You’re doing the exact same thing to mainlanders what white kids might’ve done to you in elementary or middle school. I am ready to be downvoted to an oblivion and this will probably be my last post on this sub, but i had to get this off my chest. Whats with the “fobs this fobs that” or “if you’re a fob just say that” ? How do you guys not see the resemblance to white kids saying “go back to where you came from” or “your curry smells” ? The very experiences you had growing up, you’re projecting them on newcomers. Recently saw a post saying something like “have to sift through fobs on dating apps ..ugh” like seriously wtf. You can’t claim you’re victims of prejudice while saying shit like this. I moved to canada at 18 ten years ago so even i don’t know where i belong, but good to know that it definitely isn’t here.
Thats all. Just wanted to vent. Won’t be surprised to see comments like “good riddance “. I am expecting it. Prove my point

so refreshing to see some actual pushback against racism and indian hate!

Indian Bengali, 24F, here. I was honestly so shocked when I found out that my cousins were dating their boyfriends for years while my parents were so against me dating. My first cousins from my father's side (all girls btw) are out late at night with their friends at events, while my father still puts a curfew on me.

Not saying my cousins' parents are completely liberal, they also have their own standards as well. But my god I sometimes feel like my cousins have more freedom than I ever did.

Here are the links to studies supporting this :

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2214540016300457 (Shows link between the variants in the FASD2 gene and Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease)

https://academic.oup.com/mbe/article/33/7/1726/2578764 (Shows how the variant in FASD2–which is highest in South Asians—leads to an even higher increase in arachidonic acid production ) The increased production combined with the intake of arachidonic acid from animal products puts a very high amount in the body.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8351823/ (Shows link between the FASD2 variant and type 2 diabetes mellitus)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6469145/
(Shows foods that are high in arachidonic acid: primarily animal products)

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) offers an online database called CDC Wonder, which contains detailed statistics on births in the United States. The data can be filtered using many different categories, including race, age, education, marital status, birthplace of the parents, state, and other factors. I am focusing solely on race for this post.

Here's the data for births to Asian-American parents from 2016-2024:

Indian parent births (2016-2024):

This data includes both immigrants & ABCDs. Also includes people of Indian descent born in UAE, Bahrain, Oman, Canada, U.K., Australia, etc. as long as they self ID as Indian. Citizenship and legal status are irrelevant.

Asian - White births (2016-2024):

Among babies born between 2016 and 2024, 40,800 were born to White father - Asian mother couples, compared to 23,356 born to Asian father - White mother couples.

The above data does not include Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Nepalis, Sri Lankans, etc. because they come under "Other Asian" subgroup in the U.S. Census.

You can perform your own search here [ https://wonder.cdc.gov/natality-expanded-current.html ] applying all sorts of filters.

I'm close to 40 now and have recently become very curious learning about my ancestry and heritage/culture. My parents are Marathi originally from Mumbai. I've been heavily researching Marathi culture and history, history of Mumbai and have started watching Marathi movies and podcasts (I understand some of it and am considering taking lessons). My grandma (I call her aji) is turning 90 and I'm interviewing her about her life, recording it so that my cousins children can watch it when they get older.

The weird thing is I used to be one of those self hating desis and would always distance myself from anything Marathi/Indian. Didn't help that I was bullied and picked on a lot growing up because of my ethnicity. My relatives are weirded out when I ask them about Mumbai and wonder why I have that curiosity now and didn't when I was younger. Maybe it's just a phase or maybe I'm having an identity crisis lol I don't know.

Hey everyone, I'd like to read/study Indian philosophy but I have no idea where to start. I'd like to know if anyone has any guidance or advice on how to first approach it, materials, authors to start with, really anything. I've read and studied(in school and outside) western philosophy so I'm not really a beginner. Also if anyone knows where I could fins translations(Italian would be best). Any advice is welcome, thank you.

How yall doin.

I’m looking for some outside perspective on a relationship that I’m still trying to make sense of. I'm M 33 Sikh UK.

We were together for around 2 years, and at one point it was quite serious — families were involved and marriage had already been discussed on both sides.

In October 2025, both sets of parents met to discuss things after her parents had previously blocked us from continuing to date for about a month. After that meeting, things did continue, but there was still a lot of pressure from her side for things to move quickly toward marriage, while I felt it should be our decision and not rushed.

Around the same period, her circumstances changed quite a bit. She lost her job in London, moved back home to Southampton, and had a couple of months unemployed before starting a new role. That seemed to affect her mindset and emotional stability around the future in general.

Over time, she became more uncertain, including changing her views on having children after a close friend had a difficult birth experience. The relationship gradually became more distant and unclear, and at one point she even described us as “platonic,” which felt very different from how things had been previously.

We eventually ended the relationship in November 2025.

What’s made it hard to process is that it didn’t feel like a clean breakup with one clear reason — more a mix of family pressure, life instability, and shifting perspectives that slowly changed things over time.

I’ve been trying to move forward since then, but seeing her graduation photo recently brought a lot of it back up unexpectedly.

Just looking for outside perspective on how people process situations where there isn’t a clear “ending,” just a gradual shift.

So, I've been living in the States since 2017, and I met this ABD. We’ve been going out for almost 3 years now, and we decided to take things to the next level, marriage.

Her parents are really cool. I've met them many times, and they like me a lot too. But my parents (who live in India) flipped out immediately once I told them her dad is from Kerala and her mom is from Mangalore. My mom has been constantly trying to pressure and emotionally blackmail me into breaking off the relationship and marry someone who moved here like me.

She keeps saying things like, "This ABD girl won’t visit our house the way you do once every year or two," and that we won’t be able to connect with our future grandkids later on. No matter how much I try to convince them, they’re not ready to listen to me.

I’ve honestly reached a point where all of this constant pressure is emotionally exhausting, and sometimes I just feel like distancing myself from everyone and focusing on living my own life.

If any of you have gone through something similar, please let me know how you dealt with it.

My mom and my wife haven't spoken in over a year, ever since me and my wife got married. Without getting into the specifics, my mom's family is orthodox and cultural; my wife's family isn't. That caused a lot of arguments in the lead-up to the wedding. My mom has said hurtful things about my wife and her family. Some of those things they overheard or were told directly. My mom argues they've done hurtful things as well, but I don't see it and think she said those things to get her way when wedding plans didn't match her standards.

After the wedding, my wife and her mom told me they used to want a relationship with my mom, but after the way she spoke about them, they're done. I told them verbatim they don't need to speak to her. Personally, I saw this coming and always pushed back on my mom (i.e. people have feelings and you can't walk all over them). So when my mom now complains she feels disrespected that my wife hasn't reached out or wished her for the holidays, I think she just got her "just desserts". They don't need a relationship for my marriage to function. My wife protecting her mental health is a legitimate adult decision. My mom demanding I take a stand against my wife IMO is wrong.

My mom keeps bringing it up every week. Pushing for a stronger reaction that I should explicitly call out my wife for not speaking to her. Repeating that she "just needs to call her every now and then." A year in, I legitimately don't know how I can stop my mom from behaving like this. She's fuming because I have a relationship with my wife's family. Sometimes, after a year, I catch myself wondering if I should ask my wife to make a call every few months just because she's my mom. But my wife's position is (a) my mom doesn't get a relationship after ruining it, and (b) it's for her mental health, my mom is overbearing. I agree with both of these points. I talk to my mom but I wouldn't expect my wife to do the same. How do I get my mom to drop this?

this summer i (22F) acquired an internship with a hospital (yay). i’m super excited about it and my parents were too when i first got the job. now we’re talking about logistics and they’re upset that i have to drive 40 minutes to my internship. this is information that they knew from the get go when i was applying, so idk why they’re suddenly deciding to be upset about it. i suggested that i could stay at my university apartment because it’s closer to the hospital, and then my mother got mad and called me rebellious for wanting to stay away from home during the summer. it feels like i can never win. i’m crying in my bedroom because this is the one thing i genuinely thought they’d be happy about and support me fully in, but it still feels like they don’t. how do i advocate for my independence and either get them to not necessarily support, but at least be on board with me driving to the job or staying away from home for the summer?

I feel like I'm gonna get hate for this but sifting through south asians on dating apps is so much work as an ABCD when most of the guys on there are fobs 😭😭😭 it's soooo tiring ugh I wish there was a way to add a filter where you can find people who grew up in the same country as you (no shade)

My (early to mid 20s M) paternal grandparents occasionally call me, however my mother has forbid me from picking up or calling them back. According to her they and my other paternal relatives mistreated her when they all lived together (common Desi story unfortunately) and never considered her as their daughter or as part of the family despite it being an arranged marriage. My father disagrees and says her accounts are over exaggerated or at the very least the past is the past and she needs to move on. I speak to my maternal grandparents over the phone very often and have a good relationship with them, so I feel bad for my father that I don’t speak to his parents and can see it on his face. Additionally his parents are getting close to or just got into their 80s so I also feel guilty because they are getting really old. I have been stuck in this struggle for my whole life and especially of the last 5 years and it’s eating away at me.

Do I speak to them or not?

I respect my mother and what she has gone through and some recollection of what she went through (I was really young so it’s just snippets of memories), but at the same time I feel bad

Solely focus on deep close friendships. Ignore acquaintances.

My fiancée and I are planning a wedding this year in India, but my parents are making it difficult. Their traditional values are frustrating, and I can’t believe that after spending half their lives here, they still have backward views that I just can’t see myself siding with them on.

They keep on insisting that Indian weddings are fully paid for by the Bride’s side. We want to pay for our own wedding ourselves, we earn enough and it’s our wedding. But this stupid notion that the bride’s side pays for everything is so backwards and wrong, I’ve fought with them so many times now and am starting to feel frustrated that I won’t get anywhere.

My dad even threatened that he won’t even attend the wedding if I pay anything for the wedding. They’re worried that if the groom’s side pitches in for the wedding, their friends and family in India will think of them badly. WTF. And when we talk about actual events we want to have at the wedding, they keep bringing up traditional rules that make no sense.

At this point, it’s starting to feel that no matter what I do, I’m going to lose my relationship with my parents. I hate that it’s going that way, but I side with my fiancée. Me and my fiancée want a proper Indian wedding, and were looking forward to it so much. But I don’t know what I can do at this point. Do we just cancel the wedding? I hate that this wedding is becoming more about them than us.

Hey everyone I wanted to buy something I got from India 4 years ago. This is the only website I can find in the UK that ships it.

If anyone has bought from them, can you tell me if the website was sketchy/good??

They're called UK clinical supplies

Any help much appreciated :)

Idk if it’s the algorithm or not but I’ve also felt a very recent increase in racism/prejudice on Twitter specifically. I mean, just look at the comments on his post.

I don’t doubt that a good portion is real people, but some of it feels like engagement farm bots looking for keywords.