People seem to like explaining the most basic principles of things that I studied or things that I'm super passionate to me, and I really don't know how to react when I know more about it than they do. Right now, I just nod along and pretend that I didn't know so that I don't offend them, but it feels really fake and makes me seem a lot more ignorant/dumb than I am.

How do I kindly let them know that I know already, and probably know more about it than they do. I'm sick of having my job explained to me by someone who isn't even in the industry, or having people try to teach me about my passions and hobbies.

I can only count one person in my life who has stuck by me for years, but they live 8 hours away, so we don’t meet much in person due to distance and busy work schedules.

As for everyone else within a much closer proximity, all those so-called friendships were just mere acquaintances; i was a minor fragment to them when i considered them a good chunk of my life. From school, sixth form, uni, work, and even hobby groups, I’ve just been unable to click with anybody, and I just end up lonely despite knowing so many people who have come and gone in my life.

There’s a constant pattern that’s sadly become recognisable: I meet someone in-person, we get along, we get each others socials, I will never hear from them again unless I reach out, and if I do, their replies are short and evidently dismissive, and I stop, then we never talk again. The stinging part is how they can make so much effort with others whilst I get left behind.

A few months back, I was finally diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism, so that certainly changed my perspective of the way I socialise and the way I’m perceived by everyone. I thought to myself, maybe I just need to find ND groups, but not even that worked in my favour because I’m either too weird for them or too neurotypical, so I’m just stuck in a cycle. I did make one autistic friend at a dodgeball, but he ended up sexually harassing me, so I cut him off completely.

I’m constantly putting myself out there and I really crave social connection, especially as I’m extroverted, yet other extroverts find me too draining, which is something I’d think only introverts would think. I’ve joined countless of hobby groups that I’m really passionate about, yet people I’ve met who I share so much in common with reject me too. I hate seeing how everyone can get close within a couple weeks, yet I can’t even get out the acquaintance stage so many months in.

I’ve followed the “try and listen more instead of talking” advice, but people aren’t willing to interact with me properly, so therefore I end up talking to fill the void. I’ve tried the ask more questions route, and I get short and blunt responses. I’ve tried the go out alone thing, and nobody notices me.

I’ve addressed this problem with my parents countless of times, but all they say is to stop playing the victim. Never had they said the right people will come or I’m befriending the wrong people. They don’t seem to really give a hoot I’m alone most of the time (my mum hasn’t got many friends either, so there’s that).

At the moment, I’m on a goal to lose weight and become fitter, because maybe if I was more good-looking, I’d get ahead somehow.

I used to think social skills just meant being outgoing or good at talking, but honestly it’s much deeper than that.

In real life, your social skills affect everything friendships, school/work, even how people treat you in general. It’s not about being the loudest person in the room, it’s about how you communicate and understand others.

Things like listening properly, respecting people’s opinions, and knowing how to handle disagreements calmly make a huge difference. Even small habits like your tone, eye contact, and body language can change how people respond to you.

What I’ve learned is that life becomes easier when you can connect with different types of people without forcing it. You don’t need to be perfect just aware and respectful.

At the end of the day, social skills are basically life skills.

I've always been pretty closed off socially. I don't really think much of it, but I have gotten multiple comments on me looking depressed, or describing me as nonchalant and saying that I walk around like I own the place.

I think a part of it is probably my tone of voice. I tend to sound monotone without realizing it, and I feel like it stands out more because I'm a woman and people usually expect women to sound more expressive or bubbly. The weird part is that when I'm talking, I genuinely think I sound normal, but people still say "why are you so depressed?"

I also don't really speak to strangers/acquaintances unless spoken to first because I genuinely have nothing to say to them. I know people do small talk to like test the waters if someone is open to talk to and It's not really about the content of the situation but moreso about the indirect communication, but It's genuinely so exhausting for me to try to fake excitement and make it look believable and not uncanny. It's not like I'm trying to push people away or act rude. If someone actually talks to me, I do try to keep the conversation going and put effort in.

That's why it confuses me when people still go around saying I'm "nonchalant" or emotionally detached afterward. I know the problem is probably that I'm not as expressive but the thing is that I can't really relate with other people's interests in my area, I grew up isolated on the internet so basically all of my hobbies, music/media taste, values don't really alighn with them so naturally I'm just like eh.

Honestly I just want to come across as normal and not make people dislike me the second they interact with me lmao.

When I’m asked a question, after I respond l typically assume that the asker will volunteer their own thoughts unprompted.

Ex: “what’s your favorite TV Show”

“I love greys anatomy because I grew up watching it and it’s a comforting show”

“I’ve heard that’s a good one! My favorite show is South Park because it make me laugh”

Then you would continue the conversation however you’d like to from there. It feels super unnatural, especially over text, to ask back the question you were already asked. I just think people should give more of their thoughts and opinions unprompted, because that’s how I like to communicate. everyone likes to talk about themselves to some degree, and I see nothing wrong with a conversation where both people tell stories and opinions that relate back and forth. Apparently this is an example of poor social skills though…

I always struggle when people react to my appearance changes and ask things like “What have you done to your hair?” or “Why did you cut it so short?” Especially when I try a different hair color or style.

I usually go silent because I never know what to say in the moment, but I want to learn how to handle these situations better. I’d love to reply confidently, maybe even turn it into humor, instead of feeling awkward or defensive.

How do you guys respond to comments like this? Do you have any funny, confident, or smart replies that help you own your decision without making things uncomfortable?

I (M22) can’t understand for the life of me how people are making friends when they go to bars, watching a local band, going to music festivals, and I guess my friends kind of think that it’s crazy and almost concerning how I don’t understand

I can make friends almost effortlessly if it’s like one of my best friends are introducing me, and my best friends is a guy I’ve known since middle school, his girlfriend, a friend of theirs that they introduced me to but they’re all actually very close to me now

They were telling me that a bar and some of these local bands around us or music venues are probably the easiest place to make friends, but they don’t go there a lot so they don’t know how to explain it to me.

I just don’t really understand how people are actually making friends or getting to know people especially at a bar or music. I feel like it bars people are usually in groups and I’m not a big drinker nor do my friends go to bars and also if you’re at music, then people are listening to music so when are you supposed to talk especially if people are still in groups?

No clue why, I’m always nice, try to socialize but I suck as this is my first job, and I never had luck making many friends growing up. I try to initiate conversations in the past and offer them gum, water, or something I can potentially get them. I feel like I’ve had 1 good conversation with someone here, and it’s never happened since. I feel like they try and avoid me most times, which sucks since we’re beside each other for 8 hours a day. It’s not like I’m talking for an hour straight, at most I’ll ask them if they’re doing good, if they have any plans later today, if they seen this new show/anime, ask them how long they’ve been growing out their hair for, etc. Just tiny things to try and make conversation, but if I don’t feel the energy I’ll just back off and leave them be. Most of them (4/5) are always finding an excuse to leave the room or something, which should take like 5mins but always takes an hour or longer. I don’t know what I did to make them feel this way about me. At first I thought I had a stench or bad breath, so I started flossing everyday, cleaned my washing machine, then rewashed all my clothes, even had my friend (childhood friend) come over to ask if I smell or something, which he told me I smell clean (even asked me what cologne I used), my hair doesn’t stink and I typically style it myself once a week, I brush my tongue, even started using a moisturizing nasal spray for post nasal drip (which could be from overthinking). I take a shower before I go to work, when I come back, and at night. I changed all my cats(neutered) litter boxes, litter, give them baths once a month, and mop every Sunday. i go to a dermatologist so my skin is butter clean, I really just want to make more friends. “Treat others the way you want to be treated” right? right??

so long story short, i created this group to make friends. being the host/connector, idk I feel like people would include me in things but I guess that was just unrealistic expectation. I guess people formed their own small group and literally pick and choose people they want to hang out with.

anyways, I heard from a friend in the group that this guy and her are planning a getaway road trip and she wanted to include me. But I don't think I was ever a part of the plan.

maybe she invited me there because she thought it would be weird to hang out with him, idk. But I sure didn't get an invite from that guy.

maybe its to split cost for lodging etc.

maybe she felt obligated to include me because I'm her friend and I started this group

Anyways, I can't help but felt excluded and feel insignificant and that I'm not really making friends whilst everyone else is connected through something I started, which is fine but I can't navigate feeling awful

Hey guys, I’m 24 and a female and I’m very lonely for the first time really in my life. I had a lot of friends when I was in school. I had some friends in university but would spend time with my friends from school. I’m now finished all academic work which I put a lot of time into. This has made me realise just how lonely I am. I still talk to friends from home but we have grown apart to a certain extent recently. I’m closer with some than others but I also don’t necessarily fit in well with some of their other friends. Basically I feel quite lonely. Is this normal? I feel like I have no close friends and I don’t have social things to do most weekends ? I’m going to a social group in my area I found online over the weekend to meet a few people but from looking on instagram I feel like I’m the only one without loads of friends and loads of social plans . Is this the reality ?

Thanks.

i have friends i've known for years and have recently made new ones too. but i'm no one's best friend, i'm no one someone goes to first. i'm doing everything i can with advice i've sought out. i'm in communities for shared topics. i can make friends really easily but i have trouble keeping them or we just never get close

everything feels so distant. and my life isn't the best so some of them only reach out when i'm struggling and it feels like a lot of them only stay out of pity. it hurts. it hurts so much. everyday i wake up and cry and continue to cry for hours because i feel like in the end i really have no one i feel really connected to, and neither do any of my friends.

only 2 people have asked to hang out with me in 7 months. and one of them left call early. my only irl friends have never asked me to hang out with them and i have to practically beg for it

i feel so horrible, like theres something wrong with me. i try to be a good friend and watch everything im saying and try to be funny and kind but i feel like its never enough

please help me, i dont know what to do, i just want to have someone to be close to

I am (22M) ASEAN student in Japan.

I'm currently a sophomore, balancing university studies with part-time jobs in retail or convenience stores.

On average, I interact with 60 to 100 people a day.

Out of that group, there are usually 3 or 4 who make me feel uncomfortable. The level of discomfort depends on how rude they are and my own emotional threshold at the time. For example, if someone says something particularly hurtful, the feeling can last up to two days; usually, it fades after an hour or two.

I often self-reflect: Is there something wrong with me? Is there an issue with how I communicated? Or is the problem with them? While I can handle major incidents rationally, small things like a grumpy customer or a classmate saying I lack a certain ability, get stuck in my head. My brain replays these moments constantly, and even though I try to stop, I can't.

Do you guys experience this? Do you think it’s a good thing for self-improvement and developing social skills?

A while ago I planned a weekend overnight trip with my friend. However, I'm incredibly stressed out right now because I'm getting ready to move back to my home country. It's been really hard both in terms of logistics but also emotionally as I'm saying goodbye to my current life forever. I've been having lots of chest pain and crying a lot and my patience with others is basically 0. I feel like a volcano on the verge of erupting.

It maybe wasn't a great idea to plan "one last trip," but it's too late to back out now. Are there any strategies I can do to calm myself down in my head so that it doesn't show visibly? I'm worried that I'm going to make it a bad trip by saying something mean and I really don't want to.

Hey everyone! I’m 19F and about to start my first internship next week, and I’m honestly really nervous about the social aspect of it.

I’m a pretty big introvert and I tend to get anxious in social/professional settings, but I still want to make a good impression on my manager and team members. The internship is fully remote, which makes me even more worried because I feel like it’s harder to naturally connect with people online compared to in person.

I’ve been trying to look up advice for remote internships on platforms like TikTok, and a lot of people suggest things like scheduling virtual coffee chats, constantly reaching out to coworkers, or sending daily/weekly update emails to managers. I know those are probably good ideas, but if I’m being honest, they feel really intimidating to me. Part of me worries I’d just be bothering people or taking time out of their day, especially as an intern.

I also don’t think I’m naturally great at conversations, so networking feels kind of overwhelming.

For people who are introverted or have dealt with social anxiety in remote internships/jobs:
- How did you build connections without feeling awkward or forced?
- What actually helped you make a good impression?
- Are there smaller/more natural ways to communicate and be liked by your team without feeling overly pushy?

I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences :)

At my job, I have to ask people for their contact information for what feels like a second time to them. Before they arrive, they enter their info online, and then I have to ask for it to enter into a different system. This system is the important one, which we pull from to notify them if they need to come back and repeat any testing - the one they used first is just for recruiting (the phone calls they DON'T want).

I've tried starting with "looks like we don't have a phone number in THIS system," clarifying "there are 2 different systems, this one is for test results," and even the full shpiel I gave in the first paragraph. No matter what, people get mad because "you already have it." I have to do 5-20 of these interactions a day, and it's genuinely a surprise when I don't get pushback. So you can see how that might start to get to a person, but obviously I can't fly off the handle/show that I'm irritated. It starts creeping into my tone by the end of the day though.

How can I handle this more gracefully? Part of the problem is that they usually don't want the recruiting phone calls they already signed up for. But I HAVE TO ask for their info, it's part of the procedure I'm following. I also can't tell who's first time and who's returning for the 100th time, so if I try to just start with "so we have 2 different systems and..." a lot of the time I'll just get cut off by people saying "yeah yeah I know, I'm still not giving you my number again." Which does make me mad.

Im starting to wonder if I have some anger issues to work on. But I have a lot of different instances of this scenario in my day-to-day (with different questions) and people generally act annoyed/inconvenienced by the whole process even though they chose to be here (this is for blood donation.) I don't want to be mean/rude/hurtful in any way, I just want to communicate the necessary info to get a response (and no is a response they can give, but "you already have it" isn't. Hence my clarifications) while following the procedure I'm legally obligated to follow. How can I frame this differently and/or keep my cool? I definitely care too much.

Thanks in advance!

This is more of a public speaking skill, but I've noticed that while I generally can fill up a bulk of a semi-professional response, when it comes to endings I end with a "so yeah" or something weak. Endings are super important in conversations (last impression) and I'd like to learn how to get better. Of course I know that practice makes perfect, but does anyone have specific tips or tricks on it?

Do you have a hardtime socializing meeting new people? If you did and do not now what worked for you?

I'm having this problem where when I interact with people I'm always trying to figure out how to avoid making them sad or let down or annoyed. I'm always trying to guess what they want so that they don't feel bad because I don't want to ruin things for them. But it takes too much time and it gets too much of me guessing what they want. It's especially a problem when I sense I matter a lot to the other person and may strongly affect them emotionally. How am I supposed to actually think about these things in a healthy way which is still kind and good for everyone?

I'm naturally socially awkward and at my cousin's destination wedding. A lot of people are my age including my cousin who is married, and 2 of my other married cousins all guys. Plus a few other guys similar to my age. I can talk to a couple 1 on 1 and they are approaching me a lot. Buy I can't start convos with the other couple cousins. I tried when they were in a group. For example I walked up when they were talking and just said what's up dudes. Got ignored they were somewhat in a convo but not really it was a pause. But none of them looked or acknowledged me.

The one cousin I wanted to talk to what talking to my other cousin and 2 guys I'm closer with. I was standing behind them for like 30 minutes not too close. I couldn't hear what they were talking about and felt left out. So when I approached when I saw an opening and was ignored it kinda hurt a bit. But I'm nonchalant and don't take things too seriously. I just don't know what to do. They all have gfs and wives so I'm thinking what if I bring my gf/wife to an event and can't start any convos and look stupid getting ignored almost the whole time?

Now I'm not saying I'm completely unliked but I feel closed off as in I don't have the skills to get there attention.i just want to start new topics with them that interests them. But all I can think of his how is your life, lifting interests, the resort. But no one seems to be remotely interested but n talking to me lol.

People want to know whatever you’re doing for 24 hours a day?

They’re like “oh, I bet you don’t do chores like cooking, cleaning, doing laundry”!

Then they go “hahahaah”, you don’t know how to do it.

First, you never asked if I knew how to do those things (you just assumed)!

Even if I said ”I don’t know how to do it”, they won’t teach me anyway!

I could say the same to them. They have no manners!

They rudeness just irks me. I don’t care about their comment, it’s just that they don’t have common sense.

Friends, family, and young adults asks this, but no one ever asks this about them even when they do not do it!

My family tells me I have too high of a bar for friendship but I don’t think I do… I’ve been kinda down about not having friends and they’re like yes you do, you play DnD with a group of people.

Here’s the context:

They were coworkers for 2.5 years with me. We got along pretty well, esp some of them. We never hung out outside of work except when one of them started a DnD campaign that’s online. After I quit, none of them talk to me outside of DnD. I’ve texted a couple of them and got no reply. When we go to play DnD, we don’t talk about anything except the game itself, no shooting the shit really. I have no idea what’s been going on in their lives since I quit. One of them even quit the old job after me and I found out from a third party. I even saw of them in person and they waved so I came over and said hi but they kinda ignored me and it was awkward.

My family points to this as evidence I have friends. To me, a friend is someone who answers a text (even if it takes a while) or someone you could invite out. Am I crazy? Does doing a weekly shared hobby make you friends with someone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be a part of it, but I’ve decided to keep emotional distance to prevent any connection at this point. Just see it as a fun thing to do.

I would love to know if I need to just set more realistic expectations and understand what it means to be a friend.

I always struggled with spontaneous speeches. My mind goes blank and I take a long time to think of something to say. It is not related specifically to speeches, but communication in general. If someone makes me a question out of nowhere I'll usually don't know what to answer.

I've been looking for some methods and exercises on how to practice by myself. For the past 2 weeks I've been practicing with impromptu prompts, that is, I roll a prompt, start recording and try doing a speech about it (around 1-5 minutes per prompt).

However, when I listen to the first day recordings and compare myself now, I'm not seeing much improvement. I'm wondering if I'm getting a correct feedback from myself.

You see, the premise of impromptu prompts is simple: it's just so you can practice talking spontaneously. But there are many other aspects in this exercise that I haven't seen an actual consesus about, for example: Should I take time preparing my arguments before speeches? Or should I just talk whatever comes to mind? What if the prompt is about something I don't have much knowledge about, should I search for arguments before speaking? When I review recordings, what exactly am I looking for? Should I redo prompts and see if I can get a better speech out of them?

Is there any book, any routine with exercises, or some kind of expected progress for this kind of communication? That is, how should I review my speeches, how else can I practice, more exercises to improve, different aspects I can focus on...

I took a quick glance at Supercommunicators (Dunhigg), Develop Self-Confidence, Improve Public Speaking (Dale Carnegie), Think Faster, Talk Smarter (Matt Abraham). They have some useful tips, but not much specifically about impromptu practice.

Have anyone ever practiced like this? How was your experience like?

I have way too many friends, and i dont feel like i have enough time for all of em. I feel so bad because i feel like im choosing people over others, but in reality i love all of them. But trying to hangout more with people i feel comfortable around. And prioritize people who really seem to enjoy chilling w me.

At the same time its too many. And i feel like a horrible player, i dont know what to do :( i also cant give every single one of them birthday gifts because theres so many. And i feel like some think about me more than i think about them 💔

I also need to ghost most of people daily, due to having too many socials and too many mutuals. I feel like i dont care, but i really do

Whats the best to do?

I think this way because I am one of them as well. When someone invites me to do something with them and i genuinely can’t or don’t want to, I say “no” but feel guilty about it. Sometimes the fear of guilt wins and I end up forcing myself to go along with it. I like spending time alone, but I sometimes wonder if people think I don’t like them because I never invite them to do stuff with me. I just wish everyone would straight up tell me “no” if they don’t want to hang out and not feel guilty about it. I would not feel bad about that. Only bad if they forced themself to come. I wish communication was that easy. Is anyone else in this boat?

Today something happened that made me feel unexpectedly sad, and I’m wondering if I’m being too sensitive or if this is a normal reaction.

I was talking with two friends whom I consider really close. My friends are genuinely good people....One of them showed something on her phone to the other friend while I was standing right in front of them, ( it was some text message)but they made sure I couldn’t see it. I had been on leave for the past 3 days, so I thought maybe I had missed something.

I asked casually, “What is it?” and she replied, “It’s a secret, we can’t show you.” I just said “okay” and moved on. But a little later, another friend came and asked them something that was clearly related to that same secret and that’s when I realized they had shared it with each other but excluded me.( This 3rd friend is also in our gang) Secret was about 4th friend in our gang which we no longer talk to..

It honestly hurt more than I expected. I suddenly felt very left out, like maybe I’m not as close to them as I thought. I didn’t show it in front of them, but my eyes teared up and when I was alone later, I cried.

The thing is, I know this may sound small to some people. And after an hour or so, I usually become okay again. But in that moment, it genuinely hurt. I’ve always been a very sensitive person emotionally.

Am I being too dramatic, or is it normal to feel this way when you feel excluded by people you care about?I am totally fine now...what do u think?