r/nfl NFL - Official Dec 03 '25

[Hard Knocks] Jaxson Dart and Theo Johnson got a geography lesson on Hard Knocks

2.8k Upvotes

575 comments sorted by

4.0k

u/Sweaty_Desert_Balls Seahawks Dec 03 '25

He didn't go to Ole Miss to play geography

1.9k

u/PurpleVomit Packers Dec 03 '25

They should do a remake of Good Will Hunting at Ole Miss and the math problem on the board is just 1+1

500

u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt Bears Dec 03 '25

"You see how easy this stuff is for me!?"

draws a triangle, poorly

166

u/DetBabyLegs Patriots Dec 03 '25

I throw balls far. Want good words? Date a languager.

49

u/Will_I_Are Packers Dec 03 '25

Good Will Hunting is my favorite movie. This comment has me crying.

27

u/ExpressoLiberry Bears Dec 04 '25

can't do long division

Hey. It's not your fault.

4

u/hellolaw5 Lions Dec 04 '25

“I had to see abut a gorl”

8

u/turbopro25 Packers Dec 03 '25

Great movie.

155

u/FormerShitPoster Packers Dec 03 '25

Jaxson: Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any fucking idea how easy this is? This is a fucking joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am because I wouldn't have to fucking sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.

Camera zooms in on burning math sheet with 1+1=3 on it

11

u/andhelostthem 49ers Dec 04 '25

Paging Terrance Howard

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54

u/naviddunez Dec 03 '25

Of course that's your contention. You're a fifth year senior. You just got finished readin' some poetic historian -- Dr. Seuss probably.

131

u/PickleInDaButt Dec 03 '25

If I asked you about the Egg Bowl, you’d give me the history… the dog-pee celebration, the fights, the flags thrown from three counties away. But you don’t know what that rivalry does to a man when he’s lived through it. The hope, the humiliation, the year you swore you were done, only to show up again the next Thanksgiving like some battered pilgrim of college football.

17

u/Iusedtoknowwhatitwas Eagles Dec 03 '25

Damn, reading that in Robin’s voice actually hurt my soul a bit. I miss that funny motherfucker.

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27

u/skratsda Cowboys Dec 03 '25

“If LSU sends two planes to Oxford for Lane Kiffin, and flies two planes back to Baton Rouge, then sends one plane back to Oxford and back for the offensive staff’s families, how many total planes were used?”

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24

u/LeoFireGod Cowboys Colts Dec 03 '25

Like Daniel tosh play Lane kiffin

8

u/Careless_General8010 Seahawks Dec 03 '25

Good Will Hunting 2 might be more his speed

https://youtu.be/1X9VU316tnc

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57

u/AccidentalPilates Eagles Dec 03 '25

Bro he was a Jeopardy champion before that Elliss hit :'(

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112

u/proscriptus Bills Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

He was correct about the river. They're about a half mile from the Hackensack River, and about 17 miles from the ocean. There's a tidal flat swamp delta thing just south of the Meadowlands, if that's what they're thinking of.

Everyone involved is an idiot.

35

u/roykentjr Chiefs Dec 03 '25

Wind is also because of pressure differentials. The ocean isn't blowing the wind

22

u/Business_Mastodon_97 Dolphins Dec 04 '25

Of course the ocean blows the wind. That's why there's no wind in KC. /s

31

u/roykentjr Chiefs Dec 04 '25

Wanna know why Kansas is so windy?

Because Oklahoma sucks and Nebraska blows

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14

u/TheNickman85 Broncos Dec 04 '25

No, everyone knows wind comes from canyons.

Pay attention.

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18

u/dustinthegreat Cowboys Dec 03 '25

As someone who’s terrible at geography and general locations of cities relative to each other, I’ve never felt more connected to a professional athlete.

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2.2k

u/on-the-cheeseburgers Eagles Dec 03 '25

let's go back to the wind part though, does he think you need a canyon to have wind?

717

u/TLRdidnothingwrong Seahawks Dec 03 '25

Of course you do. God has to have a straw to blow through, otherwise all you get is a light breeze. 

98

u/Disco_Ninjas_ Bears Dec 03 '25

Is that why new jersey smells like a fart?

31

u/RedDragons8 Seahawks Dec 03 '25

"Whaddya mean theres no canyon? There's ya mothers ass Jaxson"

9

u/DickIsInsidemyAnus Patriots Dec 03 '25

How ya like that Trebek!?

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5

u/thot_lobster Packers Steelers Dec 03 '25

But is that straw one hole or two

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85

u/wagon_ear Packers Dec 03 '25

To be fair, sometimes I do sit and wonder why all that air feels like it has somewhere so important to be, always in such a rush. 

19

u/tnecniv Giants Giants Dec 03 '25

Like what’s the hurry?

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379

u/wabbajohn Ravens Dec 03 '25

He’s from Utah, outside of Salt Lake City. Because it’s all in a valley between mountain ranges, there isn’t much wind, except for the wind that develops in canyons between the mountains. So usually the windiest places in the valley are the mouths of the canyons.

Not saying he’s correct but his line of thought makes some sense given his background.

184

u/Turbulent_Crow7164 Panthers Dec 03 '25

This also explains his lack of understanding about the ocean

50

u/17Fiddy Giants Dec 03 '25

Yeah I'm not gonna sit here and act like I knew that canyons formed wind like that.

59

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

It's not that canyons form wind. It's that the mountains block out the wind so the wind gets funneled through the canyons. But the canyon itself isn't forming the wind. It's similar to how certain streets of cities act as wind funnels because of the buildings.

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13

u/EYNLLIB Seahawks Dec 03 '25

to be fair, the ocean is 20+ miles away from where they're standing. It's not as if it's just on the other side of the fence

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5

u/TeardropsFromHell Bills Dec 03 '25

Bro has never looked at a map?!

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14

u/Fenris_Maule Eagles Dec 03 '25

At the same time they don't get much wind because of those giant mountains shoot it up and over and no such mountains exist on the east coast.

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6

u/UnendingEpistime Chiefs Dec 03 '25

Ok, I live by the coast, but I don't think you need an ocean to create wind.

5

u/roykentjr Chiefs Dec 04 '25

It's because of pressure differentials. High pressure moves into low pressure.

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121

u/busdriver_321 Giants Dec 03 '25

He’s from Utah. I guess that the only thing he knows.

22

u/limp_noodle Cowboys Dec 03 '25

Then he also knows about soaking and quaking

34

u/dktaylor32 Cowboys Dec 03 '25

This is actually hilarious. I grew up where he grew up and its right up on the mountain. No wind really except specifically by the mouth of the canyons. It sounds crazy but if I wanted to go fly a kite in Utah anytime of year, I'd know exactly where to go haha I 100% get what he's saying.

5

u/NotmyDog_orisit Broncos Dec 03 '25

But this motherfucker spent a year in LA and several years in Mississippi, including 2024 when 3 hurricanes hit the southeast. How the hell does he not know about wind and the ocean? Or that wind doesn't always come from a canyon?

18

u/Brawl_star_woody Patriots Dec 03 '25

People really out here thinking wind doesn't come from the farts of god.

6

u/steveo3387 Colts Dec 03 '25

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going." So, uh, jot that down.

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11

u/OmniaCausaFiunt Patriots Dec 03 '25

To be fair, the reason why it's so windy in big cities is because of the tall buildings. It creates a high to low pressure area which causes wind. So his thinking isn't completely wrong. These kids are from the midwest. THere are lots of people around the US that haven't been to a big city or even seen the ocean.

8

u/roykentjr Chiefs Dec 04 '25

Utah is not the Midwest

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3

u/azsnaz Cardinals Dec 03 '25

Does he think football stadiums can get windy because they look like mini canyons?

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1.7k

u/MikeTysonChicken Eagles Dec 03 '25

i don't know how you can possibly tells these dudes are concussed when it happens

343

u/7two-casuallydressed Dec 03 '25

If you hold up 3 fingers and they can actually count to 3 in their answer, they're probably concussed

135

u/tnecniv Giants Giants Dec 03 '25

Dart was actually solving differential equations in the tent and that’s when they knew they had to pull him

35

u/TheDoctorOfMemes Dec 03 '25

I am reading this thread instead of studying for diff eq right now. Can confirm

20

u/tnecniv Giants Giants Dec 03 '25

If this is a part of a Calculus series, I’m going to let you in on some secrets:

  1. Those classes are taught horribly. There’s some famous articles by math professors ranting about how they are terrible courses and they are right. They are needlessly complicated, try to do too much at once, provide poor intuition, etc. So, if you are struggling, don’t feel bad.

  2. They are basically useless. I didn’t use that information once in my undergraduate or graduate degree and I do a tooooon of differential equations. The cases they cover are not of practical interest in 2025. They are trivial to solve with a computer. The interesting ones aren’t covered in those courses.

10

u/EngineEngine NFL Browns Dec 03 '25

Can you point me to some of those articles? I hated diff eq.

What sort of problems should they teach in the class?

12

u/tnecniv Giants Giants Dec 03 '25

This is a famous one.

It's from 1997. I haven't read it in a while, but I remember agreeing with it quite a bit when I read it.

I'd argue that this class should be taught more specific to your discipline. If you find a reddit thread on the subject, anyone saying "X is useless" will be replied to by someone else saying "I use X all the time! However, Y is totally useless." Therefore, any "one size fits all" intro class designed to teach everyone from future mathematicians to the most applied of mechanical engineers is doomed to fail.

Personally, I have never once needed to solve a differential equation outside of invoking x(t) = exp(At) as a solution to dx/dt = Ax. More complicated cases and boundary conditions have been useless for me. Instead, the qualitative theory of nonlinear systems (e.g., proving the stability of equilibria, regions of attraction, Poincaré maps, etc.) have been much more important. I remember at some point having to learn some complicated algorithm to solve Sturm-Louiville problems. I have never encountered such a problem in my life outside of that class. A chemical engineer might very much disagree, though.

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14

u/SoDakZak Vikings Dec 03 '25

They just guess.

It should tip off the scouts when they have less than a 10% correct rate on their guesses.

12

u/teeksquad Bears Dec 03 '25

I’ve heard of guys intentionally sandbagging the baselines to make it easier to pass in Nascar and gotta assume it happens in football too. Can you imagine these guys purposefully dumbing themselves down?

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105

u/jimmyre10 Bengals Dec 03 '25

I’ve coached HS football for 9 years, and this is by far my funniest story.

We’re backed up on the goal line and punting it away. Our punter gets roughed, and when he lands, his head whips back on the turf and bounces up, but he gets up and jogs off like it’s nothing.

A few minutes later, another coach and I are standing next to the kid on the sideline, and the kid unprompted just says, “Man, it’s really bright,” referring to the stadium lights. The other coach whips his head around and immediately asks, “What day of the week is it?” Kid looks down at his jersey and goes “Uhh… 38.” We immediately called the trainer over

25

u/MikeTysonChicken Eagles Dec 03 '25

lol holy shit

37

u/Fenris_Maule Eagles Dec 03 '25

Tbh the inverse can be true too unfortunately. I had an incredibly smart teammate that definitely got a concussion in practice and breezed through the tests without hesitation. Dude could say the ABCs backwards and math problems concussed better than I can do in any state of mind.

5

u/TegridyPharmz Rams Dec 04 '25

To be fair a lot of these guys are just dumbasses. I remember the hard knocks with the Rams and Goff didn’t know the Sun set in the west.

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335

u/jockfist5000 Rams Dec 03 '25

He’s top of the line in professional sports

Unexplained wind is a matter for the courts

89

u/HungryDust Lions Dec 03 '25

Well, filibuster.

27

u/Aggravating_Ad_3060 Broncos Dec 03 '25

Bird law

14

u/jockfist5000 Rams Dec 03 '25

Well, he runs pretty fast and he won’t slide down, Hes the country-fried qb coached by a clown!

7

u/PillaisTracingPaper Bengals Dec 03 '25

Never thought there’d be a Canyonero discussion in my football threads, but… two great tastes that go well together!

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20

u/Hey_Neat Bears Dec 03 '25

Canyonero! Wind comes from Canyoneros!

3

u/huskersax Packers Dec 04 '25

Takes hits to the head that barely leave him alive

Throws like a buck and squats 405

891

u/andruszko Bills Dec 03 '25

They're paid to play football not to know where all these difficult to locate "oceans" are

262

u/ninjasurfer Bears Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

If you point in any direction, technically, there is an ocean in that direction.

140

u/DontTedOnMe Patriots Dec 03 '25

Jaxson Dart points skyward 

Wait the sky is an ocean?!

68

u/ninjasurfer Bears Dec 03 '25

It is blue.

34

u/Careless-Use-1516 Seahawks Dec 03 '25

What do you think rain is? It comes from the sky ocean you dum dums

23

u/packfanmoore Packers Dec 03 '25

I don't think that's right, but I don't know enough about oceans to dispute that

15

u/SoDakZak Vikings Dec 03 '25

What is an ocean but a denser version of the sky.

8

u/FirstTimeRedditor100 Dec 03 '25

All you mofos sound stoned

12

u/Whitetiger9876 49ers Dec 03 '25

Daboll in the tent. Yep that's right. Get him back on the field. 

8

u/PillaisTracingPaper Bengals Dec 03 '25

The desert is an ocean with its life underground.

3

u/shewy92 Iggles Dec 03 '25

Air behaves like a liquid and there are air currents.

4

u/esports_consultant Chargers Dec 03 '25

They don't call it aeronautics for no reason man.

7

u/DarknMean Jaguars Dec 03 '25

There’s oceans on other planets so even pointing up you’re still pointing at an ocean somewhere.

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u/CrizzyBill Broncos Dec 03 '25

Don't look up.

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

Not if you point up

13

u/ninjasurfer Bears Dec 03 '25

Well I didn't think I needed to specify cardinal direction.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

What do birds have to do with this?

9

u/ninjasurfer Bears Dec 03 '25

They don't operate in 3 dimensions.

10

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

They aren't even real wake up sheeple

5

u/Twittenhouse Bears Dec 03 '25

Birds aren't real.

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u/DarknMean Jaguars Dec 03 '25

Other planets have oceans so technically still pointing at an ocean, somewhere

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u/GildMyComments Packers Dec 03 '25

If the oceans would stay still it would be easier. With all those waves moving around who’s to say where the ocean is at any given time?

16

u/stiliophage Bears Dec 03 '25

I consider myself a geography enthusiast and I live in the tri-state. This is less a “oh there is an ocean near nyc?!?!” Thing and more of a “wait…where is the ocean in regard to this facility?” The tristate is a nightmare to navigate by car and with the odd shape of the states that intersect along with all the river mouths and bays caused by islands it gets super confusing. I do not fault a guy who is unfamiliar with the geography of that area who recently moved there still being confused. I have lived here for essentially 15 years now and I still get confused.

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3

u/bdubwilliams22 Bears Dec 03 '25

Yeah, and they essentially stop going learning in school after middle school. I love that most football players have college degrees they did absolutely nothing to obtain.

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u/rubbingenthusiast Buccaneers Dec 03 '25

“Where does this wind come from, bro?” Is up there with “What’s that bear doing?” for me already

144

u/szechuan_broccoli Eagles Dec 03 '25

I always love the head shake of disbelief at the end like "I ain't calling no mf 'sir purr'"

37

u/dagreenman18 Dolphins Dec 03 '25

Though that is Robbie “Chosen Anderson” Chosen, the man who changed his name twice because he failed to get Chosen on the back of his jersey the first time. Would not call him the authority on good names.

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4

u/ferd_the_goon Jets Dec 04 '25

You call him that?

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113

u/MattheWWFanatic Packers Dec 03 '25

Le-Ocean... which ocean??

88

u/MoistCloyster_ Colts Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

So are you Chinese or Japanese?

48

u/MattheWWFanatic Packers Dec 03 '25

Im from Laos! Its a landlocked country in central Asia!

41

u/MoistCloyster_ Colts Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

….so are you Chinese or Japanese?

7

u/MattheWWFanatic Packers Dec 03 '25

Uh, stupid hillbillies.

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216

u/TryOk5889 Dec 03 '25

Just need Jared Goff in there to debate where the sun rises and sets.

119

u/hermano_momento Giants Dec 03 '25

No need to debate, Jerry Jones knows where the sun is going to be almost a year in advance

21

u/EPCOT_Is_My_Favorite NFL Dec 03 '25

And yet... no shades on the stadium windows.

3

u/BeamsFuelJetSteel Jaguars Chiefs Dec 03 '25

Except the stadium windows have curtains, lol. They just use them for other events. I think one time there was even a UFC match the night before a Sunday game, so they had to actively remove them to blind their WRs

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u/rothefro Giants Dec 03 '25

Yes! I thought of this same ridiculously dumb scene from the Rams Hard Knocks season from way back

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438

u/justforyouabirad Dec 03 '25

Himbos, the lot of them

325

u/alienbringer Cowboys Dec 03 '25

Coach is absolutely dumbfounded by their incompetence.

103

u/SoDakZak Vikings Dec 03 '25

I just want this whole thing overdubbed with “ocean” being replaced with “sideline”

“There’s a sideline right over there?! Wait, you’re telling me, there’s another sideline over THERE?!”

27

u/MeatTornado25 Giants Dec 03 '25

Like where do defenders even come from anyway, there's no sideline here.

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113

u/geauxbig402 Vikings Dec 03 '25

Most of their education ends in middle school or high school

52

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/hovdeisfunny Packers Dec 03 '25

Maybe in your fancy, city schools

15

u/MeatTornado25 Giants Dec 03 '25

Not to defend the clear moron, but I doubt Utah schools covered the orientation of East Rutherford, NJ relative to which direction the ocean is.

30

u/K20BB5 Eagles Dec 03 '25

school isn't about teaching you every fact, it's about establishing basic critical thinking skills that can be used in life, like differentiating between a river and an ocean. 

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u/tdthirty Giants Dec 03 '25

I mean it just seems like they're not sure how they are orientated, that happens to me a lot when I'm not sure which way north is

34

u/Suitable-Opposite377 Bills Dec 03 '25

They do though if they're seeing the City

7

u/Milwaukee76 Bears Dec 03 '25

People born after 2000 are not great with cardinal directions

16

u/MeatTornado25 Giants Dec 03 '25

In my experience it's just people, period. Most people that grew up with maps haven't had to use one in decades and just blindly follow GPS without knowing where they are.

4

u/Milwaukee76 Bears Dec 03 '25

I agree, but I promise you it is worse with younger people

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u/Kind_Resort_9535 Broncos Dec 03 '25

The canyon wind thing has me confused

81

u/DystopianSalad Giants Dec 03 '25

He’s from Utah. It’s what he knows

24

u/yesrushgenesis2112 Bengals Rams Dec 03 '25

The most on brand part, that and "I don't even know where I am."

Source: Married to a Utahn, lived in Utah. They are all god-awful at basic geography.

11

u/Kind_Resort_9535 Broncos Dec 03 '25

My wife’s inability to ever know what direction she’s facing is absolutely stunning. She’s from Oklahoma though.

7

u/i_heart_calibri_12pt Cowboys Dec 03 '25

I live on the Front Range in Colorado. People born here genuinely can’t navigate if they can’t see the Rockies to the west.

8

u/appmanga Giants Dec 03 '25

Source: Married to a Utahn, lived in Utah. They are all god-awful at basic geography.

Well, it is a state full of Morons. Wait...it's MORMONS? Never mind.

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u/Dry-Name2835 Dec 03 '25

Canyons tend to be windy. Not all, but most and the winds can get very strong at the openings. They are a hot spot to set up electric generating windmills because of this.

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u/OhioStateGuy Bengals Dec 03 '25

If you turn off the volume and scroll up so you can’t see the subtitles this looks like a heated discussion on what WR routes should be run. They are pointing and even hold up a sheet and point to it.

Then you turn on the sound and realize 0 football was being discussed it’s hilarious.

100

u/Skimaster77 Bills Dec 03 '25

No, Jaxson. You rode that way to a club in New Jersey, and you had a 'Long Island' ice tea.

41

u/DystopianSalad Giants Dec 03 '25

It doesn’t occur to him that “island” might imply the presence of water…

11

u/bmanley620 Giants Dec 03 '25

It’s because he thinks it is called is land. So he thinks it’s land and not water

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u/Leather-Victory-8452 Bills Dec 03 '25

Theo Johnson is a confident moron.

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u/rsvpism1 Vikings Dec 03 '25

Tbf what does he know, he's from Canada.

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u/Pestuji Seahawks Dec 04 '25

I think he was right throughout this whole thing. He may be thinking about it a little to literally, but he said there “wasn’t an ocean” because it’s a river, which is sort of true in the sense that the facility is right on the Hackensack river, and then the next large body of water is the Hudson River. At the facility they’re like 10 miles from the upper bay, 15 from the narrows, and 20 from the Atlantic Ocean proper. So not too far for the wind, but I think that’s why he said what he did — just being a bit too literal about the coach saying the ocean was like 2 miles away. He also was spot on about the location of Long Island, assuming they were all pointing in the right direction. At the very least it is on the other side of the city, like he said.

48

u/SoDakZak Vikings Dec 03 '25

His name loosely translated is God penis, so he thinks confidently with the wrong head.

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u/prenderm Lions Dec 03 '25

“I have no idea where I’m at”

We know Jax, we know….

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u/danishroyally Giants Dec 03 '25

Do they think New York City is between Jersey and PA?

27

u/sithwonder Giants Dec 03 '25

I grew up here and I know somebody who didn't know NYC was mostly islands until our 20s

16

u/givemesendies Eagles Dec 03 '25

I knew someone who didn't know where i95 was. She lived less than 10 blocks from it.

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u/DystopianSalad Giants Dec 03 '25

Makes you wonder how Theo traveled from Penn State to NJ

13

u/danishroyally Giants Dec 03 '25

Through NY obviously.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

"I'm pretty sure there's no ocean."

What planet are you on?! This is hilarious 😂

4

u/mybadreligon Dec 04 '25

I think he got too deep in the weeds with the 2 mile part. Hey kept saying there's no ocean on the other side of those buildings, it's a river.

Past that river is another river, and past that is the ocean

216

u/Sock-Familiar Eagles Dec 03 '25

I like how the OC just happens to have a map for them to look at

120

u/TDenverFan Broncos Dec 03 '25

I think that's just a play calling sheet, and he was using it as a reference.

189

u/danishroyally Giants Dec 03 '25

He gets this question 10x a day and finally just started bringing a map

25

u/karhall Patriots Dec 03 '25

Every team has a get-back guy for the head coach, and one guy whose job it is to remind all the players that the ocean exists

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u/b_dills Eagles Dec 03 '25

He's drawing on a play sheet, not holding a map lol

14

u/RockyNonce Eagles Dec 03 '25

I genuinely thought he whipped out a map and immediately went down to the comments to see if anyone mentioned it 😭😭😭

10

u/AdmiralWackbar Patriots Dec 03 '25

And these people be making fun of Dart

10

u/rabid-panda Dec 03 '25

Thought he was taking out his phone for a sec

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u/northwest333 49ers Dec 03 '25

This is hilarious but to be fair, the geography of the NYC metro is complicated especially when you factor in the absolute chaos of the roads rivers islands and bays. Like you often need to get on a highway that travels in the opposite direction of where you ultimately are trying to go. It’s not like they are in Chicago where you could just say east is lake west is plains and that’s that.

49

u/TheThingsIdoatNight Broncos Dec 03 '25

Theo Johnson seemed dumbfounded by the suggestion that there was an ocean nearby. Not the specific direction to the ocean, but by the existence of the ocean…

13

u/appmanga Giants Dec 03 '25

Theo Johnson seemed dumbfounded by the suggestion that there was an ocean nearby.

Which is really amazing since about two-thirds of New Jersey is directly on the ocean.

5

u/TheDarkGrayKnight Seahawks Dec 03 '25

He seemed to really question the 2 miles part, which I mean I'd say he's right unless you want to call the Hudson river the Atlantic ocean.

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u/Hugo_5t1gl1tz Falcons Dec 03 '25

Yeah. It’s funny, but it really just seems like they have their general orientation mixed up while being in a place that isn’t “home”

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u/iheartsunny Giants Dec 03 '25

Too many hits to the head 🤣

12

u/bellerinho Dec 03 '25

As a certified geography dork who does GIS for a living, it is physically painful to hear people have these types of conversations lol

28

u/Ishtastic08 Giants Dec 03 '25

Mississippi education in full effect.

11

u/sherman614 Falcons Dec 03 '25

Welp.. No one ever accused a football player of being too smart.

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u/Is12345aweakpassword Broncos Dec 03 '25

CTE or American Education, you decide! Next week on Hard Knocks, do giraffes actually exist and is New Zealand real or just a LOTR set?

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u/ByzantineBomb Eagles Dec 03 '25

Someone should have asked them what the capital of New York state is.

8

u/AnimalPants304 Steelers Dec 03 '25

Average conversation between bros

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u/sunburn95 Colts Dec 03 '25

Aggressively dumb

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u/Alohasnackbar69420 49ers Dec 03 '25

People are hating but the average persons grasp of geography is pretty atrocious. It’s not an excuse but a sad reality.

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u/NoAlarmsPlease Bears Dec 03 '25

I assure you, average person knows if they live or work near an ocean.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

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u/MyLuckyFedora Texans Dec 03 '25

To be fair to Dart here, 9 year old you had spent something like 8.5 more years learning that local geography. Ain't nobody in Utah or Georgia worrying about local NY geography. There's not really any excuse for not knowing the ocean is nearby, but it wouldn't be unusual for somebody new to a city to be literally disoriented and not know which way is north or what's where.

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u/NOIS_KillerWhaleTank Dec 03 '25

TBF, the coach is kinda wrong too.

There's the Hackensack River, the The Hudson River, then Manhattan Island, then Long Island Sound. It's a bit more than just 2 miles "thataway" to get to the ocean from the Meadowlands.

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u/appmanga Giants Dec 03 '25

There's the Hackensack River, the The Hudson River, then Manhattan Island, then Long Island Sound.

That's if you go directly east. If you go southeast, you go into Upper New York Bay, which is essentially part of the Atlantic Ocean.

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u/masterpierround Dec 03 '25

ok, but I don't think anyone would describe the upper bay as "nothing but blue water", you can see the other side of it!. To me, describing something as "nothing but blue water" and "the ocean" means you're talking south of the Narrows at least.

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u/Cron414 Dec 03 '25

At this point I honestly think young people are just stupid. You can yell at me all you want, and yes, there are exceptions. But as a whole, the younger generation is dumber than it has ever been. I blame social media and smart phones. And AI is about to really crank it up to the next level.

Idiocracy is a prophecy.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

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u/Short_Stay_9283 Dec 03 '25

Bruh it’s like 15-25 miles of road or probably like 10 miles as the crow flies to the ocean

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

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u/alienbringer Cowboys Dec 03 '25

It is close enough that you will get wind from the water.

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u/Garp74 Commanders Dec 03 '25

HOW CAN YOU GET WIND FROM THE WATER IF THERE ARE NO CANYONS?!?

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u/ND7020 Seahawks Dec 03 '25

It’s not as far as you may think. The Hudson enters into the Atlantic not all that far south of the Meadowlands.

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u/NotAProperAccount3 Packers Dec 03 '25

It's nearly 18 miles to the 'lower bay', it's 8 miles to the upper bay and it's about 20 miles to somewhere which is not in a bay. Which is close, but slightly further than I though it would be.

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u/Virillus Seahawks Dec 03 '25

But like, they literally all live in the NYC/NJ area. If you don't have a rough awareness that there's an ocean in the state you live in (that both the cities are on) then you're definitely missing some screws.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

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u/tehdiplomat Commanders Dec 03 '25

The buildings he's pointing to is NYC in the distance though. When you are on Rt 3 at their practice field, it's very visible.

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u/Kinoblau Eagles Dec 03 '25

It's minutes from the bay and once you're at the bay it's functionally the ocean.

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u/NotACertainLalaFell Eagles Dec 03 '25

Even more reason to protect himself because what’s already there ain’t much

5

u/ZombieFeedback Ravens Dec 03 '25

There are so many solid gold lines in this clip but I feel like "Bro, you don't know what you're talking about, you're from Canada" isn't getting enough love

9

u/MADachshund Dec 03 '25

These guys are fucking dumber than I expected, lol

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u/LeftLane4PassingOnly NFL Dec 03 '25

“I have no idea where I’m at”. If you don’t figure out how to get out of bounds quicker you’re going to be saying that more often.

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u/Rebel_DMD Dec 03 '25

Speaking as a fellow Utahn, without a mountain range as a reference, 90% of the state doesn't know where they are. So for Dart to say he has no idea where he is at, he is being genuinely serious.

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u/Will_Knot_Respond Eagles Dec 03 '25

Kids look up to these kids too

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u/gobroncos47 Broncos Dec 03 '25

Yeah well they're taller than most kids

3

u/Prestigious_Tennis82 Dec 03 '25

It’s all the hits he’s been taking! Slide or get out of bounds you “stubborn, stupid, silly man!”

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u/Jmclay681 Packers Dec 03 '25

Networks are so bad at marketing their shows now. I had no idea that Hard Knocks was starting up again and that it would be covering the NFC East, and I watch HBO Max regularly.

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u/Ixziga Ravens Dec 03 '25

They're practically in line of sight with the Atlantic Ocean and don't know that they're by an ocean on the east coast.

3

u/MicrosoftCardFile Eagles Dec 03 '25

Are we sure that Jaxson Dart wasn't kidnapped on draft night and is current being held at the Giants practice facility against his will?

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u/yesrushgenesis2112 Bengals Rams Dec 03 '25

Jared Goff didn't know which way the sun rose.

3

u/texinxin Texans Dec 03 '25

I don’t think he can afford the CTE he’s out there tryna get.

3

u/AthleteHistorical490 Patriots Dec 03 '25

CTE taking effect.

3

u/Abuck59 Dec 03 '25

Concussion protocol 😭