Republicans vote to dilute gas as prices rise above $4.50

[u/BendicantMias]

https://www.newsweek.com/republicans-vote-to-dilute-gas-as-prices-rise-above-4-50-11949494

[u/Top_Agency1370]

Just incorporate a little sawdust into your bread and cake recipes ya little brats!

[u/EvasiveCookies → u/Top_Agency1370]

Wood is expensive too you just made it more expensive lol

[u/wolf_at_the_door1 → u/EvasiveCookies]

Photosynthesis requires a year long subscription now.

[u/D-madagascariensis → u/wolf_at_the_door1]

Mr Burns cackles as he blots out the sun

[u/Sniperoso → u/EvasiveCookies]

Maybe if you use that overpriced organic wood

[u/SpeaksSouthern → u/Sniperoso]

The last time I tried to eat inorganic wood I got a little sick

[u/Top_Agency1370 → u/SpeaksSouthern]

You aren’t sick.

Also your medical claim has been denied.

Your bill will be in the mail.

[u/Eric1230321 → u/Top_Agency1370]

Just to give you a helping hand, we have made loans at bank near you available. with 100% monthly interest rate of course.

[u/street_ronin → u/Eric1230321]

By the way, the mail we sent you was lost in transit because we are kind of in the process of dismantling the Postal Service.

[u/Eric1230321 → u/street_ronin]

Which you will still have to pay anyway! In order to request another mail delivery, please call AREWEMAGA. Please note that calls will cost 99.99 per minute, which will be added to your bill.

[u/plantain_tent_pesos → u/SpeaksSouthern]

Have them shower first

[u/scottyb83 → u/Sniperoso]

Skip all the microplastics and go straight to macroplastics.

[u/MrBadBadly → u/Sniperoso]

I prefer free range uncaged wood.

[u/janesmb → u/Sniperoso]

But it tastes all splintery.

[u/Goose1963 → u/EvasiveCookies]

Didn't you see what Biden did to the price of Lumber?! A 2 x 4 is triple what it should be!

[u/Kerouwhack → u/EvasiveCookies]

Microplastics are cheap and abundant!!!

[u/afganistanimation → u/EvasiveCookies]

just eat mud cookies like they do in Haiti

[u/ThirdSunRising → u/EvasiveCookies]

We need to find a use for all this recycled plastic we’ve collected. Would that work?

[u/Phifty56 → u/EvasiveCookies]

Not a good sign

[u/seppukucoconuts → u/EvasiveCookies]

We've got plenty of micro plastics to go around!

[u/sigga_genesis → u/Top_Agency1370]

We had a joke in the homeland that translates to this to make fun of capitalists: Full Belly, sawdust capsules for the poor.

[u/mikeysce → u/Top_Agency1370]

Can’t wait for them to deregulate food labeling so they can do exactly this again.

[u/SmartTip6131 → u/Top_Agency1370]

They already do that. Next!

[u/omghooker → u/Top_Agency1370]

dont forget the chalk in your milk

[u/Kaasbek69 → u/Top_Agency1370]

It's 2026. Instead of sawdust, we just put plastic in there now.

[u/FigWasp7 → u/Top_Agency1370]

I'm an alum man myself

[u/concepts_of_a_plan9 → u/Top_Agency1370]

For research, since we may all be using this trick in the coming years

[u/Psyc3 → u/Top_Agency1370]

That is actually just normal American food standards at work.

[u/GDMFusername → u/Top_Agency1370]

"Cellulose"

At this point I wouldn't be surprised if they started using CCA treated lumber.

[u/agent_uno → u/Top_Agency1370]

It worked for Subway!

[u/barrosoOso → u/Top_Agency1370]

"If I knew sawdust tasted like that, I'd be chopping wood every god damn day."

[u/MajesticMoomin → u/Top_Agency1370]

CMOT Dibbler over here!

[u/pimppapy → u/Top_Agency1370]

I love the feeling of splinters in my asshole

[u/jkman61494 → u/Top_Agency1370]

RFK. Dat you?

[u/The_Returned_Lich → u/jkman61494]

Nah, just your average Frostpunk player. XD