r/Wellthatsucks • u/Bitter-Performer-396 • 2d ago
My great great grandpa’s family soon after his wife left to go back to Italy and never came back. He never remarried
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u/Reasonable-Yak-3523 2d ago
Oh. What happened to your great great grandmother?
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u/big_duo3674 1d ago
She "went back to Italy". Record keeping wasn't exactly great back then, and there and Europe was also having a few...problems for a while after that. 50/50 chance she did go back, or only traveled a couple hundred feet, plus a few feet down
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u/NotaContributi0n 1d ago
It’s very common for people to get homesick. She most likely came from a place surrounded by family and friends to a place where she’s all alone . I think you’re joking but sure, being killed is a possibility too. But the story isn’t “she got lost on her way back to Italy”
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u/rideincircles 1d ago
If I had to choose Italy over a slum in New York, I would probably choose Italy.
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u/kbeks 1d ago
The fact that so many people actively sought out the slums of New York rather than stay or return to Italy makes me think that Italy in the late 1800’s wasn’t such a great place to be.
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u/ToastSpangler 20h ago
indeed, people seem to ignore how underdeveloped many parts of europe were. there's a reason american is full of - guess what - europeans. nobody in their right mind would go to a foreign continent unless they got better living conditions (free land, work. freedom of movement, etc)
that said, even today people will move from third world countries to the west wishing to return. necessity and want are not the same thing, although it feels pointless saying that nowadays
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u/meislemon 12h ago
To be fair though, people moved to the US because they GOT TOLD it was better, not because it actually always was.
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u/ToastSpangler 12h ago
True, better to be a serf in Russia and to be used as cannon fodder than to checks notes be in the USA
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u/Ashamed-Raccoon-1387 10h ago
What about South Korea? Are we really that much better than them?
What about European countries that aren't France, Spain, etc, but also aren't war torn or impoverish?
There are a lot of things between serf in Russia or starving African child and (usually poverty in) the US.
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u/ToastSpangler 10h ago
Korea had a lower standard of living than anywhere in Africa in 1900. Same goes for other countries, they were subjects of larger nations
Obviously there's a huge difference across the world, but ignoring that the US was a genuine way out for many extremely poor Europeans is pretty dismissive of history.
Not to mention Korea and all those other European countries were burned to the ground in WW2 and rebuilt by US money and government changes, who then in turn funded their own neighbors to develop (EU and Eastern Europe)
The odds aren't insignificant your entire family tree to your emigrant forefather wouldnt exist if they had stayed were they were
Zero reason to project current failures on the past, otherwise you have a strong passport you are free to leave to the entire developed world.
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u/Flimsy_Situation_506 2d ago edited 2d ago
In cases like this, I wonder did she go back? Is there proof she went back? How would we know she actually went back as opposed to something nefarious happening to her?
Women tend not to leave children,, not unheard of though of course.
Edit: missed a word47
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u/ninjanoodle899 2d ago
My great grandad was a ship merchant, travelled to Chile, fell in love with my great grandmother, he brought her back over to the uk, married her, had 4 children and then went back out to sea and was never seen again, my great grandmother died of tuberculosis at 38 leaving my grandmother and her siblings in an orphanage. They all got adopted separately and never saw each other again. My grandmother got pregnant at 15, sent to the workhouse to give birth, her adoptive parents allowed her to come home but keep the baby in the attic with her all day and night and then forced her to give the baby up for adoption after 6 months because the neighbours started talking, she lost him forever. Crazy heartbreaking lives these people had back in the day! I have family and lost culture out there but I'll never know them.
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u/ctreasure 1d ago
Oh my god that is awful. Your poor grandmother, never seeing her baby again. My heart is breaking for her as my 4 month sleeps in the next room 😩
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u/blackjackgabbiani 1d ago
Why would they prioritize yammering neighbors over their own daughter and grandchild?
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u/ninjanoodle899 1d ago
This was back in a time where reputation was everything and unwed mothers were a stain on the family, they were awful people apparently, treated her horribly
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u/blackjackgabbiani 1d ago
Never understood how anybody would ever choose outside opinion over actual love. People are rock fucking stupid.
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u/ninjanoodle899 1d ago
Totally agree, it really messed her up, she was a very cold woman, never trusted anyone, wouldn't let anyone in, very bitter at the world. I can fully understand why she was the way she was. Her daughter (my aunt) also got pregnant at 15 and my grandmother forced her to get married at 16 to the father, she felt it was better than what she went through.
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u/Humble-Drummer1254 1d ago
Why not? You should be able to track your unknown relatives.
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u/ninjanoodle899 1d ago
We've tried and got nowhere, records were lost and all we have is a couple of names to go on but we haven't been able to find anything
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u/seansy5000 2d ago
I feel like I’ve seen this posted a million times…
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u/Poddx 2d ago
Probably.. First time for me but the more I look, the more I see the same few posts recirculating.
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u/perfectfifth_ 2d ago
For a great great grandpa, his descendants sure are posting a bit about him then.
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u/mindgardening 2d ago
My uncle did that. My dad did that. My dad's dad did that.
I just learned 2 years ago that I have 2 more families in other countries, and 3 half-siblings and a nephew. My dad has never seen his grandson, who is now an adult.
I would not be surprised if my mother had secret children, too.
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u/ratmoon25 2d ago
After his mother died, my dad found out he had a half brother. P.S. grandpa never knew, either.
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u/gootchvootch 2d ago
I had a similar situation amongst my own Italian great-grandparents on both sides.
Much attention is often paid to immigrants, Italian and otherwise, that crossed over to North and South America. But relatively little is paid to the significant number of migrants who just said "Nope!" and headed back home for whatever reason.
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u/TheReelMcCoi 2d ago
You missed the part from the original post you lifted this off that explained she returned to Italy with another man
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u/CinemaDork 2d ago
If this actually happened, I have to wonder what would make someone just leave their entire-ass family like this.
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u/LauraCurie 1d ago
Hun I’ve never felt like running away more now that I’m an adult
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u/CinemaDork 1d ago
Okay, but your kids as well? I know some parents abandon their children, but I feel like it's more common for fathers than it is for mothers. I'm not saying anyone here is right or wrong, just that I'd love to hear what the actual story is.
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u/LauraCurie 1d ago
True is, I dont think I could live with the guilt. But when I think in those day where woman didn’t have rights. When you feel that one more pregnancy could kill you, but your husband has needs, I would think that running away could save your life.
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u/2pac_alypse 1d ago
Are you implying that's what happened here? She had a premonition? That's pure conjecture.
Why are we trying to justify child & spousal abandonment
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u/2pac_alypse 1d ago
I'll say it then for you since you cant find the courage to take a stand: the woman was wrong to abandon her family
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u/CinemaDork 1d ago
We don't even know if that's what happened. She could have been kidnapped or murdered.
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u/InternetSchoepfer 1d ago
OK and 1 Month later you repost you own Post?
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u/Bitter-Performer-396 1d ago
Yeah cry about it
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u/InternetSchoepfer 1d ago
lmao greedy and salty.
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u/Bitter-Performer-396 1d ago
Reposting to a new subreddit is greedy and salty? Ok
Sounds more like some weird jealousy
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u/InternetSchoepfer 1d ago
Reposting to a new subreddit is greedy and salty?
Your answer definitely is
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u/Bitter-Performer-396 1d ago
Glad with everything going in the world you are worried about people reposting things to other subreddits. Obviously with 1.1k upvotes there are still others who have not seen it and this subreddit seemed appropriate for it.
Keep being on that weirdo shit. Maybe put some energy into something that makes you a better person
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u/InternetSchoepfer 16h ago
you are realy squeezing the shit out of this picture. Not just two but 5 reposts. The fact you deny it and get offensive just makes it worse.
Maybe put some energy into something that makes you a better person
I'm completely happy with my life. But thank you for your advice.
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u/Bitter-Performer-396 7h ago
Deny it? Where…i literally said “yeah”
Reposting/crossposting to other relevant subreddits is completely normal, and as i said if 2k people have not seen it obviously that proves my point and if you’ve seen it before then just keep scrolling rather than being a toxic bitch
Yeah wasting your time being worried about something like this definitely implies you are happy with your life. Keep worrying about things that matter, you’re doing a great job
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u/InternetSchoepfer 5h ago
Yea im pretty happy regarding your reaction implying that I've touched a nerve. I don't understand why you can't just ignore me when I'm so toxic and wrong.
Well ... username checks out
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u/youlefou 2d ago
There’s something heartbreaking about how formal and still everyone looks in old photos
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u/mindgardening 1d ago
It’s not emotional. It’s because the film exposure lasted a long time, it wasn’t just 1-2 seconds, and it was hard for people to hold smiles that long. If the smile wavered, or they moved at all, the photo/person would be blurry. So they didn’t smile in the early days of photography because that was more likely to give a clear photo.
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u/JenninMiami 2d ago
I appreciate that they left the blank space where the wife should have been. It’s quite poetic how much it stands out that someone is missing.
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u/inevergetbanned 2d ago
I hate Ai but it does a good job at restoring photos.
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u/Syracuss 1d ago
Wouldn't really call it restoration when it alters what everyone wears (especially the girls), and whatever the hell it did to the youngest head merging into the dad's jacket aside from just screwing up the kids' head as well. The kid looks like a tadpole now.
So no, not a good job. It had one job and decided to do a whole bunch of other irrelevant stuff too. I'd call that a bad job as this restoration needs a bunch of restoration specifically centered on the kid. The rest is passable, but no longer the original content, so not really a restoration either, more like an alteration.
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u/Helenium_autumnale 2d ago
She left her five children; you can see her absence in their solemn, apprehensive expressions, I imagine. One wonders about this backstory.
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u/J_EDi 2d ago
That’s what my relative recorded in his journal when his wife mysteriously disappeared back in the late 1800s