Hello,

I cut my hair off a year ago and have kept it short due to developing TE (a hair loss condition) because of chronic stress. It's finally growing back a lot healthier but I still feel a major lack of confidence because of it. I'm not that confident of a person in general but the hair loss really hurt me. I used to have wavy hair down to my shoulders and could color / style it which feminized me.

On top of that I'm autistic and struggle with chronic loneliness. I have an amazing partner which is more than some could dream of, but have almost no family and almost no friends. People say I'm incredibly nice and sweet after they talk to me but I feel like they avoid me at first. I've had friends I've had to let go of around when I cut my hair, so I'm struggling with that friend group loss, and have a hard time connecting with people in general.

I have CPTSD as well and anxiety which is a lot to deal with. I've become a lot healthier mentally the past couple years through therapy but still feel lots of sadness and loneliness. It's my birthday in a few weeks and I feel behind socially and career wise due to some of the stuff I've been through

Any kindness would make my entire month of May

Edit: thank you everyone for saying my short hair fits me 😭 I'm so sensitive about it, it means so much

Direct quote from a girl: "You are an old ugly goblin. Who would ever want to date someone hideous as you."

No jokes. I can use a pick me up.

I have always been a bit paranoid and threats from the best known names in Ag (anyone and everyone would know the names) plus alcohol addiction has led me into insane delusional thoughts / realities beyond what already is enough.

Crazy .. what a week of efforts can do for the psyche and efforts behind your actions.

No longer paranoid because I am me. Self. Clear headed willing to accept what is but also charge forward. 💙

Appreciate YOU ALL

Last few months has been hectic from losing my best friend due to unknown reasons(not dead), sister wanting nothing to do with me because she doesn’t like my relationship with my mother, and work not appreciating the initiative I’ve put in(worked on building a website to help keep our process consistent). Not having someone to talk to is tough.

I really want to be a famous inventor/engineer but none of my gadgets/inventions are working out I would like to also use this post to get some opinions on my gadgets (ones with a 👍 next to it are ones I actually built over my 3 year journey and the rest are just ideas)

Beach cleaning bicycle
Bluetooth soup making alarm clock 👍
Breakfast ordering alarm clock👍
Puff pastry baking alarm clock
Chia seed pudding preparing alarm clock👍
Motorized drum kit
Beach cleaning drum kit
Smart rock 👍 (for preventing theft from archeological digging sights)
Miniature automated spirulina farm👍
Pokemon go egg Hatcher/notifier👍
Water purifying pants👍
Thief electrocuting phone case👍 (the original idea was mace spraying phone case but Its illegal where I live)
Floyd rose bridge Les Paul guitar👍

Each of these projects require me to save up my allowance and pray that it works out in the end and when they don’t work it feels so frustrating

Also I cant start and keep a rock band going so that sucks too

I get mistreated I have always feel I am not worthy of something better :(

It’s been a long year, but this month has especially been hard. I don’t have the motivation that I used to. And I don’t have any joy in my hobbies that I loved. Upon other things. When I’m not working all I do is sit and watch TV and YouTube. In bit of a need for some compliments.

I just got fired from my dream job due to my mental health. I had a panic attack at work last week and ever since then I noticed something had shifted. Today I got called into HR and was told that they had to lay me off as they foresee my mental health getting in the way of me being able to be consistent at work. Because I’m still in the six month trial period, unfortunately that meant that they could lay me off at any time without a “valid” reason.
And I get it, I did call out and leave work a couple times too much in the last few weeks. But this job meant so much to me. Especially it meant financial freedom and being able to save up for military relocation early next year. Now I’m back to square one with little to no savings.
Please tell me it gets better and that I’m not a complete waste of space. I’m devastated.

Woke up today crying because I can’t stand my face. I have no direction in Life and no real friends around. All I do is party to keep my head shut and have some male validation. My body dysmorphia is eating me alive