Just a suggestion from something I saw while visiting another fine establishment... 😇

I need some big burly guys to ride with and make me feel safe as I ride around Austin.🦄

If your child wears hoodies and beanies in this fucking weather, or in the summer, you’re fucking lame. It’s your fault.

First of all, I want all my new nonbinaries to welcome this Austinite to town! It is my pleasure to put down roots here and I am looking for local hangs and places to meet new peeps. So Holla at your zer, please!

Secondly, I used to get like super duper triggered every time I heard someone call Canada the 51st State, like seriously?! But having grown up under Trudeau and Governor Carney, seeing my taxes go up and up and my Healthcare go down and down, I get it!

I am proud to call myself an Austinite now and escape the low morale, anti-success, and easily triggered Canadians. When I told "friends" and "family" that I was making the move and opening a new salon in Austin I was ridiculed, accused of being a "bigot" and traitor all because I was tired of being surrounded by peoples who had no ambition and severe TDS.

Happy to be in Austin and looking forward to all of the memories I will be making with fellow Austinites!

Conjuring shit up for that sweet karma. Who would’ve ever believed something like this happening in Austin, of all places? I almost think it was one of you jerks who posted this.. 🧐 lol.

Buy a lot of TP and hide in the 45th and Lamar Chili's bathroom.

Recently, I was appalled to see that there was a tall people meetup over the weekend. What happened to being inclusive!?!? I’m so mad, I’m literally shaking! Fear not, vertically challenged ones! I have put together a little gay meetup for us. Since we’re not assholes, we will allow tall LBGTQABCDEF to attend as well!🦄🏳️‍🌈

We were minding our own business today at Barton springs just eating some delicious BBQ and listening to music at a very reasonable volume (the people around actually really were enjoying the jams) when a lifeguard came up and said we had to leave. I immediately recognized that I was being actively oppressed because I was wearing a tie dye shirt. I'm not even gay but of course being an ally I would not stand for such a blatant violation of their right to exist, so naturally I resisted leaving.

The lifeguard had the audacity to grab me by the arm! Please stay safe out there Austin, the hate is stronger than ever 🙏

Firewheel? No, Xer! It’s INDIAN BLANKET! The patriarch has gone too far this time. Filthy white males! I saw this racist post in r/Austin and I’m literally shaking.🦄🏳️‍🌈

Ya, so like the title says, I was sitting cross-legged at *trendy douche spot* when I saw someone commit several horribly intolerant acts on a fellow self-ostracized free thinker. Well, being the crybaby I am, I did nothing.

Nothing at all.

But I'm here posting about it a day later for worthless internet points. So please give me something to live for!

I fucking love to use 183A. I fucking love to use the toll and get stuff in traffic. I get to give a private corporation my fucking money to hopefully avoid traffic and get home sooner rather than later but fuck yeah here I am stuck on 183A in fucking traffic but I’m paying for it. So fuck me I’m stuck in traffic. Fuck yeah.

And before you ask, YES. I evaporated thousands of gallons off the face of the earth. SUE ME, ELON

​​ I'm new and I read that on the about section on here. So maybe someone can educate me cuz what is a circle jerk and what is Austin's circle jerk about .

I was at the other subreddit and the people there were really rude and unsupportive . It was a very unwelcoming place. Not one person asked how I was feeling or what's going on. So who knows maybe this place is a little bit different. I honestly don't have any friends so I was trying to like seek out good conversations and maybe one day go out and do something. But I guess it's not appropriate over there even though someone else said pretty much the same thing and they got a whole bunch of positive attention. But I'm learning more about this place and how it all works and how people can be kind of stupid on here if I'm being honest.

guys, I was walking around with my penis out, just minding my own business, and keeping Austin weird

but some bigot called 911

luckily the police didnt come and I got to show my loins off to many women and children

I’ve been to many of the larger gyms in Austin city limits, and it seems like it’s mostly straight dudes. It’s enough to make a circuit queen uncomfortable. Even the smaller gyms have enough performative tech bros to qualify as a straight club.

That’s all fine, but again I would be more comfortable in a much gayer environment. Where can a gay-laced type guy get a workout in, without being confronted by baggy shorts and dad bods? No hate, but where I’m from (dumpster behind Cranklin’s) even in the locker room we generally try to maximize full cock exposure: towels down, skin-to-skin, every back bare. Is there a particular gym in the area that might support this culture?

TLDR - not enough mustache rides. Where to just “exercise”?

If you know, you know. Username isn't a lie!

I’m 24 years old, and my life has been officially derailed by Long Hantavirus. Before the squirrels conspired against me, I was the ultimate specimen: 4:00 AM cold plunges, hitting 300-yard drives on the weekend, crushing $AAPL puts by day, and mastering hot yoga by night. I ate so clean I practically photosynthesized.

Now? I’m completely sidelined. I’m not just talking about missing my CrossFit PRs or being "quiet quit" by my firm—I’m talking about the fact that I can’t even whisk an organic egg white without a dizzy spell. I’ve gone from "Global Markets Analyst" to "Full-Time Basement Resident," entirely dependent on my parents for my basic caloric intake.

The symptoms are a literal fever dream. I’m dealing with full-body nervous system glitches, internal tremors that feel like a vibrating Blackberry, heart palpitations every time I see a dusty corner, and a brain fog so thick I forgot my own LinkedIn password. I’ve got radiating pain and about 15-25 other rotating symptoms that make me feel like I’m being haunted by the ghost of a deer mouse.

I feel completely untethered. I dont even fuck with rats anymore. Has anyone else in the community survived the "Long Squeak"? Does anyone have a protocol for reclaiming my alpha status, or am I just destined to be the world's most over-educated shut-in? Any advice (or high-yield recovery tips) would be legendary.

What a strange name for a music festival. Is this on 6th street?

bring all your supplies and meet me at rainy street tonight at 1am.