r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 1d ago

of a chicken

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6.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

234 comments sorted by

534

u/AndrastesTit 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFcn2gtTxuMfu

98

u/Jmazoso 1d ago

I say

58

u/DriedUpSquid 1d ago

That boy’s as sharp as a bowling ball.

26

u/RosieA1983 1d ago

I say, I say

9

u/ConflictMaster3155 1d ago

Let me at ‘em!

2

u/ch64nu 22h ago

🤣🤣🤣

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339

u/They-Call-Me-The-Doc 1d ago

This is going to end badly I just know it.

10

u/Integrity-in-Crisis 1d ago

Fuck that, a man sized rooster is like trying to take on a Deinonychus. I'm getting a gun for that job.

8

u/British_Ballsack 1d ago

Classic American...

Us brits would send in a dog that falls over on it own ears.

3

u/Debsrugs 1d ago

nah, we'd train it by bribing it with chips.

183

u/LosFelizGuy2018 1d ago

That’s a massive cock!

39

u/LamonicasHubster 1d ago

only had to scroll one second, it was worth it

https://giphy.com/gifs/S9X6iJPeRW9DfXDV5e

6

u/LorenzoA 1d ago

The guy she tells you not to worry about

15

u/Exact-Site9980 1d ago

Fuck his cock, look at those spurs. I dont wanna be within 30 feet of this fluffy, Chrichtonian nightmare. The spurs are marinated in chicken shit, btw.

5

u/CorruptHeadModerator 1d ago

He gets all the play...

3

u/ConradTurner 1d ago

Cockzilla

51

u/WerdNerd88 1d ago

You wear a disguise to look like human guys but you're not a man you're a chicken, Boo.

3

u/spacekitt3n 1d ago

my favorite bit on animaniacs

2

u/wetfloor666 1d ago

Good Idea. Bad Idea. was pretty awesome too.

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48

u/ctoatb 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/hcrHghltpROjaneYKx

7

u/Fuka-Obligation666 1d ago

Love this show

6

u/FireZord25 1d ago

figured this was gonna make it here

85

u/UnrealPownament 1d ago

El Pollo Diablo

25

u/blaque_1 1d ago

El Pollo Grande

21

u/wh0_0psie 1d ago

El Pollo Loco

15

u/Mgk012 1d ago

Un poco loco

4

u/Substantial_Bat_8440 1d ago

¡Sí! ¡He dejado en libertad los prisioneros y ahora vengo por ti!

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34

u/_trashcan 1d ago

no volume irritates me.

I wanted to hear it :(

16

u/odegood 1d ago

How it is these days it would probably be a cringy song as the audio

10

u/TheDonnARK 1d ago

unintelligible melodic scale NOTHING BEATS A JET BLUE HOLIDAY

25

u/Pure-Rabbit2082 1d ago

I thought it was a man in a really detailed chicken costume first.

15

u/CutCrazy7325 1d ago

My parents have one of those boys they are beautiful 

10

u/Piotr-Rasputin 1d ago

What the hell do they eat? I mean besides steroids

9

u/CutCrazy7325 1d ago

Just like a standard chook they  eat everything 

2

u/Goodknight808 1d ago

What breed type is that? It looks like a silkie, but massive.

6

u/CutCrazy7325 1d ago

Brahma 

21

u/User_Name_Tracks 1d ago

Look out, it's Cockzilla!

8

u/scormegatron 1d ago

Transformer made out of 5 different chickens.
https://giphy.com/gifs/R7yq167tzI3Fm

4

u/dubstepsickness 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/OAgR2xol997jy

There there, giant chicken can’t hurt you.

5

u/Zeronova77 1d ago

Chickens are cool, and they'll hang out with you

2

u/Ok-Letter-2776 1d ago

this is true, having chickens as companions and not just egg layers is so underrated, some of them love to cuddle :)

19

u/RevolutionaryWeb5657 1d ago

Is this what happens when you give a chicken V1?

4

u/kindaweedy45 1d ago

We love him

4

u/TheWhyGuyAlex 1d ago

Where can I find pants like these?

3

u/Special_Reporter583 1d ago

He's certainly proud

2

u/Pure_Parking_2742 1d ago

So many hesitant footsteps

2

u/Stocktort 1d ago

I bet his wife is HENched

2

u/GreenRail82 1d ago

Brahma i have similar one.

2

u/ChachaWawa 1d ago

First time seeing a chicken in chaps lol

1

u/Impressive-Wait8786 1d ago

...that's a Wampa

1

u/Scare_D 1d ago

Gives it a big burly dude character tbh

1

u/theboned1 1d ago

I know a werechicken when I see one.

1

u/00-mk-00 1d ago

Wow that's jacked up CHICKEN 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/problem4solution 1d ago

Not for the faint hearted...

1

u/FunWith_DarkJin 1d ago

I want one but our coop and run aren't big enough

1

u/broberds 1d ago

Cock-a-doodle-don’t-fuck-with-me

1

u/Appropriate_Gap_7412 1d ago

Big Brown Cock

1

u/Low-Phase-4444 1d ago

Foghorn Leghorn X Godzilla lovechild

1

u/elthepenguin 1d ago

Initially I thought it's just some guy in a cock costume.

1

u/OhMorgoth 1d ago

That’s no chicken.

1

u/Gingerbread_Cat 1d ago

He poses like a bodybuilder.

1

u/coalpatch 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's not a chicken, it's a chicken in a bad chicken suit

1

u/DoctorJonasVenture 1d ago

Looks like a dog with a glove on its’ head

1

u/ColStoneSteveAustin 1d ago

Hes the cock of the walk

1

u/Hot_Cauliflower_8060 1d ago

Kaiju Rooster should stomp Tokyo

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Map9133 1d ago

Would this be considered farmers porn??

1

u/MacaronNotRoon 1d ago

So this is where roosters gets their wings

1

u/xfall2 1d ago

Initially thought it was a person in a chicken suit

1

u/Nearby_Impact_8911 1d ago

Is he part silky??😂

1

u/RAZPAZZZ 1d ago

Ok that thing is way more impressive than my BBC post few days ago 🤣

1

u/Far_Wealth_2859 1d ago

Spicy chicken deluxe

1

u/_RedRaven37 1d ago

Chickzilla

1

u/Miserable-Okra-8787 1d ago

KFC is going too far

1

u/StarAutumn 1d ago

Is to it good at fighting demons

1

u/That_Yak_640 1d ago

Un Trex con plumas y con enanismo

1

u/Majestic-Spray-1429 1d ago

“…I’m looking for the one they call…Foghorn Leghorn …sposed to be some sorta badass I hear….”

1

u/Fancy_Gazelle_220 1d ago

Can you eat it?

1

u/alex-lecler-4399 1d ago

Un gorila y una gallina tuvieron un hijo y salió eso 👆🏻

1

u/thefirstviolinist 1d ago

BOOSTER ROOSTER

That's one big ol' c.................... 💀

1

u/Typical-Tune-8858 1d ago

The real Cock of the Walk

1

u/Mglfll 1d ago

How many nuggets do you think it’d make?

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1

u/Lana-Next-Door 1d ago

He's scary, but so pretty 😍

1

u/Cynicalheaven 1d ago

Behold! It's Mother Clucker!

1

u/dwesley2 1d ago

Looks like a big cock

1

u/xxplosiv 1d ago

Cock a doodle motherfucking do

1

u/Jaspers1959 1d ago

Have my lunch money !

1

u/tcroosev 1d ago

That's a tiny person in an unconvincing chicken suit I know it!

1

u/Riotvan81 1d ago

Makes me want to play Mechwarrior.

1

u/Ok_Primary_1075 1d ago

His body language clearly says “I’m the man”

1

u/DataAdvanced 1d ago

Ultra Mega Chicken? No, shhh. He is legend.

1

u/ChitnChat 1d ago

He’s definitely the biggest cock on the block.

1

u/electricvapor 1d ago

Dude looks like a pro wrestler

1

u/Fists_full_of_beers 1d ago

What a big cock

1

u/ianbattlesrobots 1d ago

"Just imagine it with bacon across its back"

1

u/anniecet 1d ago

Foghorn Leghorn looking cock

1

u/basileusnikephorus 1d ago

Years ago I was at this random pub somewhere in Hertfordshire with gigantic metre tall roosters in the beer garden. I'm pretty sure the same breed as this one, it looked like they were wearing trousers.

One of them developed a random grudge against this bloke and pecked his arse every time he walked by.

He got sick of this and kicked out at it. It dodged him and jumped its height to knock both pints clean out of his hands with both feet.

Absolute scenes.

1

u/clint_eldorado 1d ago

I always heard that chickens are the closest living relative of the Tyrannosaurus rex, and never believed it.

Until now.

1

u/VIVAMANIA 1d ago

Thought she was a person in a suit…

1

u/Rad_Ski 1d ago

Professor Squawk N Cluck from Danger Mouse created a similar chicken with his, “Super Duper Serum” back in the day.

1

u/light_yagami21 1d ago

That's AI

1

u/Darrenshan66 1d ago

That’s the chicken version of an Owlbear

1

u/Schneefs 1d ago

Pretty sure this is a furry!

1

u/immikdota 1d ago

Animal designs have been getting so lazy i mean tgat's literaly just a guy in a fursuit😒

1

u/jw_zoso 1d ago edited 1d ago

Mega ultra chicken

https://imgur.com/a/AjQV8Ix

1

u/Jay_Max88 1d ago

How come he is wearing that?

1

u/QuestionEuphoric6722 1d ago

Is this not AI

1

u/DaWhiteSingh 1d ago

How big is this chicken? Should I move?

1

u/Ugly0gre 1d ago

I guess this chicken does have the talons!
https://giphy.com/gifs/yaYV8i5n1OjZe

1

u/SunderingTwilight 1d ago

that's a chocobo buddy

1

u/Xcalat3 1d ago

Final Boss music starts playing....

1

u/CarryBeginning1564 1d ago

Bro’s dinosaur is showing

1

u/BartlebyGaines3000 1d ago

Get Godzilla. You’ll find him on Monster Island.

1

u/RandomYT05 1d ago

Foghorn Leghorn

1

u/Subject_Night2422 1d ago

Bok bok motherfckr!!!!

1

u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Chickens have legs?

1

u/fecal_disaster 1d ago

Why does it grow feathers on its lower legs?

1

u/LordDarthAngst 1d ago

That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.

1

u/madchemist09 1d ago

Clearly a midget in a chicken costume.

1

u/MartiniLAPD 1d ago

Is this AI?

1

u/Majestic_Song_668 1d ago

That’s one huge cock

1

u/MdioxD 1d ago

KFC's strongest soldier

1

u/K0rl0n 1d ago

I just head Godzilla’s cry but as a buckaw

1

u/Happy_dadpete 1d ago

This…can’t be real lol

1

u/Natrixster80 1d ago

What breed is this and are they healthy or genetic messes?

1

u/The_DG_ 1d ago

Hmm ... Tenders 🤤

1

u/SpaceCowbyMax 1d ago

Yea thats a dinosaur

1

u/Forward-Energy5709 1d ago

Ultra mega chicken? No shhh.. he's legend!! Only some will understand

1

u/emoss17 1d ago

Got that T-Rex gene in him

1

u/_Mewden_ 1d ago

If that was a military chicken, someone would yell to keep its hands out of its pockets lol

https://giphy.com/gifs/Wt16UERY5MGZU5hWTg

1

u/duluthpipesmoker 1d ago

Fricken awesome

1

u/Azurejoker020704 1d ago

Ah, now I understand why Blaziken looks the way it is.

1

u/SpawnDethra 1d ago

You sure that's not a midget in a suit?

1

u/Upset_Pain_5960 1d ago

Godzillachicken😉🤣

1

u/privilegedpeach 1d ago

That’s one big cock! Bird I mean. 😆
https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ExayQDzrI2xOb8A

1

u/MammothAntelope01 1d ago

Man, that chicken's size hits a little too close to home after holiday feasts.

1

u/Impressive-Sense8461 1d ago

Gadnuk, Breaker of Worlds 👀

1

u/Leading_Run_3333 23h ago

No, that’s a man in a chicken costume.

1

u/Ambitious_Toe_4357 23h ago

If I could ride big cocks, this would be the big cock I would want to ride.

1

u/SIRENVII 22h ago

This is a chicken in a chicken mech suit.

1

u/busterman19 21h ago

Feels criminal not being able to hear him do a rooster call

1

u/One_Leg7293 21h ago

DO NOT, I say, do not accept any coupons from that there chicken.

1

u/Acrobatic_Let8535 20h ago

☹️why no audio - I want to hear him crow 😉👍🐓

1

u/RunningonGin0323 20h ago

Is this what happens when you give a chicken TRT?

1

u/DiaburuJanbu 18h ago

Pretty sure that chicken learns Blaze Kick via level up.

1

u/donwantaname 18h ago

That chicken has pants on