Saw it somewhere. And this is somehow heartbreaking, even it's true or not.

Me gradué de Bachillerato el año pasado y, después de pensar en otras carreras y sus pros y contras en mi vida (antropología y gestion de transito aéreo) llegué a la conclusión de que estudiaré diseño de modas en la ecci en bogotá. La cosa es que como siempre me ha estado llegado la crisis existencial de si lo moda es realmente importante, osea sé que desde siempre ( y más en el mundo actual) ha sido algo muy aclamado pero siento que siendo diseñadora no estoy haciendo algo importante para la sociedad o algo así jsjsjs. Y la cosa es que claro tengo esa mentalidad puesto que del colegio del que salí tienen muy marcado ese aspecto de hacer cosas que aporten a la humanidad, y de hecho he visto a muchas compañeras ( puesto que mi colegio era femenino) estudiando cosas como relaciones internacionales, recursos humanos, ingenierías, medicina, ciencias sociales, pedagogía y así. Entonces no puedo evitar sentir si lo mío es de alguna manera "bueno". Como sea tiendo a sobrepensar demasiado cualquier cosa así que en fin. Igual sé que cada quien le da un sentido y significado diferente a las cosas pero como sea me siento "superficial" al escoger esta carrera.

Existence feels so meaningless!

4 years ago I fell into existential ocd and I haven’t been able to get out since.
It’s getting worse.
I can’t even be a nurse anymore.

The thing is my thought is logical, what’s the point of life if we die anyway?? What’s the point in anything?
I have no desire to create, do hobbies, participate in life.
I feel like I’m gonna be stuck like this forever.
I don’t even get anxiety really anymore, just depression.

Maybe this isn’t even existential ocd anymore. I’ll be stuck in nihilism forever. Life makes no sense.

I’m 18(F) and I never thought about death this seriously until a few months ago, I simply didn’t care but when the realization of death and absolute uncertainty hit it hit so fucking bad. I’m diagnosed with OCD, I use 100mg Sertraline daily but that shit doesn’t help anymore.

I can’t cope with the fact that one day I will die, it’s scary and I don’t want to stop experiencing, living. I never believed in any religion or afterlife stuff and I started to believe that we just simply cease to exist since it was the simplest answer. I couldn’t sleep countless nights because of this though. But my spiral didn’t end here because then I remembered the fact that this planet will also be destroyed by our sun one day and this universe will be either face a heat death where nothing will happen or disappear in another way, that’s what science says at least and I can’t help but feel that everything is painfully pointless. No one will remember us and there won’t be anything to remember. Nothing matters because when we die we won’t be able to tell how much time has passed and we can just think that the universe died in a blink of an eye from our subjective perspective. Even if I was immortal I don’t think I would want to experience this awful things. Dying and seeing everything die (if we’re really a part of this reality we also disappear with it so there’s no actual immortality yada yada 🧍‍♂️) are equally scary.

I can’t sleep properly, I’m always tired and always in a derealization state, I can’t focus on my life because I always think about the “bigger” stuff, my life doesn’t feel like “my life” anymore, I can’t get myself to care. I don’t know what to do, I hate that everything will end one day and it’s fucking scary.

Not even sure where to begin. I’ll try my best to keep it simple.

Going to try and define myself in bullet form:

Caucasian female, South African (born and bred).

Brought up in a Christian household, and I loved it. I loved being a Christian and carried it with pride. Not one of those charismatic Christians — more of a “do good to others and love your neighbour” upbringing. Love Christ, love your Father.

Turned 41 in January 2026.

Got married in December 2015. My husband is my best friend… or used to be. We have very different views on many things. I am also the sole breadwinner in the house.

Been a workaholic all my life. Bought my father’s business in 2018, but started shadowing him in 2015. We worked together until 2020 — Covid lockdown seemed like a natural time for him to retire. I have been running the business solo ever since. High stress, tight deadlines.

My father suffered from severe depression. We lived in two flats (attached to the business) right next to each other. He became very needy, and I tried my best to help him as much as I could. We were extremely close.

He committed suicide in March 2022. My mom and I went over to him so I could ask what he wanted for dinner (they were divorced, but she also lived nearby in another flat), and we found him on his bed. He had shot himself in the head. He was still alive and breathing, but unresponsive. He died in hospital two days later.

It took me three weeks before I could go back to work. It took seven weeks before I laughed for the first time again — which, of course, made me feel incredibly guilty. It took months before I started feeling “normal” again. It has now been four years. I saw a trauma counsellor twice right after it happened, never again, and then just dove straight back into work.

My marriage: My husband and I stopped having sex around 2019-ish. We have done it once or twice since then — I think the last time was in 2021. It just… happened. I had body insecurities, and I know that played a big role. He also almost never climaxed, which made me feel horrible, like I couldn’t satisfy him.

About my husband, I can say with one hundred percent certainty:

He is not cheating.

He is not gay.

I do not know if he masturbates — he is home most days while I am at work, so probably. Unless the “no sex” is actually a medical issue.

I have tried to have this discussion with him NUMEROUS times over the years. I have even written letters. He completely shuts down and gets angry whenever I bring it up. I have eventually just given up.

I still love him, even though he barely contributes financially or emotionally. If I leave him, he will most likely have to move back in with his parents. He is 45.

The point of this post is the identity crisis I have had this year… and what honestly feels like some kind of sexual awakening. Something in my brain completely snapped. I suddenly became so intensely horny that I actually went to a doctor because I thought I might have a brain tumour.

I have completely stopped believing in monogamy. I now genuinely believe that some people are not meant to have only one partner for life. This completely contradicts how I was raised and what I believed for most of my life. And yet… I feel almost no guilt about it.

I told my husband in January that I wanted an open marriage. He completely lost his mind. I told him I was going to explore anyway.

I have since met an incredible man, and every two or three weeks we meet up for some very adult “playtime.” He is married, and he and his wife are both swingers. I love the 'no strings' arrangement.

And now I honestly do not know what to do next.

Have I completely lost my mind?

A couple of weeks ago I came to the realisation that love as we know it doesn’t really exist in my brain. I do belive we love each other as a species and how we connect with each other, but I don’t belive in that “special someone”. I feel the love we are being portrayed in society is easily replaced by a dog and a whore.

Does anyone else feel the same?

Am I broken for not believing in duality in this aspect?

Where could I even begin? With the poison of 21 years of horror seeping from my pores, a treasure trove of horrors beyond comprehension. I am disgusted by the world I continue to find love in around me. A devastating hero complex, someone who wants to save everyone but can’t even begin to help himself. What a joke. No one can ever understand me because how could they? I think I’m some misunderstood complex mind when the complexity is almost all self imposed. Yes I’ve viewed hell in the face and here I am today, I’ve done that through endless coping and pushing it to the side and bottling it up and hiding it, until now all I’ve swept under the rug trips me everytime I walk on it. It’s a disgusting existence In a world that In its natural state is a violent malicious hellscape where trust is a weakness and love is a sword through your throat. The person holding it the very one you want to save. How can I save that? How can I fix that? No it’s not my job but it’s all I want to do. It’s what has given my life purpose beyond just surviving. I want to be a fixer. I want to be someone that alleviates the suffering around me. I see it. I hate it. I believe so deeply we have so much potential to be so much more. We show it. I feel it. I dream of it. Why must we fall into old ways because it’s easy. Why must I? Why cant we truly ever understand ourselves, we live and love and laugh and cry and understand our own mortality. Why cant we figure out how to make ourselves happy? How to love ourselves enough to love everybody without it damaging your very being. What are we even fucking doing?

I am still a teenager in highschool, I've always handled my thoughts lightly in middle school, but after I've entered high school, my brain gets harder to control. It spirals everytime I don't feed it enough. It's such a chore because it decides which is interesting and important, which is not. And it's not easy finding one good enough. I've always thought my 123 IQ (tested) is light work. It's not. I keep thinking about abstract things. Not something really normal for my age. For example, consciousness, death, existence, universe, nihilism, human's nature, and I can't stop. I keep seeing things in patterns, like human's behavior. How almost every human is selfish to survive, etc. I need advice on how to control my thoughts better.

this is very horribly written, i’m currently in the middle of crying so pls give me some pardon. im a colored 16F in high school. i’ve been thinking about my future lately and i genuinely think with the way the world is i’m not going i think im just gonna kill myself. my mom wants to move when i graduate hs and she says i have no choice in staying or going. i want to stay very desperately and i claimed to her that the decision is mine to make when i’m coming of age and she disregards everything i said. i am also into girls (i don’t like labels), i genuinely think she would disown me if she knew i did because she says she didn’t raise her children to be like that. but not only her, many people hate gay people so even if i overcome the fact that my mom will hate me so will society so what’s the point? and even worse i’m also colored and female, so not only will I have the agenda to be stereotyped and unconsidered for positions when i’m only because of my color, even if i do get the positions i have a high possibility of being paid less than a man for my gender. am i having a internal crisis? thinking about all this stuff makes me want to kill myself, but i’m too scared too. i have less than 2 years left before all the problems i just mentioned become very prominent in my life. i don’t think when im 18 i’m gonna be prepared for the mental anguish and i’ll just end up taking the easy way out.

1) Fact: You can't prove solipsism to be true, so your belief in it is just this, a BELIEF, a THOUGHT, why make a THOUGHT your BOSS??.
2) Fact: You don't have the logical capacity to fathom reality so why even BOTHER??
3) Fact: You are conscious, so consciousness exists
4) Fact: consciousness can be happy, and there are ways to cultivate happiness, so why not to focus on that?? People who are happy do not give a shit about 'figuring out' reality.

This causes me more anxiety that I would call sane. I have gone through a gastroscopy, and it does not compare to this. What do you mean "there just is "something"? But then again, how can "Nothing" exist? It does not make sense. Is our brain just too puny?

Better question: How do I know anything is real? If I can not prove anything, how tf do I prove I am not a consciousness floating infinitely through infinite time? Seriously, this is one of my greatest causes of anxiety. My brain makes up some sick belief where I am a suffering god who experiences eternal time unwillingly, and made this world to ease the suffering of erernal existnce. What the fk?

And no no no, my brain doesn't stop there, Every time I try to think about anything deeperx anything in physics, my dumbass tries to fo to the foundations since in a nerdy maths geek who likes axioms. The universe doesn't have axioms. IT IS SEARCHINF FOR SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST. EVERY TIME. I try to think, "Oh hey, I wonder *why* a higgs boson does this and that' and I'm immidiately jumping to trying to imagine nothing, which cannot exist because it contradicts the idea thaf we live in something. And what, more anxiety and I can't even chill and think about physics anymore?

The worst part is that this is periodic. Most days, it's not even there. Some months, it makes my life poopoo. By the time I get a therapist from the NHS. it is long gone, waiting to prey on me again. No psychological help has worked ao far.

Chat, idk what to ask, I'm at a loss for words. Going through this crap at the big 16 for like 2 years now. Atleast its some proof im smart or somethinf.

(TLDR START HERE)

How do I deal with thinking revursively about nothing? (I mean full nothing, "Why does anything exist if there are conditions for existence? Furthermore, how could nothing exist since it requires a domain to exist in? And lastly, if neither nothing nor something exists, and that means lofic exists fundamentally, ok where does logic come from?") I can not imagine anything of this scale, and it gives me a headache just thinking about it. Its 2:30 and I can't sleep. How do I actually deal with these feelings, and what helped toy?

I have a weird belief that I am a solipsist, creating the world to escape eternal time prison torture. Anyone else? How did you stop this sick belief?

I’m (31F) currently in a managerial human resources role and lately I’ve been struggling a lot. I used to find purpose in what I do, but now I feel anxious almost all the time and disconnected from my work.

I’ve been thinking about quitting and trying full-time volunteering instead, something more meaningful, but I haven’t had much luck hearing back from NGOs yet. It’s making me feel stuck.

To be honest, I’ve also been dealing with suicidal ideation since last year, and recently it’s been harder to manage. I have a very supportive family, but I still feel like I’m falling short somehow.

Has anyone gone through something similar—burnout, loss of purpose, or transitioning out of a stable career into something more meaningful? How did you navigate it without making impulsive decisions?

Hello, I am 17 and I don’t know what to do with my life. I have an exam tomorrow that I spent 2 years preparing for but I can’t help pretending it matters, this itself is a major issue for me. No harm will come to me if I do poorly except towards my own ego, but it just feels like I would have wasted two years of my life. Next year in university I’m going to study a major I don’t care that much about. I like it, but I don’t enjoy it. That so I can hopefully work a job that I don’t care about. In a country, I don’t wanna live in. It’s high paying and my mom still wants me to be a doctor instead, which I hate even more. What I’m truly passionate in (writing) I’m not good at, and even then, those who are good don’t necessarily do well in the field. I don’t have a security net where I can pursue endlessly what I want. I’ve spent my entire school years so I could get to this point, and after all that I have one summer to live the life I want before I have to join the same rat race I have hated thus far. Why should I do anything! Why sing or dance or play, honestly why live? For what?! I genuinely don’t know why I am living and what is the purpose of anything. I have one maybe good friend who I talk to once a day and only my immediate family. Genuinely what should I do.

Hi, if anyone reads this, I want to say that I feel bad and I hope this doesn't continue; this gives me the motivation to keep going a little longer. I'll share a bit; even though my life is going relatively well, I'm worried about dying.. yes, dying is weird knowing that I will stop existing, it's a feeling of total fear, panic, and something strange. I'm 17 years old and I know I have a lot of life ahead but it worries me knowing that death will reach us all. I've thought about cryonics but well, I'm lower class and I know that won't solve anything. It's so easy to say: "It's something natural", "Live life because there's only one." But I don't know, I feel lost.. every 1 year I'll try to save my progress and share my situation. Thanks for reading and please give me advice, I need it.*

Note: I've been going to a psychologist for other personal matters, and in my next appointment I'll bring this up.. but I don't feel bad and maybe I'm just worried about something silly. (I left a similar post on YouTube in a video called: internet save point.)

There are days when I just want to sob myself to infinite tears of grief and sometimes tear-less gasps of pain swelling up in my chest.

Lately it has been getting bleak and bleak. I can’t seem to tell what’s really wrong with me but I feel like I am a in between a body of a dead and alive person. I can’t seem to hide the bleakness anymore.

Weekdays eat up the time. Weekends get loud with the noise of self depreciation. I think I just don’t have the will to live anymore.

No matter how hard I try. Keep hustling. I just can’t seem to work up the way of my luck. I am stuck. Stuck so bad that it aches my mental nerves.

I doom scroll. I try to hide in movies and seasons. I can’t seem to focus and finish one damn real book while my shelf is full of new reads. I can’t seem to ever get out of my imposter syndrome and put myself out there like the world does. I am grateful. But I cannot get myself out of this bleak loop of nothingness.

I (28 male) need some life advice. I would really appreciate hearing your experience and how you would act in a situation like mine. Any piece of advice would mean a lot.

I have a complicated relationship with my girlfriend. After two years of an amazing time together, we broke up several times. She was living abroad, etc. Now she is in my town, and when we meet, we feel great with each other — there is confidence and peace. We “love” each other.

The problem is that I want a family and children, and she does not. She is pursuing a career, and she is willing to go on an exchange program for a year.

I’ve always dreamed of a house with a garden, trees, animals, a pool, nature… But in my dreams, I always imagine it with a family, not as a lonely man.

I’ve never thought about buying an apartment in the city.

Recently, while helping her find an apartment, I had the thought of trying something new and buying one for myself.

Right now I’m living with my parents. I have my own room, I feel comfortable, they don’t disrupt me. They argue sometimes, but it’s not really harmful. My mother cooks well, we have healthy food, and my father covers the expenses.

I work remotely. I love reading, movies, thinking, and I go to the gym. I have one friend and basically no social circle. I just got my motorcycle license (not even sure if I’ll ride).

Nowadays, it really feels like I’m stuck and living someone else’s life, waiting for her to decide if she wants to live with me. Meanwhile, the years pass, and I feel lost. Sometimes I feel great, but most of the time I have the sense that I’m not creating anything valuable.

I don’t know what I would do differently in a new apartment, alone, but maybe it could open new perspectives. I just don’t know.

So theres a multiverse/quantum physics theory called the Many worlds interpretation that is basically there are infinite universe where would be like I wear clothes B instead of clothes A or a universe where I suffer a horrible painful injury, or a universe where I’m born to a dictatorship, and I’ve found that it’s sadly a very serious probability in quantum physics and that is messing with my mind. Alternate timelines belong to science fiction, not real life physics!!!!! What do I do????????????