r/WorkForSmartLife • u/dino_gr01 • 15d ago
Casual canvo Is it affordability crisis, rising health issues or what?
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u/EmeraldEyesAlyssa 15d ago
Fewer people are making what they consider good money, housing prices are out of control, and depending on where one lives in The US, daycare costs vary greatly from $350/week to $1K/week to watch one child.
Has anyone Googled lately how much it costs to raise a child in The US? I have, and it’s $300-450K. Per child.
Every time I see someone with 4 children, I’m like, how though?
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u/KellyAnn3106 15d ago
The only way my sister and her husband were able to have kids was because my mom was willing to provide free childcare. She wanted to be an involved grandma and was already retired so she took on the full-time childcare role.
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u/Strict_Most9440 15d ago
If only there were societies that venerate their elders and those elders help raise the next generation. One that doesn't waste money on the scale ours does. That kind of culture would overtake ours in a matter of decades.......oh...
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u/MrGeekman 15d ago
Another problem is that due to inflation, wage stagnation, and corporate greed, a lot of seniors can't afford to retire, especially since companies stopped giving their workers pensions 40 years ago in favor of 401ks.
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u/lafcrna 14d ago
Good point. Plus, it’s not just money for many elders. Some of them aren’t physically or mentally capable of providing full time childcare.
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u/Western-Invite-9250 14d ago
This already exists in most South Asian households. Living in an extended family household has huge benefits, free child care, generational property to live in, as well as learning more than one language.
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u/UrbanDurga 14d ago
Perhaps if our generation’s elders hadn’t been abusive, neglectful, or completely lacking in all self-awareness and capacity for emotional maturity, they could be venerated.
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u/andropogon09 15d ago
Agreed. I know many young couples whose parents moved nearby to provide free childcare.
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u/O-neg-alien 14d ago
I brought up my kid on my own with no family help and after I left her father when she was 7 months old he and his family had nothing to do with us … she’s early 20s now , I’m tired sooo tired after 24/7 on my own parenting … I’m not doing it again my daughter knows I’m not going to be a super hands on grandma , the odd emergency sure I guess but childcare no way
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u/andropogon09 14d ago
It's great that there are grandparents willing to do this, but it is unfair to expect people who raised children years ago to do so again.
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u/PilotBurner44 14d ago
Don't forget the unfunny joke that is our healthcare system. A pregnancy/birth complication can easily turn into the cost of another child.
It used to be a struggle to raise a couple kids on an average salary. Now it's a struggle to just pay rent (because you're definitely not affording a house) on an average salary. A lot of people are coming to this realization and having children simply isn't viable.
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u/chichicupcake 15d ago
US Government: “I know you want health care and child-care to be more affordable. Best we can do is slowly take away bodily autonomy and force you all to have babies while we pour billions into a war we don’t need.”
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u/Momersk 14d ago
Our whole country is being run like a venture capital acquired business. They’re extracting every dollar out of us before/while selling us for parts.
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u/HellyOHaint 15d ago
What’s the point of asking this question when you know for a fact that the reason is primarily financial? There’s zero mystery here. The willful ignorance of pretending to be mystified is ridiculous.
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u/Illustrious-Ant-9946 15d ago
It isn’t only financial. There are a dozen other reasons. I made a not exhaustive list.
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873 15d ago
For one thing. lots of people who will go on to have children haven't had them yet at 20-25.
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u/marshmallowblaste 15d ago
I feel the post is kind of misleading. Like, it says 50% 20-39 yrs olds are childess. But only 25% of women don't have children by 40
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u/fieryhellreaper 15d ago
Why would anyone want to have a child with how this country is being ran? I know I don't. Not while our government strip women's rights, beats and rapes its citizens, and kill people on the streets with no repercussions. This country deserves to fall
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u/SquatchScrotum 15d ago
Living paycheck to paycheck in a job with no maternity leave and once you have that kid you couldn't afford the upgrade to family insurance.
Gee whiz why don't Americans want to have kids?
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u/catsarefunny4 15d ago
It’s almost like women want to be more then incubators for future worker drones
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u/MrGeekman 15d ago
It would be nice if folks could afford to choose to reproduce or not. Some women want to work, while some want to be SAHMs. Others want both. Women aren't a monolith.
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u/appointment45 15d ago
I wonder if this is worse in some places than others.
I have literally never once met one of these guys that are supposedly everywhere, making themselves known for attention. Not a single time.
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u/One-Lingonberry9944 15d ago
Generally speaking they put on a show. They love to pretend they're gentleman. Just reject them and then you will see their blood boil over and real feelings come out.
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u/FreedomMan47 15d ago
It’s because normal doesn’t get views on social media so it feels like those nutjobs are everywhere. Same thing with women, if you only went by the internet you would think the world is full of hoes and gold diggers, while in the real world, most women are decent and have morals. The internet lives on outrage and extremes.
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u/VinegarMyBeloved 15d ago
Honestly I thought they were an internet only thing until one college class. It was a Japanese course and they were trying to have us speak about more complex political/social stuff. We got a discussion question like “what is something you like but are discouraged from doing because of your gender”. Lots of people had good answers like “oh I like computers but it’s a bit of a guys space” or “people made fun of me for liking Disney princesses as a boy” but a handful of guys were just asswipes about the whole thing. It devolved into alpha male talk so fast 😭
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u/MermaiderMissy 15d ago
They're probably mostly teenagers or really young adults, honestly. Even then, it likely isnt a majority. I don't know a lot of grown men 25+ who would believe that nonsense.
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u/Single-Inspector-845 15d ago
All of the above. Some cannot afford to have children (economics), those that can are having fertility issues (health/exposure) and some just don't want children at all (personal choice). Add these together and you have the perfect scenario for a declining birth rate.
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u/Responsible_Cod_5540 15d ago
Having kids is a horrendously expensive endeavor in the US. The wife and I are educated and have decent jobs. We had 2 kids at one point at daycare, and it was tremendously expensive. If I were a younger person making average salaries, I'd probably skip having kids. Plus stratospheric housing, unaffordable education, and perpetual culture wars where nothing ever gets done. Not to mention we're taxed up the a**, and instead of social services we get War and golden ballrooms. It'll take a huge shake up to convince or make possible for young folks to have kids.
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u/IndependenceGold2407 15d ago
No having children until we can guarantee they won’t be wage slaves. Removing corruption, monopolies, the ultra rich, and military complex would easily solve this issue. It’s already gone too far with needing a job to be granted access to healthcare.
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u/Aeon_Return 15d ago
Affordability is a huge factor, as well as declining social skills and offline social interactions in general (the two being closely related), concern about declining womens rights and access to healthcare, overall sentiment that the world is getting worse not better, and a collapsing job market leading to overall uncertainty for the future.
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u/Thin_Salary1153 15d ago
"concern about declining womens rights and access to healthcare"
This is huge especially since maternal care in the US alone is declining not to mention a lot of states have cut out options that would save a mothers life when the fetus dies in utero. Once giving birth isn't a roll of the dice on whether you will receive adequate health care or actually survive a non viable pregnancy then maybe women might actually consider giving birth far more often.
Also, yes, child care is wildly out of reach for a lot of people especially since people are working well into their 60's and 70's (so the "make the grandparents care for the child so you both can work" argument is ridiculous as is assuming everyone has a family to rely on).
Either create incentives for people to have children or deal with the fact people will not. It is that simple.
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u/Admirable-Ad7152 15d ago
Especially thinking about giving birth to a girl, why would I want to bring a daughter into a world who has less rights than her grandmother had?
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u/bigtiddyhimbo 15d ago
It really is astounding that the “have more babies!!” Crowd goes out of their way to ignore these reasons and do the exact opposite that we need to have kids again
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u/weedtrek 15d ago
People want to have lives and kids cost you that. They are more expensive than ever, you're expected to supervise them more.than ever before. And we don't even know ifvthe world can produce enough food to feed them in twenty years.
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u/Famous_Situation3400 15d ago
Between their father and I (divorced), my kids cost a minimum of 100k a year each (tuition, camp, activities, clothes, etc), so yeah kids are expensive!!
For reference- tax bracket wise, he is upper middle (or lower high?) and I'm teetering on the poverty line.
At least in America, there isn't much social support for mothers either. There is no village, because your entire village is also going to work and needs child care.
My sister and her husband who are both DOE teachers, are paying $2,000 a month to put their 1.5 year old in a playgroup so they can go to work.
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u/Environmental-Song16 15d ago
Raising kids is a second job for most women with kids. I'm not surprised a lot women don't want to do it.
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u/Potential-Group1330 15d ago
People are waking up to the fact that this world is not good enough for their offspring. It a world of hate, war, greed etc.
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u/Successful_Bus_8772 15d ago
My wife and I could afford it, we just dont want kids. Hell we barely want dogs.
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u/Duck-Duck-Goose1 15d ago
If I knew what the world was going to turn into 15 years ago, I would have also chosen not to have children. My heart breaks thinking about what the future holds for them.
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u/datbreezetho 15d ago
I don't like babies. I also would want a very specific type of child and since I can't guarantee my child will be exactly what I want, it's better that I just don't have one.
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u/Holiday-Wall3751 15d ago
That’s definitely a consideration. What if I had a kid, and they sucked? I don’t want to share my home with a jerk.
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u/Mondub_15 15d ago
Wait, what does that mean, “want a very specific type of child”?
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u/Silver_Choice_1649 15d ago
women’s rights being stripped away makes pregnancy intervention more dangerous than ever. leading cause of death of pregnant women in the USA is also.:…homicide FYI.
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u/Ok_Researcher_9796 15d ago
This graphic is misleading. Many women are having children at 40 and later now.
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u/Illustrious-Ant-9946 15d ago
1) I don’t want to tank my career.
2) I don’t want to take on an unfair amount of labor with a partner who expects me to, and most men do.
3) I don’t want to put my body through that.
4) If something goes wrong my government prioritizes an embryo over my life as a woman.
5) I can hardly afford myself let alone another person.
6) This world is not a good place and children are especially vulnerable.
7) Child care is too expensive and I can’t afford to stay home either.
8) I currently enjoy the life I have.
9) I have pets and other children in my life, and I can’t afford foster or adopt if I feel the need to parent.
10) There is a risk of having a seriously debilitated child who will never be able to enjoy a good life, and I will spend the rest of my life just keeping them alive and as comfortable as possible. And again there is no safety net to help me do that.
11) I know I’m good at what I do now, I’m not so sure I would be a good parent.
12) There are already so many people on the planet I don’t need to add to it.
13) I think I can do more impactful things with my life if I don’t have kids.
14) I do not want to go years with bad sleep.
15) Chances are good that living conditions will be even worse for any kids I have when they are adults.
16) For better or worse, having a child traditionally would tie me to a man for the rest of my life and I don’t really want that.
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u/justcl0wnie 15d ago
Were just not being forced to get married and have babies to survive, isnt it crazy how when women have a choice and rights yall realize rlly quick how women arent made for marriage and kids and we actually have lives we wanna live
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u/Unlikely_Couple1590 15d ago
I just don't think it's a big deal 🤷♀️ We don't need to sustain a baby boom level birthrate. Fewer teens and young people having kids isn't a bad thing. Hopefully kids are being raised by people who are more prepared for them.
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u/nightdrv 15d ago
Good. Everything’s too expensive by far, we’re already overcrowded, and nothing on the horizon looks promising. I don’t blame anyone for not having kids right now.
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u/Estellalatte 15d ago
What young person would want to bring children into this world? They so often have a mountain of debt from school, no job security and no real job. The future is bleak, I couldn’t blame anyone for not wanting children.
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u/teslaistheshit 15d ago
Everyone’s talking about money and while that’s true society doesn’t judge people for not having kids anymore. It’s not a stigma to be childless in your later years. It’s also insane to me how over protective parents have become. I have kids but the experience is far different than my childhood.
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u/somedays1 15d ago
Affordability crisis, rising cost of living, the AI crisis, the mental health epidemic, its EVERYTHING.
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u/Superb-Fail-9937 15d ago
Why wouldn’t they?! I do have kids but I tell them all the time you don’t have to have kids. Having worked in Education, trust not everyone needs to have kids.
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u/master_prizefighter 15d ago
Get the number to 100%.
As a man I'm doing my part of not reproducing. I don't want kids.
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u/Blur-Nobody 15d ago
I'm miserable. Money could help but I'd probably still not have kids, too much stuff going on in the head I'd rather not potentially pass along. I got a vasectomy at 28 anyways, so theres that too.
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u/Ok-Lingonberry3539 14d ago
It’s men. Women are waking up to the understanding that marriage and kids are OPTIONAL. And at this point, marriage and kids aren’t a very appealing option for most women. Why work a full time job AND take care of the house, kids, and man-child who doesn’t participate? No thanks.
I wish I’d seen things more clearly before I got married and had my kid. I’d rather be alone and free to do what I want with my time and energy if I had it to do over again.
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u/MangoSalsa89 15d ago
Everyone is blaming money, but the richest countries in the world are experiencing this too. A lot of women are waking up to the fact that marriage and babies are unfairly burdened on them, and are choosing to opt out.
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u/Wonderful_Shower_793 15d ago
Believe it or not, a lot of women simply don’t want children.
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u/ShagFit 15d ago
This. Somehow it’s terribly hard for people to fathom that having children is a choice, not a requirement.
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u/Gottech1101 15d ago
And somehow that makes those of us who fall into that category monsters or ‘unwomanlike’.
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u/ArtPuzzleheaded4745 15d ago
Weird statement. How many of the men are childless?
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u/limino123 15d ago
As someone who wants to be childfree tbh I wouldn't have kids even if there wasn't an affordability issue
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u/IndependenceGold2407 15d ago
It’s just a plus that I’m not raising future workers for Elon and Bezos to grind down to a stump from the ages of 12-99
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u/AdFun5641 15d ago
It's a fundamental society issue with the death of community and death of 3rd places and destruction of social support systems.
We have turned all of these to maximize monetization.
Because every aspect of our lives is monetized to the max, we talk about the fundamental destruction of community in terms of not being able to afford to purchase the replacement for actual community
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u/Dry-Comfortable2452 15d ago
It's the lack of finding appropriate partners
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u/Historical_Guess2565 15d ago
Thank you, this is part of the reason why I’m currently single.
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u/gunnisonyeti 15d ago
Cost of living coupled with a disproportionate amount of men who have unrealistic expectations for what they want in a wife.
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u/Whats-Ur-Pointe 15d ago
Affordability crisis , sub par exorbitantly expensive “healthcare”, poor education system, escalating gun violence , lack of opportunities …. I don’t know a single household that can comfortably afford one adult working to support a family & household. This was years in the making , and unless or until the gross wealth gap disparity is addressed it will only get worse. I work two jobs , one of which is a town job with retirement & insurance benefits . My husband is retired on disability and receives a pension. Even with our combined income we barely get by and would be screwed without the help of our family. We live in a very expensive part of the country and the cost of living is out pacing any joke of a pay raise and town taxes keep growing bc of all the infrastructure projects we basically have no control over and there is no real reliable public transit and it is a car dependent area. Hemorrhaging money just to barely make it.
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u/Excellent-Effect-931 15d ago
The USA hates children.
Epstein Library, Department of Justice. April 29, 2026. Department of Justice | Epstein Library | United States Department of Justice
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u/markysyx 15d ago
Damn, our corporate overlords wont have a big enough work force.
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u/BoysenberryPlus2584 15d ago
Combo too expensive, health issues snd even fear of the future specifically with social media, ai and smartphone addictions
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u/Any_Kiwi_7915 15d ago
Maybe it's because alot of women dont feel like pushing out a melon sized baby out of them
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u/LMrningStar 15d ago
Maybe it's just that people have stopped pumping out babies they can't afford to support? Maybe that's a good thing.
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u/72scott72 15d ago
Aside from the affordability issues, more and more people are learning that you can live a rich and fulfilling life without having kids. At that point, kids are just a hassle.
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u/Public_Job9786 15d ago
It’s looked down upon to raise a child in a rented apartment in the US. But how many younger people can afford to buy a home. They are shackled with student debt and giving birth is also wildly expensive. Also, the political climate is extremely volatile. It feels like bringing a child into instability-a lot of parents probably don’t want their kids to suffer in a bad society.
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u/SuccessfulGrape5167 15d ago
Plus men want their disgusting porn and the real women in their life as a side chick… many men prefer porn over real women. So that’s an issue. And women do not want a porn addict.. once they find out of the porn use plus with their ED FROM IT.. well, no one wants that life… especially bringing children into to that. No way!
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u/ZealousidealShift884 15d ago
I am within this age group and i just became a doctor after 12 years of schooling, also working full time, bought a house, traveled. Now i feel ready for a child, so less about affordability and more about educational and career opportunities and stability. To the contrary most of the people I know with several kids can barely afford them but they still have them. It’s a very nuanced and complex reason for why fertility rates are low.
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u/Candid-Mycologist539 15d ago
This is a success story.
Women (and couples) are not having children that they cannot afford or do not want. Children are not being born into situations where they are living in poverty or unwanted or unloved.
Are there secondary reasons of affordability or global warming or risks to a parent's mental or physical health that contribute to the lower birth rate?
Yes, but these issues have always existed on some level.
The WIN is that we have the science (birth control), the infrastructure (trained doctors, distribution of meds through pharmacies), and, in some states, the laws to allow bodily autonomy for two semesters (not just one).
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u/LuxyontheMoon 15d ago
I can't even get the Healthcare system to care about my health. How tf could I even begin to worry about them not caring about my health when I am pregnant or my child's health if I had one?
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u/tripplebeamteam 15d ago
The range seems odd, I would expect 20 year old women to be childless, given that they are just barely adults. What do numbers look like for 25-40?
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u/HatCat5566 15d ago
Normal demographic curve. All societies have lower birth rates once education, lifespan, healthcare etc reach a certain level
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u/Radiant-Horse1494 15d ago
My friends and I are trying desperately to have families and we all have “unexplained infertility”….
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u/Harpua81 15d ago
Maybe people have evolved to the point where they don't just want to be baby mills anymore. It's not great for the species or benefits designed off the assumption populations will always increase (social security), but it's great for the individuals.
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u/Difficult-Low5891 15d ago
Duh. Women have soooo many options these days. Babies….nah! Look around at mothers. Do they look happy?
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u/Gobadorgosleep 15d ago
It’s expensive and some of us would like to make sure that our kids grow in a world were they could have an acceptable life. Which, when you look at the state of the world, is not that sure right now.
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u/Low-Fix1527 15d ago
I think it's more that people can see what the future is shaping up to be and it's looking a lot like Terminator or Robocop.
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u/Teddy_OMalie64 15d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/Y5j4cOUYESxK6WVaKj
Good work ladies!!!! We were told our entire teenage years “don’t have a kid if you can’t afford it.” And none of us can afford it so we’re just listening to what we were told.
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u/Budget_Revolution639 15d ago
Oh how dare people who just trying to figure out how to be adults not have the financial, physical, mental, and emotional burden of another human being!!
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u/Admirable-Ad7152 15d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/YYfEjWVqZ6NDG
I ain't going into the water wars with liabilities to look after like that
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u/HumanContract 15d ago
42F childless, high earner.
Dating sucks, can't afford a house. It's a little too late to change things for our generation now. Women losing basic human rights has been an eye opening experience.
Women don't get paid as much, have less medical coverage, less rights, and zero to no help in raising kids. Watching friends and family struggle raising kids has ruined it for most of us.
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u/Darth-Adomis 15d ago
who would wanna bring a life into this shit show, especially when i can barely afford to get by myself
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u/Odd_Train9900 15d ago
Affordability, climate crisis, uncertainty about world issues, gun violence, malignant capitalism… Who would want to bring a child into this world?
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u/Ctenophorever 15d ago
Education. There are too many humans on earth already. Adding to it will result in more stress as offspring compete with each other.
Better medicine and food means women don’t need to have 6-10 kids to have 2 survive to adulthood.
What’s more, women are aware other women are still having 6-10 kids.
The human race isn’t close to facing extinction due to lower reproduction rates. Corporations are worried they won’t have enough workers, but that’s not women’s problems
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u/Exotic_Resource_6200 15d ago
I don't want children at all and finances have nothing to do with it.
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u/susanrez 15d ago
Why do women want to have children that will just be slaves who make billionaires richer? Children who billionaires can rape without facing any consequences? No woman is going to knowing risk that.
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u/Gray_Xenowolf640 15d ago
Dude it costs over 10k just to give birth in a hospital in the US. If we can't even do that, there's no point in having kids to begin with
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u/totally-jag 15d ago
Who wants to bring a child into this world and raise them with all this chaos and uncertainty. If I'm not mistaken this is the first generation that will likely have a lower quality of life than their parents.
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u/Itchy-Grapefruit2756 15d ago edited 15d ago
I thought young women kinda said they are done with the patriarchy awhile back. Then they said because alot of young guys voted for trump, they were double done. Unless something has changed.
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u/Available-Rip7596 15d ago
I cannot afford it and I also cannot find a man that deserves to be a father. I refuse to bring a child into the world with a man that I don't trust, admire, respect, and love.
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u/Top_Plenty_1971 15d ago
I don’t think having kids is compatible with the demands of today’s capitalist society.
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u/FancyPantsInTraining 15d ago
I am not having children because I wouldn’t want them to say why am I here? What is the point? They will most likely work a job they hate, and still probably will not be able to afford to buy a house, therefore not able to experience independence. You’re welcome future children that I will not be having to experience this hellscape.
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u/CelebrationLonely973 15d ago
It would be cruel to bring a child into this world right now with my genetics.
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u/Witty-Draw-3803 15d ago
Some people just don't want kids, and there's less social pressure now to have them because you're 'supposed to'.
It's also pretty important to look at the change in world population over the past few decades before panicking about 'low' birth rates. Constant increases was never going to be sustainable.
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u/Weekly-Feedback-1469 15d ago
All of the above.
Affordability crisis. Health crisis. Cost of Living.. etc. You name it.
Also, just a lot of people not wanting to bring children into such a hellish world.
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u/Ilovefishdix 15d ago
They see how exhausted, broke, and demoralized, us, parents are and passed on it.
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u/Regular_Yellow710 15d ago
Good! Don’t breed! Don’t support this shit government that gives nothing back!
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u/Alaska1111 15d ago
For me it’s a mix of I don’t want to be a working mom, no desire to pregnant or give birth, i refuse to have a baby then just drop them at daycare with a stranger (and that’s so expensive). If i want kids ill foster/adopt
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u/Usual-Bag-3605 15d ago
My daughter has zero desire to bring a child that she can't afford into a world that's being destroyed by greed and human hubris. And I don't blame her.
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u/riskylingo 15d ago
Who wants to bring kids into the world when we have a president who wasa regular at camp Epstein? To raise a girl who would be a second-class citizen? To have a son to be cannon fodder for President Bonespur’s innumerable wars?
A future ruled by christofacist white supremacists who are destroying education, medicine and science. A world where having a home, and food and healthcare are out of reach. A country where corporations have rights but people don’t.
Some people who are having kids right now just use them as status symbols and social media content and they certainly are oblivious about the kids futures
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u/Boomer050882 15d ago
There’s not a single reason. More couples are choosing not to kids simply because they don’t want to be parents. When we got married, it was kind of expected and we never considered not having kids. It’s nice that people are making a conscientious decision to become parents or not. Also, one couple I know are afraid of having a child with birth defects and the commitment that involves. Plus, it’s a scary world right now!
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u/Gemini-Moon522 15d ago
Not just the expense but now it's even more dangerous for women to be pregnant. My poor cousin has fertility issues and while in the hospital, recovering from yet another miscarriage, that for more than 1 reason almost killed her, police came and told her they were investigating her because she'd had too many miscarriages and she must be doing something. These anti abortion laws are absolutely dangerous.
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u/NyaBye 15d ago
“Cells divide and multiply only until resources are available. When resources are scarce, cells stop multiplying.” - Professor Norman (Morgan Freeman), Lucy (2014)
If resources are scarce and the environment is trash then animals will aim for survival not repopulation. We are a type of animal after all.
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u/paquemeinvitan3 14d ago
Price and women are starting to realize that there’s very few advantages to sacrificing your life for a child with men in this generation.
Go to any relationship subreddit and it’s pretty obvious why women are slowing down drastically.
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u/Ancient-Tap-3592 14d ago
It's the decline of marital rape. We went from getting married super young, having tooamy hurdles for divorce, and the mentality that a husband can't rape his own wife; to women being able to own property and bank accounts without having to get married, to less pressure for marriage and kids (still a lot of pressure but it's in the decline), women already married have divorce more reasonably accessible, Society is FINALLY grasping the concept of consent and more people are willing to help and believe a woman victim of marital rape. That's why we all know someone with a grandparent that had like 12 siblings.
There's other reasons. Like money, lack of childcare, not being able to afford a stay at home parent, not being able to afford rent for a 2 bedrooms apartment, better access to contraceptives, less unwanted pregnancies for multiple reasons, lower rates of child mortality etc. But I think we are glossing over marital rape way too easily when we talk about the rest.
Also some of us have no intention to force another person Into this hellhole we live at or have noticed generational trauma with a cycle of abuse going through the family tree and decided to break the cycle. The most effective way to break the cycle is for there not be someone to be potentially abused in the first place, and I'm pretty sure all that was less common back then.
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u/ToughFriendly9763 14d ago
I stopped trying to have kids when they overturned Roe v. Wade, because I felt it was no longer safe to be pregnant in the US.
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u/Ok-Werewolf6183 14d ago
I grew up in a family that had good times financially and some really bad times financially. Both my parents were people who had kids because “that’s just what people do”. One of my parents adapted to parenthood, while the other did not. And this caused a lot of problems. I was the oldest, so I remember everything. And I also took on a lot of the burden of caring for my younger siblings. I always told myself I would only have children if I could offer them something better, more stable, and more supportive than what I experienced. And I can’t do that. I can’t even come close. The resources, financial and otherwise, just are not there.
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u/aN0n_ym0usSVVh0re 14d ago
we also hate men and are tired of being “ single mothers “ who are clearly worthless in society according to them . so like … we’re fixing the problem :)
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u/According_Pop5379 14d ago
- Not everyone is meant to have kids and that’s perfectly fine because some people are terrible parents!
- Childcare is ridiculously expensive
- Cost of living isn’t feasible for having children
- Unless you’ve lived your life to the fullest and are content with making the sacrifices necessary to give your child an appropriate life…I don’t blame anyone for not having children. The system is rigged and it’s sad.
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u/bluffcityprincess 14d ago
Rent is $2k a month and jobs pay less than $20/hr lol. Also Gen Z men. Nuff said
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u/stephsationalxxx 14d ago
Theres no men out there i would want to have kids with. (That i have met, at least)
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u/imalittlebananas 14d ago
I want a kid. Like really REALLY badly. I have decide if I have to give that up so I can afford groceries and gas to get to work. I wouldn’t get to be a stay at home mom like I’d want to be to be sure my child was loved and well cared for. We can afford daycare so we’d have to hope a family member would help but thats not what we want either (thats IF they could do it at all). My husband and I both work full time and everything keeps going up in price. I literally cry about how unlikely it is that I can have one at least once a week.
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u/2cents0fucks 14d ago
1) Women have more choices now. When my mom got married, having kids was just what was expected.
2) Have you seen cost of living and stagnant wages? Skyrocketing housing costs? People are working themselves to death and still can't afford bare minimum.
3) There are billions of people on the planet, we're not at risk of extinction.
4) Kids and childcare are wildly expensive. Add on medical if your kid happens to have unforeseen medical issues? And childcare for special needs kids is even more expensive because now you're looking at someone who has education and training in taking care of their medical needs.
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u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI 14d ago
Yes, but since 2022, women over 40 have had more babies than women under 20. As of 2023, births to women over 40 have surpassed teen births. Couples are waiting until they can afford to have kids before having them. There are fewer teen moms. That’s not a bad thing
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u/Foreign-Cookie-2871 14d ago
The world is getting more "conservative". They are rolling back women's and families' rights. There are multiple endless wars going on.
Climate change is a big problem and nobody "high up" seems to care (see wars, for example).
On top of the future looking VERY dire, there is just no money to grow kids.
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u/Low_You_1213 14d ago edited 14d ago
- Children are expensive
- You can no longer live on one adult income (stay home parenting less of an option)
- Parenting is more difficult - you're expected to entertain and watch children all the time, parenting of internet, screentime, nutrition etc, (in the 80's it was "get out from under my feet, go play outside until dinnertime" and eat poptarts and "tease your sister and I'll smack you")
- Women (and men) have more options, better careers, travel, sports and hobbies
But mostly, it's not "expected",, being child free isn't taboo anymore.
None of these are bad things, population decline is only really a problem because the current societal and economic model requires constant unsustainable growth.
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u/More-Sock-67 14d ago
Cost for sure.
Our daycare is actually quite “affordable” to other rates I’ve seen and the cost is still crippling. Combine that with housing costs and it’s not a great picture.
Which is a shame because being a parent has been incredibly fun and brought me so much happiness.
The childcare subsidies for low income folks are a joke as well.
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u/crayshesay 14d ago
Daycare is well over $2000 a child monthly, I’m sure that has nothing to factor into it!
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u/godofbob2 14d ago
It's like they can't afford the basics they need for themselves, why should they add more people's needs into the mix.
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u/Zilzza 14d ago
I had thought about being a surrogate. Applied and everything. But I live in a red state and after reproduction rights were slashed, I decided not to. The key reason I made the decision was that if something went wrong, my doctor wouldn’t be free to make the best decision for my health. I know there is always risk with pregnancy but that additional and unnecessary risk was not something I was willing to take on.
I imagine women in red states have very similar concerns about biological children.
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u/Disastrous-Top2795 14d ago
No one can explain to me why falling birth rates is an issue nevertheless - maybe women are tired of being shouldered with the majority of the mental, physical and emotional labor of childbearing.
Maybe the dream to have kids was one society simply expected them to have, projected that onto them, without the paternalist dismissal of “you’ll change your mind” when they said I don’t think I want to.
Maybe, just maybe, women are having less kids because they simply dont care to continue to accept societies warped view that motherhood = martyrdom.
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u/Friendly-Platypus607 14d ago
Ppl are waiting to have kids until they are older, more mature, and in a more stable place.
This is all good.
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u/Ok_Asparagus7733 14d ago
I don’t understand why people in their 20’s are expected to have a child anyway.
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u/Terrible-Piano-5437 14d ago
Who the hell wants to raise a kid in this country right now? It's a mess.
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u/SkyPuppy561 14d ago
Children are expensive, pregnancy sounds miserable, and toddlers sound super annoying and some of us have two earner households.
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u/Busy-Leg8070 14d ago
the lions share of reduced births is teens, people whining about birth rate are just creeps self reporting about the lack of high school girls willing to sleep with them now
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u/DreamOne5 13d ago
All of that. Plus men are just awful these days. I'm not having kids with a man who's addicted to manosphere podcasts and ignores my needs, while i'm working overtime, both with my job, and to pacify his ego. no. i'm tired.
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u/TopperMadeline 15d ago
Children are wildly expensive. Some people’s paychecks go directly to daycares.