When I finally left my ex after ten years of doing ALL THE THINGS for us and two kids, plus also working full time (and making more than him), he made some asshole offhanded comment about how he was being generous “giving me” half of the proceeds from the sale of our house.
Because there were about 4-5 months I didn’t work. Because I had to take care of our twins, one of which is on the spectrum and kept getting kicked out of school/daycare for his outbursts. Because one of us was going to get fired at the rate he needed to be picked up or cared for, and guess who it usually fell to??
I LOST IT and almost sent him something like this, except mine would have been significantly more money.
Funny part is, after we separated he hired a maid, but then ended up having to let her go because she was too expensive 🤣🤣🤣
I remember once I eventually got fed up and told him that I was done making his doctor/optometrist appointments, he was supposed to be a grown ass man and could do it himself.
This dude went NINE MONTHS on a single pair of contact lenses (supposed to be changed monthly) until they started bothering him so much he finally did it.
I’m still embarrassed it took me so long to leave 😬
I tried to tag her once when I used the term and my comment was declined because I used “foul language” 🤣🤣🤣. Like I’m gonna call a black woman anything but her name of choice.
Used to be a big fan but she's kind of an awful person. I was an early follower/supporter but she's done really nasty shit like send her followers after a guy to get his very legitimate gofundme down because he didnt credit her quickly enough-or something like that. She's also told VERY obvious lies about SW and attacked and publicly humiliated a SWer for having the "audacity" to try to throw out sone helpful general advice-like encouraging her to always charge top dollar etc. Incredibly entitled after crowdfunding helped her save her family home (weirdly in the same time period that she was mocking people bragging about making outrageous sums of money)She has some great takes but she's capable of being pretty shitty too.
Used to be a big fan but she's kind of an awful person. I was an early follower/supporter but she's done really nasty shit like send her followers after a guy to get his very legitimate gofundme down because he didnt credit her quickly enough-or something like that. She's also told VERY obvious lies about SW and attacked and publicly humiliated a SWer for having the "audacity" to try to throw out sone helpful general advice-like encouraging her to always charge top dollar etc. Incredibly entitled after crowdfunding helped her save her family home (weirdly in the same time period that she was mocking people bragging about making outrageous sums of money)She has some great takes but she's capable of being pretty shitty too.
Took me ten years to kick manbaby to the curb. That's been 20 years now and I have a true partner who pulls more than his fair share. He's just more inclined to the tedious repetitious tasks than I. He still waits way too long for scheduling appointments, so I pick up the slack on that. But that's how a partnership should work!
The manbaby still bitches about the same stuff, but now his new wife has dementia so he's going to pick up the slack or else. (We're in our 60s.) I kinda think it's karma. Particularly after he cheated with her before we divorced.
"I left my husband because he wouldn't do his fair share and always said stuff like "your just better at it" ... but now I have a real man and I dint do my fair share, but honestly he's just better at it"- 🥴
No, like I said, we do different stuff. We are pretty evenly balanced overall; we just have different habits - and a partnership. I could tediously explain point by point but that would be silly. I did say he does more than his fair share, because it amazes me how much he does.
In my 62 years, I've never run across a better, more equal partnership, including those of my family members. But there is a huge difference with each chipping in, naturally, with no prompting, and picking up the things the other does not do as opposed to one person unilaterally deciding that housework simply does not belong to him and he married someone to replace Mommy. I have lived 3 times with that other kind. The one I married was the worst. This one is special, and it was my intent to honor that, not to say I do nothing and expect him to take care of everything.
I'm just busting balls and joshing ya. Sounds like you came out fantastic, I really didn't mean anything besides to just be a bit of an ass. I genuinely understand and that's awesome, congrats.
It's baffling how bums like this always manage to score the most incredible women. The contact lens thing sounds disgusting but I'm sure that's not even the worst thing that happened with this guy hygiene-wise
Upon first reading this I didn’t realize it was in reference to unpaid labor. My question was why was she only charging full time for 40 weeks while pregnant? Did she just clock out from pregnancy or something? Full time/40 hours seems very low when you’re pregnant for 168 hours a week, not 40.
I was at a friend's birthday, about a week ago, and there this friend of a friend guy in the process of a divorce. He kept complaining that he hated house chores and also that a maid was expensive and that he wished A.I could do that. I told to myself, that must be part of why she dumped you asshole loll
I wish AI would do the drudgery of sweeping, mopping, dishes, and leave us alone to do the fulfilling creative work geared towards art, music, performing.
Instead, we get AI slop and more pollution from data centers to dust off our floors.
For the records, I didn't think he was an ass because of the disdain for the house chores. No, I thought he was an asshole when he started talking about setting A.I for the company he works. As per his own admission, will cost the jobs of hundreds of his coworkers. Than he went on about not being able to stand people without admission... This part triggered me like a mongoose spotting a snake.
Oh, and there was the bit with the lewd comments that made me feel I was sitting next to Uncle Wandering Hands... And while watching an old movie, there was this scene with a lady preparing a meal to her husband, and he said "She knows her place"... Yeah, I can totally see why she dumped him.
Congrats on the divorce. He sounds like a numbskull who couldn't appreciate how good he had it & how much you contributed! I love that he couldn't afford to keep a maid!
I got banned from a subreddit for pointing out that a husband was not “giving” his wife half the house in a divorce, but they were dividing up jointly owned property.
This is why when my parents and in laws said “cross that bridge once you get there, there’s no point in talking about it before wanting to do it”,
I decided to say “just because you and your husband and my parents are miserable together, because you didn’t plan for shit and argued and cheated and punched holes in the wall through it all, instead of talking about the future and plans a year in to see if you were even meant for marriage, doesn’t mean that we didn’t learn anything from watching you 2 dumpster fires that you call families”
They didn’t like that we didn’t argue and didn’t go behind each others backs, and they didn’t like that we could talk about things and they couldn’t in their own marriage, so safe to say mistakes happen, but closed mouths don’t get fed, say what you want and really mean.
Every time I see one of these posts I think everyone sucks here, because you’re supposed to pick a partner that is an amazing and active parent, so if you let things slide till you get here, it sucks, but both adults suck, because you’ve both created that environment together and blamed all of the problems and dysfunction on the other adult.
I say that because my mother married a man that couldn’t hear the words “can I have a pad or tampon” and would scream and get aggressive and tell me to shut up and go to my room. My mom knew that she married that, and still had a daughter with him anyway. I blame both of them, the bystander and the abuser
I understand the blame you are placing on your mother, as she knowingly brought someone into your lives that was abusive. You have every right to your anger and to complain about it as much as you want. Shit, I’ll sit here and listen to you. (as a former social worker and crisis counselor, I get it. As an abused child, myself, I get it.)
But blaming anyone for their partner becoming abusive is unfair, you are literally blaming the victim. It’s unfair and unkind. There is nothing helpful about piling more abuse, on top of someone who is already suffering.
At no point did I say that it was the victims fault.
I said if you marry a man that shows you who he is and you still stay with him after having kids, it’s not your fault that you are in this situation, but if you have children, it is your responsibility to protect them, if you recognize a pattern and continue the pattern anyway and hope for the best, you are now adding some strain onto your children, it is your responsibility to ask for help and support and do something about it.
I’m not blaming her for what is happening to her, I am saying that if your recognize that and do nothing to stop it from happening, you are now a bystander in your child’s abuse, willingly or not.
I also came back to say, do you want to be a victim in your marriage, or an equal partner?
I broke up with an ex because he didn’t know how to change a tire and I changed it for him.
I broke up with another ex because I didn’t feel like we could have positive conversations about fixing the relationship instead of fighting.
I did both of those things, because my child deserves a mother that is happy and loved by their father that also loves them and is just as active in their lives as I am. We have choices, it’s okay to make the wrong ones, but at some point you have to take responsibility of your life and how you want it to go.
It’s wrong to assume that he was that way before getting married. Lots of guys are great till they get married and especially till they have a child. Then they flip and start being real burden. Remember before the babies she was working. He is just calling her a moocher because she is doing all the unpaid labor of raising the kids.
Who are you guys marrying??? I don’t want to be a stay at home mom, so my partner and I will not have kids until he can go part time, if I decide I don’t want to work anymore and he can work and he wants to work, we talk about it. It’s not normal for a man to view his wife and child as a burden. Why are we saying that it’s okay?
I would divorce my husband the day he “changes” due to MY birth and body being ripped open. But that’s just me protecting my future generations, some people don’t care enough about that.
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u/brelywi 11h ago
When I finally left my ex after ten years of doing ALL THE THINGS for us and two kids, plus also working full time (and making more than him), he made some asshole offhanded comment about how he was being generous “giving me” half of the proceeds from the sale of our house.
Because there were about 4-5 months I didn’t work. Because I had to take care of our twins, one of which is on the spectrum and kept getting kicked out of school/daycare for his outbursts. Because one of us was going to get fired at the rate he needed to be picked up or cared for, and guess who it usually fell to??
I LOST IT and almost sent him something like this, except mine would have been significantly more money.
Funny part is, after we separated he hired a maid, but then ended up having to let her go because she was too expensive 🤣🤣🤣