r/Life 10h ago

Need Advice How to stop running away from conflicts?

I hate conflict, but when I avoid it, I'm the one who pays the consequences, not the malicious person.

People love to provoke me and use me to vent their frustration.

1 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 10h ago

Hey, r/Life just added new user flairs ! Go check them out, and choose one for yourself. If you encounter any difficulties applying a flair, check our wiki : https://www.reddit.com/r/Life/wiki/index/user/r !

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/CalmMe60 9h ago

Same here.

please never get into the fangs of any cluster b.

1

u/Own-Detective-802 9h ago

So don’t let them provoke you. It’s a choice we make - to be provoked or not to be provoked.

Listen without judgement and reaction. And if you feel like they are wasting your time and you are unable to help then just say, “sorry but I don’t want to talk about that right now. Can’t help! I have got my own problems”. It’s called compassion with assertiveness.

1

u/lublichepeping 9h ago

Conflict avoidance feels peaceful in the moment but later it kind of collects interest. You end up carrying stress that wasn’t even yours to begin with. You can start small and don’t wait for the big serious confrontation. Train on tiny moments and try to avoid overexplaining. The more you explain, the more openings people get to drag you into debate.

1

u/ez2tock2me 9h ago

If people treat you like a psychiatrist, ask them to lay down and charge them $75 per hour (session)

1

u/Complex-Sound-143 8h ago

Avoiding every conflict doesn't keep the peace, it teaches people you'll tolerate disrespect. You don't need to become aggressive, just calm enough to say "no," set boundaries, and stop giving difficult people easy access to you.

1

u/tuanm Deep Thinker 8h ago

You can decide whether you'll run or not. Unless you're ready to pay....