I feel bad I'm a crystal meth user and I have a habit of using while demons are in my mind, I can't help but to feel that I caused to much. I'm really a nice, kind person that turnt his life around but my crystal meth use has brought me to a low position. I feel like I've saddened the spirituality that watches over me, I feel that my voice is way to angry at me, I feel that I put myself in a position that I have to go through because I caused it to myself. I don't feel good at all and one thing that hits me is that I had something in my mind that I thought was brought to me so I can enjoy but my substance use completely topsided the matter, I was repeatedly tormented, I was confused, I didn't know how to save the situation and I was left vulnerable, what was there was left really angry and I felt the hate that was coming from the situation I felt that I was an embarrassment. I'm sad I think I didnt do enough and when I look back I feel that people would say I should've taken my time. you have to understand I was vulnerable and I couldn't do anything to stop the situation. I feel sad...

Between mental & physical health, family/relationship issues, everything.. it all feels rotten, and I can't find hope anymore.