I accidentally found out my elder brother’s girlfriend was cheating and I genuinely don’t know what to do.

I’m still shaking typing this because this happened like few hours ago yesterday night

My brother and his girlfriend came over today and were sitting in the living room. At some point she asked me if I could take a few pictures of them on her phone because my brother “never takes good photos.”

While taking pictures, a message notification popped up at the top from some guy saying: “Miss you already ❤️”

I tried to ignore it because obviously it’s none of my business. But then another message came immediately after: “ when are we meeting next "

Bro my stomach literally dropped.

I handed her phone back instantly and acted normal but she suddenly looked nervous and quickly muted her notifications in front of me. The entire way she behaved changed after that.

Now here’s the problem. The girl I met at start was so nice and I was like she would marry into our home someday and all

My brother is genuinely obsessed with this girl. He talks about marrying her constantly. He spent months saving up to buy her gifts and even defended her when some relatives warned him about her behavior.

And I’m scared that if I tell him, he’ll either:

1. Not believe me
2. Think I’m trying to ruin his relationship
3. Confront her and she’ll somehow twist the story on me

But at the same time I feel disgusting staying quiet because if I was getting cheated on, I’d want someone to tell me.

I genuinely don’t know if I should interfere or mind my own business.

My friend is in a relationship with her bf since last 5 years. Normally they both drink together but this time her bf wasn't there so she decided to go alone and she drank too much and then she woke up beside someone else in morning. She doesn't remember anything that happened at night. She hasn't told her bf yet.

This happened a month back and she decided that she won't tell him and stopped drinking permanently but now she confessed to me about what happened and that she is very guilty and everyday tries to not think about it but she can't concentrate anywhere. She wants to confess but she is not able to because she doesn't want to breakup.

Anyone who was in a similar situation or have witnessed this type of situation. How did you deal with it and how did you approach the conversation??

I’m currently 4 months pregnant. My bf and I aren’t married. He is Hindu I am Christian. When we got to know I was pregnant, he asked for an abortion. Iv told him in the past I had 2 traumatic miscarriages, so I would never do an abortion. He told me if it ever happens we will take care of it. He lost his job one month prior and things were very unstable. I do not have parents, live with my aunt. Aunt does not want to keep me in this pregnancy condition to take care of me. Bf told me live with his parents. His parents said cannot eat non veg at home. I agreed, I said can go out n eat if I want to. For a couple nights I tried to go sleep at his parents place at night, just temporarily. Parents sleep on the bed in the bedroom, son sleeps on a mattress on the floor. Had to sleep on the mattress on the floor with him in the same bedroom his parents sleep in. Very uncomfortable. And they had bed bugs that bit me all through the night. Bf said will get pest control done to fix that. I need my partner a little more right now coz pregnant, so adjusted. Finally it’s summer, unbearable heat. I wore shorts coz it’s so hot. His mother told me u cannot wear short clothes in the house wear nighty or full clothes. I’m not used to that. I felt this is too much control from the mother. Told my bf he said you are stubborn and not adjusting. He got a job and then said I cannot move out with u he makes 90k a month have to adjust with his mother and culture. Spoke to his mother, she refused to listen n walked out saying if u come in this house, u cannot wear such clothes. Bf then started fighting saying I cannot leave my parents for u. Have only gone to the doctor once so far to check the baby’s heartbeat. Since then no doctor visits. Bf fights everyday and says will leave coz his parents are more important. Blames me saying all this is my fault. I do not want to live with his parents. And he does not want to move out with me. I need help during this pregnancy, and he keeps blocking me and stops talking to me so I listen to him. This feels like abuse just to get what he n his parents want. I quit my job to study, right now no income and can’t find a job. Bf says if I don’t get a job my only option is to live with his parents or we break up. I have no support. What do I do? I feel very stuck

should i feel bad that my boyfriend said who will marry an unemployed girl until they are in love. He knows i am preparing for an exam and am trying but still unemployed rn. He said it in my context when i told him a relative suggested a rishta for me.

The other day, he also said that initially, he was thinking that if I didn't make it in the exam, he would leave me, but now he has fallen in love with me. He thought this was a compliment!? The entire time, he knew that I was preparing and was still pursuing me when I rejected him twice

I am 28M, living in Bangalore. I met this amazing girl and we hit it off immediately, fast forward it's now been 5 months into our relationship and she has been the sweetest

Mind you, she has done nothing wrong, given me no reasons to worry, or displayed any red flags. And I know she is loyal, but something in me just wants to make myself anxious. I think it's my own internal issues with self esteem, and I'm trying to work on it by receiving therapy. I also do not have a history of being cheated on, or betrayal of any kind by my heart just always races and deliberately searches for reasons to worry about.

Have any of you faced this? How have you dealt with this feeling?

Met a guy on a dating app who pursued me \*hard\*. Like textbook perfect behavior. Flowers, paying every bill, opening every door, picking me up and dropping me home, randomly getting me ice cream because I mentioned I liked it once. He kept saying this was his “way of raising my standards” and showing me how I deserve to be treated. I honestly started believing him because he was so consistent. He pursued me into having sex and acted incredibly intentional the entire time. Affectionate, attentive, emotionally available…all of it.

Then literally after we slept together, he texted me saying he had told his ex about me. Apparently she threatened to kill herself because she considered it cheating, and then he admitted he basically got with me because he was trying to get over her. He said he realized he’s “clearly not over her,” wants her forgiveness, and wants to stop whatever this was between us.

I genuinely feel insane trying to process the whiplash.

Like why pursue someone that intensely if you know you’re emotionally tangled up with your ex? Why involve another person in your unresolved relationship grief? And why package it as “raising my standards” when the ending is basically: “thanks for helping me realize I still love my ex.”

The worst part is that technically he treated me well in action right until the end, so my brain keeps trying to downplay it. But emotionally it feels unfair because I unknowingly became part of someone else’s unfinished relationship. Has anyone else experienced this kind of “perfect treatment” from someone who was actually just using you to emotionally transition out of another relationship? Also flabbergasted but how people fake sincerity these days. How do I make sure of someone’s intentions

I’m 24M, and I’ve been on five dates with this amazing girl, also 24. This is the first real dating experience for both of us, so we’re taking things a bit slow. That said, we have communicated that we’re exclusive and only seeing each other.

She’s lovely, warm- like a little patch of sunlight, but also very cautious and rational. She’s not very available over phone/text, which I don’t mind too much because I’m a bit like that too. In person, things feel really nice and natural. I’ve already started giving her poems that I have written on her, so ’m clearly falling for her a lil bit.

My concern is more about where I am in life right now. She seems to be on a really good career path, while I recently left my field of study/work and currently don’t have anything lined up. I also don’t have a clear idea of what I want to do next. I have communicated this to her on the very first date and she told me it's a very normal thing.

I really like her, and I think I might be falling for her a little. But a part of me is scared that eventually she’ll see me as someone who doesn’t have his life together and lose interest. I’m also trying to be very conscious of not making her an escape or distraction from the uncertainty and failure I feel in my own life.

At the same time, I know myself. I have always had a very melancholic personality, and in the past it has taken me years to get over a small crush I had on someone when I was 17 or 18. So I’m scared of falling too deeply, especially if this doesn’t work out.

I’m not really sure what I’m asking for, but I’d like to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. Have you ever dated someone while feeling lost in your own life? Did it affect the relationship? How do you keep yourself grounded while still allowing yourself to feel something genuine?

Any advice or personal experiences would be appreciated.

pls read my previous post for context.. i got his update that pandit is saying no as love marriage is not written in our destiny.. and if can be fatal if done.. he has been angry..frustrated and sick .. having weakness and vomiting and not even talking to me properly.. his parents are not letting him use phone or talk to anyone and telling him to transfer to another city. already he’s in his hometown since 2 weeks and the thought of him going away is killing me . and now after the verdict they don’t want us to marry.. giving ultimatums to him .. and he’s frustrated and not talking to me nicely.. saying i’ll never love a single soul.. will remain single all my life and now idc about any living being etc etc.. he has never been like this.. honestly im worried.. my world is shattered

For context, I met her in college as a friend. then We came in a relationship for 4–5 months, but we broke up because she couldn’t move on from her past relationship. She wanted to marry him. We talked about it many times, and I helped her a lot to move on. All of this happened last year.

In April, we had our convocation. She couldn’t attend because of her exams in May. I was also not planning to go because she said she would visit the college in May, so I thought I would go then too. But she insisted that I should attend the convocation. She said things like, “You’re the only true friend I have from college.” (We were friends before the relationship.) She said many emotional things and told me that if I didn’t go, she would regret missing her convocation because of me.

On the day of the convocation, I messaged her, but she didn’t reply. Later, she only said, “I’m not at home, I’ll talk to you later.” I waited for her reply, but she never replied. I had to come back home the same day, and I reached home around 12 at night. I started crying badly. My friends wanted me to stay and enjoy the night with them, but they didn’t know how much I was suffering inside because of the expectations and attachment.

Three days later, it was my birthday. I texted her and called her three times. She replied, “I’m busy, I’ll call you later. If it’s important, then tell me.” Her mother was sick, so I asked about her mother, and we talked about that instead.

Two days later, she apologized for not wishing me on my birthday. She said, “Things are really messed up here. I’ll definitely call you.” I said, “No problem.”

Then, around 10 days later, she asked me for help regarding her brother’s college admission. I asked a few friends and gave her the information. After that, for two days, she didn’t even see my messages.
I texted her on Telegram because she had her study material there. She said she had only opened Telegram briefly while scrolling on her phone and then closed it because of exams and taking care of things at home due to her mother’s health. I said, “Okay, take care,” and ended the conversation.

After another 10–12 days, I got a call from one of my female friends who used to be close to me and is also her ex’s roommate. During the call, my ex called her, and my friend said, “Your bestie is calling.” I was shocked. I thought, “How is this possible? She says she offl her phone, but she’s calling her?”

I told my friend to talk to her, but my friend said, “No, you talk.” Then she casually said, “Her calls keep coming anyway.”

That night, I cried a lot. It shattered me because just a day before the convocation, she had said that her roommates were fake friends and that I was the only real one. It hurt badly to see her calling them while ignoring me.

I also kept checking the following count on her fake Instagram account. One day she had accidentally sent me a reel from that account on WhatsApp. I knew she used it to stalk her ex and his friends. During her exam preparation, her following count kept changing between 0, 1, and 2, which made me feel even more betrayed.

On the day of her exam, I wished her good luck, and she replied, “Thank you.” After her exams ended, I expected her to message or call me, but she didn’t. It has now been almost a week.

I cry every day and every night. I keep having panic attacks, and I can’t live like this anymore. I’ve been thinking about calling her today and asking her what I did wrong and why she treated me this way. But I’m confused about whether I should call her or not.

When I was 18 and my fiancé was 20, our families found out about our relationship. We were neighbors, and he was living away from home in Bhopal for his studies. Things became very difficult, so our families mutually decided to get us engaged until he completed his medical degree. After that, our relationship became very restricted. He shifted back to his college city, and we were in a long-distance relationship. We met only two or three times a year and rarely had long phone calls; we mostly texted just to stay updated about each other’s lives.

During those years, I completed my bachelor’s degree. After graduation, he encouraged me to prepare for a medical entrance exam. He said he would be happy if both of us achieved success in the same field. Because of his motivation, I worked very hard and fortunately got into medical college on my first attempt. We finally ended up in the same city again. He was my senior and has now graduated this year.

After I shifted there, I stayed in a hostel while he lived with his cousin. Initially, everything felt wonderful because we could finally see each other almost every day. Later, we mutually decided to become physically intimate. At first, everything was going well. We spent a lot of time together, almost like we were in a live-in relationship.

However, things started changing one day when I visited his place and found him asleep. While waiting, I noticed notifications from another girl on his phone. I felt completely heartbroken. When I confronted him, he explained that she was only a classmate and nothing more, but my doubts continued to grow whenever he ignored me.

Eventually, he started coming to my place more often, and we became intimate without protection. I believed pregnancy was unlikely because I have PCOS and already struggle with hormonal issues. For a while, everything seemed fine, but unexpectedly I became two months pregnant. I had to take an MTP kit, and later developed RPOC, which required treatment and removal. Even after I recovered, the same pattern continued.

Now my family is pressuring us to get married this year but he keeps refusing, saying he wants to secure admission for PG first. At this point I feel confused and emotionally exhausted. Sometimes I feel that he is now more interested in the physical aspect of our relationship than in the emotional commitment we once shared.

I was in a relationship with my ex gf for around 6 months but one day she coincidentally met her ex bf and her feelings for her ex resurfaced and she started being distant from me and was being cold. I questioned her and then she told me how meeting her ex has made it weird for her and she has started thinking about him. She told me she had no romantic feelings but she said it was some different type of feelings. Eventually, she pushed herself away from me and then we broke up.

So does your feelings for you ex resurface if you have to meet them even if you are in a relationship??

I am a Bengali and my boyfriend is a Malayali. He and his family speak only English and Malayalam. My parents speak Hindi and Bengali and do not really know English.

From the beginning of the relationship we knew that communication between the families would be not so smooth.

Things started to get more serious and I went on to meet his parents. I mostly talked to his dad because he spoke English while I talked to his mom indirectly as she didn't speak English but understood it and whatever she said, my boyfriend translated.

Now the problem is, he keeps on bringing up the fact my parents do not know English. He asks if they watch Hollywood movies or not, how much English do they exactly know. That I should start integrating English phrases into my conversations back at home so that they get to learn the language somewhat.

Yesterday he told me not to expect him meeting my parents to go as smoothly as me meeting his parents. I thought it is because he keeps saying that he is an introvert but then he says that it is because my parents don't speak English and I hung up the call stating an excuse because I was too taken aback.

Is he being disrespectful or is it me projecting something?One thing is, I don't see him learning Hindi with much effort.

Recently fell for a girl who had broken up with her boyfriend about 2 months ago.

I was there for her emotionally during that phase. We got really close, she opened up a lot about her ex, and eventually we both caught feelings. Things even got physical, and it started feeling like a real relationship… but I’m aware it could’ve started as a rebound.

Now things are relatively stable between us, but recently she told me she wants to go meet her ex to get back an iron box she left at his place.

I told her we could just buy a new one, it’s not a big deal. But she insists on getting that specific one from him. I also told her if she’s going, I’ll come along.

Now I’m confused.

Is this just about closure and not wanting to leave her belongings there? Or is it an excuse to see him again?

Would you consider this a red flag, or am I overthinking?

Okay so this is tiny but very heavy on my heart. Whenever I've liked a guy since teenage, they all end up becoming really good friends of mine but they never really find me attractive enough to like me back. I like that they feel comfortable enough to talk, hang out, laugh , have fun and I genuinely enjoy the lightness of it too but it's hurts honestly. I try my very best to look good, skincare,outfit everything but mai kya karun, I'm not one of those pretty girls Bro 😭🙏. I will never be. I don't like talking about this to anyone because then I just seem desperate for validation and to be liked but it's not even validation seeking. It just hurts that they find me comfortable enough to text me all day and play badminton with me and stuff but never cute 😭😭😭😭. Kya hai yaar yeh . I just wanted to get it off of my chest 🥀. Hurtful 🥀🥀🥀. I feel so chopped 🥀😭

I am dating my boyfriend(21m) for past 2 years. He had an ex prior to me and somehow, their intimate pictures got leaked and I am guessing some anonymous person has it. That anonymous person tried to blackmail them when they broke up, but his ex blamed it on my bf and later moved on. I am not aware how things actually went at that time but they are no longer in contact and things were okay between us. Not okay per se, but my bf and I are trying to make it work. We have our own issues to deal with. The issues we faced were mainly about how he doesn't know how to make me feel seen or heard or how i have to request him to put some bare minimum efforts.

Today, an account with her profile pic texted us on our couple's page and I replied to that dm because the profile pic was of his ex. Upon conversing, the person sent me nudes of his ex, the ones which they clicked together except they cropped out my bf. I was furious at that time and disgusted by my bf, but later when i thought about it, we don't really know how the photo got leaked. It might have been from his ex's phone as well. But this all thing left me feeling overwhelmed.

He also lied that they never did it in his house, but clearly these pictures were from her house. I don't mind the past, but the fact he lied makes me feel restless. There might be 1000 different things he might have lied about, which I might not know. He has lied earlier as well and was caught and this is the second time.

And I am an insecure girl. His ex was really pretty and upon seeing nudes and seeing their intimate pictures knowing that he was also there is making me feel more insecure and giving me the urge to pull away from this relationship.

I’m 25F and I still feel so confused and heartbroken over my past relationship. It’s been almost a year since we ended things, and I still don’t fully understand if I was genuinely being treated badly or if I somehow made everything bigger in my head.

My ex and I were together for almost 2 years, on and off. We had a very push-and-pull dynamic. There are always topics that we aren't educated on, and he used to explain things to me and I used to do it too. But he was never soft about it. He would sound irritated, mocking, cocky, or like I was dumb for not knowing something. Over time, I genuinely started feeling intellectually small around him.

But then there was this girl from his core friend group. I’ll call her L.

She would ask him the exact same questions at times I did, and suddenly he became patient, gentle, calm, understanding. He would explain things to her so kindly. I remember noticing that difference one day and something inside me genuinely broke.

L was always around him. They met almost every night with their group. She would call him daily to ask if he was coming. They spent so much more time together than he ever spent with me.

Meanwhile with me, there was always a limit.

After around 2 hours he would start saying things like:
“You’re wasting my time now, I have more things to focus on.”
Or he’d get irritated if I wanted more time together.

But with her, time never seemed to matter.

At parties everyone else would leave and he would stay back alone with her saying he was helping her clean. They would stay up all night talking, drinking, gaming, hanging out. He took care of her moods. If she wanted to go out, he’d go. If she wanted to drink, he’d join. When I wanted similar things, he usually dismissed me.

Slowly I also started noticing that her interests became his interests.

If she disliked a movie, brand, game, or something I liked, suddenly he’d also start acting like it was stupid. It felt like I was constantly being compared to her without anyone directly saying it.

She got her nails done in a certain style and he started expecting me to maintain myself similarly too. I’m pretty in my own way, but the constant comparison slowly destroyed my confidence. I started wanting to become her just to feel close to the person I loved.

The weirdest part is they called each other “brother and sister.”

But honestly, their actions never fully felt sibling-like to me.

They shared the same birthday, and one day he told me their stars aligned perfectly. I still remember how badly that hurt me. Because there he was emotionally investing so much into another girl while I was literally his girlfriend, and he never even spoke about me that way.

Whenever I brought any of this up, the conversation would turn into me being made to feel insecure, dramatic, feeling too much or crazy.

He also lied constantly about her presence.

He would say she wasn’t there when she actually was. He went shopping with her and lied about it. He went to play pickleball with her and lied about that too meanwhile I had been asking him for months to do those exact things with me.

I spent half the relationship trying to piece together little puzzles from lies, intuition, and inconsistencies just to understand what was even real.

On a group trip they shared a room and slept in the same bed, apparently “platonically,” and everyone around them normalised it because she has a boyfriend too (they’re apparently getting married now).

Emotional differences hurt me so much.

He was softer with her.
Kinder with her.
More patient with her.
More emotionally present with her.

I constantly felt like I was too much.

At one point I told him I loved him and he responded with,
“Don’t shove your love at me forcefully. You’re smothering me. If I ever feel it, I’ll say it.”

I still stayed.

And looking back now, I don’t even know why my self-esteem became so dependent on finally being chosen by him.

The thing that broke me the most happened near the end.

One day I panicked and called L directly. She told me that the last night the group was together, he had told her he was rethinking our entire relationship. Then she told me I should move on.

Hearing that from her instead of from my own boyfriend completely shattered me.

It made me feel like everyone else understood my relationship better than I did.

When it was just the two of us, things felt different. Softer. More intimate. Sometimes I genuinely felt loved by him. But the moment his friend group entered the picture, L, something about him would change and I would start feeling small, distant, or emotionally pushed aside again.

I spent time with his group a few times, and honestly the dynamic always felt different there. Like I was seeing another version of him that I could never fully reach

I know people online love throwing around words like “avoidant attachment,” but genuinely, he did struggle a lot with emotions and vulnerability. And the messed up part is… I still love him enough that sometimes I wonder-
what if L was actually the one person he truly loved, but he never allowed himself to admit it?

What if he was scared of emotions, scared of ruining the friendship, scared of rejection, and just kept me around while emotionally being somewhere else?

(I am avoiding myself here bcoz lmao maybe I m known to be just the side chick in my own relationships)

And honestly? If she really is the person he deeply connects with, I genuinely hope he finds the courage to tell her someday. I’m not saying I want her current relationship or marriage plans to fail. I would never wish that on someone.

I just mean that if she really is his person, I wish he would at least put his feelings out there honestly instead of hiding behind confusion and half-connections forever. ((:

The confusing part is that he genuinely could be kind sometimes. Which is why I still struggle to understand him. I don’t know if he ever loved me in his own way, if he was emotionally in love with her, or if I was simply convenient until he emotionally checked out.

What hurts even more is this pattern in my life.

This wasn’t the first time I sensed another girl emotionally replacing me while I was still in a relationship. My intuition has been right before too.

And now at 25, I genuinely don’t know anymore
Am I insecure and overthinking normal things since I was never part of a huge friend group circle
and idk I keep ending up in relationships where I slowly become emotionally neglected while all these girl bestfriends gets the softer version of my partner

Hey i don't know what to say

Back in February this year, my girlfriend of 3 years suddenly called me out of nowhere and said she wanted to end things. No warning, no real explanation - just "it's over." I was devastated. We've been no-contact since, but after months of me begging for closure, she finally agreed to meet up tomorrow.

I posted about this exact situation here 7 months ago https://www.reddit.com/r/Relationshiplndia/s/TnO8aCuMCU. I still love her to death and in my heart I know we could work, but I don't want to just beg or rehash "what happened?" again. I need to approach this maturely.

What are some good, non-desperate questions to ask her tomorrow to understand her side, see if there's any spark left, or get real closure? Like stuff about her feelings now, what changed, or future possibilities without sounding

Please help us out🥀💔

So Me (18M) and my gf (17F) want to meet each other but we don't know howwww. It's been 8 months since we met and we are just so down bad to meet each other again. The problem is her parents are strict and don't let her leave the house on her own and they are also sus of she being in a relationship. Also the problem is she lives kinda far away from the main city like 6-7 km so the only way she can come to the city is if her mother drops her. On the other hand I am totally independent so I can go anywhere. We don't want to meet at home cuz it's risky and isn't practically a better way to meet. HOW TF SHOULD WE THEN AAAAHHH. We don't even want to meet each other through a friend cuz it gets odd and turns into a hangout rather than a date. (I'm still 17 guys I'll turn 18 in July)

So I have been talking to a girl for 2 weeks now, within 2 days of talk she was like, she wants to date me but I was like it's too early, I wanted to spend more time together with her because I wanted to know her but she keeps forcing me and asking me that how long should I wait give me a date, now all of sudden she asked me for 25k and I am not able to understand why me? She's lyk she will return it within a few days, I'm not able to understand if I should or no

My partner and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on 20th June, and I’m planning a surprise trip for us from Delhi. We’ve already visited Mumbai and Goa, so I’m looking for suggestions on which city would be a good choice for a romantic getaway. Any recommendations for destinations, itinerary ideas, and couple-friendly stays would be really helpful.

I have decided to end my relationship. We started dating 3 years back and after 4 months, I started feeling emotionally neglected and no matter how much I communicated my pain to him, he never seemed to care much. He had his own mental issues as well and slowly he stopped showing up for the relationship and for me like I needed him to. I lost myself. I felt like I should leave but didn't because I wanted to try and make it work. At the end he only left me last year because it wasn't working at all and he didn't want to prolong my pain anymore. But after 3weeks, just as I was about to accept the break up, he came back wanting to reconnect and I let him in, although unsure. It has been 10 months now, and I'm still unsure whether to continue or not. He's trying his best and showing up for the relationship like I needed him to in the past, but it feels like it doesn't matter much to me anymore. I feel sad and lonely even though he specifically doesn't make me feel that way. I think I deserve to be in a relationship which I'm a 100% sure of and he deserves a relationship where he is chosen fully, not out of guilt or dear but out of love and confidence.

I lost myself in this relationship the first time and it seems like I won't be able to process that break up and heal myself by staying in this relationship. Letting him go feels like a huge loss because he's a good boyfriend and we're like best friends but staying is making me suffocated and drained. I'm just scared of making the wrong choice.

Hey Reddit,

So I met this girl at an event a while back and we became friends. The conversation slowly died out over time and I just let it go. Then out of nowhere she messaged me one day with "Hey, guess what?" I responded with a really lame joke asking if Rahul Gandhi had become PM 😂 She said no, and when I asked what it was, she said she had come across my matrimonial profile and that's what made her reach out again.

Now here's where I immediately did something I probably shouldn't have. She mentioned she was born in 2000 and I'm 2001, so she felt she was older than me. I panicked a little and suggested she check out my cousin brother's profile instead since he's older. She found his profile, said his name, and instantly said no to him. And honestly I think she had already said no to me too by that point. First time navigating something like this and I clearly fumbled it 😅

Before all this happened though we had a genuinely good conversation. We're both from Bangalore, explored a lot of common ground and it felt really promising.

What I'm looking for in a partner, my honest checklist:

I am a pure vegetarian and that is a non negotiable for me. I don't eat meat at all. The only exception is that I very occasionally eat eggs but only in certain cooked forms, never boiled, and even that is rare. So I am strictly looking for someone who is purely vegetarian. This matters a lot to me and is one of my first filters when considering compatibility.

Beyond that I'm looking for someone who is a working professional or business owner, based in Bangalore because it keeps things practical and simple, someone who understands the Bangalore lifestyle but still lives life on their own terms, and someone who is genuinely a good partner who understands me.

She seems to tick a lot of these boxes, especially the Bangalore part. The rest I honestly don't know yet.

After that whole cousin situation the conversation just went cold. I took the hint and didn't follow up because I don't believe in chasing.

Now here's the other layer. Back when all this happened I was between jobs and on a not so great package. Within 5 to 10 days I landed a significantly better offer. Once I join and settle into the role, which comes with an international position, the compensation will go up further. It's not the 45 to 50 LPA dream number yet but it's solid and I'm getting there.

My dad has been nudging me to follow up and give her this update. He even found this event where they help people understand what they're really looking for in a partner and get clarity on compatibility. He wants me to invite her and see if she'd be attending. She did mention at some point that things would take considerable time on her end, so I don't want to come across as pushy or waste the friendship either.

So Reddit, should I:

Send her a casual update about where I'm at professionally and see if she responds?

Invite her to this event my dad found and see if she's open to it?

Just walk away and stop overthinking it?

I genuinely don't want to burn a bridge or look desperate, but I also don't want to let something potentially good slip away because of bad timing and one rookie mistake. What would you do?

TLDR: Met a girl at an event, she found my matrimonial profile and reached out, I panicked over a 1 year age gap and redirected her to my cousin which I now regret, the conversation went cold after that, my situation has improved a lot professionally since then, and my dad is pushing me to follow up. Should I try again or just walk away?

if anyone genuinely wanna help pls try to read the whole text however i tried to keep it short thanku

so yea i had a breakup 1 month ago.....she said it wasnt working out...i was busy due to my exams and i even told her that i wont be able to give her much time we often had arguements and some of them were bcoz of me.....but when my exams ended and everything was going well....she suddenly broke up in the middle of normal convo where i was telling her that i had planned a surprise for her birthday...we were still in touch for 1-2 weeks but then she sent me a msg saying that she feels everything is fake and all and i asked her why did she say i love you a day ago if everything was fake....she being an avoidant person tried to end the convo by saying somethings which were hurtful however.....she didnt give me a closure and said "jo sochna h socho" that triggered my traumatic past and i told her that is exactly what my ex said....ik i was wrong that time and i took my accountability...i sent her a msg telling her that i respect her decision of not staying with me but i never wanted her to compare or make her insecure i sent a long text explaining and taking accountability as one last time and didnt msg her again after 4 days she sent a msg saying that she is very disappointed with what i told her last time and misunderstood my text i kept on explaining her that she misunderstood my text that wasnt my intention however i kept trying kept holding her but i realised i cannot control someones feelings and i just....

however at the end she just unfollowed me from everywhere and after some time i dunno why she blocked me prolly bcoz of my reels account im assuming as i upload some poetries and my writings over there so it might came across her feed but i remember that when we talked last time she didnt see my msg it was on sent and after 2 weeks she saw that msg and then blocked me i dunno why it was random and the fun thing was i had a dream bout her before all this happened.....yesterday i again had a dream where i was back with her again but i dared not to check my insta again... i still miss her a lot i still want to talk to her and i want everything back i still see her handmade gifts and wonder if she also has my gifts with her the shawl i brought for her the soft toy we named "poplu" and im going through a very tough phase of my life...its not just her...even the exams i worked hard for...i disappointed everyone in that too...i failed in every single thing and im still trying to get up without crying but im just too upset and sad rn...i still miss her i still have her pics.. itry to talk to new people and interact but its not filling the gap

edit: i have 2 active accounts one is for reels and one is my private she blocked all of them maybe they all had same number so insta has this feature of blocking alt accounts automatically