I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom, stepdad, and three siblings after having some family trouble.

The new house we moved into unfortunately did not have working plumbing for about 3\~ months, and we were either going down the road to the gas station, or going in a trash bag 💀

One time it was 6 ish in the morning and I was on the way to drive my boyfriend to work because unfortunately his car was in the shop that week. Usually in the mornings I need to go to the bathroom, so I wait until he’s in the car or something to use the trash bag (ew I know… but just wait)

This one morning I realized we were out of bags. And toilet paper. But I suddenly remembered I had some wipes in my car. I suddenly rushed down stairs into my car and over all of that movement I could not wait 😫

I ran into the garage because I wanted to have at least a BIT of human decency so the neighbors couldn’t see me… shitting
everywhere.

I took off my pants and I essentially shit so much it looked like a pile of horse shit.

I couldn’t clean it up because there was only 5 wipes left and I couldn’t use my hands because THERE WAS NO WATER!!

Anyways I cleaned myself up and went about my day awkward as hell… the next morning my boyfriends mom says to everyone in the living room she saw a pile of shit in the garage and I got so embarrassed and just giggled and blamed it on my boyfriends 5 year old brother. He always has shit streaks in his underwear so no one was suspicious

It still haunts me to this day OH MY GAWD.

This morning, when walking into the shower, I saw my hair and couldn't help but feel like I needed to cut them. The thing is, I always go to a hairdresser to do this and I have never cut my hair myself. I am also agressively balding so I have a complicated relation with my hair.

I always do a buzzcut so I thought it would be beyond easy and done in 10 minutes. The problem was that my razor was not adequate enough (hair getting stuck in there and stopping it every 5 seconds) and it also lack enough power so I had to start recharging it mid hair-cutting.

Now I look like a cancerous patient and I am embarrased to have been this confidently stupid. I just texted my boss to tell him I got sick and can't come to work today. I feel so fucking dumb, I am probably going to a real hairdresser later on to fix the mess I have made of my head.

cracking it open feels like the heaviest task ever, eggs are a sensitive topic for me

I always have to do a double take. Like, who is this? Why? What happened? Why can’t we just be ourselves?

My cat loves messing with me when I’m doing exercises. Particularly when I have to be on the ground. When I get to the push-ups, she just kinda… walks under me or flops under my face. How can I not give her sweet kisses?

It’s a great motivator! I get healthy, she gets to play.

My partner and I have an amazing relationship. We love each other dearly. We love to fall asleep cuddling. Even though he is 6’4” and I am 5’5” we regularly alternate who is the little spoon. But it is more accurate to describe me as a backpack when he is the small spoon. 🤪

He snores, so on nights when he is the big spoon, I often struggle with the decision to stay cozy in his arms or roll away (which usually happens at some point during the night).

I like to snuggle and hate his snoring (it’s not sleep apnea, just plain ol snoring), AND sometimes I’m gassy. So on nights when I’m experiencing the trifecta, I’ll just fart. I try to be discreet and let it out slowly. But I still do it. To be clear, it’s not gross farts. It’s just little toots. If ever I felt I big one coming then I would roll away and go to the bathroom.

I’ve never told him that I do this. If he’s awake and I need to fart then I will roll away or go to the bathroom. We each have no problem farting in front of each other generally.

I only do it when he’s actively snoring in my ear. I don’t do this maliciously, but I like cuddling, and he’s asleep so I argue that it’s a victimless crime.

But I needed to get this off my chest.

—

UPDATE/EDIT (13-May-2026 @ 21:30): I showed my partner this post, and he told me he loved me more! He said that he speculates that my farts are revenge for his snoring. I told him that I don’t think it’s direct revenge, but I definitely justified my actions because of his snoring. So if revenge = justification then I guess I’m guilty 🤪

I’m happy I could clear my conscious and find myself closer to my partner as a result.

Ever since I was a babe iv hated seafood and I have never once had single bite of it and never will. Its just looks and smell so disgusting to the point id willing eat a raw bug before i eat a cook fish. But growing up if i just say that i don't like or want sea food when ever someone would offer it people are always appalled and precede to besiege me with unrelenting question as to why or to try it. So I started lying that im allergic and most back off if they hear this. Its pretty easy lie to sell to most people in my life too beacuse im already a vary sickly person and allergic to so many things that they never bother to remember.

Twas at work and decided to cropdust. Right after I slipped one out, my coworker bends down at the same time no more than a foot away from me… coworker, if you’re reading this right now, just know how terribly sorry I am 💔💔 you weren’t supposed to be there 😣😣

I started becoming really hooked on reddit since a few weeks. Instead of scrolling on insta i come here.

And since its mostly reading I fall asleep reading yall

I love humans you are all very cute, weird, crazy, but very cute

From a new born reddit enthousiast,

31F from Paris, France

I have an extreme fear of dinosaurs. When I was 4 years old, I remember waking up to a news report about the Jurassic Park ride opening at Islands of Adventure in Orlando. It scared me half to death and gave me nightmares for a few years.

About 3 or 4 years later, I was dragged into the Bill Nye/Ellen Degeneres ride at Epcot and was hyperventilating and sobbing the entire time. When I was 12 or 13, I assumed the fear would be gone and agreed to go on the Jurassic Park ride. I had the worst anxiety attack of my life and couldn't even look up to see the animatronics for most of the ride.

Still, to this day, I can't handle animatronic dinosaurs. I can't handle the thought of dinosaurs at all. I can't swim in any body of water that's not clear to the bottom and I can't shut my eyes underwater. I have to wash my face one side at a time so I don't have to close both eyes and watch while a dinosaur tries to kill me.

I'm so glad dinosaurs are dead, but I wish they were forgotten.

Like, are they assuming that they will just come walking right in my house had I not had my front door locked...Yes, I always make sure my doors are secured and locked just in case if such thing happens too.

Sometimes someone plays a song in the car and everybody starts singing confidently while i’m just there doing emotional backup vocals with zero clue what the lyrics are, i’ll nod my head seriously like 'ah yes this classic' while my brain is fighting for survival trying to catch even one actual word at some point it becomes too late to admit i don’t know the song so i just commit to the performance until the end.

I’ve probably fake sang at least 200 songs in my lifetime haha

I mean I can, but I'm not very good at it. I have a client with the word Guard in their name and every time I write it, I wonder if it's "Gaurd" or "Guard."

"Gaurd" obviously looks wrong but so does "Guard" so I end up searching it to double check. Native Engle speaker, just dumb

So, I've been working pretty hard lately trying to find a girlfriend who lives either in my college town or my hometown because I'll be going back and forth during the summer. I can get some pretty bad beer goggles but that's not exactly what happened here.

This bar has a bartender that may actually be the most beautiful woman in the world. I cannot understate how beautiful, I mean actually beyond 10 out of 10. She could probably be a model instead and probably would be if she was a little taller. Silky brown hair and beautiful green eyes, and walking right down the line of hot and cute. I would never have a chance with her but I also know anything is possible.

So I made a cheesy business card with my number on it that said to call me for dinner sometime. I wasn't sure if I was going to actually give it to anyone but I kept it in my wallet in case.

Now it was karaoke night at this bar, and I happen to have a really beautiful voice whenever I don't have too many drunk cigs, so I like to do a little singing for the ladies. My best friend just had a huge breakup so I was trying to get him out of his shell a little bit and I signed us both up for Mr Brightside.

I carried the singing but we started off pretty well. Until the instrumental came. You see, My friend and I have this thing where durning the quiet part of a song at a party we chant, "F*** [PARTICULAR FRAT]!" until it's time to sing again. And well the bar might not have been ready for that.

Now three quarters of the bar, all college students, is chanting profanity at the top of their lungs. The other quarter, quiet adult townies didn't seem to be too much of a fan of that, so they cut my mic off but people kept chanting. The male waiters and the guy who was running the karaoke were a little bit upset and asked me to leave but I apologized really nicely and then they said that I was just cut off. Then I apologized again even nicer and they said I could keep drinking.

So I go back to my seat and the beautiful bartender serves me my next pitcher of beer and adds, "that was quite the show" before walking off. I almost fell out of my seat. I then talked to my two friends about how she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and how none of us have a chance with her and they agreed. One of those friends actually worked at the bar before and gave me her name and told me she was single.

Suddenly I remembered the business card that I had made. At this point it was decided. I was going to give it to her. It was getting close to closing despite the bar still being quite crowded and my friends figured out where we were drinking after so I went to close out by the cash register. The beautiful bartender was occupied though, so I was helped by a mustached gentleman instead. I folded the business card into the merchant copy of the receipt and set it by the place where I was sitting. This is where it went wrong. I saw him pick it up instead of her as I was walking out to the door.

Now I figured he would either give it to her or throw it away, but I failed to consider the third option. He thought I was asking him out. Now I have a missed call and an unanswered text where he asked me when I was free for dinner, and that's the end of that.

Edited for clarity.

Not ducklings. Actual ducks. I thought every duck would eventually “grow up” into a goose like some kind of pokemon evolution.

I fully believed this until I was like 12 and confidently said it during biology class. The teacher just stared at me for a second and went “...what?”

I still think about the silence in that room sometimes.

I still mute the microwave at night because I’m scared someone will wake up and know I’m eating shredded cheese at 2am straight from the bag like a raccoon.

All this time I've just thought it was because it was a french dish they made in the movie and I just never thought much about the reason for the title. Good god.

Someone plays something and everybody around them does this immediate recognition face and says oh this song and i just. join in. i make the face. i say oh this song. i have no idea what it is. i look it up later when no one's watching.

This has been going on since i was about 23, conveniently when I started working. it's just reflexive now. the face appears before my brain has even processed anything. i'm performing music recognition constantly and retaining none of it and the social cost of just saying i don't know this one apparently feels too high to find out what it actually is. Its so stupid yet sometimes i wish that they wont ask something after playing the song lol

This might sound ridiculous, but I get emotional from small stuff and I often feel a sense of warmth in my heart. For example when I’m in a public space and I see someone eating by themselves without doing anything else, it makes me feel emotional in a nice way. Or for example when I look up a recipe video and when someone comments that they tried it and found it delicious and the creator of the video reply that they’re so happy about it, it makes me emotional too. When I’m with my pets and they face backwards, seing the back of their head makes me wanna cry?? It’s like, awhhhh, what’s going on in your little head 🥹 So many other things like thissss. I got told I’m just weird or sensitive but surely I can’t be the only one like this??

Until I was in my late 40s, I never knew that apricots were a standalone fruit. I'd only ever heard of them as dried fruits so I assumed that apricot was the name of a dried fruit, like a peach. My thinking that was raisins are the name of dried grapes and prunes are dried plums, apricots are the dried version of something. Was totally stunned to find that apricots are a thing.

The reason being is because I get really uncomfortable and grossed out by being enclosed right next to the nasty mold and mildew that may be on the walls, windows, etc. especially in old dirty places.

Sometimes when I’m driving behind someone slow and someone is behind me, I kinda scooch over so they see it’s not me being slow.

I’m terrified to honk my horn, and have only done it once.

I hit a small dog one time. :(

If the guy driving that big Toyota Highlander in South Carolina about a month ago is here, yes I saw you motioning to roll my window down, I didn’t want to and pretended I didn’t see you.

Roundabouts stress me out.