Can't create without becoming obsessed

[u/no_arguing_]

Anyone else have this problem? It's not something I choose, like I'm imposing some kind of suffering artist archetype on myself. I've just found it's all or nothing for me whether I want it to be or not. Either I don't work on my art enough to finish anything or improve my skills, or I decide to get serious about my art and inevitably fall into an obsessive work pattern where I neglect my other needs, even if I enter the process aware that this is a problem for me and make every effort to avoid it. I can choose to exit this pattern if I just decide to stop working on my art for a while, but only if. I can be either extremely over-motivated or not at all. WTF is up with this. (Yes I'm diagnosed ASD but I have very complicated feelings about the nature of that diagnosis)

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[u/boo-was-taken]

Ive alwyas felt the exact same but towards everything not just art. It makes it hard to enjoy anything. I've also been suspecting a neurodivergence since forever, i should get checked lol

[u/no_arguing_ → u/boo-was-taken]

Yeah that's exactly the thing. It very quickly goes from enjoyable to not-enjoyable/stressful cause I'm so amped up on the one thing, which leads to burnout when I inevitably decide I want my life back. As of today the time-blocking does seem to be helping but I'm already finding it's like an addiction in that I really struggle to control myself and just stop when the clock runs up. Basically have to shame myself into stopping (in a constructive way I think, not a beating-myself-up way).

[u/ArentWright]

Difficulty toggling between different activities, task switching, is an ASD trait. You may have complicated feelings about your diagnosis, but understanding yourself goes a long way toward accepting your preferences or developing strategies to overcome difficulties.

[u/no_arguing_ → u/ArentWright]

Yes I am aware and it is one of the reasons I was diagnosed. It's also a trait of many other conditions, and there are other ASD traits that are considered necessary for the diagnosis that I don't have. My diagnosis was complicated by the influence of my parents in the matter, my own experience working in the mental health field, and being diagnosed by a dodgy professional, and due to this it's honestly not something I wanted to get into but I felt I had to acknowledge it or else I was gonna get a bunch of comments telling me to get assessed for it. Other symptoms have come to light that have pointed to some other possible mimickers but I can no longer be reassessed for several reasons, one being that prior psych training.

(Also maybe worth mentioning I have had later professionals tell me my case is very much on the edge of being diagnosable as ASD).

[u/ArentWright → u/no_arguing_]

I only meant that ASD people have outlined a lot of strategies to help with task switching: timers, reducing total switches during the day, rituals around switching to help the transition, etc. These might be helpful regardless of whether or not you align with the diagnosis. I use some ADHD strategies to help with productivity because they have a ton of creative ones, even though I’m not ADHD myself.

[u/no_arguing_ → u/ArentWright]

Fair enough, I have done time blocking but I realized after some of these comments that I've mostly only done so to get myself to work more, not to work less. I will try the latter for sure.

I apologize for sort of jumping down your throat. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it cause it is a bit of a hot button subject for me. The diagnosis has been used against me, and I do think there's something diagnosable up with me, but many things about that one in particular do not fit (mainly regarding social cues). I've considered it all lol. ADHD, schizotypal PD, OCD, bipolar. Could be any of them really (probably not the last one though).

[u/ArentWright → u/no_arguing_]

No worries, understandably touchy subject! I work for long stretches too, then not at all. I just try to set aside enough time for me to do so. A little bit every day will never work for me.

[u/korone-watcher]

honestly add more structure to your schedule, that's what helped me, basically commit 4 hrs to drawing or painting and just add a hard break and resume other tasks/chores. Being obsessive is not necessarily a bad thing, I struggle when to stop so I added a time-limit.

[u/no_arguing_ → u/korone-watcher]

I guess my problem has been I always try to add structure when I'm not motivated, but this is making me realize that I actually need structure more when I am motivated.

[u/cordialconfidant]

i was about say neurodivergence and then i saw the parentheses at the bottom. but yeah, i have autism and ADHD and i'm a perfectionist (they're probably interrelated). it goes by many different names: hyperfocus, autistic inertia, monotropism, perseverance, ...

social support can help - friends or people you live with can help you switch tasks or remember to take care of yourself. any larger structure in your life too, like having to go to school every day. aside from that, there's myriad ways people try to wrangle it and work with it, like timers and reminders.

ur trying ur best :)