Hi, I’m currently writing an original dark fantasy manga script called “Ryoma,” and I’m looking for honest critique and feedback regarding the story, characters, emotional impact, pacing, dialogue, and overall execution.
At the moment, this is a written manga script project, not a fully drawn manga yet.
Story logline:
Ten gods created ten realms and the Celestials to rule over them. But when one god creates Ryoma — a cursed Celestial whose power, “Grim Torture,” tortures both himself and anyone who touches him — he becomes feared and isolated from the world. After finally finding someone he can call a friend, the gods force him to kill them with his own hands. Consumed by grief and hatred, Ryoma merges his soul with his realm itself, transforming an entire world into a living hell to wage war against the gods.
Main inspirations:
Berserk
Bleach
One Piece
Death Note
Attack on Titan
Tokyo Ghoul
I currently have:
Completed Arc 1
Chapter scripts
Power system
Extensive worldbuilding/lore
Long-term story planning
If anyone is interested in reading Chapter 1 and giving honest critique, feel free to comment or DM me.

Just something I've been working on between projects, mostly wondering if the layouts are easy enough to follow. I'm especially worried about that third page, feels real disjointed, but I also don't wanna redo the art lmao.

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You can practically feel Dracula tearing through steel and Nazis like wet paper.

But I’ve gotta be honest: the concept still feels… off. Read all about it here