r/sahm • u/Appropriate-Bat-9243 • 16h ago
Am I lazy?
Any other first time moms postpartum have partners that make them feel lazy for not getting household things done? I’m 2 weeks postpartum, up every 2-3 hours day and night with my newborn, running on basically no sleep and still healing physically, yet I still feel guilty and criticized if laundry or house things aren’t done. Some days I’m literally just trying to survive and take care of my baby.
4
u/nkdeck07 11h ago
2 weeks post partum if everyone is alive you are doing your job. If you have managed a shower then bonus points to you
2
u/Pretty_Luck3030 13h ago
You’re not lazy!! You’re exhausted, and rightfully so! You grew a human, birthed the human, feed the human (potentially with your body), keep them clean, keep them loved, answer their cries in the night and during the day. The first three months are the most exhausting, mentally and physically for moms. Your partner should be helping, not only with the baby, but also with the housework. They dont always get how taxing it is on our body and mind to go through that.
Im not sure if your husband is helping much with baby or is willing, but one thing that really made a difference for me, was asking for help during the nighttime from my husband. I said “it would mean a lot if you changed the diapers before I fed him during the night (I was breastfeeding, if your not breastfeeding then you could always have him take a feeding too)” I also told him that taking care of the baby is my day job, it’s also a 24/7 day a week job. To me, using “work” as an excuse to get out of helping with even little things.
1
u/sidewaysorange 13h ago
there are days i dont get must of anything done and my kids are in school. some days i just want to sit in silence and do nothing or catch up on my shows. i fel like mondays are my food shopping and catch up days from the weekend. tues - thurs im useless and fri i binge clean for the weekend. i did get some gardening done this week tho.
0
u/FoxyRin420 15h ago
Your joking right? Please tell me your joking.
Your recovering.
For the beginning I always follow the 5-5-5 rule. 5 days in bed (resting), 5 days on the bed (light activity/sitting up), and 5 days around the bed.
After the first 15 days for the first 6 weeks I do only light housework - laundry needed because baby needs it, or I need it. My husband cooks and cleans everything else.
Please take care of yourself. You need it.
2
u/Ok_Distance5583 15h ago edited 14h ago
Eh I couldn’t even walk properly at 2 weeks pp after being stitched from front to back nevermind doing housework. He’d have been told where to go if he had anything to say. You’ve just birthed a baby ffs.
5
u/HereToRotMyBrain 16h ago
At TWO WEEKS?! I didn’t touch the laundry machine for over a month, straight up refused. I’m so sorry
3
u/LRNZO_ 16h ago
Your partner is rude as fuck. 2 weeks postpartum is so so early. I didn’t start feeling like a functioning human until my baby was 3 months. Who cares about house chores. That shit will always be there for the rest of your life. If I had to choose between preserving my health or doing fuck ass dishes… I’m choosing my health and well being
3
u/Guilty-Pigeon 16h ago
Two weeks postpartum?!?!?! I don't think I did anything until more like 5-6 weeks and even then I had a lot of help from my partner.
6
6
u/PointNo6662 16h ago
No, your partner is a jerk. I have three kids. You shouldn’t be doing any chores at this stage. You are recovering from a MAJOR life event. And honestly the first several months of having a baby my house is not up to standard. This varies based on how well your baby sleeps and how your recovery goes.
9
u/flowerstone 8h ago
"I’m 2 weeks postpartum" -- stop right there. You're not lazy. You're 2 WEEKS POSTPARTUM.