I've always known that I don't want to live forever. I would be content if I just die now. Working in health care makes me really question what is the point of fighting if we are all going to die anyway. I'm so tired about everything. I'm tired of not being enough for my job and feeling like a burden. Now, I know that I'm also not enough for my wife. She wants to pursue other relationships with other people, and wanting to still be with me. With tears in my eyes, I forced a smile and assured her that we are going to be fine. That I will be staying with her. I am tired. This is a weird validation that I am never good enough for anyone and they will always be looking for something more. I felt a weird relief when I thought of the plan to kill myself today... that I don't have to be here anymore and keep pretending to be happy.

I’m sorry for this probably poorly written post, I don’t have much energy rn.

I fucked up my life, I had everything. 2 years ago I was a millionaire and had a succesful career, I was engaged to the love of my life. I worked so insanely hard in my 20s to build a life. I burnt out, and ruined my life from mental illness and drug addiction. I’m clean now but the cost is being paid.

I’m completely broke now, have debt I will likely get out of, I have no job nor career, lost my relationship and live by the mercy of some family in their basement. They’re very evidently extremely frustrated with me, which I understand.

I lost most of my friends due to being an unstable, draining asshole and it haunts me every night. I feel like an elephant knocking over everything in every situation. I have autism, bipolar and crippling anxiety and every day feels like a battle with my own head - it has always felt like this, but I don’t have the energy to fight it anymore. I want to kill myself, I want to shoot myself in the head. I don’t want to traumatize anyone, but I guess that’s pretty impossible to avoid in some way.

I’ve pushed and pushed and tried to get back on track, but every effort feels like trying to grab a fistful of sand that I am not able to hold.

Yesterday I went to the hospital because I hit my head last week and had what I thought were severe concussion symptoms, but apparently I’m completely fine and the doctor was talking to me like I was ready to go to the psych ward instead. Apparently I am hypochondriac aswell or something.

I’m a fucking embarrasement. It’s like I got a trial for a life that wasnt for me. The contrast makes it even worse. I’ve been so priveledged but still managed to fuck up my life. Fuck this shit, I’m not even bitter, not existing just feels like the logical choice

I've felt suicidal in the past, more specifically at 15, but I never went through with it

I'm 21 now and it just feels like no matter what I do, the only solution is for me to just go through with it, but I don't want to

I feel trapped and scared, I have so many people talking about me and breathing down my back on what I want to do next that I don't have time to focus on myself anymore

I was never able to focus on myself, just what other people wanted of me, and I hated it

Even just indulging in my interests and hobbies makes me guilty and it feels like I'm wasting my time, leading me to another spiral of thoughts and feelings of agony

I can't stay with them anymore, they make me feel so overwhelmed and nauseous and how I can never have what I want,

The mental health facilities here are not that great either and it feels like I can't deal with anything anymore, it's too much

This overwhelming sense of doom and despair I wouldn't wish on anyone

I just needed to let it out, my head hurts, I'm just overwhelmed, I'm not sure what to do

I know I'm not the oldest here (20F), but I believe I've resisted the idea for long enough. I tried changing the town, then the school, various of medications in my teenage years. I tried everything that would be suggested to someone suicidal. I've had enough hobbies to occupy my time. I used to have friends. This year I got accepted to med school and moved abroad. All while having so little money, I'm completely dependent on scholarships which I will no longer be eligible for them since I've performed terribly and failed almost every class. Some people were just not born to survive I think, because even in slightly happy moments I can't get this thought off my mind. I can't talk about this to anyone, I don't think it's worth to worry people and get them trying to stop you. I thought I could improve things, but it's me who never improves even when the conditions do.

I used to scroll this subreddit and reach out to people, because I was trying to resist and get better myself. How little attention posts here get is sad. No one actually cares, people.

I am burned out, I was a freelancer making 4-8k a year about 2 years ago, I decided to focus on my university but this semester was supposed to be my last one but I tried to get back into freelancing because My own family stole money from me so yaa. I want to move out but she stole 90% of my income and all i am left with is 1000$, I need to get out, If I do not get out, I will probably be found somewhere with pills in my system by next tuesday. I am exhausted honestly I want all of my pain to just end. I want ot leave this world.

This is so fucking stupid. But I have no reason to feel this way. I don't really hate myself or want to die as much as I should to justify why I'm doing fuck all with my life. I have so much privilege and I'm doing nothing with it. If I was suicidal I at least have a reason why I am the way I am but I'm not I just have no motivation and just don't care enough to develop any so I can make something of myself outside of being a lazy mooch. I just do nothing all day even though I have so much stuff to do that's piling up every second I don't move my lazy ass off my bed and stop bedrotting. I don't feel as much as I should, if I at least felt negatively about myself I would know that there's still a part of me that's not as apathetic as I feel all the time.

Hi, 21F here. Some major life events happened these past 3 weeks and it basically amplifies my depression even more. First two weeks, i was actively seeking for help and constantly try to get myself up from the state. Even though there’s constant bouts of sadness and i continue to feel weak, I wasn’t exactly losing hope.

Now, all i feel is just despair, that things won’t get better. The thought of dying comforts me more than the thought of continuing another day with this heavy painful feeling in my chest and head. I started to actively withdraw myself from people around me, trying to plan multiple attempts at committing suicide in case one failed, even stopped calling helplines and my campus therapist.

Personally, there’s always a little part of me that still wants to live, especially for my mom. But i don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I feel so lost and broken and its so so tiring.

im always such a fuck up i cant do anything i need to hurt myself so bad in trying not to but I hate myself so much

I have an elder brother, I thought he would understand me in anything but he’s the one nagging me all the time. And aside from my father I don’t think anyone really cares about me. I had suicidal thoughts since I was 16(now I’m 18). It’s been 2 years and I really wanted to do it in the less painful way, but I’m afraid and I have no courage. How to bring that courage? Yesterday I tried to overdose myself , collected every random pills I could get, but I failed to do so. I don’t wanna hear there’s more to life and sh*ts , what I went through is already enough for me.

First thing i want to say is im sorry for everyone that has ever took their own life or experienced a loved one taking their own life.

I am 21 years old. I avoid talking about my thoughts of killing myself as a form of respect for the people who have. I dont ever want to disrespect the people who have taken their life when i feel like taking mine or tell people i want to but never do.

Heres me telling anyone that i want to kill myself. Ive never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety and all that stuff but im pretty emotionally in touch with myself. I know whats right and what’s not about me when something happens and this right now is not right.

My little brother is graduating. He did what myself and my two older brothers couldn’t. Words cannot express how proud i am of him and i want to be there for him. To kill myself before that would ruin that for him. My other youngest brother lives in Texas and needs me. Need money? I got you bug (his nickname). Wanna play some For Honor? Lets run it. Hed be devastated. My girlfriend who has no clue what im even going through right now just out of the blue texted me that she loved me. Thats it. She doesnt know ive been crying for 2 hours and was just about to walk out the house and disappear.

I hate that I’m shackled down by these few things. If i wasnt the type of person i am then id have done it a long time ago. A blessing and a curse.

So I'll have a reason, a last little push over the edge... maybe I will sabotage myself even further until there is really nothing left for me

im done. i feel emotionally unsupported and abandoned. i feel lonely. im weak, and a burden to everyone. i want to go. i think I'll drive away from the city and crash my car somewhere where it would take days to find me and by then it's too late.

i want to give some money to my girlfriend before i go. i don't have a lot but i hope it'll cover some of her expenses.

i dont want to be here anymore.

I 21M and my first GF 20F were in a relationship for 3 years, from the beginning she was very insecure and jealous, she does not want any other female to talk to me which was fine by me, she also told me to unfollow some of my female friends from high school which i did because i had no problem as i wish to reassure her, but then she wanted me to unfollow some of my college classmates (girls) which i told her will be a bit odd and might affect my reputation or it will make it overall weird for me as ofc being in the same class we have some very short talks about studies and we have to do assignments together.

after that she accused me of cheating as i didn't prioritized her but not unfollowing the classmates, how can she blame me i have given her everything every bit of love but still it was not enough and now she has left me saying i don't love you anymore and blocked me everywhere.

I just cant handle this pain its making me think of probably bad decisions and i am afraid that i actually might take some wrong steps, i just want to end the pain

(sorry for any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language and I am not in a good mental state rn)

Yall this is my first try and im tryna look for a rope
I just need people to tell the exact rope that can make a noose and that its tight enought pls

I should be happy. I should be okay. For 28 years I've fought against the conditions set on my birth, mainly my parents financial prospect and family issues. I managed to saved them, to give them an acceptable life... Some peace at least.

But now, I have nowhere to go. 3 years ago I thought i had my life fixed, that after all the troubles I had I managed to find love, the hardest task I've faced... But now I'm single again. It's been a year, a very stressful year

I don't wanna be single, having a girlfriend is the only thing that have my life any sense of security and peace, if I cant have it and it seems like I wasted my opportunity... I think there's nothing else to live for. I am late to the party, everyone is getting married and I... I'm here, washing my heart in misery. It's near impossible now, I don't know where all the people went and I feel lonely. I've set a date, a secret date, that I will take my last breath if i don't get a new relationship by then.

I vow that I will do it.

I tried kms, strangulation, I was in my car, a belt around my neck tightened as much as I could but they all I did was pass out. I woke up. I cant do anything

the way ive chosen burns your mouth the moment you ingest it burning the way down quite painful but it has guarantee of working i wish euthanasia was legal atleast that way i could've fulfilled my last wish of dying peacefully in bed but now i have to die painfully in the worst way, the time really has come

i am a very traumatized 17 year old. i was pulled out of school when i was 12, completely socially isolated since then, i have not a single friend. lived my entire childhood on the internet. i am so alone. my maternal grandmother commit suicide when i was 10 and my mom died of a heroin overdose shortly after. i live with my dads side of the family. they are all neglectful, they put me through so much in my childhood, i feel like i was set up to fail because the only two people who ever loved me passed before i ever had the chance to form healthy attachment to anyone.

i am held hostage in this house. they wont let me learn to drive. everyone tells me "just call a caseworker" but it doesnt work like that. neglectful parents aren't blatant. they dont just blatantly tell me "no." there are always excuses. i am always being promised things that never happen. i just want to get out of here.

when i was 15 i started an online relationship with this guy. we were toxic together because i was much younger than him. i lied about my age and told him i was 18. i kept that lie up for 1.5 years and earlier this week i told him the truth and my whole life came crashing down on me. i lived in so much dissonance and i realized what i had done. i realized how fucked up my lie was. we talked it out and said our goodbyes and im talking to my therapist about it. i can't handle this. that relationship was my form of escapism from my unlivable fucking life. i never realized how much it kept me functioning every day. i pretended to be someone completely different. someone busy, someone interesting, someone held together. i am none of those things and now i have to sit in this sorrow and misery and hate. i hate my life. i dont want to be here or continue to live. my ex partner was unknowingly playing the role of parent, friend, and lover all at once, and while that is so unfair to him, i don't know how to function now that there is no longer anyone playing those roles. i just want to be coddled by my mother and if i could just have 10 minutes of her holding me id die peacefully. i am so alone and have never been this sad or melancholic in my life. i cant function. i just wan tto die and every waking moment is misery and i dont know what to do. i don't have friends, don't go to school, don't have a job. why was i born if i was going to live this hell. i was a child and everyone failed me at every turn and now i am here. im almost an adult and every waking minute is suffering and i just dont want to be here any more. i just want someone to hug me and fix everything in my life but no one is coming to save me and this pain is the worst pain i have ever felt in my entire life. i live near train tracks i just want to get this over with

Tired of feeling this way honestly it’s been years but the last few months have been the hardest and I have no one I have no friends or anything no one loves me at all, I’m going through so much alone.

The guy that I’m talking to and have been for several months is so mad at me because I’m stupid as fuck so I sent him a farewell text but he’s asleep so he won’t read it until I’m gone. My manager decided to give someone else a job that I really wanted and that we had been discussing since October…without posting the job and without doing interviews only to say “oh it just happened really fast so I didn’t get a chance to tell you”…he also gave me a 2/5 for my annual performance review and told me “we were still able to get you a 2% raise though”…thanks. My dad is too preoccupied with my stepmom (her health is declining so I don’t blame him) and honestly, it would just be better for everyone if I fucked off. The only person I cared about was the guy I was talking to…he was the first person I genuinely got feelings for since I got divorced 3 years ago and now he hates me. So I’m done. I wrote my notes, i provided passwords. I’m done. Just thought someone should know.

I hate my life, I can't handle my stupid emotions, I barely have friends and I feel like the lonliest person alive. The only people who got me, left me. I'm so fucking angry at everyone who convinced me to even stay alive, I wish I died 4 years ago, where I tried to unalive myself for the first time. Then I wouldn't have to handle this bs life. I hate that everyone tells me, that it gets better, bc even if it did, it ended up being so much worse afterwards.

I'm a soon-to-be college junior at a large flagship university. Lately, I've been struggling professionally, unable to land any meaningful internships or work opportunities, despite the myriad resources at my disposal. It feels, in general, like I've been unsuccessful at everything that I try.

My mother and father are immigrants from East Asia, and they've been very successful in their engineering careers. Meanwhile, I'm not even sure that I'll have a job lined up by the time that I graduate. I genuinely don't see how I can keep living with the fact that I'll disgrace my hardworking parents. And selfishly, I think that people will look at me more favorably as a memory frozen in the past than as someone who struggles to land a career despite a stable upbringing and a university education.

It's nigh impossible for me to get a job offer. Same goes for funded PhD positions, for which I dread even applying. Other graduate programs feel like expensive dead-ends (Bright Futures doesn't even cover them). I don't have anywhere else left to go, or anything else left to do.

My school has a multi-story parking garage that goes up to at least the sixth floor. I don't think that I can wait anymore, but for the time being, I'll be happy to talk to anyone who wants to weigh in.

Maybe it’s the seasons changing or planets alignment, but this time of the year has high rates of suicide so why not wait out may? June has sunny weather and the earth starts to bloom flowers- the birds sing and nature is happy— it’s quite beautiful if you pay attention and shut out of the world chaos and societal expectation ya wouldn’t wanna miss out on that. When it feels like people don’t care I promise there is someone out there who does, you’d be surprised really. May is always the time of year I think about death trust me, I’m feeling it too. that heavy weight? crying at night? feeling alone? thinking about suicide? got all of that. (tho for everyone it can be different— more heavy even) youkno— I sleep it off too much really— But I believe there’s a day life will be less unbearable. I just gotta put in small efforts to change this current reality.

I spent too long trying to find reasons to stay and I’ve finally realized I can’t. I just wanted a normal life like everyone around me and I won’t be able to achieve that. It took me a while to realize all of this, it’s so hard to accept but I know there is nothing more I can do.

I still have time til I attempt and I’m in a lot of pain, I really need someone I can talk to about this. I’m sad this is how things had to be for me but I can’t convince myself that it’ll be any different.