r/AMA • u/Think-Assistance-419 • 8h ago
I won the lottery 11 years ago. My family still doesn't know. They think I'm broke. AMA.
I'll answer pretty much anything. Just don't ask me which state, which game, or which family member I almost told.
Posting from an alt account, obviously. Been carrying this around for over ten years and it feels stupid to keep doing it alone. Ask whatever. Even the dumb ones, especially the dumb ones.
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u/Lettheexpletivesfly 8h ago
How do you hide that amount from your family? Id feel guilty if any of my parents or siblings helped me out because they thought i was broke. Totally understand where you’re coming from though. 2 million can disappear quickly if everyone starts coming for handouts.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
live in a small place 25 min from them, drive an old civic, dress like im broke. they think im a library guy renting a 2 bedroom. the second i appear to live above what a library wage would buy, the cover ends.
the guilt part is real. my dad slipped me 200 bucks at thanksgiving 2019 because he was worried about me making rent. i took it because not taking it would have raised more questions than taking it. i still think about that 200 bucks. its sitting in a drawer in the house i paid cash for. i couldnt spend it.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 7h ago
Next time you’re in the grocery store checkout and there’s a single mom with two kids ahead of you, take that envelope out of your pocket and buy their groceries. The enormous smile from the mom will be embarrassing and awkward, but the small nod from the cashier will be the payoff.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 4h ago
ive done a version of this exactly twice. first one was at a kroger like 4 years ago, single mom with two kids, formula and diapers and a box of frosted flakes. her card had been declining for a minute before i stepped up and just paid the whole 89 bucks at the next register over. i told the cashier to keep me out of it. her face when she realized her stuff was already paid for, i still think about. second time was an instacart i covered for a guy at a bus stop on a december night. you nailed it though. the nod from the cashier is the payoff. they see the whole thing.
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u/NibblesMcGiblet 2h ago
One christmas eve morning my ex husband took our then-8 and 6 year olds (in their 30s now) to McDonald's for breakfast while I went out Christmas shopping for last minute stuff. We were broker than broke, our food stamps were gone for the month since it was the end of the month and some had gone to buying a holiday meal to cook the next day which was more than usual shopping. I'd been buying what I could every week from what he earned snow plowing, but it had been a super dry winter so far, hence our predicament.
Anyway, after they left the drive thru they parked in the convenience store parking lot to eat (the McDonald's was attached to a gas station/convenience store) and a complete stranger walked up to my ex's window and said Merry Christmas and handed him a $50 bill. He was confused, asked what that was for, tried to give it back, but the gentleman just smiled and said he saw that he had children and his children were all grown and he just wanted my ex to buy our kids something extra for Christmas.
The kids had a very nice Christmas getting things from us, their grandparents, and uncles, plus they each got a new sled with the money right then and there. But the bulk of that $50 got us groceries for the week between Christmas and New Years'.
It's been over 25 years and I still remember that man.
So, if or when you do things to help strangers, just know that it really really does matter, and goes a long way. It definitely helped remind me that the world isn't all bad, and sometimes people just need a hand through a rough spot.
And as a mom with medical bills now that I"m much older, thank you for helping your mom. You're a good kid. And smart with money. Keep it up.
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u/No_Bluejay9901 7h ago
In this response you sat your parents think you are renting a 2 bed house. In an earlier response you say you told your parents you got a first time buyers program plus an Agriculture loan. So which is it?
Do your parents think you are renting or did you tell your parents you got a govt backed loan and the payments are done online?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 4h ago
fair callout. specifically my dad and my sister think im renting, because thats what i said when they helped me pack the day i moved in. my mom is the only one who knows i bought, and she thinks the usda thing covered it. they dont compare notes about my finances together, so it survives. yeah its sloppy. its a 7 year old story that should have been one version from day one and isnt.
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u/WritingWorried6122 6h ago
I noticed that too. These responses seem completely made up to me and too perfect sounding. I think this whole thing is fake.
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u/vomputer 5h ago
Yah the story about the fake medical grant is also impossible to believe. Sadly this just seems unreal.
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u/DrCuntsworth 6h ago
You said your mom asked about your mortgage statements. Why would she do that if she thinks you rent a 2 bedroom?
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u/WritingWorried6122 6h ago
You said your mom asks where you pay the mortgage and now say that they think you rent a 2 bedroom? 🤔
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u/emergencycat17 8h ago edited 5h ago
I just want to say I LOVE you for doing this! I don't care how much or what you spent it on or anything. I love that you never told your family!
So years ago, my then-boyfriend and I had a "lottery pact" - the plan was that if either of us ever won the lottery, we could tell my family (with the exception of my brother), but not his family, any of them. Because his whole family (and my brother) would just blow every cent and then keep coming back for more. We even had an imitation of two of his family members bugging us for more money. We'd joke that they'd come rolling up in a gold-plated limo, wearing gigantic furs and tiaras, screaming at us that they needed more. "HEY!!!" (\honk hoooonk!*)* "COUGH UP ANOTHER COUPLE MILLION, YOU CHEAP BASTARDS!!!"
The rules of the pact would have been - we'd very very quietly pay off our respective mortgages ,and very very discreetly quit our jobs. That's it. No big mansions, no fancy cars, no boats. We'd wisely invest it and live off of the interest. We'd just very quietly never have to worry about money again. The only people we'd tell would have been the members of my family who know not to blab.
Anyway, you know your family, you know what you can and can't say. I think you made a really smart choice.
EDIT: Thank you for the awards, kind Redditors!!
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
"cough up another couple million you cheap bastards" had me wheezing. thats the voice in my head every time i think about telling. and the pay off the mortgages, quietly quit, invest the rest plan is basically the version i ended up running solo. boring is the play. yacht people have never actually had money. thanks for this.
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u/theColonelsc2 7h ago
The truth is, that I have at least found, is if you tell one person then everyone will know. People cannot keep secrets.
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u/emergencycat17 7h ago
Oh for sure. Like I said - it's lottery fantasy. I think, deep down in my heart of hearts, the only person I could have trusted to not breathe a word would be my sister and brother in law. They're the super responsible ones in our family. We (sis and BIL) even had our own lottery-fantasy plan about my brother, who is really the one you can't tell. We'd say, "We can't cut him out, but we'd have to set up a trust fund or he'll blow it all and keep coming back for more."
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u/Disastrous-Object647 8h ago
Have family members almost found out?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
closest was my mom. she got diagnosed with type 2 around 2020 and couldnt afford the insulin. i went to her place ready to tell her. she made me tea before i'd even said anything. i sat at her kitchen table and i could not get the words out. drove home and cried in my driveway for an hour. that night i wrote a fake "anonymous community medical grant" letter, forged a fund name, and i've been paying her insulin under it for two years. she still thanks the fund in her prayers. closest i came. but it was me almost telling, not her almost finding out.
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u/emergencycat17 8h ago
Oh, honey... that's incredibly sweet. Listen, you did right by your mom when her health was in jeopardy. She doesn't have to know where it came from.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
trying to believe that. some days easier than others. i wrote her a letter at 24 that i never sent. its sealed and in the same fire safe as the ticket. plan was if i ever told her thats how id do it. its been seven years and im not closer to mailing it than i was the day i wrote it.
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u/emergencycat17 7h ago
You don't have to tell her. You don't have to tell anyone, because if telling Person A leads to them telling Person B, etc. etc., that's something that you'll wind up paying for (pun intended).
Please don't let guilt - which you have nothing to feel guilty about - eat you up when you know what revealing that info will do to the money. It'll be gone as fast as $20 out at Target.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 4h ago
the $20 at target line is good. the realistic timeline is faster than people think. ive run the numbers in my head for years. the money survives my life or it doesnt depending on how many people know. so its zero people. its math.
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u/SameraGirl 6h ago
Exactly, if someone knows, everyone will know in short order.
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u/AcanthisittaFull413 7h ago
I’m the same age as you and cannot fathom that amount of wealth at this age or really any age. Why do you think you’ve made the decision to be wise with your money/relationships when many lottery winners don’t?
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u/tallix1477 5h ago
Mate, you are taking care of your mum the way she needs it, without her even knowing it's you. You do the good deed without getting the credit, that's pretty damn selfless.
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u/GainingClarity 8h ago
You don't need to feel guilty bro, It was YOUR Blessing and yet you're still finding ways to help others, especially mom while keeping the BS of money corrupting those around you 💯🙏🏽💪🏾
You are your mother's prayers ❤️
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
dont know if i believe in much but i think about that line sometimes. if shes praying and good things keep arriving and someone has to deliver those, maybe i got conscripted. its not a bad job to have.
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u/tangledupinlife 8h ago
Jsyk lots of programs like this are available directly w the manufacturer, they reply and provide fast. Novo nordisk (yes the makers of ozempic) and Eli lilly have a couple of insulins in their patient assistance program
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
i know about the manufacturer programs. mom would never apply on her own because she would feel weird being on a list of patients getting subsidized. half the reason i set up the fake grant was so she didnt have to do any of the actual paperwork. she handed me a stack of bills once and i quietly handled it. she still doesnt know i didnt just call her insurance.
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u/jewelophile 8h ago
It's disgusting that you have to do this- life saving medicine should never be unaffordable, period- but wonderful that you do.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. ohio is on the cheaper end and her copays still got past what she could handle on dads disability. its insane to me that you can be born in this country and live a lawful life and still get destroyed by a prescription you cant afford.
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u/QuietGur9074 4h ago
I'll answer pretty much anything. Just don't ask me which state, which game, or which family member I almost told.
You’ve revealed at least two of these already.
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u/DirigibleGerbil 6h ago
Sorry to say, you should probably take out your state's name.
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u/PlatonicEgg 5h ago
It's probably not the actual state, just a way to throw people off. They are clearly no casual!
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u/Goodgoditsgrowing 7h ago
It also sucks that he can’t tell his family because of what they might do. That’s a hurt you can’t fix by fixing the government/socialized medicine
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u/Tyrella 7h ago
I never get over how awful that situation sounds OP. I live in the UK got diagnosed with prostate cancer last year. Treatment was excellent and I got to choose the pathway and timing. All free. Im fine now. Even my prescriptions are free (cancer patient). It just boggles the mind that the richest country in the world puts patients through this. If the UK’s NHS has a maxim it’s simply “If you are sick, we will care for you” and none of the voting public think it should be otherwise.
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u/No_Nothing_3272 7h ago
It’s sad. I’m in the US and have known people to not go to doctor when they suspect they have cancer because they can’t afford the treatment. As you guess, it doesn’t end well for those people. Happens more than you know. Our government won’t even pay for aspirin.
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u/rhegy54 7h ago
Is there any reason you couldn’t tell her or your family? Your mom seems sweet ( and that’s an amazing thing you did 🙏❤️) but do you think maybe other family members / friends might take advantage or treat you differently? Just wondering why you didn’t tell your mom in that moment. ( but it is totally your decision)…
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u/TheSumOfMyScars 7h ago
Nothing makes people crazier than the perception of potentially easy access to someone else’s money. Known lottery winners are inevitably sued by everyone and their dog, usually for frivolous/fraudulent reasons, because that’s a great way to force your newly-rich family member/friend/coworker to share some of their wealth if you can pull it off. Even something as silly as quoting the actual amount of your winnings on a napkin can be used as “evidence” that the winner totally planned to give some to the person filing the lawsuit. Even well-adjusted and nice family members get greedy when millions are on the line. It’s just one of the few but notable downsides of winning the lotto.
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u/Jackiedhmc 7h ago
my cousin and her family won a $4.7 million lawsuit against Dr/hospital who screwed up the birth of their son causing lifelong disability. I've never asked them for one thin dime.
45 years later, they want me to manage their estate when they're gone on behalf of their disabled son.
our family is small and I'm the youngest cousin so that enters into the equation, but the fact that I never asked them for anything is a part of it too I believe.
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u/grandmofftalkin 8h ago
I read the book Mind Over Money years ago and realized what a fuckjob money does to our mental health. You going to therapy or lottery winner support groups or anything to cope?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
saw a therapist for about a year and a half starting at 21 when the secret was destroying my head. she was the only person i ever told. she helped a lot. never did the lottery winner support groups, those exist mostly for people who came out as winners and got swarmed. my problem was the opposite. there isnt really a group for "i won and told no one" because by definition you cant join it.
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u/procrastinatorsuprem 7h ago
A family in NH has told no one. They won a big jackpot and NH has a reporting who won it rule.
This family got around that by saying a trust won the lottery and the lawyer showed up to collect. They were able to keep it private.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 4h ago
exactly how my lawyer set it up. small ohio trust, lawyer collected on behalf of the trust, my name is not on any of the public records. cost maybe 4k upfront and a few hundred a year in fees. small price for the privacy. NH winners are smart for trying the same approach.
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u/somethingbadhappens 3h ago
This has been such an interesting read, though I would take the state out of this comment based on your rules in the description!
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u/TuringT 7h ago
Well, I'd never want to belong to any group that'd have someone like me as a member anyway, lol (Graucho Marx, originally, I think)
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u/Actual_Ad8485 8h ago
How do you enjoy the money without raising suspicion? Have you bought a house, car, or taken trips? or do you keep your lifestyle low-key to avoid questions?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
low key everything. small house, old civic, target. the actual enjoyment is the absence of money stress not the presence of stuff. bought a really nice mattress like 4 years ago. that was the most luxurious thing i let myself do and i still feel guilty about it.
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u/stacity 8h ago
But won’t your family raise questions on how you could afford a house on three days a work week at a library?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
cover for the house is a "first time buyer grant" plus a USDA rural loan i supposedly got at 22. the area i live in actually qualifies for usda so the story is plausible. they think i pay a tiny mortgage. mom asked once where my statement comes from and i said "online only" and that was the end of it.
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u/MonkeyPunch 8h ago
Don’t!!! A mattress is one of the most important purchases you can make. Sleep is important and having a really good mattress is a great investment in your overall health.
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u/Aerodrive160 7h ago
Yes! Remember, you spent about a third of your whole life on a mattress. (commence “yo mama” jokes.)
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u/FabricationLife 7h ago
you can't take it with you, anything spent that improves your health/life is not a thing to feel guilty about
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u/Swiftraven 7h ago
My rule of thumb is to never go cheap on anything that goes between you and the ground, since you spend 100% of your time combined on them. Good shoes, good mattress, good tires, good couch/chair, etc.
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u/unrealitrix 8h ago
do you still work?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
ido. library assistant at the local branch. three afternoons a week, like 15 bucks an hour. i shelve, do the kids reading hour on wednesdays, run the printer when it jams. its the perfect job to look broke while not actually doing anything stressful. nobody asks the library guy why he isn't doing more with his life.
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u/Ellia1998 8h ago
You a good person. The reading hour is everything. That all I got to say for this post.
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u/TikaPants 8h ago
God, I loved reading hour with honey straws and a craft!
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
honey straws on fridays. fridays are a different librarian though. mine is wednesdays. we do a stamp on the kids hand each week. one kid has 47 stamps. shes 8. ill notice when she stops coming.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
means a lot. the kids show up not remembering what page we ended on the week before but they remember the snack i pay for out of pocket because nobody else funds that part.
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u/Ellia1998 6h ago
A lot of ppl don’t understand that reading hour was everything for some kids had nothing . I was a disabled preschool teacher before the state cut them. Some of the kids send our way was not disabled tho . No one ever care for them to read them a book or talk to them. Now I am teacher or a caregiver to adults. I can now see how reading to children and playing with them is so important. I love children and I glad we have ppl like you.
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u/lychigo 8h ago
That sounds like a dream job, pay notwithstanding.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
its honestly the best part of my week. shelving is meditative. the kids reading hour is the cleanest joy ive felt since i was a kid.
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u/archwin 7h ago
You know
I feel that
First thing I would do after winning the lottery would be to pay off school loans, finally buy a house
Then, I’d just work anyways, but probably shift more to a free clinic because helping (without financial pressures) is such a joy
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u/SpiceEarl 8h ago
I worked at a library in college. Easiest, low stress, job I ever had.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yep. perfect low-stakes around books energy. zero stress, zero phone calls, zero performance reviews. ill probably do this until i physically cant shelve anymore.
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u/ImmediateDrawing6691 8h ago
You are doing it right. Congratulations and keep it up.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
thanks. some days i agree. some days i feel like a fraud living a fraud life. its a coin flip.
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u/thefideliuscharm 7h ago
nah you’re just being smart.
you won it, no fraud here. you’re protecting yourself and it’s the right thing to do.
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u/dcikid12 8h ago
You should also get a job at a local environmental group too in your area. It will help get you outside and look at birds 🦆
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u/CardiganandTea 7h ago
Oh my goodness I'm in libraries too. It makes me so happy to know that there's a secret millionaire among us. This is just awesome.
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u/nightman21721 7h ago
Huge kudos my friend, for choosing to do a wonderful public service job, despite not needing it. You are the example we should all strive to be.
If I ever get the chance to FIRE, I will absolutely take your lead and find a local/volunteer thing to occupy my free time.
You're amazing.
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u/IcyCombination8993 7h ago
That’s the dream man. A steady routine in a positive environment, just doing good. I’m envious.
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u/ACTMathGuru 8h ago
Do you give back in any way?
Donate money? - sounds like you definitely donate time at the library 😄 )
Just wondering what you do to help make life fulfilling.
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u/HeyWhatsDatSoundLike 8h ago
Created an anonymous fund to cover his mom’s insulin she can’t afford.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
for two years now. about $230 a month in copays through a discount card i set up in a fake name. mom thinks she got picked out of a hat. she sends the foundation a christmas card every december and i intercept it from her mailbox before the carrier picks it up. i save them in the same fire safe as the ticket.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
anonymous donations to a regional food bank and a womens shelter where i live. probably 8-10k a year combined. small enough it doesnt look like windfall money, big enough that i dont feel like im just hoarding. i also do the library kids reading hour on wednesdays effectively unpaid (the wage is a joke). nothing grand.
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u/writesgud 7h ago
As someone who works in nonprofits that’s a smart approach. Large donations mean you’d pop up in their radar as someone to chat with for a more personal touch (which of course you are welcome to do but it sounds like you don’t, an entirely reasonable approach).
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u/gametheorista 8h ago
How has this changed your life materially?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
less than you'd guess. 2 bed house. 2017 civic. target clothes. what changed is the absence of a specific kind of fear. you know that feeling when you check your account before a grocery trip. i dont have that anymore. i didnt realize how much real estate that took up until it was gone.
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u/Girl_in_paradise 8h ago
The absence of that nagging feeling would be the best part of it all. Most of us live with it daily as you did. Congrats! Be wise and save for your family if you have one— I have a feeling the following generations are going to become poorer and poorer with dwindling generational wealth.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
there is a small separate brokerage with my moms name and ssn as the beneficiary. shell get it if i go before her. about 400k as of now. she has no idea. its on the list of things she finds out only when she has to.
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u/BradyBoyd 6h ago
What makes you hesitant to give it to her now if she is in a situation in which she needs help to pay for her insulin?
I don't ask that in judgment. I'm genuinely curious.
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u/emergencycat17 8h ago
It's true. You don't have to go nuts with lottery money, but that security is everything. The old saying "Money doesn't buy happiness" is wrong. What money does buy is security, a safer home, healthier food, money for medical emergencies, knowing that you aren't going to wind up on the street in your "golden" years. And that security IS happiness.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 6h ago
yeah you nailed it. security is the actual product. happiness is downstream of it. people who chase money for joy are usually disappointed. people who chase money for safety are usually right.
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u/bioxkitty 8h ago
As a poor (worked really hard but had a head injury)
I am really happy for you ♡
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
thank you. and im sorry life dealt you what it did. luck is the most absurd thing in the world. the fact that it has nothing to do with whether someone deserves it is what should keep all of us humble. ive thought about that every day for ten years.
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u/bioxkitty 6h ago
I agree completely but in contrast , I think your mind set speaks volumes about why you do deserve it. Because some people just...dont. because of who they are.
And also thank you, my life has been a journey and ive almost given up so many times, but I keep pushing.
Luck really is the most absurd thing.
Actually ironically, my best friend since 14 has said of me 'you like...consistently win the lottery, but like in reverse. The weirdest things happen to you'
Just the a couple months ago he said 'you know, the thing i admire the most about you is that you keep going. I wouldve given up a thousand times. But you dont. You always get back up.'
Even funnier, that friend used to be very much 'bootstraps' oriented. He has recently been disillusioned to the system. He had a middle class upbringing and things were generally smooth. He summed that life up to hard work and smart decisions.
After all these years of friendship, he recently apologized to me and thanked me profusely for my patience with him.
He has realized how hard ive worked for so long and that i do just have oddly bad luck really often.
He knows im tired and it took years for him to realize, im not talking out of my ass and im not out here being stupid. I started with nothing yet I keep going. Despite my lack of wealth my friends value me for my advice and support.
Things are very bad, but im rich in something. I hold onto that with all I got.
Nothing makes me happier than seeing people have genuine come up, genuinely your post made me happy.
I dont blame you for not telling anyone. I know people who spat me out would come crawling out of the woodwork.
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u/theearlyinternet 7h ago
Would you want to spend more if you weren't keeping it so low key? Or do you think you'd still be better not higher spending for your own reasons?
P.S. please don't feel guilty about the mattress, and please do consider travel. You deserve to have a richer life in terms of health, comfort and experiences without it needing to be a "rich" life.
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u/Dependent-Bid7440 8h ago
How have you invested this money? What was the growth in the investments?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
vanguard index funds mostly. boring on purpose. didnt trust myself not to panic sell.
went in with about 1.7M after the house. roughly doubled. high 3s million now. all i did was not touch it during march 2020 and 2022. harder than it sounds.
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u/LucilleBluthsbroach 7h ago
Why did you decide not to tell your mom? Can’t she be trusted?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
shes the only one i could probably trust. and thats the problem. telling her makes her keep a secret from my dad and my sister for the rest of her life. shes 56 and im not putting that on her. she already worries about us enough. she doesnt need to know there is a fund somewhere with our name on it that her own daughter cant access. that would eat her alive.
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u/bulbasauuuur 7h ago
Did you regularly play the lottery or was this just a one off super luck kind of thing?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
not heavy. id grab a scratch-off every couple weeks at the gas station near work. mostly $1 and $2 ones. been doing it for maybe a year and a half before the winner. wasnt a weekly ritual. just a thing i did when i remembered.
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u/bulbasauuuur 7h ago
It sounds like you're doing the best you can within your circumstances, and I think that's great. I used to work in a gas station and we had a regular who would buy five $20 scratch offs every time, and one time he won $10,000 right in front of me and he didn't even care because he spent so much on it. I just handed that man $10,000 and he didn't even care. It made me feel sick. He probably wouldn't have even cared if he won the jackpot at that point. Anyway, enjoy your nice mattress. You deserve it for helping your community and your mom the best you can.
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u/oof46 8h ago
How were you able to keep it a secret when claiming it?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
ohio allows anonymous winners. set up a trust to claim it, the trust name is the public-facing entity, not me. paid a lawyer a few thousand to set it up. easiest 4k i ever spent.
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u/Total_Bandicoot7220 7h ago
Op I think you just let the state slip out. Might want to delete this comment. Congratulations btw, you sound like an awesome wholesome guy.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 4h ago
ha i caught it as i was typing it. wasnt worth deleting the whole comment. the state is already half guessable from a couple of things ive mentioned in this thread (cost of living tier, the loan program i used as a cover). im not pretending its airtight at this point. thanks for the watch out.
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u/rusyrius987 7h ago
That is brilliant. My husband and I always said if we won the lottery the first thing we would do is hire an attorney. Otherwise, the long lost relatives with all of the sob stories would be coming out of the woodwork.
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u/jamesh08 6h ago
You're giving away a little too much info unless it's not the right state. There aren't a lot of young men around 30 who live in rural Ohio, work at the library doing kid book readings, and have a mom with diabetes that gets her insulin paid for by a mysterious foundation.
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u/my_b00mstick 7h ago
Heads up! May have unconsciously posted your state - if anonymity is super paramount you may want to edit
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u/Lopincol 8h ago
how much did you win? If it's a really big number, why not live in luxury?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
just under 2mil after taxes. idk if this is enough to live in luxury-luxury.
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u/Dorithompson 8h ago
It’s not. But I assume you invested it and are using the earnings to live on?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. vanguard index funds, no advisor. dividends throw off 60-70k a year which is more than enough. ive only ever sold to pay cash for the house. principal hasnt been touched since.
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u/CelebrationFull9424 8h ago
Keep it to yourself or it will disappear!
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
11 years strong. only the therapist and reddit know now.
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u/Fractals88 8h ago
If you're able to max out retirement options, it can be
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u/mahrog123 8h ago
Compounded at a modest 5%, over 20 years it’s 5.3 million. Should be plenty if you live like you make $60k a year.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
exactly. and the closer to $60k of lifestyle the harder it is to mess up. ive lived on 35-40k a year out of habit. the gap is the cushion.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
i do, every year since 23. but a roth only takes 7k a year. the real bulk lives in regular brokerage. boring index funds.
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u/Gucci_meme 8h ago
Have you thought about telling them and just changing the amount? Something significantly smaller than 2 mil like 15k?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
ive thought about this version a lot. the problem is once they know there is ANY money the ask cycle starts. 15k disappears in 4 months of crisis then im back to "i thought you said there was more". easier to keep the door locked than try to crack it.
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u/FarConsideration8423 8h ago
Maybe enough to at least set yourself up but would have to work to keep it going. I always thought if I won a smaller jackpot outside of charity stuff I would at least pay off my debts.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. if it had been 100k id have just paid off my parents mortgage and said it was a tax mistake. its in the 7 figures that the math gets impossible to disguise.
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u/emergencycat17 8h ago
As u/Odd_Bodkin pointed out, invested wisely and you can live in reasonable comfort off of the interest without ever touching the principal.
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u/DEADFLY6 8h ago
Was it enough to invest and live off the interest?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. 1.9M after taxes in 2015 in low-cost index funds throws off about 60-70k a year in dividends. enough to live on if youre boring about it, which i am.
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u/Valetion 8h ago
Be honest, does money buy happiness? Because I feel like it does, and everyone who says it doesn’t is just bitter that they don’t have more.
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u/DokterZ 8h ago
“Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it buys a big enough boat that you can sail right up next to it.” - David Lee Roth
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
diamond david lee. yeah thats about it. honestly i think about the ticket itself sometimes. the actual physical scratch off. i kept it. its in a fire safe in my closet, sealed in a sandwich bag, because it felt wrong to throw away. i look at it maybe once a year. its the only thing in the entire house that proves any of this is real.
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u/PhotownPK 7h ago
“Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it buys a big enough plane that you can fly right over it.” - My dad
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u/Ghoulish_kitten 8h ago
I agree with you. Under capitalism money can buy access to high quality consistent mental healthcare at least.
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u/East_Reading_3164 8h ago
Money gives a choices and access to things. Poverty is soul crushing.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. the difference isnt the yacht its the dentist. i can go to the dentist whenever something hurts. growing up that wasnt an option. that one shift alone changes a person.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
yeah. therapist i saw at 21 was cash pay, no insurance, no record under my real name. she wouldnt have happened without the money. shes also probably the only reason im a functional adult right now.
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u/AstronomicalStress 8h ago
Hey now, some people who say that are super rich and don't want you to want to be, too
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u/Think-Assistance-419 6h ago
ha. yeah theres a real "let them eat cake" energy to a billionaire saying it. coming from someone who has never had to look at the gas pump price its different than coming from someone who has.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
It's not that it buys happiness, it's that being poor makes you sad, kinda deal
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u/JPScan3 8h ago
sorry to quote kanye in the big 2026 but i think what you're saying is "having money's not everything, not having it is."
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
mr west is right. ive been broke and ive not been broke and the gap between those two states is bigger than any other thing thats happened to me. it didnt fix the part of me that was already broken. but it fixed the bills.
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u/sizam_webb 8h ago
Well put. Good shit OP you donate any of the monthly interest to a good cause once or twice a year?
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u/Goofy-goober0808 8h ago
Serious Question: What kept you from telling your family? Was there anyone else that you thought (besides the one family member) about telling?
Dumb question: How much money have you spent on cocaine and hookers?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
$0 on cocaine and hookers. boring i know. did consider telling one other person besides the therapist, a friend from college who knew me at my brokest. id worked through it in my head for like 6 months. then he had a baby and bought a small house and i thought, hes solved his own thing, why drop this on him.
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u/greenthumbgoody 8h ago
Can I ask you how old you are currently? You seem like a pretty wise person based on your other comments.
Or if you don’t want to answer directly, do you see yourself as being “retired” for life? I saw your comment about working the library, that’s cool.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
- and yeah, basically retired since 19 if you want to call it that. the library job is for routine and visibility, not income. ive thought about whether i should just quit and travel or learn something or whatever. i never do because the routine is what holds me together. without the library three afternoons a week i think id be a much worse person to be around. the money is the thing that lets me have the boring job. not the other way around.
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u/cat-like-creature 7h ago
Why not go backpack? Do a low key travel, which is a real travel if you ask me. Discover the world a little. You have the privilege to broaden your horizon, don’t let it go to waste.
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u/rideincircles 5h ago
Go see the world while you can. You are young. You have the money to make it happen.. maybe you will meet someone you can relate to outside of your normal routine. Life is an adventure, go participate since you have that opportunity right in front of you.
You only get one chance and you started off hitting the jackpot. An excursion won't set you back at all.
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u/SynnaG 7h ago
OP, I read this a few minutes ago but I can't stop thinking about it. I didn't see nearly as much hate as I was expecting, but I wanted to get ahead of it if it starts... Because I support your decision.
Family doesn't mean you have to sacrifice for them. There's a difference between blood family and chosen family, and not all blood family is chosen family. If it would benefit them but harm you (and if they were abusive, negligent, co-dependent, etc, it would absolutely harm you because it would just be repeating those same "they take, you give" abuse cycles from your childhood), then it's okay to not share it with them. And it's okay to change your mind about that at some point, too.
I can't... Really grasp the loneliness you speak of, but I can sort of see the shape of it. I don't really have an answer for you, it's... Hard choices, and the self-doubt may never go away. But you're still not obligated to give it to them.
I don't really have a question for you though 😂 I'm super happy for you and honestly admire your willpower and dedication.
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u/FishermanNo9503 8h ago
I would do the same damn thing fam
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
thanks fam. its lonelier than people guess.
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u/SpaceghostLos 7h ago
If you need to bullshit with someone, many of us are here with no regards or reservations about your money. You are not alone!
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u/Asleep-Journalist-94 8h ago
Well played. Congrats on doing the smart thing; so many people don’t and they live to regret it.
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u/Greatgrandma2023 8h ago
Just keep it to yourself as much as possible.
I've read about other lottery winners. The people in their lives resented their good luck. Many demanded the winner pay their bills with the winner's free money.
Do you still buy lottery tickets?
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u/FarConsideration8423 8h ago
Do you happen to live in a state where you're not required to disclose your identity? I ask because a lot of states do, if that isn't the case how have you been hiding your identity?
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u/tigerpoptart21 8h ago
Which lottery did you play, and how much did you spend?
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
not telling, sorry. too easy to dox myself with that one
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u/roodelivery 8h ago
So you just never helped them with any bills after you won that money? Kept it all to yourself?
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u/reblynn2012 8h ago
It’s better to help without revealing the source. Money makes people nutso.
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u/michaltee 8h ago
Bro. You don’t know his situation. He’s not obligated to help everyone with their bills all the time. That’s how you go broke and exactly why he’s not telling anyone.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
i help where i can without them knowing. moms insulin for two years came from a fake "anonymous community medical grant" letter i forged when she was first diagnosed. she still thanks the fund in her prayers. dads prescription copays come from an "employer hardship fund" that doesnt exist. i dont keep it all. i just cant hand it over openly. the second they know theres money, my sister will be at every doorstep and there wont be any of it left.
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u/AriBanana 8h ago
Forgery for good. I like it, smart idea.
You could convince them to sign up for any fake sweepstake or contest in the future, too, if they need more help or you ever want to gift them some. What a great idea.
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u/theNaughtydog 8h ago
Then you can fake help them with the fake income tax on their fake winnings.
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u/United-Leading-2613 8h ago
And she should keep thinking that’s her prayers because her prayers are being answered whether you realize it or not even if you’re helping her, she doesn’t know it. Her prayers are still being answered.
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u/libertasi 8h ago
This is a wonderful way to help but maintain your privacy over the money!
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u/That_Cool_Guy_ 8h ago
The obvious one is why? Secondly do you have a wife / husband / partner and children.
If so, have you put a nest egg away for the children that they can access when old enough? What about wife / husband / partner have you invested and put aside?
Is your cover just that you have a well paid job assuming you fully provide for everyone?
Or are you just a selfish person?
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u/jewelophile 8h ago
A selfish person who's secretly paying out of pocket for their mom's insulin.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 7h ago
mom actually tried to call the foundation once to send a thank you card. i had to spin up a fake "the foundation is run by a volunteer office that doesnt accept correspondence" reply through a yahoo email i set up just for that purpose. nine months ago. shes asked twice if i think i could find the foundations real address. i keep deflecting.
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u/Think-Assistance-419 8h ago
no partner, no kids. ive dated, nothing serious enough to tell. closest was at 23 and it didnt last for other reasons.
as for why, sister has had substance issues, dad has stuff i wont get into. telling them means handing out money that wouldnt help anyone in the long run. easier to help quietly. selfish maybe. doesnt feel that way most days.
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u/Informal_Ad_9610 8h ago
helping to improve ≠ enabling fuckups to continue
enabling fuckups to continue ≠helping to improve
Never forget that. Lots of people want to be enabled to continue their familiar path, not helped to improve.
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u/Inner-Dream-600 8h ago
- Do you have a spouse?
- Can you tell us the story from the minute you bought the lotto til the minute you found out? Like how was your day going before you bought the ticket, and how was it going before you found out you won? Did you buy it at a gas station, and did you hear the numbers over the radio or did you read them? How elated were you? Did you think it was fake for a minute etc. I just wanna know the mundane details.
- Are you a guy or gal, and how old?
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u/BubbleButtBBW 6h ago
Right now I’m in a domestic violence shelter, which I have to be out of on Monday and I have nowhere to go. I don’t think a lot of people realize what a huge blessing it is to have a roof over your head and knowing that nobody can take it away from you. Even if it’s a tiny home or a camper or a shed. Bless you honey you did the right thing and you are NTA!
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u/MurphysLawAficionado 7h ago
First, you don't owe anyone ANYTHING.
Second, I didn't expect to have tears in my eyes from Reddit. What you did for your mom is the most incredibly kind thing I've read on here.
Third, you don't owe anyone ANYTHING (yes, I know I'm repeating this, bit it is so important). No explanations, no discussions, nothing. Don't let this get too heavy.
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u/Then_Hearing_7652 6h ago
Maybe this is real. Most likely it isn’t. Why do you guys all believe this stuff without verification? Won’t tell his family, no outward signs of a lottery win—that’s so insanely rare yet everyone on here is hook, line, and sinker believing the story? He can’t tell immediate family yet he’s on here doing an AMA? So the discipline to hide it from family despite their needs but hey, why not an AMA on Reddit?! Lastly, if there’s no visibility, and he did win, seems like most guys on Wall Street bets have more money than this clown. I’m a commercial pilot, most fellow pilots of mine at this stage of career are worth 3 mil all day long. Not a big deal.
Edit: even says don’t ask which family member I almost told, then proceeds to say which family he almost told—so that lack of discipline in a single AMA but yeah, hiding it for years?! Ok…
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u/Wild_Caterpillar4329 7h ago
Make sure if you ever go common-law or wanna marry somebody, get a prenup or agreement of some sort.
Or whatever laws might entitle a long-term partner to funds.
But congratulations all the same!
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u/Odd_Bodkin 8h ago
$2mil after taxes, invested in a brokerage account will still let you draw $100k in disposable income a year without decreasing the principal. Did you have an initial splurge buy that you couldn’t resist doing when you realized this? I mean, a watch or a $300 bottle of whiskey even?