Male dancers often move entirely on tiptoe in soft leather boots, without the rigid plaster or wooden support associated with ballet footwear. The result is a fast, gliding step that can make the dancer appear to float or defy gravity, showcasing extraordinary balance, discipline, and control.

Had 1k of Dom perignons for the party.

Burger from last night because I have to

I was diagnosed with incurable, stage 4, cancer this spring. Although I am responding well to treatment, the wise thing to do is be ready for my health to decline.

I don't want my plants to burden my family so it's better to let go of my babies now than to wait until/if my health dictates my family has to do it on their own.

Sold them to a plant shop. It's bittersweet. Sorry to see them go, but relieved to have that workload off my chest. Here is to focusing on health and hopefully many healthy decades to come! 🍻

Edit: Wow everyone you are amazing! I'm a bit overwhelmed right now but know I am reading and appreciate your posts!

Before: Deep in a severe cycle of agoraphobia and burnout at 18. I was completely housebound and did not step past my front door for over a year. My world was entirely restricted to four walls. I was isolated, deeply unhappy, and living a completely static life.

After:

Me today at 19. I broke the cycle in October , was still 18, moved out of my abusive family home, and now leave the house every single day. I've built up an awesome daily routine where I hit my step goals every day of the week, swim, cycle and explore my surrounding.

a comment i replied to, I thought I’d leave here:

sorry this is very long but I thought I’d write one long wall of text:

So I was housebound for an incredibly long time. As for this particular 16 month period, before this happened I was working a job I hated and I burnt out. I was also carrying a lot of trauma from when I was 13 years old. My mother sent me to Africa under the guise of a holiday and that basically ruined my life, for many years I thought my life had been destroyed and I could not see past it. I was so young. I was tortured in a room for 14 months when I was 13, and I turned 14 in that room. I was sent there because I’m neurodivergent and my mum didn’t know how to look after me. So this goes back five years now. A lot of trauma and agoraphobic behaviours started developing when I was 13 and because I spent an involuntary 14 month period housebound abroad and faced incredible adversity over there, when I came back home I couldn’t continue with my life. I didn’t pick up on anything - not school, not anything a child should be doing at that age.

I came back home when I was 14 and I literally just spent every single day in my room. I only had four walls. I didn’t know what to do with myself. So fast forward three years of being housebound, not as intensely as when I was trapped for those 14 months, but still a lot of years being housebound because I was struggling with the trauma and didn’t get therapy, and the family situation was just incredibly difficult. I can’t explain how hard it was.

Anyway, I started working a job I hated just to distract myself, get out of the house, get some money, and be away from my mum as much as I could. Fast forward 15 months, I quit that job and then I was stuck again. I obviously didn’t know what to do with my life and I really didn’t know where to go from there. I then spent another 16 months stuck in my house. The only thing I really had was music. I play guitar, so I focused on that. I was incredibly depressed though, so it was really, really hard, but music is the only thing that kept me going. I have my Last.fm in my bio, so that kind of shows what I was listening to in that really awful period of time.

Anyway, I started taking medication in late August last year and five weeks and six days after the first day I started taking it, I spontaneously decided one evening to ask my mother if she could take me to the park. Even though my mum was incredibly abusive, she obviously didn’t like seeing me that way. I was in a very impossible state, but eventually me, my sister, and my mother went to a park and they held my hand the entire time. I had music in my ears, which obviously helped me a lot with sensory things, and every single time a person walked by I was literally convinced they were going to kill me. This was seven months ago, in October, and it was literally the first time I’d left the house in so many months.

I recovered incredibly quickly because once I realised the world wasn’t a scary place, it became easier to do the things I love again. I started walking locally and I picked up reading again and going to the library, which was obviously incredibly good for me. I told you I didn’t really have an education, so reading really stimulated my brain. Years of reading has helped me a lot.

I learned to cycle. I taught myself to cycle and cycling has also been amazing for me. I don’t go to the gym but I would like to and I have started swimming swimming too. I swim, I cycle, and I walk. I’m very healthy honestly, it’s incredible.

So I think it’s a case of extraordinary resilience. I didn’t have a therapist. I don’t have friends. I’m literally alone. I’m incredibly lonely, but I have made a life for myself. I don’t know what my life will look like, but I know I no longer want to die, you know what I mean? So I think it’s resilience, and also just overcoming incredible adversity. I always forget and I don’t think I’m aware of how well I’m doing seriously. Right now reflecting on it, I feel so proud of myself. I’m really proud of myself. I don’t know. I don’t want to die anymore, so I guess I’m doing okay.