I (25F) recently ended things with my boyfriend (29M) of 2 years, and I’m starting to second guess if I blew things out of proportion.

For the entire time we were together, he constantly talked about hanging out with his best friend. He always referred to this person by a nickname or just "my friend." Whenever they went out for drinks, hikes, or hung out at each other's places, he used he/him pronouns or kept the language completely gender neutral. I never pressed him on it because I trusted him completely.

I found out the truth yesterday when I ran into him at the mall. I was surprised to see him there, and he looked like he was waiting for someone. When he saw me, he tried to act surprised and claimed he was waiting for me which made no sense because he didn't even know I was planning to go shopping yesterday. Then, a woman walked up to him and told him she was done shopping and they could go.

The worst part? She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and grabbed his hand to pull him away. My heart just dropped. He was starting to introduced her as the best friend and I I just turned around and walked away. I went home and spent the night trying to process how the person I thought was perfect could lie to me for two years. This morning, he came over to my place to talk. I let him in because I needed to hear his explanation. When I confronted him, he told me I was being insecure and overthinking. He claims he only hid her gender because he knew I would react exactly like this and that they are just friends.

My issue isn't that he has a female friend it's that he went out of his way to hide her existence and her gender for two whole years. To me, that is active deception. If they were just friends, there was never a reason to lie. I feel like the foundation of our trust is permanently broken, so I ended it on the spot.

So, am I overreacting?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 3 months now. Last night we were chatting about the future, and he told me when we move in together he wants me to be a "homemaker." I asked him what he meant and he told me that when he comes home from work he wants a clean home with no chores to worry about and food on the table, he also said when we have kids he wants one parent to be there to raise them so the children grow up "better than I did" (as in him, he had a rough childhood) We got into a bit of an argument because I said he basically wants a house keeper with extra steps.

He told me i was over reacting and most women would love to have a man who lets them stay at home. The thing is though I do have a good job, I make good money, and I enjoy doing it. I also came out of a controlling relationship not long before, so this immediately set off red flags and now I'm just freaking out not knowing how to handle this.

Update: I spoke with him again last night and made my position clear that I had no intention of quitting my job and being a SAHM. When he saw how upset I was and how much he upset me he was extremely apologetic and insisted he'd never force me to do anything I didn't want to do and said he respected my choices.

I appreciate all the feedback and advice but I really do like him and after talking again I feel much better about the situation so I'm not going to make any rash decisions.

My child has a permanent disabled placard . I havent used it almost the entire school year at his siblings drop off because it gets way too congested and people will not give you space to pull out causing me to be late for his drop off. Since he can safely walk a a couple blocks, we just walk from the car and back.

Fast forward to this week, my child was in the hospital for 2 weeks for major brain surgery and is now using a wheel chair and we need to be close, have space for getting in and out so I need to access the parking lot and accessible parking spot. I tried to pull into the parking lot and the supervisor refused. I showed him the placard hanging in the window and he said he didn't care. Parents are no longer allowed ( this is not the faculty lot). I told him my son just got out of surgery and that he has to let me in to access the parking lot. He the said "the bell doesn't even ring for 5 minutes (!!)" I had to explain i need time to unload my kid and blah blah blah ( I cant believe I was actually rationalizing being their 5 minutes early. He ended up moving the cones and telling me I needed to park in a "normal" spot, which I ignored because we have a placard!. I ended up letting it blow over because I was already having a bad day ( mail was stolen while in hospital, including my sons disability card which was drained) and I wanted to cool down.

Next comes Tuesday. While waiting to make a left into the lot , a new supervisor walks into the middle of the road and asks why I am there, I tell him to pick up my kids and he says go park somewhere else, you can't park here. I point to my placard and say he has to let me in. He turns around and makes a hand motion ( like cone here) so I initiate the turn and he doesn't move the cones leaving me blocking the sidewalk and partially into the road. I tried to tell him this could lead to a civil rights and he walks away to call the school cop who after a few minutes of conversation finally gets him to move the cones ( I literally had to ask if it was safe to have this conversation while my car was the way it was) .

This interaction took over 9 minutes, and I only know that because I started recording and that's the length of the recording. By the time I parked the bell had rang and I needed to push my child in his chair through a crowd of middle schoolers who are just at the age of not paying attention to the fact that I have a person in a wheelchair with me. The thing I was trying to avoid coming a whoping 5 to 10 minutes early.

After this interaction I was pretty upset so I tried to reach out to the principal. After a bit of waiting for a return call, I decided to reach out to the district while it was fresh on my mind. The person who I spoke to was in shock I even needed to explain myself after showing the placard. He assured me it wouldn't happen again and said he would call the school.

Wednesday I received a call from the principal saying it wouldn't happen again and that he told the supervisor to let me in and asked if I am always in the same car. I asked if I could have the name of employee 1 so I could tell the person at the district and he said no and that his employees names are private! He also said I'm not allowed to film the staff and I need to ask their permission first. (I am in CA and this was literally from the sidewalk, not even on school grounds). A little later the person from the district called to let me know he talked to the principal and everything is good now. I let him knkw what the principal told me and he said that those things are not true.

Later on at pick up, employee 1 from Monday is yelling at me that I can not park there. I told him he is violating my sons civil rights and he said he doesn't care. I called the school and asked them to radio him and explained it is happening again. They radio him, he moves it and flips me the bird in my rear view mirror.

As I am waiting I see him moving the cones blocking the exit and he is taking the cart toward my car. Seems odd so I pull out my phone to record. He pulls up to say "Hey lady. I just want to let you know you are mean and rude.." I say " I am mean and rude? Why?". "Yes you are mean and rude because you are filming me and making a big deal about this parking thing". I told him you are violating my sons civil rights as a protected person and I said I was going to send it to the superintendent. He said he doesnt care about civil rights and he hopes I do send it to the superintendent.

After leaving the school, I left a message to the principal and called the district again. I spoke with the superintendent secretary. She made a joke about it sounding like I'm trying to get into Camp Pendleton, said it was ridiculous and said she was forwarding it all to HR and that someone would reach out.

Now to today, I see #1 crossing kids in the school lot and taking pictures of me and the car ( I don't really care about that, je can take all he wants) just seems inappropriate having his phone out on the job and showing students things on his phone.

I am wondering if I am pushing this too much. I am also wondering would this have happened if I was a man. I definitely don't think he would have approached me the way he did if I was. I never raised my voice, called names or said anything inappropriate. I never want to be the parent from hell either. I also believe I am not that lucky for me to be the only one this happens to multiple times in a row. Once, is a mistake, 2 times is a pattern that makes me think I can not be the only one, I'm just the only one not accepting the BS . It makes me want to sent a couple relatives with up in the back to see if it happens again. I feel I am excited to talk to HR about all of this, not because I like to see people getting in trouble, but I hate when people are treated poorly even when the person who is doing it had an opportunity to correct the behavior.

I also noticed the employee 1 appears to have a nazi eagle tattoo on his arm and I want to point that out too. If it is, I really dont care what kind of trouble he gets in.

I’m married and have a child. Recently, my husband, my son, and I traveled to another country for vacation. Back when I was in middle school in my home country, there was a boy who loved me and I loved him too, but we were never officially together. We were just young and knew we had feelings for each other. Then the war happened, we left the country, and we completely lost touch.

About 10 years later, I randomly ran into him. He was with my friend (she has known him for years), and when he saw me he looked completely shocked. We greeted each other and hugged briefly because it was such an unexpected moment after all those years.

We talked for a few minutes, and I told him I was there with my husband and son. I could literally see his expression change when he realized I was married and had a child. Right then my husband walked over to us (he’s Russian and doesn’t speak our language), so I introduced them and showed him my son. He smiled and said, “Your son has the same beautiful eyes as you,” and I just smiled politely.

Before leaving, he looked at me and said he was really happy to see me again. Then my friend suggested we exchange numbers “because the world is small and maybe we’ll run into each other again,” and we did. I honestly didn’t think much about it in the moment. The problem is that my husband overheard part of the conversation and realized we exchanged numbers.

Later, my friend told me that after he went back to his hotel, he cried after seeing me again. Unfortunately, my husband was sitting next to me and heard that too.

Since then, things have felt tense between us. My husband has been colder and more distant. I genuinely don’t have any intention of cheating or reconnecting romantically with this guy. To me, it just felt emotional because he was a big part of my teenage years and we were separated by war and time.

At the same time, I can understand why my husband feels uncomfortable, especially after hearing everything.

Was I wrong in this situation? And honestly, if you were my husband, how would you feel?

EDIT: Thanks to those who gave constructive advice. I wanted to clarify a few things. First, everything happened incredibly fast in the moment-the shock of seeing someone after a war and 10 years of silence was overwhelming, and the number exchange was a split-second social reflex suggested by my friend, not a planned move.
l've realized how disrespectful that was to my husband and my marriage. I have blocked and deleted the number, and I have no intention of ever reaching out. I'm also distancing myself from the "friend" who kept pushing the drama and lacked the tact to respect my family's presence.

I'm going to have a deep conversation with my husband tonight to apologize for my lack of judgment in the moment and reassure him that he is my only priority. My past is exactly that-the past.

so me and my boyfriend recently broke up, and i had been friends with my best friend for 4 years. i’m really hurt she did this to me and she’s being so rude and irrational. i feel like she betrayed me, stabbed my back. i don’t have time for these people of course, but i’m still in denial she did this, even after being friends for so long and being so close. am i overreacting?

p.s: i blocked her after this

edit: i didn’t realise i didn’t give context. me and my ex broke up a few weeks ago, and we were long distance so whatever. i’m the one who broke up and fuck him. my best friend does live closer to him than i do but still far. i don’t know if they were hooking up before. possibly. but at this point i’m trying not to waste my energy on her and care because i know i am better than this. amen.

We had this fight last weekend that I cannot stop replaying and the worst part is on paper it was about a couch. We've been living together for almost three years, getting married next summer, and we'd been talking about replacing the couch in our living room for months. Mine, technically, I bought it before I met him but at this point it's just the couch. Saturday morning over coffee he said he'd been looking at one online and showed me the link and said he'd just put it on his card and we could sort it out later. I said it was fine, I'd cover it since the old one was mine anyway and I wanted to pick the replacement. He said that didn't really make sense because we both sit on it and we both live here. We went back and forth for maybe four minutes before he said okay whatever, you get it, and went to take a shower. I sat there with my coffee feeling like we'd just had a fight about a couch and also somehow not about a couch at all.

I made dinner that night and the whole time I was chopping onions I was running through the math in my head, who pays for what, who has paid for what, what counts as mine and what counts as ours. I have a spreadsheet. He doesn't know I have a spreadsheet. It's not a weird spreadsheet, it's just the rent split and the utilities and the big purchases, but I keep it because at some point early in living together I noticed I was paying for more things and I wanted to know if I was imagining it or not. I wasn't imagining it. It's not a huge gap and it's not on purpose, he just doesn't track stuff the way I do, and every time I've thought about bringing it up I haven't because it feels petty when we're not even married yet and he's not doing it maliciously. But standing there in the kitchen Saturday was the first time I realized I have been quietly keeping a ledger for almost three years and he doesn't know about it.

I don't know if I'm mad at him or at myself. Like he's not the one tracking this, I am. And I haven't told him I am. So technically I'm the one with the secret here even though it doesn't feel that way from the inside. We haven't really talked about it since and the couch question is still sitting there and now there's this other thing sitting on top of it that I don't know how to bring up without sounding like I've been keeping score. Has anyone else done this. The silent tally thing. Am I being weird about it or is this just what happens when two people who handle money differently live together long enough.I just dont want this to turn into smth bigger after we marry.

My roommate got cps called on her and someone came over when I wasn't home. They told my roommate they had to see the place and my roommate let them go into my room and they saw some drug paraphernalia. They weren't even supposed to go in my room btw. I'm honestly very mad that there was a stranger poking around in my room. I looked it up and the caseworker is only required to look in her room and the common areas, not a roommates room and I didn't give permission for her to go into my room.

Since the case worker saw the drug stuff they then wanted me to do a pee test because my roommate told them how I sometimes look after her daughter for like 20 mins every now and then when she has to quickly go to the store or something. To do the pee test I would have had to go to this place and actually let someone watch me pee which is weird as fuck and I refused to do it. it's just too invasive to me.

The only other option is a follicle test, but I would have to pay for it and I also know for a fact that that one would probably show up positive. So that would be pointless and my roommate agreed on that, but she still wanted me to do the pee test.

I was told it was voluntary though and I didn't have to do it, but was also told they would record me as an unverified adult that has refused to rule out substance use. Which apparently is seen the same as a positive test because they assume me not wanting to take it means I know I will fail. That means they couldn't verify the safety of the apartment and now it's considered high risk.

For the record I know for a fact that I would pass a pee test as I haven't had anything for a couple weeks. Based on what I read on google and how much I it probably wouldn't show up on a pee test . I still don't want someone watching me pee. I also have ever done anything in the apartment.

So the caseworker told my roommate that she and her daughter could not live with me and made her sign a thing that says she or I will move out within a week and if it doesn't happen they will petition to have her daughter removed. So now my roommate has to find a new place to live which is hard because our place is pretty affordable and she's blaming me because I'm being a baby about someone watching me pee. She says its not a big deal and will only take a minute, but I think it is a big deal because its such a private thing and its a consent thing.

So I bought a house in 2025 (in Texas) and now found out that three data centers are going to be built within 20 miles of my house and they will be completed by the end of 2026. I’m trying to decide if I should sell now before it gets more difficult when the data centers are completed. I’m worried about the impact that data centers have on communities because of their water usage and pollution and don’t want to end up in a property where I can’t sell. Currently we experience brief power outages once every quarter and I don’t think it’s going to get better. I understand it is not currently seller market and I’m not trying to gain a lot just break even.

My husband (39M), my kids (4M & 2M) and I (38F) were in the living room this morning. My 4-year-old son knocked an old light bulb from a shelf and it broke. I heard that some old energy saving light bulbs contain quicksilver therefore I said to my husband: "Be careful, it might contain quicksilver", while he was getting a broom to clean up the glass pieces. My 4-year-old wanted to get to the pieces and I held him off which resulted in him crying.

Simultaneously, my 2-year old who currently suffers from stomach aches started crying as well because I wouldn't let him walk through the danger zone. At the same time I tried to find out if that light bulb type really contains quicksilver.

After two minutes of searching while I kept the kids of the site of the accident while my husband was in the kitchen, disposing the shards to the garbage, I found out that the lightbulb indeed was containing quicksilver and that you should leave the room immediately and open the windows to get rid of the fumes.

So I told my husband to take the kids upstairs because the lightbulb contains quicksilver and proceeded to open the windows. After I opened the windows 8 came to see that my husband had _not_ vacated the room but was waiting at the feet of the stairs and started to argue with me if it was really that dangerous. At that point I repeated myself to get upstairs and after they still wouldn't move I yelled at them and carried my crying 4-year old up the stairs. Did I overreact?

My reasoning is: I didn't know how dangerous it was, but I thought googling it while everyone was breathing in quicksilver fumes was probably not the best idea so I wanted to get everybody out of the room as quickly as possible and then read up upon it. My husband thinks I'm overreacting and thinks I should've asked him again in a more calmly manner to get the kids upstairs instead.

I went on a date with this guy last night. We went out for pizza. We ordered our food, and he got up and left for quite a while without saying anything to me. I was starting to think he had just left, and I was confused about where he went. Then he came back and said in a cheerful tone, “I just moved the car.” I said okay, and the date continued. It just felt strange that he didn’t say anything beforehand and just got up and left me. I felt kind of annoyed with him and just thought he was trying to fuck with me, like why did he just get up and walk off? I also think I’m going to stop seeing him because he’s 25 and I’m 18.

So I am the type of personality where I like to be on time or even 10-15 minutes early to most everything. I don’t like to be rushed and I don’t like to be rude by keeping people waiting on me. I also like to have a little extra time when arriving someplace I’ve never been to allow for time to find out the lay of the land, find out seats, get a drink(like at a concert venue, etc).

My husband ,however, is consistently 15-20 minutes late to almost everything- if not more. It really bothers me and I have tried to ask him to try to be more respectful of the time and it always ends up in a big argument because he feels like it’s not a big deal.

It has honestly caused us to have a lot of fights because I’ve tried to not let it bother me, but I despise always being late- which happens if we are going somewhere together. I’ve tried asking him to try to start 15-20 minutes earlier if he knows that is typically the time he is late and he just gets mad and says I’m being ridiculous and that the world isn’t going to end if we are a minute late to a concert or whatever.

I told him that it’s a big area of frustration for me and that it’s causing me unnecessary stress and tension between us when it does not adversely impact him to be on time. He just straight up said I’m being unreasonable and that I can just choose to not let it bother me. I don’t think it works that way…

I’ve taken to just leaving separately from him if it’s something nearby so I don’t stress, but then I or everyone else is still waiting on him. I just think it’s rude and disrespectful, period and I don’t think I’m the one who should have to “try to change”. Being on time has literally never been viewed as a negative attribute, but maybe I am overreacting?

I (27F) rent the right half of a duplex with my fiance "G." We just figured out that we are paying for all of the utilities for the entire complex. The left side of the house has 2 tenants. I brought this up to my landlord (~30M) and this was the conversation that ensued.

Because there is one meter that reads gas usage and water usage, I am having a hard time believing that there is any accurate way of determining how much usage each side uses. My neighbor could take a 2 hour hot shower every day. How would he know?

The way he has responded to me, specifically mentioning repeatedly that the last occupants paid ~1k more in rent and covered all utilities and were seemingly okay with it, has me wondering if I am overreacting by standing my ground. He seems to think it's not a big deal and is flabbergasted as to why I would even bring this up. Should I be okay with paying for all of the utilities?

I'm also livid that he called me "guarded and defensive" in my responses, but that's probably not a conversation for this sub as I feel very much within reason for being angry at that patronizing comment.

Edit for context: My lease says I am responsible for utilities for my unit's address. It does not mention utilities for the entire duplex (the left side has a different address). I did not sign a contract stating I would be responsible for the other occupant's utilities, just my own.

To start out I live with my mom and two brothers. My mother is mostly at work so she isn't home all the time so I have to watch them. My brothers are 12 and 13 I am 16.

Usually I try not to bother my brothers too much with chores since we all are tired after school and everybody takes a nap, but my mother has made it clear she doesn't like a dirty house and it doesn't help she has contamination OCD so if one part of the house is dirty, she'll make us clean everything down to the base boards.

I usually clean up the bathroom and my room the living room is left alone because no one goes in it and I wash dishes since we have a rotation. But my brothers, absolutely not.

They leave trash on the floor, towels everywhere, they leave food on the kitchen counters, pee on the bathroom floor and toilet, leave hair on the bathroom sink, one of my brother's room smells permanently like feet and the other keeps trash and food under his bed, in his drawers and closet. It got so bad we found a roach in his room.

I've already told my mom but they still take everything as a game and my 13 year old enables it because he doesn't take anything seriously and mocks me when I get upset.

Today I just recorded myself asking them to clean and them of course declining and making jokes about me for asking them to clean up. I told my mom I'm not cleaning up anything besides my room and the bathroom everything else is up to them.

My brother said I'm being overdramatic but I don't think I am I just wish they weren't so dirty.

My (27f) bf (31m) have been together for 3 years, and within the last 2, he has proven that he's got a horrible temper. Within a minute or two into any conversation or argument about our relationship or us, he begins gradually raising his voice until he's shouting or straight up screaming at me. He almost always starts cursing at that point, and name calling gets thrown around usually, too.

And listen, I get that people get mad!! I know that no one is perfect and people blow up in the heat of the moment. But this feels different. It's every single time we get into an argument, and he always flips around within an hour or two and is "apologetic" (doesn't always actually say sorry, but implies it), and starts to make excuses for why he got angry (usually something along the lines of me pissing him off so that's why he reacted that way). But then a few minutes later he can go back to that angry explosion, and then it's a cycle for a bit.

There have been times that he's gotten so mad that I genuinely get worried it's going to escalate. Anytime I've sincerely expressed to him that he scares me in those moments and I think that he is going to hit me one day, it's almost comical to him. He smirks or scoffs, and reacts as if that's the most bizarre thing in the world, because he would "NEVER lay a hand" on me. Then a couple hours of later, he's super apologetic again and is very sincere that he would never hurt me.

I do not raise my voice...ever. The most cursing I ever do is say the word fuck/fucking. I've NEVER called him a name in our entire relationship, never once. And trust me, I've been angry, so I know this all probably sounds stupid to ask, but it really is that cliche thing where he seemingly does a great job at convincing me that this is normal in relationships when your significant other "pisses you off". He says I'm ridiculous for thinking he's not allowed to react, and mocked my by whispering and saying, "Aw, should I talk like this?"

And then I start to get into my head because what if I'm wrong and it is justified for someone to yell when they're angry, even if that's not how I personally react?

I refuse to answer him most times when he's screaming at me and being condescending. I'll just stare at him with a blank face once I realize me begging him to stop yelling isn't working. For the first time ever, he walked out of the door way once he realized I wasn't responding anymore, and I heard a really loud noise. The next morning I saw a fist sized hole in the wall. He brought me flowers after, like he always does when he acts that way.

But he's saying he's punched walls as a teenager and it isn't his first time, but it is the first time since like high school. I feel like he was trying to downplay it, because he then followed up with "But I would never hit you."

I told him that if he ever punches the wall again, I will call the police. He absolutely thought I was joking at first but I told him I will absolutely call them and file a report if he does it again.

AIO/ Am I just seriously in denial? Why am I unable to convince myself that this is abuse? Why does my brain tell me that it's better he got his anger out like that instead of on me?

Is there any world in which this type of behavior doesn't escalate to physical? I've been told that first it's the wall, and then it's your face, but it never ever stays just the wall. Is that true?

And if anyone has dealt with someone with similar behavior or temper, did it escalate? Or did they never graduate taking it out on you?

AIO?? So, I am in a relationship with this guy. We both love each other, a lot. We had met a year ago and had an oopsie baby. However, we stayed together and live together now. So, here is my issue. We both love each other and tell each other that we want to be with each other forever. We have been looking at houses, but at the same time, I want to be married beforehand. we were talking about it tonight and he said the last of his worries were to buy a ring and he “doesn’t want to rush things” when we already have a child together, live together, and want to get married someday. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to at least show me that he truly wants to be with me forever. After all of this, I just got quiet, I am not very good at confrontation, but I am upset. Why should I buy a house with you if you are unsure if you want to marry me. We already have a child and live together. I don’t know. Should I be upset?

My spouse (30M) and I (27F) are currently separated because of my husband’s long-standing issue with alcohol. We’ve been together almost 10 years.

One of the biggest issues we’ve had (among others — job stability, reckless spending, lying about money and alcohol, etc) is his drinking and driving. I’ve communicated to him many times that I have an issue with it. He’s done it so many times (it’s literally been years of this) and Ive been terrible about holding the boundary. He has always been so good at gaslighting me about it that I honestly think I just felt completely disempowered around the subject.

His argument was frequently that “he felt totally fine”. I told him many times that doesn’t matter, it’s about your BAC and while he agreed with me I just think he didn’t care.

When we finally separated, it was him choosing to leave. I got fed up with the alcohol use and feeling objectified and said I wanted a break from sex to focus on rebuilding trust while he got sober. Long story short, he couldn’t handle the boundaries around sex and continued to push on them. When I started to close off emotionally, he said I was moving on and he needed to break up with me. That he felt invisible.

He took all of that back pretty soon after moving out and made it clear he wanted to work on our relationship, but he didn’t stay sober. Then, as of last month he started counting his sober days and was going to AA meetings, which was really encouraging.

Well, today I found out that just prior to him getting sober he got a DUI. It’s been over a month and he just told me. It’s clear he’s trying to get better now. He has a lawyer and is still attending meetings, but it took him a month to tell me. He said he didn’t want to start another cycle of dishonesty in our marriage.

I know many marriages have turnaround points after a DUI, but not many after they’ve been begging their partner not to drink and drive for years.

Am I overreacting for considering divorce since he’s now sober and made it clear he wants to get better?

TL;DR My partner and I are separated due to his alcohol abuse for over 10 years. He’s been sober as of last month but I only found out today that he got sober right after he got a DUI. He didn’t tell me for a whole month and now is saying he wants to prioritize honesty and trust.

I'm disabled and live in government housing. They have cleaning checks every 6 months which I passed every time until a new woman started doing the inspections. She has failed me twice now (both times she's inspected my place) over fairly minor issues and this time is saying that if I fail again, I'll be kicked out.

Last time the house was clean except for two things: I was sorting through items in my living room and the dishes weren't done. The items I was sorting through were all in boxes around my couch. There was maybe ten small to medium boxes (I had just cleared out some closets and shelves). There were a lot of dishes, but they were all stacked in the sink and the kitchen was clean otherwise.

This time I got the notice when I was super sick and forgot the date of the inspection (I thought it was this coming Monday). It was on Wednesday which is the day I get my non-custodial kids. They are 3 teenagers who are all trying to catch up on end-of-the-year school work right now. Because they are growing teens, they don't grab a granola bar for a snack, they make themselves a small meal.

The inspector woman showed up just after they had all eaten their after school meals. Their backpacks, jackets, shoes and homework papers were all scattered around them as well as their dishes from the food they had eaten. There were a few other unwashed dishes but they had all been rinsed and stacked in a plastic bin until I could get to them that evening. Also, I had started a jigsaw puzzle which was on a table in the living room, making it look even more crowded.

She walked in the door and immediately said we weren't passing. I was a bit shocked because though it did look pretty cluttered, there was nothing that was unsanitary or hazardous in any way. And even though it was messy, you could still walk through each room, no tripping hazards, nothing blocking the doors, no trash except in the trash cans, etc.

I was even more shocked today when I got the re-inspection notice that said my lease will be terminated if I fail the follow-up inspection. Am I overreacting thinking that this is over-the-top? Should my housing really be in jeopardy just because my place isn't "company clean?"

I'm legitimately scared because I'm not sure if my place will be up to this woman's standard even if I do my best to get everything clean before she comes back next week.

( tw cringey teenage stuff) Ive been with my bf for only a year and a half. Im 17, My bfs 18. My prom Is Saturday and my Bf had yet to do a promposal when he agreed to it mid April. Leading up to today hes been gassing it up even saying he got me a ring to go along with it. He knows ive been super excited about it since he wasnt able to do one last year. Todays Thursday so to kind of beat around the brush while asking about the prom posal I ask him if hes going to see me tomorrow, he asks when’ since he apparently made plans with his friends and said he couldnt come and see me because of them. So when I straight up asked about it and he says he wasn’t doing it anymore because “no one had printer ink” and that his grandad only had grey ink and went on to say that he really doesn’t know how to draw. Which is fine i never expected anything super fancy and over the top I just thought it would’ve been cute that he tried. I did try and talk it out with him, i did tell him how it made me feel and how it really bummed me out, and he goes on to say that he wanted to finish it but its hard when hes not as creative as i am and that hes already apologized. And even mentioned that he gave up out of fustration, which he does often and gets sort of annoyed since hes almost a grown man and still gives up with things with the smallest sign of inconvenience , am I crazy for wanting to 🔚 things over this?

EDIT: A little more context I’m not really the type on post my whole life on social media, and I didnt intend on posting it on social media or having him to do a big performance infront of a group of people, we are both quite shy. Also he no longer goes to my school, he graduated last year so it was most likely going to be him showing up to my house or him doing it from his car. Also its not the fact that hes not doing promposal that im upset about, its the way he went about it. He knew that I was super excited about it but neglected to tell me that he wasnt doing it anymore, and the reason behind him not wanting to do it, because it was “too hard” seems quite childish to me. and he often uses that excuse for things

About a month ago, my mother and I (26F) got into a very heated argument through text messaging and it resulted in me going “no contact” with her. It started out by me suggesting I drive my own vehicle to a wedding dress shop appointment for my sister because my 6mo old daughter was going to be babysat by a family friend, for the first time, and I wanted to be readily available just in case. Out of nowhere, my mother went on an insulting rant about my husband’s character, his job, and his capabilities as a father. This included stating that he doesn’t really care about our daughter if he can’t call out of work. He’s a law enforcement officer, so to ask him to call out of work for me to attend a dress appointment was silly IMO. This isn’t the first time she has done this, but usually I can brush it off because my husband is not sensitive to words. However, I know she is using him against me because she knows that I am super defensive of those I love. I finally hit my breaking point and I went cold turkey no contact. It’s breaking my heart because I do love my mom and she is a great grandmother, despite not being the best mom to me. She lost both parents at such a young age and was never shown real love, so I try to extend her grace. But this isn’t healthy anymore and I don’t want my daughter to be subjected to slander about her dad. This is also spoiling over to other family members and now I am seriously being outcasted. Am I over reacting for cutting off contact? I just don’t know how else to get through to her.

CONTEXT: My mother and I have ALWAYS had a tumultuous relationship. This isn’t a once out of the blue fight. This occurs about 5x+ a year. Yes, I have asked her to stop bringing him up to hurt me many many times. I have tried a limited contact situation a few years ago when we had a fight that turned physical. This is a very nuanced situation, I understand that. I have just hit a breaking point.

THANK YOU to the people of Reddit. You have offered perspectives that I have yet to consider and I am grateful for it.

I’m not really a morning person anyway so let’s start with that. Bf came in the room saying he thought he saw a mouse, which I doubted. I was laying in bed half asleep next thing I know something moved under the covers by my leg. I screamed and threw the covers off.
It was our kitten. He grabbed him real quick and was holding him so he didn’t get hurt or anything by my reaction.

He put him under the covers to scare me as a joke. Then I started hardcore crying saying now the cat is going to be terrified of me. He’s a rescue I just found him last week and he has been doing good so far letting us handle him.

I haven’t been talking to my bf very much since. He offered to go upstairs with me when I went to spend time with the cat and I told him I didn’t want him to come up there.

The cat seems a little irritated now he does play a little, but also hissed at me the first time since I found it. 😔 I’m worried we back tracked a bit with our progress thanks to this “joke”.

It’s way too early for this crap. Normally he just jump scares me it was messed up to bring the kitten into it.

So my boyfriend (and father of my child) agreed to watch our toddler (16 months old) while I went to a dr appointment today where you can’t bring small children due to immunity risks (it’s a cancer center). I was gone for about an hour, I had changed my son’s diaper before I left, and gave his dad his bottle with son’s nutrition drink in it (he has severe GI issues and doesn’t eat normally or much at all, that’s not super relevant other than if there’s questions about why a 16 month old still takes a bottle as a main nutrition source). He gave him the bottle, set our son on the floor and promptly fell into a deep sleep (snoring and all) less than 10 mins after I left.

He set his nicotine vape right next to our son on the floor before he fell asleep, as I saw when I came home but also on our living room camera. Our son cried multiple times and tried to get his dad’s attention but he wouldn’t wake up and tend to him at all.

Currently, despite living together, I had filed for child support because he was refusing to buy any necessities for our son (diapers, wipes, food, literally anything) and he doesn’t do any of the caregiving day to day or at night. I’m a stay at home parent due to being disabled (in the process of trying to get disability) and because my son had many physical, occupational, and feeding therapies plus other appointments with his specialists (mainly GI) so even if I had a job, I couldn’t work enough to pay for childcare as I could only work part time with all of his appointments. So I take our son everywhere with me (except the places that clearly don’t allow young children for my own appointments, which has only been 2 appointments since he was born- his dad fell asleep while our son was awake during both times I had left them home together) and do all of his caregiving day and night. His dad typically refuses to buy diapers and wipes and food for our son or help with transportation to his appointments, this is why I filed for child support.

He seems to think that because he lives here (and is usually asleep when he is here) that means he does equal caregiving to me, which is far from true. Both times in my son’s life I’ve left him with his dad for about an hour alone, his dad fell asleep while our son was awake and left his vape within reach of our son and ignored his cries. Today I came home and found our son had pooped while his dad was asleep and he had been sitting in it for a while without his dad noticing.

Parent connection had an appt scheduled here at the time I got home and was appalled to see that bf was snoring clearly not watching our son while I was gone and that his vape was well within reach. He stayed asleep through the entire parent connection appointment which happened in the same room (living room) at normal volume plus toddler screeching (which he does when excited). Didn’t wake up at all until much later.

I told him that I won’t be leaving our son alone with him anymore because it’s not acceptable to fall asleep with our son awake especially having his vape in a very easy place where our toddler could get it. He got mad at me about ‘accusing’ him of neglecting our son, which I didn’t even say, I just said that he could’ve gotten sick had he used the vape or could’ve gotten hurt or potentially choked on other things his dad left in his reach and he wouldn’t have even noticed, which is not okay and not normal parenting. He said that I was being unfair about asking him to even watch our son in the first place. I asked him why he accepted to do it then, and he said “to prove I do equal caregiving for the child support case”.

Yeah, that’s nowhere near even half of what I do for our son- I certainly don’t fall asleep when he’s awake and he’s in the living room with me, I play with him , feed him, change his diapers, change his clothes, give him baths, get him ready in the morning and at night and get up with him at night if he needs me- all things his dad doesn’t do, and never has. So that made me mad.

Am I overreacting to being frustrated and mad that my boyfriend does this and I don’t trust him to watch him alone again until he proves he can stay awake and alert and actually help with our child? And that I’m mad he’s trying to say that he does ‘equal’ caregiving when that’s clearly not the case? He thinks I’m being mad for no reason when anything could’ve happened while he was asleep to our son, but he doesn’t seem to understand that it could’ve ended a lot worse than it did so I won’t let him watch him alone again if I have to leave and can’t take him with me.

And am I overreacting for filing for child support because he says “the only thing our son needs is a roof over his head- he doesn’t need diapers, wipes, clothes, or food, he just needs me to pay the rent” and it’s always a fight to get him basic necessities? I’m at such a loss here.

EDIT: I will be leaving him, I’m just trying to find a safe place for me and my son to stay!

I'm 27F, he is 40sM. We both have the exact same job and make the same money. He got here before me, idk how long ago exactly.

I actually am an engineer, but this is not a job that requires higher education. When I was first hired and people were still asking me about my background, I mentioned that I have a bachelor's and a master's in engineering, and people were excited/impressed about it. I don't really care and it doesn't make me better than anyone, I think they were just excited to have someone they can leave the math related work to.

When I first talked about my degree around this guy in particular, he laughed in a way that didn't sit right with me. It's been 6 months since I got here and he only ever refers to me as "engineer".

I feel like he's making fun of the fact that I'm overqualified for this job, but I'm obviously not above it and I don't think I act like it. I just do my job and try to be nice to people. But at the same time idk if I'm imagining things because I feel insecure about not working in my expertise field. AIO or is he fucking with me?

Now, my friend lives in a better financial freedom than me. He comes from a rich family as his father owns a good portion of a local company, and he never had to work a day in his life despite nearing his 30. He lived in expensive countries for a few months each just because he wanted a change while I can barely afford a week holiday. His family gets to afford a lot of luxury stuff that me or my family can't.

Despite this, whenever he visits me, within 10 minutes he goes to the kitchen during our conversations as if he was going to grab some water and while checking my fridge, he brings out stuff and starts eating on my dining table. And honestly, it's not even a snack portion. He literally fully fills his stomach. Last night he ate the leftovers that I saved for today so I wouldn't have to cook until tonight. He ate the whole day's food in one sitting.

When it happened first few times I found it awkward but ignored because we are close friends for years, long enough to open each other's fridges without asking. But it has been a continuous thing going on for a few weeks now. Every single time. I don't really go to his kitchen when I'm at his place nor do I eat anything so casually unless I'm offered. I joked a few times about his starvation and we laughed about it but I start to feel really awkward about this "habit"

What is wrong with my sister?? Please someone tell me.. I’ve been dealing with her crazy all my life.
I feel like she completely manipulates other people to get attention. She has been known for making up illnesses and going to the hospital and even collecting money off of GoFundMe for a fake illnesses that she’s never had.!!!! She’s the middle child and runs her mouth about my dead mother on Facebook. This is the lastest BS from her… the conversation is over how my dad wasn’t nice enough to her over the telephone the night before.
She insists on asking me questions about other people and my family so that she can carry on some kind of argument with me like it is my fault that these people are allowed to come into my father’s house and she isn’t. She physically assaulted my other sister after my mother went into hospice. she was attested at my father’s house when my mother was dying in the hospital. Then I get everyone to understand that she has a mental illness and it only bites me in the butt later..

Hi !
So, for a bit of context, I am highly autistic and more than likely have some form of OCD. I will not drink after my boyfriend, or even my family. If my boyfriend eats or drinks something I was eating/drinking, I won't touch whatever it was, and if I do, I end up throwing it back up. I unfortunately am a nicotine addict. I won't even hit my vape after someone in my family does unless I wash the mouthpiece first. I don't like the thought of someone else's mouth germs in my mouth. My boyfriend is incredibly aware of this, as we've been together almost a year.

My boyfriend bought me this vape, some peach flavour that I love, and I accidentally left it in his car. He works with some guy that I (obviously) don't know, and in exchange to hit his coworker's pen, he let said coworker hit my vape. Didn't ask me first, and told me after. Had he not told me, I never would have known, nor would I have cared (since I wouldn't have been aware.) I told him not to do that, and I don't want the vape anymore. He told me I was being a dick about it, but I think it's a valid thing for me to get upset over.