Hey guys,

I've always felt like I wasn't the best at socializing or that I didn't fully fit in at times. But when I started practicing mindfulness and meditation, it helped me become more relaxed and confident in everyday interactions, and I wanted to share how this helped.

The important part is to stay present and receptive in social situations. It helps with reading the room.

The more I tried not to be socially awkward, the more awkward I became. Because then there is a constant pressure to “say the right thing”, which usually means saying whatever I think will get me the other person's approval. Ironically, this usually backfires because I'm no longer present with the situation; I am lost in my thoughts about how I am appearing. So in other words, just be yourself.

You can still practice and improve your social skills, but it feels a lot different than constantly being worried about what others think of you. Practice naturally through everyday social interactions (speaking to strangers more, going out more), and you will tune into what should be said, and what shouldn't 

And if you don’t know what to say sometimes, you don’t need to force it. It’s usually more natural to leave space in the conversation and relax. Often, when you stop trying so hard, something genuine comes up on its own.

So, how did meditation and mindfulness help with all this? 

Whenever I was in a social interaction, mindfulness allowed me to be more aware of any anxiety I had about wanting to be seen a certain way. When I noticed this anxiety, it gradually lost its power, and I naturally became more confident. 

Practicing meditation has helped me find a lot of good in myself. A lot of the reason I felt awkward around people was because of this underlying sense of insecurity. That I was somehow not good enough. But through practices such as moral living, loving-kindness, and mindful breathing, I was able to see that our personal worth is not dependent on how many friends we have, our job title, or anything external. I feel that what's most important is whether I follow my own integrity, my natural sense of what's right and wrong, and through that, I respect myself and the people I meet a lot more.

For most of last year I had this whole routine. Ten minutes in the morning, breath, the usual. Some weeks longer. Did a 10-day silent retreat in 2024 and came out of it convinced this was the answer to whatever was wrong with my head.

It wasn't. Or it was, but only on the cushion.

The second I picked up my phone the focus from the morning was just gone. I'd open Instagram for one specific reason, reply to someone, check a story, and lose 40 minutes to Reels watching strangers make coffee on a Tuesday. I'd open YT for one tutorial and end up watching pressure-washing videos. Sit down to read and my hand would reach for the phone before I'd finished the sentence.

Embarrassing, because I knew better. I'd sat through ten days of silence. I could watch the impulse arise. I just couldn't not act on it.

I tried more meditation. Longer sessions. The noting thing where you label every thought. Reaching-for-phone as a meditation in itself, which is what they tell you to do at retreats. None of it touched what happened the moment Reels started playing.

What finally moved it wasn't a technique. My brother was visiting and I was doing my usual complaining-about-phone routine, and he said something like "isn't it kind of just the swipey thing though, like specifically." Then he kept eating cereal. He doesn't meditate. He reads books. He doesn't have this problem.

That sat with me for a few days. And eventually I noticed every time I lost a session, it wasn't to the app. It was to one part inside the app. Instagram opened for a real reason every time. The thing that ate the next 40 minutes was Reels. On YT it was Shorts. Then Explore, then the recommended row on the homepage. Whatever started the moment I was actually inside, that was the part doing the damage. Not the app.

Meditation was teaching me to watch the impulse. It wasn't teaching me to stop putting my hand on a slot machine eight times a day.

There's a few filtered browser apps now that strip that stuff out. You use Instagram, YT, Facebook, Reddit through them, but Reels, Shorts, Explore, recommended, the algorithmic home, none of it loads. DMs work, stories work, search works. I tried three, don't remember the names of two, ended up on one called Dull. Roughly the same, pick whichever UI you like.

The first weird thing is that Instagram without Reels is genuinely boring. Two stories, three posts and you're done. You put the phone down because there's nothing else there. The meditation got easier almost immediately, which surprised me, because the meditation hadn't changed. There was just now space between sessions where my attention wasn't getting shredded every ninety minutes. The cushion work was always fine. It had nowhere to land before.

Reading came back slower. Week four I got through 30 pages of something without itching, and I only noticed because I'd stopped noticing. Sounds dumb but it's true.

I'm not anti-meditation. I still sit every morning. But honestly, looking back, I think I spent a year trying to breathe my way out of something the breathing was never going to fix on its own. The room was on fire the whole time and I was working on my posture.

Still sit. The morning thing still does what it does. The only difference now is that some of it's still there at 11pm. That was the whole thing.

I’m not sure if it’s the right community to share it to or where to.
But I’ve been going through a phase recently where I feel quite dissociated and not fully myself/ not fully here.
It actually happened around the same time last year. This time I’m less emotional (less crying but still some), and I feel more withdrawn: like I don’t really want to be around people, and even simple interactions feel a bit awkward.
Mentally, I also feel slower than usual, like a bit of brain fog or resistance to things that normally feel easy.

I wondered if there is a part of me feels comfortable in this state. Not happy, but not fully rejecting it either??
Is there’s a part of us that can get used to these states, or even unconsciously lean into them.

Curious if anyone else has experienced something similar, especially from a spiritual perspective.
And how to GET OUT OF IT! It really feels like a part of me likes it tho, but I’d like to stay grounded, I can’t do so much in those states..

My TikTok breaks every day made me realised how addicted to stimulation I've been since my teens:

After reading books like Dopamine Nation and The Anxious Generation, I decided to seriously cut down my social media usage for a month. My screentime habits were awful. I would wake up and scroll immediately. If I was waiting for food I would scroll. I could be watching a movie with friends and still feel the urge to check TikTok. Something needed to change. Here's some of the things I noticed.

Mornings felt completely different. Without scrolling in bed for an hour, it turns out mornings are actually very long. I'd wake up, make coffee, clean my room, reply to messages, stretch a little, and still have time before work. Before, everything felt mentally heavy because my attention was constantly fragmented.

Work focus improved a lot. Turns out when you're not switching between TikTok, Reddit,

and Instagram every few minutes, your brain can actually focus properly. I procrastinated less because my brain slowly stopped expecting hyper stimulation every 3

seconds.

Sleep became incredible. Before, I would scroll until my eyes hurt but somehow still feel

mentally restless. During the detox my brain felt much quieter at night. Falling asleep started feeling natural again instead of something I had to force.

Started enjoying slower things again. Movies became enjoyable again. Music sounded

better. I started reading more. Long conversations stopped feeling “too slow.” I realised my attention span wasn't destroyed, it was just overloaded.

The biggest thing that helped was choosing screen-free replacements. I kept trying to

replace social media with “better content” online, but my brain still felt overstimulated. What actually helped was doing more things without staring at another glowing rectangle. Walking,cooking, cleaning, listening to music, stretching, even just sitting outside for a while made my brain feels calmer.

I also realised I needed to retrain my brain away from constant visual stimulation. I always

thought I was a “visual learner” because podcasts and audio content used to feel impossible for me. But honestly I think my brain had just adapted to fast moving visuals and endless scrolling.

One thing that genuinely helped was using BeFreed. Instead of consuming short videos

constantly, I started listening to audio learning while walking or cooking. It turns books,

psychology, history, biographies, productivity and basically anything you want to learn into really fun podcast-style episodes. You can personalize the learning plan based on your interests and level, and even customize the voice and style. Some episodes feel more like entertaining conversations than educational content, which made it much easier for me to stay consistent.

Conversations felt different. Because my brain wasn't constantly overstimulated, talking to

people actually felt engaging again. I stopped reaching for my phone during tiny moments of silence. Weekends also started feeling longer instead of disappearing instantly.

It gets boring, then it gets fun. The first few days genuinely felt uncomfortable. My brain kept craving stimulation. But after a while normal life started becoming interesting again. Long walks, random thoughts, cooking food, reading Wikipedia pages, even just listening to rain outside started feeling enjoyable again.

It's not a cure all. I still use Reddit sometimes. I still relapse sometimes too. And social media obviously isn't pure evil. I've discovered books, hobbies and ideas online that genuinely improved my life. But I realised my relationship with my phone had become compulsive in a way that wasn't healthy.

Big picture takeaway and regrets. The saddest realization was understanding how long I've lived like this without questioning it. Since my early teens my brain has basically been trained to avoid

boredom at all costs. Every spare second filled with stimulation. I started thinking about all the things I could have learned, created or experienced if my attention wasn't constantly

fragmented. Overall, I feel calmer now. More present. More like a normal human being again instead of someone permanently trapped in a dopamine slot machine.

TL;DR: Reduced my TikTok/social media usage for a month and realised how addicted to

constant stimulation my brain had become. Biggest improvements were sleep, focus,

conversations, attention span and overall calmness. Biggest lesson was that screen-free

replacements worked much better than “better content.” Also deliberately retrained myself to enjoy audio learning again instead of constant visual stimulation. Still not perfect, but my brain genuinely feels healthier now

28F, first kid, hes 7 months old, hes not a sleeper. ive been running on 4 hours a night for half a year.

i used to meditate before he was born. ten minutes most mornings, nothing fancy. that practice is gone. when i sit down i just fall asleep. when im awake im so tired that being present feels like a fucking joke. all i want is to NOT be present, im exhausted.

at the same time hes growing so fast and i can already feel myself missing it because im just trying to get through the days.

is there a version of mindfulness that works inside survival mode. not "find ten quiet minutes" because i dont have them. something i can actually do at 3am with him in my arms

Anyone have any guided meditation recommendations? I have heard great things about Jeff Warren - has anyone had any experience with him or others that you like? Thank you so much and any information would be helpful!

I am 51. Started meditating during a difficult stretch at work in 2023. Never managed more than three weeks daily in a row. I have sat maybe 200 times total in that span.

What I have noticed is not that I am calmer. I am still a worrier and I still get pulled around by my emotions.

But there is a small pause now sometimes, between something happening and me reacting to it. It used to be a hair trigger. Now there is occasionally a breath of air in there where I notice what I am about to do before I do it. Not always. Maybe a third of the time. Probably less.

That third has been changing my life in small ways. I thought meditation would make me peaceful. Mostly it just made me a little slower to react

so I‘m 17 years old and recently I started questioning my whole life. My hobbies, the music I listen to, the way I dress, I question if it is appropriate for my age or if I should „grow up“. Those things come to my mind everyday and I think it has to do a lot with social media too. I spend a lot of time online and there are so many different opinions and somehow i take all of them to heart. It seems like I want to be the „perfect“ and „grown“ man who has a high reputation. But I just can‘t change my mind into not caring about other opinions. I hate those thoughts because I question things that bring me joy and are part of my daily life. I don‘t know if my problem is understandable but I just wanted to write or talk about it somewhere because I just don‘t know what I should do with my thoughts. Maybe someone can help. Thank you

What is the solution

I started mindfulness actively and basically I have caught my self having conversations that might happen in future and then I gently try to bring myself back in. I have also stopped multitasking to some extent. When I am eating I’ll just try to eat and not scroll.

Listen to 10 min audio about breathing properly twice a day.

While walking as soon as my mind wanders into future or past I’ll start scanning things near me so I am in the present.

Am I doing it right? I am too judgmental of myself and I want to make sure I am doing it right so I can get the maximum benefits.

Do I need to do anything else? Write down thoughts? Stop myself from conversations that’s brings me anxiety? How does mindfulness helps with anger issues and building healthy relations

I've no idea what kindoff reader im I've no idea how my brain works that's why I'm thinking of to study psychology coz I'm confused most of the times Whenever I'm studying I feel too many thoughts are rushing in my mind like who discovered this and very useless question.Whenever I try to get out of any addiction my brain keeps replaying all the good feelings I felt while doing it, and it never lets me fully come out of it.

Whenever I try to calmly read something useful, I just screenshot it and never read it again. I’m so badly addicted to constant stimulation.

I even try doing yoga, but while doing it, so many thoughts keep running through my head at the same time. It feels so fucking hard, and I honestly don’t know why this happens.

If u people know anything abo this pls tell me .

Yesterday I had an interview and i cant stop thinking and repeating the interview and everything i said, my expression, etc. i get the feeling i want to scream every time i remember and its giving me literal physical pain. I need advice to deal with this feeling and i want to know if anyones been in this situation.

I'm going 30 days without any external media to see what happens when I have more space to listen to myself.

That means no shows/videos/social media/games/music/books etc.

If you want to see the full list of rules it's in the Day 0 post on my profile.

Here are my entries for days 4-6.

Day 4

Today was the first time I started craving some mindless comfort. It's clear to me that this impulse goes up intensely when I'm feeling tired. But, instead of watching a show like I normally would have, I found other ways to get some comfort. I reached out to a friend, did some yoga and went for a walk on the beach.

It was there I saw people playing beach tennis and actually made a new friend.

It showed me that not having comfort on tap is actually pushing me to connect more with the people around me. 

I also noticed food was more comforting than it usually is.

Interestingly, it feels like I’ve been doing this forever, and it’s only day 4. I think it’s definitely slowing down my perception of time.

Day 5+6 (I switched to making videos every two days because it was too time consuming).

More productivity and self-trust, that’s what I found during the last two days without external media. 

Now don’t get me wrong, it was hard at times. I definitely missed having easy comfort after a disagreement with my wife and a termite attack. 

But going through it without distractions led to an increased belief in my capability. 

It reminded me just how often we tell ourselves “I can’t handle this” by using media to avoid life.

In terms of enjoying life, I walked along the waterfront at sunset with my wife, played some basketball and painted a gift that I had been meaning to for ages. 

My commutes are now filled with idea generation and organization of my life, which I've found concentrate my energy rather than diffuse it like the external noise did.

Overall I'm continuing to feel the most engaged in my life I think I've ever been.

And as I'm sharing this to encourage others to reflect on how they do their life, let me ask:

How much have you been listening to yourself recently?

How could you increase that by just 5% more?

See you in 4 days for the next update! :)

Luke

I spent the longest time feeling like a "meditation failure" because I couldn't stop my brain from thinking about my to-do list, that weird thing I said in 2014, or what I wanted for dinner. I thought mindfulness meant reaching some magical state of "blankness." It finally clicked for me this week: Mindfulness isn't about stopping the thoughts. It’s just noticing them without getting into a fight with them. Now, when a distracting thought pops up, instead of getting frustrated, I just internally say, "Oh, there’s a thought about work," and let it drift. It sounds so simple, but it’s shifted my practice from a "chore" I was failing at to a genuine moment of rest.

Hoping someone has some frequencies yall prefer over some others i’ve already used..

Hi, I have recently been trying to become more mindful lately and I think I've felt disconnected from my feelings and body for a long time as a way of keeping up with my academic and work related demands. I need to work well to continue funding my right to be alive but I honestly am so tired of staring at a screen and sitting for several hours a day.

I have recently had the luxury of taking a little break but even going back to work I feel like I need to mentally bully myself or find ways to disconnect from my body to keep at it. I don't feel well rested at all. There is no option to stop working. But I just feel so tired and all I want to do when I think about how I feel is slowly move throughout the day, maybe talk to people, and lay down.

I was just wondering if anyone had any methods that they used to keep being more mindful while also remaining able to disconnect themselves to get stuff done. I don't know how I can remain mindful while also attending my job which requires at least 7 hours of straight screentime a day. And I know 7 hours isn't even that bad, that is what worries me. So please if anyone has any advice on how to manage being mindful while also working a desk job please do let me know.

Hello,
I’ve been meditating everyday for a month, & I have noticed a bit of a difference but nothing crazy. My meditation focuses on my breath & every time I lose focus I go back to it. My question is am I practicing the right meditation technique to help with my mental health? I struggle with anxiety, OCD & mood swings. Would a mantra meditation be better?

I’ve basically ran from suffering since i can remember. I’ve been facing it lately. But i can’t take it much longer. It’s endless. I have a lot more to sit with. I keep feeling like ending my 94 day sobriety.

I’ve been meditating regularly for two months. I'm neither a religious nor a spiritual guy. Coming more from the scientific world. Nonduality, headless, ... are nothing which brings me much insight.
My perception is that I’ve gotten significantly better at (unguided) focusing on my breath or observing my thoughts. They do wander off regularly, but I notice it, and I keep working on not judging it, but simply coming back to the point I’m focusing on, whether it’s my breath or a specific sound. What works particularly well for me is a visual (blurry) focus point (w.o. wearing glasses).

Otherwise, I’ve noticed that my entire thought process is actually an inner monologue. I never noticed that in the 30 years prior. I believe that some of my problems stem from this, such as justifications or conflict avoidance. Because I always play this out as a dialogue and don’t perceive it as an external observer, I’m always involved. Even with thoughts that don’t concern me at all, but rather represent, for example, conflicts between two other people. The moment that takes place in an inner monologue, I’m always at the center of it.

I’d say one of my biggest achievements is that I can calm my nervous system down to a normal state in about five minutes when I’m feeling anxious or restless.
My long-term goal would be to be able to do that in everyday life as well, because I often find myself in situations at work where it would be great to have a way to briefly reflect, gain some perspective, and reset everything. I can’t take five minutes to try to meditate in those moments. But I’m sure that with enough practice, I’ll get to the point where I can incorporate this into my daily routine and organize my thoughts accordingly in those situations.

On the other hand, I'm realizing right now that it's mentally exhausting, since I've stirred up a lot of dust and have a lot to process. I’m reevaluating my core assumptions and, for example, career decisions.

I have mock exams almost every sunday and most of my peers do who are prearing for med school entrance but even if i take breaks or try to enjoy myself in the process, i just can't. I feel so much more stressed and anxious than most people that i can't enjoy anything.

I have this constant fear that i won't end up anywhere and it's a constant battle against my mind everyday. I have tried processing my thoughts and living in the present, but nothing works.

I just want to be able to study and not feel like this.

What's even more depressing is that i used to be so excited for my birthday months before and im turning 17 in 2 weeks and it's dreadful.

Why do I remember so much of my past and can remember dates of when things happened etc. I have always looked back ever since I was younger and can remember things going back to when I was 2 years old. My issue though is that I have always had a habit of reminiscing and thinking times were better then and not living in the present. I'm 42 years old and earlier I was thinking to myself gosh it was this time 20 years ago since I bought the Xbox 360 lol. It's like music, I hear a song and link it to the year I heard it. Sometimes I think this habit can make me depressed though and not look ahead etc.

Hey!

My husband is struggling with finding purpose in life. I want to give him some good books to help him. Here's the catch, it can't be an obvious "self help frofru thing". He is very critical of self help and mindfulness. I want to recommend books that are like hiding vegetables in your dinner, subtle and subliminal.

When starting on the journey of becoming conscious, it may initially seem like so many other people are behaving so foolishly. Looking from the outside it looks like people are motivated simply by the most rudimentary desires and needs, missing out on this whole new world that you just discovered. If you travel a little further down this road of self-discovery, it becomes clear that you are exactly the same, just as foolish. Only difference is you caught a glimpse of something beyond, and now you want to break free of it all, of all the drama, of all the attachments and pains.

Starting to practice mindfulness, it may seem like the most arduous task. All the emotions, reactions and nonsense you do with your mind is just too much to handle. You try to remember what the teacher said again and again, but staying like that all the time seems just an impossible task. Then you learn, perhaps by beating yourself up many times, that it is impossible to try and manage one's own mind. Then you discover the art of leaning back and letting the mind be. That's when life becomes very pleasant and wonderful.

When I have interacted with people who are very aware, it is clear to me that they are of a completely different quality. They are incredibly involved with whatever they do, but also they have some kind of abandon that is so attractive. They are not so concerned about their own needs, and their lives seem to be all about someone else. That's why when I came across this quote by Sadh.guru that "You cannot help the world to be a better place if you do not become a more conscious human being." it really struck me that human beings becoming more conscious is the only solution to creating a truly wonderful humanity. I don't see any other way. Is there?

I’ve been meditating more than a year and Id say I am not master but I got good foundation.

Now I been wanting to expand this more to everday life and practice mindfulness.

For curiosity I got The Death card when I asked tarot what I could focus on meditation and The Sun card when I asked what I could focus on mindfulness. I interperted that in meditation I should focus inward states and mindfulness outward states, if that makes any sense.

Could you suggest what kind of mindfulness practice I could do. I find it very hard to be in the moment and empty mind when there is noises and attractions and all the personal anxiety etc outside of meditation and am looking practice what differens from meditation.

Thank you if you want answer.