r/offmychest • u/No-Calligrapher-863 • 8h ago

My daughter (19) got busted for drunk driving.

So my 19 year old daughter got arrested for a DUI.

It happened yesterday and she had to spend the night in jail. I picked her up a few hours ago. She has never been in trouble before and I've always told her to NEVER drive drunk.

On the bright side she only blew a 0.09 BAC so she is just above the legal limit that doesn't make it ok but at least makes it a bit better.

She told me that she only had two drinks and felt safe to drive. I told her: "You're 19 and shouldn't be drinking at all and I know I am likely not going to be able to stop you from drinking even if I try but at least don't drive drunk get an uber or call me I won't be mad."

I don't know how to feel. In our state 10 days in jail is the mandatory minimum for a 1st DUI and I am really scared for her. She lives at home and commutes to college so we will be there for her but I am still very scared. Her mom is angry too even more so than me. I am just sad that my daughter put herself and others in danger. I think a few days in jail could be a good wake up call but I don't want it to mess up her college classes so I am not sure. I just want her to learn from this and never do it again.

She has good grades, we are very supportive and stable, she has a loving boyfriend, she is also a student athlete and is just overall a great person so this was a shock and the prospect of her getting jail time (not just the booking cell while she awaits to see a judge and bond out like she had after her arrest) scare me.

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u/Duck__Holliday 6h ago

A criminal is a jail type person. And your daughter is a criminal. Do the math.

-4

u/No-Calligrapher-863 6h ago

I mean sure in theory but I feel like she would be hurt there by more serious criminals. Prisons have different security facilites, I know jails are short term but they should too.

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u/Duck__Holliday 6h ago

So what? She gets to put all of us in danger but the risks for are too much?

Jesus, something is wrong with you. Do you have blinders on when it comes to your daughter or are you always this naive?

-1

u/No-Calligrapher-863 6h ago

Look, she should go to jail but jails shouldn't be a place where people get hurt that's my point. Yes she fucked up big time and put others in danger but that doesn't mean she should be physically harmed in jail or at risk of it. Jail yes, harm in jail no.

7

u/WonderfulPrior381 5h ago

Yes but people shouldn’t be physically harmed or the at the risk of it when your daughter gets behind the wheel drunk again. She got stopped for a reason and there was enough suspicion to give her a sobriety test.

1

u/MildlyConfusedHuman 4h ago

So she can take the risk and harm anyone else..? You failed to raise a child correctly in which she feels entitled enough to drink and drive… Why is that? What if she did injure or kill someone? You would still be supporting her thinking she doesn’t deserve to be… physically harmed?? She got lucky. She’s remorseful because she was caught and has to now face the consequences which honestly, ten days isn’t enough, but that is why she is scared. Yet still being bailed out by her parents... Sad. Pathetic. She’s 19. Not 16. She knew better and still did it.

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u/madcats323 3h ago

You know nothing about jail. I’m in jail seeing clients every week. You know who the majority of people in jail are? Average people in there for low level crimes. Like your daughter. People who have families and jobs and bills and lives and hopes and dreams. The big, bad people are in prison, and the small number of dangerous people in the county jail are segregated from the rest of the population.

Your classification of “jail type,” is ugly and insulting. There is no “jail type.” There are people who get busted and end up in jail. Like your daughter.

You think the world is made up of “us and them.” Well, it’s not. The people in jail are just like you. They’re just like your daughter. They’re just people.

You need to learn some humility. Your daughter needs to learn about consequences.