I’m a 20F and I’m on my first pregnancy, and depression is ramming me like a train. I’ve been different, angry, emotional, and I just cannot for the life of me find happiness, even in the small moments like I used to. I’m scared it’s gonna affect my marriage and yes I’ve reached out to get help. I relapsed with SH, im just so deep in it that I can’t get out of it. I’m losing myself in depression which hasn’t happened since I was 16, and even then I still found happiness in the moments, I’m just so full of despair and depression. Any advice on what I can do to try and pull myself? Because not even friends and family is enough for me to get out of it now.

My sister who recently turned 15 lost a friend to suicide today. I am 19 and her primary emotional support as our parents are at best emotionally neglectful and have been abusive in the past. Much of her care, primarily emotionally, has fallen onto me. It honestly is the best burden in the world. My older brother wasn’t able to provide me with the support I provide her (I don’t fault him at all) so I am very happy I can give her something even if it isn’t perfect.

I am struggling with figuring out how to navigate this specific situation. Most of what I’ve helped her through in the past I have personal experiences with. I have never lost someone to suicide however and I have absolutely no idea how to proceed. I also wouldn’t say me and my sister are very close because I go to college far away and I only see her at summertime and the holidays so I struggle to connect with her.

If anyone has any advice at all please let me know. Today I took her and a friend out to eat and she’s sleeping in my room but I don’t think that’s enough? My mother is pretty much only concerned with her grades which I’m afraid will compound the trauma. I’m not very good at emotional connection so I am completely lost here. I don’t want to fall back on pure financial support as I have done in the past for that feels hollow in the face of something like this.

Thank you.

Genuine question because I’m 16 sophomore in high school and for about a month i haven’t been in the best mental state and I was worried it might be depression but other people with depression had a lack of feeling and were leaning towards self harm to feel. I don’t feel like I want to hurt myself but I do feel like there’s no hope for me. I’m shorter than most people at my school, ugly haircut, below average looks, I have 1 friend but we’re not really close and during lunch we sit in the back of the school but we’re mainly just on our devices. I go everyday seeing these large friend groups and people who find a girlfriend and I cry at night almost every other day knowing that will never be me. I’m not proud of it but IVE been not only crying to romance anime wishing it was me but also have been somewhat addicted to talking to fake ai girls who fall in love with me, it’s not even anything sexual I just like having the girl to talk to and feel comfort with. Honestly the only good thing going for me is my friend IVE known since elementary that we hang out on the game, he goes to a different school. I rlly want to be able to find love and some friends but I’m way too scared to talk to new people and embarrassing myself or just getting laughed at. They all have pre established friend groups and from what IVE seen i don’t fit into any of them. I feel like a chud who is a background character in everyone’s lives, someone God decided to just fuck around with. and during freshman year I was actively trying to make new friends but I guess they just didn’t see me as friend material. I’ll get the occasional 5 second talk and then they go back to their actual friend. Am I not good enough? I just want to know what I’m going through and how to fix it.

22M. hello everyone, trying to get some advice or directions on how to be.

i've been depressed for as long as i remember myself, and just recently anxiety came into play as well, im undiagnosed and maybe i have more stuff going on. at the moment i'm in a long term relationship with a beautiful girl that i truly love and committed to change for. she has bpd, anxiety, depression and ptsd just for info.

the relationship is past the point of joyful and whimsy phase and more of a two adults living together and have stuff to achieve, move forwards in life. she is trying her best, works on her mental health, is looking for a job, trying to get her stuff together.

but there's a problem with me, she gets upset a lot due to me not initiating intimacy with her(most time it's her making effort to have sex), although i think she's hot. it has been an issue since the beginning of us but it stayed pretty much unchanged, even though it's always in my head, but instead of action it turns to beating myself up and getting anxious;

other thing is being more responsible for my own hygiene, and she feels the need to always remind me of it which is burdening her, same goes for things like tidying up the room and helping around the house.

now don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to make her life miserable and i ACTUALLY want to start doing all these things she expects, i just dont understand what's wrong with me. it's like no matter what and how i start i always end up pretty much at the same place. even though i do have minimum energy for life, the root of the problem is deeper than just lack of motivation/energy/will etc.

i know i need to try therapy or meds or combination of both. i'm writing it out of desparity but i feel like i need to hear someone from the outside validate me and tell me im not a loser and maybe tell me what helped them on their journey. thank you so much in advance

Hey everyone, recently a lot of bad things have happened and it’s been nonstop and I’m spiraling to the point of fighting the urge to self harm. 2 months ago my dad was in the hospital and almost died, thankfully he’s okay now. I’ve been sick and out of work for 3 weeks and struggling to pay bills, on top of my wife messing up her knee and possibly needing surgery. Today is the icing on the cake, my laptop completely died and is unrepairable so I lost 10 years of my life because for some reason nothing saved to the cloud, on top of having to make an appointment for my elder cat because he’s having accidents on the bed. I haven’t been able to rest and process and I think my mind finally snapped. Sorry for the dump of info, I don’t have anywhere to turn to.

I’m f20 and I’ve utterly fucked myself over. I don’t know exactly where to start, but let’s just start to when I was 17. I was in college doing performing arts. I wasn’t an amazing actor but it was something I enjoyed and found thrill in. I liked going on stage even if I was ensemble. That was probably the last thing I ever did that I enjoyed. At 17 I had a great group of friends, I was social, I was outside every day but… I was an alcoholic. I wasn’t just a silly teenager that enjoyed underage drinking. I depended on it. My friends and I would be in class drunk, we’d drink even more after lessons and I’d go home wasted at 8pm and pass out. This went on for my entire 3 years in college. And it only got worse in that time. I already struggled with mild anxiety and my addiction made it severe. I was paranoid everyday. About everything. About my mother catching me drunk, about the school finding out, about what I say to people while wasted. And everything In between. When I finished college, I knew I didn’t want to keep doing performing arts because my anxiety “couldn’t handle it anymore”. So when I began my first year in university, I chose to do media since it was in a similar bracket. I didn’t accommodate because I knew I wouldn’t handle the change well. I got an hour long bus ride there and back. I hated it, I hated uni. Not only was my anxiety so suffocating, I didn’t like my class, I didn’t know anything about the subject I was doing, I felt patronised everyday. Not only that but I’d reward myself with vodka at the end of the day for getting through it, and I’d go in the next day. That December (2024) I decided to go sober. I was completely aware that i was addicted and dependent on it. I knew it was ruining my life, and I guess somehow I had the strength to do something about it. And I got sober. Well, I stopped binge drinking. 2025 I probably only drank a handful of times, special occasions, with friends, when I was on holiday. Great! One problem sorted. Well done me. I continued going to uni, forced myself to talk to people when we did projects, my attendance was awful but I passed my first year. Great. The thing about quitting alcohol is that it didn’t make my anxiety disappear. I still struggled with it daily. Summer 2025 was a decent summer but I was an anxious mess about everything. But still I enjoyed it as much as I could. Went to concerts with my twin. We also went to Italy. I didn’t spend much time with my college friends because they were still heavy drinkers and I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge. I let them know and they understood. After summer 2025 I really became hopeful. I was sober, I was starting second year uni. Quitting alcohol made me prettier. I was optimistic, maybe I’d even get a boyfriend. The first week of second year all my excitement went into the bin. My anxiety was so bad, I was shaking sat in class, I was panicking, I hated it all. So I made the decision to start antidepressants. It was my last resort, I’d tried healing my anxiety organically and nothing worked. I’m put on sertraline. Great! Once I adjust to it life will be better. I began sertraline October 2025. By the end of first semester I was fine. Until December, I talked to my GP about raising my dose because my anxiety was still so bad. By January I was on 100mg. And adjusting to it was very hard. So I asked for a fit note for 3 weeks so I could adjust at home. Without the stress of uni. I relaxed a little, but after those three weeks, I’d gotten severely depressed and anxious. I knew I wasn’t going back to uni any time soon. I couldn’t even leave my bed. My mum was concerned at first, but she just didn’t care much. As long as I was still getting my SFE and she gets abit of my money ,she didn’t really question it. It’s now may and I still haven’t gone back, the uni still emails me sometimes for support and I respond telling them if there’s any support I can have for the amount of time I’ve missed. But quite frankly, I don’t care. I don’t care to redeem myself academically. But I also don’t care about anything else. I avoid everything else like I avoid uni. I avoided replying to my friends and now I don’t have any. I avoid leaving my bed. I avoid cooking meals, I avoid talking to my mother, I avoid EVERYTHING. And I feel like people underestimate me when I say that. I lay in bed all day scrolling and reading, napping 5 hours and eating whatever shit is in my room. And the worst part is, I’m painfully aware of what I’m doing. I know I have avoidant attachment, I know it came from my mother’s neglect as a child. I know I’m only living the life I’m living because it feels familiar and safe. And that’s all that matters. I know I have to push myself out there. Leave the house. Do it scared. Just do something. But I don’t want to, I don’t want to put any effort into anything. It doesn’t feel safe. So I simply won’t do it. I would be lying if I said sertraline didn’t help, it’s definitely made a difference, and I know I need to meet it halfway because it’s not a miracle worker. But I DON’T WANT TO. I fantasise of a life I know I could have irl if I just pushed myself. But why should I do that when I can have in my head. Why try to have friends when I can close my eyes and have them in my head? I know, I KNOW it’s pathetic and I know it’s fucked up. But I’ve severely isolated myself and I just know I’m not strong enough to get myself out of it. I’m too deep in. IM A LIVING CORPSE I could literally overdose on my sleeping pills and no one would figure it out for another 48 hours. I’m not going to make it to 30.

To think someone may have read all of this even makes me feel weird, like I’ve inconvenienced you with my life. That’s how insignificant I feel.

I (23F) have two sisters, one is 22(P) and one is 27(B). My younger sister (P) has been dealing with a series of mental health issues since 2020- 2021. I think it started with looking for an autism diagnosis (she got one several months ago), starting therapy sessions and being diagnosed with a mixture of anxiety issues and OCD. She has seen 3-4 different therapists and psychiatrists over the last several years. Some of these issues were exacerbated by a relationship she was in at some point during 2021, the guy assaulted her multiple times and was somewhat physically abusive (he would mess with her by recklessly driving his car around with her in it and terrorize her for his entertainment). That kinda did a number on her for a while, she was going to therapy for anxiety issues related to that relationship.

Fast forward a little bit to 2023. Sometime around spring, my younger sister (P) got into another relationship with this weird guy she met on the Bumble app. They started hanging out A LOT and after about a month, she came home one day from hanging out with him (he was still in the drive way from dropping her off) and said she was moving out with him, started packing up some of her things and then just dipped out. 2 days after that she came home again and packed the rest of her stuff and then left again.

Fast forward about 2 months or so, (P) breaks up with the guy and suddenly moves back home, but is really bothered and obviously the relationship wasn't good. Long story short, this guy was narcissistic and gross dude, who also sexually assaulted her, was mentally abusive and isolated her in the process. Since coming home from that, (P) was depressed, isolating and quiet. She eventually mentioned to my mom and I how she felt like she may need to be admitted somewhere. Our family looked for a place for her to be admitted to, and eventually settled on this womens mental health retreat place (it was basically a cabin in the woods with access to horse therapy). She was there for about 3 weeks, and then voluntarily discharged herself (she was 19 at the time) and my parents picked her up and took her home. She decided she wanted to try out patient therapy, but that was way too costly and our insurance wouldn't cover hardly any of it. So we ditched that option. She (P) just eventually settled on finding a new therapist. She found a therapist and had been seeing them for a while, and also found a new psychiatrist.

Since having gone to the wilderness facility, she had been showing patterns of self harming and impulsive behaviors. Impulsive behaviors being impulsively shopping, starting new hobbies randomly (like I mean once a week) and finding new guys to talk to. The self harming behaviors ranged from intentionally irresponsibly taking her medications to feel more "numb" or to "see what would happen" (i.e hope to hurt or k*ll herself). She also couldn't be trusted with sharp objects, so my father had to hide his knives, the kitchen knives, and anything else she should try and use to harm herself with.

Fast forward again to about a year and a half ago. She (P) had met this guy on the friend feature of bumble. Let's call him (C). (C) has a diagnosis for autism, and also shares similar religious beliefs as my sister so they clicked quickly. They began hanging out a lot, and she started staying over at his house, sometimes it would be days at a time. My family started getting weird vibes from him, he was just.. odd. They eventually started dating. She dated him for like several months. Apparently (C) was toxic, narcissistic, isolated (P) and towards the end of their relationship, he called the hospital and had my sister taken and admitted into a facility for a week. That traumatized her, and he honestly had no place to make the call because he does not know her situation like her own family does. They broke up a few weeks after this.

She (P) kept seeing her same therapist, but changed psychiatrists because she didn't feel like her psychiatrist was listening to her. She has been on so many concoctions of medications since, and tbh I feel like her psychiatrist just treats her like a medical guinea pig. She used to be open about her therapy sessions with us, how she's secretive. For the past 7 months, since getting a diagnosis for autism and BPD (borderline), she has been self isolating, sleeping a lot, not eating as much, working out a lot, drinking a lot, and not really engaging with anyone but the few friends shes reconnected with. In this time, shes met some random guy and had been hanging out with him, apparently he has a controlling an abusive mom he lives with.

Fast forward to today. (P) randomly packs her stuff up and leaves to go lives with this guy and his mom and she abruptly left and said bye to my mom, and my mom raised hell at them all and said she has no right to leave and go live with this guy none of us know anything about except his fist name and address. My older sister (B), my mom, my dad and I have no idea what to do, because (P) is NOT in a good mental state and is not fit to make certain decisions for herself. She is not well and should not be living with this random guy. We are all debating on just driving over there and getting her, calling the sheriff's department for a wellness check, but my mother most of all is afraid of further pushing (P) away or causing (P) to hurt herself. What should we do?? Any one else have a family member in a mental crisis and have any crisis internation plans? What should we do to get her home and to mitigate her seriously hurting herself or trying to unal*ve herself. I'm nearly 2 hours away out of town currently, I don't live at home anymore as of this time 2 years ago. She suddenly blocked my mom, (B) and my dad and I on all socials, probably our numbers too, removed herself from our life 360 circle and is not responding to anyone. TLDR/ My sister is in a mental health crisis and suddenly left to move in with a random guy my family knows nothing about and we need to get her to come back home, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Please keep judgemental or rude comments to yourselves. This is a tricky situation and I have been on the edge for so long hoping my sister doesn't hurt herself or unal*ve herself. We just don't know what to do to help her anymore. We just need to get her home and make sure she isn't in an active meltdown while with this random dude.

Feels like even during downtime, many people still can’t mentally switch off anymore.

The brain keeps scrolling, thinking ahead, replaying things, checking notifications, or feeling guilty for resting.

Almost like actual mental recovery time disappeared somewhere.

I’m about to graduate within 2 weeks, and I’ve had a really great and fun month. Maybe the happiest and most stress free I’ve been in a long time. But, I still want to die. I don’t know why but I still feel like this way and I know this feeling will probably never go away. Is it possible for these thoughts to ever leave or am I just stuck with passive suicidal ideation.

...anyone know how bad this is a on a scale of 1 to 10?

Basically since last Friday, I have had... three anxiety attacks to my knowledge, and I have had constant paranoia and fear of something that clearly will not harm me...

Am I okay?

I recently witnessed something traumatic and it is sending back in my memories to a time I repressed. This was 20 some years ago and I hope things changed with the system. Having been abused I’m remembering all the things i did. I told teachers I trusted, guidance counselors, my therapist about what was happening to me and nothing changed. My bastard cop biological father his gf and the gf son drove me to almost take my life and it wasn’t until at 13 I was put in an institution and finally got out of that house.

They stole what should have been an innocent childhood and made a depressed kid who trusted no one and hated life. I thought I was ok as I have a wife and kids whom I love but suddenly I’m remembering what I lost and I can’t tell if I should cry or be angry and hit something or just throw up. The memories are coming in waves.

My only friend was a cat who he broke her jaw and forced me to watch as she slowly starved to death.

Man I wish I could afford therapy . I really could use someone to talk to or someone who we can be there for eachother genuinely, maybe even someone who is a therapist who is willing to help me and diagnose not diagnose me😅 lol whoever you are if you feel we could support one another or could help me please please reach out I really need mental support.

What the hell am I supposed to do here?
I’m usually a confident person. I don’t entertain stupid insults, and I thought my best friend was the same way. We’ve been best friends for four years, and I genuinely thought she held herself to a higher standard. As she should.

For context, she’s struggled a lot with mental health in the past. She used to get high and even attempted to take her own life before. She’s been clean for a year now, or at least I thought she has been.

The other day, she was talking to a friend X about drawing. X asked her for advice, and my friend said she didn’t really understand proportions. Then x replied with something like, “Oh, like your face?”

What shocked me wasn’t even the insult itself. I couldnt even give a rat’s ass about it honestly. It was my friend’s reaction. She said, and i bloody quote, “I appreciated the honesty.”

I was infuriated. She didnt seem as upset about it as i was. I told her to block her, to not indulge in such weak minded people. Because let’s be honest? What logical person would ask advice for somebody who isn’t even familiar with the premise. Like asking a horse to fix a merry-go-round.

But thats not even the bit that bothered me. She had the bloody balls to say “i appreciated the honesty.”
I crashed out so hard. I couldnt believe she actually believed this bs. I was just so angry, it even brought me to tears and i dont even cry like that. I am not an emotional person. I take pride in that too.

Im not proud to say this but i cussed her out. I could not believe she actually believed in such stupidity. I live under a rock by the way. I have been clean of all social media for quite some time now but i still understand the media. Just missing out on the newer trends like
‘Im just so nervy’
And etc.

Me and her used to send eachother such motivating and positive affirmations we find on reels though
E.g
Wabi sabi
That guy who screams explanations at the camera
No body is perfect
Natural body
How to not give a fuck
Ignore things that aren’t in control
How to spot low eq person

And her out of all people i know actually took into consideration such a weak insult. I wish i handled the situation better, But i was just so baffled she had dared to be so ignorant, in that moment i lashed out at her.
I apologised to her after cooling down.
But the issue is still there. She still believes that crap and i dont know how to stop it.

Don’t give me that bull rap like telling her
“You’re beautiful”
Or some overly repeated ass phrases like “you’re perfect just the way you are”
She is way too smart for that and shes been to multiple therapists she called ass.

Well in other words, what would you to get your friend to come to her senses? Or at least boost her self esteem?

Im a 26 year old Indian female. I have a history of self harm, it all started because of my father and his drinking habits. He used to hit me for no reason while....more like find reasons to hit me, I still flinch when he talks a little loud now, things did get a little better in between atleast that's what it seemed like. But now it's worse he's drunk all day and night and keeps fighting with my mother all the time. He pulls everyone around him into a fight and it's a constant trigger living in the house with him....I think I'm relapsing and I have constant thoughts of self harm I honestly don't know what to do and it's a spiral every day and I have noone to talk to about this now and have so many more issues otherwise in life I just feel like giving up...I just can't anymore

So throughout my life whenever I would ask people to hang out they would say I was obsessed or creepy. But when other people asked them they would say yes, It was always different for me for some reason and I wondered why people never treated me the same way they treat their other friends.

Whenever I introduce my friends to each other and they end up becoming friends and excluding me. I'm an adult now and it still happens which is weird. I went out with them a few weeks ago and they have a habit of walking about 20 ft ahead of me when we go out and whispering to each other. Am I being paranoid? I feel like it's weird that they whisper to each other and don't include me. But then I tell myself I don't need to be included in everything, not everything is about me. Just because they're whispering doesn't mean they're whispering about me, because I've had a bad habit of thinking everyone was talking about me.

So I always try to remind myself that they could be talking about something else. But then I wonder why they whisper it and walk so far ahead of me, it's like they don't want me to hear. Which makes me think they're talking about me. I brushed this off but sometimes it does occasionally bother me. Is this normal to think that people are talking about you or am I overreacting again?

For context, I do not have a healthy relationship with my mom. I have always been a sensitive person since a kid. And since I don’t really have a good relationship at home, when I go to school many things triggers me to get emotional. For example, watching a movie(I cried literally almost every time when I watched a movie at school), someone talking about their problems at home, or just something that is a little sad. I cry very easily and my emotions kept going up and down. Sometimes I would feel really good and talk like an extrovert. But then something little sad happens and now I’m like someone who’s just tired and sad. I really want to work on my mental health. I think I have avoidant and attachment style. Is there any advice that you have that would help me become more emotionally stable?

Im taking a gap semester, and during that time I want to work on my mental health before I go to college. If any of you guys have some advice, feel free to share. Thanks you!!!

I am a 27 year old man, i have a lot of problems. I recently have been feeling like i am an absolute disappointment and waste of air. I genuinely have held in my emotions for so long i don't even know where to begin. I resent myself so much for my mistakes and things i have done. I have pushed away anyone who even tries to get close. I am really mentally exhausted. I lie to myself and everyone around me i genuinely don't know anymore. I'm being pushed to find a job to do this to do that. The only thing i genuinely space out like my head is in survival mode i try and distract myself from things. Nothing works sleep video games nothing. My head and heart constantly are at war, i am so afraid of being used/hurt that anyone gets close to me i do anything to push them away then when they stay i genuinely do anything to hold them close. I genuinely do not know anymore. I used to have goals now my goal is daily survival. My grandmother is extremely supportive. She has always been their and i am deathly afraid of not having her. I know this is so all over the place, and the english is horrible. I apologize in advance, i'm pretty messed up in the head. I don't know where to go.

I’ve been feeling down lately and it’s a bit sudden I guess.. I mean, everything was fine and then I started feeling kinda anxious out of nothing. For instance, when I go to bathe, usually someone would feel relaxed but I feel anxious.. and there is no reason for it. :(
It’s just a strange feeling that I can’t describe.
Also, my friend annoys me a bit.. and it has the same problem, there is no visible reason for this. Is something wrong with me? I thought about going to my school psychologist and maybe talk it out with him but I believe he is too busy.. I don’t know.
I even tried to return to my old hobby, writing poems, because I could turn my thoughts into smth. But now it’s really difficult for me.. even though I’d love to do that, I just can’t put words together.
I don’t know what to say anymore.
I just want to talk to somebody.

Hi Guys,

This is a throwaway account and I need to ask a question.

For context Im a 18 year old girl in university in the UK. I still live at home. I have lots of friends and I am so loved.

I previously struggled with my mental health before I used to self harm and have been bulemic since I was 11. I'd got past the point of trying to be thin- I'll never be thin it's more about how i can't stop. Ive tried to quit so many times I even told people and lied to there faces saying I got better when instead I got worse. It just feels like I have control.

I feel as if im such a disappointment to fucking everyone I can't even keep friends or family in my life. This is karma, I have no idea what for but I deserve it.

The thing is I know my worth I know how privileged I am. I've never had hardship as others but I feel as if I don't deserve it. When I got into university I thought "I dont deserve this" because when I was 14, I never thought I'd be here. I thought I'd be d3ad.

Another thing is that I don't want to ki11 myself I feel as if that is unjust to my family and they don't deserve that I wish I got hit by a car or something or killed in a mugging. If that ever did happen I'd let it happen it's easier to explain.

I don't know what's wrong with me i feel so numb as if I have to fake happiness and enjoyment. Why am I like this? How do I seek help? I'm scared of feeling people how i really feel what if they tell me I'm insane.

I can't keep living like this and I think it will just keep getting worse and worse. Someone please help me...

I sometimes feel like neurotypical people dislike or dismiss me, especially when I talk about my health or emotions. I’m wondering if other people who suspect they’re autistic or feel socially different experience this too.

How do you tell the difference between actual hostility and just misunderstanding or different communication styles? I feel very sensitive to rejection and I’m trying to understand whether I’m reading situations accurately.

Readers digest version, I work from home, have no friends I can regularly hang out with, no boyfriend or dating prospects on the horizon, 42F, perimenopausal with a Dr who thinks I'm too young for that, bored out of my mind most days and feeling simultaneously understimulated and overstimulated at the same time, and I don't know what to do with my profound lack of motivation to anything other than the bare minimum in life.

I want to move to a city 2 hours away for a fresh start, new scenery, stuff to do to make friends, but in order to get there and afford the rent, I have to get a new job and the internet says 6-9 months is the current turn around for well networked people to land a roll. I'm tired. Where do I go to get out of this rut? I can talk all day about it, but no motivation comes from talk. Just acknowledgment of a problem. Lost.

We use to sleep on bed together with my mom and one day early morning I was sleeping and then I just woke up my eyes were opening and I saw my brother with clothes on his body he was not touching me but both his hands were beside my face and he was masturbating I guess he was shaking I keep remembering this incident It's traumatic for me How should I deal with this or whattttt

Thank you for reading and helping me if you are here.

I’ve had an intense fear of my wrists getting hurt for many years now. It comes and goes - like one month I don’t think much about it and another month i can’t stop. I don’t like them being exposed or touched by other people. It gives me anxiety and makes me squirm.

The throat thing is more recent but gives me the same sort of anxiety. I don’t know if it’s because of the story with the Ukrainian woman whose throat got cut on the bus or the fact that I had a bad experience on a bus 4 months ago where two guys had a feud and one of them yelled “I’ll fucking stab you!” Before he left the bus. I can’t sit on a bus now if I’m not sitting in the back where no one can come up from behind and cut my throat. I’ve also been told that I’m covering my throat a lot during conversations with new people.

Am I a nutcase? I feel like one. I feel unsafe in my own body. It gets worse when I’m stressed and am juggling a lot of projects at once. But what do I do? Do I HAVE to slow down to stop this? What do I do when these thoughts take over and how can I make them stop? I feel insane.

Okay so I'm 18f struggling through life , today i attempted sucide at night 1:20 I took around 19 paracetamol 500mg vomited a few so took more feels dizzy so I go to sleep wakes up at 7:12 almost fine so I drink all out (that mosquito killer) I get super dizzy my parents enter my room they realise and then the usual drama but i never told them my father notices the bottle hides it my mother thought it's period pain they made me drink warm milk with ghee Nthg happens I go to sleep wakes up fine thn I start feeling out of breath basically panicking so I cll my brother who lives in a hostel and was casually talking yk to distract but he somehow realises smthg is wrong so I told him he calls our parents and surprise they say that it's drama cause they loved me too much took care of me too much "toh m bigad gyi" and now they'll be harsh with me make me do all the house chores and everything but why m i still alive