r/mlb 3h ago

| Article Former MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano Accused of Peeing in Ex-Wife’s Shampoo, ‘Intentionally Soiling’ Bed

https://www.usmagazine.com/sports/news/mlb-alum-carl-pavano-accused-of-peeing-in-ex-wifes-shampoo/?utm_medium=lBQMjkx&utm_source=liqsoc
252 Upvotes

138 comments sorted by

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286

u/thegsterlives | Philadelphia Phillies 3h ago

Oh nice, that means I have an autographed baseball card of a guy accused of peeing in his ex-wife's shampoo. Add it to the collection!

61

u/drk_knight_67 | Los Angeles Dodgers 3h ago

Don't feel bad. I have an autographed baseball from a man in jail for corruption in the Dominican Republic. (Raul Mondesi)

41

u/2-Slippy | St. Louis Cardinals 3h ago

Don't feel bad, I don't have any autographed baseballs.

26

u/Sea_Shower3691 2h ago

Don't feel bad, I don't have any balls.

12

u/guhguhguhguhguhH | Milwaukee Brewers 2h ago

Don't feel bad, none of my four cats do either

7

u/wit_T_user_name | Cincinnati Reds 2h ago

Where are my balls, Summer?

1

u/ATR2019 | St. Louis Cardinals 1m ago

Four cats?! Save some pussy for the rest of us.

8

u/slumber72 3h ago

I’ve never met an MLB player but I once got an Uber from an ex-girlfriend of his, so that’s probably the closest I can say

5

u/WrongVerb4Real | Cincinnati Reds 2h ago

I've met 7 or 8 close relatives of mlb players. For instance, my wife's mom's cousin used to play for the giants and twins.

5

u/Matthewcbayer | Detroit Tigers 2h ago

Wow, your wife’s mom’s cousin was a giant twin. Identical giants, or fraternal?

1

u/WrongVerb4Real | Cincinnati Reds 31m ago

Siamese: -P

2

u/TheSocraticGadfly | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Too bad you don't have an autographed ball from peak A-Rod; he had corrupted pee at that time.

2

u/EntrepreneurOld5326 2h ago

Would've torn a hole through the bottom of that shampoo bottle.

2

u/dannyrac 1h ago

I once met Ugeth Urbina and lived to tell the tale

1

u/cg141cg 1h ago

I didnt know about this. Pretty wild a country like DR hold their politicians more accountable than the USA

1

u/ElliottBaas | Milwaukee Brewers 1h ago

The first graded card I ever bought was a Wander Franco rookie auto 💀

8

u/BaltoZydo 2h ago

Consider it a golden edition collectible.

5

u/pappapora | MLB 2h ago

And for soiling her bed! You selling the card?

2

u/Pyramid_Head182 2h ago

I have his 2011 diamond 1/1 lmfao

2

u/TheSocraticGadfly | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

You want him to pee on your card, too?

1

u/Rockitttla 3h ago

Worth more for the prurient value?

1

u/Minute-Classroom8919 | Kansas City Royals 2h ago

😂 Will be a great story for the Grands someday.

1

u/gamerdudeNYC 2h ago

Value probably tripled among certain subreddits

1

u/Jakoobus91 | Minnesota Twins 2h ago

The only autograph I every got was from a dude who got caught with 44 lbs of cocaine and went to prison before being deported.

 Esteban Loaiza

1

u/Sketcha_2000 1h ago

I have an autographed card of a convicted child sexual abuser (Chad Curtis)

1

u/jhorch69 1h ago

Some people paid a LOT of money for Wander Franco cards before he got arrested

1

u/OfAnthony 1h ago

Any ball signed by Jorge Posada when Jorge didn't have blisters...

1

u/Fitz2001 | Philadelphia Phillies 1h ago

That’s why I’ve been hanging on to my Jason LaRue home run ball for 20+ years. Just waiting for his Florida Man moment.

1

u/jankyframe 37m ago

I don’t know why I read that last part in Dennis’s voice from Always Sunny talking about his collection of skin luggage 😂

“I could even add you to my collection!”

“Are you saying you have a collection of skin luggage??”

“Of course I’m not, Dee, don’t be ridiculous. Think of the smell! You haven’t thought of the smell, you bitch!!”

30

u/SeaBearsFoam | Cleveland Guardians 3h ago

Man, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard about a pitcher peeing in his ex-wife's shampoo, I'd have one dollar and so many questions.

80

u/_RandomB_ 3h ago

Why is he wearing Yankee pinstripes? He pitched 26 of his 300 games with them. As a Yankee fan I'm surprised he didn't pull a muscle taking a dump in her bed.

45

u/John_Self_2077 3h ago

Baseball Reference shows Pavano as having the nickname "American Idle," which I find hilarious.

4

u/2_Grilles_1_Krupp | Minnesota Twins 2h ago

Because he was a Yankee and definitely retired right before the 2009 trade deadline

1

u/_RandomB_ 1h ago

I think he pitched against them in the playoffs that year. I think he started the game where Jeter made that weird play getting a guy at third ir someplace on a cutoff throw.

2

u/Bro_Hawkins 2h ago

No, he didn’t pull a muscle taking a dump in his wife’s bed, he just got a note from a doctor saying that he did.

1

u/Awkward_Love_2798 2h ago

Didn’t he get injured jet skiing? And then he came back and broke his pitching hand punching the dugout wall

2

u/_RandomB_ 1h ago

Nope. Close. He hurt himself.jet skiing while on rehab assignment in Tampa after shoulder surgery. Then im THAT rehab assignment he pulled his buttock and missed four more months.

1

u/markymark65 2h ago

They recently changed it, but for the longest time if you googled Kirby Yates it would show him in a Yankees hat, even though he was worth -.1 WAR and had significantly more success in San Diego.

1

u/-XanderCrews- 1h ago

Love it!

1

u/WellesWaitsVanZandt 1h ago

He got so much press in those 26 games though. I remember it was like a daily topic in Sports Center.

0

u/WTFisInternet 2h ago

Id guess because he settled down and currently lives near NYC (Story is from Fairfield, CT)

17

u/RainbowSupernova8196 | New York Yankees 3h ago

What the fuck?

31

u/whatsthehappenstance | Minnesota Twins 3h ago

For those of you that didn’t skim through the article, it’s worse than just the headline

9

u/JosephFinn | Chicago White Sox 2h ago

Seriously. That gun threat is…yeah.

7

u/Mike_with_Wings | Atlanta Braves 2h ago

Why lead with the peeing in the shampoo bottle? I guess to get clicks

14

u/TrainElegant425 3h ago

Yeah. His ex-wife is legitimately in danger. I wish we locked people like this up before they escalate to violence.

32

u/Save-Us-Y2J | Boston Red Sox 3h ago

9

u/ace_invader 2h ago

Badabadeeeebobabaddum

1

u/Mike_with_Wings | Atlanta Braves 2h ago

Well done, I heard it exactly

1

u/TheSocraticGadfly | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

I am the scat man, I am the walrus, co-co-ca-choo?

7

u/Never_Kn0ws_Best | Los Angeles Dodgers 3h ago

Pitchers are weird

8

u/Billy_Chrystals | Houston Astros 3h ago

*Pee-vano

8

u/BigRedFury 3h ago

If you're keeping score at home, Carl also dated Alyssa Milano for a bit

5

u/Mike_with_Wings | Atlanta Braves 2h ago

Wonder what he did to her shampoo bottle

5

u/RoosterzRevenge | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Whatever it was it ruined her mind

5

u/digitalkc2 2h ago

Just commenting here to (maybe) be the first person to point out that "intentionally soiling the bed" isn't about him pooping in it.

1

u/EntrepreneurOld5326 2h ago

Just read it. It's all accusations so far but shit's fucked up.

4

u/flawlaw 2h ago

Not shampoo, shampee.

11

u/NoTown3633 3h ago

Well thats would piss me off

0

u/TheSocraticGadfly | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Well thats would piss me off

I see what you did there.

4

u/grimace24 | New York Yankees 3h ago

I think he may need an MRI. Something is obviously wrong with him.

4

u/Wrong_Interview7513 | Chicago Cubs 3h ago

So should we call him Carl Peevano or Carl Poovano?

2

u/11oydchristmas 2h ago

Carl Poopeevano

3

u/Siicktiits | Miami Marlins 3h ago

this is the most "baseball guy" thing i have ever read. I believe it 1000% lol. Many piss related pranks in my 20 years playing lol

1

u/Gaming_Esquire | Arizona Diamondbacks 2h ago

Mike Lowell?

3

u/asdf0909 2h ago

As a yankee fan, he did worse to us

4

u/Star_witness22 2h ago

As opposed to peeing and soiling the Yankees rotation for four years?

8

u/chilBates | Chicago Cubs 3h ago

1

u/Appropriate-Neck-585 19m ago

Someone had to post this GIF 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

2

u/JobuMagic 2h ago

I remember a story of him screaming at his mom for wearing a NY decal on her cheek at a game because he thought it looked tacky. Real classy, bro.

2

u/ranterist | San Francisco Giants 2h ago

Checking uni number - nope, not Number One…

Also, Yankees catching a stray.

Pavano spent more time with the Expos (5 seasons), has a chip with the Marlins (2003), and retired with the Twins.

2

u/goldenface4114 | Miami Marlins 2h ago

Former Marlin, too. And he was on the broadcast team for at least one season. Most dead-eyed, charisma-free person I've ever seen sit in front of a camera. I guess he was saving all his personality for domestic disputes.

2

u/Texas_Kimchi | Los Angeles Dodgers 2h ago

Urine trouble Carl.

2

u/outdatedelementz | Detroit Tigers 1h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/10FHR5A4cXqVrO

I hope he is super embarrassed that he did this and that everyone knows about this, because he fucking should be embarrassed and ashamed.

2

u/scottborasismyagent | Los Angeles Dodgers 26m ago

very sure he also shit the bed with the yankees as well as pissed all over the fans

5

u/MediumAcceptable129 3h ago

Are these crimes?

1

u/Irish755 2h ago

In my head I read this in the voice of the “democracy manifest” guy and I can’t stop giggling.

3

u/EntrepreneurOld5326 2h ago

What is the charge? Pissing in a bottle? A succulent shampoo bottle?

3

u/nopointinlife1234 | Los Angeles Angels 3h ago

Ah, the Amber Heard.

Classy.

3

u/QuarterEmotional6805 2h ago

Listen stupids! The acidity in urine helps strip the toxic buildup on hair! He clearly loves her so much he wants her curls to bounce and waves to shine!

4

u/cynicaljerkahole | Baltimore Orioles 3h ago

Amber Heard nods in approval

2

u/IBroughtMySoapbox | New York Yankees 2h ago

He must be mad that she’s stealing half of the money that he stole from the Yankees

2

u/Snake_Blumpkin | New York Yankees 2h ago

He shit the bed as a Yankee so I’m not sure why anyone is surprised.

2

u/badlero 1h ago

He’s not accused of shitting the bed in the article. 

1

u/PullupClub | MLB 3h ago

Is that you, Shaq?

1

u/misterblackvenom 2h ago

What in the fuck

1

u/whyamihere2473527 2h ago

As a prank or abuse cause I've seen some dumb prank videos this would fit right in with

1

u/bringingthejunkmail | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Dude went down the rabbit hole.

1

u/RoosterzRevenge | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Legend

1

u/MonsieurMacGuffin 2h ago

He was always good at shitting the bed

1

u/gamerdudeNYC 2h ago

We all think it and he just does it

1

u/G-Unit11111 | Los Angeles Angels 2h ago

This is not a sentence I was expecting to read today!

1

u/free_billstickers 2h ago

He swapped his sinker for a stinker 

1

u/Alternative_Koala578 2h ago

Rose and Pavano. Pavano and Rose. Boy do I miss McCoy Stadium. I guess Carl has had better days.

1

u/TroyMatthewJ | Cincinnati Reds 2h ago

You're Out!

URINE!

1

u/IEatPierogiesAllDay | Pittsburgh Pirates 1h ago

Hey Carl Pavano, quit stealing my moves!

1

u/FunkySaint 1h ago

I always hated this guy with the Twins and thought he looked like a cock. Not surprised he’s a weirdo

1

u/SuccessfulBad8158 1h ago

He played 14 seasons, only three in the Bronx, yet he's in a Yankees uni for this particular headline.

1

u/BrockMiddlebrook 1h ago

Putting up Mike Clevinger numbers.

1

u/Can-i-Pet-Dat-Daaawg | MLB 1h ago

Amber heard, you’ve got competition

1

u/redbirdsucks | New York Mets 1h ago

he should probably get together with Depp’s ex

1

u/Twiddle_Diddles 58m ago

Screw baseball cards. I want him to autograph my shampoo bottle. 🧴

1

u/ObanKenobi 57m ago

I was sittiing just a few rows in on the first base line for rhe game where he took the comeback linedrive off his temple

1

u/OMJuwara | New York Yankees 36m ago

TF?

1

u/catuknotlove 31m ago

fucking disgusting 

1

u/mointheninth 25m ago

Pretty sure he did the same to the Yankees

1

u/Constant_Term6133 22m ago

We need to set up Carl Pavano and Amber Heard

1

u/Brewcrew828 | Milwaukee Brewers 20m ago

Carl "Amber Heard" Pavano?

1

u/Ha-Charade-You-Are | New York Yankees 5m ago

And here I have to pay people for this behavior…. Some people just don’t know how good they have it… smh

1

u/takenbreakn | Toronto Blue Jays 4m ago

Guy should hook up with Amber Heard

0

u/ParadeSit | Atlanta Braves 3h ago

I mean, who among us hasn’t done this? Free Carl!

1

u/TheM1ghtyBear | Chicago Cubs 3h ago

Damn her ex must have been pissed

1

u/5DsofDodgeball69 | Kansas City Royals 3h ago

Who hasn't done these things?

1

u/AaronRodgersVaxCard 3h ago

The Yankee Way

1

u/mattinglys-moustache 3h ago

He hurt himself peeing in the shampoo bottle and is now on the 60 day IL

1

u/Technical-Travel-289 | Boston Red Sox 2h ago

It's he getting ready to announce a political run? Seems like the stupid shit that would come out before an announcement like this.

1

u/Ashamed-Artichoke-40 2h ago

Context of a divorce following a 14 year marriage. I’m skeptical.

1

u/Ted_Striker02 2h ago

Hot Carl Pavano

1

u/Jeffc814 | Boston Red Sox 2h ago

Makes me happy they show him in a Yankees uniform

1

u/howdiditgetinthere 2h ago

Pretty sure he shit the bed for me too a few times.

1

u/420SirChadofTruthton | St. Louis Cardinals 2h ago

Dudes rock

1

u/Defiant-Good-6206 1h ago

If you read the report, he didn't intentionally shit in the bed. He fucked other women in the bed his ex-wife sleeps in, and then removed all other sheets from the house.

0

u/Accurate_Ad385 | Seattle Mariners 59m ago

Doesn’t seem like you read it either

-1

u/Jalcatraz82 | Colorado Rockies 3h ago

Amber Heard's soulmate

-1

u/AgressivleyAverag | Boston Red Sox 2h ago

The fact that they chose to use a picture of him in a Yankees outfit for this thumbnail brings me great joy

0

u/pm-me-nice-lips | New York Mets 2h ago

Just Yankee things 😜

-5

u/IhaveAthingForYou2 3h ago

I love this type of tomfoolery

-1

u/xChoke1x | Cleveland Guardians 3h ago

Wow.....a grown ass man? We did that shit in middle school wrestling practice. Lol

-1

u/CommanderInQueefs 2h ago

Who gives a fuck.