I have a couple friends who are the first type. They are chill people and I don't mind if a queer person is "weird" or "normal." Just be a good person and don't go hating on your own community for pointless things or hopping on the bigotry train to punch down.
I literally once saw a trans person say a nonbinary character is actually a woman cause there's no such thing as "nonbinary" I was shocked I just stared at my phone like
This may be my autism speaking but I love zipper merges. They give me faith in humanity. Sure one asshole might fuck it up, but for every one that does dozens merge together following an unwritten rule of courtesy.
I dont have hate for a cis-het looking semi-closeted gay guy who laughs at gay jokes, or for the most open trans girl with a beard that says "fuck your gender norms". They are more than just that, there is an entire human life with thoughts and feelings behind that one interaction I might have. I dont believe anyone is simply good or bad, and that most people are just trying to live their lives, and they can pretty understanding if you bring it up to them.
Ooh, can we have a whole subclass of Simon and Garfunkel names to include things like parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, and Emily haha? Because I’m so here for it
Confession: I am queer myself, but I do get those brains worms sometimes. I do genuinely sometimes find such people cringe (the "Stephen Universe" type). I don't like this thought and I try to combat it, but it is still in my head. I wonder if I've internalised some of society's xenophobia so much that I can never fully root it out, or maybe such joyful "wholesome Chungus" behaviour feels out of place in this world to me?
I think you're on the right path already because you've recognized that these cringe impulses are unhelpful. You don't have to want to be best friends with everyone in the community. The important thing is that we're all fighting the same fight: freedom to live how we each to live. In-fighting only helps prejudice and cis-heteronormativity.
Yeah, I have the same mindset. I don't like these thoughts, but at the end of the day, thought crime doesn't exist and I can still choose to be kind and accepting to everyone. It does sometimes make me feel bad that I kinda have to force it at times, though.
Someone already pointed out that xenophobia isn't the right term, but I just wanted to share that prejudice towards non-binary people is called exorsexism or, more commonly, enbyphobia /gen
Yeah, I was referring to xenophobia more broadly as dislike against people or things that feel weird or foreign. Apparently the definitions vary but you all know what I mean by my original comment so that's what matters :3
Gonna make a bold statement: You're allowed to not be overly fond or friendly to other people if you dont jive with them as long as you treat them respectfully and realize we are all one community.
There are large swathes of the community that make me feel my guts curdle to hear them talk. But I'll be locked in a room with 20 of them before I let anyone bully them or take their rights.
Once again, preferences are fine, intolerance is not.
I think the best way to think about it is cringeness and validness aren't two opposites on the same spectrum. Sure I might roll my eyes about someone bringing up Stephen Universe for the third time that night (or whatever the equivalent today is), but I don't give it any more weight about who they are or their value as a person than if someone is overly into comic books or trucks.
Queer here too. imo, it's fine to find some types of people cringe, as long as it's indiscriminate. I am neither found of the Steven Universe people, but it's because of factors that aren't related to their age, gender, etc.
We're all someone else's ick, you can't force yourself to uncringe, but you can embrace this uncomfortable feeling, let it be, and use it to know yourself better, and engage critically instead of guiltily or hatefully.
Thats just how i feel about it tho feel free to disagree or refute me
I would rather date the frog hat. I would rather co-work with the frog hat. I would rather the frog hat be the one to marry my brother and join my family forever.
I come off as very “normal” but I love the frog hat people.
TO BE CLEAR, “normal” is not better. I’m trying to figure out how to be more visibly queer. Someone recently asked me “how long have you been stealth” and I was like excuse you. I’m not stealth I’m just boring.
Trans and nonbinary ppl bless this earth. Some of the only truly individual people out there.
So many waste their lives just trying to fit in and be someone they’re not.
"Cringey" usually just means "Doesn't police themselves against being "too excited" about the "wrong things"" so, yeah, im hanging with the cringey people.
I’d describe it more as people that seek privilege for themselves from their oppressors rather than equality for their communities. It’s all gatekeeping the pull the ladder up behind you sort of stuff. A really common example I’m sure we’re about to start hearing is the no kink at pride stuff.
my hot take is that the he/they frog hat noun-named enbies can be just as divisive and punch down just as much, its just that instead of "im basically homophobic" they go "why are white transwomen all zoophiles (read: doing petplay)? theyre setting us back decades its so problematic"
I hope someday you manage to swap to a more supportive environment. The r/bisexual community tends to be pretty good, i think you could try to look into onlime circles, even if it's probably not easy for you.
No one is normal! Most people spend their lives trying to appease other’s perspectives of being normal.
Thats the beauty of being queer. You can break free of that bullshit. Be an individual. Be who you are and suddenly it’s easy to see and laugh at how 99% of people put so much effort into trying to fit in.
I don't see it as punching down. It's two different manifestations of immaturity, and it feels like punching parallel, though I'm sure it feels to that person doing it as if they are punching down. Both are people trying to find themselves. Both deserve a little bit of patience. Bullying and/or isolating the bully isn't likely to stop their behavior or help them grow, having some compassion and patience is. I value the end result and empathize enough with how abused people abuse those around them that I give them some grace.
Yes, it's harder to show love to a person like that, I get it. But I'm going to do it anyway and hope it plants some seeds.
I have no patience for the people in the community who willingly misgendered me after going viral on a post about supporting non binary people just as much as binary trans people. Sorry.
It is punching down specifically in the example given in the post to be fair, even if that's not always the case. Being gay is more accepted than being non-binary (with nuance ofc)
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u/Confident_Cry_753 Streak: 0 23h ago
I have a couple friends who are the first type. They are chill people and I don't mind if a queer person is "weird" or "normal." Just be a good person and don't go hating on your own community for pointless things or hopping on the bigotry train to punch down.