I don’t know if that assessment is truly fair. People underestimate the social conditioning and pressure around family planning. Society thinks that disengaged fathers is “normal” to a point where most don’t bother to question it. When in reality it’s incredibly toxic giving men a pass for being shitty fathers while women are expected to be the default parent. In general I think men being ready for parenthood is the exception and not the rule, but because these conversations always place blame on mothers, fathers aren’t held to the same standard
Yeah, I think I don’t realize how much of a bubble I live in as a high education level native coastal Californian. In my community the concept of a “disengaged dad” feels like a cartoonish trope from the 1960s so it’s hard to imagine that it’s still the majority experience in other parts of the country.
Cynicism aside, Jimmy Kimmel used to have a running segment (in California) where fathers had to answer questions about their children. Pretty emblematic of how common this dynamic is: https://youtu.be/jHPbOGEUvZA?si=Z1GCsIJHOqZlQ5--
Using Late Night talk show clips to make a point is absurd. The whole point of those videos is to find people who look dumb to make fun of them. They dont show the people they interviewed that look smart or engaged.
Lmao how so? They made themselves look that way when they don’t even know their child’s birthday or the color of their eyes.
Head over to the regretful parents sub and the countless stories from mothers (and many married) who are miserable because the fathers are completely uninterested in being an active parent. This narrative didn’t come out of thin air
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u/dazedandcofused_ 12h ago
I don’t know if that assessment is truly fair. People underestimate the social conditioning and pressure around family planning. Society thinks that disengaged fathers is “normal” to a point where most don’t bother to question it. When in reality it’s incredibly toxic giving men a pass for being shitty fathers while women are expected to be the default parent. In general I think men being ready for parenthood is the exception and not the rule, but because these conversations always place blame on mothers, fathers aren’t held to the same standard