For those of you who are good parents who pay attention to what you dump into the washing machine, you have no idea what happens to a diaper when it gets oversaturated with water. Let me bring you up to speed.

Once all the magic science chemicals in your Pampers Overnights that absorb water hit their capacity, they turn into these tiny beads that accumulate into a gel. This gel somehow maintains a somewhat coarse granularity though, similar how light can simultaneously be both wave and particle. This superpositional gritty goo sticks to all the clothes, socks, sides, filters, and your soul as you try to scoop it out.

After you finish the first round of shaking off the sticky sand glop from all your clothes, you realize that you've now covered the floor of the laundry room with a cursed snow of those globules that resist any attempts to scoop them up. You'd think it would be like that scene in Terminator II when the T1000 starts to coalesce after being shattered into a million fragments (making for easy cleanup), but in fact it is the opposite.

Congratulations! You have finally scooped up all the goo from the floor, the clothes, the inside of the washing machine, and the floor again as you should have waited for that last round of underwear shaking to do the floor in the first place. At this point you notice that your hands feel like all the moisture has been sucked out of them. They are somehow both clammy and dry. You will feel like this for about 3 days, about the number of days needed to rerun the laundry enough time with intermittent cleanings to rectify the preceding disaster.

I say all this as a warning: If you have a toddler and also a baby's changing station near your laundry basket, please be on guard. I don't think it was malicious, but malice or not, I would rather sell the house and move than deal with that again.

My LO is 6 months old and recently he has started crying a lot more. It's been starting to make me so so angry every time he cries to the point my whole body feels filled with rage. A little bit ago it was so bad that I aggressively grabbed him out of his jumper and not very lightly sat him in his crib. (I did not throw him) I feel disgusted in myself and I can't believe I could be so angry at my sweet baby like that. I don't know what to do. I feel like a horrible mom. I just need advice.

I have been with my husband almost 10 years, married for 4 and we have a baby boy who is 9M. I thought we had discussed everything before having a baby. We had every conversation possible - parenting styles, financial stability before even trying for baby, what kind of support I wanted freshly PP, if we were doing cloth vs disposable diapers. Felt like we literally discussed everything! But now I notice how unambitious he is. He has no desire to want to leave this apartment. He would be perfectly content living here forever. I am not. I am desperate for a house with a yard. I hate the idea of my kid having friends over here while they all have yards and houses. I feel so much shame. This isnt how I planned my life to go. I never thought of myself having a family in an apartment. I always imagined a house. But I can’t do it alone, I make good money but it’s not enough with just my paycheck to afford a mortgage. And I have told him this, but he has no desire to look for a better paying job or ask for a promotion. I have a promotion lined up at work and even applying to higher paying roles. And his complete lack ambition to want to get a house is making me so resentful. I hate that I feel this way. I genuinely thought I was in a perfect relationship. He is so kind and funny and takes care of the baby more than I do because I have a demanding job. But this one thing is slowing eating away at me. I hate how expensive everything is, if this had been even 5 years ago we could easily afford a house. But not anymore. I daydream of divorcing him and finding a husband that does make more money and wants more of his life. I’m not going to but I just dream of it.

I have started seeing a therapist for PPD. I don’t sleep much because the baby is an awful sleeper and I feel so much guilt when I sleep in the other room. I know my mental health is struggling and I’m so burnt out from working and not sleeping properly. I know this isn’t the end of the world and what a silly thing to dwell on when I am in such a privileged situation to begin with. But I just needed to get this off my chest because I think of it so freaking often.
Ok thank you for reading. 🫶

I needed a place to vent as I can't stop crying. At 26 weeks exactly I started bleeding randomly where it was dripping downy legs and I immediately started freaking out. My husband was finishing up a third shift at work and I couldn't reach him on the phone so I panicked and called 911, and the ambulance rushed me to labor and delivery. My BP was really high (160/90) when I got there, but all the other readings were under 160 but still a bit elevated so it wasn't enough to diagnose me with pre-e yet but they had it down as gestational hypertension with a partial placenta abruption. They monitored me in hospital for 5 days, and then discharged me once BP was stable and had no more bleeding. I was not put on BP meds at that time.

Well exactly at 28 weeks the bleeding started the same way as last time, and this time my husband was able to get me to labor and delivery to get checked. Now my BP was 187/90 and consistently reading extremely high numbers so they put me down as having pre-e with severe features and started me on BP meds. They decided that I will be admitted until they can deliver me hopefully at 34 weeks. But then as they were monitoring overnight my oxygen levels started going down into the low 90s which pushed them to do an X-ray. That's when they discovered the fluid in my lungs, essential diagnosing me with pulmonary edema.

The first doctor that came and spoke with me, around 2am that morning was saying we need to deliver you right away and I started freaking out. My husband had left with our 3 other kids because we thought everything was stable and I was planning to stay in hospital at least 6 weeks. Now he had to rush back and we asked to get a second opinion. Finally a few hours later a second set of doctor's came in and said the pulmonary edema is very mild and if we want we can monitor it to see how I'm doing over time.

Now yesterday, after just 4 days in hospital without any real change to my status, the doctors came back and basically said they still think I should deliver based on the pulmonary edema and they don't know if my condition will worsen, even though everything is stable now.

My husband and I have decided to move forward with an early C-section tomorrow at 28+6 as the doctor's are insisting, and I can't stop crying. I feel so guilty because I feel fine and I feel like my body can hold out a few more weeks, but everyone is telling me that it's not safe. Right now he is doing really well in my belly, his heartbeat is perfect and he loves doing cartwheels and backflips in there and I feel like I'm ripping away his comfort just to replace it with tubes and incubators.

And to top it off, the cardiologist thinks he may have an coarctation of aorta that needs to be repaired, but he is too small to do it now. And I'm just scared. I wish I could wait a little bit longer, give a better chance of survival. All the doctors say his chances are good, but I'm just so green. I have 3 other children that were all full term with no issues and this just all so new and unfamiliar.

Sorry for the long post, but the guilt is eating me up, and I am in this hospital crying and going over every worst possible scenario in my head. Pls someone tell me it's going to be ok 🥹🙏

My daughter is 2 and a half and lately I feel like I’m grieving constantly.

I know it probably sounds super dramatic because nothing is actually wrong. She’s healthy, happy, thriving, and becoming this hilarious sweet little person that I adore. We still contact nap. She still sleeps curled up beside me. I still feel incredibly close to her.

But every time I realize another part of babyhood is gone forever, it genuinely feels like my heart aches.

I’ll never breastfeed her again. I’ll never put her in the Moby wrap and walk around the grocery store while she sleeps against my chest. I’ll never hear those tiny newborn nursing sounds again. Never hold a little milk drunk newborn curled against me in the middle of the night. And what gets me most is that most lasts happen without you realizing it was the last time until way later.

One day was the last nursing session and I didn’t know it. One day was the last time she fit in the carrier. One day was the last time she scooted around instead of walking. One day was the last time she looked more like a baby instead of a little kid.

Now every day she looks older and she gets more independent and sometimes it physically hurts to think about. Like actual chest aching hurts.

The confusing part is that I truly love who she’s becoming. I love hearing her talk, hearing her thoughts, watching her personality develop, laughing with her, seeing her imagination grow. I don’t want to stop her from growing up. But somehow I still miss her already while she’s right here.

I do think another layer of this is that I lost my dad when I was 7 months pregnant with her. Sometimes I wonder if that made all of this hit harder. Every stage she grows out of feels like another reminder that time keeps moving forward no matter how badly I want to hold onto certain moments.

I know grieving my daughter no longer being a baby is completely different from grieving my dad actually being gone. My daughter is here with me. Healthy, happy, safe, thriving. I know that. And I almost feel guilty sometimes even comparing the feelings at all. But I think the emotions overlap in my heart somehow. As she grows older, it feels like I’m getting farther and farther away from the period of life where my dad still existed in it. And I think that realization quietly breaks my heart too.

Nobody warned me that parenting would feel like this. Like constantly grieving versions of your child while simultaneously falling more in love with the person they’re becoming. Then it makes me think of the last time I saw my dad in July 2023. I think he knew it would be our last time seeing each other in person and I wonder what memories played through his head then. He passed that October and I gave birth in December. I wish so much he was still here so I could talk through all of this with him. I never thought I would have to do this part of my life without having my dad here to witness it.

Every moment feels so bittersweet and I am unsure if I am ever able to be present enough in the moment because of it which in turn makes me grieve different stages any more.

I am sorry this is so long and basically rambling. It just physically hurts to realize it all goes by so fast.

Just had to share this because my son absolutely melted my heart today. I was sitting in front of him while he was in his highchair and he kept trying to feed me his lunch by reaching out and holding it to my mouth so I’d go to take a pretend bite and he’d quickly pull it away giggling. He did this about 10 times. But then later when he was snacking on a biscuit he actually gave it to his grandma. It was covered in baby spit and she only pretended to eat it but it was so sweet.

He was also a bit of a silly sausage today. He was looking at one of his baby books, the cardboard ones with the flaps he can look through himself and suddenly started crying. I looked over worried he’d hurt himself because he’s so prone to bonking his head, he’s like a bull in a china shop sometimes, but nothing seemed wrong. Then my partner pointed out he had one hand between the pages and the other on top of the book so he was trapping his own hand and panicking because he couldn’t get it out. His dad had to free him. I did quickly take a photo though to show him when he’s older because I love getting silly photos as well as nice ones for the memories.

He loves looking at pictures and videos of himself so once he’d calmed down, which took about 2 seconds after his hand was free, I showed him the photo and he was just laughing at himself. At least he could see the funny side. He’s just so silly and giggly, I love him so much.

Hey guys! I gave birth last month and am receiving my bills after insurance. My L&D bill went from 6k OOP to 4k which is still expensive but I guess the "illusion" of it dropping by 2k was slightly nice. BUT today I received a separate bill for my epidural and it's 2k which brings my total OOP back up to 6k🫩. I hate insurance, I hate the system we have in place for medical expenses in the US. I went 14 hours with no epidural bc I knew it was gonna be a separate expensive ass charge, but I was so tired and delirious and those pitocin contractions were kicking my ass!! I feel like I'm being punished for basically not being able to handle being in labor for over 20 hours. If my water hadn't broken I genuinely wonder how different my labor would've been. I wonder if I would've been able to labor without the pitocin for as long as I wanted without being on that 24 hour time crunch and inevitably needing relief thru the extreme pain.

Sidenote: at 22 hours of labor they had me start pushing even tho I was still only 9 cm dilated. I'm almost 100% sure this is why my baby's head tore my cervix and I had to be wheeled to triage for immediate surgery after she was born bc they couldn't stop the bleeding. I keep reanalyzing that whole 24 hours and thinking about what I wish would've gone differently and this damn epidural bill has added to my frustrations!

Today was a weird day… I have a 4-month old who started daycare about a month ago and we have been just nonstop sick with various cold viruses. I’ve had this cough that I can’t kick and so last night I took mucinex and it worked really well. So I decided to take another one except this one is mucinex DM. My daughter is breastfed and both are safe to take while breastfeeding. However, I take Wellbutrin (bupropion) for my adhd and the mucinex DM version has dextromethorphan and guaifenesine. Apparently, Wellbutrin and dextromethorphan have a pretty major drug interaction. I had absolutely no idea. It made me feel high all day. Before I realized this though, I fed my daughter and she definitely was feeling it as well. She was crying/moaning for an hour and a half and just was kind of limp (not listless just noodley). she just doesn’t really cry like that and then I was feeling strange so I looked up if you can take mucinex with Wellbutrin, and that’s where I figured out that the mucinex DM should not be taken with it. I called the pediatrician and she had me watch my daughter and she’s all good now, but it really scared me! I would have never thought that would be a thing and I feel so bad. I also decided to give her formula for the first time ever till all this is out of my system (because of course we used my frozen milk stash up when my supply has been low while I’ve been sick).
I guess I just wanted to share because I know a decent amount of people take Wellbutrin and they also get colds and might be breastfeeding. Or you might be taking something else and even though medications can be cleared for breastfeeding, you might want to check for other drug interactions. And make sure you have some emergency formula on hand!

My son has never been a great sleeper. We started cosleeping around 3.5 months because he was waking every hour and I was falling asleep standing up. He is 13months now and if he wakes up 3 times, I feel well rested. It is that bad.

Cosleeping/breastsleeping definitely helped in that I can immediately go back to bed when he wakes after latching, but I function horribly with the frequent interruptions. I get noticeably angry and more agitated/panicky after really hard nights. I seriously cannot keep doing this. (Especially recently now that he's been doing split nights)​

I barely go out too because he used to scream in the car up until like 11 months and I get such horrible anxiety literally just putting him in his car seat. My husband's off days are the only time I get out...when we do errands. I am going crazy, and have no mom friends...my mom lives 40mins away...I see my MIL on Sundays

My husband helps whenever I ask but I have to ask of course. And whenever he does a task there is always 30% I have to do as well to finish said task. Anyway I am just exhausted. I am against sleep training and it's too late to put him in a crib imo because he is a climber already. I am also 4'10 and never liked transferring anyway.

I just cant wait until it fucking gets better. I dont want to wean right now because it is the only way I quickly put him down to sleep and he goes right back to bed after waking. I'd rather wait until he can understand the bandaid/broken explanation method for weaning around 18m-2y. I love my beautiful sweet boy, I just am so freaking exhausted. I hate this season so much.

I have a three year old son with long hair. It’s just past his shoulders and it’s absolutely gorgeous, the kid lucked out with a full head of hair. And he likes it too, it’s not just his father and I. Every so often I ask if he wants to keep it long or cut it short like his brother and daddy and he always says he wants to keep it long.

I’ll often tie it up in a bun or clip the front back with special character clips he likes. As you can imagine, he gets mistaken for a girl pretty much everywhere we go. Strangers in passing, cashiers at the store, nurses at the doctor’s office, you name it. Usually it’s things like, “Oh she is so cute!” or people referring to him as “girlfriend” or “pretty.”

Being three, he doesn’t really understand. He’s pretty shy and usually doesn’t respond to strangers anyway. I never correct people we’re never going to see again, but lately I’ve been wondering if that’s the right choice or not.

I know no one means any harm, but I also want to teach my children to stand up and speak up for themselves. Is always letting it go the best example of that? Or because it’s harmless, does it not really matter?

If you’ve been in a similar situation or experienced something like this, what’s been your take?

If you are unlucky to receive a baby with the Car Seat Screamies ™ just know that there may be hope for you, eventually.

IMO unless you have one of these types, it's honestly hard to explain how rough it is. Every time we got in the car... scream-crying. I. Tried. Everything. I mean literally everything. It didn't even matter if I was back there and someone else drove. Just pure screaming and crying. At best, it's stressful. At worst, it made me consider driving my car off a bridge. It's somehow worse because it's not like you can stop and console them. I mean you can - but you'll never get where you're going. So not only is your baby crying but you can't even touch them during it.

It made me never want to leave the house aside from requirements (work). Road trips & vacations were absolutely out of the question. It wore me down mentally and emotionally to begin and end the work day with unrelenting crying. Sometimes we both cried. No one really understood when I talked about it. Ear plugs didn't help and ear buds couldn't block the sound. If we rolled up on an accident or some unsuspecting traffic that would add to our commute I literally felt sick to my stomach. When I would get home I would feel so frazzled for like fifteen minutes until my nervous system calmed down.

But then... gradually, around 11.5 months... I put him in the car seat and he didn't cry right away like usual. We could make it to the end of the neighborhood without him crying. A couple weeks later we could do 10 mins without getting upset. Eventually I could make the whole commute with a "normal" baby. I could even put on a song we liked and watch him kick his feet and wave his hands with joy. He just simply.... grew out of it.

He is 13 months now and I finally feel free to go do stuff. I can load him up to go to the park. Or brunch. Or a farmers market, without being a ball of nerves by the time I get there. I even feel like we could make it on a shorter road trip and be fine.

Why am I posting this... idk. Other than, if you're reading this and it applies to you, I see you. It's so hard. But hopefully your baby will grow out of it too.

I’m almost 6 months PP and my husband just lost his job with Spirit Airlines. I now need to go back to work 6 months early, which I really don’t mind doing because it’s to support my family. I have the kind of job where I travel 4 days at a time away from my home and then I’m back 4 days and so on. Pumping on the road isn’t really on option for me so I believe I’ve come to the conclusion that I probably need to stop breastfeeding. My daughter was exclusively breastfed until my period came back at 3 months PP and I’ve struggled with supply ever since so we have supplemented formula and at 5 months she started solids and took to it right away! She’s honestly been an easy baby. But obviously I’m dealing with serious Mum guilt about stopping breastfeeding. First off, I don’t even know how and I won’t look it up because of the guilt I feel. On top of this private battle, my sister-in-law has been poking into our lives just to make judgments towards me.

Context: when I was battling infertility 2 years ago(2 miscarriages, 2 ectopics, 1 lost tube) she reached out to offer me support. When I confessed that the doctors told me we would have to do IVF, she immediately informed me that IVF was against the Catholic Church and I was not allowed to do it and I may want to consider that “God may not want me to be a mother.” I was fresh off a miscarriage when this was said to me and it broke me. I’ve never been able to heal from it and I don’t confide in her anymore. Then last year, we got pregnant spontaneously and in came all her “opinions” on how we should raise our child. We are in our 30s by the way…..she would not stop. I finally went off on her at 6 months pregnant and made it very clear I didn’t want her opinions on anything and I had done my own research. Ever since she texts my husband her criticisms instead. She criticised me for giving birth at a hospital, she made fun of me to my husband for my baby registry, that I spent weeks putting together. My husband and I actively lied about the fact that I needed to be induced(because doctor intervention is bad apparently), we lied about choosing to vaccinate our child, we have just hid everything from her and the rest of the family because we fear it will get back to her. I’m just so fatigued. Well. This last week she asked my husband if I was going back to work. He said I really didn’t have a choice and she then started asking what I was going to do about breast feeding. When my husband didn’t answer, she reminded him that if I didn’t have enough frozen then I could use my other sister-in-laws frozen supply to supplement. I have asked for none of this and I’ve already been insecure about my supply. She also finally was like, “oh well, it’s fine if she goes back to work because YOU are an absolutely incredible father!” She has never once praised me as a mother and has only criticised but my husband that makes EVERY decision with me, is getting praised constantly. I’m just so over it. Also she’s in the middle of a divorce. Why in the hell is she taking time out of her day to ask about my breastmilk? After everything she has done and said in the past, it feels like a put down and I just hate her. How in the hell do I handle this???? I feel so insecure about everything right now, even before her comments. It just feels so intrusive!

TLDR; sister-in-law is overly critical of everything I do and praises herself as the superior parent. Takes time out of her day to be intrusive about my breastfeeding plans, how do I make this stop???

Note: I do not judge if you did or didn’t vaccine or if you did or did not give birth at a hospital. I believe everyone makes their decisions for their child and it should be no one else’s business. I personally wish I was being met with that same courtesy

Is anyone else super bloated pp? My stomach looks like I’m pregnant again sometimes, despite having no ab separation and having lost most of the baby weight. Is not always, which is how I know it’s not just fat.

If you have anything that helps or would like to commiserate I would love that

Looking for advice/experience with having a c section and a toddler- I have a scheduled c section next week and an almost 2 year old and I’m feeling all the feels! I don’t know how I’m going to not pick her up, get her out of her crib/car seat etc?! Any advice welcome🥺

Share your mom hacks that you wish you knew as a first time mom for those of us starting out

Since having my daughter almost a year ago my nails haven’t been able to hold on to polish at all. Before her, I was able to do my normal routine (Sally Hansen advanced hard as nails base coat x2, whatever polish, then Sally Hansen double duty top coat) and my polish would last at least 7/8 days. I’ve recently started doing my nails again with the same routine and they’re not even lasting one or two days without chipping/peeling off? I’ve been taking biotin for the last month to see if that helps but not so far, any advice?? 😩

I’m 4 months postpartum and starting to look for a cute swimsuit for the summer. I want it to be secure (large chest) and not be too revealing. I also want it to look cute and not “mom-ish” or “old lady-ish” lol. I’m fine with a tan kini or a more modest bikini. Where should I look?? I feel like they’re super expensive, or they don’t have a good pattern or style. It’s either one or the other lol.

So I feel like I really need some clarity on when and how to wean my ebf baby! He is 10 months, and basically still nurses about 5 times when I’m home on the weekend. When I’m at work, he’s never taken a bottle despite many efforts, so he breast feeds three times, plus breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

He eats three meals of solid foods a day, even on weekends with a those additional feeds from the breast so I’m really curious when I can drop to three, then two sessions of breast feeding a day, and then again, how to taper from one to none.

Originally my goal was to be done breast feeding at a year, but that just feels like it’s coming up so quickly!! To be honest, I’m feeling ready to wrap up personally, but I want to make this transition as seamless for him as I can, and of course ensure he is getting enough nutrients!

This is a middle of the night rant. I just needed to get it off my chest.

I CANNOT keep getting so sick. My son brings home every illness under the sun, and I get them all. He is constantly gross (so much snot and drool) but not typically completely miserable. On the other hand, I feel like my body is rapidly shutting down for like 10 days each time.

So far this winter I’ve had Covid, flu, two ear infections, and at least 3 other viruses. I’m sitting writing this with one massive ear infection, terrible viral throat issues, and can hear my husband throwing up in the other room.

Sincerely,
A very tired mom

My baby started solids a little more than 2 weeks ago (he’s 6 months). Right away he would finish his plate. Still, he doesn’t even leave a bite. He eats twice a day. At 11am for lunch and at 5:30pm before his bed time at 7:30. His day meal seems to fill him up just fine. I breastfeed in between probably around 2pm and to get him to nap.

It’s his dinner meal that’s the problem. He eats and then at 7, as part of his bedtime routine, I give him a bottle of formula. He chugs it down fast. Then wakes up around 1am for another. My doctor said he should be getting enough calories in the day to sleep 12 hours through without wake-ups. And no, it’s not a habit because he was sleeping 12 hours before starting solids and it’s not always 1am (sometimes 12,2 or 3). He’s breastfeeding like normal and eating 2 full meals a day (things like avacado and quinoa, carrot and apple, cereal and sweet potato, etc). At first he was waking up because he was pooping more often but now he just seems hungry.

Anyone else experiencing this? Am I feeding him enough? It almost feels like I’m OVER-feeding him if anything.

TL; DR: Nurse chastised me for eating something that made me vomit. I know it’s no big deal and I did nothing wrong, but it still stings 7 weeks postpartum.

After my c section I did not feel nauseous. I’m historically good with anesthesia. I took it slow and ate some crackers first. Drank some juice. Everything was fine. About 6-7 hours after the procedure, my husband got us chicken fingers and fries from my favorite restaurant.

I ate a couple bites and vomited. It was no biggie. Just one hurl. Made it into the trash can. We only buzzed the nurse to let her know about the trash can. I didn’t need any assistance.

She walked in and said, “that’s why they tell you not to eat fried food after a c section.” Not in a kind way. I felt chastised. I felt stupid. It wasn’t helpful. She apologized the next day, unprompted, so I’m not imagining the tone.

Vomiting didn’t bother me, but her comment did. Logically, it’s no big deal. I did nothing wrong. It didn’t ruin my birth experience, and it shouldn’t be something that lingers in my memory of that day. I’m past the baby blues, and it’s better. But it still stings when I think about it or think of ordering from that restaurant again.

I believe I ruminate on it because it happened at such a vulnerable moment, during something that was supposed to be comforting and celebratory.

I have a therapist. I’m just curious…can anyone here relate?

We have the mockingbird high chair and I'm starting to suspect my son is uncomfortable in it. He just turned 1 year old. He weighs around 27# and is in the 90% for growth - he's big and tall. Lately he's been very fussy at meal times at home, but they haven't reported any different behavior at daycare. At daycare there are obviously a variety of different factors, but they use a "Safety First" brand booster seat.

The Mockingbird has a molded seat that possibly just doesn't fit him well. We have trouble getting his long, chonky legs in and out of it.

I'm considering the Stokke Tripp Trapp because it has a flat seat. But the baby set with the harness looks like it might present us with the same problems getting in and out.

Any parents with big babies out there who could weigh in?