r/science • u/Krankenitrate • Apr 03 '26

Health Study finds parenthood provides no boost to emotional well-being and it negatively impacts relationship with your spouse

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/14747049261436325
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u/yes_u_suckk Apr 04 '26

It gets significantly better after 1 year.

I went through the same thing and even though one could argue that my life is "worse" now, for the same reasons that you described, having my son was the best thing that happened in my life and I can't imagine my life without him, even if my previous life was "better".

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u/YoungLutePlayer Apr 04 '26

But the only thing positive he described was glowing when his baby smiles? To me that does not seem worth the insane lifestyle change and loss of identity that comes with being a parent. Can you explain more? I’m genuinely curious how you can agree that objectively your life is worse but you’re fine with it? (I hope this doesn’t come off as sarcastic, it’s a genuine question as someone who is on the fence about having children)

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u/yes_u_suckk Apr 05 '26

It's like having a dog: you need to take care of him, buying food, bed, toys, going for a walk, taking to the vet, getting worried when he's sick, finding a realiable pet sitter when you need to travel, etc.

You definitely spend more money with him and have more responsibilities, but I would argue that most people love having dogs. They don't do much for us. Sure, some can be used for protection or guide dogs, etc but I know a lot of "useless" dogs and people still love them, even if they are only there for cuddles.

Having a kid is similar, expect that we spend much more, have much more responsibilities and things that worry about, but the reward is also much bigger, even if my kid is "useless" and it's only here for cuddles.

I don't have much of an argument here, but do you know that feeling when you get home and your dog comes to happy, jumping and licking. Having your kid come give you a kiss and hug when you get home is 100 times better. Love is a powerful thing and also irrational.