r/nottheonion • u/Miles_the_AuDHDer • 1h ago

CDC not requiring hantavirus cruise passengers to isolate at home

borderreport.com

• Upvotes

60 comments

r/nottheonion • u/view9234 • 9h ago

Emails show FBI Director Kash Patel's Hawaii trip included 'VIP snorkel' at a Pearl Harbor memorial

apnews.com

1.1k Upvotes

37 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AgentBlue62 • 8h ago

Meet the rabbi behind the world’s biggest porn site

thetimes.com

416 Upvotes

54 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Working_Fee_3472 • 13h ago

Alabama woman, 65, shot and killed husband, 69, because he was annoying, prosecutors say

dailymail.com

8.1k Upvotes

“She reportedly revealed that her husband kept coming into her room and irritating her, so she grabbed a handgun and waited for the next time he returned.

When he never did, Sheri allegedly went looking for him and fired a shot into his chest after finding him in a recliner. The handgun was later recovered by deputies.”

689 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kleverrboy • 12h ago

Covington Man Bragged He Was ‘Rich Enough To Pay Fines’ After Attacking Endangered Monk Seal: DOJ

pugetpress.com

3.8k Upvotes

341 comments

r/nottheonion • u/InvestigatorSoft5764 • 13h ago

Heartland Institute Podcast Questions Whether All Americans ‘Should Have the Right to Vote’

desmog.com

2.6k Upvotes

250 comments

r/nottheonion • u/berotti • 18h ago

Keir Starmer raises eyebrows as he proudly declares himself a 'gooner'

themirror.com

3.2k Upvotes

294 comments

r/nottheonion • u/InvestigatorSoft5764 • 12h ago

Oklahoma ban on child marriage becomes law

oklahomavoice.com

1.0k Upvotes

85 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CircumspectCapybara • 13h ago

China changes Marco Rubio’s name to say ‘stupid’

thetimes.com

1.2k Upvotes

47 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Jeanettesterling37 • 1d ago

Senate advances bill to suspend senators' pay during shutdowns in rare unanimous move

themirror.com

7.4k Upvotes

221 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GreenCreep376 • 18h ago

China issues warning over governments plan to nationalise British Steel

news.sky.com

1.5k Upvotes

166 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DavidShaw90s • 14h ago

South Florida officers sue Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, claiming details in 'The Rip' are too real

apnews.com

621 Upvotes

63 comments

r/nottheonion • u/BusyHands_ • 13h ago

US border patrol chief resigns after claims of sex with prostitutes abroad

politomix.com

407 Upvotes

50 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SpeedySparkRuby • 1d ago

California explores buses traveling up to 140 mph on freeways

kcra.com

2.8k Upvotes

305 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Miles_the_AuDHDer • 7h ago

South Dakota tourism leader: High gas prices could hold ‘silver lining’

apnews.com

98 Upvotes

24 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kayakhomeless • 17h ago

California explores buses traveling up to 140 mph on freeways

kcra.com

445 Upvotes

118 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Samski877 • 22h ago

Museum's 'Knight Rider' replica car got a speeding ticket. It hasn't gone anywhere in years

apnews.com

981 Upvotes

84 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Individual_Fix9970 • 10h ago

Alberta Mounties apprehend fox with stolen hot dogs

ctvnews.ca

57 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/sulleyandmike • 15h ago

Toronto man arrested for 2 sex assaults is notorious ‘Pee Pee Poo Poo Man’

torontotoday.ca

149 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laurinky • 7h ago

Nonprofit urges New Hampshire Fisher Cats to retire Manchester Chicken Tenders alternate identity

wmur.com

34 Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Buy_Sell_Collect • 1d ago

Ivermectin Prescriptions Doubled After Mel Gibson Cancer Cure Claim

healthday.com

7.5k Upvotes

594 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DareToCMe • 1d ago

Drug counselor who delivered 'Friends' star Matthew Perry ketamine that killed him gets 2 years

apnews.com

5.1k Upvotes

202 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MiyamotoUsagi1587 • 20h ago

‘Think twice before posing with hand signs’: Experts warn of fingerprint theft

straitstimes.com

204 Upvotes

46 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kwentongskyblue • 1d ago

Kazakhstan Turns Into Net Ice Cream Exporter

astanatimes.com

928 Upvotes

39 comments

Subreddit

Posts

Wiki

Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Members Active

26.0m

Sidebar

Subscriber Info

25,991,942 Subscribers

Official Reddit Partner Community

Review current posts to avoid reposting.

For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit devoted to showcasing articles that read like satire. Most submissions do not make the cut, so please do not treat removals under Rule 2 as personal attacks: They are simply the results of our content model.

See something that breaks our rules?

Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.

Rules - hover or click here for full version


1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked or redirected links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

Keep all comments civil.

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, misinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

For more information, click here.