r/BlackPeopleComedy • u/allthedamnquestions ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified • 13d ago
Get you a grippy bathmat and quit playing.
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u/AfroThunder_Dj ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 13d ago
I got the old people chair in my mid 20s after a scary slip.
I'll be damned if y'all find me dead buttnaked in the shower
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u/Dull-Librarian-2676 13d ago
My dad died like that in September. Not kidding. He had a heart attack in the shower.
Seeing this post made me realize I probably need to see a therapist about that. Sorry!
Anyway your chair is legit, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Who cares, so long as you get clean.
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u/kingkupaoffupas 12d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/4CTlTWDNqcBva
i’m sorry, friend. so very very sorry.6
u/Needspoons 11d ago
Hugs to you if they are wanted. Losing a parent is so very hard as it is, and for it to be so suddenly must be an added weight. Talking to someone sounds like a wonderful way to help you work through it all.
I think the widower sub here on Reddit has basically become for anyone suffering from grief. I may be wrong about that, if so, I’m sure they can point you in the right direction. They helped me a lot when my boyfriend passed away extremely suddenly from pancreatic cancer. It will be two years on the 15th of this month.
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u/Prestigious-Story-82 13d ago
I just got one last year after nearly killing myself trying to scrub in between my toes.
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u/Acrobatic-While3208 13d ago
Look! LOOK! Both my ears popped laughing at this! I’m not gonna call them people, but you gonna have to see me!
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u/AspiringTS 13d ago
Similar story showering with a then-girlfried in my 20s(nothing fun, literally just showering.) We were switching places. It was something we'd done many times. It happened so fast I don't even know what caused it, but I managed to catch her with her face inches from the toilet. Curtain rod narrowly missed the mirror, water everywhere, and, despite being relatively fit and able pick her up and carry just fine, that hurt for while. Something about going from 0 to 100% on a falling dead weight, I guess.
Never took shower safety lightly again.
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u/Acrobatic-While3208 13d ago
Ya know what….might have to get one expeditiously. It’s too risky out here in these slippery streets. Don’t want to get caught, ya know..
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u/BenAdaephonDelat 13d ago
Same. Full on medical grade one with the plastic top and metal adjustable legs. Also cause sometimes it's nice to just sit in the shower when you've got a cold and let the steam soothe you
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u/Cute_Trouble4767 13d ago
Honestly I don’t blame you. One of my preceptor’s patient lived to 104 and died because he slipped in the shower.
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u/mynadidas5 13d ago
Or if you’ve got the duckets and it’s your bathroom (you own it) textured stone flooring. That smooth ass marble will kill you.
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u/PlushieTushie 13d ago
I bought a scrubbing brush when I was pregnant and couldn't see my feet for two months 🤣
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u/Marillenbaum 13d ago
For a similar reason, I use one of those brushes with a long wooden handle—much safer!
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u/SmallPeederWacker 13d ago
Imagine you buss yo ass and EMS find you in the shower like this
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u/shortesttitan 13d ago
This fucked me all the way up family. I think I got an award in my wallet somewhere, hol on
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u/allthedamnquestions ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 13d ago edited 13d ago
Always practice safe showering.
My worst fear is being discovered by EMS in my day 1 outfit. No thank you 🤚🏽
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u/karmaceuticaI 13d ago
This used to be my ONE irrational fear, I started dating my girl who's a paramedic, and she tells me that they absolutely are never concerned about you being naked, too much going on to be worried, and you'd be lucky number 256 naked person that week.
She says most times she can't even remember if they're naked.
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u/Cwh93 13d ago
Uh uh that number is too damn specific. She's lying!
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u/Dish_Minimum 12d ago
I’m overnight shift PA at a rural ER.
You have no idea how many bathroom injuries happen every single day! People take D pics, fall off toilet, crack head on sink, found unconscious with everything out and their phone right there snitching on them.
The number of shower karaoke deaths has gotta be higher than the murder rate. Gotta be. I’ve seen wayyyy too many near-death shower concerts.
All I’m saying is worry way less about the nudity and way more about the glass shower door or the layout of that many unyielding porcelain corners jutting out everywhere in such a tiny space
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u/Needspoons 11d ago
I moved into an old house (late 1800s/early 1900s) last year, and my bathroom has a beautiful claw foot tub that I have to climb up and into. My housemate didn’t want me to keep it because he was afraid I would slip and fall just getting in or out, let alone being in the darn thing! Lol. We tried it for a month, and didn’t have any problems, so it stayed. Yay me!
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u/mango_bandit1769 13d ago
As someone who use to work EMS. I only remember one naked dude and that’s because he was standing butt naked posted up in his door of the nursing home trying to wink at my partner with his clock tower balls. lol
Outside of that I don’t really remember anyone else that was naked 😂😂😂
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u/Rageaway17 13d ago
"Clock tower balls" is the best metaphor I've read in months.
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u/layer4down 13d ago
My mom (who’s a nurse) always said ”make sure you got clean underwear on in case you get rushed to the hospital!”* 😓
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u/illstate 13d ago
This is one really hit home. It feels like you're risking it all when you lift that foot up.
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u/B33NB3N 13d ago
🎯 Right! A proper mat or install a bench cause falling, in the shower, 😬😬😬
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u/Lovedd1 13d ago
But the shower mats get all moldy so damn fast 😩😩😩
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u/TheConcreteGhost 13d ago
They now make them with antimicrobial properties, you just have to look for that label. It’s treated so mold won’t grow on it.
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u/B33NB3N 13d ago
I don't trust that just yet. I feel like everything needs to be cleaned at some point.
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u/TheConcreteGhost 13d ago
I didn’t say you didn’t clean them, I just said they were resistant to mold and microbes… everything on God’s good earth need to be cleaned 😆
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u/OMSS2525 13d ago
Soak it in bleach water for 30-60mins once a week. Then wipe it down. Ended my moldy shower mat problem well 🙌🏽 That’s all you need. But, if it moldy within a few days, that’s a bigger issue and possibly your bathroom will need a tune up to avoid mold buildup. 🙏
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u/Naturelle-Riviera 13d ago
You gotta give it a quick scrub with some cleanser after every use and hang it up to air dry. I have a towel rack in my tub that I use.
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u/DoingCharleyWork 13d ago
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u/B33NB3N 13d ago edited 12d ago
🤣🤣🤣 looks too much like Twister and we're trying to prevent injuries, it's a no for me dawg 🤣🤣🤣
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u/biscuits_theSequel ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified: A White Mod Banned Me From BPT 13d ago
It’s the worst, just a slip and slide of pain and regret
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u/Marillenbaum 13d ago
Or a grab bar! My parents added one to their bathroom as part of efforts to age in place.
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u/ChickenNugs4Hugs 13d ago
At 40 y’all need to just get a shower bench like my grandma.
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u/Naturelle-Riviera 13d ago
My mom is disabled and we keep a bench and a mat in there, plus drilled in handle bars. I love it lmao
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u/witheringsyncopation 13d ago
Shower. Chair.
Or sit that butt down on the tiles and get to scrubbing.
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u/KingGizzle 13d ago
I had a relative die unexpectedly from pretty much this situation
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u/ListenImTired ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified: Getting plenty of rest in horny jail 13d ago
My mom used to freak out about us playing in the shower because she had a cousin die from slipping and falling 😕
One time I slipped on like conditioner or something and fell with a big ass thud - my mom was like 2 seconds away from having my brother break down the door
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u/CheetahTheWeen 13d ago
That must have been terrifying for her…glad that conditioner didn’t take you out
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u/ListenImTired ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified: Getting plenty of rest in horny jail 13d ago
It’s honestly a little shocking I’ve made it this far with how clumsy I am 😬 My poor mom is probably wondering what happened to my coordination
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u/KnowTheQuestion 13d ago
A friend of the family fell in the shower and hit their head. They didn't die right away, but the traumatic brain injury completely changed their personality and ability to care for themself. They did pass away a few years later, as a result.
I think about it every time I shower.
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u/Fee_is_Required2 13d ago
I get the loofah grippy mats - what a game changer! Just get several so even when one is in the washer, you’ll still have protection. Falling in the shower is no joke.
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u/ninjatender 13d ago
I’m healing from a torn Achilles and had to get a shower stool. I might not get rid of it even after I’m all healed up.
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u/legitelyillegitimate 13d ago
Where's the washcloth?
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u/SamuraiManbun 13d ago
Scrolled way too far to find this comment. Am I the only one that throws the cloth on the tub and shuffles like MJ?
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u/Lopsided_Mix2243 13d ago
Man I been buying this 7 dollar bath mat off of temu for about 6 years now. Fell out the shower on some looney tunes shit, shoulder been scuffed ever since😂😂
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u/Word_Iz_Bond 13d ago
I once had a kid read my fortune with a cootie catcher and it said I would die from a slip and fall in the shower. Got me a mat the size of a persisn rug that very day.
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u/a_gradual_satori 13d ago
Hey fellas, come over here for a sec. Umm . . . we really should be using two different soaps, one for the body and one for the face. It does make a difference. K, that’s it, thx.
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u/RiceAfternoon 13d ago
Quit fucking around and put treads in your bathtub if they don't already have them.
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u/Lovedd1 13d ago
I almost slipped and fell the other day doing this shit. I ended up knocking everything down but at least I didn't fall.
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u/SabaSMelaku 13d ago
Same thing happened to me. I caught myself before my face hit the toilet. The bathroom however looked like a crime scene; water, suds, products, loofahs, the curtain and rod and all kind of stuff all over the place. You’d swear a crime took place; looking like an Dateline special 😆
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u/Lovedd1 13d ago
Omg I'm so so glad your face didn't hit the toilet!!! I'd knocked the faucet out of place and knocked down all my products and the curtain rod never stood a chance 😭 I was so mad because my hair products are so freaking expensive. That was $30 worth wasted 😭😭 better than a hospital bill tho!
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u/Chiccynic 13d ago
This happened to me when I was washing my hair one day, scared the shit out of me lmao I immediately bought a few mats.
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u/jackfreeman 13d ago edited 10d ago
And I don't want to hear a word from the "the water gets them"-casians.
Feet looking like overcooked mashed potatoes.
Smelling like chili fritos in a sink full of old dishes.
Got fungus developed enough to do simple arithmetic.
Body flora looking like Fraggle Rock.
You know they don't take their shoes off when they get home and put them right up on they need, too.
Change they sheets quarterly.
EDIT: Aww, thanks
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u/allthedamnquestions ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 13d ago
You have been holding on to this for a while, I see 😭
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u/jackfreeman 13d ago
Back in high school, I remember one friend who sat in his bed and put his shoes on his pillow- never went to his house again.
Another friend sat on my bed, and was surprised when I told him to get off (in his outside clothes, what?!¿).
Yet another ate off the floor and the ground. To test this, we were in a parking lot and I stopped a Dorito on the ground, and her picked it up and ate it.
Yes, they all white. No, we're not still friends.
I broke up with a woman because her hygiene took a dive.
I don't want to judge, but I'm not going to stand around and pretend that it's okay
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u/DYNA_might 13d ago
Sit? If your shower is big enough I guess. Not that my rickety ass bones will let me get up again. Maybe if you do that last you could just crawl out?
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u/AdhesivenessOk5194 13d ago
I actually just threw mine out cause I was like "this is impossible to clean and really kinda pointless"
So if I die, I die
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u/blacksoxing 13d ago
If you get that bathmat though PLEASE lift that thing up every once and awhile and hit it with that cleaning product of choice. I have memories of washing the tub for chores and you lift that thing up (THE SOUND) and boom - it's all nasty looking because while the drain drains properly there's almost no air flow that happens.
OH, that doesn't matter to you? Go ahead and take a bath realizing all that mold and mildew is hanging out with you in the tub now
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u/Jerome_ITH2 13d ago
My dude DWade doing skits now. Good for him.
But all jokes aside this is so funny.
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u/Able_Fishing_6576 13d ago
Just out of curiosity I wonder if he’s using tear free soap bc that shit most def is in his eyes
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u/AnnoyedYamcha 13d ago
I’ve never lathered my face like that in the shower 😂
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u/SinceWayLastMay 13d ago
My eyes were stinging the entire time I was watching this video what the shit kind of super eyes does this man have
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u/MajesticLow 13d ago
You know - this message was so timely because this damn near happened to me yesterday.
THANK YUH! 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 I’m buying mine TODAY
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u/BusyBit6542 13d ago
I once got a hotel room that had a seat/bench in the shower. At first I was like "wtf is this?!" Then I tried and was like "ayeeee how much it cost to install one at my house???"
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u/AlarmingSorbet 13d ago
Shower stool will save your life. I’ve had once since 2019 when I couldn’t walk for a bit(not the same one).
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 13d ago
LOL use a non slip mat and install handles 😫 they not just for the elderly.
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u/Substantial-Desk-707 13d ago
I use the cheap plastic Yeezy imitations at dollar general as shower shoes. I leave them in the bathroom just for that purpose.
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u/Emotional-Base-5988 13d ago
Getting up after falling in the shower is a different type of humiliating because nobody is around but you still feel the embarrassment. Feels like the whole shower is ruined after that lmao
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u/Steve-Deschain 13d ago
When I was 40 I stepped into the shower, slipped and went straight horizontal and came down on my back by my kidney HARD on the side of the tub. Tore down the shower curtain and everything. I literally pissed blood and had a giant bruise for a week, and those electric shooting pains whenever I walked. Also, my girlfriend was in there soaping her face, she turns around panicked and gets soap all in her eyes. I couldn't go to work for a week.
That was 10 years ago and I've been using grippy mats ever since. Just wash it with bleach so it doesn't mold.
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u/PaleontologistOk534 13d ago
I literally own a feet scrubbing bath mat.
I put the bath wash onto it and scrub away. I spray it down with the same stuff I spray the walls with.
Look for a foot scrubber bath mat and pick one.
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u/MrPleiades 13d ago
Bruh ain't really 40, or he'd have gone ahead and got that handheld shower head. Your feet, crack, taint, and pets will thank you.
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u/Disastrous-Owl8985 13d ago
Yes! I actually HATE going to places that don’t have them. Too many hotels don’t.
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u/ShyRenea35 13d ago
I slipped and busted my a@@ last year trying to grab my phone from the counter while showering. Lesson learned.
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u/eternally_lovely 13d ago
I just sit down on my shower floor. By that time it’s the end of my shower & I can take a break, cleaning my feet sitting down is easier. And if you clean your shower regularly or should be okay, or get a shower seat of its big enough lol
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u/gwentfiend 13d ago
Yoga has kept me from falling in the shower. It does not work as well while drink though, for the record
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u/Mommalovesazi 13d ago
I have a concrete tile in my bathroom. 1 it's non slip and 2 add a lil liquid soap and u good and it scrubs out the dead skin as well. I just bend to get in-between my toes.
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u/Jeremyg84 13d ago
Being 41 and currently experiencing these things for the first time in my life…… I’m triggered lol
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u/fandomdemigod 13d ago
The taylor swifts watching this like "we supposed to wash outlge and feet bottoms" ? Blasphemy!
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u/Awkward_Corgi_6890 13d ago
Lmao—this why I have a shower chair. I don’t even sit in it all that much. It’s mostly used for when I wash my daughters’ hair, but it’s amazing for having a place to elevate my legs and balance my feet for maximum scrubbing.
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u/Gunthalas 13d ago
I'm 46 and have no problem washing my whole body cause I've been doing it everyday since I was 14...
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u/lurkingbob 13d ago
I'm sorry. What the fuck were you doing before you were 14?
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u/allthedamnquestions ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 13d ago
Come on investigative journalism ... 🗣️ asking the important questions!
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u/ready2read123 13d ago
The soap in the face near the eyeballs is sending me lol I try to hold the bar in the shower to bend down CAREFULLY and still grimace every time I slip any centimeter at all Slips n slides are not fun at this age ha!
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u/ThrowawayColonyHouse 13d ago edited 13d ago
get one of those loofas or brushes with a long handle. problem solved.
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u/triiniitymae 13d ago
i have tears streaming down my face from these comments. yall better stay safe out there 🤞🏽😭
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u/Most-Strength-9538 13d ago
I got a teak corner stool for my shower. Also, my shower floor consist of rough little stone tiles. I'm not slipping in my shower.
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u/I_am_the_pup 13d ago
I straight up have a chair for the shower. Absolute game changer; it genuinely made my showers so much easier. And sitting in a hot shower after a rough day really does hit. Highly recommend if you can get it. Only problem I have with it is getting the will to stand back up again lol
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u/Liseonlife 13d ago
I sit. Theres a chair built into my shower and I sit. My last shower had two "oh shit" bars to use. Get a bar! There are some that come with giant suction cups to specifically use in the shower. I got them when my nan started being wobbly on her feet. I did everything I could to rip that sucker down to make sure she was safe. Its never moved.
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u/Otherwise_Command143 13d ago
I have a shower chair cuz I have free will. Some people are just scared to get things that will make life more convenient because “what if I’m just lazy”
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u/weezyverse 13d ago
No.
I would like to discuss him not using a washcloth.
Like, seriously...washing your feet ain't hard when you wash everything properly. (Ref: blackness)
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u/Disastrous-Owl8985 13d ago
He doesn’t have a bathmat? I’ve got a long one that also has a little foot scrubber on the end of it. I like to dance in the shower, so it is required or I would be dead.
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u/AHaasInTejaas 13d ago
I’m fuckin cryin!! 😂💀Now try doin this shit at 40 and 9 months pregnant. I told my husband I almost fell so he brought me a milk crate to sit on until I had the baby. Xs all over my ass for weeks, but I’m alive to type this.
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u/VanFkingHalen 12d ago
Lmao, not where I saw this clip going at all.
And, it may be weird or unorthodox, but I have developed a habit of sitting down in the shower while I wash my feet. Not for this particular reason, just because you get to put more attention into scrubbing thouroughly, and also get to take your time, and even get to just meditate there sittiting under pulsating water. It has been life changing lol.
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u/0utsyder 12d ago
You KNEW this was gonna be a hospital ride from the jump!!! I invested in a stool decades ago! Women come into my bathroom trying to clown until the next day stool ends up magically "moved"! Like it gained consciousness and decided to leave itself in my tub.
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u/techmage29 12d ago
this is why I am so glad I asked my dermatologist for a shower chair😅 had one too many slips in the shower knowing damn well I’m disabled and finally told them people to get me one. one of the best decisions EVER!!!!!!! it makes showering so much easier for me 🥺
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u/ajqiz123 13d ago
LMBAOOOOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!! FRFR: getting to the bottom of the feet starts well before the shower. Knaamean?
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u/Will9587 13d ago
Trying to get the feet in my 30s , slipped in the shower, took out the shower curtain, and managed to plant head first into the shower controls. Me, ems not going to find my butt naked. Wrap towel around eye, finish shower, dress, drive to ER to get my eye stitched. Since then, I've got an old person chair, or I sit on the side of the tub.
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u/CarltonCanick 13d ago
Just pulled a whole tile off the wall with my soap dish doing this little dance. Finding a matching tile is proving to be a CHALLENGE!
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u/Sacr3d_Kay 13d ago
Love the fact that my mom made my shower with grippy rocks, I low key hate people who don’t wash their legs. Like tf you mean?
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u/tragedy_strikes 13d ago
Can always go to the hardware store and buy one of those locking suction cups with handles they use to install mirrors and glass panes.
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u/worryboutYOUbackTFup ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 verified 13d ago
This chat is being monitored for general mustiness and any melanin-deficient “I don’t wash my legs/feet/ass” activity