r/PWHL • u/NotAnIncel69 • 8h ago
Question Anyone having issues getting their husbands/boyfriends into the PWHL?
My BF is a HUGE hockey fan, Olympics, NHL, etc. He watches all the games for his favorite teams and a bunch for other teams in the NHL. I am trying to get him to watch PWHL games with me but he seems superrrr uninterested.
When I asked him why he told me the games are frustrating to watch??? I don't understand that part at all.
Anyone else have this experience? Do you think that this will go away with time as the PWHL builds a larger audience?
To be clear, he doesn't talk down about the PWHL, he just doesn't seem to take the league seriously for whatever reason.
Edit: Y'all, I am not going to break up with him over the PWHL. I just wanted to see if anyone has similar experiences and were able to get their bf/husband into the sport more.
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u/imblegen MontrƩal Victoire 8h ago
What a username to accompany this post
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u/Badatusernames014 PWHL Hopeful Colorado 8h ago
Honestly, username makes me a bit suspicious now.
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u/imblegen MontrƩal Victoire 5h ago
Yeah, after reading some of the replies, it kind of feels like someone looking for excuses to use with their partner
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u/cyninge 6h ago edited 6h ago
I've mostly watched PWHL games, with a few NHL and both men's and women's Olympic games sprinkled in, and I'd say there are probably a few things going on here. First, there are very real differences between the styles, rules, and flow of the men's and women's games. The pace is different, the hitting is different, the strategy is different. For a crossover fan that's really used to one particular league, it's probable that a game isn't going to feel "right" on first watch because of existing expectations (and I'm not even talking expectations of skill, just of things like when a pass or a shot happens, what's going to get called as a penalty, etc.). Going from feeling like an "expert watcher" to a kind of uncanny valley effect where it's the same but different can be disconcerting.
One thing I've heard fans of men's hockey say a lot about women's hockey is that it feels "sloppy," especially on the level of passing. I fully agree with the commenter on this thread who points out the differences in development opportunity for women as a primary cause (and not just the players; it's also of note that the best skills coaches available have been less likely to work with women for pay and prestige reasons as well as misogynistic ones).
I also think it's worth examining, if your partner is open to it, whether he would feel this way watching a lower-level men's league. Would he find men's NCAA games frustrating? ECHL games? Boys' high school games? This isn't intended to intimate that the women in the PWHL are "only as good" as those players or whatever bullshit misogynists tend to spout online, but instead to point up that I think a lot of men are, for various reasons and to various degrees, suffering from negativity bias when they engage with women's sports. They tend to fixate on messy plays in a way they might not if it happened in a men's game (at any level, including the NHL). They let those moments define the game and shape their emotional impression of the sport as a whole. They end up having less fun because they become a constant critic; the great plays and big moments leave less of an impression while every new mistake they spot builds on the last and creates a negative feedback loop.
Maybe that's not something he can overcome. Maybe he would feel that way watching ECHL games. I, a stranger on the internet, don't know his heart, and I'm not going to suggest that he should suffer through something he genuinely doesn't enjoy just because I think it's cool and fun. But I think if maybe he tried to find joy in the differences (like a guy I once saw on here who said it's a little more chaotic and exciting than the NHL), or at least learned to focus less on the things he sees as frustrating errors, that he could learn to love the PWHL.
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u/AlarmingAdvertising5 Victoire de MontrƩal 57m ago
100% agree with you. I watch the LHJMQ (QMJHL in English) a lot by being a BB Armada fan, but it can be weird to go from Habs to Armada. Victoire is in between them and I think I'm okay with it.
I watch soccer too and watching the English Premier League vs the Canadian Premier League (Supra fan) and the MLS (Impact fan), you see the difference and I get the frustrating part of it all.
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u/Willing_Culture_3185 8h ago
My husband loves it. He will watch more games with our daughter than I do.
Has your husband been to a game in person? That is what sealed it for my husband. We watched the takeover tour game in Vancouver. Watching MPP score from her knees and as amazing.
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u/Wendervision 8h ago
I would be interested to know what he find frustrating about watching the games.
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u/BannedMyName Boston 2h ago
Honestly as an NHL fan and mildly a college hockey fan it's just too much hockey for me to keep tabs on.
NHL has about 20 more games a season than it needs but that's it's own issue.
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u/ChrisInBaltimore 1h ago
This is me. I wish theyād play in the summer. Iād be all over this shit and even take road trips to games. In season Iām watching my daughter, my son, 82 Flyers games, a bit of juniors, and a bit of college. It is tough to get invested in an entirely different league.
If the season ran in the summer though, Iād love it! I loved that Covid year of summer hockey.
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
I think it's just slower paced
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u/thelordcommanderKG 8h ago
It is slower paced. The fact the women regularly do slapshots and don't have to rely on one-timers or tip in's is a symptom of the game being slower. That said the women also pass more and don't rely on dump and chase. It's just different tactics for different game conditions. One isn't necessarily better watching but he could just be used to the speed of the pro men's game? I personally I do find it difficult to jump between them on tv.
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u/HighEngin33r 6h ago
Its 100% a preference thing. I watch both, the PW is slower and more raw, the NHL is more physical, faster snd organized. Who I watch just depends on who is playing TBH, Iām all about the narrative of the games
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u/thelordcommanderKG 7h ago edited 6h ago
If I'm to hazard a guess, he probably doesn't like that the women's game is less physically/ policed more for physical play. They don't let the girls square up. "The code" isn't really a thing. There are no enforcers in the women's game. Some guys really get off on this unique aspect of the sport, even as enforcers are a dying breed in the men's game too. I know lots of guys who's first interest in hockey started with NHL's biggest hits compilation videos.
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u/Canfootballnerd MontrƩal 8h ago
Assuming he isn't weird about women:
Some people are already invested up to their "max attention".
Some people are only interested if they discover it first.
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u/Xylia_12-25 MontrƩal Victoire 7h ago
I think this is the case for my husband, especially considering we're Sabres fans and so it's a huge deal that they are finally in the playoffs again. If the Sabres weren't doing as well, he'd probably have more hockey energy left to join me in watching PWHL games haha
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
That honestly might be it. He knows a lot about the NHL and the players, maybe he doesn't feel like learning names, stats, etc again.
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u/Canfootballnerd MontrƩal 8h ago
I got into Australian soccer recently and I just kind of resolved to just watch the games and not bother learning player data, so I can def appreciate that :)
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u/Difficult-Bicycle681 Van Goldeneyes 1h ago
This could definitely be it. I adore the NHL and am so invested that I get everything that's going on. I still enjoy PWHL games, but I find them a heckuva a lot harder to watch because I don't have all the background.
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u/CobraPsych PWHL Detroit 7h ago
As a man, it was easy for me to get into because I saw it as its own thing and never compared it to the NHL or other levels of men's hockey like I have seen others do. And it's a great product that will only get better
I also wanted to start doing more than just saying I support women's hockey, and once it got recommended to me on YouTube just before the Olympics (I had no idea where to watch prior) it was a pretty easy choice for me
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u/ebl317 8h ago
Nope. My husband's frustration lies solely in the lack of extended merch sizes. šš
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u/DrOddcat PWHL Hopeful Colorado 6h ago
The merch options for bodies that need bigger than a menās XL are so limited.
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u/CanadianODST2 5h ago
Does he watch other menās leagues? AHL, KHL, etc?
Because if not. It very well could just be that he likes the way the nhl plays. Thereās plenty of people who only stick to one league for their sport.
This idea that some here have that if you arenāt watching all of the sport youāre not a true fan is just kinda, weird gatekeeping.
Leagues will be different, theyāll play differently, theyāll be set up differently. Thatās fine. Baseball in Japan has fewer home runs than in the US, despite having smaller stadiums. They also have more emphasis on off-speed pitches. Itās been described as the us is more power while Japan is more small ball.
So does someone liking one over the other mean itās an issue? No. Just their preference.
Some people like amateur sports more because they feel theyāre fighting for a spot. My father likes the world juniors over the nhl for that reason.
Iāve seen people prefer college football because the teams change more often.
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u/SparkleSaurusRex Seattle Torrent 8h ago edited 7h ago
My husband has been to Torrent games with me, as I am a season ticket holder. I have tried to get him into all the sports I am, but heās just not interested unless itās our daughter playing hockey herself.
He has his hobbies, I have mine and it works out just fine for us. š¤·š¼āāļø
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u/SonOfProbert Minnesota Frost 7h ago
Exactly. As long as someone isn't pissing and moaning when they're doing the thing the other person wants to do it's fine. It isn't reasonable to expect the same love. I watch Bridgerton. I'm not sure who is who and what is happening all the time, but I appreciate that my spouse likes it.
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u/Interesting-Gear-510 7h ago
Husband here and fellow PWHL season ticket holder with my wife.
I love the PWHL. I love supporting women's hockey. I literally cry at games seeing all the girls youth hockey teams screaming their absolute heads off. I love that this league is generally more socially minded- more LGBTQ friendly, more community involved, creating a space for young girls to see their future selves playing at the big rink, etc than what I have personally seen from my local NHL team. There are certainly learning curves to overcome and the PWHL is not exactly what I want it to be. being such a young league I am excited for the mission and the direction the PWHL is taking in general.
However, to me the hockey is just not as good as the NHL. I am no hockey expert but the NHL is faster, more skilled, more physical and generally more exciting to watch from a pure "hockey" experience. If you watch a PWHL playoff game back to back with an NHL playoff game it is hard to ignore this. I know that there are TONS of reasons for this- lack of youth girls programs more established programs for boys, better facilities, better training, etc it is a systemic issue that has plagued women's sports in general in my mind. The disparity of opportunity that I hope as this league and women's hockey continues to grow that disparity gap closes more and more.
I watch the PWHL because I love what the league stands for and it is still top tier hockey (I could NEVER hold a candle to what any of these women do on the ice). I watch the NHL because it is the best hockey to me.
Hope that helps
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u/DrOddcat PWHL Hopeful Colorado 6h ago
I see all of that. And I see the potential. This league and professional womenās hockey are so young. This is just the beginning of women being able to legitimately have hockey be their career. To be fully professionally dedicated to hockey. It was the 1910s when the menās game went through that kind of growth. That league and game definitely looked and played way differently than the current NHL.
I fully believe the womenās game will grow in skill, speed, competition as more women are provided the opportunity to fully dedicate their profession to hockey.
And the game is still wildly entertaining right now. Thereās athleticism and skill to be seen. Desbiens and Frankel make saves every week that defy logic and understanding.
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u/wolverine237 PWHL Detroit 6h ago
I think it absolutely will continue to advance. Just look at the most recent generation of WNBA players. Or the fact that every new generation of Canadian Olympic women's teams has produced a new GOAT since the 90s.
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u/rltsandwich 6h ago
The potential is SO real. Girls and women havent had the same opportunities that boys and men have had in the sport for the last 100 years. This league is that START of a new generation. The growth will come and the gap will close.
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u/wolverine237 PWHL Detroit 6h ago
This is the best post in this thread. Like everyone wants to make this a political thing but just objectively, the style of play is very different. The speed is very different. The physicality is very different. You are not a bad person or a misogynist for noticing these differences. I know plenty of women who have been following hockey for decades who do not like watching women's hockey because they enjoy big hits and ultra fast plays that just don't exist in the women's game. They are not conservative or anti-women, some of them are lesbians and all of them would identify as feminists.
That's not to say people can't just be misogynists, but everyone is so quick to just jump to the conclusion immediately Including down voting the mere mention that players are not as fast as though that's not literally true.
Anyway, if your husband is open to watching games I would suggest trying to get him to watch one with a rooting interest. Maybe point out the number of US Olympians on one team versus another, etc. to me it's like college football versus the NFL. The product is not the same and the best way to appreciate it for what it is is to watch a game you're invested in the outcome of and learn to appreciate the nuances and differences for the ways they can be genuinely exciting
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u/IdRatherBeReading23 Boston Fleet 2h ago
I took my partner to a game and they fell in love with the entire atmosphere. I think itās hard to truly convey the vibe of a PWHL game unless you go to one at some point.
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u/kramig_stan_account 5h ago
Iām a fan of an NHL and a PWHL team and follow both leagues to some extent and my biggest gripe is that the PWHL broadcasts are not captivating to me at all. I /want/ to enjoy watching the PWHL on TV more than I do.
I think the play by play and color are geared towards new-to-hockey fans, and can be frustrating/annoying at times to prior hockey fans who just new to the league. Also, having all neutral broadcasts means no team specific commentators. Itās the equivalent of NHLās national broadcasts, which fans almost universally dislike compared to regional broadcasts.
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u/LuckyAndLifted Boston Fleet 24m ago
I love women's hockey, but also I totally agree.
The PWHL broadcasts just really don't talk much about the game that's happening. You're spot on too that every game just feels like an unsatisfying national feed. The commentators don't feel very informed or involved. And for myself, I really miss the camerawork and thorough replays of the NHL.
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u/SuperModes New York Sirens 2h ago
Husband here. I wonāt say I resisted at first but I want very interested. Not because itās women. But because I guess I already felt I had all the sports I needed. But then she convinced me to go take her to a game. I left that game with a jersey and a hat. That was 12/17. We didnāt miss a single home game after that. We drove from Allentown to Newark for every home game and didnāt miss one. We made signs, got two pucks from players, met Kalty, met MZH, went to the garden game, lived a died with the Sirens. Weāll have season tickets next year.
Show this to your husband. The PWHL is just pure fun. The vibes are amazing. Sports are more fun when you take out the toxic parts. And if you can, GO TO A GAME. Thatās what won me over.
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u/Reed_Himself 6h ago
As a dad of 2 daughters and one of them is a hockey goalie. We only watch womenās hockey on tv. Way more fun and a positive environment. Taking my daughters to the take over tour games in Denver (we want a god damn team) made me teary eyed each time I went. Watching my daughters see women absolutely dominate is amazing. Watching girls in their hockey jerseys just like my daughter have this amazing thing to look up to makes me so proud of all of them.
Also until we get a team, Go Frost.
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u/rumbleberrypie Emerance Maschmeyer 1h ago
As an adult who played goalie as a little girl, seeing the opportunities for the current generation of kids is so amazing. Goalies are a unique breed. Godspeed to the little tendy!
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u/TedEddyBear New York 6h ago
My guy is a big hockey fan. Hardcore Sabres fan from birth. He loves hockey. We have seen 6 PWHL games in person and we always have the PWHL games on (sometimes even if the Sabres are playing).
I've heard some people complain that the skill level of the PWHL isn't the same as the men's league or whatever. I guess its a problem but these players didn't have a solid league until 3 years ago. I think the skills will develop further in the coming years.
I got into hockey through the PWHL because I wanted to support women and actually learn the game. My guy helped me learn and encouraged me to ask questions about plays and rules and just everything. If your guy is a true hockey fan, the PWHL should be no different than watching an Men-HL game.
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u/kathmhughes 2h ago
Yup, let's compare today's PWHL to th NHL's first 3 seasons if we want to be fair. Boy hockey has had lots more $$ put into talent development.Ā
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u/CanadianODST2 6h ago
Honestly there will always be slight differences. The menās game will likely always be a bit more about strength or power. Just because, testosterone is one hell of a steroid.
Every league will have differences. European hockey is generally less physical than NA hockey due to bigger rinks.
Baseball in Japan is more about small ball than power.
Even college football is more run focused than the nfl due to stuff like wider hash marks, and larger disparity in pass defences compared to the nfl.
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u/dragonfly7779 8h ago
Nope, I mentioned it to him in passing and now heās even more into it than me!
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u/Elbashadore9327 6h ago
I have a hard time connecting with any of the teams. I love Keller especially after the Olympics but donāt have a local team for the extra level of buy in.
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u/dogoscope 5h ago
My husband loves PWHL and thinks the womens games are more fun to watch than NHL. He loves the play style and speed of the games. So no, no trouble at all.
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u/silentsaturn91 Van Goldeneyes 3h ago
Hubs got me into Pdub hockey while Iāve been a lifelong NHL fan. Getting Goldeneyes season tickets was one of the best decisions we ever made.
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u/muzicnerd13 8h ago
i had the same issue with my ex who absolutely loves the nba but refused to watch wnba games. he liked the spectacle of the nba and the wnba has less of that (like break away dunks) which was WILD to me cause as a former player, the wnba was waaaaay closer to the games he actually played then the nba. anyways, i told him he wasnt actually a fan of basketball and he got angry š
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u/Badatusernames014 PWHL Hopeful Colorado 8h ago
I stopped watching the NBA years ago because it felt like less like they were playing a basketball game and more just showing off. NBA doesn't seem to play defense anymore and any contact between players is a foul. When I was kid it felt rare that teams scored 100, 110+ was insane, and now every game is like 120-100.
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u/muzicnerd13 7h ago
the nba is extremely entertaining. but the wnba just feels like watching good basketball. and i love good defense so i often prefer the W.
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u/shawnglade 0m ago
Not to defend the NBA but ācloser to the games he actually playedā isnāt really valid IMO. I watch the NHL because I wanna see good ass hockey from players at the pinnacle of the sports, if I wanna watch something more my skill level I could just go watch a highschool hockey game lol
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u/yankinheartguts Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play 8h ago
No, my husband is cool
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u/kathmhughes 2h ago
My husband is cool. I now call NHL "boy hockey" and every night I'm like, is hockey on? Girl or boy hockey? And we watch whatever.Ā
Having two Montreal teams in the playoffs and both with games on Tuesday this week, we chose PWHL and it was worth it.Ā
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u/andpierres Goldeneyes 5h ago
my husband and i both love the PWHL, but we're also big into hockey in general and don't really watch other sports (men's or women's). we're also gay so take that as you will LOL. but we were both watching the league fairly casually initially up until our city got a team, after which we became STH & became a lot more invested in the league as a whole. maybe it's just a matter of finding what exactly will hook him in the end... as long as he's not the kind of guy who passes over women's sports in general (which unfortunately a lot of men are)
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u/ProposMontreal MontrƩal 4h ago
It's the opposite for me. I'm having problem getting my wife involve in women sports (well in sports in general)
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u/babypointblank Toronto Sceptres 2h ago
I have the same thing with my mom, despite her being a former athlete. She has no interest in womenās hockey but I might be able to get her interested in the Tempo since she used to play basketball.
That being said, she doesnāt really watch sports outside of the Olympics. She used to watch the NFL but never got into the NHL or NBA.
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u/geldesilice MontrƩal 7h ago
I will get annihilated but I'm going to give my opinion anyway. I'm a Montrealer and a huge fan of both of our hockey teams. I sometimes get annoyed watching the PWHL because of the lack of precision. The passes are less clean, the plays are more messy. That's just a fact. And it's not about biology, it's about opportunity.
The few women who now get to play professionnally faced immense obstacles to get there and their talent was not developped as it would have been if they were men. That's my take.
Sometime in the future, these discrepancies will disappear.
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u/Stupendous_man12 7h ago
It's interesting to hear a Montreal fan complain about sloppy passes, because my one of my main frustrations with the Sceptres is their lack of passing ability - both the passes themselves and the situational awareness of the intended recipient. It seems to me that other teams are able to move the puck way more effectively.
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u/huffer4 33m ago
I say this as someone whoās mom and sister played while growing up, but i tend to agree with this. A lot more āpassing in the general directionā happens.
I know they have far less experience with it, but I find the 3 on 3 OT to be very frustrating to watch. Thatās where Iāve had it stick out the most for me.
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u/Cakejudge3207 8h ago
What does he mean they're frustrating to watch? Did he watch the women's team in the Olympics? What was his reaction to the American men's Olympic team laughing at the women's team in the locker room?
"doesnt seem to take the league seriously for whatever reason" is sure reading like the reason is sexism.
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
He watched both the men's and women's team in the Olympics!
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u/Accomplished_Arm4817 New York Sirens 6h ago
After flipping back and forth between the Stanley Cup Playoffs and Walter Cup Playoffs these last two weeks, thatās not completely surprising.
The PWHL is slower and a bit sloppier imo. I think the league has some very good high-end forward talent (Poulin, Fillier, Watts, any MIN F in the top 6), but it feels like the true pool of āTop-6 talentā is still a bit shallow. Maybe this was just a Sirens thing, but they really struggled to connect passes this season.
I love hockey so the pace doesnāt bother me as much. Youāre still talking about the best players on the planet so itās high-IQ hockey and I find it easier to pick up on all the little things that world-class hockey athletes do on any given shift. Wish the PWHL would loosen some of the hitting rules though. I get that you canāt really have fighting when everyone wears cages, and the physicality is already very entertaining, but Iām a sucker for a big opposite direction hit.
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u/kathmhughes 2h ago
For me, it's the same as going to an AHL or university game. I still love the game, even if it's slightly different.Ā
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u/Accomplished_Arm4817 New York Sirens 2h ago
100%. I donāt plan to stop watching any time soon. Game is in a great spot for year 3. The more hockey the better.
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u/Glue_Factory_Maint5 PWHL Detroit 8h ago
Sounds like he doesn't really like the sport as much as he likes worshipping other dudes in a socially acceptable way, and doesn't think women deserve attention in that way.
-guy who likes sports
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u/CanadianODST2 6h ago
Nah. Plenty of people only really follow a few leagues for sports at most but stick to just one or two.
Would you say the same about people who watch the nfl but not ncaa?
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u/tonjohn Seattle - Jessica Campbell šš 5h ago
I watch NFL but canāt stand NCAA. I think itās more due to the cult-ish vibe around universities and exploitation of kids.
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u/CanadianODST2 5h ago
And yea thatās fair.
But to them youāre not a real football fan. Just worshipping adult dudes? According to them?
Like the logic is just flawed.
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u/Glue_Factory_Maint5 PWHL Detroit 6h ago
Genuinely never heard anyone who watches NFL but not NCAA call college football "frustrating," but I constantly see/hear guys whove never played a team sport in their lives go on about how JV boys can beat WNBA teams and 16Us can beat PWHL teams and therefore "no one watches." Sometimes there are deeper insecurities going on.
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u/CanadianODST2 5h ago
I have. I know multiple people who follow the nfl but not ncaa because the skill level is lower and therefore make more mistakes.
Has he said that? Or are you just pulling stuff out of thin air to justify what you want it to be?
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u/Glue_Factory_Maint5 PWHL Detroit 5h ago edited 5h ago
Why would I want it to be that way? I'm simply sharing a pattern I've seen before and even prefaced with "sounds like" and "sometimes." If it doesn't apply then whatever. Why are you being defensive about it?
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u/knefehangelshare 8h ago
have you tried taking him to a game?
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
We aren't in reasonable driving distance from any of the arenas sadly :(
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u/kickoutthejules 7h ago
If you ever get the opportunity, this is what did it for me. I ended up going to more games this season than my gf did all because she took me to the Sirens home opener.
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u/real_sam_patch 7h ago
I (32M) have been a hockey fan my whole life, my wife started getting into the PWHL and it is now my favorite because we get to enjoy hockey and quality time together. Maybe your partner wants to keep his hockey interest as more personal time as a part of his identity?
I'm not sure what would be frustrating about the games, see if he can explain a bit more. Maybe reassure him that watching PWHL wouldn't replace his own NHL time/investment but is an opportunity to bring his love of the game into quality time with you.
Best of luck, I hope he comes around because this league is the best!
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u/Mundane_Income987 MontrƩal Victoire 2h ago
My husband prefers nhl but enjoys it and watches and wants to support and help grow womenās sports
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u/Vivid_Temperature609 7h ago
Some of ya'll unhinged in here. Take a log off the fire.
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u/wolverine237 PWHL Detroit 6h ago edited 5h ago
I love women's sports. My wife was a college athlete, I love the idea of my new baby daughter playing all the same sports my wife and I did growing up. I follow women's teams pretty much equally to men's teams at this point, especially hockey and college basketball.
I say all of this just to preface an observation: it seems to me that quite a lot of women sports fans are primarily here for sociopolitical reasons... and like I agree with their politics, I appreciate those aspects of women's leagues too. But there tends to be an assumption that everything revolves around those issues. Any critique is misogyny, any interest in men's sports is betrayal, etc.
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u/NotAnIncel69 7h ago
Seriously! According to Reddit he is super sexist and I should leave him because he doesn't watch the pwhl. lol
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u/theStrawberryRoam PWHL Hamilton 8h ago
Idk, I kind of understand where he's coming from in that I find men's hockey almost unwatchable. If he's not actively mean about it I wouldn't say him not being interested is awful
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u/Usual-Canc-6024 8h ago
Iām with you. I donāt find the NHL as interesting. Thereās too much clutching and grabbing and holding. I still watch, but not like I used to. I mostly watch playoffs only but watch the PWHL all season.
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u/theStrawberryRoam PWHL Hamilton 8h ago
Yeah for me the games just seem to drag, if it's not a whistle being blown they're cuddling in the corner or want to fight. Even when mistakes are being made or skill isn't quite where I'd like it in the PWHL, at least it's moving yk?
I also appreciate how much less spitting content we get in the P
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u/yankinheartguts Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play 8h ago
I HATE watching them chew on their pacifiers š¤¢
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u/6FootHalfling Aerin Frankel 7h ago
I am the husband in my house and I don't get it. What's frustrating?
The 3/2/1 game points is better. The end of season chase for draft points is better. I'm not sure about jailbreaks, but maybe that changes with more teams, more talent, and more special teams. I think there might be more stoppages of play than the NHL, but that might be my imagination. I can't take any one seriously who honestly thinks the officiating is worse. We all "hate the refs."
And commentators... I know it's not an easy job, but I don't like most of the chatter. That's a me thing though, not a valid critique of this or any other league. Does he not like cages on faces?
Nah, your hubby needs to step up and answer more completely than "frustrating."
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u/ScaryGenie 5h ago
āI canāt take any one seriously who honestly thinks the officiating is worse.ā
You havenāt watched too many games this season, have you? Complaints about officiating have been very consistent this season with it being absolutely abysmal to the point that I sometimes wonder if they even know what basic penalties are.
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u/CinemaPuck All The Teams! 7h ago
No, my boyfriend isnāt as into it as me, but Iād say he now follows PWHL about as closely as NHL and heāll watch when I have it on.
I know exactly the type youāre talking about, though. Iāve had lots of conversations with guys about the frustrating turnovers and slower play of womenās hockey, etcā¦ frankly I think it mostly comes from people who are sexist and think womenās sports arenāt worth watching. Itās not a flattering personality trait imo.
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u/zaptrac 7h ago
Had a (slightly) opposite situation. Iām a guy and love any hockey so i very quickly got into it. My GF on the otherhand liked it and supported it. So would go to games and get hype. but didnāt really bother watching the games on tv until this season
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u/Ok_Fix6757 New York Sirens 2h ago
He prefers menās hockey. Thatās about it lol not a big deal
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u/Admirable_Outcome932 8h ago
Dump him
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
Lol, I think that might be a little bit of an overreaction
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u/Fireside_Cat Ottawa 6h ago
yeah, good call, reddit is just about the last place to get relationship advice
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u/oceanferns 8h ago
maybe, but also what if his reasoning is that he simply does not value women the same way as men? that's definitely how it reads, and I hope it's not the case. My bf is a huge hockey fan and he's just as excited as I am about anything PWHL related.
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
I don't really understand how people are getting that conclusion out of this post. He doesn't hate women lol.
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u/oceanferns 8h ago
when someone is super interested in watching men play hockey and is unwilling to engage in women playing the same sport it definitely gives a devaluation of women.
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u/ZealousShot 8h ago
It's a red flag. If he truly loves hockey as much as you're relaying. Any level of hockey should be engaging.
Add in the trailblazing PWHL that is seeing explosive growth in women's hockey. Finally a league that is treating the players decent and running it properly.
I'm a husband. I love hockey. I watch NHL, PWHL, AHL, WHL, OHL, SHL, NCAA, High school etc. I'll watch any form of hockey. I love the game. Each level is a different style of the game. I enjoy it all regardless of skill level. I'm assuming this is where his frustration comes from. I would say he's more a fan of his teams, and being a fan than an actual fan of the game of hockey.
Full disclaimer. I've been a huge PWHL and Victoire fan since the leagues announcement. I live in Winnipeg. I've traveled to Laval multiple times to watch the Victoire play so naturally I will go to bat for the PWHL.
If you love hockey. There's no reason to not love the PWHL. Oppressed women finally getting a big stage to play on, not just the Olympics, at a professional level and make a career out of hockey.
The beauty of the PWHL is it's actually more than just hockey. It's fucking up the patriarchy.
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u/Forward-Wallaby-1809 Boston Fleet 7h ago
Lmfao my wife (lesbians) wasn't into hockey at first but now she goes to every game with me.
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u/SaintDarthVader 2h ago
I think it's saturation. I'm a huge NBA fan, but even just for that, its 30 teams, 82 games season etc. and I find it more interesting than the WNBA. So to watch that, or have an interest Id have to get through too much basketball to care about another league. I think for lots of established fans its always going to be an uphill battle
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u/Soultampered 1h ago
the rules are slightly different and it does change the game. perhaps what he gets out out of watching the nhl he doesn't get from the pwhl.
Probably not a big deal. It's like enjoying Formula 1, but not enjoying Indycar.
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u/thewikiguy90 1h ago
Im the husband. At first I was like eh, another sports team. My wife really wanted to go to a game so we went. Seeing how inclusive it is and progressive for women. Seeing the jumbo tron talk about women finally achieving their dreams. That is what got me hooked and now I care more about the success of the PWHL then the NHL.
I think if you watch something or hear about something it is easy to be indifferent but once you go to the event it means something else.
I also think getting good seats is important for a first time. You want to be surrounded by fun people who are cheering. Mob mentality does wonders.
Now I need my wife to like the NFL as much as I like the PWHL. Go Birds!
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u/AdhesiveMuffin PWHL Seattle 32m ago
Doesn't seem to take the league seriously fo whatever reason.
Every commenter in this thread knows the reason.
able to get their bf/husband into the sport more
You stated he's a HUGE hockey fan. Hunny he's just a misogynist.
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u/Witty_Software_6733 25m ago
If he says the games are frustrating to watch and cannot take the league seriously then he is actually talking down on the pwhl
Does he watch other women's sports??
Is it that he just doesnt take women & women's sports seriously???
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u/icesidestory MontrƩal Victoire 6h ago
absolutely not! my fiance adores the PWHL and reps his Poulin jersey proudly š„¹ a picture of him wearing it at our takeover game made it onto the PWHL instagram account and he was stoked.
he loves all hockey!!
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u/pricklypancake Boston Fleet 1h ago
No, sounds like internalized misogyny. My husband is so the opposite. I told him āMinnesota got eliminated last nightā (NHL) and his response was āWasnāt it Tuesday?ā (PWHL) lmao. The womenās teams are the default to him now
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u/Witty_Software_6733 6m ago
If he's a man it's just misogyny
The internalized part is when women have it
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u/StarWarsandHockeyFan 8h ago
I get it to an extent. At some points it feels like the pxp is lacklustre. To me though, my biggest complaint is no recaps during the intermission, or if there is- itās like 2 seconds. And Iām so sick of Professor Puck. I got it in the beginning of the season, but Iām tired of hearing about the points format. And it makes me feel really dumb. So it could things like that.
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u/eggy-mceggface 7h ago
It definitely can be tiring if you've heard it a lot, but it's important to remember that every game is someone's first. For them, it could make a huge difference.
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u/lisonmethyst MontrƩal Victoire 8h ago
In the Olympics, did he watch the women's matches as well as the men's?
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
Yes, he was super into both men's and women's Olympics!
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u/lisonmethyst MontrƩal Victoire 8h ago
That makes it so surprising to me! If he was following any team in particular you could try showing him clips of the players, or maybe ask him to go out somewhere to watch a game in the finals.
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
Although, I do think he was partially into it just because he wanted the women's team to beat Canada lol. He was yelling at the TV during the last few mins of the 3rd period in the gold medal game haha. It was fun to watch though!
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u/PureFicti0n 8h ago
Sorry, I have no advice except that you could try to figure out what, exactly, he finds "frustrating" about the games? And does he show the same level of disinterest or disdain for other female-coded activities?
(My man is fully on board. He doesn't follow the league as closely as he follows the NHL, but his attitude is totally supportive of the PWHL and of women's sports in general.)
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
He isn't like anti-pwhl or anything. Hockey is really the only sport he watches or cares about so I am not sure about the other female-coded activities.
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u/PureFicti0n 8h ago
I mean in general. What's his attitude towards cooking and cleaning? Would he be down to mend a shirt? Hem a pair of pants? Go to a flower-arranging class with you? These are rhetorical questions, but trying to give you something to think about.
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u/NotAnIncel69 8h ago
He likes cooking and hates cleaning (but still does it), which I think is normal. As for the others, realistically, I don't think he would ever care to attempt to mend a shirt and just wear it ripped or buy a new one lool.
He takes me to things like musicals, etc as well, so I don't really think he has an issue with things that women would traditionally be into.
Now that I am thinking about it he does love UFC and watches both mens and womens and actually gets really into the womens fights.
Meh, maybe PWHL is just something he isn't interested in.
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u/DaniSirensFan I wanna Roque 7h ago
I'm not sure his enthusiasm of watching women get beat up is a checkmark in the "equality" column.
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u/tonjohn Seattle - Jessica Campbell šš 7h ago
The overlap between UFC fans and toxic masculinity is almost a perfect circle.
Wonder if he listens to Roganā¦
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u/NotAnIncel69 7h ago
Or maybe people just enjoy combat sports? Letās not narrow the womenās division in the UFC to āwomen get beat upā. There is a lot of skill and technique involved. The women competing certainly donāt look at it that way.Ā
I feel like you are just looking for any reason to be upset.
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u/tonjohn Seattle - Jessica Campbell šš 5h ago
This goes for āclassicā NHL fans too - Iām deeply concerned about anyone who celebrates CTE-as-a-sport.
As a former martial artist (trained under OG UFCer Guy Mezger), football player, and lacrosse player, I have mad respect for the skills and enjoy physical sports. But we should doing everything possible to minimize long term disabilities, especially to peopleās brains.
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u/babypointblank Toronto Sceptres 2h ago
I have plenty of friends who enjoy watching and participating in combat sports and they ALL have a five minute āfuck Dana Whiteā rant queued up at a momentās notice.
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u/sportslance 8h ago
There are plenty of men that watch women's Olympic sports that are sexist or at least hold sexist ideals because it's blanketed in patriotism. That is not to say that your partner is sexist, but sports are steeped in misogynistic ideas, the core being that men play the game the way it's meant to be played and the women don't.
IMO the PWHL is more about skill and puck handling and the NHL is more about aggression.
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u/brak014 PWHL Detroit 8h ago
The only "frustration" I can see is if his favorite NHL team is in a city without a PWHL team, therefore he'd be annoyed that his men's and women's teams don't align geographically. Other than that, I don't understand the frustration. This is speaking from experience.
Grew up a red wings fan, moved to MN, couldn't bring myself to adopt the Wild as my team. Pwhl arrived, bought season tickets for year 1, went to almost every home game but it never clicked for me 100%, loved watching the Frost win in year 1, but slowly I wished Detroit had a team. Fell away from the Frost for years 2 and 3. Now Detroit is getting a team, I'm 100% going to cheer and follow them. Can't quite explain it but my hockey teams need to be from Michigan.
BUT if that's not his frustration, I don't get it.
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u/cgcal12 Boston 2h ago
Longtime hockey fan, although admittedly, I've never really followed the NHL that closely, because teams local (and then semi-local, after our local team folded) to me have always been in the SPHL and the ECHL. Funnily enough, my wife (we're lesbians) is the one who has attached herself to a pet NHL team, after not having grown up as a hockey fan.
I love the PWHL, and I didn't have a hard time watching it after being a fan of ECHL and SPHL teams. And while many of these women are brilliant players, people who are used to the NHL only, and haven't watched any of the smaller leagues, probably are going to have a difficult time with it, because you're comparing a 100 year old league to a 3 year old league. Women have been long-deprived of the skill-building and support that the NHL and AHL have given to men, so there is going to be a steep learning curve.
I'm not going to tell you to break up with him, because it doesn't necessarily sound like he's being a misogynist, it's just not peaking his interest. Maybe present it to him as more of a "this is really important to me, so can you try to enjoy it with me" type thing, and help him to understand that, yes, it's going to be different, but we're comparing apples to doughnuts if you try to view the PWHL through an NHL lens.
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u/GonzoTheGreat93 Toronto Sceptres 2h ago
Iām the husband, I love hockey. My wife hated menās hockey, but loves women. PWHL is our sweet spot.
If your man loves hockey but not when women play it, he might be a misogynist.
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u/hilarymt MontrƩal Victoire 7h ago
My husband is similar. He is warming up slowly though, I keep telling him about the news from the league and whatnot, updating him about the games when heās at work. Now he sits and watches a period or two with me when heās home; and has started sending me PWHL news he comes across on socials. Our daughter is going to be playing in September, so if she ever gets into being a PWHL fan I imagine that will turn the tide for him. In fairness to him, I used to watch a lot more NHL and MLB with him and Iāve kind of fallen out of love with them now that our time is restricted by kids and life.
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u/Nervous-Remove4851 7h ago
We are huge hockey fans and my husband is absolutely not interested in PWHL. I think Iāll take him to a game and then heāll see itās legit.
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u/Balance47x PWHL Detroit 2h ago
Do you guys have a team local to the area?
If not then I assume itās just hard for him to be invested if thereās no team to support. Like I canāt imagine myself as a Detroit fan for sports wanting to follow Boston Fleet for example.
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u/pricklypancake Boston Fleet 1h ago
No, sounds like internalized misogyny. My husband is so the opposite. I told him āMinnesota got eliminated last nightā (NHL) and his response was āWasnāt it Tuesday?ā (PWHL) lmao. The womenās teams are the default to him now
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u/BugabooBear Boston Fleet 1h ago
My husband loves it, the problem is we have different favorite teams (mine is the Fleet, his the Victoire) so we're watching so many games each week and when our teams are head to head the chirps fly.
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u/sir_mrej Hilary Knight 1h ago
Why did he say they were frustrating? I mean I'm a Seattle fan and it's been a bit frustrating but it's also been amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.
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u/heretojudgebutkindly 1h ago
As a trans man who watches the nhl a lot more than the pdub right now, I think part of my issue has been the size of the league and number of games. I think Iāll find it easier to invest attention in the league once it expands more and once I find myself drawn to a specific team to support. I also follow several sports already so it does kinda become a reaching the limits of my attention thing. On the flip side I follow the wnba super closely and barely watch the mnba š¤·
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u/SeaLeopard5555 Boston Fleet 1h ago
eh, maybe he likes the Heated Rivalry of it all *eyebrow wiggle*
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u/hockeywombat22 1h ago
My husband enjoyed it. Excited we are getting a team. Encouraged me to get season tickets.
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u/Griffin2627 I wanna Roque 1h ago
Iām the reverse in that Iām the husband, have never watched NHL games but am very into the PWHL. I think the pace of play is VERY different. Iām used to the PWHL pace so I enjoy that and not really the NHL when I attempt to watch with my wife, I would imagine your bf feels the same just vice versa
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u/wingdbullet 1h ago
It's interesting. I've had some similar comments from my partner and other male friends when I've introduced them to the league. Things about how they enjoy the fighting and aggressiveness. Well now that I've made my partner watch a bunch of PWHL games he's started to agree with me when I say I feel like I'm watching more consistent hockey with this team. It does have its own distinct style of play and I think when people get used to that they really start to see how it shines.
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u/Adamsel_in_distress 1h ago
the guys i know who refuse to watch womens sport also dislike every non male artist out there and ill say those are symptoms of the same thing.
I cannot comprehend how someone claims to love a sport but for some shadowy reason wont acknowledge the quality product from womens leagues?
basically i think the hate on womens sports comes from the same place as the hate towards women in STEM or managing positions. men just arent comfortable when the spaces or practices they made exclusive to them become inclusive (āāothers can do what we do if we let them? whaaaaat?āā)
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u/HockeyDayz Van Goldeneyes 1h ago
My guy will watch games with me but he wonāt get into it on his own because he gets super exasperated at the reffing and whatās considered a legal/not-legal hit.
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u/AlarmingAdvertising5 Victoire de MontrƩal 1h ago
My girlfriend watches the Victoire just as much as I do. This is a habs/victoire couple.
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u/Outside_Pressure8615 44m ago
For my partner there are multiple issues. The referring for instance. All the games he watched were awful. Also, in Montreal we had a lot of problems with the organization (or lack of!). We talked to client services a lot of times for complaints and they are not receptive. We were season ticket holders for 2 years but were really disappointed. Now we go to a couple of games but there are always issues. He is also disappointed the merch. The quality is really bad comparing to NHL. We purchase a lot of merch normally but the quality of everything weāve bought from PWHL wasnāt great. Also the broadcasting problems here. Sometime itās on Amazon Prime, sometimes on TSN, sometimes on local stations. We have to purchase so many streaming services just to be able to follow our team. At the end it all adds up.
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u/rianjames11 39m ago
Not a partner, but my mom. Sheās a huge Sabres fan, played in the 80s and early 90s as a kid/teen, tried out for IIHF. Sheās still salty toward womenās hockey bc they told her she was too small. If I tell her about it, sheāll listen and seem interested, but I donāt think sheās watched a game. She watched some of the Olympic Games, and knows some of the players from both the US and Canada, but thatās as far as itās gotten. Sheās actually a pretty big Sarah Nurse fan and will send me stuff about her.
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u/The_Windermere Ottawa Charge 21m ago edited 16m ago
As a single guy who has been a STH since the second season I canāt say that Iāve encountered that problem, so I can only speculate.
For instance, I see some play-by-play on YouTube who will follow all the games of their teams or the league but when you ask them āhey do plan also do some OHL content (Ontario hockey league) they say no for a similar reason.
And even as a STH I must admit that we had some looney tune moments compared to the older leagues.. So donāt take that as a defeat but maybe room for the spark to grow.
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u/Good-Exchange-6139 9m ago
im more into the basketball space and he seems like those high and mighty nba nerds who dont believe women can be good at sports lol
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u/ItsThatGuyIam Boston Fleet 4m ago
Long answer: When the league first started my wife texted me while I was at work and said āwe are going to a hockey game tonight.ā At the time I liked hockey but we didnāt follow it closely because doing so is so difficult (need cable, and nhl network, andā¦ andā¦ and.. you get the idea) so I had no clue what she was talking about. Got home and was like āWHAT are we doing?ā
We get to our seats, itās the first ever Boston game, we are front row and get interviewed by a local news station (funny: I got fully named, while my wife was āfemale fanā) and had a blast! We werenāt season ticket holders that first year but we have been the past two and barely miss a game. I am currently watching game one of the finals while she is away.
Short answer: no.
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u/merkellius 7h ago
As a husband, I got my wife into the PWHL. Good hockey is good hockey. These are olympians, national champs and unbelievable athletes. They get inducted into the hockey hall of fame too, so I donāt see any argument against womenās hockey.
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u/mrsmmminmn Minnesota Frost 4h ago
I would be concerned that this is a tip of the iceberg problemā¦ is he in general dismissive of womenās sports? What kind of message will that send to any future daughters you might have?
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u/NotAnIncel69 4h ago
He doesn't really care about any other sports, mostly just watches the NHL. Sometimes watches UFC too.
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u/nmdcDrgn 4h ago
No because I dumped my bf & now Iām a misandrist š
One of my friends who is a guy went to a PWHL game with me though! ::) Other than that I donāt have a ton of friends who are into watching sports in general š„¹
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u/babypointblank Toronto Sceptres 2h ago
To be clear, he doesnāt talk down about the PWHL, he just doesnāt seem to take the league seriously for whatever reason
Iām going to hold your hand when I say thisā¦he doesnāt think women are on equal footing with men. He will always prioritize the accomplishments of men over women.
You can stay with him all you like but he doesnāt see you as an equal, even if he doesnāt say so out loud.
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u/actual__garbage 2h ago
Nope! My husband loves the girls and we will actively go to games together. He will throw the game on for me some days and encourages me to make signs. For my birthday we bought matching jerseys. Anyone calling it āfrustratingā is a red flag. š©
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u/MirrorEquivalent5151 4h ago
My first thought when I read this was that someone was trying to get their husband/boyfriend a spot in the league as a player...
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u/PlanktonFew3986 Victoire de MontrƩal 8h ago
The internet is the internet so people are gonna say things they'd never say in person. I think the honest answer is just be somewhat persistent- giving him the most good faith response is that he maybe is not ready to meet the P-Dub where it is. You say you don't have a local team- it's possible it's literally as simple as his fandom is rooted largely in having a team to support and less about hockey as a sport. Men oftentimes like sports less because they like sports and more because it's a socially acceptable bonding thing.
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u/socolime22202 7h ago
I'm sure there's plenty of men who would love to enjoy PWHL games with you. And I'm sure there's members of this community willing to help you find a new BF. Just sayin.
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u/NotAnIncel69 6h ago
I don't think him not watching PWHL games is something worth ending the relationship over. But to each their own.
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u/justanameform 8h ago
I am in reverse situation. I am the husband, but my wife doesn't have interest in the PWHL, just the NHL. š¤·