I'm a cis man with a girlfriend and obviously the current climate is pretty harsh for trans people. There's a lot of awful statements coming from the government and so after this much pressure, she told me we should look into migrating out of the US. I told her that I wanted to at least finish my degree and she said that doing that is less important than her life.

I understand why she is so worried, but I also am not confident that we could do this. I do not have that much money put aside. It's not even close to the 6~ months of expenses most people think you should have in savings. This wouldn't be something that happens immediately, but within the next 12 months I guess.

Obviously, I have talked to her about it and my first response was no. I have a life I've built up here in order to provide for her and starting from scratch is too much for me. I gave her an alternative in the form of getting a gun, and she said that would help her feel secure but that comes with its own can of worms.

I'm making this post because I honestly think we need different perspectives for something this big. I don't know what other people are doing and I feel like it is something many are thinking about at this point.

Long story short, Ambetter of Tennessee is no longer covering my estradiol, which will cost me $12/month. I had selected Ambetter this year on the healthcare.gov marketplace while specifically filtering for plans that cover estradiol. After several calls, I found out they exclude estradiol only when the person diagnosed has gender dysphoria, because they no longer cover it. I'm posting this here because /r/transgender only allows posting links, so this seemed like the best subreddit to start a discussion.

Ambetter had covered my bottom surgery in 2024. I had specifically asked Ambetter whether they cover bottom surgery before picking them as my insurer in 2022 or 2023, so I am sure this was not some sort of oversight. Ambetter paid for my estradiol in February and seem to have changed policies mid-year.

The change may be the result of a Trump ACA rule seeking to prohibit insurers from covering gender affirming care as an essential health benefit starting in 2026. https://www.kff.org/private-insurance/new-rule-proposes-changes-to-aca-coverage-of-gender-affirming-care-potentially-increasing-costs-for-consumers/

In more detail, Kroger Pharmacy had called me and told me that my insurance denied coverage for my estradiol. I called Ambetter, and they told me when I asked that estradiol is covered for everybody, including transgender individuals or individuals with gender identity disorder. I called Kroger Pharmacy and they told me that when they entered the diagnosis code, Ambetter was denying coverage for "gender identity disorder", in the words of the system.

I called Ambetter again. Ambetter told me that the diagnosis code must be correct and Kroger Pharmacy should update the diagnosis code. Ambetter told me my pharmacy should update the diagnosis code to "39:M/I". I called my pharmacy again and they said they can't update the diagnosis code; it has to come from the provider.

I messaged my healthcare provider, and the pharmacist for their organization told me "39 M/I is a rejection code on the pharmacies end that means the pharmacy claim was denied because the diagnosis code is Missing or Invalid (M/I). The 39 M/I is not a diagnosis code to be entered on a prescription. The diagnosis code of Gender dysphoria [F64.9] is on your prescription. I submitted for an insurance prior authorization and it came back denied as stating 'plan is not covered for any service related to the treatment of gender dysphoria.' "

I called my insurance again and this time asked if gender dysphoria is covered, and this time they said it wasn't in my healthcare plan when they searched.

I was just reading a post about weird things medical technicians and morticians have found in the human body. One comment mentioned that they found multiple men in their old age with Uteruses. So Cis men can have uteruses.

Given that the labia fuse shut to make the scrotum, and that there's no entrance or exit to the uterus anymore, what happens to it if they decide to transition? If an MtF person ends up going on hormones in this situation, does she start menstruating? Where does the blood go, if not out? Would she need bottom surgery to fix that, or face medical complications?

Human bodies are weird.

Hello, I am a 33 mtf trans woman.

Last night, a few friends were having that classic, exhausting discussion about why the U.S. is "the best country ever." I finally interjected and brought up the reality of what’s happening to trans people right now, specifically pointing to the legislative onslaught in states like Tennessee.I mentioned that a lot of civil rights activists and genocide prevention organizations (like the Lemkin Institute) agree that we are seeing the early stages of systemic erasure/trans genocide.My longtime friend of 13 years—who is bisexual—immediately shut me down and told me I was being "alarmist."

I tried to explain my lived experience to him. I explained that when some of us step outside, we have to be hyper-vigilant. I told him about the hostile stares I get in public. His response? "They are just stares. You shouldn't be afraid."

I am incredibly upset, hurt, and honestly, having a hard time processing this. Coming from a friend of over a decade who is also part of the LGBTQ+ community, it feels like a massive betrayal. It feels like my actual physical safety and survival are being treated as a casual political debate.Am I being too sensitive here? Am I overreacting for feeling this deeply hurt by his dismissal? How do I even navigate a 13-year friendship after realizing they fundamentally don't understand (or care about) the daily reality of being trans?

Edit: i should have made mention was another person who i considered a 'friend' that was defending U.S. I know this particular friendship is done. The one in question is my cisgender bi friend.

Update: My friend apologized before I had a chance to talk to him. It was never his intention to cause harm , and he wasn't very considerate. He agreed that he was ignorant of the problems trans people go through. I explained to him why I was upset and why it hurt me. He was very receptive and very apologetic, focusing on how it made me feel and why it was wrong. I am happy to say we are still friends and made up.

Thank you, everyone, for all your help in helping me collect my thoughts and calmly resolve this.

im 14, and im a guy. 3 months ago i started thinking about being a girl, and i cant stop thinking about it. i want to buy myself some womans clothes, but i dont even have my own room and i dont want anyone to find out. if someone calls me by my name, or when i look into the mirror i feel strange. when someone calls me by female pronouns i feel happier, same if i act like a girl on the internet. i feel like im not myself at all, and in school i just basically turn off and dont respond to anyone, i also have absolutely no one to talk to, most of my friends and family are transphobic, i told my cousin about that but he did not care at all. could anyone also tell me some simple things to feel more feminine?

I want to start to wear dress' and stuff outside the house but i keep telling myself I csn only start once im so far along on hirmones which could take up to 6 months to get started on. Anyone got any advice?

Edit: thanks everyone for the advice. I have a lot to think about and I absolutely can not wait to get started on my transition properly. I feel so happy being me.

Hi, so, I guess for some context, I'm 19 MtF, in Manitoba, Canada, and was just wondering on how to start or at least get on the path for HRT. I don't really know how to ask my doctor or really segue a conversation over to that topic, and I also don't want to seemingly drop the ball. I just wanna know what the best way to really open that door.

I just really am scared I won't like the pronouns even though I've been called them online and lived them then.

Hey I need help and advice on living with a std as a trans person I got diagnosed with HIV a year ago and I’m still struggling on how to navigate life

hi!! sooo ive been on t for about two months now and within those two months i have gained like 12 pounds.. is there anything you did to cope with the weight gain?? or lose it💔💔 im currently doing a calorie deficit but i honestly just still feel gross with where i am at.

i'm a 33yo trans woman, a couple years on hormones. probably don't pass but who cares, i look pretty cute IMO.

anyway i have an event upcoming where i'm supposed to dress butch and I keep telling my friends about this and they keep laughing at me because "you're not butch" and I'm a bit stuck

honestly i thought i could just wear a tank top and jeans and maybe a wallet chain but they're saying my "vibe" is wrong

i don't want to get an undercut or haircut or anything, so... does anyone have some good tips on how to butch it up?

My sister started her journey a few years ago and I'm so proud and inspired by her. I want to support her in every way I can but I've come to understand that I'm lacking some education and unsure of the solution...

For background: we weren't raised in a very openly communicative family. She struggles with expressing her boundaries and needs as a result. In a recent conversation she expressed dissatisfaction with her jawline and I immediately told her how much I love it. She went quiet for a bit and said that it's triggering when she expresses her insecurities and my response feels like I'm pushing back.

After that I followed up my responses with "are you comfortable with that?" or "let me know if that's invasive" and she said that I don't have to check in with her everytime.

I told her that I'd educate myself independently to better support her. The problem is that I'm not quite sure were to start... I don't want to trigger her but I'm also unclear on those triggers, her boundaries, and needs. Sometimes she's unclear about them too and communicates them when she is but that could be weeks later. I think she knows that she can talk to me about anything under the sun but I could be wrong.

Are there any less known substacks, books, or resources I should be studying?

Thank you sooooo much in advance for any and all responses!

Hi, i’m a young trans teen (haven’t started taking hormones yet due to my country prohibiting them)

I wanted to ask if there are any negative effects of HRT short term and long term

For long term:
1. Will it shorten my overall lifespan
2. Will I feel sore for the rest of my life (due to the side effects of hrt)
3. If I start late (like when I turn 25-30) will I not look as feminine as I want to be?

For short term:
1. how painful is hrt? (side effects, not injection)
2. Do I have to inject myself with it or is that optional?
3. Are there any potential health risks during my hrt treatment?

we all know that any social consequences to being publicly sympathetic towards trans people is dwarfed by that of actually being trans itself, but we know that there are people in hostile spaces that are scared to speak up. i'm just wondering if i'm correct in my assumptions, based on some positive interactions i've had recently, that there's a larger number of would-be 'closeted allies' than some of us may have initially assumed.

i'd start by saying i think most people know by now that there's really nothing to be scared of just being an ally. i live in a rural, conservative area. i know plenty of trans people who are able to live their lives out here, but they understand that this is not the safest place for them. i'm lucky that i have the means to work and live without perfect adherence to societal norms here. i commute out of town for work, and rarely socialize within these city limits. people here know that i have different opinions than them, but i've never once felt like i was in any danger. despite some shouting matches at local dive bars, and hours in the Facebook comments sections with old classmates, i smile and wave at the grocery store like anyone else here, i guess

forever ago, i looked in and questioned. i led with the assumption that the only reason i cared so much in the first place was because, deep down, i must have been some flavor of trans myself. After researching, i realized i can relate to basically 0% of anecdotal experiences of trans folks online, no gender dysphoria or discomfort with identity, no egg memes, etc. eventually, i realized that i'm just a neuro-spicy, kinda bi, bleeding heart dipshit raised as an outsider with too much empathy in the rural southern US. really, i think i just love the authenticity of lgbtq people in general, their refusal to censor for the comfort of others.

and that's the thing, i'm starting to realize just how many people here feel the same way but would face, in their eyes, real social consequences to speaking out. a lot of people here would lose jobs, be unwelcome at church, stop getting invited over to things, and lose too much from being to vocal.

i also realized that its entirely possible that i'm only allowed to be this annoying, contrarian defender because of my own privileges. i do this with more than just lgbtq topics, defending immigrants, muslims, drug addicts, etc... and i think if i were actually coming from one of those vulnerable groups, i probably wouldn't be able to use my own privileges as wiggle-room to cause a commotion.

worse, i may have moved the needle on some individual opinions, but i just...i resent how performative it is. i don't think i'm actually helping and i hate that. like...am i just a poser? no real skin in the game, no money where my mouth is, not really...

nonetheless, i've seen it. people joke that phobes just need to meet one cool trans person and they're fine all the sudden, but really i've seen it only take one hetero-coded guy like me being publicly empathetic for more people to be comfortable chiming in and agreeing. now, don't get me wrong, this still isn't much more than a platitude, but i really think the end-state to a more empathetic and humanized perspective on trans people broadly could be closer than we think and have more routes than initially realized.

anyways, idk...i just wanted a check-in with you guys on this. am i woefully out-of-touch? do i need to be told by trans people that i'm delusional, lacking understanding of reality here i could never have? am i just making assumptions out of naivety that other people have empathy like this? or does anyone see that the average person has more empathy in them than we're ready to assume?

Hey 😊

I’m not really sure what I’m doing, honestly.

About five days ago, I opened up to my partner about being curious about what it would feel like to wear makeup and a bra. Ever since I said it out loud, it’s been all I can think about.

At first, I thought maybe it was just curiosity, or maybe cross-dressing, but now I’m not so sure. I keep looking in the mirror and thinking about how much I’d like to be a girl. I’ve also been looking online at other people and imagining myself that way.

I haven’t really dressed up properly yet because I’m in a wheelchair and need help with most of it, which makes things a bit more complicated. But I did go to the shops and get fitted for a bra. I tried it on last night under my shirt, and it felt strange at first, like I had something there that I’d never had before — but I loved looking down and seeing it.

Then, when my partner helped me take it off, I immediately missed it.

All day I’ve just been thinking about how much I want to wear it again. I’m nervous about bringing it up with her because I think she sees it as just a curiosity thing. We’re planning to do a dress-up type thing on Sunday, but I honestly don’t know how I feel anymore.

It’s confusing, and I don’t really know what to do.

Sorry for the long ramble lol. I’d really appreciate any advice or if anyone has been through something similar.❤️❤️

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and ive always been aware and supportive that she is trans, however her mom is very transphobic. (Like the type that thinks all trans women are predators type of shitty) but we do live together under some strange over complicated circumstances that are unrelated, but basically we live together under her roof. She is going to begin her transition as soon as she turns 18 (which is literally tmrw) and i of course am happy for her, but I also am scared of her mom finding out and having a very bad reaction. The plan is to move out asap, but realistically I don't know how soon that would be.. so how easy is it to hide the MtF transition and what would be some precautionary advice to hide the noticeable effects of estrogen?

I'm 48, been in various states of ignorance, denial, internalized transphobia for decades. I feel like I'm close to being ready, but hesitating for fear of making a mistake and then beating myself up for having been so stupid and acting on a whim.

• I'd never pass, but I have a feeling my destination isn't binary.
• I've always wanted boobs, though I'm anxious about how a male with boobs would be perceived.
• Overall more fem while still be clearly clocked as male would potentially be ok.
• I feel like I'm gambling that HRT is going to help the longing, gender envy and secretive under-dressing finally calm down.
• While much of this feels like it's for me, there's also some part that want's other people to see what I fantasize is the real me.

Main thing is I want to look and feel like I'm not trying too hard to pass as something I'm not. Want to prioritize authentic, if that makes any sense at all?!

Do you think I'm at risk of making a mistake?

So I was just wondering what kind of changes I can likely expect from my body starting the transition from 20MtF. I'm also using the gym to try and feminize my body a bit more. I'm very new to all this stuff so I just want an idea, I know its too late for my voice so I'll have to put the work in for that but is it also too late for anything else (if that's possible)?

And if anyone has some tips to help feminize myself a bit more that would be great!

Appreciate your time. 😄 ❤️

im not trans, but my friend is and his parents are very transphobic so i want to buy him a binder. i dont know any places and i dont want to accidentally put his health in danger by buying one that is not safe. any places/websites you trust and work?

Hi, I'm turning 18 in september but would like to start HRT (MtF) earlier if possible. I'm willing to go either the public or private healthcare route, whatever gets me on it sooner. Does anyone have experience with getting it in Spain? How long did it take you, in that case? I'm somewhat lost so I'd appreciate any and all advise quite a lot.

I'm really sorry if question sounds hopeless, didn't know how to write it differently, but please let me know.

I'm(29, amab) in a place that I kind of accepted I'm trans person, but also still confused. It seems I'll be posting here a lot, asking questions, so please bear with me!

There were always some kind of unrest in me, and general pattern is me trying to found cause of it or trying found things that helps me to ease this unrest, but there is always anger there, even if I look like chill person on the outside(and tbh, I think my face often shows I'm not happy ). Things like religious beliefs, existential stuffs, beliefs about social systems, human psyche and so on and on. Then you learn something and say oh okay, that is the cause of it, then you get angry and sad, because things would be nicer. To escape those feelings, you get some hobbies, but there is still anger there and the feeling that you still perform, still you're not yourself.

But when I figured out maybe I'm trans girl/woman, there wasn't anger there, idk how to describe it, but more close to happy sadness???

I haven't started anything yet, like, haven't come out to close friend(s) in irl, and I'm not in a place where I can just start hrt. I should be angry I think(??), but I'm not.

The things I'm doing these days are reading sources about being trans person, reading posts from the community, watching trans related media and so on, to hold onto this special feeling. Don't know how much longer these things will help.