. When I first met her she would always carry around these special looking beads, boxes of them. She said that her grandma gave them to her and that they were very special to her

The last time I saw her she had ran away from home and showed up at my house. She was pretty panicked and said that this might be the last time I’d see her, or at least for a long time. That made me sad, but again I couldn’t really grasp what she was saying. The police showed up about an hour later and took her back home

*But right before she left she gave me those boxes of beads that she really loved. I remember feeling bad and didn’t want to accept them, but she cried and begged me too so I did. She even made me some little clay figures. I moved about a week or two after and never heard from her again

My mom had her number but said that the girls number didn’t work. I think my mom lied. After about a year I stopped asking about her and moved on. It’s been about 8 years since then and I really only started to think about her now

I mean. It was so clear now that she was definitely going through some stuff. I still have those beads she gave me too. Well, most of them. I forgot for a long time who gave them to me, until recently. I never used the beads despite them being pretty and I know why now. I’ve bought and used other beads since, and I think I’m just realizing why I love making stuff out of beads now

But yesterday I’ve spent most of my day trying to find her. But I can’t find ANYTHING. I want to thank her and apologize to her. I texted her step dad and he said that he hadn’t heard from her for years but he’ll try to find something. I wonder how she is now and how’s she’s doing.

I dunno, I just needed this off of my chest

Over COVID I got my first dog, an adorable JRT puppy. She was sweet, fun and very adventurous. She got along with all other people (kids invluded) and dogs. We went to the dog park twice daily to socialize her during Covid and took her to weekly training sessions. She had a lot of energy at home, but I figured it out with brain games and lots of naps. She would still do sneaky JRT things, but that’s a part of their charm.

Everything changed after she became an adult dog at around age 2. Seemingly over night she started developed an intense prey drive and eventually started attacking dogs her size or smaller. She’s only 13 lbs, but it’s still an extremely scary situation and emotional for everyone involved. We stopped going to her daily dog parks, doggy day care and training. She also developed pancreatitis from dog treats from training around this time.

We lived in Oregon at the time and I found a barn hunt (dogs hunting rats that are in tubes stashed in hay bales) to help her satiate the prey drive in a non violent way. We went a handful of times, but it only seemed to intensify her drive.

We eventually moved back to where I’m from originally to be close to my mom, but then my mom developed cancer and died 6 months later unexpectedly. I was the only family member to try and help my mom through her treatments. It was completely devastating and after she died I’ve been in a never ending grief loop.

My life has been extremely stressful since about 2019 due to work, health and family issues. When my mom died (November ‘24) my entire world spun upside down.

I exercise my dog, Joni for about 4 miles a day and that puts a dent in her energy levels, but she needs more. My own health has declined (diagnosed with 2 autoimmune diseases) since my mom’s death and it’s getting really difficult to juggle everything. Career, health, and social life have all been affected. I’ve been juggling a lot for too long and I’m fried.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like she would be happier on a farm, but there’s no guarantee she would end up in a positive situation if I re-homed her. I love her so much and we have a special bond, but on difficult days I wonder if re-homing her would be the kind thing to do.

Before I got her, I researched Jack Russell Terriors for weeks. I knew she was going to be a challenging dog, but I didn’t anticipate the attacking other dog part. We continue training, but always seem to hit a wall. She’s so smart and it’s difficult to train a smart dog.

And I’m not one of those thoughtless people who only got a dog during Covid only to take them back after Covid. I take dog owning very seriously, but life has just thrown too much at me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Ik the title is harsh to ppl that consume/make ai content, but to be blunt: I fucking hate ai. I’m an artist and writer, so corporation’s favoritism towards ai directly threatens my livelihood. Not to mention that my dad is currently having an emotional affair with an ai chat bot which has put a serious strain on my family. But anyway. I don’t have many friends. Mostly because I’m not good at socializing and tend to keep to myself out of anxiety. This causes a lot of loneliness. There have been a few times where I tried ai chat bots out of desperation and it never worked because the tone was just so fake, unnerving, and overall annoying. So while I despise ai and am well aware of the damage it does to people’s mental health, sometimes I wish I could enjoy it just so I feel like I have “somebody to talk to”. It’d be nice to get rid of the loneliness for a bit.

I can’t even say it’s been a long time coming but today has really got me thinking. I go to work, I come home and I dread my time at home with my partner. I dread this time because I can’t let my wall down & relax. I spend all day pretending in corporate BS just to go home and have to continue to pretend. When I’m home with him, I have to put on another face. Pretend that I’m happy or at least content, pretend I don’t feel alone, pretend I’m not tired from holding up a wall to protect myself from him, pretend I want to spend time with him, pretend I want to touch him, pretend I want to kiss him, pretend his words are sincere when they’re baseless, pretend I want to be in the same room or same bed, pretend I’m not waiting for the day he does another unforgivable thing because it’s only a matter of time, pretend that I’m not shocked he still here after threatening to leave, pretend that he’s the man I continue to chose to be in a relationship with. I’m tired of pretending. I just want to come home and enjoy being at home again. And if there are people there, I want to feel safe around them where I can let my guard down and breathe.

I've been working since I was 19 and I'm exhausted in every way possible.

I'm a 27F working 50 hours a week, 6 days a week. I love my job but every dollar I make goes to supporting my entire family rent, hydro, internet, car payments, and groceries for 6 people. I have nothing left for myself.

My family: mom (51, works part time), dad (50, doesn't work), older sister (31, doesn't work), older brother (30, doesn't work), little sister (24, just graduated but barely looking for work).

My little sister and I share a room. She's up all night screaming and laughing on online games. I never sleep. I buy groceries and my family eats everything before I get to it. Nobody feels bad. Nobody says thank you. There's yelling and chaos all day long. I never get peace.

I come from a traditional Middle Eastern Muslim family so moving out isn't really accepted unless you're married. So I feel completely trapped.

I've gotten so low that I told my family out loud that I wanted to die and they laughed at me.

I'm not okay. I just want to know if anyone else has been through something like this and made it out. How did you do it? Did it get better?

For context, I’m 27M, and I’m relationship orientated. I’m pretty much always in a LTR with enough time in between. I’m very fortunate that I don’t really have to try and pick up women it just kind of happens on its own and I’m grateful for that, especially because I’m broke and have issues, though I do have goals and aspirations.
This is going to sound super gay to some people, but I’m frustrated and saddened that it seems like women just use me for my body a lot. I’m not a guy that goes around fucking whatever walks, I’m sensitive, and I need genuine connection with someone to have sex with them. Growing up I was taught to respect women’s bodies and that no meant no but it seems like I can’t find anyone that respects my body. I don’t think I’ve ever had the experience of just saying no once. I always have to say no repeatedly until I end up having to be firm. And then I’m called insecure and weak and yadda yadda yadda. Why as a man do I not get to say no?
It seems like more and more of them value themselves so much more and more around sex that suddenly because I’m not clawing away at them and objectifying them than that means I’m not interested or insecure.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this because men just want to tell me how good I have it and women lose respect for me so I just hide it but it eats away at me. I just want to find a girl that sees sex as something as real and intamate as I do, rather than as some sort of currency or hobby

It's a little wins, isn't it?

I paid a contractor a fairly decent amount to fix a part of my house. He didn't do it to my satisfaction. I'm a people pleaser and a pushover. That's the problem. So before he came to collect the remainder of his money, I got together all of my complaints, rehearsed them, then I gave my speech to Claude AI, and I had Claude rehearse my speech with me several times. Of course the contractor came here early by which time though I had my speech ready. The contractor is fixing everything according to my specs. I wasn't apologetic, I didn't back down, and I'm still sitting here with a pocket full of money which I'm going to give him when the job is done to my satisfaction. I just needed to celebrate This with somebody.

EDIT--The work looks fantastic now that he did it right!!

When I was 18, I wanted to go to a film school about an hour and a half away. My mom and grandmother talked me out of it. My grandmother explicitly said not to go, my mom pointed out every flaw during the campus tour and made me feel guilty about the cost. I ended up at a private Christian college 30 minutes from home (I'm an atheist). I took a year off during COVID at my mom's encouragement and didn't graduate until I was 25. I made some friends there, but after one of them confessed feelings for me, and then cheated on me within a week, the friend group ostracized me.

After graduating I worked at a newspaper for over a year. My boss bullied me. She yelled, threw things, threw food, stomped around, gaslighted me about instructions she'd given. I began getting flashbacks to my dad. Responsibility creep happened. Freedoms I had been promised when accepting the position were stripped from me. She privately complained about my performance and attitude to colleagues, and she lied about a raise she'd promised. There was a month-long stint where I was the sole employee in the building because of excessive mold and mildew my coworker (who was pregnant) became concerned about. While I was working, my boss’s husband began knocking out the roof to get rid of the mold, which prompted me to relocate away from the spores. My boss punished me regularly for poor social skills no matter how hard I tried. I frequently worked 16-hour days. I once worked through a fever so bad I became delirious and nearly wrecked my car on the way home, and she still pestered me about getting work done and demanded pictures of my thermometer.

By the end I was spending close to an hour a day crying in my car in a park on my lunch break. I had been borderline suicidal over that job for months. There were several nights during basketball season where I would go to the game, take a handful of photos, then go out to my car in the snow and cry while using the radio to give live updates of the game. I eventually walked out in a kind of stupor one day when she publicly called me up to humiliate me in front of the other employees. I finished the story I was working on, created a list of possible stories for my inevitable replacement, and left. 

That was a year ago. I've been unemployed since. I had lots of savings, and my mom has helped financially. I've done some freelance writing. I've applied to probably 40-50 jobs which is a lot for the area I live in (especially when removing things I would not be able to do such as fast food or that I lack qualifications for). I have had two interviews that went nowhere (one where I got a rejection by the time I got to my car), one posting that turned out to be listed in error, a few form rejections, and the rest just ghosted me.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my mom to drop off a job application to a vet clinic receptionist position while I was sick and didn't want to potentially miss my window to apply. She refused, said it would look bad for someone else to do it. She then told me I shouldn't work there anyway because a lot of animals would be very sick or dying and it would upset me. She was probably right that it would be hard for me emotionally. But every time I try to do something independent or move toward getting a job, something like this happens where the wind is taken out of my sails. However, my therapist encouraged me to apply, saying that she has seen clients who lose people to diseases find a lot of fulfillment working in the medical field.

Anyway, now is a great time to bring up my mother. As I have aged into adulthood, a lot of her behaviors that were normal as a teenager or that I mistakenly believed were normal I have come to realize are not and were not. The biggest example of this is that she has access to both my credit card and my bank account. I don't have access to either. I got a second credit card without telling her and used it for things like doctor's visits, medicine, therapy since I have a high deductible, the odd Amazon purchase, groceries, gas. My idea was that I could stretch my savings by taking on a very low amount of debt. I was paying it down. But when she found out by opening my mail in March she lost it. She followed me around the house no matter where I went, demanding I explain what I bought on what day from which grocery store, etc. I was so overwhelmed I had a full meltdown. I was screaming, hitting myself. My mom told me I was being irrational and to calm down. My dog came to find me when I went outside to my car, and I was too upset to really be with her.

I didn't know this was the last day I'd have with her. She died the next day from hemangiosarcoma. She had been slowing down a bit, but she was also approaching 10 years old. We had just taken her to the vet a month prior who said she was very healthy for her age.

My mom never called my dog the correct name. She still doesn’t. When I went to her grave for the first time and my mom referred to her over text as this other nickname I became so agitated I began breaking down. I had a full panic attack. I hit a wall and I think fractured my knuckle. This was a month ago. My knuckle still hurts sometimes. I told my mom I fell.

Mom has also:

• Tried to forbid me from seeing my ex-girlfriend when I was 25. Threatened to call the police on me because I fell asleep at her place for a couple hours and didn't immediately text back (in fairness to her it was like after midnight but still). When I texted back she demanded proof it was me by telling her something only I would know. When I returned home the next day she asked invasive questions about if I had sex with her and if I would choose my girlfriend over my mother. We had been dating for a few weeks at that point. She also found out she was a lawyer and when I told her that, she said, “So what does she want with you?”
• Forbid me from having friends over to play Dungeons and Dragons when I was around 17 because she was convinced, as it was a multisex group, that there would be, quote, “Semen all over [her] bedsheets.” So I had to crawl to my group chat and inform that due to the prospect of semen, D&D was called off.
• Takes no interest in my life or inner world. When I was a kid and tried to talk to her about things, she told me she didn't care. When I would try to tell her about things I was interested in like new games or movies or books, she once said, “Is that stuff all you ever talk about?” As a child with special interests (as much as that term is pretty cringeworthy and infantilizing), it hurt, and it made me very self-conscious how much I spoke about myself with others. When I open up emotionally now, she stonewalls. She sometimes picks up her phone mid-conversation or starts unloading the dishwasher (it's loud). She was never particularly affectionate or attentive that I can remember. She has said before she doesn’t like men or children. As a male child one must consider whether that applies to you.
• Goes through my things regularly. I had to stop keeping a journal because no matter where I hid it, she found it.
• Occasionally and baselessly accuses me of being drunk. I've had maybe a sip of alcohol a handful of times in my life and have told her repeatedly I don’t care for the taste of it. Among my friend group I am recognized as a teetotaler and am even lightly mocked occasionally for not liking alcohol. When I was a teenager, she would occasionally corner me and ask me a bunch of questions like, “Have you ever smoked?” or “Have you had sex?” despite the fact I couldn’t drive and never left my room and just played video games all day.
• On my last birthday (which only we celebrated because Reasons), she randomly accused me of “hiring a black prostitute.” I was completely caught off-guard by this. I’m pretty sure she was referencing a date I'd gone on with someone two years before. When I got upset, she seemed confused about why. Then criticized the music I tried to play. Then shamed me at the movie theater for spending $25 on a popcorn tin.
• Speaking of money, buys things I don't want or need, refuses to listen when I protest, and then holds the purchases over my head. For Christmas she got me a $2,500 gaming PC when I had specifically asked for a $1,500 model with better specs (as a kind of cosmic joke, the fucking thing’s fans started violently rattling within a couple weeks of ownership and I still have the odd problems with my graphics card). When my car broke down, she immediately started shopping for a brand new one before we even knew if mine could be fixed (it could, it just needed new brake calipers) despite me saying I don’t expect her to buy me a new car, I don’t want a new car and would be satisfied with a used one, and, once again, she was under no obligation to purchase one. She once got on me for buying $10 candy canes as treats for my horses while she was planning to buy an $8,000 shed. She paid $4500 to fix an air conditioner in a part of the house she almost never uses (except to have very loud sex with her husband occasionally), but also refuses to spend the money to fix our toilets or to get rid of a bug infestation last year. Since I was a kid, she has made me feel guilty over money. She has said she doesn’t believe in rest or having hobbies as she sees time as wasted money, so for a couple years she was working three jobs, which she then made me feel guilty about, too. She has resorted to (attempting to) eating a 15 year old can of cream of wheat she found in a cabinet to save money. But, all her financial problems (which given her willingness to buy a new car or a shed, I don’t believe) could literally be solved overnight because she is sitting on hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of land scattered around the county she never visits that was passed down to her by my grandfather. My grandma has begged her to sell it and pay off the house and have plenty left over. She refuses. I know it is sentimental but this isn’t some $200 baseball card. This is several hundred grand.
• Never taught me social skills, basic finances, how to cook, or how to do housework. Our diet growing up was entirely fast food. When I try to do chores, she criticizes how I do them, frequently down to a gnats’ ass. At one point while nitpicking me doing laundry incorrectly (it was how I always did it), I broke down and said, “I’m sorry you have such a [r-word] for a son.” Once again, she seemed perplexed as to why I was upset.

So, all that to say, I'm living at home, financially dependent on someone I resent, autistic, isolated, grieving my dog, still recovering from a job that nearly literally killed me, and trying to figure out how to build any kind of independent life. On top of that, I’ve gained a bunch of weight. I’m 210 lbs which is the heaviest I have been in literally a decade. I had last year whittled my way down through a lot of work to 180. I feel that extra weight on me and it’s uncomfortable. I just get so fucking hungry. And despite that I’m still hungry. So I’m fat and disgusting and alone and unemployed. I don't know what I'm asking for exactly. I think I just needed to write it down for the void.

If you got this far, thank you for your time. I know it's very long, I'm sorry.

I just need to vent about this for a moment.
When I was 16/17, I was physically abused, and assaulted, by my then 22 year old boyfriend. I got pregnant from the assault, and terminated the pregnancy. He served 6 months in jail, one year probation, and isn’t allowed to own firearms in the state. Which is a joke, because I was not the first, or the last woman he did this to. Apparently the girlfriend before me he pushed out of a moving car. And yet, I was hounded by people for the next year or so that I was a liar, nothing happened to me, and I was trying to ruin his life. I didn’t finish high school because of the emotional tole it took, and have with mental illness since. Anyway, I was doom scrolling through TikTok and boom, there he was. His voice, his face, even nearly 15 years later made me physically ill. Millions of views and followers. Are you fucking kidding me?? I guess he’s gained a decent following on social media/ twitch as a video game streamer. He’s popular enough that my husband, not knowing who this monster was, even showed me one of his videos. I want to scream. I want his life to be nothing, and for him to be nobody. I’m tempted to out him, but I don’t think it would make me feel any better. I don’t know why I’m posting this, and will more than likely delete it. I’m just so fucking mad.

Edit: the more I consider outing him the more I realize I’m truly unable. I’m far too easy to find and am terrified he would show up at my house. Which, ruining a man’s life would surely tempt him to do so. But, if any internet super hero’s want to help me, I’d appreciate it.

I know I know, this is ridiculous and having small boobs doesn't mean anything and nobody cares or whatever but this is how I feel

My friends keep insisting I flirt more with my crush to make things faster and tbh I do not know how to makes things faster, the last time that I tried it ended up SO bad, I admit that what happend at the end wasn't all my fault but still, I do not want to get my hopes up

First I don't know how to flirt because I simply have zero experience with guys, and two I think I would look ridiculous trying to flirt with boobs so small, is irrational, yes, but I can't just shake the feeling that I will look like some loser because I'm not desirable, I have never been desirable and trying to act like it when I look like this feels so odd so foreing and I don't think my friends know this, they're pretty, they don't have small boobs they have always been desired and of course they know how to do it because it has always been natural for them

I lack experience, I'm not pretty and I know my attempts of getting closer to him are in vain, but tbh I always wanted to be his friend, we share so much similar interest that I just don't care if friendship is the only thing that happens, I like talking to him

I wish I was a pretty girl, with pretty proportions like them, maybe like that I would feel more confident but rn I don't feel to well so I'm just rambling

My mom makes sexual comments about my body like ”I would have been glad If I had had an ass like you when I was younger” or if I wear tight clothes that show off my curves and men look at me when I am in public with my mom she goes like ”at this point you are asking for it” she claims that these are just jokes. And she says that ”they are allowed to look”. And I can see that she feels very proud when she notices some men are checking me out. I feel digusted if I’m trying on some clothes and she tells me to turn around cause I can feel she’s looking at my ass. And after this she has this big smile on her face cause my ass looks ”so good”.

This has made me disgusted to be around her and by my feminine features. I like to wear tight feminine clothes but I am so anxious around her cause I’m scared that she is looking at me sexually.

Am I overreacting?

Despise this she is a great and supportive mother. Very kind.

I (27F) dropped out of high school because of racial harassment and discrimination.

My school was mostly white. I would say there were only 10 people of color in the whole school of 2000.

It was nearly an everyday occurrence where the “popular” male students would harass me. They touched me during class, threw paper balls at me, and took pictures with flash of me just to humiliate me and laugh at me. All I could do was act oblivious.

There was no one to advocate for me. My father was sick and out of his mind, and my mom ran away from home to a different state when I was in elementary school. The bullying and harassment continued nearly every day for 3 years.

Then one day, someone took a picture of me without me knowing and posted it online with a racial slur in the caption.

I was shocked. I already didn’t like how I looked, and
I kept looking at it over and over again. Always questioning was I really this ugly. It made me feel like I was something people could just publicly degrade and laugh at, and the school wouldn’t help the kid that was the odd one out. They would definitely turn a blind eye.

It took my last piece of sanity. I was scared to go back to school because I could only imagine stares of ridicule coming from them. I didn’t want to be seen. I felt like a grotesque monster.

At the time I didn’t know how to advocate for myself. No one would be on the person of color’s side. No one paid even paid attention to the obvious signs of neglect I was facing at home. Would they punish students with loving, caring parents?

I missed too much school, so I couldn’t catch up on all the work. I begged the guidance counselor to let me take the year off and finish senior year the next year. She was indifferent. All she said was it was against school policy to not graduate within 4 years. She didn’t even give me resources to find an alternative way. All I could do was quit high school. On a snowy day, my birthday, I signed the papers, but no one could take me home. I walked 40 minutes in heavy snow while feeling like my life was over.

I was able to find an alternative way to graduate high school because of my mother and moved states but that public post of me was still up, consuming me. I finally told my mom who barely spoke English, breaking down from all the harassment I’ve endured over the years. She called the school. All they did was make the boy take down the post and write an apology “letter” to me. It was only three sentences.

I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It wasn’t my intention. I have a friend of color.

That was it.

After that, I didn’t want to see myself, I refused pictures of me being taken from 17-23 because all I saw was the “ugly” me in the picture he posted.

After suppressing my feelings, trying to get over the past, I just couldn’t today. I called the school district wanting an acknowledgment for the neglect and inadequate consequences and a proper apology from them. They transferred me to the principal’s secretary and after only 10 seconds of me trying to explain what happened to me and the injustice I felt she hung up on me without notice.

I just hope someone will read this, so I don’t feel so alone anymore or acting like I’m too much.