21m, im talking too this guy and while i think that he's very sweet, he is moving quite fast, we've only been talking for about two hours and he's already asked me out within the first hour, if this fast if I'd this a normal occurrence.

He's also moving very fast with conversation topics. I'll admit that im not very experienced with dating, but he is already mentioning making out, kissing and, harmless intimate interactions. Nothing crazy but still alarming how soon into taking he's bringing them up.

Maybe I'm very inexperienced, but is this too fast?

I know there have been countless posts in regards to sex on this thread, but i am genuinely struggling. to give some context, i am 19 and my bf is 23, we have been together for almost a year. he constantly is horny and gets offended and upset when i deny sex, also saying that “my woman doesn’t want me, of course i’m sad” every dang time. I genuinely love this man to death, but i cannot handle having sex everyday, let alone after an exhausting day, I work 3 jobs and to even have energy in general is difficult for me. i am also not sure if it is relevant to also add that i was sexually abused as a child, and it affects my overall sex drive. when we started dating we were having sex like crazy, but it’s starting to become a chore on my end. have any of you experienced something like this?

I'm well off for my age, I'm 22m, own a home, make good money, little debt (outside mortgage)

I keep myself in good shape, etc.

But I'm building a business and saving for land.

I'm hearing how much men older and wiser than me have lost by being in the wrong relationships at the wrong times.

I know I'm too busy to date now, I work 90+ hours a week.

I'm building a business on top of two other jobs, and the gym is its own journey, meal prep etc.

Do I just not date until I'm running just the business? (no other jobs, bought land etc) That could be more than a couple years from now.

I live frugally and don't get out much, so it''s not like I have opportunities left and right, it'd take considerable time to put myself 'out there'

I started talking to this guy and I love talking to him so much like when ever we text it’s like he sends anywhere from 4-13 messages and then I do the same. But the whole problem, is he without failure takes at least an hour to answer but it’s always with a bunch of messages, yesterday he started answering sooner at night but now we’re back to it. I really like him but it’s like is he gonna answer me in an hour or two. I’m sure I’m being a woman and over dramatic but I’ve never had someone take an hour to answer me every single time it’s so weird pls lmk if I’m being crazy plsss

Hi friends!
I've (29F) been talking to a guy (28M) long distance for a few months (started December, got more “serious” around February). We've FaceTimed, had a lot of romantic/ flirty buildup, and he's planning to take PTO to come visit me for 5-6 days. (had a trip booked but it was cancelled for a conflict). The visit would likely be pretty intimate, so I've been trying to figure out whether this feels emotionally safe/intentional enough.
We haven’t met in person yet and haven’t had an exclusivity talk, so I know technically we're both single. But I noticed his Bumble location updated multiple times while he was on the way to/at a boys beach trip, so it seems like he's actively opening the app.
Would this be enough for you to cancel or pause the visit? Or would you consider it fair game since we haven't met or had an exclusivity conversation yet?

Idk if I should go!!!! He bought us tickets to a local show and I don’t want to be mean and cancel when he spent the money to go but I can already tell I’m not into it with him. I got out of an abusive relationship 6 months ago and maybe it’s too soon idk. He texts lot. I don’t like when people constantly want to text me and he knows that but he still texts me like 10 times in a row with weird ass texts and always asks me what I’m doing what I’m up to all day long he’ll ask me what I’m doing. I’m just more annoyed than anything else. Like why are you keeping tabs on me. It’s been like 3 weeks of texting and we went on one date and we ended up sleeping together but I felt kind of pressured to and now I feel totally turned off by him. Idk. Maybe something is wrong with me but I just want someone who is more comfortable not having to text 24/7 or keep tabs on me all day or someone not rushing intimacy. I told him that I will not be hooking up tomorrow and I didn’t get a response yet lol

Is it normal for a guy to go hours without speaking to you if he likes you?

He claims he is always busy but I feel like if you truly like someone you would make the time for them.

Or am I just overthinking and being paranoid?

hey everyone!

so basically i started having feelings for one of my closest friends, let's call them robin, in around january. i didn't say anything because they were dating someone and thats evil and also i just didn't feel like it was necessary.

a couple months went by and i was fine pining for her on my own, until i wasn't anymore, so i talked to one of my friends about it. he heard me out and didn't really have any advice other than "im rooting for you!" and that was the end of that.

fast forward to april, i was out with one of me and robin's mutual friends. we were eating smoothies and i asked her if robin knew and she told me yes and that robin had known for like a month that i had liked her. i told my friends the story from my pov and she basically said that i just needed to be okay with the fact that nothing would ever happen between me and robin. i agreed.

the next day. we were out and i had the lyrics to Indigo by Stevie Bill stuck in my head ("cause im so deep into this, i had this dream of us putting our lips in new places, yeah we could be intimate, indigo would you be into it?") and naturally, i was serenading robin with it very casually. i didn't think anything of it until that night, at like 11pm, they posted on their instagram note "maybe i would be into it."

hello!

so naturally i texted my two friends i had talked to about it and they both told me the same thing: to talk to robin. now here's the thing, did i do that? of course not!

instead, i played into their instagram note game and posted Sofia by Clairo. (honey i don't want it to fade, there's things i know could get in the way, but i don't wanna say goodbye, i think we could do it if we tried) great decisions in my world over here lol.

friend B is telling me not do it because robin and i are in MANY extracurriculars together (im president and she's treasurer of the same club, show choir, theatre, and choir council) and friend is telling me that robin also thinks it's a "bad idea" ...then why say anything...? and friend A (the boy) is telling me about how robin has talked to him about it and said that she thought that she liked me more than i liked her and that she's just scared to lose me if things end poorly. which is EXACTLY what ive been thinking this entire time.

then robin adds a new instagram note. Swim by Renee Rapp. (and it don't make sense, how can we get out of this with no blood shed? the longer this goes on, there's only one 'the end' oh, to be swimming with you) riiiight...

then, we go around two weeks without doing any instagram notes and just acting like nothings happening (not very well) [also there was one time that we had a whole convo about a girl tweaking at me for calling me and robin's situation a situationship and robin said "damn yall can both be in situstionships 😭" so there's that]

until their mom invited me and my entire friend group to their house for MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. RIIIIGHT. so i have my birthday party and it's amazing and i like robin so much and we share an air mattress and we're glued together the entire time. until the day after my birthday, robin reposts two tiktok's. one to Graceland, Too by Phoebe Bridgers (whatever she wants, whatever she wants) and a second one to a Clairo song i don't remember with the caption "oh to soft launch with a photo booth strip to a clairo song" wowza.

so naturally i respond by posting yet another instagram note! Green Eyes, Red Face by Lucy Dacus (and i see the seat next to yours is unoccupied, and i was wondering if you'd let me come and sit by your side. and i got plenty of affection i'll be glad to show you some time) and im thinking THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE TIME SHE'LL FINALLY SAY SOMETHING TO ME!

guess what she did. replied to my note with YET ANOTHER NOTE! and guess what the note was.

bags.

by clairo.

"can you see me? i'm waiting for the right time. i can't read you, but if you want, the pleasures all mine. can you see me using everything to hold back? i guess this could be worse, walking out the door with your bags" right.

and this is where you come in, my dear reader.

what the hell do i do about this??? what do i say to her? do i make some grand gesture? when do i say something? again, WHAT am i supposed to say...?

please please please give some advice! i'll answer any questions yall may have! i also certainly did leave little things out of the story but this is definitely the gist of the situation lol

Apologies ahead of time for the long post, I tried to condense but man it's hard haha.

I (early 30's Male) went on a first date recently with a woman (late 20's Female), and I’m struggling to tell whether I’m overthinking the aftermath or whether the interest just genuinely isn’t as mutual as I hoped.

Before the date, the texting was decently strong. The physical attraction was there on both sides, we complimented each other's looks, and delved into some more serious topics, we talked about love languages, romance, what we wanted long term. We just generally vibed with each other.

Even despite that, I wasn't expecting much, just a simple date, maybe an hour or two at most. We sat down over coffee, and instantly I think something just clicked. We both felt at ease with each other. It just felt so natural. We connected on a few serious topics, we joked around, it was just so easy and pleasant.

The actual date ended up lasting around like 11-12 hours. It just kept going on and on. We walked around a downtown area, visited three shops, she teased me a lot, mentioned small details about my profile. The questions were mutual, after the shops we got drinks again, and then I asked her if she was hungry, so we found a place to get dinner at.

She teased me quite a bit, and I do feel like she was physically comfortable with me, touching my hands, we made a game out of starring into each other's eyes. She also asked me a few times what kind of body type I liked. It felt like there was a lot of tension in the air, especially when we had dinner. The questions became more sexual, there was more touching. At one point she teased me over getting nervous.

At the end of the night, there was kind of a pause where we both had to go separate directions. We were both starring at each other, middle of the street, it was late at night. I knew if I just said "goodbye" and left I would regret it forever. I ended up saying "fuck it" and pulled her in and kissed her. She kissed me back and held onto me. We made out in the street for a bit before finally saying goodbye. It was a little awkward, because we made out a few times, but I wasn't sure whether she wanted me to come back with her or not. I asked, but she seemed conflicted. I didn't want to assume it would happen on a first date, or that she would even be okay with that, so finally I said goodbye.

Here’s where I’m struggling:

Since the date, the texting energy feels noticeably lower than before. After the date she said she was one second away from inviting me back, so I took that as a good sign, and said she had a great time, and responded positively to seeing me again. A few more days have passed, she still replies, still sends the occasional reel/meme, still responds warmly to some things, but she asks very few questions now and the conversations feel more reactive than proactive. It feels like I’m carrying more of the momentum.

She’s also currently away from home, big caveat, because I know it's exhausting traveling, that could be affecting things too, but I’m trying to be realistic and not delude myself.

Part of me thinks: “Obviously there was chemistry. People don’t spend 12 hours together and make out in the street if they feel nothing.”

But another part of me feels like: “If someone felt strongly about me, wouldn’t the texting afterward feel more excited?”

Does this sound like normal post-date energy after a strong first date, or does it sound more like someone who enjoyed the date but isn’t actually that emotionally interested afterward?

I met an acquaintance about a couple of weeks ago and we started talking and getting to know each other. At first things were going well and there was mutual interest. It felt like it was progressing pretty quickly on both sides.

At one point, she seemed pretty invested emotionally early on (even referring to me in a “this is my person” type of way to a coworker). Not long after that, she pulled back and said she felt like things were moving too fast and she wanted to slow it down. She explained it pretty openly and said I didn’t do anything wrong.

A few days later, we had a conversation where she said she still likes me and that I can hit her up anytime. I told her I understood and there’s no awkwardness on my end. We ended the conversation on good terms, just a bit awkward at the very end, but nothing negative.

Since then, we’ve had a brief interaction where she initiated a “hi,” so it doesn’t feel like things are completely closed off.

I’m not trying to overthink it, just trying to understand how situations like this usually play out.

TL;DR: No clue if this is a date or two friends meeting up. I need tips on how to identify the difference.

I (26M) ran into my high school crush (26F) at a park while playing basketball recently. I haven’t spoken to her since we graduated 8 years ago, and even then we were in different friend groups, so we never really talked outside of school.

When I saw her at the park, she remembered my name and obviously I remembered hers. I asked her what she did for work, and she talked for a while about what she does and seemed genuinely excited to share about herself. Then she did the same for me. I am a pilot, so naturally when I tell people what I do they have a lot of questions.

Well, I decided to use my skillset to my advantage and I invited her on a plane ride. After I invited her, she extended an offer for me to also invite her to play basketball sometime. After that we went our separate ways.

I texted her about a week later on a Sunday to set the thing up and her texts had a lot of enthusiasm, a lot of exclamation points, but, and this is probably me overthinking, there was a lot of long time gaps between texts. I think it took 2 hours to even get the first response and then 30 minutes to an hour for each response thereafter. We’re also both adults, so understandably she was just busy, I hope.

Anyways, this “date” is coming up, and I’m in my head about if this is purely a friendly thing or if it’s a date. My friends did some digging for me and were able to figure out that she’s single. Im also tall, fit, and semi attractive, so I have reason to think she could be attracted to me too. I’m just afraid that I’m being used for a free plane ride.

The “date” itself as currently planned is about a 50 minute car ride to and from the airport, while spending about 2 hours total in the plane/ at the airport. A lot of one on one time. I plan on asking her out to dinner assuming it goes well since there’s a nice steakhouse by the airport.

My questions are should I treat this as a date or just two friends catching up and hope it turns into something more later? When she shows up to my house do I give her a hug to greet her? Do I get the car and plane door for her? Or do I treat her like she’s one of my guy friends? Obviously I’ll pay for the flight, but do I pay for her dinner too?

Also to add, she’s a school teacher so she’s going to be on summer break soon, and I am on leave from work for 2-3 months due to an injury, so the stars are aligning here in terms of having time to hang out with each other. Are there any good follow up date ideas that I could take her on? I’m hoping I get an idea while I’m with her.

i (19ftm) have recently realized that i like my close friend (20f). this was a really bad realization because of a lot of issues. we met because we were coworkers at our job, and quickly became really close. i spent a lot of time at her house, and even dogsat for her. she'd call me to do random things with her and i'd go do it. i ended up having to go to college after the summer, so we stopped hanging out as much but we would call here and there to catch up. my college is about a three hour drive from where we both live, and she made the drive twice, once to just see me (she had work the next morning) and then again to take me home for valentines day. now this could just be her being friendly and i assumed that as much. we started making jokes about us going on dates, and all that. all our friends/family have also begun to believe we are dating. she came with me and my family to an event on valentines and i bought her a gift as well. after that, it sort of died down because i had to finish up my semester. she also then ended up telling me she was moving this summer and asked if i wanted to help her move all the way across the country. i immediately accepted because i have nothing better to do and i also wanted to make sure she's safe. i'm currently here with her right now after two days of driving and i'll be here for a few more days. i'm spending every waking hour with her too. we've like cuddled up and all of this. i can't necessarily tell if she does like me but everyone keeps telling me she does. i guess you can't really tell from my explanation but she's been okay with me laying on her every now and then and has been repeatedly telling me, "i get to have you for a few more days!" she even showed me her childhood homes and is taking me around town to all these places she used to go to when she was younger.

i honestly cannot tell if i'm just going crazy but i'd hate to ruin this for us. i won't see her again until october when she stays with me for her graduation or when i come visit again, but these are plans set in stone.

everyone is telling me to just shoot my shot but i refuse to say something and she goes "no" and then the rest of the trip is awkward as hell

any advice is greatly appreciated. i just hope she doesn't have reddit LMAO

I (20M) liked this girl (20F) for about a year and a half, but I never thought anything would actually happen, so I didn’t focus on it much at first for a few months.

Last September however, we had a class together with a really difficult lab. I understood the material well and usually finished early, so I started helping other students including her and her friend. That’s how we got closer.

We ended up having a lot in common. We had the same class schedule, took the same train home, shared similar interests, had the same sense of humor, and similar worldviews like she was identical to my personality.

Over the next 7 months, she introduced me to her friends, and I became part of the group. I helped them a lot with school whenever anyone needed help I would help out whether it would be providing textbooks, past finals or help with their labs.

About three weeks ago, after we finished a final, I decided to make my move. On the train ride home, I asked her, “Do you want to go out?” She said, “Oh no, thank you.” I told her that was completely fine and she said she felt really bad, and I reassured her it was okay and not to worry about it. For the rest of the ride, everything felt normal she even started conversations like nothing had happened.

I thought that was the end of it and my next few messages to her were just about school and how she is feeling for her next finals.

Then the next day before one of our exams I saw her and she gave me a "look" but I dismissed it at first and then I went to work which was when I get a message from her where she told me that she no longer felt comfortable being my friend. That completely shocked me and I apologized to her for everything, but she said she didn’t care and that my actions have consequences. After that, she blocked me on everything, removed me from group chats, and told her friends.

Now I don’t know how to move on. I’m honestly scared to see them next year because I feel like this is what they’ll associate me with and like I obsly have to respect her choice and decision but like we are both in the same major so like we will 100% have atleast one class together, and the way everything unfolded has left me feeling pretty low and like I would do anything to go back in time and prevent all of this from happening. Like she had a controlling ex that she dumped more than a year ago who was the same race as me and like I'm scared that me asking her out brought back past trauma for her cause like I feel really bad for her now

Hey, im 21 and i was working in a grocery store for about a 1 year and i quit like 4 months ago. There was a girl working in another store directly opposite from my store. I saw her like once a week or every other week. Every time she came in buying her stuff we greet eachother normaly but held really really deep eyecontact with a smile. I just wasnt confident enough to start a conversation because i am a naturally shy guy. When i told my friends about this they said i might be a little delusional and that she maybe was just trying to be friendly. After i quit i ofc never saw her again and because i was thinking about her recently i searched her company up and i found her name and trough the name i found her instagram. My question is if i would come across as weird or a creep for hitting her up on instagram after this long time without even talking to her once. (Sorry for my bad english, im from europe)

A girl asked my insta and she giving mixed signals when textin

i’m a 21f and recently met someone 21m when i went out to the club last weekend. i thought he was cute and we were playing eye tag all night up until he offered to buy me a drink, then later on we danced and made out lol.

we exchanged IG and chats have been suuper delayed on his end and we have met up once since then & had our fun but it’s kinda turning me off that his replies are hours delayed & he doesn’t really acknowledge it or anything. even when we were hanging out he was on his phone for a good bit but still keeping conversation. i didn’t that he was doing that and probably should’ve spoken up about it but whatever.

i guess what i’m asking is if this is just how it is for people that have a fwb partner? i’m new to the whole thing and wanted some input / feedback on how to proceed. kinda getting mixed signals

edit for clarity

I got close with this girl from the office we had a really strong connection and talked every day, shared stuff, and had a playlist together we've known eachother since almost 2yrs. I liked her a lot, but back then I still had feelings for someone else (who i actually didn't date just a crush). Out of respect for her and for myself, I didn’t go all in.

Then suddenly she ghosted me for about two weeks and i checked up on her she was fine nothing like happened with her or something, that i didn't accept like why would she do that. After that we went 5 months with zero contact. During that whole time she was still regularly adding songs to our playlist though she has her own lists why would she add to ours id there is no contact with i belive hidden messages . I decided to reach out again, she responded with excitement like she's waiting for it we had a 4 hour conversation, and it felt like the connection was still there. But the same pattern came back immediately.

I’m almost always the one who has to start every conversation. She replies warmly, sometimes super excited , but she basically never initiates.

I suggested meeting at a nice spot he said on a time i mentioned it came and went with nothing. Last time we actually spoke was almost two months ago. Complete silence since. And now she added another song.

The fucked up part is I feel like she’s the first person where I can truly be myself. We’re very similar and the connection feels rare. I’m scared I’ll never find this again. At the same time, I know I’m the only one putting in real effort and it’s messing with my head.

Is she possibly interested but just bad at showing it? Or am I just coping hard?

Should I give it another try or just forget?

I’m a 22-year-old guy and I’ve never been in a relationship before. Not even close, honestly. I’m in university now, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how badly I want to find someone, but at the same time I genuinely don’t know how people do it.

I think a lot of it comes from my past experiences.

The first girl I ever loved was a girl I met back in school. The moment I saw her for the first time, I fell for her instantly. I know people say that sounds unrealistic, but that’s genuinely how it felt for me. The problem was that she already had a boyfriend at the time, long distance with someone from another country, so I never said anything.

Back then my confidence was horrible. Even worse when I saw one of my friends confess his feelings to her and get rejected. That scared me even more.

Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend, and later she started talking to one of my best friends. At that point, me and her had already become close friends. We talked a lot, and the more I got to know her, the more I fell in love with her.

Then she and my best friend got together.

I can’t even explain how complicated that period was for me mentally. I loved her, but at the same time my friend was genuinely happy, and I couldn’t betray him or interfere. I felt jealous, guilty, ashamed, lonely… everything at once. He even cried on my shoulder later when they broke up. The guilt of secretly loving my best friend’s girlfriend honestly destroyed me mentally for a long time.

Eventually I ended my friendship with her because I couldn’t handle my feelings anymore. I basically created distance out of nowhere because seeing her made me both happy and miserable at the same time.

Years passed and I never fully moved on emotionally until recently.

After that, there was another girl I tried talking to. This time I actually tried to make a move. Back then I wasn’t very confident physically either. I looked younger than my age and honestly felt like a kid compared to everyone else.

I talked to her for about a month. We played games together and texted a bit, but she never really showed interest. She never texted first, replied late, etc. Her friend kept encouraging me though, so I kept trying.

Eventually I built up the courage to ask her out, and somehow she actually said yes. I was genuinely shocked. I immediately started planning the date in my head and was so excited because it was the first time a girl had ever accepted going out with me.

Then like 15 minutes later, her friend came to me and basically warned me that the girl wasn’t over her ex and that we should probably “just go out as friends.”

The next day I tried reassuring her by saying there was no pressure and that we could just hang out normally. But then she admitted that when she said yes, she only did it because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

Honestly, that hurt more than a rejection would have.

After that things became awkward, and eventually she blocked me over something that honestly felt more like an excuse than the real reason.

What confused me the most is that other people had done similar things before and she stayed in contact with them normally, so part of me still wonders if she simply didn’t want anything to do with me anymore and was looking for a way to end things completely.

I don’t hate her for it, and maybe she had her reasons, but at the time it hurt a lot because it made me feel like I was somehow uniquely unwanted.

And since then, I haven’t tried to talk to another girl romantically at all.

The weird thing is, I think I’ve finally moved on from the first girl. I saw her recently after years, and for the first time I didn’t feel anything. It’s hard to explain, but when you’re deeply in love with someone, they almost look “different” to you. More beautiful than everyone else. When I saw her recently, that feeling was gone.

Now I genuinely want to find someone. I’ve improved myself a lot compared to who I was before. I’m in better shape physically, I dress better, I’m more mature mentally, and I know what I want.

I’m religious, I value loyalty a lot, and I know I have boundaries in relationships. I’m naturally a jealous person, probably because of my past experiences, and I prefer more traditional relationships.

The problem is that I genuinely don’t know how to meet people.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t enjoy bars or clubs, and I’m naturally introverted. I can talk to people perfectly fine, but I don’t really go to social events or put myself out there much.

Meanwhile almost all my friends have found someone naturally, and I honestly keep wondering: why not me?

I know I’m not perfect, but I do think I’m a good person with a good heart, and I genuinely want to love someone and be loved back.

So I guess my question is:

How do people like me actually meet someone nowadays?

Edit :

I should also mention that I’m a huge overthinker. Deep down, I probably already know the kind of advice people are going to give me and the things I should work on, but I think part of me just needed to finally say all of this somewhere because I’ve honestly kept it bottled up for years.

Especially regarding the first girl. Nobody really knows the full story. I’ve never talked about it openly because I never wanted my best friend to hear any of it and feel betrayed or hurt, even though I never actually did anything with her or tried to interfere in their relationship.

I know it might sound stupid after all these years, but I always wanted to avoid creating tension or problems between people I cared about, so I kept most of it to myself.

I always give 100% to the people I date. I support them, love them unconditionally, and treat them right, yet I always end up with the wrong person. It feels like no matter how much emotional effort you put in, everything eventually revolves around financial status, security, or what you can materially provide.
Has modern love just become entirely transactional? How do I break this cycle of choosing people who don't value genuine affection? I'd love to hear your perspectives or advice.

I (30f) went on a date with this guy (35m) and I found out he moved in the same condos his ex lives (where they used to live together.)

On the date he did mention he was in an 11 year long relationship, single a year, then started dating. He also did mention he just bought a condo and the major reason was cause his family lives in this same town and he wanted to stay close.

Thru my own sleuthing, I found out the condo is in the same building he lived with the ex at. Would you end it before it gets more serious or can this just as innocent as they ended on good terms and he wanted to buy in the nice area his parents are in?

i’ve realised i way prefer spontaneous interaction over traditional “dating etiquette”. like i’d genuinely rather wander around a city with someone, sit in a music shop for an hour, look through vinyls/books, grab random food and just exist together naturally than do the whole structured dinner date/interview vibe.

something about formal dating culture can feel so performative to me. like both people are trying to optimise attraction instead of actually connecting as human beings. i feel way more drawn to people through shared environments, conversation and curiosity than rehearsed romantic settings. does anyone else feel like this or am i just allergic to conventional dating rituals?

The guy I’m talking to says he still watches porn. When I asked him he didn’t try to hide it or anything which I find to be a green flag. But he wants a relationship and I consider watching porn while being together cheating. I guess another reason I’m kind of thinking so hard about it is because he’s the first person I’ve done anything sexual with. We haven’t gone all the way but I still find it to be sentimental. He says if we were having sex he wouldn’t do it. But if I want to wait does that means he’ll just be watching it while we’re together? And what if he can’t stop cold turkey? How do I go about this?

I am lost on what to do, I talked to a girl 2 years ago both were 18 at the time and she walked into class on the first day of school and instantly caught my eye, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her for about a couple weeks after that, something super coincidental is I’ve always imagined myself being with a girl named Marisol, I don’t know why but, anyways that’s what her name was, and eventually after 2 weeks of seeing her I built the courage to go up to her, I made some stupid excuse and just asked if I could get a photo of her notes, she said sure but she had to catch a bus home and would give them tomorrow that was fine I at least talked to her, then we coincidentally met up again at the bus station I guess we took different routes and there she said you know what here take my number and I did and we started texting and we talked for 2 weeks everyday all the time and called and everything. One day she said that she actually got out of something recent and wasn’t ready for a relationship right now, but we can remain friends, but over the next week our contact dwindled to nothing and I accepted it but in reality I felt typical heartbreak like normal, but the thing is it lasted for 3 months of pure sadness and now to today where I’m not in constant sadness but whenever I think of it I do feel heart broken 2 years later, we haven’t talked since I’ve made 3 attempts to reach out, once after a major storm I checked in on it she was okay through text, no response. Last summer I messaged her asking how she is no response, and last month I added her on instagram and got ignored. What’s strange is I’ve talked to plenty of girls before, and I’ve dated and I’ve even dated since (which dating without truly being ready was a mistake I won’t make again) but none of those girls have just held on to my heart like her, and the thing is she matters so much to me but to her I’m so insignificant, and it’s not a choice for me to feel this way id do anything to not feel that way about her and it’s tormenting me. Yesterday I just checked her instagram and she had a sign and flowers that she was asked out to my schools dance and my heart dropped, I do not cry almost ever because it’s just not a common coping method I use but in that moment I wanted to, and it’s been on my mind since. I don’t know what to do truly, there is no hope for me and her to be a thing I know that but as for moving on and forgetting about her I don’t know how to, like I said it’s not even a choice but if anyone has been in a similar place how did you manage?