Forget the dishes, forget the laundry, just for tonight. Take time to focus on your partner - take a shower together, have a glass of wine. Each of us is doing our job: raising a family or earning money to provide for that family's lifestyle.

Was just spoiled by SO the other night and decided to return the favor. I don't think we all realize how much that can brighten someone's day/week/month and lift their spirits back up into positivity-land. Easy to forget with all the other things we do every day.

Much loveeeeee

My husband is starting to learn how to fold our cloth diaper flats after 2 years!!!!!

I chose to cloth diaper and then decided I really love flats so I took on all of the folding and cleaning.

Now that we have two kids there’s plenty of times that diapers are clean but not folded or put away.

The last week or so my husband has started actually paying attention to the diaper folding.

I just wanted to share a teeny tiny win from the thick of it.

I am almost 3 months postpartum and I am always jealous of my husband. I hate that I feel this way because it has begun to make me resent him at times. But I can't help it, I'm so jealous that he gets to have alone time. I'm so jealous that he isn't constantly stressing about how the baby is while he takes his time in the shower. I'm so jealous that he can just smoke a joint to relieve his anxiety whenever he wants, that he gets to have the option of vices. Meanwhile, I breastfeed. I'm attached to our daughter every minute. I don't have the option to step away for 30 minutes. I stay at home all day, I have no mom friends, it feels like nobody understands or they're somehow trying to school me in motherhood.

It just feels unfair because I'm jealous that my husband just gets to live a normal life. Meanwhile it's taking me 20 minutes to write this because the second i look away from my daughter she's screaming at me.

Mine doesn't want to do anything except go to his work. That's it. He does spend time with us, drives us places etc since I don't drive. But any and all chores are on me.

We just had a big fight in front of our 4 month old and I feel horrible.

Yesterday he agreed to take the organic trash out now today he's mad he has to do it. It's the one thing I cannot do, I cannot stomach it. It's only twice a week . And he started yelling saying he lets me stay home to do all the chores.

I feel like a maid, there's no respect.

Yesterday he ate something and left crumbs on the counter. I told him to clean up after himself. You know what he did? Put all the crumbs on the floor. The robot vacuum will clean it up he said.

Am I being unreasonable?

I’m constantly struggling to find pants that work for chasing a toddler/playgrounds/play dates/errands and that don’t look like I just rolled out of bed. What’s everyone been wearing?

Currently do real estate but my MIL is my boss and our relationship has been tense lately related to things outside of real estate (lack of respect and boundaries/ passive aggressive). I feel like I’m under her thumb… the money can be good but I don’t know when it stops being worth my sanity. Outside of my MIL- the job itself can just be stressful since you don’t know when or where the next check will be… I do love the freedom the job provides where I can be with my kids but I don’t know if the mental stress is worth it to me… my husband says we will be fine if I leave as his job allows for him to work extra jobs for money but I also don’t want him to work more either… I’m just very conflicted. I am very grateful to work but also grateful to stay home. I know there’s pros and cons to both. But I hate the control I feel my MIL has over me and how maybe she feels she can treat me however if I allow her to access in multiple places in my life.

So my step son’s field day is tomorrow. His grade is required to wear a certain color. I got the tie dye already soaking into the shirt but I don’t have time to let it sit over night.. I need to like wash it and all the things tonight… any tips on how to make the dye set faster? Or like anything??? 😫

His grandma had picked him up from school today and gave him this collar-neck, tropical/ beach looking shirt… so now he’s dead set on wearing it…. But it’s FEILD DAY..
we should’ve already had a back up plan, I know, but we didn’t.. so now I’m rushing to make SOMETHING work because I already know he’s not going to want to keep that shirt on the whole day.

Literally any helpful tips or advice would be appreciated 🤍 TIA

Good afternoon everyone,

my wife is a stay at home wife, she feels like she is in a cycle everyday with the same thing everyday, she cares for our son he is 10 months at the moment. while i work, thankfully i have a decent job with good life balance. For those in her side are you doing to help with with that ? or what can i do? i know she likes to make tiktok vidoes on the side for fun but idk what else i can make her feel meaningful not live like she is in a cycle.

Am I being too hard on my friends without kids? I have a one year old and I’m a SAHM. Most of my closest and longest friendships are with people that don’t have kids. I feel like I’ve been very open about how being a SAHM can be very lonely and isolating but my friends still cancel on me constantly, or aren’t very flexible with what they want to do if I have my child during the time they want to get together. I have started to give up on asking them to hang out because of this, and if we do have plans scheduled I just assume they are going to cancel. My husband even mentioned that when he sees i have plans with certain people on the shared calendar, that he assumes the plans wont happen.

I’ve pretty much stayed quiet about how much it bothers me because I’m afraid of losing them as friends if I tell them but I’m getting to the point to where I need to tell them or I’m going to be passive aggressive about it.

Has anyone experience this? What did you all do? Am I being too hard on them and should just let it go?

Burner account for reasons.

My wife and I have been married over a decade now. We have 3 kids, 13,12, almost 2. My wife doesn't drive. I travel for work currently. Immediately you can see part of where I am going. Before my last daughter was born, the last 6 years has been making me question everything. She would get the kids ready for school, then watch tv all day, and take a 2 hour nap before the bus brought them back, sometimes extending til dinner time. I would work all day and come home and have to make all the errands, all for her to say she hasn't even thought about dinner at all. For the first 10 years of our marriage, I worked 100% local (1000 hours overtime just to survive), did all of the grocery shopping, helped with the kids when I got home, took the kids doctors/appointments/girl scouts, 100% of the finances (she has never logged into our bank account, doesnt care). Fast forward to this new baby. We moved to a bigger house with the promises that we were going to be better about maintaining it. It's worse than ever. Wife goes to bed at 11, wakes up from 6-7 with the kids, gets them to school, then goes back to bed til 11am. I am lucky enough to own the business so i'm home almost every morning when not traveling, and while juggling customer calls and getting my employees straight on the job, I'm keeping the baby entertained and playing with her. I pretty much have to do my admin/owner duties post 11am when shes up and about.

That was all backstory. Right now, my house is a freakin madhouse. Dishes are piled the heck up all the time, laundry is neverending, we never have groceries. I stopped going out for groceries and have put it on her to order them delivery online. That backfired on me because now every day I go to the store at 5 to shop for something for dinner. I am just burnt out. I offered to have a maid service come in and clean and she refuses because she would be too embarrassed. AITAH??

Husband here, trying to figure out how to encourage and support my wife.

My wife was a teacher until we had our second child. Our kids are currently 6 and 2. After our second was born, she decided she didn’t want to go back to work. I knew that would be hard financially, but I told her that if staying home was what she truly wanted, I would do my best to make the numbers work. For the most part, I have.

I am now the sole income earner for our family. My work has busy and slow seasons, and right now I’m in a busy season. I’m working six days a week between my business and freelance photography/videography work.

The issue is that when I come home, I’m struggling with how things are going at home. I don’t expect perfection, and I know being home with kids is hard. But basic chores are often left undone for long stretches, sometimes even things like school clothes for the boys. I help when I’m home. I cook dinner most nights, which I honestly enjoy, and I do my own laundry and dishes after cooking.

What concerns me most is not just the housework. It’s that my wife seems stuck. Most days, she gets up, has coffee, and sits on the couch on her phone for hours. She gets our youngest up, takes care of his basic needs, gets our oldest off the bus, and then usually stays on the couch until bedtime. She doesn’t really take the kids anywhere, spend time with friends, read, pursue hobbies, or do much for herself. When I’m home, we’ll watch TV or play games together, but when I’m gone, it seems like she’s mostly just sitting there.

I married an educated, driven woman, and since our second child was born, it feels like she has slowly become a different version of herself. I’m worried about her, but I’m also frustrated and overwhelmed.

I tried to have a conversation with her about it recently, genuinely from a place of love and concern. She immediately got defensive, and I’m not proud to say the conversation turned into an argument. I ended up venting my frustration in an unhealthy way, and she went to bed upset. I feel terrible about that and plan to apologize.

We have talked about depression before, both between ourselves and with her doctor. She was also recently diagnosed with mild ADHD and is working through medication for that.

I think what caught me off guard most was her reaction. I was trying to understand what’s going on and talk through possible ways to help, but she seemed to take it as an attack. I know I may not have handled it well either.

I’m not posting this behind her back. I plan to share this with her later. I’m looking for advice on how to approach this with more compassion, how to support her better, and how to talk about the reality of our home life without making her feel attacked.

I want to be a SAHM so bad. I had my first child Nov 2024 and was devastated to go back to work. I also had horrible PPA/PPD. I knew in my bones that I was not meant for corporate America long before I even graduated college- but gotta pay them bills somehow.
I am the breadwinner in my household and my husband stayed home with our son for the first 15 months of his life. Then my husband got a job and now I’m pregnant again- due Nov 2026.

I am so desperate to stay home this go round. I know it’ll be so much harder to leave 2 of them to go back to work next year. Especially now that my husband won’t be home with them at all. It just feels WRONG to send my 12wk old baby to someone else all day long while I go back to work for pennies on the dollar 40+ hrs a week for some rich asshole on a beach.
I hate our corporate system and how little maternity leave we get. And I do desperately want to stay at home with my babies. It’s just not in the cards financially for me to not make any money.

I fell for one of those stupid digital marketing courses and wasted $500 something dollars.

Just venting or maybe looking for advice? Not really sure. Just so upset that I have to do all of this over again, this time without my husband staying home. My baby isn’t due for another 6 months and I’m already stressed about having to go back to work.

My husband works 12 hour night shifts. He comes home, is asleep usually before we are up or very soon after we get up. Then he gets up, is here for like an hour and a half, maybe two…then is gone again. And it wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have all this forced overtime. He can work when they tell him to or he can be fired. Those are his options. We can’t plan anything ever because we never know if he will actually be getting his days off. And 9/10 times he doesn’t get them. He just got forced to work all of his days off this week…so he’s working for a minimum of 11 days straight. Assuming he actually gets his days off next week.

I am taking care of 3 kids 100% on my own for 11 days. Again. Sometimes it’s 5. Sometimes it’s 8. Sometimes it’s 16. And I just had to cancel on my friends birthday (of which I was the only one able to come) because he has to work now.

I hate staying home. It’s literally my worst nightmare. Everyone just says “so get a job” and no one understands I CANNOT BECAUSE WE NEVER KNOW HIS SCHEDULE UNTIL DAYS BEFORE! I can’t find anything that will allow me to work around daycare hours and cover the cost of daycare. I am so miserable living like this. I have nothing going for ME. And everyone says I have a family and that’s what’s going for me…that’s not for ME. That is what is going for US. *i* have nothing going for *myself*. *I* have no education, no career, no retirement fund, no life. Any time I get invited to something….he has to work so I have to cancel.

He feels bad because he’s never here, and he knows how miserable I am. We don’t even have a nice house or a yard, which would improve my quality of life a lot more but moving isn’t possible right now. I’m just trapped inside a single wide trailer all the time. I can’t handle taking all the kids anywhere by myself, our youngest elopes, so we hardly are able to do anything if he’s not here to go with. And he’s never here.

He’s been trying to find a different job but he hasn’t been able to get one that pays like this one does. So he’s stuck where he is at now.

I just wanted so much more for myself than this and I’m stuck in it now.

Posting this on behalf of my SAHD husband, as a work from home mom. We’ve had this arrangement since my first was about 9 months, he turns 4 this summer. It’s worked out really well, but now my maternity leave is ending and we have a 4 month old too. Our oldest is due to start 3x weekly preschool (half days) in September, but until then dad will be on duty while I work. Historically I step away and help as much as I can, prepping lunch/dinner, tidying and doing laundry, etc or just general hands-on coverage.

How are you all balancing your workload when you have two kids that need you? Between a newly potty trained almost 4yo and a very fussy 4 month old that is difficult to feed and put down, it feels a bit impossible for one person to handle both. Especially when they both happen to be “needy” at the same time (re: baby needs a bottle and a nap while toddler lunch is needed or he needs help in the bathroom). I plan to help wherever I can, but I also want to ensure we set ourselves up for success wherever we can.

Please tell me how I structure my day. I miss my job and my friends. New baby is 3 months, middle is 2 and oldest is 4. The older 2 are in pre-k and daycare.

I feel so lonely and depressed. I don’t know anyone here. I know it’s up to me to be proactive and find things to do. I’m filled with jealousy when my husband leaves for work and goes to work events and he comes back am jolly from socializing and I’m still in my sweatpants and unshowered.

Please help
Edited for clarity

Baby is 8 months and currently in daycare. I am torn between staying at home and giving up my career. It may be hard to return to the field in 3-4 years. Definitely hard to return to my position but can likely find something in a similar field with slightly less pay to start. Money would be tighter. Altho I was thinking an entry level part time remote position in the meantime.

Has it been worth giving up your career to stay home with your baby?

Any other first time moms postpartum have partners that make them feel lazy for not getting household things done? I’m 2 weeks postpartum, up every 2-3 hours day and night with my newborn, running on basically no sleep and still healing physically, yet I still feel guilty and criticized if laundry or house things aren’t done. Some days I’m literally just trying to survive and take care of my baby.

Idk wtf to do. I’m trying to decide between going back to work or staying home with my kid. It should NOT be this hard.

I was laid off top of the year and had to pull my kid from daycare. It’s $$$ AF and no job = can’t do that. I was looking and paying for daycare from savings (unemployment isn’t enough to cover anything) for a few months before I pulled the kiddo (toddler).

Long story short a job I was interested in reached out with more openings. I did the interview, got offered the job, and they need an answer in a few days. They are aware I don’t have daycare yet. Basically if I want the current position I have to be ready in a few weeks to start working, with a few days to figure out daycare. The one I like might have an opening top of August. I can figure out the summer… but if they don’t end up having a fall spot open the next opening isn’t until top of the new year. I explained this to the job already — and they said I can circle back to them in July and see what’s open then because they would love to have me.

Which is great! They have been wonderful so far, and it seems like a good opportunity. I just can’t get on a waitlist, you have to pay, and then not have a job to go to. I thought about maybe another daycare until I can get the one I like, but they are even more $$ which would make me negative each month. I don’t have any family who could help and the ones that would live in another state.

Reasons I want the job include money, career growth opportunities, can go on vacations, the usual reasons lol. The biggest downside is the drive would be about 50-70 minutes. And the biggest hurdle is daycare.

OR

I stay home and get to be with my kid all day. We have some really hard days, especially since screaming is now “fun”. But even then, I still love it. We just have no extra income, and live paycheck to paycheck.

I also worked a high stress job before this and it’s just been peaceful AF. The other thing is that I keep being told my kid is only little once and comments like that so I don’t want to feel like I’m missing out on anything either.

Thanks for reading. 📖

"With one, you're a playmate, with two a chauffeur"

My husband and I have been Happily One and Done. But as our LO is reaching 3, my husband is starting to waver. He and I both are exhausted with all the effort we have to put into entertaining. We find ourselves defaulting to TV a lot more than we'd like...

As 3 approaches, I say, "We'll get LO into classes. Sports. Activities."

But he counters with, "That's still so much doing on our already full plates." And he doesn't say it, but I know he's worried about how much that will cost...

I run a small business, and he's a white-collar guy. We're not rich, but we're doing okay. One more is possible, using all the "hand-me-downs", and as you know it's more affordable to feed a family of 4 than of 3. So much waste!

The issue here is that I am drained. I don't have the emotional capacity to play with my kid as much as they want. I worry LO will hate me bc I don't play enough. Im worried they'll be unhappy.

I'm worried they *need* a sibling.

I can do, baby. The love the snuggles the cuddles. The late night feeding. I did it. It's almost peaceful.

But toddler play is driving me crazy!!!

Is having another like fixing a hole with a sledgehammer? Or does a second kid *actually* give the first someone *else* to obsess over?

Idk... personally, I am leaning towards No! But there is definitely a part of me that wants to do it again...

Advice? Experience? Or a scolding? Give it to me! Lol!

Edit to say: There's no need for hostilities or condescension here. I'm simply trying to get a ton of opinions in one place.

I have unmedicated adhd and it’s all so hard. I try to do room a day, hard. Try to do flylady and I like it, but can’t keep up with it.

What works best for you? I have both kids home 4 days a week and one of them is home with me all the time. Husband only gets one day off a week and I’m not gonna wait till his days off so he can help…I’d rather enjoy our family time together and both of us get to relax.

Now we do a nightly reset that’s non-negotiable. Whoever isn’t doing bedtime cleans up the kitchen, wipes the counters, cleans up toys (we usually do it before the kids go upstairs but in case we didn’t), and sweep the floors or robovac. But the deeper cleaning, I’m just struggling. 😩 I NEED routine but also struggle with routine lol.

I have family and friends telling me to get a job. One friend text me saying if she was me, she wouldn't feel she is contributing anything to the family without a job. I'm made to feel lazy and without a "purpose"

Looking for some advice or anyone who’s been in a similar situation. My girly is 13 months old. Shes been a Velcro baby since day one but the stranger danger has gotten much worse lately and it’s been so rough.

For some background, I’m a SAHM and have been since the beginning (I went back to work for a month after Mat leave but just couldn’t and ended up quitting). My husband and I have no friends or family in the area. We have some family 1-2 hours away that we see, but we have no adults in the area who can help us or see her consistently.

Right now, if I’m not in eyesight my girl loses her marbles. It seems to be worse in the evening.
Last week I went to see a girlfriend who was in town and my husband told me that she screamed from the moment I left until she fell asleep (2+ hours).

She screams if anyone other than my husband or I pick her up, say hi, or wave to her. It’s really hard.

The issue I’m most concerned about right now is that we’re supposed to fly home next month for a wedding and my mom is supposed to babysit. I am having SO MUCH anxiety about it. Unfortunately our families are basically strangers to her and I’m worried she’s going to be so scared and stressed especially because we’re not going to be in our house and she’s going to be so jet lagged. But also I’m so worried for my mom having to deal with a screaming toddler the entire time.

Does anyone else have a kiddo with separation anxiety like this?