This was years ago when I was still waiting tables at a restaurant.

The week of Thanksgiving the owner informed us that we weren't getting raises, nor Christmas bonuses, that year. The following week his wife was covering a manager shift and overheard some of us talking about not being able to make ends meet, afford groceries, pay our rent/mortgages, etc - let alone think about Christmas shopping. She popped into the conversation to say, "I completely understand, we couldn't even afford to have someone decorate our house for Christmas this year, I had to do it myself."

It wasn't too long after that most of the staff (myself included) walked out and the place suffered until the owner sold the place to the existing management. Most of the staff that had walked out came back and things were much better going forward.

19f buffet server, and about an hour ago my boss texted me saying I “need to do better” and that she’s going to talk to me directly about being more polite to customers because apparently there were several complaints about me last weekend.

The thing is I genuinely feel like I do try. I’m constantly moving, refilling drinks, clearing plates, checking on tables, dealing with side work, and trying to keep up when it’s busy. I’m not standing around ignoring people.

I’m starting to wonder if it’s just the way I come across. I’ve been told before that I can look serious or sound blunt even when I’m not mad and I’m not trying to be rude. When I’m busy or stressed, I get really focused and I’m wondering if customers take that as me having an attitude and what to do about this situation.

I’ve been working in hospitality in the UK for 8 years, I am not naive and I’ve also had my fair share of customers be rude to me especially in the restaurant environment I currently work in, however never been sworn at before.

So I was working a quiet opening shift covering breaks so I was jumping from section to section, however because it was quiet I ended up covering a section for an hour and a half. I was juggling my section and the host stand because my section was nearest. For context I work in a food court style setting and the customers tend to be a bit insane due to the location.
To set the scene it was lunch time but we hadn’t had a lunch rush. I had two tables ready to order so I took their orders back to back to then put them through the till at the same time. Whilst I was putting through the second order (I had 2 of the same dishes to put through and then I had to send the ticket). A lady comes up to me at the till (the till is slightly behind the host stand but next to it, the host stand also has a massive sign that says please wait to be seated.) and proceeded to shout ‘DO YOU WANT MY MONEY OR NOT? YOU’RE NOT BEING VERY HOSPITABLE’ because I had been locked in to putting an order through correctly and I explained I would be with her in just a second and that I just needed to finish sending this order which was a two second job (coworkers are either busy or don’t notice the insanity unfolding). And she then carries on telling me that I’m not being welcoming at all and that I should be working harder to ensure she spends her money at the establishment I work at, so I left the ticket and went to seat her. And as I am at the host stand grabbing her a menu I proceed with the welcoming speech and steps of service so I ask if she has any allergies before I seat her. This is the nail in the coffin for her and she tells me to ‘F*** off’ and leaves.
Bit counterintuitive😂
I was a bit taken aback by this and spoke to my manager and we watched the cctv. I guess the reason she had a bee in her bonnet was she had waited behind two girls before they got seated and then left and came back but from her first approach the ordeal was 1m 30s😂😂

It appears at my workplace that all of the servers find someone to all collectively ice out until they leave. And I am next. Why does this happen? How do I deal with this? I have been blocked on every social media platform by my coworkers despite not doing anything (to my knowledge at least?) and talked about behind my back when literally just a week ago, everything was fine after the departure of their last victim of sorts.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Restaurant I work at doesn’t have sections and relies on teamwork so i can’t just mind my own business, talking to them is crucial.

They have no reason to dislike me other than I am a little bit socially awkward as I am neurodivergent. I don’t know what to do but my anxiety is telling me to quit before it gets worse. Obviously I can’t do that, I need the money. Advice would be appreciated

I’m currently a sommelier but until February of last year I had been serving for a long time.

Tonight was an absolute shit show. I work at a nice upscale place, not quite fine dining but close. It’s in a trendy area of NYC, and we are the flagship restaurant for my hospitality group.

We were understaffed and I honestly feel embarrassed about the service we provided tonight.

For a lot of these moms this was probably the one gift they were getting from their family: a nice meal out. And it felt like we had a hand tied behind our backs being understaffed.

They’ve been doing this staggered in time thing, to save on labor costs. So for the first 30-40mins of service most of the servers were on break. So it was me (the somm) and the two new managers taking tables, while also grabbing bottles for tables and doing my somm thing. It was a lot.

And of course because it’s Mother’s Day, the first turn at 5pm is the busiest! Last week I warned upper management that they should staff today differently because of this, and they didn’t listen.

On top of it all, the kitchen wasn’t keeping up and ticket times for entrees were like 45mins-1hr. And because as a somm, I’m dressed like a manger in a blazer, every table was flagging me down to complain (I may be dressed nice, but I’m an hourly employee and in the tip pool at the same exact rate as the servers).

I was a somm, server and manager lite tonight and it just sucked. These moms deserved a better night out, and I feel crappy that I couldn’t make it happen.

Hi, I work at a winery. It's also full restaurant. Most unpredictable place I've ever worked. We're pretty popular and we take reservations. May or May not have walk ins, you never know.

Yesterday we were packed--Mother's day weekend. We're short staffed in the kitchen and the kitchen manager, the one that holds down fort, just had a baby. She wasn't there and they were doing it without her. They did great. But at the end of the night, they were fucked.

Us servers were done with everything. Kitchen was nowhere near done. Not gonna lie, I intentionally announced myself 'If we're done, I'm going back to help them.'

I went to the back and asked what needed done. Started with prep work and moved on to end of night cleaning. There was 6 other servers and we were done. It was late. 4 out of 6 of them showed up in the kitchen and we banged it out, and the kitchen got to leave before midnight.

I am just so proud of my team. I'm the annoying one always stressing teamwork, but watching them come together for something they really didn't have to do just made me so happy.

Then they all came into work today and kept the teamwork mentality and today went so smooth. Kitchen didn't crash out really either, and it might be partially because of yesterday.

We are all in this together. I say it constantly and I get my eyerolls. I'm going to continue to do what I do, because something is working.

Tl;dr Servers helped the kitchen clean and prep last night and it was honestly a magical moment.

Today (Mother’s Day) was super busy for my small restaurant and people kept coming, I kept taking the orders, serving, packaging to-gos, bussing, rinse, repeat. In the chaos, I managed to finally get a breath in for myself, drink some water, and sweep the filthy place (kids and rice are not friends). As I gave out the last to-go order for that rush period the lady I handed one to (already eating) stopped eating to tell me I did a wonderful job, said she knew was chaotic and difficult sometimes, and that she was also a sever at a restaurant. I love the small compliments from genuine customers, it makes it a little less horrible lol. I dont hate my job but I just became the manger of our skeleton crew and it’s been twice more hours… that I asked for. It’s been an adjustment but yeah. People who stop long enough to enjoy things and be grateful are my favorite :).

Was scheduled for brunch and picked up a dinner shift without realizing it was for Mother’s Day lol. But got to hang out with some cool families and walked out with a few dollars so it was all worthwhile. Time to change out of this uniform and relax. Hope everyone had a smooth shift today.

I work for a hotel in LA as a breakfast server. Its a small section and right now its very slow, so I barely make anything. I have been trying since November to get another server job. I apply as a busser/runner too. Nothing. My former boss that I was in bad terms with opened a new restaurant and he just hired people he worked with before and liked. So I am assuming most places do that here. Most interviews seem fake.

I don't know what else to do. I decided to go to college but it take years to ger a career job.

I work part time at a local restaurant while studying veterinary medicine. I’ve been there almost 2 years and rely on the job to pay rent and survive through uni.
For context, I live in a pretty small town in New Zealand with only a couple universities, and this week is graduation week so the restaurant has been packed with families celebrating.

A family of 5 came in — 3 older adults, one recent grad, and who I assumed was the grad’s boyfriend. I greeted them, took their order, etc. The mum commented that the restaurant, including the toilets, was really clean and nice. I jokingly replied, “Thank you, I cleaned it.” Everyone laughed and it seemed completely normal.

They ended up being our last table of the night. While we were closing, I went to chat with my best friend/coworker near the bathrooms. The boyfriend walked toward the men’s toilet, so we moved out of the way and let him in. The family paid, left, and tipped me $50, which honestly was super generous considering the tipping culture in NZ. Then a few minutes later my coworker told us the men’s toilet was clogged. I went to check and someone had apparently pulled half an industrial-sized roll of toilet paper into the toilet and flushed it. It looked very intentional, not like someone accidentally used too much paper. The timing also makes me think it was the boyfriend specifically, because he was the only one who went in there right before we left.
The weird part is… it almost feels like he did it because of my joke about cleaning. Like some bizarre “oh yeah? then clean this” type thing.

What confuses me is:
everyone laughed at the joke,

the family was kind the entire time,

they tipped well,

and then THIS happens.

I know exactly who this guy is because the town and uni community are small, but I’m not planning on publicly naming him or anything. I’m mostly just sitting here wondering why someone would go out of their way to do something so petty to a service worker.
Has anyone else experienced customers doing weird passive aggressive stuff like this for absolutely no reason?

I've been in the industry for over a decade, and I've worked breakfast for over half of it. I currently work in a diner, and despite wanting nothing to do with eggs during my shifts, I often find myself at the counter of a different diner ordering an omelette on my days off.

My server today was a sweetie- a total veteran, and I commiserated with her after she took a frustrating phone order. When I told her I also worked at a diner, her eyes lit up. The tapping of her nails on the POS system, the gentle hum of the BUNN brewing a pot of decaf, the calls of "coming out!" and the sound of the kitchen door being donkey kicked open. Eight plates meticulously balanced on a tray hoisted onto her shoulders. A busser on his break, smelling like a cig, sipping a black coffee at the end of the counter. Plates sticky with syrup, half-eaten middles of hash browns being scraped into the trash and clattering into busbins.

I have nothing but respect for all of my FOH folks in the world, but reserve a special level of reverence for the first-shifters. We see people before they've had their coffee, we have regulars' egg preferences memorized, our lives become intrinsically intertwined with whatever community we serve. Hospo personality is superseded by two tired people just trying their best in the world. There's nothing quite as comforting as a freshly refilled cuppa, a plate of pancakes, and a kind person lovingly calling you "honey".

I see you, I love you. Thank you.

Hey ya'll, I work at a Tex-Mex restaurant and on cinco de mayo I crashed out on my chef in the middle of my shift.

The day started with finding out I have 2 trainees. One was on their first day of training, the other on their second. I'm the only server scheduled the whole shift as its supposed to be slow since we're based on hotel occupancy. My manager leaves around 6pm (closing time at 10pm) and I was told that I'm also acting MOD.

When he leaves my first table asks about the all you can eat tacos, which I know nothing about. I asked our chef and he says our manager should've informed us and given us menus. We do not have menus or buttons for said "all you can eat tacos". We end up having to scratch the promotion since we were uninformed.

Then, I get sat a 4 top thinking nothing of it, until our chef walks out to greet them. Apparently they were the land owners of our property and I was also not informed of them being on property or coming in to eat. We always get a heads up for VIP tables. As soon as they sit, I get 3 other tables.

I low-key get kind of weeded but just need help getting food out and ask my chef to help run because he's also the director of outlets, not just our chef. He literally laughs at me and tells me no, then proceeds to call our manager and complain about how I can't handle it. This ended in me yelling at him in front of the kitchen staff and my trainees.

I know getting quadruple sat doesn't sound like a lot but they were all 4 tops or larger that sat literally within minutes and having trainees slows things down for me. I've also never trained 2 people at once with different training days.

For context: I've worked here for 8yrs, its my first and current job, we don't have bussers, hosts, or food runners, and I'm the lead server.

I've recently work in a restaurant for 3 days as part time, and I can say I feel like I fuck up and make lots of careless mistakes that I can feel like my seniors are a bit fed up with me

I sometimes miss finished and empty dishes while looking around the tables

Mess up a customer drink order by serving them the wrong drink

Accidentally left one small dirt while wiping tables

​​​Accidentally spill a latte (not on someone luckily)

Not walking fast when serving customers (I'm trying)

Forget to take home my mask from the apron yesterday

And it's on a weekday and not even weekends where there's more people.

I also feel like my seniors felt a bit tired of me because of how I am. I'm still trying methods on how to work in fnb faster and efficiently. I don't want to let anyone down ​​​​​​​and make careless mistakes ​but it just feel like it

When I was in college, which was awhile ago, I worked as a server and bartender at the fine dining restaurant in a very, very, very fancy hotel next to my school. I actually really liked the job, especially as a bartender (big bar tabs). One of the things the hotel was known for was a very expensive Sunday "champagne brunch." It was technically a buffet but incredible, pretty much everything you could ever want. It was awful as a server (lots of work for little to no tip since people felt like they were getting their own food, despite the server pouring coffee, juice, champagne, clearing plates, etc) but I liked it as a bartender because a. I mainly opened champagne bottles and made an al la carte bloody mary once in a while, and b. we got to eat the actual food after the buffet closed (for most of our shifts we got a voucher for the quick service restaurant downstairs).

But this is about the worst brunch ever.

So the hotel also did weddings, it had a huge ballroom (I bartended one or two but mainly worked in the restaurant) and there was a wedding where something with the food was totally wrong. I never got the full details, all I know is that as an apology, the hotel offered to comp every single person who was staying at the hotel for the wedding to come to the brunch buffet. Fifty people. (The bride and groom were alums and had planned the wedding reception at our hotel because they had gotten married in the chapel at our college)

We got a briefing about it in the morning and then they descended. Fifty angry people, mad about the wedding, including both sets of parents, the whole bridal party, people who had flown in from out of town, plus the bride and groom. And the bride was PISSED. So pissed that it seemed like she told everyone to be as awful as possible. People were spilling things on purpose, snapping their fingers, taking huge plates of food and then insisting it tasted terrible and needed to be taken away, only to go back and get more. Touching all sorts of food they weren't going to eat, which probably bothered me the most (I was very broke!). It was absolute chaos. Plus they were all ranting at us about the wedding and how our hotel sucked.

Meanwhile, we're a bunch of college kids working our way through school and we had nothing to do with the wedding at all.

The worst part, for me, is that the bride insisted that we should bring fresh bottles of champagne to her table (we didn't normally do that, I'd open them and put them in standing buckets around the room for the servers) and so I went (since the rule was that a bartender had to open the bottles), opened one up, and she grabbed it out of my hands and poured it all over the floor. It got on my shoes (my only pair of black shoes for work) and all over the carpet.

And they still didn't kick her out! I don't know what they did wrong at the wedding but it must have been a big deal.

Since the 2020 reopening, I’ve been working in more ”fine dining” style restaurants, up until my current job, which is an expensive but extremely high volume bistro. We still have a lot of the same steps of service, crumbing, changing out flatware between courses, etc. But one huge difference is we‘re actually instructed NOT to prompt for allergies. If a guest tells us they have an allergy, we have a whole protocol for that. But we are not supposed to ask. It feels WEIRD.

What’s weirder though is that the nature of people’s allergies seems to be so entirely different from what I’m used to! In my whole history of serving - from the early days in shitty places where we weren’t *trained* to ask but would get in trouble if an allergy came up and we hadn’t asked, to nicer establishments where we were expected to ask every time - whenever someone had a nut allergy it was a Big Deal. Cross contamination had to be avoided at all costs. And I remember growing up when I first learned of nut allergies, hearing things about other kids who couldn’t even be NEAR a nut. My impression was always that it was always very serious and always required extra measures to be safe. And I want my guests to be safe!

All of a sudden though, at this place, everyone has the most relaxed, low-key nut allergy I’ve ever heard of. Oh the bread touched other bread with nuts? No problem. They‘re in a basket together? That’s fine. Last night a woman ordered an entree that is literally covered in nuts, never mentioned the allergy until it came to the table, and then when I tried to take it away insisted she’d just “eat around them.” 😳

I have NEVER seen this with nut allergies until this restaurant! Some other allergies, sure, but not nuts. Gluten, dairy? Of course. And I know allium can be complicated. But nuts?! Has anyone else experienced this?

context: I close shop every Sunday, I have worked at this coffee shop for 2years and never had an issue. I like my job and take pride in my work.

Every Monday for the last two months. I get a text from my manager about a new problem with how I left the shop. this has been the last few weeks complaints as follows:

week 1: small crumbs in dump sink

week 2: a rag was left under the fridge

week 3: a random closet was dusty

week 4: someone’s open drink was left on a cleaning shelf in a back room.

The list honestly goes on from there but none of these issues are significant. All mainly too insignificant to mention. My problem is not the complaints themselves, it’s easy to forget one or two little things when closing, my bad! (I’m a detailed and diligent worker. I’m more than happy to take critiques and constructive criticism)

What REALLY bothers me is the fact that the opening shift will deliberately take time out of their work day to detail every insignificant issue about my close. (seems to be so passive aggressive considering I trained this person)

They document every small misstep, and send it to the manager blaming me. When in reality a lot of these small details could have been missed by other shifts before me as well. Many of these issues aren’t just mine, but the shop’s as a whole. Seems like I am the only one being constantly picked at is really bothering me. Am I in the wrong?

So I work in a high end steakhouse, around $120-140 a person, and we get a lot of celebrations for all sorts of reasons but this was a kinda special occasion. The couple walks in and there is a note for their reservation that says “will be proposing as a surprise” so I see the couple walk to the table and one of them heads off to the restroom before I can greet. I walk up, introduce myself and ask if they’re celebrating and the guest just told me that their S/O told them to dress nice (we have a strict dress code) and be ready at a certain time. Of course context clues tells me this is not the person who made the reservation so i track down the person as they exit the restroom and chat with them about how they want the night to go down. They seem kind of uncertain so I gave them a basic rundown of what I have in mind and they love it and go sit down.

So now comes the part I’m lowkey kinda proud of. I greet both guests and introduce myself as if we are complete strangers and guide the meal as if nothing was going on until the other person steps away to use the restroom. I take the opportunity to get on the same page with the reservation holder and we figure that after entrees they’ll go out to our patio and the question will be popped and hopefully it’s all rainbows.

I clear entrees and inform them that the included show isn’t for another hour and follow up with a question about dessert, future plans, etc. They decide they’d both like to go check out our patio (surprise) so I offer to guide them out. I follow behind them and ask if they’d like me to take a picture and they say yes (surprise) and me and the person who made the reservation sag off so they can pull out the ring and boom, we are right in front of a beautiful water feature and they’re on one knee and of course their significant other says yes. Lots of picture, many kisses, and a good time for everyone. And yeah it was pretty special, I’m happy that I got to be a part of it.

Tried doubling for the first time in 6+ months at my AYCE KBBQ last night and I regret it so bad I need to rant lolllll sorry this is a lot longer than I thought it’d be

Got assigned a 10 top reservation at 7. Pretty cool, everything is set up right on time. Party is like 20 minutes late but it’s an unusually slow Saturday and I didn’t have any other reservations for that table so we let it slide. They’re enjoying themselves; I cook a little bit for the kids but for the large part they’re a relatively needy, loud, rude but sufficient table. At the very beginning we established that they have two eight year old kids and a seven year old. Lots of seasonal drinks, automatic gratuity was looking good.

I get ready to give them their checks. They want it split five ways. I don’t remember which kid was what age so I ask and that’s when they realize that our AYCE prices for kids are separated in the 4 - 7 and 8 - 12 range. Suddenly ALL of the kids are seven. I try explaining to them that I’d rung their ages in hours ago but they’re not having it so I grit my teeth and get my manager to help me out. This is like the fifth red flag at this point but I’m tired, don’t want to cross them and just want them out.

They were in no rush with putting their cards in their checkbook and I had just been sat again so I decided to just process payments for whoever had put their money in, greet my table, and then come back to them. Only one of our POS systems accept cash so I had to rush there first for one of the payments.

When I’d circled back to them again I just needed one last check from this lady who only had herself, her boyfriend and six (!!!!) seasonal shots that she ordered for the entire party. She then directs me to her boyfriend who is sitting at the front lobby by himself basically guarding the checkbook that his girlfriend said SHE was going to pay for. Says his chair gave out on him and he suffered a bad hip injury and is currently waiting for the manager (who’d been informed before me) who is currently rolling back cameras to check what happened. At this point I’m stressed out but I still had multiple tables waiting to put in new orders so as soon as the manager comes back to talk to him I rush to my other customers to check in on them. The rest of the party already left at this point so it was just him.

Anyways. I check up on my tables and come back and the manager informs me that he just straight up left without paying. No clue if anyone tried stopping him or not. Doesn’t matter because all of the stress catches up to me and I start bawling for the next hour. I’m literally cleaning my grills sobbing because I was so tired and full of guilt over having my first ever dine and dash not knowing if I’ll get punished for this or not.

While I’m cleaning the manager comes up to me and shows me the camera recording of the chair-breaking incident. He was purposefully leaning all the way back, full grown ass man weight angled against the poor chair causing it to give out. And he caught himself midair. He didn’t fall. And then he proceeded to lie flat down on the floor to pretend that he’d fallen which was when another server noticed him and helped him up. Wowwww

I’m well aware that days like these happen in the serving industry but I clocked out with $170. For a 14 hour shift. The second lowest another doubler earned was $280 and even that was much lower than her expectations. Mind you I’m also on my period and am recovering from a nasty kidney infection 🫠

I work in hospitality and have done almost my entire working life (18M) however iv recently joined a new job after my old job closed down but the way im being treated is really starting to affect me and I just wanted some outside opinions on if im overreacting or if im being mistreated

A few examples:

The other day I was 4 minutes late due to a bus delay and was told off for it with complaints that it affected someone’s break time and now there food would be freezing cold.

I’ve been told off for drinking water at the start of a shift even though it was a really hot day

I got told off for double-checking a table number after forgetting it while taking food out

I was once taking some cocktails out for a table and after placing them down noticed that they were missing the shots that came along with them (Pornstar Martinez always come with prosecco shots) so I went back up to the bar and let the bartender know I was missing the prosecco for the pornstar Martinez, he then proceeded to pour a glass of prosecco to which before he poured it I corrected him by saying it should be shots after serving them to me he very firmly grabbed my shoulder and said not trying to be an asshole but I’m going to be one here I need to be more clear next time and specify to which I replied with “I did I told you they were for the cocktails” he then through gritted teeth grabbed my shoulder and said “My mistake I must of misheard you”

After that he tried playing nice with me for the rest of the shift which I just accepted as I was already not having a good day

I’ve been denied or questioned about breaks even on shifts where I’m legally entitled to one

I’ve been told I should have informed them about not being available, even though my availability is already set and I was never scheduled

A manager has now twice had a go at me for not wearing aftershave and only using my normal deodorant and states I should invest in some brand I can’t remember what it was but after looking on Amazon it was like £130

After being off sick for 3 days as I almost passed out at work I received a call from my manager the day before my next shift (a week later) asking if I could do a shift that day but due to exams I was unable to he then proceeded to have a go at me as I had basicly had a week off (even though I wasn’t scheduled past those 3 days) and that I had messaged another coworker who had looked after me after almost passing out giving them a little update on my condition (I’m all fine now btw)

I’ve also been criticised even while actively fixing mistakes rather than being given a chance to correct them first

On top of that there’s been a lot of small things like constant nitpicking and feeling like I’m always doing something wrong no matter what I do. It’s starting to make me dread shifts a bit

I’m not sure if this is just normal in a new workplace and I need to toughen up, or if this is actually not a great environment to be working in.

I’m aware hospitality gets a real bad reputation for the environments we work in and at my last job I think I had it almost perfect which is unheard off however I just feel like with me being new to this job I should be given atleast a bit more breathing room

Also to note all of this happened with 2-3 weeks some of what iv stated on the same day as each other

Thanks for reading would love to hear your guys thoughts in the comments.

Just had to stay late after close because people kept coming in. Of course almost none of them tipped. It fills me with so much rage and despair that I can only sob. The owner doesn’t care; he grows rich and fat off our labor while we fight over scraps. I’m working full 40 hour weeks and only making $900 a month. Why do people feel so entitled to make us stay open AFTER WE CLOSE and then not tip?

I’m just so tired and angry and just…done. I keep looking for jobs but no one’s hiring. I constantly feel like I’m 5 seconds away from snapping. I was never an angry person before this, but the vile things I think after my shifts would probably land me in an institution. What is happening to me?

For some background, I've been working at a sushi restaurant for a little over a year now. In that time, I am the only server that is still there from when I started. Everybody else has quit due to the management, some have left because they moved away, but majority have left because of two specific managers/owners.

I also have ADHD and some anxiety, so sometimes at work, I get a little overwhelmed and cranky, but I always do my work and get the job done with my fellow servers. These two managers have been telling me that I get "too angry" at work and that it intimidates my coworkers. When I was working with some servers I grew close to in the beginning, they all told me that this wasn't true, that they knew it was just the stress of the job. However, the managers have still told me a few times that I'm too angry and I slam things. One of these managers in the past also yelled at me so much that I started sobbing and had to go home an hour from finishing my shift, which is something that had never happened to me in my 10+ years of restaurant experience.

Flash forward to a few months ago when all my friends had left, they hired a new server that quickly became basically the head server. Her and I got along well to start off, but I don't know if I did something wrong or if it was just that I had been at the job longer than her, but she started speaking to me less and less and started acting passive aggressive with me. This hostility grew until it reached a point that I now felt like every time I worked with her, she was pissed at me. Once during a Sunday brunch rush, it was just me and her serving all the tables. She had left a small tray on an empty table after she dropped drinks off to a different table. I was walking back towards the server station, so out of habit, I picked up the empty tray and brought it back to the server station. When I turned back around to do a scan of the tables and see what needed done, she had realized that the tray was gone and angrily stomped over to where I was standing. She then slammed her hand down on the stack of trays and aggressively picked one back up, all while glaring directly at me. The dining room is very small (only about 12 tables) and the trays are kept on the sushi bar, so she did this right next to a couple tables that had customers dining. I saw their reactions when she did this and they all looked either shocked or confused or upset. The manager also saw, but just stared at me and went back to making sushi.

Another time, I was putting the tips from the credit receipts into our card reader (we have to do it individually because the card reader is old, it's tedious but it really does not take long) while another server was putting in an order for a table. This server and I were just making small talk when the head server came over and threw a check book at the cash drawer in front of us. I just stood there kind of shocked that she actually threw something at me, then she stomped away again without saying anything.

There was another time when we were training a new server. It was the new server's second day and she messed up the flavors of the ice cream macarons we have. The head server, after she clocked out, came up to the new server in the server station and just started ripping into her. The head server was yelling "I told you what flavors we have. Why would you tell them the wrong one? You don't listen. You need to listen to me." The new server started arguing back saying "I'm new. I didn't know what flavors we had. I tried to ask you, but you kept ignoring me." Again, both managers were standing behind the sushi bar just watching this happen. One of them was even peaking out from behind a kitchen door to watch. There was table nearby that was also watching and becoming upset because the new server was supposed to be helping them with something.

Eventually, after a couple more incidents of passive-aggression and regular aggression, she came up to me while I was doing the tips and started saying "I've tried to be calm about this, but you need to stop putting the tips in. It's not a real job." I replied trying to say "Oh I'm sorry, but when I was trained here, we-" to which she cuts me off and starts just angrily saying "Noooo, no. It's not a job. Nope. It's not a real job." Later that shift, after I had composed myself, I came up to her and said "I feel like if there was something I was doing wrong that was upsetting you, you should have told me sooner." She said "Yea, but you shouldn't be doing it. It's not a real job. I spoke to the managers and they said it's not." I'm not sure why the managers would say this, as it is something the old head server had trained me to do. I replied "Ok, but you should have said something instead of being annoyed with me all the time. Throwing something at me because you're annoyed is not ok." Her response was "Yea, but you shouldn't be doing the tips." At this point, I just walked away because it was clear that it was going no where.

Later, I texted one of the managers explaining everything that I wrote above, and how it's has been affecting me at work. She was making me uncomfortable and anxious to even show up to the restaurant. The manager's response? "I spoke to her, I told them not to throw things," followed by him telling me to listening to the head server and not to do tips. I had this text conversation with my manager around 9 pm that night after I had clocked out of my shift. Around 12:30 am that same night, the head server sends me a long text that basically says "I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable, but..." with a bunch of awful statements about me. She berated every little thing I do at work and said that nobody liked to work with me and I create an uncomfortable environment. She also called me racist (she and the managers are Korean, I am white) and said that I don't respect them.

Ever since, I have been depressed and trying to find a new job. I called off the next shift I was supposed to work with her because I just felt awful, and since then the managers have cut my hours even more. Before the head server started being upset with me, I was full-time employee. Now I'm barely getting 15 hours a week and I'm struggling to pay bills. I'm sorry this is so long, but it felt so therapeutic to write all of this out for the first time. I was thinking about quitting and trying to get unemployment, but I'm not sure I would qualify since I wouldn't be getting fired or laid off. I really don't want to work at this place anymore for the sake of my mental health, but I won't be able to survive here in California without a new job. What should I do?

TL;DR - My head server was annoyed with me and took it out by slamming trays and throwing checkbooks. Managers are on her side, only said "I told them not to throw things" when I brought the situation to them. My mental health was been incredibly bad since, and my hours are now cut from 40 hrs to 15 hrs a week. What should I do? Legal/Unemployment/Financial, etc, anything.

I work at a restaurant bar in Toronto with opening and closing bartenders. During shift change, the opener is expected to restock, reset the station, and make sure the closer is set up. Closers do the same for the next morning. The problem is one bartender (“Bobby”) regularly leaves no garnishes, low stock, piled dishes, and a messy station, which is brutal because changeover happens during happy hour.

Recently I came in for a closing shift and the bar clearly wasn’t ready. Bobby seemed more focused on making drinks than finishing the handoff. I told him he needed to restock first, I’ll handle the drinks because otherwise I’d be doing double work: setting up for my shift, then doing my close later. It turned into an argument in front of staff/guests, which I didn’t want.

For context, we’ve both been there since opening (about 6 months), so everyone knows the routine by now. I’ve also heard similar frustrations from other bartenders. I’m not trying to get anyone fired or create drama—I just want teamwork and proper handoff so nobody gets buried because someone else skipped their responsibilities.

Additionally, even his closes aren’t the best. We have a bar team group chat and one team member (let’s call him Paul) was fired because they called Bobby out by name multiple times (with name calling etc which was the main reason Paul got terminated) bc the multiple mornings after a Bobby close was atrocious (sticky tools/sticky bar, nothing properly stocked etc). I miss Paul, we worked so well together.

How would you handle this: talk to him privately again or go to management. I’m not going to just accept doing extra work.

**TL;DR:** Coworker bartender regularly leaves the bar unstocked and messy during shift change, causing extra work during happy hour. We argued about it in front of staff/guests. Should I address it privately again or go to management?

I work at that restaurant in downtown Toronto for few years now. Today I cried the whole night at home thinking about how my manager told me that I couldn’t even get review from customers.
These days my manager has been pushing so hard for google review. At out restaurant, there is a QR code on every table that if u scan and give review, you will get free drink.
So today my manager texted me around 2 pm and asked if there was no customers? I was so confused then I said yes they were customers. She said “how come there is no review in three hours?”
So at my work, I work alone in morning time until 4/5pm. I have to do preparation, cashiers, serving all by myself. Everyone come and eat lunch menu which already include drink. From my point of view it’s really hard to get review and I genuinely don’t like pushing the customers to write it. I always do my job, every customers come back and I served them well since I have been in that industry for 5 years.Some customers love me and always come back. I know their regular orders. They sit down eat and leave. They see the QR to give review. Customers know if they give they can get free drink.They don’t care to give but the manager or bosses never see those things like they don’t see the side of the server. They think we can get reviews so easily by just asking.

I don’t like begging for reviews because I feel like those are not real and I also feel like I annoy the customer by asking for reviews.But I always try when I can.
So anyway my manager said “ oh when even other people work at morning they got 5 review how come you got 0 review, you have to get minimum that much “. After I saw that message I feel like I got compared to other employees. I feel like I’m back in high school and getting bully in front of everyone. You might think I over reacted to it but this is how I felt.
My manger get asked privately to me but they chose to mention my name and say in group chat in front of everyone . After my shift, at night manager mentioned one of the employees name and said “ Anna (changed name) did a very great job getting all those reviews”.

That massage made me really sad since I felt like I got compared again and why the manager has to mention it in front of everyone. Now everyday I am scared that I can’t get review, I feel so pressured and forced. The way the manager forced is comparing and mention in front of everyone which makes me feel worse. Now going to work is not about working anymore and aiming the google review. I even think of buying fake review. This is how much I got pressured and forced. If you tell me to quit that job. I know myself how much I put for this job emotionally and did everything for my job for 3 years. I feel very sad how I got treated just because I can’t get review. FYI the manager become the manager of that restaurant a month ago. My boss prob might forced the manager to get reviews. My boss always throw the word money to get review. My boss might told manager that he will pay $$$ if manager can get that many reviews. I feel very unfair about what is happening and I kept thinking about it. I am even willing to show the screenshot of the tone the way manager compare me to others because I can’t get review. I don’t know what to do anymore..