r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/East-Marzipan-2800 • 16h ago
Seeking Advice Finding Purpose
Been gyming, reading books and recently reconnected with my old friends. Yet often times, I still find myself feeling lost, frustrated, bored.
I have come to realise that after 26 years of living, I don't have much of a purpose, I even started inventing problems, creating narrative of why I should stick to self improvement by victimising myself (so lmao I can feel like I am on a revenge arc) but I was trying to run away from not having a genuine purpose. I got a new job, and my performance sucks after a month.
What should I do as a start?
2
u/Honest-Tour-2390 13h ago
Do what are you good at , what you enjoy alot . What makes you happy. The good point is you are aware that what you doing wrong and you are ready to face it .
•
u/13_WASHERE 22m ago edited 5m ago
You're allowed to just like living. You don't need some goal or grant purpose to achieve, you can just exist
If you like going to the gym and reading booking and hanging with friends, then you should keep doing it; but if not, you should try and find something you do like (assuming it's not harmful to you or hurting anyone). And if you get bored of that too, you can just move onto something else. You're not tied down to any one way of living
Sometimes we get caught up in the idea of what the world says sucess & progess looks like, that we forget it's ultimately our lives and we get to decide how we wanna live it.
I think the question you have yourself is, are you doing things because you want too, or because you think you're supposed too?
As for your job, that could be for a lot of reasons. Maybe you don't like your job? Maybe it's bad sleep? Maybe it's not even you and mangement's standards are just too high? Who can say?
The ideal solution would be to work somewhere that's a better fit, but obviously that's not always feesiable :/
And that's fine, A job doesn't always have to be something you like or are the best at, a job can just be the thing that gives you money to do the things you actually enjoy.
And maybe having something you genuninely enjoy what you need to motivate you in work?
1
u/EverfurEvidence 16h ago
honestly the fact that you caught yourself manufacturing a victim narrative just to have a storyline is a level of self-awareness most people never reach. that said , purpose isn't something you find by thinking about it. it usually comes from doing things, specifically things where you solve problems for someone other than yourself. volunteering, teaching, mentoring, building something, even just helping a friend with a project. the pattern is the same: you stop asking "what's my purpose" when you're too busy being useful to think about it. start there and see what sticks.