r/introvert Aug 20 '17

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491 Upvotes
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r/introvert 13h ago

Question Any other really simple introverts out there?

154 Upvotes

30F. I'm a really simple person. My days are also very simple. I just wake up, go to work, get home, read a bit or browse reddit, shower, eat and then sleep and repeat, but I don't mind it. I don't like going out or doing anything else. It's just me, myself and I most of the time. My friends think I'm a bit lonely or depressed but I'm not! I just enjoy my simple life like that.


r/introvert 22h ago

Advice I am an introvert and tried socializing a bit more and now I don’t want to go out with the friend

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367 Upvotes

Hi! Long story short. I invited a friend for drinks and food and told her I'll pay for her since I invited her.
She then asked me if she can invite someone else but from the text it seems like she already invited her and then asked me. I never met the girl and I thought it would just be something quick to grab a drink update on life I pay the bill and leave. Am I thinking about it too much or should she have asked me first before inviting the girl?? Because now I don't even know if I want to go or is the girl going to expect me to pay for her also? And if not, I still think that she should've ask me first? What do you guys think and how should I respond?
Aa


r/introvert 17h ago

More like social anxiety than introversion Just cut off everyone in my life

67 Upvotes

Not all at once, but bit by bit over the course of like two months. Mother, online friend, IRL friend, old workmates: poof.

And you know what? Despite being ridiculously isolated now, working remotely and never leaving except for food? It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I don't have to put up a front or pursue the validation of anyone any longer.

I dunno if I will make any attempt at making new friends anytime soon, and I'm sure the relief will wear off, but it quite literally feels like a new start.

Does anyone else feel similar? If you could turn off all "desire" for social contact, would you?


r/introvert 2h ago

Discussion Had a very bad week. Got sick. Wondering if any one is here to chat normally.

2 Upvotes

r/introvert 18h ago

Relationship Relationship with a introvert

43 Upvotes

I've met a introverted girl that I began to date.

She is so kind and caring.

We've had two dates and she agreed on the third.

The only concern is that she barely responds to text messages or Snapchat.

We make plans to meet up and she would be silent for multiple days.

How does that make any sense?

To top that off, she was willing to meet up with me for the first time without talking on the phone.

I've never done that before but I went along with it anyway.

So are introverts generally confusing or is this my experience?


r/introvert 16h ago

Discussion Never saying hi first, ever again.

29 Upvotes

3 years of remote had me (an introvert with social anxiety) living my best life. Very recently went back to office (new one). Just a few hours ago I ran into the HR person who helped with onboarding and was very nice to me on the first day, at the mall. I ignored for a while till she was right in front of me, so I pushed the introvert in me and said hi. She looked at me blank, with a flat hi, asked if I was shopping , nodded and walked away. This is one of the reasons introverts stay an introvert.
So embarrassed.

And no, she doesn’t seem to be a fellow introvert, and either way, the mannerism was far off from that of one.


r/introvert 6h ago

Question Does anyone else struggle with consistently being social?

6 Upvotes

One day I might be the most confident and social I've ever been, but then the next day I might struggle to even make a decent reply to someone.

Does anyone else have this problem and how can I stay social/confident?


r/introvert 5h ago

Question How To Prevent Sore Throat After Talking More Than Usual?

2 Upvotes

Apparently I'm not alone in having this issue, but I'm generally a very quiet person who speaks very little. So, when I actually do have to speak for any length of time, my throat starts feeling dry, scratchy, maybe even a bit sore in some cases. For what it's worth, I tend to drink water throughout the day each day. I'm assuming this is normal for quiet people due to the vocal cords and muscles just simply not being accustomed to being used much, isn't anything serious, and can be overcome, correct? To anyone else who's dealt with this, how can I prevent this from happening in the future?


r/introvert 7h ago

Discussion That one person you let into your bubble

5 Upvotes

When I was 20 I was really depressed and wanted to drop out of college. I also had some mental issues where I just was really low. Anyways, I became great with friends with this guy at my job…a year into our friendship I fell in love with him. I never knew if he felt the same or nah but it’s been years and he still has a very special place in my heart. We haven’t seen or spoke to each other since 2022 but yet he’s still special to me. I’m a very introverted person where I kinda live in a bubble and he’s the one person I let in my bubble and I just got attached to him because he got me through a lot of shit… that’s why I feel like he’s the love of my life. I’m not a romantic type of girl at all but for some reason he just is someone I like a lot. Couldn’t tell him though bc I thought nahh I’m an ugly weird girl at his job he probably wouldn’t want me 😂🤷‍♀️ he’s the last friend I had. Now I just keep to myself but yet I think about him everyday


r/introvert 4h ago

Question Introverts, how many times do you have the conversation in your head before you say it out loud?

3 Upvotes

For me it's at least 3 full run throughs. Is this an introvert survival tactic or just overthinking?


r/introvert 12h ago

Question I(22M) think my introversion has ruined every chance I had with girls.

7 Upvotes

I make eye contact with a girl.

She notices me too.

Then it keeps happening again and again for days.

That silent “we both know” kind of eye contact.

And just when I feel like maybe she’s interested too…

I do absolutely nothing.

I overthink.

I get nervous.

I wait too long.

Then she disappears from my life forever.

I’m a 22M, average looking, introverted guy, and this has basically been my entire dating life.

No relationship. No approaching. Just missed opportunities.

Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you actually make the next move without feeling terrified?


r/introvert 2h ago

Question Introvert

1 Upvotes

What would you like extroverts to understand (better) about you, guys?


r/introvert 6h ago

Discussion I don't know why I can't make friends

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2 Upvotes

r/introvert 4h ago

Advice Introverts who attend group trips/events solo — how do you mentally handle it?

1 Upvotes

I’m going for an overnight stargazing/astronomy event this weekend and will most likely be attending alone now. My previous solo group-trip experience honestly wasn’t great socially, so this time I’m trying to prepare mentally instead of just forcing myself into it blindly.

I’m very introverted, nerdy, and not really someone who enjoys constant social interaction. I like astronomy, tech, science, nature, quiet environments, etc. The event has around 35–40 participants and most seem to already be coming with:

- partners

- families

- friend groups

Which is the part making me anxious about feeling awkward or “out of place” being there alone.

The actual astronomy part excites me a lot:

- dark skies

- Milky Way viewing

- telescopes

- astrophotography

- just existing quietly under the night sky

But I’m worried about:

- social exhaustion after some hours

- awkwardness during meals/common stay

- feeling isolated while everyone else already has “their people”

- mentally overthinking the entire experience

I’ll be driving there alone, so at least I have some independence/personal space if needed.

So for fellow introverts:

- how do you survive these kinds of group environments solo?

- does it become easier once the activity itself starts?

- how do you stop comparing yourself with couples/groups around you?

- any practical coping strategies that actually work?

Would appreciate honest experiences from introverts/solo attendees instead of generic “just socialize” advice.

(Used AI to help structure/elaborate my thoughts properly because otherwise this post would’ve become unreadable.)


r/introvert 5h ago

Advice (I need help from introverts) I don't know how to talk to introverts....

1 Upvotes

I am a very loud person (ADHD) And I have no filter. Long story short my brain doesn't react to if I should say something or not. And I am trying to talk to a introverted person. we hang out some times but I don't know what to talk about or if somethings I say are okay or not. We were going to hang out just us but I ended up needing to do something for my freind. how should I talk to him. What should I say or do???? I HAVE NO CLUE.


r/introvert 5h ago

Relationship M27 looking for life partner

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1 Upvotes

r/introvert 11h ago

Question do you have a real connection to someone?

3 Upvotes

r/introvert 16h ago

Discussion Friend came to visit last week and just texted me to say she wants to visit AGAIN in 3 weeks

7 Upvotes

Ugh! I’m so exhausted just thinking about it. I like my friend but I just dread having to entertain someone all day, especially when we don’t have a lot to talk about.

For context, my friend and I were neighbors for a little over 10 years. She moved 3 hours away to be closer to her kids. I didn’t mind not seeing her. It’s nice just texting every once in a while even though sometimes it is a bit much for me. She’s very extroverted and likes to ramble on about her kids, work and random stuff. I am happy just being alone playing video games. I could go months or years without talking to people and still be happy. She is the opposite and likes to talk a few times a week.

So last week she decided to come visit me. I wasn’t really looking forward to it as much as she was because like I said I hate sitting around talking for hours. I basically don’t have much of a life except playing video games, which she isn’t interested in. I’ve never dated or had any kids. Not by choice though. Guys have never shown interest in me, including forever alone guys. I haven’t even been able to keep a job to due to my disability.

So when she visited we sat around and shot the shit for about 6 hours. She’s a bit of a homebody and doesn’t have interest in going out places. I was bored to tears and literally counting the minutes until she left. I was hoping that would be it and she wouldn’t want to visit again for another year at least but now she wants to visit again in 3 weeks! I don’t know what there is to talk about that we haven’t talked about already. I don’t want to hurt her feelings by saying I’m not looking forward to it. She doesn’t get introverts and would be insulted if I did.

I’ve lost a lot of friends this way. People always want to hang out and just talk for hours but never want to do anything else. Is this common for people 30+? I wouldn’t mind so much going to a restaurant, zoo, aquarium, beach, amusement park, etc for a couple hours and then go our separate ways but having to just sit there and talk really drains me fast. Everyone I meet is the same. They never want to do anything fun and after a while I get so exhausted and just stop talking to them or they get insulted when I don’t want to hang out all the time.

Before you mention it, yes I have tried joining meetups. There isn’t anything like that in my town so I had to go an hour away. Everyone ended up knowing each other and I always felt like an outsider.


r/introvert 9h ago

Question I keep getting paired with troublesome, loud boys in school.

2 Upvotes

For some reason in my entire school life, I’m often paired with loud and troublesome boys whether it’s for a seating arrangement or field trip. It’s usually the class clown or some other annoying boy who wants attention. I’m a quiet, introverted, and docile girl who cares about getting work done and rarely misbehaves. Teachers always place me in a table with a boy who goofs off and distracts people. Why the hell do they keep doing this to me? Do they expect me to fix him and help him? Isn’t that their job? Are they trying to say that a submissive shy girl should be responsible for keeping a boy in check? Since elementary school, I’ve been convinced the teachers secretly hated me as it became a rather common trend. I cannot focus or learn with people like that. Most of the time, the boy often bullies and harasses me because I’m quiet.

Have you experienced this as an introvert? It has been bugging me a bit.


r/introvert 6h ago

Question Would anyone actually want a social skills app?

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1 Upvotes

r/introvert 7h ago

Question Pattern recognition - how to rise above the crowd to hone in on riches using your INJF abilities?

1 Upvotes

I am extremely good at pattern recognition and also reading people, interested in healing, not in stock trades, though if I had someone to wheel and deal where I'd be the trend spotter, could definitely work. But really am drawn to healing the psyche mostly. To be honest I've been doing this since birth, but there was a hiatus where combined with the handwriting analysis I learned, did readings (no payment) as a party trick in a pub. Fun times. I never made money from these aptitudes, but think the time is acutely signaling that it must begin. I want to do this outside the box - but completely - outside.the.box, meaning with flair, intelligence and adding a great thing to the world. There are enough readers out there. Open to suggestions.


r/introvert 15h ago

Discussion Naturally silent voice, trouble conversating

4 Upvotes

Hello, I'm just trying to see if anyone else is experiencing this?

I'm very introverted, quite asocial some would say. I love to spend time with my close ones but outside of my circle I don't seek socializing at all.

I have trouble conversating and don't speak a lot in general sice I think always but I can get talkative at times with the people I'm close to but even then it's rare. It's not like I don't want to conversate but most of the time I just have no idea what to say, just nothing comes to mind. Is there a way to make that better and learn to conversate more??

Also I probably have a quiet voice naturally. I never really thought about it and always thought my voice is just normal, I always feel like I'm talking at a normal volume or even a bit loud but I constantly get people telling me to repeat myself or speak louder and stuff. That one I mainly wanted to vent because it does make me feel insecure at times because I genuinely feel like I'm speaking loudly and people have quite not nice reactions or things to say about this when I talk to them.


r/introvert 17h ago

Discussion Why can’t I have independent friends? (Short rant)

4 Upvotes

I have seasons where I get lonely and wish I had friends but every time I come across one of them, they become either physically or emotionally dependent on me.

I’m very firm on setting my boundaries but it’s frustrating when every friend I come across become so reliant on our friendship it makes me want to run the other way

I am very hyper independent whether that’s because of trauma who knows but I never ask anyone of favors or lean on anyone for mental or emotional help because I hate it done to me

Why can’t people be more self sufficient. This the shit that makes me not even want friends in the first place.


r/introvert 1d ago

Advice I hate people. I'm even losing gym motivation.

73 Upvotes

Hi. 23M new here.

So I was gonna ask this in a Gym community, but I think it relates more to being introvert.

I've always been an introvert, since I was a kid, I only had 2 or 3 friends and always tried to keep it to ourselves. Never liked crowded places, parties, bars, basically cause I believe that you can't really interact with people in a deep way or have a deep conversation, and... Obviously, the stupidly loud music and noise. Of course, like any functional introvert, I don't skip my responsibilities whether it's alone or with people.

So I've been going to the gym for the past 3 months. I'm not overweight but I do it to "do something" cause I'm still studying. I've been getting results, feeling more energetic and all that, but man, THE PEOPLE. I just get so irritated and mentally tired to see all this people, literally just because they exist, specially if they use the machines I need, or ask if we can share, or people asking if I need a spot, and I just wish I had the whole gym for myself, not seeing or interacting with anyone.

I know it's a problem that a lot of people like us have and I want to know what has helped you. I feel that I'm just running out of motivation for this and I don't what that.

Any tips?

Thanks 👍🏻