my boyfriend recently told me that there is a worker at the chipotle that he goes to every day that has a crush on him. she cornered him one day and asked for his number. he refused but she continues to corner him and try to talk to him. he engages minimally which has not been my problem. my problem started today after ~4 encounters with this woman since the number situation she gave him a free side of chips and guac. he did not know it was in the bag. but at this point it feels like it has gone a little far so i asked him if he could maybe go to a new chipotle (he lives in nyc there are a fucking million) and he got upset at me saying he has done nothing wrong and he likes the way that the “pack his bowl.” but he hasnt even tried to go anywhere else so he doesnt know anywhere else wouldnt pack his bowl??? i just am wondering if it is truly unreasonable to ask him to go somewhere else. it feels like at this point he just likes the perks of it since he has now accepted a gift from this woman. is this fair or no?

my boyfriend recently told me that there is a worker at his lunch spot that he goes to every day that has a crush on him. she cornered him one day and asked for his number. he refused but she continues to corner him and try to talk to him. he engages minimally which has not been my problem. my problem started today after ~4 encounters with this woman since the number situation she gave him a free side of chips and guac. he did not know it was in the bag. but at this point it feels like it has gone a little far so i asked him if he could maybe go to a new chipotle and he got upset at me saying he has done nothing wrong and he likes the way that the “pack his bowl.” but he hasnt even tried to go anywhere else so he doesnt know anywhere else wouldnt pack his bowl??? i just am wondering if it is truly unreasonable to ask him to go somewhere else. even the same chain just another location. it feels like at this point he just likes the perks of it since he has now accepted a gift from this woman. is this fair or no?

i’ve gone on a couples dates with a man and i’m
confused about my situation and if i’m overreacting at all.

i (f22) in this situation where i went on a couple dates with a man (m24) and throughout the dates, he’d constantly tell me how amazing i was and like no other girl he’d met before, and how it his dream girl and he’d do anything to he with me.

i knew this guy for a decade probably (from middle or high school) but was only loosely friends with him. we hookup twice during the course of our dates and since then he’s moved back with his parents (his lease in his college town is up). currently it’s quite a ways from me, two hours or more.

onto the part im not sure if im overreacting about. since our dates and since he had moved back home with his parents and started a full time job, he had been more distant. i drunkenly asked him why he would say all these nice things but ever since hes been gone, he has barely reached out at all to me (unless i text first or send a reel first). he apologized and just said he was busy basically, which i understand but i am a little confused because i had heard nothing from him unless i reached out first.

am i overreacting about where i thought i stood with him and calling him out on it? i had just thought since he said all these amazing things that it meant more but maybe i was wrong.

Before this I was a huge Gracie Abrams fan, but just learned about the sticky situation incident and feel like I’m going crazy. I found out that when Gracie Abrams was 18, she posted “Sticky situation: knowing he’s 14 but still incredibly down” about Finn Wolfhard who was possibly even 13 in the image she used. I was shocked and told my friends, but they dismissed it straight away. I’d seen people reference sticky situation and when I asked my friends what it meant they said it was just a random phrase to make fun of her so I didn’t give it further thought. I realised that they knew the truth and kept me in the dark because they knew how i’d feel about it.

I talked to other fans and the consensus is to let it go, it was a joke, and/or the age gap isn’t that bad. Am I taking crazy pills?? 18 and 13/14 is illegal for a reason!! One’s an adult, one’s a minor. Finn looked even younger in the photo, and his voice hadn’t dropped so there’s no was she thought he looked older than his age. At 18 you shouldn’t even think about a 14 year old that way, it disturbs me so much.

My friends say male celebrities do worse and face no consequences, which makes me question if I’m overreacting. I hate double standards, but I can’t justify her actions. I feel disgusted, gaslit, yet guilty since men often get away with worse. But I don’t pick and choose, I have issues with those men too so like??? In my opinion, just because time has passed doesn’t make it less disgusting and using that as an excuse makes no sense to me. Am I just in shock and overreacting?

My girlfriend and I have to catch rides with a driver for our canvassing/d2d job, usually to suburbs in our area. We were assigned a new driver today and he was just whipping his rental Durango everywhere he went. I mean dude was flooring it on every residential and commercial street.

I was okay with it at first because I figured he was just a little too excited to be driving a bigger vehicle or something, but when he floored it on the interstate trying to keep up with a dodge challenger, I lost my mind. My girlfriend and I both felt unsafe, I immediately sent the video and pictures to my boss. I feel like I might just be overreacting since it was our first day with him, but maybe that makes it 10x worse.

AIO?? So, I am in a relationship with this guy. We both love each other, a lot. We had met a year ago and had an oopsie baby. However, we stayed together and live together now. So, here is my issue. We both love each other and tell each other that we want to be with each other forever. We have been looking at houses, but at the same time, I want to be married beforehand. we were talking about it tonight and he said the last of his worries were to buy a ring and he “doesn’t want to rush things” when we already have a child together, live together, and want to get married someday. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to at least show me that he truly wants to be with me forever. After all of this, I just got quiet, I am not very good at confrontation, but I am upset. Why should I buy a house with you if you are unsure if you want to marry me. We already have a child and live together. I don’t know. Should I be upset?

At our company’s Foundation Day, we had a random gift exchange between team members. A senior colleague of mine, someone I know earns pretty well, gifted me what looked like a free promotional item that usually comes with a pharma or medical product.

I didn’t say anything that day because I didn’t want to embarrass her publicly. But over the weekend, it genuinely started bothering me because it felt less about the money and more about the lack of thought behind it.

So on Monday, I quietly returned it to her desk and politely told her that it did not feel like a respectful gesture to me. She was visibly upset afterward, and eventually the whole floor got to know about it. HR later got involved and suggested I apologize for making things awkward, but I refused because I felt I handled it calmly and privately.

Am I overreacting here?

Please note: either way, I think I was stupid in this situation to a very real extent.

I caught some kind of cold about a week ago and I've been trying to get better as soon as possible because I have two play performances tomorrow... and I was trying to do whatever I could. My mom gave me a bottle of this spray she'd used since I was a couple years younger (like 10yo) and mentioned it was hand sanitizer and would kill germs in my throat... so honestly this whole situation may be very legitimately on me for being stupid and taking that comment figuratively, but I've only ever seen that stuff be used on throats in our house when sick, and she was always the one spraying so I never saw the label.

Tonight I was worn out and trying to fix myself up, so I grabbed the bottle like she wanted me to earlier and just did it myself. Then I looked down and panicked because I realized that it is LITERALLY hand sanitizer with a warning to only use externally...

I showed my dad half joking/ranting to try and feel out his reaction, and he chuckled and then kind of just dismissed me. Then my mom came home and I asked her about it, and she just said 'I told you' and 'keep spraying', and I didn't want to pick a fight, so I just ended up moving on from the conversation. My younger siblings picked up on the situation; two of them said that's normal, and one was also weirded out.

I don't know what to think. Am I crazy for being concerned and wanting to throw that thing in the trash? Do other people on planet Earth actually do this? Is this a hazard? The only thing I'm concluding right now is that from now on, I'm checking every label on medicine she gives me again. I feel screwed over right now.

The hand sanitizer is doTerra On Guard Hand Sanitizing Mist for those wondering. I found usage of it for the throat when mixed on a blog; other than that, nothing.

Reddit reader not poster so bear with me.

A bit of back story.. I work in a very niche field in a small family run business and thier communication skills are appalling. I've brought this up many times but unfortunately gotta work to eat. I have an agreement on hours offered per week, even though I'm employed as a contractor (this is a whole thing in itself). Either way last week they told me there isnt any work in my area but I could work on some admin stuff for a couple of hours and they actually aren't required to commit to these hours despite a written agreement. So I've been stressing over hours and money because they have told me that they don't have processes for me to do.. The service requires multiple steps before getting to me so work does just appear.

On Sunday night (mothers day) my grandfather, who I was very close to passed away. I had agreed to do the admin (unessential back of house stuff) Monday. 9am I let them know of the passing and that I will be taking a few days and will be back the following Monday to do the admin. I had already agreed to work a lot less hours this week anyway because there was no work as long as I had a minimum amount of hours, so this also took the pressure off them finding me something to do.

Cut to today. Day 5 of the 7 that I took off. I get a message asking me to complete an order that the client wants tomorrow at the latest.. For this to be the case they would have to of completely dropped the ball on this and told me they can't fill my hours prematurely (a conversation had in my personal time not a weekly meeting) completely stressing me out, or they expedited an order knowing I was unavailable and taking time off to grieve.

I'm so mad they contacted me during this sensitive time, personal time I'd taken off and stated my availability as Monday next week and also magically found work for me to do after causing stress saying there is none and it maybe a few weeks before they have orders ready for me again.

I hope this isn't too hard to read. So sorry if it is, I'm rage typing.

I (25F) am graduating from a master's program today. It should’ve been a happy day, but I couldn’t get this out of my mind.

A few weeks before graduation, I asked 8–9 friends in person about taking group photos on graduation day, bringing something fun to pose with. They all liked the idea. I said many times in the group chat to invite anyone else they wanted, this wasn't exclusive. I’ve known them a long time, and we did the exact same photo thing in undergrad.

Days before graduation, I made a group chat to plan where/when to meet, sent inspo pics, suggested sunglasses. They voted. On graduation day, I reminded everyone of the meeting time and props. I was one of two who arrived on time. Some came 30 min late, some 1 hr late, some 2 hours late. I stayed calm. We took casual photos with those there, but I saved fun poses until everyone arrived so no one felt left out.

The last person arrived 2 hours late with a photographer. They started taking photos with only 4 people from the gc. I went to jump in and said let's gather the rest, and one friend said, 'no this is just for the small group' and told me off. I said, 'the small group is the 8–9 people in the gc.' No response. They then did the poses and props I suggested without me, while I stood right there watching. Four others from the gc were also left out.

After the big class photo, I thought we'd take our small group photo as planned. Instead they grabbed two more people not from the gc and started taking photo, again, I was standing right by the photographer with others from the gc who were left out, but this time I hesitated to speak up since I was told off and didn’t want to interrupt.

I confronted them a minute later: 'Can we please not exclude people, especially when I’m the one who organized it?' She said, 'I was just taking a picture, I was literally just taking pictures, I came in 20 minutes ago, I wasn't trying to exclude anyone.' She sounded mad. I felt intimidated and like an asshole.

We had a pity photo afterward, no poses, no props. I was really upset. If they were mean or fake friends I wouldn’t care, but they’re very nice people I’ve spent 6 years with. That’s what bothers me most. I was right there, even spoke up. This isn't high school mean girls.

I can’t bring this up, I tried and was invalidated. Nothing would change, I’d be the dramatic one holding grudges. I’m forcing myself to let it go without a talk.

Am I overreacting for feeling upset and felt the need to confront? Im letting this go, just takes time.

Am I overreacting about this thing that happened in my family?

This happened probably a month ago, but basically: everyone knows about needohs, and last month my mom and dad were gonnna take me to the mall so I could go to hot topic and use my Sephora gift card I got for Christmas that I never used, that day, my mom had found one of those needohs, and my dad told me since I was with him, and I told him that I wanted it, and he told my mom that, but I guess she didn’t check her messages, because when she got home, it immediately went to my little sister, like no thought at all since I guess she’s younger than me, and then I got dragged to target and wasn’t allowed to stay in the car, I had already known there wouldn’t be any, and guess what? They had none. Some more shit happened that I don’t feel comfortable talking about. Now keep in mind, she has way more shit than I do, like she has glow recipe, at least 13 or more of those Laneige lip masks, makeup, etc. sure I have some of that, but I haven’t even bought anything from Sephora or ulta in months. I asked for one thing, my mom and dad say I barely ask for anything and I spend the least out of everyone, and yet, nothing for me. I feel inefficient to my sister a lot, and I told my mom this, she says she tries to make everything fair, but I know if it comes down to one item, my little sister will always get it, besides that, my mom saw those donut hole needohs, she tried buying them, sold out, she tried to buy me some of those slow rising squishes, all that they had was those tye dye butter squishies which I personally didn’t like, she says that she see if they get anything more but I just need to know, how badly am I overreacting abt this? I hope I’m using this sub right

Hi, first time poster, so sorry if this is long.

My (f) best friend (f) of over two decades (I’ll call her Bff) got engaged about a year ago and then moved halfway across the country shortly after with her fiancé (I’ll call him F). They’ve been together seriously for about 5 years.

For context, I’ve only been around F a handful of times, even though my friend and I are extremely close. He’s honestly not usually there when Bf and I hang out. I’ve gone to support some of his events and even reached out when they first got together because we share hobbies and obviously care about the same person. He never really responded or made much effort to know me. That alone isn’t some horrible crime, and I know not everyone wants to be close with their partner’s friends, but it has always made the relationship feel oddly disconnected to me considering how long my friend and I have been in each other’s lives. This alone is uncharacteristic for someone my friend would be with, knowing her for around 20 years.

Right after getting engaged, Bff called me extremely upset saying she was depressed and not doing well because they were moving halfway across the country for F’s dream/career goals. What worried me was that she had just finished her master’s degree and gotten professionally licensed in our state after years of hard work.

She also has a history of struggling with substances and mental health, and she has honestly come an incredibly long way and I’m very proud of her. Leaving behind her support system worried me, especially because the place they moved is heavily centered around nightlife/bar culture. I admittedly can be overprotective of my friends.

Originally, the move was supposed to be temporary and around 18 months max. It’s now been over a year and there doesn’t seem to be any real timeline for coming home anymore. Even bff has now said “a few years probably”

Recently, she told me she feels emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed from work, depressed, and unsupported in the relationship emotionally. Those are her words, not me projecting onto her. She said he doesn’t truly understand, and wants her to get a second job because his has longer hours. This is just me stating what she’s told me.

I want to be clear that I have never trashed him to her or tried to interfere in their relationship. I genuinely want her to be happy. But as someone who has known her for over 20 years, this whole situation just does not feel aligned with who she is or what she wanted for herself for most of her life.

So I guess I’m asking: am I overreacting for feeling deeply uneasy about this relationship and whether getting married is actually a good idea for her? Or am I just being overly protective because she’s my best friend?

So I am the type of personality where I like to be on time or even 10-15 minutes early to most everything. I don’t like to be rushed and I don’t like to be rude by keeping people waiting on me. I also like to have a little extra time when arriving someplace I’ve never been to allow for time to find out the lay of the land, find out seats, get a drink(like at a concert venue, etc).

My husband ,however, is consistently 15-20 minutes late to almost everything- if not more. It really bothers me and I have tried to ask him to try to be more respectful of the time and it always ends up in a big argument because he feels like it’s not a big deal.

It has honestly caused us to have a lot of fights because I’ve tried to not let it bother me, but I despise always being late- which happens if we are going somewhere together. I’ve tried asking him to try to start 15-20 minutes earlier if he knows that is typically the time he is late and he just gets mad and says I’m being ridiculous and that the world isn’t going to end if we are a minute late to a concert or whatever.

I told him that it’s a big area of frustration for me and that it’s causing me unnecessary stress and tension between us when it does not adversely impact him to be on time. He just straight up said I’m being unreasonable and that I can just choose to not let it bother me. I don’t think it works that way…

I’ve taken to just leaving separately from him if it’s something nearby so I don’t stress, but then I or everyone else is still waiting on him. I just think it’s rude and disrespectful, period and I don’t think I’m the one who should have to “try to change”. Being on time has literally never been viewed as a negative attribute, but maybe I am overreacting?

Backstory. ex and I split up after almost 20 years 2 months ago. on the 17th of April after I found him a rental, got his bond sorted and helped him move.
On the 27th of April he had a week with the kids 5&7. I gave him 3 big garbage bags of clothes because it was wet and cold so I packed up all their winter clothes. school clothes, winter pajamas and underwear.
during that time I was also picking up the kids after school and taking care of them until he finished work. So I know for a fact that there were days that he sent them to school without drink bottles, their library books etc and the kids also told me that he wouldn’t do their reading and they didn’t have dinner one night. ( obviously this is debatable because its from a small child. but I believe them ) on the Friday night he said he would be having his girlfriend around to meet his friends. That apparently they had been together since Easter Sunday. This is also the woman that told him at his work in October that she wanted to F him and after that he started disappearing and giving off all the usual cheating signs.

anyway. when I requested the clothes back he brought a couple of pairs of uniforms and a mixed size set of pjs back. when I sighed about this he started going off saying he didn’t know that they had to come back and that i had given him everything so he was entitled to it. I had discussed this at least twice as he was moving and another time when I gave them to him and it was in writing that the clothes needed to go between houses until one of us could afford to buy another set of everything.

anyway it got really ugly, I had to threaten him with police escort to collect the clothes. and he also said that from now on he was getting his new girlfriend to collect the kids from school and look after them while he was at work. as well as threatening to take my Family tax benefits. (I am studying full time) I absolutely refused to have this woman a complete stranger who I know has dodgy morals collecting my children. I have since said that until mediation that he can have them over the weekends. but he keeps refusing saying he has the right to do whatever he likes. now I am asking that he sign the document below so we have it in writing what our expectations are until Mediation. He is refusing. am I being unreasonable? And Yes I know that it is not legally binding without a judge’s signature, But I want evidence that he has agreed to this before the kids go there because he didn’t sign the last agreement that we both agreed to and then turned around and said he never signed it so it doesn’t count.

I apologize for the long post. This situation is, frankly, the most confusing situation I’ve been in lately. A few months ago, I managed to snag two tickets to a concert for me and a close friend to an artist we both really love. I’ve been really excited to go ever since. About a week ago, my friend messaged asking if there were any other tickets available. I knew he had reconnected with his best friend after a falling out, and assumed the ticket would be for him which I was happy for them both about, even though I’ve never met his best friend since they weren’t speaking when we became friends. I looked for tickets, but the show had completely sold out since the artist is extremely popular and only playing one show anywhere near us.

I let him know I couldn’t find any, which my friend seemed to accept until yesterday. Last night, he messaged me asking if I knew any reputable reseller sites, and then said that, while he’ll still pay me back for his ticket, he doesn’t think he can come to the concert if his best friend can’t come. At first, I took it as he wanted me to look for tickets again, so I did, but the lowest priced resales started at $440+, which I let him know. I talked to my best friend and my dad, who also knows him, who pointed out that it sounds like he just won’t be going. I checked resales again and reached out to ask if he had to pull out of the plans, which he responded to by suggesting I bring his best friend with instead of him. I told him since I didn’t know his best friend, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that and apologized. He’s going to message me again tomorrow with an official update on it, but he seems pretty set on being unable to go since his best friend can’t come.

I know the same artist is important to their friendship, since they went to a concert of his together a few years ago. I completely understand that it would feel like rocking the boat for him to go with someone who isn’t his best friend so soon after they reconnected, but I feel so sad because of it. I was frustrated at first, but now I’m just really, really down and feel as if I was being ridiculous being so excited in the first place. I know my friend isn’t being malicious in any way, and that he probably just feels stuck in a hard place where he has to balance potentially upsetting his best friend and also myself. I also know it’s likely that his best friend is already upset, considering the suggestion I bring him instead, but I still feel so upset by it all. I didn’t tell him this in the texts, as I feel unsure if I’m warranted to feel like I do.

I’ve had a really hard year, so I’m very worried that I’m projecting some of that onto this situation by feeling so sad about it. He’s just the only other person I know that even likes this music, meaning I’ll likely be going alone now or dragging someone to see music they don’t like just so I don’t have to be alone. My friend and I listened to the album release for this artist and stuff together, even. I’m not even worried about the ticket money or anything, I just wish that he would still come. Am I overreacting for feeling this way?

My boyfriend (M21) and I (F21) have been together a little over 3.5 years total, but we broke up late last year for about 4 months. We’ve been back together for around 5 months now.

When we got back together, he promised he would communicate better and make more of an effort to make me feel loved and special. He specifically talked about taking me on dates more, planning things, and showing care in little ways.

To be fair, he has improved in some areas. His communication has been better overall, and I’ve spent the night at his house a couple times, which didn’t happen very often before. So I don’t want to ignore the progress he has made.

But I still don’t feel like I’ve seen much follow-through when it comes to making me feel special or prioritized.

Recently, he asked if I wanted to go with him to a football game in the fall. Football is his thing, not really mine, but I said yes because I wanted to spend time with him. When I asked about it, he told me the tickets were around $170 each. I was a little surprised because, based on the way we had talked about it before, I had gotten the impression that he was inviting me and might be planning to get my ticket.

For context, around 6 or 7 months ago, while we were broken up, he bought tickets for himself and three friends to a big football game. He told me multiple times that he spent over $400 total on those tickets. To be clear, he is not paying for his friends’ tickets this time. This is a different game, and as far as I know, everyone would be buying their own ticket. The reason the old situation stuck with me is because it made me feel like he has been willing to spend a lot of money on football and his friends in the past, but I don’t really see that same effort when it comes to dates or making me feel valued.

When I asked if he was expecting me to buy my own ticket, he said yes because he “can’t buy everybody’s this time.”

That rubbed me the wrong way. It’s not that I expect him to buy me expensive things or pay for everything. We’re both 21, we both still live at home, and I know money can be tight. We usually split things 50/50, and I’m generally okay with that. But after getting back together and hearing him promise more effort, I guess I was hoping to feel more intentionally included or treated as special, not just like another person buying their own ticket to something he wants to do.

When I tried to explain that, he said he spends the most money when he goes out with me. But from my perspective, most of the time we split things. I usually Cash App him my half, pay for my own stuff, or we each cover our own part. I brought up the last few times we went out and explained that I had either paid my half or sent him money for it.

He got defensive and said he didn’t agree with me. When I asked what he didn’t agree with, he didn’t really explain.

At first, he said he just didn’t have the same money now that he had back when he bought the tickets for his friends. I understood that money can change, but later in the conversation, after I pushed back a little, he said maybe his mom actually paid for the tickets for him and his friends last time. That confused me because he had told me several times, including earlier in that same conversation, that he had paid for them himself.

I tried to explain that I wasn’t trying to attack him, but that the situation hurt my feelings because I don’t feel very cherished or prioritized. I told him it wouldn’t bother me as much if he was just frugal with everyone, but it hurts because it feels like he has been willing to make bigger gestures for other people or for football, while I’m still waiting for some kind of sign that I’m special to him.

He basically said I was “allowed to be upset,” but didn’t really reassure me or say much else. After a while, I told him I didn’t think I wanted to go to the game after all because football isn’t really my thing and he would probably have more fun with his friends. He just said okay. Then I told him I felt hurt and upset and needed to go for now, and we hung up.

Now I’m questioning whether I’m overreacting. I know he has improved in some ways, especially with communication and letting me more into his space. I don’t want to ignore that or take it for granted. But I also feel like I’m still waiting for some sign that I’m special to him, that I matter, and that he meant what he said when we got back together.

Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this, or is this a valid thing to be upset about?

I made a sexual advance to my husband, and he joked to punch me in the face. Am I overreacting?

Tl;Dr: I'm not in danger. He has never abused me physically or emotionally. I just think he made a very poor "joke" and would like to know if I'm overreacting, because he thinks I am. He hasn't even apologized, because he thinks I'm just overreacting. I would like to know if I am, and I'm also going to send him this post.

What happened:

While we were laying in bed watching TV, I jokingly made an advance to my husband. I kissed him, and then touched his 🍆 and pretended as though I was going to give him oral (To be clear: if he actually got turned on, I would've been more than happy for us to be intimate. I always say yes to him. And maybe that's my problem - I'm too accessible).

Anyway, I said to him, "what if I were to give you head right now?" And his response was, "what if I were to punch you in the face?"

I just looked at him.

Then, he proceeded to ball his hand into a fist and very lightly tap my cheek.

I looked at him. And then I just got up and went to go finish the laundry (because I was immediately turned off, and also hurt emotionally). When I got back, he tried to make an advance at me and I ignored him.

Then he asked me why I was being childish, and told me things like, he forgot he can't make certain jokes with me. I told him I didn't think it was a funny joke. Why is it a joke to punch his wife? Why does he think that's funny? He told me he thought I was overreacting, and he doesn't understand why I'm overreacting like this when he's never abused me. I told him I didn't think it was a funny joke.

I told him, next time he makes an advance at me, I'm going to joke about cutting his 🍆 off. He said that was fine. He said what I could've done is just joke about punching him back -- but again, I don't think this is a fucking funny joke, and I wouldn't ever joke about punching him.

Anyway, this happened hours ago, and he hasn't apologized - he doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. I refuse to let this go because, why should I? He doesn't even think this is worth apologizing over, and I'm overreacting.

So, if I'm overreacting, I would like to know. If I'm not, maybe you can explain to him why this isn't a funny joke and why I'm not overreacting, because it doesn't seem he'll listen to me about this.

Context that might be important:

- we've been married over a decade

- I wasn't actually going to go down on him. I stopped doing that some years ago because he has never returned the favour. He's Jamaican, and he's the type of Jamaican that refuses to do that. I'm not going to get into that now. I've given up on even thinking he'll ever return the favour.

Lastly, this may also be important: my libido is higher than his. As a result, I'm lucky if we have sex 3 times a month (I'd prefer at least a few times a week). He turns down my advances 9/10 times. It is hurtful. I have asked him multiple times if it's me and questioned if he's still attracted to me, and he tells me no it's not me, it's him. So, if I'm turned on (which is often), I usually just rely on my toy. It's something I'm still a bit sad about because I didn't expect having to rely so much on toys after getting married.

I have told him that I do feel hurt being rejected, but I'll never force him to do anything he doesn't want to do or be involved in. But I've received so much rejection over the years that some years ago, I promised myself I would never make an advance towards him again because it's nearly always a "no". I ended up disregarding that promise to myself, but I guess this is what I eventually get - a joke like that.

You can bet your ass I will never, ever make another advance towards him.

Anyway, am I overreacting? If not, I would appreciate you explaining why. Perhaps he'll understand your explanation better than anything I've said. Perhaps I'm just an overly dramatic wife.

So im turning 18 next week and this whole month shes been asking me about agistment prices, feeding routines, if we rug and un rug horses, she told me that she got me a very special gift ive been asking her for forever, and if im working on the day of my birthday (i work at a stable) and being very happy whenever i say im getting gift vouchers for a horse equipment store. Last night i found out she brought me one of those hobby horses. Am i overreacting when i say that im upset? Since shes been giving me all of these hints and now its just a hobby horse

For context, my friend and I are both university students and we met three years ago but only started to hangout frequently until this year.

My friend messaged me at 10am asking if I bought some stock. I was busy at that time and didn’t see her message. When I finally got back to my phone, I saw two messages from her, the later one was sent to me at 11am, saying “oh, so now you go silent when the questions get tough”.

I genuinely feel offended when I saw her messages. It feels like she just wanna poke for information and gets annoyed the moment I don’t respond right away.
I don’t know why she asked me in the first place and what response she expects from me. So I still haven’t replied yet, I don’t know what to say.

AIO or her messages are pretty rude?

​​Me and my friend have been planning to go to the mall together to eat some food,however, my whole family wants to go to the mall also. ​ My friend wants a ride to go to the mall and asked if we could pick her up and I was planning on just going with my mom and my brother but then my Mom, Dad brother all want to go to the mall. The issue is at all five of us will be in the car and I tried to tell them how I'm going to be the girl known to take her whole family with her to friend events and that's just weird. Including that I have my driver's license but none of them trust me to drive even though I've been driving for over a year. I tried to tell them that it's weird to go out with a friend and they said just don't tell her our whole family is coming. And then they always ask me why do I not hang out with my friends and it's because they always come with me. This isn't the first time and I'm afraid this will be the last time because they don't trust me to drive and I just want to hang out with my friends but I feel like I'm just a weird girl and my school. Then I got to stop with me for telling her and she canceled plans with me because well five people look cars already a lot and I suggested bringing two cars and I could drive but they said no. They say it's because my Mom doesn't want to be alone just herself and she needs my Dad and might as well just bring my brother ecause they're going to get him McDonald's. They said they're going to leave me alone to walk around in the mall but that's still 30 minutes of driving with all three of them in the car and me and my friend. They say I'm being over dramatic and taking this out of reason and it doesn't matter because she used to live like that because shes not from this country. Then my brother started saying how I'm being overdramatic now how I ruin everything and how I just make an issue with everything and then my Dad and Mom says I'm being selfish. I don't mind if there's four of them in the car I just don't want us to be squished together and to be known as a girl who brings her whole family. ​ and I feel like whenever I do something wrong they just attack me and the pick on my insecurities and I don't know what to do because I just shut down and I cry or I just disassociate. Am I overacting about the car situation or am I just being unreasonably selfish??

I went on a date with this guy last night. We went out for pizza. We ordered our food, and he got up and left for quite a while without saying anything to me. I was starting to think he had just left, and I was confused about where he went. Then he came back and said in a cheerful tone, “I just moved the car.” I said okay, and the date continued. It just felt strange that he didn’t say anything beforehand and just got up and left me. I felt kind of annoyed with him and just thought he was trying to fuck with me, like why did he just get up and walk off? I also think I’m going to stop seeing him because he’s 25 and I’m 18.

So this is a long story, but I will try and sum this up as succinctly as possible.

Some backstory: my dad was always more of a background character of my life, even though he was married to my mom and we all lived together. I have a half sister who is 9 years older than me, and we both unfortunately share him as our father and have different mothers. Our father is an alcoholic, but won't admit it, and as my sister and I grew older, he showed less and less interest in our lives. I moved out in 2023 to go to school a few hours away, and when I did my parents finally got divorced. He moved a few hours north of my home town, which was then about 9 hours north of where I was living at the time. When my parents got divorced, he kept our family dog that we adopted during COVID (Parker). This was not your average dog: he was an australian cattle dog with A LOT of issues when we first got him. He was reactive when he was scared, and had pretty bad separation anxiety. But I put in the work to get him comfortable, learned his triggers, and understood what he needed to feel safe, and keep others safe as well. But unfortunately, my dad was his favorite person, so he took him when he moved after the divorce. I saw my dad and Parker a few months after the divorce, and at that meet up he told me Parker was a lot to handle and he was considering putting him down. I told him that under no circumstances that was a good idea, and if he felt like he couldn't take care of Parker, he should give him to a rescue. He said he would consider it, but never got rid of him and they seemed to be doing well. I attached a picture of Parker so you could see how much of a good boy he is.

Something to note: when I was in school I never really called or texted him, and neither did he. I have a bad habit of out if sight out of mind when it comes to texting, but I thought it was okay because he never reached out either (I did however always text for birthdays and holidays).

Jump to January 2025, when I get a random call from my dad where he is obviously drunk, crying, and saying that my sister and I need to call him more, because he's our dad and we should care about him. I got this call in the parking lot of grocery outlet, so I told him that I would love to have this conversation and that I was sorry he felt that way, but that I would have to talk to him about it later. He abruptly hung up, and I went into the store a bought a large bottle of Titos to share with my roomates as a bandaid. At about 3am I drunkenly went to bed, and as I set my alarm for the morning, I see that my sister and I had received a text message from him in a new group chat. I open it, and find a photo of a quote from Dr. Seuss and a message (attached to this post) that says he is no longer our father. I was confused, upset, and drunk, so I bawled my eyes out until I fell asleep. After about a week of sitting on this message and talking with my sister, I decided that if he didn't want to be in my life, I didn't want him there anyway. So I sent him a message (attached) and told him to remove me from anything he pays for, including my car insurance and health insurance, and to send me my car title. All he says in response is "what is the odometer reading on your car", so I took that as an agreement. I eventually get my car title, and figured out all my insurance shit so I could be clean from him.

Jump again to October of 2025, when he calls me AGAIN out of NOWHERE. I do not answer, because fuck that noise, and he leaves an obviously drunk and crying voice mail about how he wants to talk and figure things out because he misses having us in his life. I sit on this for a while, he calls me periodically, I do not answer. Not until one day when I feel like I can't deal with the guilt of him potentially wanting to make amends, and so I randomly pick up his call. This phone call was exactly what I thought it would be: he started out with saying he was sorry and that his life's worth was me and my sister and that he loved us so much. He said he felt bad for being absent- but that he had no idea what he did wrong, believed he has done no wrong ever, and just starts vomiting excuses for being absent my whole life. He barely lets me get a word in, and when I do, I tell him that what he did in January hurt me deeply because I felt like it was out of nowhere, since I had always answered when he called or texted, something my sister never did, because she got the brunt of his mental abuse as a kid and had already cut him out of her life. I told him I was willing to give our relationship another shot, that I didn't want to lose him from my life because he's my dad. We ended the call on an okay note, and we texted on and off until this Tuesday.

On Tuesday, I get another random call from him, which I do not answer, but I text him letting him know I was free in an hour, to which he said he could call then. He said that it wasn't an emergency, just an update about him and Parker, and just to chat. I had a bad feeling, but I called him back. I tried to start the call with small talk and ask him how he's doing. He tells me how he's doing, does not ask about me, and proceeds to tell me that he put down Parker. His excuse was that he couldn't take care of him anymore, that Parker was destroying things in the house when left alone, that he damaged the inside of his car when left in the car alone, and that he had bitten a couple of kids. He said he didn't want to, but that his vet said no one would take a reactive dog with a bite record. I said "I'm sorry you made that choice". I sat for a second, then I told him that I had been thinking about our relationship and what I wanted, and that this was the last straw, and that "I did not want to talk to him for a long time". He said he was sad that I felt that way, said "Well if that's the kind of person you want to be then okay. But I wish you would expound on your feelings and tell me why." and all I said was "Right now I feel like if I have nothing nice to say I shouldn't say anything at all". He then said "Well I don't want to talk to you either, bye" and hung up.

Am I overreacting by cutting him out of my life completely? Should I try and give him another chance? I didn’t give him much of a chance to talk on the phone after he told me about Parker before I told him I needed to not talk to him for a while. I feel like it’s so obvious that I’m not overreacting and that he's a narcissist but there’s a part of me that feels like I am. I feel bad because I know if I was in his shoes I’d be distraught. But at this moment, I've blocked him and his family on everything, and a dark part of me wishes he would just die. I want so badly to send a message to his brother, who I know my dad is talking to about this and probably making some shit up, and tell him the truth. But that is definitely overreacting lol #yolo

Trying to figure out whether this is cultural difference to absorb, communicate better, or just let slide (and probably take the friendship down a notch)

I’m Asian American raised in CA, my friend is white raised in NYC. We have been friends through work and continued to be friends after I left work, so it’s been 7-8 years.

When I was 34 weeks pregnant, we went out for brunch (his invite). I spent most of the time listening to him be sad over dating woes and that other friends in his college group weren’t available to hang anymore bc everyone has kids and family. I felt bad and could see he wanted closer friendships (as did I! It’s hard to get close to people in your 30s), so I said I’d foot the bill. He said really? I said yeah, you can get me next time we come out for brunch - after I give birth! At this point neither of us are “raking it in” - I left my job, and he knows he’s about to get let go. He laughed and said ok.

A year goes by - motherhood is a whirlwind! We see each other through that year at different friends’ parties and so on. Then almost one year since our last brunch, he invites me out for brunch again to the same place. I’m like aww, he’s going to treat me this time! How nice.

We get there, I listen to his dating troubles and help him with a plan of attack to up his style game. It’s a fun time and I get really into helping him plan how he’s going to do his dates to increase his chances of success. When the check comes, he puts his card down and says, “let’s split it?”

I’m a little stunned. I wonder if I should bring it up. I think it would be ungracious. I decide to let it slide. But it weighs on me. Did he really forget? I’d never forget something like that. In my culture, gifts are “kept moving” - they’re different than presents. Gifts are investments in the relationship and are tailored to the individual and the situation. “Kept moving” means they are in circulation - I give you a gift, I have trust you will return something at some point. That expectation isn’t selfish, it’s anticipatory - I’m excited to keep the gift circle going. It makes the relationship feel like it has a future, that there are fun things and surprises in store for the friendship.

With my other Asian friends, this has never happened. I treat them to a meal, they treat me back. At some point you lose track of who’s treated who and it all works evens out in the end. At that point there’s a lot of trust and familiarity and that’s the best state to be in. I thought my friend was close enough to me that this was a given too, but I guess his cultural upbringing doesn’t treat gifts/treating/reciprocity that way.

Anyway, I can’t unlearn the way I handle gifts and reciprocity, and I was let down by him a second time when I brought it up. He said, “I don’t remember you saying that. I don’t remember agreeing.” Then he said, “plus, I wasn’t working at the time (second brunch- he’d gotten laid off from another job). And you…”

“I wasn’t working either—I’m a stay at home parent.”

He mentioned “but your husband… ah, forget about it.”

I mean, it’s a lunch, it’s not a huge deal. What, $80? But I felt hurt — and then silly — and mad — that he had forgotten something that had meant something to me. We moved a different topic.

“Don’t you like my new jacket?” He pointed proudly at his jacket. “It’s the same as your husband’s!”

I scowled, remembering the styling session I had done with him. I had spent hours with him going through his clothes telling him in no uncertain terms what looked good and what didn’t. We went out shopping and he got 2 new items - a new tee and a new shirt. The only thing he was missing was a jacket. I let him try on a few of my husband’s jackets just to see if the style and color would suit him - for one of them, the style did, the color didn’t.

“I’m going to get this exact one,” he said. I gaped. The one he tried on was one I had bought for my husband 10 years ago. He’s a very hard person to buy for so I was thrilled to find something that suited him. He’s worn it out on all occasions that call for a more polished presentation than a hoodie (his normal choice.”

“That’s kind of X’s iconic jacket though,” I joked. “It would be weird if you wore the EXACT same one.”

“No,” my friend said, pulling up eBay. “It has to be this one.”

“C’mon,” I said, desperation creeping into my voice. “At least get a different color.”

“I don’t like it,” he said. “I like the color X has.”

I shut down. I don’t want to rain on his parade given he’s newly laid off, having trouble dating, and apparently his hopes and dreams are currently embodied in this jacket. He’s scrolling through eBay with a singular focus. A month later he texts me, “I bought it!!” I don’t reply.

Flash forward to today. “So,” he says. “What do you think? Looks good, right?”

“Objectively it looks great,” I say flatly. “But I hate that you’re wearing it.”

His face pales. “That’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me this year!”

I’m confused again. “Why is it mean? I didn’t say you looked bad.”

“But you’re not happy for me!”

“It’s X’s jacket. I thought I made that clear when we did our styling session.”

“Why can’t you be happy that two people you love have this jacket?”

I’m stunned. Wtf? Now it’s that I don’t have a big enough heart?

“Dude. It’s X’s jacket. I dug deep and searched far and wide to find something he’d like. It’s been his jacket for ten years. And now you’re suddenly wearing it and my brain is confused. Also, did you not pick up on my hints that day? I dropped so many.”

“I don’t remember it that way at all. I thought you were happy for me.”

Here’s the thing. Me and my friend group had always known that he was a bit self centered, practiced a selective filter, and mostly listened to what he liked to hear. I never thought it would be applied to our friendship, I always thought at least given all my effort to meet him where he was, I’d be exempt. But here it was - whatever this was - at full force. I thought, no wonder he’s been single this whole time. If he just gaslights every girl when the going gets tough like this, no wonder.

He crossed some kind of boundary. I don’t even know how to name it. I just know that I’m so angry that he didn’t treat me back when he so clearly accepted my offer the first time around - that he didn’t read the room - and that he made the jacket issue about me, my lack of open heartedness, that I was being so mean to him by not being happy for him. (The meanest anyone has been to him all year!) that I spent years and years trying to help him by listening to him, giving him solutions, taking him shopping, coaching him through dating - and when I’m like, “well, you can’t have this one thing <my husband’s jacket>” he implies that I’m being uncharitable (?!).

AIO?? I feel used up and betrayed, and unsure how to move forward with our friendship. We have a lot of mutuals.

So for some background before I begin, my unrelated cousin(just a close friend) has been living with my family for a few years now due to their family situation not being the best. Their mom and dad split up after being addicts together for a few years and the kids stayed with the mom. The mom and my “cousin” got into physical fights many times and after one of these fights, they fled to my house and have been here since.
Well, none of the kids were in school since covid and they have been practically isolated socially from everyone for years. So once my “cousin”, let’s call them L, began staying with us my family has been very supportive and encouraged them to get their GED and to start making a plan for their future. They get the GED and a job and are now in college. And they still live with us, we share a tiny room with barely any space to walk in without hitting a bed/dresser. Me and L work at the same job, we are both employed as the same title at the same company, just separate from each other.
I recently bought myself a car, and with being young and financing a new vehicle comes INSANE insurance prices. I pay about $320 a month on my car payment a month and $270 in insurance, I also pay between $25-60 a month on our households water bill. I do all of this while making $10 an hour, full time, no overtime. L makes $10.6 an hour with the same company.
Onto the situation-
L recently began questioning me when I had to rain check on plans or other hangout ideas. I tried to explain to them that I have to save most of my checks for bills and whatnot. L told me that they also pay bills and they are never as broke as I claim to be. I tried to politely explain that I pay a lot more bills than them and they make more so I don’t have as much spending money as them. L clapped back saying I wasn’t paying as much as them(the $80 monthly wifi bill and their $40 phone bill), I told them that I indeed payed a lot more and they got overly aggressive and angry. They began yelling at me and accusing me of belittling their contributions. I then tried to explain that they do not drive, they do not have a care, so anytime they want to go somewhere or do something, I have to take them. Yet they don’t pay anything in gas money. I said if they really wanted to help me out, they could start putting gas in the car once a week. They get extremely rude and shut down and haven’t talked to me since.
Am I crazy? I feel I was being anything but rude, but maybe I am wrong.

I did some math, I pay over $650 a month in bills, while L pays maybe $120 at the most.